Ah!
My Lumbago! Revised Sequel Edition
(Never do too much
Homework)
'How to Lose Your Sanity in 10 days'
By
Lauren G. (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
Note: Kind of a spin-off
of The Ring...
"Gary! You're as pale as a Ghastly!"
Professor Oak told Gary as Gary walked in the house.
"Ahhhhhh!
Stay away!" Gary screamed and ran up to his room.
"I
wonder what happened to him." Delia said. Everyone looked at
Tracy.
"I didn't do anything!" He said.
"Honest!"
"Well. I better go check on him."
Professor Oak went upstairs. He knocked on Gary's door.
"Gary?"
Professor Oak asked. He opened the door. He just about fainted.
Gary's room was filled wall to wall with pictures of naked women.
"Gary? Are you okay?"
"10 days... 10
days before I go insane." Gary muttered, lying in a fetal
position on his bed.
"Um.... All right then. Dinner's in
15." He left the room.
Day 2
"Gary?" Ash
asked, knocking on his step-nephew's door. "Wanna have a Pokemon
match?
Misty has her period and doesn't want to make out."
"I
HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!" Misty screamed. She threw her shoe
upstairs and it hit Ash in the head.
"Ow!" He said.
He knocked on Gary's door.
"Hey Gary! Wanna have a
Pokemon match? Misty has her period and doesn't want to make
out."
"YOU JERKWAD!!!!" Misty threw her other
shoe up the stairs. It hit Ash in the head again.
"Ow!"
He said. He rubbed his head, then knocked on Gary's door.
"Hey
Gary! Wanna have a Pokemon match? Misty has her---" Ash couldn't
finish his second amnesia sentence because Misty had run up the
stairs and started to strangle him.
"DO YOU HAVE TO LET
THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW?"
"chokeNocough" Misty
let go of Ash.
"Ow!" He said. He rubbed at his neck
and knocked on Gary's door.
"Hey Gary! Wanna have a
Pokemon match? Misty doesn't want to make out." Gary opened his
door. Ash got a bloody nose and fainted on the ground at the sight of
Gary's room.
"Okay." Gary said. He dragged Ash down
the stairs and outside, leaving a trail of blood. Mrs. Ketchum-Oak
came out of the bathroom and saw the blood stains on the carpet.
"Oh
dear!" She went downstairs and into the kitchen where Misty was
devouring a box of Rice Krispie Treats really, when you gals have
your period, eat those!.
"Misty! If you needed a pad,
you could have asked." She told Misty.
"I do have a
pad." Misty said.
"Well, then who leaked upstairs?"
"Uh.... Pikachu?"
"Is he still looking
at his porn? I only thought teenage boys got bloody noses from that,
but I guess Pokemon do too." Mrs. Ketchum-Oak left to find
Mimie.
"Um... Pikachu! I choose you!" Ash yelled,
and threw Pikachu out onto the battlefield. Pikachu landed on his
butt. Pikachu flinched and stood up.
"Yo! Pokemon! I
choose you!" Gary said, tossing a random Pokemon out on the
field.
"Pikachu!" went the Pikachu Gary sent
out.
"I didn't know you had a Pikachu!" Ash
said.
"Yeah, so? I have all 450 Pokemon."
"But
there are only 350."
"Yeah. I know." Gary
picked at his nails.
"Um... Pikachu! Thunderbolt!"
Ash yelled at his Pikachu.
"Pikachu! Hooters attack!"
Gary told his Pikachu.
"What the hell is a Hooters
attack? Pikachu, do you know a Hooters attack?" Ash's Pikachu
shook his head. Suddenly, Gary's Pikachu flung itself at
Pikachu.
"Chaaaaaaaa!" Pikachu screamed as Gary's
Pikachu, apparently female, started humping Ash's Pikachu.
"I
thought we were past this." Ash said to the authors.
Shut
up! The soul purpose of Pokemon is STILL to be a hump
buddy
"sigh"
went Ash. "Pikachu! Thunder! What the!!!! NASTY!!!!!!" Ash
covered his eyes.
"Go
Pikachu!" Tracy yelled from the roof, where he was observing the
match.
Day 5
"Gary? I need you to baby sit Sam!"
Delia called to Gary through his door. There was no answer.
"Gary?
Did you hear me? I need you to baby sit Sam! I have to go the store
and Tracy and the Professor are on their way to Vermilion City to do
some check ups on the Pokemon at the PokeCenter and Brock is at work
and May has her hands full with the twins." Gary opened his
door.
"Okay." He said. Delia handed Sam to
Gary.
"Gary!" Sam cooed.
"And if you
tell him a story, tell him a nice one, okay?"
"Yeah...
Whatever." Gary said. Delia left the house. Gary went outside
with Sam. Ash was having Yoga with his Pokemon.
"Hi Gary!
Want to join us?"
"Hell no. Watch Sam. He is YOUR
brother." Gary left Sam with Ash.
"Well, okay! Lets
tell Sam a story!" Ash said to his Pokemon. His Pokemon
agreed.
"All right. Lets tell Sam the story about Pee Wee
Poke Camp! One time... At Pee Wee Poke camp...."
Day
8
"Gary?" Brock knocked on Gary's door. "You
want to have a Pokemon match?" Silence.
"Gary?"
Brock opened Gary's door. "HOLY!!!!!!!!!!!! JACKPOT!!!!!"
Brock yelled at the sight of the posters on Gary's wall.
"Nevermind!
Put a rain check on that Pokemon match! I have to sex my wife up
now!" Brock ran out of the house.
Day 10
Gary
locked his door and sat on his bed. Ever since he had to endure that
horrid evening with Tracy in the woods, he was paranoid he was going
to lose his sanity within 10 days. It was 11:57 pm, almost heading
onto day 11. At midnight, he would surely lose his sanity. 11:58. He
would never get to see his grandpa and his new grandma's new baby. Or
have that Pokemon match
with Brock. He would have had the match
on Day 9, but Brock was still screwing May. Still!!!!! 11:59. Maybe
he should say goodbye to Sam. 12:00 midnight..... 12:01.
"Wow!!!!
I'm not insane!!!!!!! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He picked up
his phone. He called Brock.
"Hey! Yo! Brockster! What's
up my bro-in-law with no eyes! What's shakin'?"
"My
bed! I'm still screwing your sister!"
"So... No
Pokemon match
now?"
"No!" Brock hung up on him.
"Damn-ness!"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Now I can tell Sam a story!" He
ran to Sam's room. Sam was sleeping. He woke him up.
"Yo,
Homie in training! I'm gonna tell you a story! Its about when I went
to Pimp Camp. So, here goes. This one time.... At Pimp
Camp....."
The next day, Gary was back to his normal
pimpy self. He whoopee cushioned five people, twice he did it to
Brock and May who were still screwing in their house next door to the
lab.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah!
My Lumbago 2!'
'Pixilated Pimpness'
