A/N: This chapter is kinda Angsty (I think that's the right term) lot's of inner character stuff. It's my first try at it so tell me what you think. The action should pick back up in the next chapter.

A/N: Continuing thanks to Lennexa for your words of encouragement.

John marched through Atlantis, looking for Caldwell. He had considered heading for the armory on his way, but thought better of it. His face was drawn into a tight mask, not allowing any emotion to show. Inside however, he was burning like all the fires of hell. It didn't bother him to think of it that way. The anger was a fuel, something he could use. He just hoped he had enough restraint not to use his anger against Caldwell.

He marched straight onto the Daedalus, not stopping to even show his ID. He pushed his way through the cramped halls, shoving crew members aside. He reached the bridge with minutes.

There was Caldwell, looking smug, sitting in his command chair like Captain Kirk. John approached him menacingly. "Colonel." He said coldly. "I need to talk to you, in private."

"Very well Colonel." Caldwell lead John back to his quarters. "Alright Colonel, what is it?"
"Who the hell do you think you are?" John yelled, glad the cabin door was closed.

"I beg your pardon Colonel."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." John paced back and forth, trying to bleed off the excess anger that was just beneath the surface.

"If your referring to Miss Emmagen, then yes, I do. I will not allow you to break the rules any time you please. The rules..."

"Clearly state that I can't have that with military officers or enlisted personnel. It says nothing about civilians."

"Miss Emmagen is a member of your team, is she not?"

"She is."

"Then that gives her military status. She joined your team."

"That doesn't make her military."

"In this case it does. I outrank you Colonel, despite the fact that you command the Atlantis military division, I'm still your superior officer and what I say goes."

"You still have to adhere to the regs... which I am still following."

"No your not. As Atlantis' commander, you need to have a clear head. Your judgment can't be clouded by emotional decisions. You know that."

"My judgment is as clear as it always has been."

"That means you're already well on your way to a court marshal. Your behavior here is enough grounds for you to be court marshaled as it is."

"We'll just have to see about that." Without requesting permission, John left Caldwell's cabin. His mind was racing, he needed to clear it. He needed to think. He had to decide.

He found himself in a jumper before long, skimming the surface of the oceans surrounding Atlantis. He didn't know why he'd hopped in a jumper, ignored the cries of Elizabeth and Bates, and taken off. He just needed some time to think. This was one place where he felt he could think.

He found Elizabeth's words playing over and over in his mind. There's only so much I can do to protect you. He didn't want her protection, he wanted to do his job, but with the woman he loved.

His hands were clenched tightly around the controls. He closed his eyes, trying to feel something. "I can't lose you Teyla." He said aloud, to no one. I can't lose you. I just can't.

Something snapped in him, something made everything so clear. He had a choice, he had always had a choice. He turned back to Atlantis. He knew what he had to do. He knew what he would do. There was only one thing he could do.

Teyla sat on her bed, her face buried in her crossed arms. She didn't know how to respond. All her strengths meant nothing when faced with the loss of John. She had been there since she had left the sparring room.

At the same time, she hated herself. Get a grip! She thought to herself. You're stronger than this. They were hollow, empty words. She couldn't find the will to raise her head. She didn't want to hurt John, but she didn't want to lose him either.

That seemed to be the only way out. The only way. There's got to be another way. There always is. That's what John's always taught me. She felt herself rambling about nothing. Again, she hit herself with a mental slap.

Her door opened, revealing John. He looked blank, nothing able to penetrate her composure. She forced herself to hold back the tears.

"Teyla." He said. "I know what I have to do."

Suddenly, her mind became clear. She knew what she had to do. He mattered more than she did. She pushed her feelings down to her stomach and lifted her head. "I know." She replied. "I know what I have to do as well."
He got on his knees in front of her. "Teyla, I love you more than I can say. I'm sacrificing my rank, for you." He held out his hand.

Teyla's feeling shot back into her head. He's willing to give it all up! I can't, I can't let him. "John, you can't."

