Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the television show Charmed. All characters belong to Spelling Television, and The WB.

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The Pain of Future Wrongs – Chapter 54

Ryan sat on Chris' bed, staring at the photo that he held in his hands. His eyes glistened with tears as he remembered all the good times that he had shared with Chris. It surprised him that he still had any tears left to shed, given that he had been crying almost non-stop for the past few days.

Ryan could hear his mother crying in the next room and hearing her just made him want to cry some more. He looked up to see Wyatt walk into the room. He should have been mad at Wyatt. After all, if Wyatt hadn't pushed Chris so hard, this wouldn't have happened. But at the same time, Wyatt was all Ryan had left. Seeing the remorse and grief in his oldest brother's eyes softened any resentment that Ryan had felt.

"I'm sorry, Ryan..." Wyatt apologized for the thousandth time. No matter how many times Wyatt said it, none of it seemed enough. None of his words, none of his tears would bring Chris back.

Only looking back did Wyatt realize how much anguish he had put Chris through. Melanie's letter opened Wyatt's eyes. For the first time, he understood how big of a sacrifice Chris had made, letting go of the woman that he loved in order to remain loyal to him. He remembered Chris' face at the funeral home when he openly disowned him. It was as if he had killed a part of Chris. And now...Chris was gone. He had been given a second chance with Chris...and he still messed up.

What good was it that he was the Twice Blessed One? He couldn't even take care of his own brother. He couldn't even see how much his brother loved him. He was so blind and so stupid, and the price to pay for his ignorance was so high.

Wyatt felt Ryan wrap him in a hug. He didn't know why Ryan wasn't angry with him, but he figured that was because Ryan had Chris' forgiving quality. Everywhere Wyatt looked, there were memories of Chris. All of these memories made the pain that much more unbearable. His parents and his aunts were taking everything extremely hard and it broke Wyatt's heart to know that he was the cause of it.

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For the second time in a month, the Halliwell family gathered to mourn. The memorial service for Chris was all the more difficult because unlike Melanie's case, they couldn't even locate Chris' body. And both Wyatt and Ryan were continually tormented by the sheer horrific feeling of their brotherly bonds being severed. It was truly one of the most terrifying experiences that either Halliwell brother had ever faced.

The memorial service was a private affair and the family pulled closer together to draw on each other's strength. Death and tragedy were so frequent and so common in the Halliwell family that Wyatt often marveled at how they managed to continue carrying on day after day. But Wyatt didn't know if things would ever be the same for him and Ryan. They had never really told Chris, but he was their rock and their strength. They relied on Chris more than the middle Halliwell would ever know. Without him, they were lost.

Ryan knew that time would eventually pass and the wound would heal. But the healing would never be complete. Things would never be the same. Their family would never be the same...

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Two months later...

"Mom, I'm home!" Ryan called out as he dropped his bag by the stairs. Piper would have a fit if she saw the bag laying there but he was too tired to take it to his room. In the past month, Wyatt and Ryan had gotten closer than ever before. Both brothers pulled together, knowing that they needed to rely on each other to get past the loss of Chris.

Wyatt became super-protective of Ryan, beginning to even rival Chris' obsession with keeping Ryan safe. Wyatt took it as a personal crusade to make sure Ryan was happy and safe at all times. No matter what happened, no one could ever fill the void that Chris had left, but Wyatt's love for Ryan made it easier for the youngest Halliwell to cope.

One of the brothers' latest hobby was squash. They both took up the sport in the last month and found it to be a wonderful way to release pent up anger and frustration. Now, Wyatt and Ryan play squash every other day, using this brotherly bonding time as part of their healing process.

Piper came out from the kitchen to meet her baby boy. "Hi Ryan. Where's Wyatt?"

"He's picking up some groceries. He should be back in a bit." At the very same moment, the front door opened again and Wyatt entered holding several bags.

"You two boys really need to take a shower," Piper remarked with a frown. "But there's a man who's looking for you, Ryan. He's waiting in the parlour."

Ryan arched his eyebrows in confusion in an expression that reminded Piper of Chris. "Me? Who is it?"

"Well, you'll find out as soon as you go meet the man," Wyatt teased.

