And you've been waiting all your life

To fly high into somebody else

And it's true it's a cruel, cruel world

Life's a bitch and then you die my love

--Right between the eyes (Garbage)

Logan let go of Veronica's arms like her skin had burned him.

"What!"

But she couldn't speak if she wanted to. Her whole body was heaving with her sobs. She pressed her hands against her eyes and rubbed them furiously. Her reaction alone was almost enough to convince him. He felt his stomach drop to about his knees. A baby…. That was---that was---

But then common sense stabbed him in the gut. And twisted. He backed away from her, shaking his head, a bitter smile on his lips.

"You almost had me," he said, a rage bubbling inside him. "But there's a flaw in your theory."

She angrily wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"What is that?"

"I took Health, Veronica. You actually have to have sex to have a baby!"

She let out a raspy laugh and nodded.

"Yeah, you do."

"Are you saying we had sex?"

She blinked at him and tilted her head.

"Are you saying we didn't?"

Man she has balls. I'll give her that.

"Veronica, do you think that if we had had sex I would remember it?" He demanded. "I mean, how stupid do you think---"

Then he felt like someone hit him in the stomach.

"Don't stop."

He caught his breath. Veronica was looking at him like he was an alien that just crash landed in front of her. He pushed both of his hands through his hair. "Oh my God."

He was getting light headed. He bent over so he wouldn't fall over.

"I love you Veronica Mars."

"Logan," Veronica challenged, her voice trembling. "Are you saying we didn't?"

He looked up at her.

"Do you have a water bed?"

She was still looking at him with amazed disbelief on her face when she nodded slowly. Logan slapped a hand over his mouth and he felt tears burning behind his eyes.

Holyfuckingshit. Holyfuckingshit. Holyfuckingshit.

Veronica was standing over him, her hands crossed over her chest protectively.

"You don't remember?"

He shook his head. He was going to pass out. He really was.

Veronica let out a strange noise. He looked up at her and she had covered her mouth with her hand. Her shoulders were shaking and she seemed to be laughing and crying at the same time.

"What exactly is it about my sex life that creates a black hole around it?"

She burst into fresh tears and Logan grabbed her and threw his arms around her. She pushed her fists against his chest.

"Don't--" she cried but he only gripped her harder. She buried her face into his chest.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there, he clutching her sobbing, trembling body to him, but his shirt was soaked threw by the time she fell silent. Eventually she eased back away from him and started wiping her face with her sleeves.

"You really don't remember?" She whispered.

He shook his head.

"I--I kept having this fantasy. The entire summer. But that's all I thought it was." He ran his hands over his face. "It was the night my father was arrested?"

"What do you remember about that day?" She sniffed, trying to take a stab at being clinical rather then the emotional mess she had dissolved into.

"I remember the beach. I remember we broke up on the beach and then I went home and got wasted." He shook his head. "After that--I don't know. Bits and pieces of stuff I guess. The first clear thing after that was--your living room."

He started pacing, trying to put it all together.

"I was wondering how I got there and my head was killing me."

"Have you blacked out before?"

"Yeah, once I think." He mumbled, still trying to remember that day. "I saw your laptop on the table and I started reading." Veronica gasped but Logan continued. "You had already written what my dad had done to you the night before. Everything about the tapes, how he killed Lily, how he tried to--" He couldn't say it out loud. "Then I had to get out of there. I felt like the apartment had shrunk and I couldn't breathe any more. So I left and--"

"And never came back," Veronica said quietly.

"I thought you hated me, Veronica. After what he did to you how could you not?"

"Because you're not your father Logan!" She cried in frustration. "If you thought I hated you why did you think you were at my apartment?"

"I don't know. I never really thought about it. I certainly didn't think that we had---" He let the words fall into silence. He shook his fists in frustration. "You weren't there."

"I went to visit my dad and get some breakfast. I didn't think you would be awake for hours."

"And when you came back and I wasn't there?"

"I was worried," she said, rubbing her arms. "After the bridge I thought---"

"The bridge?"

"Weevil found you on the Coronado bridge. On the ledge."

Logan spat out some barely audible curse word.

"I thought," Veronica continued, "that you may have done something stupid. But then I found out you had taken off. Left town without a word and I started to think that maybe you had played me. That you were really still angry about everything I did to you and your father and that was your way of getting back at me."

"My goodbye present," he mumbled. "You said let's talk about your goodbye present. You weren't talking about the beach. You were talking about that night. You thought that night was a big "fuck you" before I left tracks out of town?"

"Both literally and figuratively."

Logan wanted to protest. He wanted to say that he would never do something like that. But he couldn't. It was exactly something he'd do, if he had been angry with her. If he didn't love her.

"So I left because I thought you hated me and you stayed here thinking I hated you?"

She nodded.

"Well isn't that just the stuff of Greek tragedy." He wiped his eyes where a few mutinous tears had actually leaked out. "And a baby." The words made him feel strangely better. He tried to keep his voice light. He didn't want to sound in any way accusatory. "Veronica, I take condoms to church."

"I had almost died that night Logan. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. And you obviously weren't and your wallet fell off the end table and I--" she trailed off. She sounded lame even to herself. "We were stupid."

Logan nodded. Something was swelling in his chest. A baby. They were seventeen. They were in high school. And yet, he and Veronica made it and there was something hopeful about that.

"How did you find out?" Veronica asked. "About the baby?"

"I followed you to the hospital." He chuckled at the way her eyes got bigger. "Yeah, the great Veronica Mars, trailed by an amateur." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Can you imagine what kind of parents we are going to make?"

He watched as all the blood drained out of her face.

"Oh Logan….."

He grabbed her because she looked like she was going to faint.

"What?"

Her eyes filled with tears again.

"Logan," she took a deep, shuddering breath. "The blood tests weren't to monitor my pregnancy. They were to monitor my miscarriage."

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Author's note: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for everyone's positive reviews of the last chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. But don't worry Veronica & Logan still have some more to talk about.