April I
By Timberwolf220
-The messages of love that mortals write-
-Filled with intoxication of delight-
-Written in April and before the May time-
-Shredded and flown, playthings for the wind's playtime-
—"The Genesis of Butterflies" by Victor Hugo
A/N: Stumbled across this poem during my French project (Victor Hugo is a French writer). A random recommendation of his would be the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No, I don't mean the saccharine Disney version, I mean the ACTUAL book. It's a beautiful, but extremely sad story.
On a happier note, the TyKa has progressed far as I see new prodigies showing up. Don't get yourself down and keep writing TyKa! Also, the TyKa in this little saga has grown too. Now, those two have a working relationship. Isn't that nice? But every relationship has its chinks and TyKa is no exception to that rule.
-XX-
Rei was becoming a problem.
At first, Kai found it hard to admit that, but the Chinese blader was slowly grinding his nerves into the dust and the most annoying thing is that Rei knew perfectly well what he was doing.
It started like this. Every moment they had training, Rei insisted he'd be paired with Tyson. At first, Kai dismissed as Rei's competitive streak. After all, they all wanted to be better than the Tyson, the current reigning champion of the Beyblade world. Even he wanted to blade Tyson to push his own limits, so he hadn't really considered Rei's requests and let him blade with Tyson.
But it was becoming such a repetitive thing that even Kenny complained that he wasn't listing out any new stats because Rei constantly bladed with Tyson. And Max, the most jovial and naïve of teammates has started sulking because no one seems to regard him as a prime beyblader anymore.
(A/N: Don't worry Maxie, you're still one of my favourites! –Huggles him-)
Their team was falling apart and it was Rei's fault. Kai really wanted to pound that neko-jin's head into the ground. Rei; ten feet under. That has a nice ring to it. Also, Rei was making it increasingly difficult for him and Tyson because every time Kai wanted some of his 'benefits', Rei would pop out from nowhere all daisy-like and drag Tyson away for another match.
And that, Kai thought to himself as he approached Rei's apartment, was the sole reason for him wanting to kill Rei. And he'll draw it out as painfully as possible.
"Who's ther—," Rei suddenly stopped short when he saw Kai and it seemed to him that Rei's face tightened and he looked sullen. Almost as if he didn't want to see Kai under any circumstances. Kai growled and tapped his feet against the floor, "Aren't you going to let me in?" He said smoothly, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course," Rei gritted out, "Come in," Kai restrained himself not to punch Rei's pretty face in with that tone of voice. What was Rei trying to be so antagonistic? It struck Kai suddenly that Rei has been acting like this since the Russian tournament.
"So," Rei said as Kai seated himself on Rei's coach which was oddly coloured. Mahogany, right? It seemed out of place in the room which was filled with soft light colours. The curtains were a soft pastel yellow and when they swayed with the breeze, the colour intermingled with the golden of the Sun's rays, "What does my esteemed captain want with me?"
Kai was not good with emotions and he knew it. But it didn't take a sensitive person to reveal the scathing undertone in Rei's question. Kai frowned at the complete lack of politeness (once again, completely unlike Rei. Maybe more things had changed than he thought they would) and reined himself in quietly.
"Why are you only blading with Tyson?" Kai asked him neutrally.
Rei's hands stiffened as they gripped his armchair. Rei pointedly looked out the window and Kai was again reminded of Tyson who would stare at the sky as if searching for the long lost secret of the answers.
"Answer the question Rei," Kai said flatly, "Now."
Rei turned away from the window slowly as if the power of the sky was holding his eyes in place. Unlike Tyson who could slide his gaze easily. The heavens held no power over him.
Kai shook his head mentally and tried to keep himself focused.
"Are you going to hurt him?"
Him? Again Kai found himself floundering in the question. Who was him? Kai blinked and stared at Rei in puzzlement. Rei let out a growl of frustration and his nails were pulling fluff from the armchair.
"You've done it before," Rei said suddenly getting up, "He doesn't need you to hurt him anymore. You didn't see him when—," Rei bit his lip as he had said too much and continued to look out the window, not wanting to look at Kai's face, "I won't see him cry again."
"Cry?" Suddenly Kai had an epiphany. Rei was talking about Tyson! Kai nearly hit himself in anger and at his own stupidity. Then Rei's words hit him hard enough to numb the feeling in his hands. Tyson cried.
"When?" Kai had never heard of this, nor had Tyson ever told him. There was that pang of guilt that always accompanied the feelings of the past. There was the hollow somber voice echoing in his head. He wondered how Tala and the others were managing with their new lives and whether they were able to discard their past as well. While Kai had Tyson to pull him out, did Tala and the others have anyone to help them out of their predicament and won't look at them as the Demolition Boys, the ruthless Russian bladers.