The two young Halliwells walked into the parlour and was greeted by a middle-aged man in a suit. Everyone took a seat and Piper joined them as well.

The man looked at Ryan and smiled. "So you must be Ryan."

"Yeah..." Ryan answered hesitantly. "I hate to be rude, but am I supposed to know you?"

The man laughed and shook his head. "No, I don't expect that you would know me. I'm actually here to deliver some paperwork to you, Ryan."

"Okay..." Ryan said, still not knowing what was going on.

The man opened his briefcase and took out a manila envelope. Opening it, he took out a thin stack of paper. Everyone in the room looked on curiously while Paige and Phoebe quietly joined the gathering.

"As per instructions left to me by Mr. Christopher Halliwell, I will now deliver to you a cheque in the amount of $60,000. The condition for using these funds is that you, Ryan, must use this money towards your college tuition."

Everyone sat their in shock, none more so than Ryan. Immediately, his mind flashed back to a conversation many months ago...

Flashback begins

"So what's with all the books?" Chris asked, gesturing to the mess that Ryan was quickly creating in the parlour.

"School," Ryan answered in between bites of salad.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Well, since we're going to be staying here in the past for quite some time, I figured that it would make sense for me to go back to school."

"Sounds like a plan. So anything in mind yet?"

"I'm planning on staying in the city, obviously. Their business program sounds really good."

"Then you should definitely go for it, Ryan," Chris answered as he took a bite of salad. He looked up to see Ryan with a worried expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking, that's all."

Chris chuckled softly. "Ryan Halliwell, you do realize that you're trying to lie to my face, right? And you do realize that I can read you like a book with 99 percent accuracy, right?"

Ryan smiled a bit at the comment, knowing that Chris was right. "I'm just worried about the tuition, I guess. It's $20,000 a year and I don't want to burden Mom with it. But I'll think of something...I just have to work it out slowly."

"Well, I agree that you shouldn't worry Mom with it. She has enough on her plate now," Chris replied. "But I don't think it's your job to worry about it either."

Ryan gave Chris a confused look, not really understanding what he was getting at. "Well, the money isn't going to fall from the skies, so don't you think I should at least start planning for this?"

Chris looked at Ryan with a serious expression. "Ryan, you sure you want to do this, right? I mean, going to college, studying business."

"Well, yeah...that was always my goal until Wyatt...you know..." he trailed off, not really wanted to bring up the bad memories.

"Fair enough. Then you just worry about your studies. I'll take care of the tuition part."

"No, Chris. I'm not going to burden you with this. Like you said, you have enough worries of your own."

"Hey, aren't older brothers supposed to pamper and spoil their baby brothers?" Chris asked. "Don't worry about it, okay? It's my job to worry. It's my natural talent, remember?"

"Chris," Ryan protested. "You've already given up enough for me..."

"There's no such thing as giving up enough when it comes to family, Ryan," Chris answered, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Flashback ends

"Where...how..." Ryan muttered, still trying to process the information.

"Mr. Halliwell had instructed that this be given to you..." the man continued.

"You've seen Chris?!" Wyatt exclaimed with hope, hoping against all odds that perhaps Chris was alive or at least they could locate his body. "Where is he? When did you see him?"

"I'm afraid I can't help you," the man answered regrettably. I was given instructions to keep this file as long as I received a monthly written confirmation from Mr. Halliwell. The agreement was that as long as I received a confirmation at the beginning of each month, I would continue to hold on to the file. However, I stopped receiving confirmations two months ago. I decided to wait another month and when I still did not receive a confirmation, I decided that it was time to forward the funds to you."

Piper closed her eyes and tried to keep her tears from falling. It had been several months but every mention of Chris' name brought back the grief and anguish that never seemed to go away. Phoebe sat down beside Piper and hugged her. Ryan took the cheque and just stared at it, knowing that the man's words just reaffirmed his greatest fear...that Chris was gone.

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The bright sunshine beat down on the pavement. The campus was full of students roaming the spacious grounds in between classes.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Sarah asked.

"There's a huge party going on at Mike's. I think I'll drop by for a while," Michelle answered.

"You're just going 'cause you have the hots for him."

