A Truth Within Lies
warnings: implied slash -.- (duh, it was in the movie) overtones of suicide (duh, it was in the movie;;;; )
description/author's note: This is something like a character portrait of Douzi from Farewell My Concubine. It's rather about his relationship with Xiaolou (pardon any name misspellings, I know next to nothing about Chinese), but not more than the movie itself was;;; Although I'm afraid I've not put in any of that gorgeous history that was in the movie; a point I regret;;;; Still, I hope you will give my story a chance, even though it's probably not worth much time, it's short and won't take much anyway ;D
disclaimer: I don't own Farewell My Concubine, or any characters contained therein, so please forgive my humble musings on the latter. Suing me won't get you anything either XP I have nothing!
And onto the writing, ne?
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He had a voice as sweet as flowers, like speaking through powder. It blew softly out of his mouth in a puff of smoke, and settled quietly to the ground like muffled shards of glass. His complexion smooth and pale, his steps quiet, yet sincere, as if on fields of eternal snow. Everything about him was glorified and elaborate, he wouldn't have it any other way, he didn't know any other way to have it. Even his thoughts flew in and out on silent wings of liquid ivory, flowing and elegant.
An excellent picture of that kind of overdone perfection. The sort you know can only be skin deep, a brilliant cloth skillfully placed over that old scarred side-table you would prefer your company not see. Yes, only a charade, a mask of elegant deception fooling even the pretender, shading their unstable nature, bringing it out of the light. Little do they know that emotions often hidden, grow their very best in darkness.
Sheltered in the back of the mind, the unnamed thoughts and shapeless emotions pulse and writhe and grow. At their birth they set to smolder a tiny spark to light the blackness. With time, they breed the smoke, and set fire to the soul. By then, of course, it's far too late, destiny's been set in gilded stone.
"Why does the concubine have to die?" his quiet voice utters softly from behind the door. A subtle bridge between now and then.
... Don't you know? You ordained it from the beginning. But it was not your fault alone. And yet it was, for you decide all things in your own world. Already, revenge has been granted twice over, and not without your approval-- yet still it goes on. It's been so long since you tucked away the truth in the folds of your dress. You still cannot forgive him, for you must first forgive yourself.
But how? With the sword of your devotion, hack away the fire of jealousy within your very being, until you discover how much it has eaten of your heart. In expression of your pain, you cannot scream selfishly, and instead fall silent in a death of simultaneous honour and shame. The ultimate climax is realization of a truth buried in patterned lies. A reality mistaken for naught but petty mimicry.
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author's note: Hmm... A bit short again, I always write short things. Anou... I hope I at least kind of captured a little bit of Douzi's character, as that was my aim. I hope at least someone enjoyed it? (Or maybe I should hope more fervently for someone to actually have READ it;;;;; (It sometimes seems like I'm the only person who watched this movie more than once, much less desired a fanfic after having read it...) If you DID read it, I will award you my undying gratitude if you review XD But you don't have to -.-