Chapter Six:
Disclaimer: The Outsiders belong to S.E. Hinton, not me. The song is "Gee, Officer Krupke," from West Side Story.
"Please, Officer, uh," Soda glanced at the officer's nametag. "Officer Krupke. Please, Officer Krupke, we didn't mean any harm."
Two-Bit grinned innocently. "Yeah, sir, we were just trying to have some fun."
Ponyboy nudged the nearest greaser. "What's going on?" he asked thickly through his cold. He sniffled, wishing he had thought to bring some Kleenex.
The greaser shrugged. "Who knows? The fuzz says they was 'disturbing the peace.'"
What, again? Ponyboy thought, rolling his eyes. He sneezed. "Bless you," said Johnny from his left.
"You two just have a nose for trouble, don't you?" The officer was saying to Two-Bit and Soda. "I caught you two for this before!"
"We were just trying our hand at gymnastics," Two-Bit said cheerfully. "I guess we got carried away," Soda added, grinning widely.
What's their problem? They're gonna get dragged off! Ponyboy thought. I mean, Two-Bit I can understand mouthing off to the fuzz, but SODA?
He sneezed again. If anything, his illness was getting worse. He certainly felt worse. He'd give anything for an aspirin. He sneezed, once, twice in a row.
And then the music started. Two-Bit spread his arms and started to sing.
-Two-Bit-
Dear
kindly Seargant Krupke
Ya gotta understand
It's just our
bringin' up-ke
That gets us outta hand
Our mothers all're
junkies
Our fathers all're drunks
Golly moses, naturally
we're punks
Then all the greasers in the crowd, minus a very bewildered Ponyboy, started to sing along.
-All-
Gee,
Officer Krupke
We're very upset
We never had the love that
every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're
misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
-Two-Bit-
There is good!
-All-
There is good
There is good
There is untapped good
Like inside the worst of us is good
-Krupke-
That's a touchin', good story!
-Two-Bit-
Lemme tell it to the world!
-Krupke-
Just tell it to
da judge!
-Two-Bit-
Dear kindly Judge Your Honor,
My
parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana,
They won't
give me a puff!
They didn't wanna have me,
But somehow I was
had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!
-Judge, who
is actually Sodapop-
Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a
square!
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst
scare!
It's just his neurosis
That oughta be curbed
He's
psychologically DISTURBED!
-Two-Bit-
I'm disturbed!
-All-
We're disturbed
We're disturbed
We're the
most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed!
-Judge/Soda-
Hear ye, hear ye
In the opinion of this
court,
This child is depraved
On account he ain't had a
normal home.
-Two-Bit-
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm
DEPRIVED!
-Judge/Soda-
Hits Riff
So take him to a
head shrinker
-Two-Bit-
My daddy beats my mommy
My
mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes
tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
-Head Shrinker,
who is actually Johnny-
Yes! Officer Krupke
He shouldn't be
here
This boy don't need a couch
He needs a useful career!
Society played him a terrible trick
And socialogically, he's
sick!
-Two-Bit-
I am SICK!
-All-
We are sick
We are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're
socialogically sick!
-Head Shrinker/Johnny-
In my opinion
this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile
delinquency is purely a social disease
-Two-Bit-
Hey! I
got a social disease!
-Head Shrinker/Johnny-
Hits Riff
So take him to a social worker-that way!
-Two-Bit-
Dear
kindly Social Worker
They tell me, "Get a job"
Like
be a soda jerker,
Which means I'd be a slob!
It's not I'm
anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a
jerk!
-Social Worker, who is really Tim Shepard-
Eek!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again!
This boy don't need a
job
He needs a year in the pen!
It ain't just a question of
misunderstood
Deep down inside him
He's no good!
-Two-Bit-
I'm no good!
-All-
We're no good
We're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!
The trouble is he's lazy!
The trouble is he drinks!
The trouble is he's crazy!
The trouble is he stinks!
The trouble is he's growing!
The trouble is he's grown!
-All-
Krupke, we've got troubles of our own!
Officer Krupke, we're down on our knees
-Two-Bit-
'Cause
no one wants a fella with a social disease!
-All-
Gee,
Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke,
KRUP
YOU!
The greasers dispersed. Two-Bit and Soda went right back to mouthing off at the Officer.
"Listen, boys, I'll let you off this time, since you were just goofing off," the Officer said. " I'm in a generous mood. But don't let me catch you again!"
Two-Bit and Soda made faces at the Officer's retreating back. "Sucker!" Two-Bit said under his breath.
Ponyboy wiped his nose with his sleeve. His head was still throbbing. "Now what, genius?" He asked scathingly. "We missed the sunset thanks to your antics."
It was true. The sun had set and the sky was darkening. Soda grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Pony. I reckon it's about time we got home anyway. If Darry finds out we went out with you again…"
They trailed home. Luckily, Darry wasn't home yet. Soda breathed a sigh of relief. Ponyboy swallowed half the bottle of aspirins.
"Whoa, Pony, lay off!" Johnny said, taking the bottle away from him. "I can't help it, Johnny, my head hurts like you wouldn't believe," Ponyboy protested.
"You should get some sleep," Soda insisted. "But I'm not tired!" Ponyboy whined. He was in a cranky mood.
"At least lie down," Soda said soothingly. Ponyboy obeyed, throwing his arm over his eyes to block out the light.
SLAM! Dally sauntered in, followed by an irate Darry. "Dally, for Pete's sake, could you at least try not to break down my door?"
"Nope," Dally said carelessly. Darry looked like he would like to sock him.
Two-Bit walked in from the kitchen, sipping beer. Darry gaped at him. "How did you get that? I don't keep beer in this house!"
"I know," Two-Bit said cheerfully. "I lifted some beer and brought it here to refrigerate."
Darry turned and stalked upstairs angrily. "NO respect! Not even in my own house!" he muttered angrily under his breath.
The front door slammed and Steve walked in. "Hey, Pepsi, ready for the movies?"
"Yeah. You gonna be okay with Darry, Pony?" Ponyboy gave him a feeble thumbs-up.
"Hey, Pony, why weren't you in school today?" Steve asked, trying to be civil for Soda's sake. He knew that Soda was torn between the two of them, but he couldn't help it. He just couldn't stand Ponyboy.
Ponyboy sneezed and coughed, feeling awful. "Oh," said Steve. "That's why."
"See you later, Pony," Soda said sympathetically. "Hey, Darry, we're leaving!" he hollered up the stairs.
"Uh, hey, Pony," Steve said, trying to make conversation. "I, uh, ran into your track coach today. He was pretty mad that you missed the track meet today-"
"WHAT!" Ponyboy sat up, yelling. Steve stepped back, shocked. "Oh, noooo," Ponyboy groaned, sinking back into the couch. "He'll kick me off the team. He'll have my head!"
He banged his head against the sofa. "What am I gonna DO?"
Arrgh! Writer's block strikes again. Read and review, I'll try to update soon. Again, the sooner you review, the sooner the next chapter comes up.