Chapter Four:- "The rules of the roost"
Ron stared around him with wide eyes and mouth agape as they entered the pub, his eyes assaulted by a mass of white and blue.
"Bloody hell, do all muggles have to wear the same colour at these places?" He asked Seamus after he finally managed to distinguish him from amidst the rest of the sea of white.
"It's the teams colour you prat! England wears white, France wears blue! Come on lets get a seat close to the screen". Laughed Seamus, indicating to Ron that they should find a seat among the other muggle fans that were packed in around the room. There was a mass of muggles sitting around benches and tables all wearing white and holding large mugs of a strange looking amber fluid. The muggles would break out into shouting and cheering or cursing on a whim, as they all watched the large screens which showed little men running around after a ball. Just like Harry had explained it.
"That's all they do? Kick the ball with their foot?" Ron asked Seamus, trying to be heard over the noise.
"How do they get the people in the screen anyway?"
"Ron, Ron, Ron" Fred shook his head in mock exasperation as he sat himself beside his younger brother.
"Der are so many tings that you must learn" He mocked, joining in with another roar of approval directed toward the game.
"What's the matter little brother? George and I couldn't help but notice you looked quite discombobulated when you stormed in and interrupted our experiments. Tell your loving brothers all about it and we will see what we can do to help. Can I offer you a sweet perhaps?".
Ron looked at the identical smirking faces before him with distrust. Previous experience had taught him that there was no point in discussing this sort of thing with his twin brothers.
"Get out of it" He growled, feigning interest in the game, trying very hard to ignore Fred's indignant exclamations. At the very least they should know better than to think he'd ever be a genie pig for one of their experiments….at least not willingly.
"I'm hurt. George did you ever imagine our youngest, our dearest, most cared for brother would treat us with such disrespect, such irreverence, such…."
"Would you stop being a prat" Demanded Ron in exasperation. "I just wanted to know, ya know, about….. muggle stuff". He decided risking his dignity and self respect which had pretty much already been shot this morning, might draw their attention away from experimenting on him. His ears were burning as Fred and George let out a howl of laughter, and Fred clapped him mirthfully on the back.
"Forget it"
"No little brother, forgive our heartless reaction. You came to us with a problem, and we would be most happy to teach you in the ways of being a muggle".
"Riiiiighht" Ron wondered if flight was a possibility at this time, because Fred and George were grinning at him in a way that was almost evil. Further waring bells went off in Ron's head as Fred winked at George, who got up and brought over a large berley football fan with a head of shaggy grey hair pulled back in a pony tail and a large jug of the amber ale many of the muggles were drinking in his hand.
"This is Joe" George smiled affectionately at the muggle.
"Joe is one of our favourite cough test subjects. Total muggle and avid football fan. Right Joe?". Joe responded with a laugh as he raised his drink to the twins.
"You not from around er' either mate? These two er' r from outta town too. Keep coming in er' and ask'en me to try their food. Not they I mind eh' mates".
"You test out your stuff on a muggle?" Ron gaped at his brothers his bad feeling growing worse when they got up, saying to Joe before leaving "Ron's knows nothing about the game of football Joe. He wants to learn all about it in detail! See if you can teach our innocent brother what football is all about".
George shook with laughter as he looked back at the horrified expression on Ron's face.
"What have we done? That man will teach him everything about the game right down to the length they grow the grass on the field".
"Well, it should satisfy Ron's curiosity about muggles for the next couple of years, and give him some knowledge to brag about to Harry and Hermione. Besides, with Ron and Seamus currently occupied we can use this time wisely to test the new prototype for the 'Chicken Chucka's'…..or should we call the 'Feathering Frenzy's?'. Anyway, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny know way better than to let us test this stuff on them. We need fresh meat…. No pun intended".
George shot a parting look at his brother who was currently being shown how to hold a mug in the air and shout "cheers" as England scored a goal. Fred caught his eye; "Will you quite worrying. You're getting almost careful in your old age George. We'll keep an eye on him, besides Joe is harmless".
"I've just never heard Ron come to us to ask for advice about muggle culture before".
"Hermione seems to have that effect on him" Laughed Fred. If Ron only knew that it was he that had left the book about muggle culture and history lying around for him to find… it would rein his reputation.
"Let Joe explain the game for a few minutes. Well try a couple of test subjects and then watch the rest of the game with him". George hid a smile, muttering softly something along the lines of 'whose the one getting soft?'………………