"Hey, Mike is cute. He's one of the most popular guys on campus and he just looks so hot..."

"Yeah, Mike's cute. Not really my type though..."

"You're just saying that 'cause you can't have him," Michelle answered with a laugh.

"In your dreams! I prefer the less preppy types. You know...like Jason."

"Jason as in the new guy? As in Jason Mysterious?"

"Stop calling him that! His name is Jason Perris, not Jason Mysterious."

"It's just a nickname! Come on, you have to admit he's rather mysterious. No one knows much about him."

"He's just the quiet type, that's all. Not everyone likes broadcasting their life to the public, you know."

"Looks like someone has the hots for Jason..."

"Yeah, whatever!"

"Oh, looks like the men of our conversation are heading this way now!"

"So?"

"Why don't you ask him to the party?"

"Can't you see he's with his friends now? I'm not just going to walk up and make a fool of myself. Plus, he's not even into the party scene."

"And how would you know that?" Michelle asked before her eyes widened. "You've been doing your research on Mr. Mysterious, haven't you?"

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"So, Jase, you coming to the party tonight?" Mike asked with a smile.

Jason smiled and shook his head. "Nah, I've got a ton of things to do tonight..."

"Oh come on, it's Friday," Nick laughed. "You have to live a little, man. Forget hitting the books for one night."

Mike laughed at the comment. "Nick, you should know by now that Jason doesn't hit the books. He doesn't need to. I mean, why read the text when you can get straight As even without opening the textbook. This guy's a genius, remember?"

Jason rolled his eyes at the comment. Mike always had a tendency to exaggerate and sensationalize everything.

"So then what's the problem? No studying means time to party!" Nick responded happily.

"Look, I really can't. I'm heading down to the orphanage..."

"Again?!" Nick exclaimed. "You were just there last week! Why do you spend so much time there anyways? It's not like you're an orphan or anything!"

Jason's eyes clouded over and his smile waned. Mike jabbed Nick in the ribs, glaring at him for making such a stupid comment. Mike was Jason's best friend and he knew that Jason didn't like talking about his family. Seeing Jason's change of mood, he decided to change the subject quickly.

"Why don't you at least drop by for a little while, Jase? Please??" Mike asked with a genuine smile. Mike was one of the most popular guys on campus and his father was a multi-millionaire. The truth was, though, that Jason was one of the first true friends that Mike had. Most of his other "friends" were either rich snobs or people who associated with him because of his money. From the first day that Jason showed up on campus, Mike had warmed up to him.

"Alright...I'll drop by after....just for a while, okay?"

"Awesome," Mike said with a huge grin. "I'll see you then, okay?"

Jason gave the thumbs up and soon the group parted ways.

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"Hey, what's the matter, little buddy?" Jason asked the young boy who sat sulking in the corner.

"My finger hurts..." the boy pouted, tears glistening in his eyes.

"Oh, let me see that." Taking his hands, Jason inspected the finger and then gave it a quick kiss. Minutes later, the boy was laughing happily as Jason tickled him on the floor. The room was filled with such laughter that it brightened up the mood for everyone else as well.

After the kids had gone to bed, Jason put on his coat and prepared to leave when a middle-aged lady called out to him.

"Jason..."

"Oh, Mrs. Winters. How have you been? I haven't seen you around in a while."

"It's been quite busy lately. Some days it's just absolutely crazy in here." Jason smiled sympathetically. "I just wanted to thank you for coming down and spending time with the kids here so often. They love you a lot and your visits really mean a lot to them."

"Not a problem at all. They are great kids...I have a great time with them myself."

"It's rare to see young people like yourself willing to give up so much time for children like them."

"I know what it's like to lose your family...so I totally understand how they feel," Jason answered with a tone of sadness.

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Jason put on a new outfit and checked himself in the mirror. He really wasn't into the party scene but since Mike had asked him to go, he would just show up to support his friend. As he grabbed his jacket, his eyes caught site of the photo sitting on his night table. He picked up the photo and ran his finger over the faces of each person in it. Sighing, he put the photo down and headed out the door, hoping that he could perhaps at least enjoy the party just a little...

- to be continued -