But to know that Tyson carried his own grief, grief that came with Kai's leaving.
It was more guilt than Kai wanted to bear and it was heavier than his past and his present put together.
"He cried," Rei continued blithely as he was talking about the weather. Kai would have thought that Rei felt indifferent about this if it hadn't been for the tight drawing of Rei's brows together and the visible pain within those blazoned eyes, "He cried for you. Do you have any idea what you did to us, what you did to him!" Now Rei's eyes burned more fiercely than any Sun and the venom in his voice stung Kai deeply, "And even after all that, he comes and lets you in like nothing ever happened! And even now, when you hold him in the palm of your hand, you never made one move to show him that you even cared in return! It's not fair, it's not fair that you let him hang like that because you're too scared to!"
Rei gasped as he struggled to regain his breath. Kai's face was white, whiter than any winter snow and his eyes were dark, deep crimson stained with black. When Rei caught his breath once more he noticed that Kai kept his head towards the ground. Rei sighed as he pushed his raven bangs off his face and said quietly, "I didn't mean it to come out that way."
"Don't deny it. You wouldn't have said it otherwise," Now it was Kai's voice to be bitter and Rei recoiled from the acidity of his sentence, "…I didn't know…I didn't know he cried…"
Rei's eyes widened in surprise as Kai continued, "Am I fooling myself? Do I really know him as well as I thought I did? Maybe…I shouldn't have…"
there are so many things we can say. so many words we can express. forgiveness is the hardest.
do I know you, Tyson Kinomiya? do I really know you?
"I'm sorry," Rei said quietly, "I…," Kai waved his hand sharply and cut him short. Rei fell silent, waiting for Kai to speak.
"I'm going," Kai said suddenly, standing up, "But I refuse to let you drag this team down because of your personal feelings. Is that clear Rei?" His eyes were bold, daring for Rei to contradict him.
Rei shook his head, "Understood,"
Kai gave him a curt nod and strode out of the apartment. Rei winced when Kai slammed the door and said quietly to himself, "I messed it up big time, didn't I Tyson?"
Kai fled from Rei's apartment as if he was scared he might catch a virus from the apartment block.
"Do you have any idea what it did to us? What you did to him!"
He did and sometimes he was reminded of that all too clearly in his dreams when his teammates would turn his back on him like he himself had done. And Tyson would be shaking his head sadly saying, "I believed in you Kai."
When he woke up, he didn't remember what felt worse; the fact that Tyson was sad because of him or the fact that he used past tense on the word, 'believed'. Those dreams seemed to drench his skin in a cold sweat he was unused to.
"And even after all that, he comes and lets you in like nothing ever happened!"
He wondered whether Rei was blaming Tyson for his foolhardiness or Kai for his presumptions that his teammates would actually take him back after all that. Perhaps it was a little of both. He kept running, running away, always running away. Nothing would ever change that, nothing would ever change that all he ever brought to others was grief and pain. There was always pain and how, how, how could Tyson ever believe that Kai could bring him happiness?
"And even now, when you hold him in the palm of your hand, you never made one move to show him that you even cared in return!"
I did care, Kai realized suddenly, I do care for Tyson. More than I ever thought I could. And he loves me. I know he loves me. Why else would he serve me with that whole-hearted devotion? Why else would he forgive my sins? Tyson's no messiah, just a boy in love with a fool. A stupid, stupid fool who could never see past the headlights. How could you have fallen for such an idiot Tyson?
Were those his words? …or Rei's?
"It's not fair; it's not fair that you let him hang like that because you're too scared to!"
Kai stopped trying to regain his escaped breath. He was few blocks away from Rei's house, the apartment complex not even within his view anymore. The street in which he was on was crowded and he felt the press of people around him. The voices seemed to twitter around him like birds, except no so melodious and Kai felt the urge to sink into the pavement and hope the world swallows him whole.
is that all I bring Tyson?
…grief. pain. sorrow. tears.
i made you cry, didn't I?
A slight hacking sob left his throat and Kai felt disgusted with himself. The way he was lowering himself, for his rival. Tyson's face came swimming into his view and he felt his lips twist into a cruel smirk. Was it worth it, Tyson?
He began to walk down to Tyson's house. His head felt clear and his heart heavy as if it was filled with lead. Kai ignored the murmuring in his head and there was a voice that said, 'This is a bad idea'.
