Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the television show Charmed. All characters belong to Spelling Television, and The WB.
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The Pain of Future Wrongs – Chapter 57
Jason/Chris looked at Mike with fear and dread, knowing that he was busted. "Uh..."
"What's the matter?" Mike asked. "Speechless?"
Chris knew there was no point in denying anything. He had no idea how Mike could have found out but he was pretty sure that his family had something to do with it. The thought of his family sent him further into despair. "You're right..." Chris answered, his voice so soft that it was barely audible.
"So basically...I've been friends with a fictitious person..." Mike replied, somewhat hesitantly.
"I'm sorry..." Chris apologized, feeling increasingly guilty. "I...I..." Chris shook his head and buried his face in his hands, completely defeated. "I'm sorry, Mike...I never meant to lie to you..." he finally said, before getting up and heading for the door.
"Wait, Jase...Chris..." Mike called out quickly.
Chris turned around, surprising and shocking Mike with the sight of tears streaming down his face. "What?" he asked, his voice cracking.
"I..." Now it was Mike's turn to be at a loss for words. "You don't have to go..."
Chris laughed bitterly through his tears. "Mike, you just said so yourself. You've been friends with a fictitious person. You were friends with Jason Perris and he doesn't exist..."
"Jason Perris is only a name," Mike argued. "Just because your name is Chris Halliwell and not Jason Perris doesn't change who you are."
"Things aren't that simple..." Chris retorted. "Jason Perris liked English class. Chris Halliwell hates it. Jason Perris played basketball...Chris Halliwell likes tennis...they are two different people, can't you see that?"
"I don't care about that!" Mike cried out. "Who cares if you like English class or history class? Or if you play basketball or tennis? That doesn't define who you are! It doesn't change that fact that you're the only person who has treated me genuinely."
"Genuine is not exactly a word you'd use to describe me...not after this anyways..." Chris answered, looking at the floor.
"I told you, Chris. I don't care...I'm not going to lose my friend just because his name turned out to be Chris and not Jason. I didn't ask you this because I was angry with you. I was just, I don't know...surprised and a little shocked," Mike explained. "I never meant to get you so upset."
Chris shook his head again. "I'm not who you think I am, Mike. You don't want to be close to someone like me..."
Mike wasn't thrilled with how Chris talked about himself, but he was persistent. "If you think I'll freak out to discover that you're a witch, I can tell you that I won't."
The young Halliwell stared at Mike like he had two heads. "What did you just say?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"Well, you are a witch, aren't you?"
"How...what...what have they told you?"
"We told him what he needed to know," Wyatt said as he emerged from the kitchen. "We had no other way of finding you."
Chris now shifted from being depressed to being enraged. "This was a set up?" he asked, casting an accusatory glare at Mike.
Now it was Mike's turn to look ashamed. "They...they were so desperate, Chris. Your Mom...she really loves you..."
Everyone else chose to make their entrance at that time. Chris felt the familiar sensation of being boxed in and he again felt like he was suffocating. "Just leave me alone...please..." he pleaded as he saw his family all around him.
"No," Piper answered defiantly. "I don't know what you were thinking, but for all this time, I thought my son was dead, only to find him alive and well again. Do you know how much it kills a mother to think that they child was dead?! Do you??"
Wyatt and Ryan looked at Piper in shock. Instead of the joy and relief that they had been expecting, Piper looked furious. Even more surprising was that everyone knew that Piper loved Chris to death and the sight of her yelling at Chris was shocking to say the least.
"I'm sorry..." Chris replied.
"You're sorry? That's all you have to say?"
Now it was Chris' turn to snap. "Well, I'm sorry if I hadn't called!" he spat bitterly. "After all, I just betrayed my brother by having an affair with his fiancée, lied to my family about it for months, got disowned by my brother in public, asked to leave my own house by my family, and caused the death of my brother's fiancée. So I'm sorry if I didn't feel like dropping by to say hi!!" Chris shouted, tears once again streaming down his face.
Mike looked on from the sideline, his expressions betraying his concerns. He was beginning to wonder if he did the right thing by bringing Chris' family here.
