Down The Trap-Door

"Oh My God! Real – wait a second. Don't you mean the Sorcerers' Stone?" Total delight filled Devi's face, with a streak of question across it.

"Sorcerers' Stone, Philosophers' Stone, same diff!" I was incredulous about her total change in direction, from a huge adventure to a simple difference in wording.

Devi, as well as being impervious to my expression of total disgust, was skeptical in my discovery. "So how'd you figure?"

Try to avoid repeating the same word like this (unless you're trying to achieve some kind of poetic effect – but you're not here). It sounds better if you choose a different word with the same meaning.

"Well," I began, "this is the third floor, we're in a corridor, inside a door. Yes," I anticipated her question, "I know the door wasn't locked, but why would they keep it locked if there was no huge hungry three-headed dog in here? And here's a trap-door. Little suspicious, isn't it?"

"Why, you might be right!" The look of surprise on Devi's face was very annoying.

"I know I'm right. Now, what are we going to do about it?"

Once over her initial suspicion, Devi was ready to jump into any danger. Or any trap-door, for that matter.

"We're going to go in. What else would we do?" she grinned foolishly.

"Devi, it might be dangerous. I don't think that the Devil's Snare is down there, to cushion our fall." In contrast to my best friend, my enthusiasm came first and the longer I waited, the more I thought that going down there was a bad idea.

"Hang dangerous! You can cushion me! You did learn the Cushioning Charm, right?"

"Yes I did, but hold on." While Devi looked on, bouncing impatiently, I lowered my wand into the opening of the trap-door. As soon as the wand tip came to the same level as the opening, the hole started shimmering, a glittery, light blue gleam.

"Cool! Pretty, isn't it?" Devi was completely oblivious to what this light might mean.

"Attracted by shiny things, Dev?" This is a great line! It really shows us the truth about Devi as well as Sanya. Her blush answered me, and I continued. "Dev, this looks like a shield. If you go down there, I might not be able to bring you up."

"I can bring myself up, thank you very much!" My proud friend said, looking indignant. "So I'm going in, and you cushion me. If you don't, I will." And with that, Devi jumped into the blackness.

Time went into slow motion. I shot a blast of the Cushioning Charm towards Devi, she had just passed completely through the opening, and the blue shimmer acted as a shield and sent my pale pink ray of magic shooting to the ceiling, where it was absorbed.

"DEVI!" I yelled, panicked, "CUSHION YOURSELF! I CAN'T!" Out of desperation, I also directed several Summoning Charms (I had learned these early, because they were so useful) at Devi, but all of them were repelled by the light on the edge of the hole.

I heard a faint voice saying the Charm, and sighed with relief as, though the blue shield, I saw a pink cloud billow into existence. But it was too late, and even with the charm my friend hit the floor below with a sickening thud, crunch, and then a wail.

"Oooooooowwwwwww! Shit!"

Oh my God! I thought. Devi! I prepared myself to do a quick Cushion, and leaped into the gloom. Oh, the angst! You draw out the suspense well here.

As I passed the strange shield, I felt a strange, light resistance. I stored this information in the back of my head for later, as now wasn't the time for it.

Swiftly I aimed my wand at myself and uttered "Fluto!" It wasn't a very hardy spell, but with a few well-placed hand gestures I strengthened it.

I floated down to land next to Devi, who was in a very awkward position, and was still saying "Ow!" with a terribly pained look her face, though she was strong enough not to cry.

"Oh my God, Devi, are you okay? Did you break anything? Like your leg?" I added, after taking another look at the way she was sitting.

"Ow, shit, ow! Yes, my leg," She said between gasps.

"I don't know any spells for it, Dev, comma" I said while chewing my lip and trying not to panic.

"I do. I just can't – ouch – do them on myself. You'll have to learn, comma" she said as she rolled up her jeans. Remarkably, Devi had calmed down enough to stop swearing and tell me what to do.

"Good thing I've been doing that for the past year, comma" I joked, trying to lighten the situation. Then sobering, I said, "Okay, what's the spell?"

"There are variations on it. Fire, water, earth, and air. They work better with personalities that fit them. You're probably a water-cast person. If you could work a Warming spell after it, so my leg wouldn't be cold, that would be good. Okay, the incantation for water is utilis aqua carpo sano. Well researched – I love to read a convicing original spell! It's simple, really. Try it." I was amazed at how many words she could get out between gasps, swears, and "ow"s.

"Right. Any hand motions?" Hand motions always helped.

"Just a simple healing circle then the basic water swirl."

"Right. Okay, here it goes!" I raised my arm and started the healing circle motion and water spiral, and, on an intuition, I added the motions for solidity and warmth. "Utilis aqua carpo sano!" Quite a mouthful, but pretty easy.

Devi gasped as the spell hit her. Suddenly there was a thin layer of water around her leg. She gingerly touched it, and it seemed slightly rubbery, like as if it was were half solidified, but not frozen.

"What did you do? It's not like any we did." Since amazement overcame the pained look on her face, I guessed the magical cast had worked.

"I added the hand motions for solidity and warmth. Did it work? Is it better than usual? How did you learn this? Especially when you're only in fourth year?"

She laughed and raised her hands to stop the onslaught of questions. "L.O.L.! One at a time! Yes, it worked. Yes, it's better than usual. And in Salem we focus on healing, because of our past. I paid particular attention to these lessons, because I knew that I would hurt myself pretty often. Wow, those hand motions really worked. It's warm. I think I can walk now. I might not even need your help."

Sweet, comma I thought. I always knew those hand motions were good. I wonder how I knew to add those, though. Strange. "Let's go. I'm going to try to get out the trap-door. That shield is really strange."

I stood up and directed a couple of different destructive spells at the shield, but none worked. I tried a few other charms, but, as before, they didn't work.

"That's it, Dev, we're on our own. We can walk to the other side. There might be a way out. Come on, up you go."

Devi took the offered hand and slowly was raised to her feet. She tested her leg, first with walking, then she jumped on it. After the jump she winced slightly, and commented, "Walking's fine. I might not want to run or hop on it, though."

I laughed, and beckoned for her to follow me. "Hmm, kind of stands to reason, doesn't it? Not even the best make-shift cast would let you hop all the way through this passage. Come on, we've got to go." I tried not to let my fear show. I wasn't sure there was a way out, other than the trap-door. "Let's go."

And we walked slowly to the next chamber, side by side, hand in hand, like the best friends we were.

This is a lovely ending, very touching. And now I can't wait to find out what they'll discover in the next chamber. And is Devi going to be stranded at Hogwarts through missing her voyage home?

Grammar alert – someone at FictionAlley sent this to me and it's really very well expressed, so I've cut and pasted for you.

Commas are used to separate dialogue in a sentence. The 'he said/she said' part is not capitalized. For example: "Severus, you're making a mistake," said Lupin urgently.

When dialogue ends in a question mark, exclamation point or dash, the 'he said/she said' part is not capitalized. For example: "Arthur, the truth would terrify him!" said Mrs. Weasley shrilly.

When dialogue is continued, it generally follows this pattern: "The point is," Wood went on, resuming his pacing, "the Quidditch Cup should have had our name on it these last two years."

Sentences that follow dialogue directly, but are not part of the dialogue, are capitalized: "Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross..." He consulted Unfogging the Future.

Please also note that within dialogue, if you have a new speaker, it requires its own paragraph. The rule is: new speaker, new paragraph.