"I'm not giving up Teyla. I love you."

She looked straight into his eyes. She could see the tears just barely held back. He knew what he was doing, all too well. It was a lose-lose situation, nobody could win. Either way, someone would feel guilty. "I can't... let you do this John."
"I don't need the rank to be on Atlantis, I've got the gene!" He said. "You're tied to me. I'm the one who's always fighting for you. I need you."

I need you. The words he had used not so long ago, revealing his deepest feelings. Revealing her deepest feelings. She took his hand in hers, starring into his eyes again. He was being torn apart inside. It was the John Sheppard that only Teyla had seen, the man who cared more than anyone would ever think, cared for her, cared for his team, cared for Atlantis. She pulled him into the fiercest embrace she'd ever given, the fiercest he'd ever received.

His hand wiped the tears from her face. "Are we agreed."

"Yes John." Teyla replied, she kissed him.

"No more hiding."

"No more." She kissed him again.

"No more lies, only truth." He kissed her in return.

Elizabeth sat in her office, alone. She liked it that way. She stifled a tear. Teyla's sobbing still burning in her mind. She hated herself for doing what she had done. She would always hate herself for it.

Aiden and Rodney entered her office, both with grave expression on their faces.

"Doctor, we need to talk." Aiden said.

She composed herself. "About John and Teyla."

"Yes mam. You can't let this happen."

"He's right." Rodney said. "I've never seen John so incredibly happy, or so incredibly depressed. I saw him leave the Daedalus. He was covering it well, but he was in pain." Rodney emphasized the word 'pain'.

"You don't have any idea how hard it was for me to confront them about it."
"Yet you did. Doesn't owing your life to John and Teyla multiple times mean to owe them something."

"The point is mam," Aiden continued. "I owe Colonel Sheppard and Teyla more than I can repay. If they go down, so do I."

"You'd better count me in that too." Rodney said reluctantly. "It not right Elizabeth, and you know it."

"I know." Elizabeth said faintly. "But what can I do about it?"

"Send the Daedalus home. We don't need it, not with three ZPMs to power the city."

"I can't just tell Colonel Caldwell to leave."

"With respect mam," Aiden said, "but can't you. You are the commander of Atlantis."

"We all owe Colonel Caldwell our lives, we can't just..."

"Sure," Rodney said. "we have to sit at every briefing and endure his 'the military says we should do it this way. The military says we should do it that way.' To be honest, he's been nothing but an ass since he got here."

"Request a new commander." Aiden suggested. "Say that Colonel Caldwell is becoming a source of considerable..." Aiden searched for the right word. "friction. Say that we need someone who is willing to work with us, not try and do our work for us."

"And what's to say that the new one commander won't be as bad as Caldwell." Elizabeth said.

"We don't." Rodney said. "But it will at least buy us some time, and hopefully we can deal with the new commander. It takes a month for the Daedalus to return to Earth and come back."

"Who's right about the regulations?"

"Colonel Sheppard is mam." Aiden replied. "Teyla is a civilian, there shouldn't be a problem with it. At least, that's what the Marines say about it. I don't think there's a difference for the Air Force."

"Thank you, you two. Now let me think."

Aiden and Rodney respectfully left, but they had made an impression.

The Genii jumper came out of hyperspace at the edge of the system, where the orbital defense gun used to reside. Inside, Koyla gripped the controls and headed for Atlantis.

"Are you sure this is wise?" The soldier next to him asked.

"Nothing is wise about this Aman." Koyla replied. "Atlantis will be difficult to capture."

"Wait, we're detecting another ship, docked with Atlantis."

"Is it Wraith?"

"No. It's something different, not like the Atlantian technology at all."

Koyla reached over and engaged the cloaking device. "There is no guarantee that the cloaking device will keep us hidden. Let's observe this ship for a while."

"We only have to more Ancient gene shots. We don't have long."

"Then let us hope for a miracle." He accelerated and raced for Atlantis.