Chris' outburst jolted Piper back to reality as she realized that she was sending her son over the edge. Immediately, her motherly instincts took over and she moved forward to pull Chris into a hug. The younger Halliwell flinched and pulled away. "Don't touch me..." he whispered harshly.
"Chris...I'm sorry," Piper pleaded, wanting so much to hold her son in her arms again.
"Didn't you hear me? I'm killed your would-be daughter-in-law. Wyatt would have been a married man if it wasn't for me. So don't tell me that everything will be okay, because they won't. I'm a monster..."
Wyatt couldn't stand hearing his brother berate himself anymore. "This wasn't your fault, Chris. I know I said lots of things that were horribly wrong, but that was only because I didn't know the truth...I know none of this was your fault. If we had to find blame, it should be me who is to blame."
"Shut up!" Chris yelled. "Just shut up, okay? I don't want to hear all of your lies and sweet talk. None of this will bring Melanie back. None of this will change the fact that I betrayed you...She died because of me...You have every right to hate me...you should hate me..."
"Chris...you can't do this to yourself," Ryan spoke for the first time. "You have to get a grip...we need you. The family needs you. The world needs you."
"Just leave me alone, okay? Go back to San Francisco and just leave me alone!" Chris yelled.
"You can't just abandon your destiny like this," Wyatt argued as he became agitated by his brother's stubbornness. "You have a world to save, demons to vanquish...you always said that was the most important thing!"
"Well, I was wrong, okay?" Chris answered weakly. "I can't do this...I'm not good enough to save the world. I never was good enough and I never will be. Can't you see that? I'm just the son of a powerful witch and a Whitelighter. I'm not some saviour of the world. I thought that I could make a difference but I can't. I was just fooling myself all this time. Can't you see it? Chris Halliwell saving the world? That's a complete joke!!" With that, Chris turned to head towards the front door, ready to leave his family behind – again.
"That's it," Wyatt muttered under his breath. "I'm going to make you realize your destiny if it kills me...I'll just have to force you to use your powers again to make you see..." With Chris' back towards him, he used his recently-redeveloped telekinesis to throw Chris to the wall, confident that his brother would orb himself to safety.
Instead, Chris found himself crashing full impact against the wall and subsequently falling to the floor with a thud. His body cried out in pain and he felt like he just got run over by a truck.
Wyatt was on the verge of hyperventilating as he saw how his little plan backfired. That was not what he had intended to do. He was sure that Chris would have orbed out of the way. "Oh my god!" he cried out. "I...I'm so sorry...what have I done?"
Chris struggled to his feet, limping slightly as his family looked on in shock. Everyone had the same question as Wyatt – why didn't Chris orb?
Before anyone could ask the question, Ryan's eyes widened in dismay. His reaction caused everyone to turn their attention to him. "Oh my god..." he whispered.
"What is it?" Wyatt asked, not liking his youngest brother's reaction. "You're scaring me..."
Ryan just continued to stare at Chris, who tried his hardest to avoid the stares from his family. "The bond...the Book..."
"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!" Piper asked, getting increasingly agitated.
"Don't you get it?" Ryan asked Wyatt. "Chris...he broke the bond. And then the Book of Shadows started vanquishing demons. And now, Chris doesn't orb himself to safety..." Ryan paused to let the information sink in. "That's...that's because Chris stripped himself of his powers and they somehow transferred themselves to the Book of Shadows!"
At this, everyone's attention turned back to Chris. "What?" he whispered, feeling very uncomfortable under his family's scrutiny.
"Is that true?" Piper asked, dismayed that her son would take such a drastic action against his magical destiny.
"Just leave me alone," Chris said softly before pushing his way through everyone and running out the door, ignoring the pain shooting up his legs.
Mike, who had been silent up until now, stepped in front of the Halliwells, blocking them from chasing after Chris. He was now thoroughly convinced that he should never have led the Halliwells to Chris. Seeing Chris so upset really made Mike feel guilty. "I think all of you owe me an explanation. It's obvious that Chris wasn't thrilled to see you all. If you want to see him again, you better start right from the beginning. And I want the whole story this time."
- to be continued -