Tyson was in the back, sweeping the last of the leaves into a corner. His beyblade was poking out of his pocket and Kai realized that Tyson looked out of place sweeping the back yard with a broom. His place is by the stadium, Kai noted with some pleasure, not here in some dojo. Yet, here Tyson still was, sweeping the leaves in the back yard, tending the dojo.
Kai felt like he was breaking. As if he was a puzzle that was just completed and then the pieces were separated once more.
i just wanted…someone to save me…to pull me out….
…is that too much to ask?
"Kai?" Tyson dropped his broom and immediately came up to him. He put his hands on Kai's face, cold hands, when did Tyson's hands turn so cold? Like chips of ice from forgotten glaciers up north. Tyson's eyes held a faint trace of awe as his hand came back wet.
"…You're crying," Tyson's voice was choked. Strange, it sounded like Kai's voice, cracked and broken. Just too many puzzle pieces to put together, "…how?"
Kai didn't answer. He put his hand over Tyson's cold hand on his cheek and pressed it tightly. Unable to say the words, unable to show what Tyson needed, unable to do anything. Bound by shackles that have long ago been removed, yet he feels the weight of them on his wrists.
More tears slide from his eyes as Kai clutched Tyson tightly, the saline moving down to stain his neck. Tyson said nothing, letting Kai clench him and hold him like he was the only star in the universe. Slowly they sank down to the ground. And not a word was spoken except for Kai's muted sobs and Tyson's quiet acceptance.
XX-
Rei bit his lip as he watched people walk in and out of the apartment complex. He promised himself that he wouldn't break. He knew what was going to happen. He was a rational soul. He knew the consequences, understood the end better than he thought he would. He knew that he never had a chance.
Death, Rei thought, death of an idea, of a dream I've been harboring ever since I've joined this team. Simply because…
"Why?" Rei asked, "Why did you come all this way for me?"
"Don't ask stupid questions," Tyson said, "Why wouldn't I come all this way to get you?"
Just like Kai, Rei thought smiling, though the smile seemed taunt and fake, Tyson pulled me out of my own perpetual nightmare. But I had others to look for me, to look out for me. Kai has no one else but Tyson.
And I…wanted no one but Tyson.
Rei drew the curtains to his window as he sank to the floor and cried for all his worth.
And even now….I couldn't even help him in return.
Not even once…
-XX-
A/N: I know, it's a sort of evil cliffhanger, one of my many favourite plot devices which reviewers don't like. Only five more chapters left! Demo, I need to work on my other stuff after that. But, I guarantee that I'll probably come back with another story like this one. This has been one of my most popular stories to date.
-Pain to ourselves-
-Is hard to bear-
-But pain to others is worse-
—Author's Observations
Yazzy: Good work on your story (and exam). Boris does seem perverted ne?
xXx Angel VxXx: Tyka goodness all around. Isn't it great?
Kaay-chan: It isn't you. Gosh, you guys are geniuses? How do you guess the plot so easily?
Queen Phoenix: It is a rather boring title…but I guess the TyKa remedied that. Thank you for reviewing my Harry Potter one-shot!
Hiyami: Well, the uke-seme thing could use a twist. Tyson taking control of the relationship and Kai being less emotionally secure. It makes sense actually considering that Kai flips out over emotional things more than Tyson. I really wish I could write Sanzo/Goku…(sighs) I really do.
Luvyagal: Okay…want me to recommend someone for psychiatric help? I didn't realize this story was that addicting…it makes me feel rather proud of myself…
Kerichi: Wow, you're another genius! Don't worry, someone told me once common sense is overrated, so if I ever find the source, I'll be sure to trash it. Or give you some at least. Yes, there is the Rei factor, but that makes things more enjoyable, ne?
1nfid3lity: I'm glad it seemed powerful to you. It means I am improving.
FireieGurl: Here's your update. Not too late I hope.
Yukiko-Angel: Another genius in our midst!
Yami FireKali: Kali-chan! You reviewed again. I must have pleased the Merciful Goddess big time! Oh, and I have a manga picture of Sanzo's butt when he was in the shower! God, I nearly fainted! Thank you Sanzo-sama
Sanzo: Die. Just die.
For that butt Sanzo-sama, I'm ready and willing.
Minako Mikoto: Kai likes exerting his superiority over everyone. Ne, Kai?
JadesRose: Whoops. (sighs) Where's spell-check when you need it?
Hanishi: More you shall have!
Lady Kirei: No need to bow. After all, commoners need to bow for ladies, right? But that was a very sweet review and I am deeply touched. So, my hats off to you for that high esteem you seem to hold of me and I shall not be one to disappoint. (bows)