Chapter Three

Questions And Answers

Hermione closed the bedroom door; she could hear the soft regular sounds of breathing coming from within. She stood there for a moment, taking a steadying breath, hand upon the doorframe, and eyes closed. What was he doing here? What did he want? Hermione looked down the short hall to the living room with a bit of apprehension, dread, and excitement. What was he doing here? He had been gone so long, what was he doing back all of the sudden?

Hermione snorted angrily at herself as she realized she was trying to brush down her hair. She looked down at the faded night robes she was wearing, spotting threadbare spots and old stains, and sighed. She had not been expecting visitors, especially not him. Again she snorted angrily as the thought of changing her robes crossed her mind. What was she doing? This was her home. Why was she acting like a brainless fool? Shaking her head, Hermione took another steadying breath and walked back into the living room. This was her home and she would not act the foolish girl for no one.

She paused before entering the living room, watching as Harry sat sprawled in one of her chairs, booted feet upon a footstool and eyes closed. For a moment he looked tired and hurt. What had he been up to in the last five years? How had he changed? How…

What was he doing here? She cleared her throat walking into the living room, her strides determined.

Harry looked as she approached, the same easy grin appearing. Hermione frowned slightly as she took it in. No it was not the same easy grin he'd had as a boy. No this was different. The realization struck Hermione hard, suddenly feeling a wave of sadness for the boy she once loved. The grin that graced his face now held no mirth, no happiness, and no joy. It was a fake expression pasted on his face.

"Nice kid you got there." Harry said as she settled down in a chair across from him. She noticed that he had put his coat upon the coat rack and his clothes had been dried. Well, that was a start.

Hermione nodded slowly at his words. Nice kid? There was no time to beat around the bush. Hermione looked at the clock upon the mantle, she was tired and the hour was late. "Her name is Emily and she's half yours." She replied.

Harry grinned again. Again, that mockery of a smile. "I know." He replied softly.

Of course he would. Just because she hadn't seen him in five years didn't mean he didn't know what she was up to. How else would he have found her home? Why else was he not surprise to see Emily enter the room? A momentary sense of outrage and anger flashed through her, Harry must have seen it on her face because he smiled, this time it held a trace of mirth. So, it humored him to see her angry?

"How have you been, Hermione?" Harry asked.

Hermione snorted. "As well as a single mother can be." She replied, weariness in her voice. She was not about to play games, he came here for something and she didn't want to spend half the night playing a guessing game to find out what it was.

Harry let out a harsh bark of laughter. "You really know how to cut to the bone, don't you?"

"And you really know how to abandon those that love you the most when they need you the most." Hermione snapped, five years of anger and frustration came roaring back. What was he doing her in house? She should have left him bleeding upon her stoop. She didn't need this, she didn't need his returning, the conflicting emotions, the half answers that were getting nowhere.

Harry flinched at her anger. "I'm sorry." He began.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Abandoning Emily and me? Your five years of absence with out a word as to how you are doing?" Hermione clenched a fist and quivered with pent up anger. "Sadly I can understand your leaving. I can understand you not wanting to see me, but Emily? Why have you not seen her? Never once in the last five years have you tried seeing her. Not one damned letter, not one damned note, or message. Nothing!"

"What we do hear is through third hand sources. You came back to London for a week, you're in Spain, you're in America. That's all we've every heard."

"I figured it was all for the best. We didn't exactly part on good terms." Harry replied.

"Good terms? As I remember you didn't say a damn word about your leaving to me or anyone else. Do you know the pain and the terror I went through those first two days you were missing? Did you even think to tell me? Did it even cross your mind?" Hermione snarled.

Harry bowed his head and sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing his face. "It was for the best. As you see nothing has happened to you in the last five years I've been gone. You look to be doing well, the kid is growing up nicely, and none of the shit that follows me around has attacked you and her yet." Harry nodded to himself. "It was the best that I could offer you."

Hermione closed her eyes. "What makes you think that you know what's best? Did you not think that Emily growing up to know her father would have been best? Did you not think that staying would have been best? You said you were done with it all and I believed you. You said we'd build a new life. And I believed you!" Hermione felt tears on her face and she quickly wiped it away. Now was not the time to cry. She would not let him see how much pain he had caused her, how much agony.

Harry's face was pale and drawn. His eyes locked to the rugs upon the floor and his shoulders slumped. "I…"

"What do you want?" Hermione demanded, cutting him off. "Why are you here?"

Harry hesitated, looking down at his hands. "I...I don't know. I slagged that bastard the Grim Lord and I suddenly felt like it was time to come back. To see you again. Not to pick up where I left, but just to see and talk to you again. Damn, but I've missed you Hermione." Harry said.

Hermione closed her eyes, trying to hold back the wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. She gripped the sides of her chair tightly and opened her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Five years you've been gone and now you expect a hearty welcome from me?" Hermione said. "You expect all to be forgiven?"

Harry shook his head. "I never expected to come back anyway. As cruel as it sounds this part of my life is over. All the best memories I have are from the times we were together. What we had was doomed from the beginning. It's just...our worlds don't overlap."

"That's the reason you came up with? Five years you had to think of this moment and all you could come up with is that our worlds don't overlap?"

"Think about it Hermione. You were always the bright one, the one with all the answers. You think what we had could have lasted, you think you could have withstood all the shit that came flying my way? All those little bastards who wanted to make a name for themselves as the one who killed the man who killed Voldemort. Our life could have never worked out. The best thing I could do for any of those that I loved was to leave them, to forget about them. That way those that followed after me, those that wanted a name for themselves, wouldn't come looking for any of you to cause me pain."

Hermione was quiet. "Then why are you here now?" She asked.

Harry sighed. "I don't know. It's just a feeling and a whim. You learn to trust your instincts in my line of work, and all my instincts were screaming for me to come back to you. To say hello and maybe good bye."

"Good bye?"

Harry shrugged, staring at the carpeted floor. "I don't know. Maybe my time's up. It just feels like something important is going to happen and I need to be here."

Again Hermione was quiet. "Is it going to be something bad?" She asked.

Harry shrugged again. "I don't know. Probably. As you know bad shit follows me." He said.

"Maybe you're just pulled into places where 'bad shit' happens. You're pulled there to make things right." Hermione said.

Harry laughed. "Yeah. That sounds a lot better than endangering those that you love."

"Are we in danger?" Hermione asked, fear beginning to course through her, but that was pushed away by another emotion. Love? Did he just say he still loved her?.

Harry shrugged again. "I don't know. I just know something's gonna happen and here's where I need to be."

Hermione nodded, suddenly feeling exhaustion tugging at her. "It's getting late. I don't know about you, but raising a four year old's a full time job and I need all the sleep I can get." She said, rising to her feet. She looked at Harry for a moment. "You can spend the night if you want."

Harry smiled, this time a genuine smile. Hermione was glad to see it. Not everything had been scoured away.. "Thanks. It beats apparating back to London." He said.

"That's where you've been staying?' Hermione asked. She felt a wave of irritation. She also worked in London. Had they been only miles apart for all these years?

"That and any place I can crash. I'm a transient. My job doesn't afford me the pleasure of putting down roots." He said.

Hermione nodded. "I guess your job is your life." She replied

Harry sighed, for a moment he looked utterly sad and exhausted. "It's always been. My life is my job and my job is my life. They've never been separate. You know that and I know that."

Hermione looked away, feeling tears in her eyes. "Good night, Harry." She said, walking to her room. "Sweet dreams."