'Last Moments'
Spike/Angel
Spoilers: Everything up until 'Not Fade Away'
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss Whedon
PG
Spike was quiet and still. In Angel's opinion, Spike was too quiet and still. He knew that Spike was never still, even when he slept. Angel remembered nights, from over a century ago, during which he had to physically restrain William by wrapping his larger frame around the smaller to keep the fledge from fidgeting incessantly. But now, a century later, they were both lying in the same bed, barely touching, and completely silent and still. The silence was starting to become uncomfortable, and Angel wondered how much longer Spike can keep his mouth shut. Apparently not much longer if the long suffering sigh was any indication.
"Look, mate, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I can think of a few other things to do with my last hours on earth than lying here and proving to each other that we really can play dead."
Spike said all this while staring at the ceiling. Angel turned his head to look at Spike's bored profile. Spike really did have amazing features. Delicate cheekbones that begged to be caressed or licked, long eyelashes that can flirt and allure with a simple blink revealing eyes so blue you could get lost in them, and of course the lips. From this angle, Angel can precisely measure just how pouty Spike's bottom lip can be. He had the sudden urge to take that succulent piece of flesh in his mouth.
The blonde vampire let out another long suffering sigh when he realized he wasn't getting a response from Angel. He was about to just say sod it all to the whole thing and leave to find someone else for a nice shag. Might not mean as much, not that Angel meant anything to him. Maybe Angelus did, but that was a long time ago. But anything will at least be more physically satisfying than this.
Spike was about to sit up and walk out when Angel's face appeared in front of him. Angel looked into the eyes of the vampire underneath him, not knowing what he was searching for. Before Spike could ask what Angel was doing, he felt strong lips on his own.
The kiss was slow and soft, something that surprised both of them. Angelus had never kissed William with any gentleness before; it had always been about lust and domination and so Spike was momentarily shocked by Angel's tenderness. The older vampire hadn't expected it to be like this. When he had looked at Spike's lips, he was overcome with a sudden burst of lust. Once his lips met Spike's, however, the emotions that washed over him made him slow down and just feel the kiss.
Angel slowly licked across Spike's bottom lip with his tongue, wanting the lips to part so he can taste his childe once again. Spike didn't disappoint, his lips opening without him even realizing it. Angel's tongue slipped inside, tentatively searching until it found Spike's. The connection and taste of each other made both of them groan, and the kiss quickly turned lustful and passionate from there.
Soon, they were tearing at each other's clothes, desperate for the sensation of contact. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Spike leaned back and ripped Angel's shirt off, causing buttons to fly everywhere, including one that hit Spike in the eye.
"Ow!" Spike yelled out while rubbing his eye irritatingly.
They looked at each other for a moment then burst out laughing at the unfortunate interruption. After a few moments, the laughter died down to giggles, but they still held each other's gaze. Angel's right hand suddenly found its way to Spike's face, its thumb stroking a left cheekbone.
"You really are so beautiful, Will."
Spike grinned. "Yeah, I know. Jealous?"
Angel laughed at Spike's characteristic shameless way of taking compliments.
"You should do that more often, pet. The whole broody-mysterious-sexy look you got going all the time is getting old."
Angel sighed and slumped down to rest his head on Spike's chest. Spike's fingers immediately started stroking Angel's hair absentmindedly. They both didn't know where this sudden tenderness and ease of comfort with each other came from. Maybe it was because they knew they didn't have much time left, and although their relationship had never been hearts and flowers, it really was one of the strongest and maybe most important. After knowing someone for so long, pretenses were just pointless to hold up. Maybe what they both wanted right now they could only find in each other: familiarity, honesty, and knowing the other wouldn't hold back.
"I can't remember the last time I really laughed." Angel said in a sad voice.
"Oh, I cannot believe you, you bloody poof! You're brooding about brooding too much. That's when you know you've gone off the deep end, pet. Cheer up, mate! The world's about to end."
Angel raised his head to glare at the blonde vampire. "An apocalypse isn't something to be cheerful about, Spike!"
It was Spike's turn to sigh. "Well, what do you suggest, Angel? That I be like you all miserable and broody all the time? Whether I'm sitting in a dark corner moping or actually enjoying myself with a few jokes won't change the fact that we're going to all die. Because we will die, mate. And we know what's on the other side, waiting for the likes of us. The only real comfort I find in all this is that we're doing something worthwhile and that the people I care about will either be safe, or someplace better where they deserve to be. But I don't bloody brood about it. No point. It's just how life is, mate. You just have to roll with it."
Stunned by Spike's speech, Angel really looked at Spike, and marveled at all the changes he could easily see now. Somehow, Spike had found his own path and became his own without Angel there. He truly understood now why Fred thought this vampire underneath him was worth saving. It wasn't just because Spike was a champion for the good now, but because Spike truly was unique.
Spike had the ability to live and live fully in any situation, more so than any living person Angel had ever come across. His ability to love without condition made you yearn for that love to be directed at you so that you, too, can feel like you were the most important being in the world. Angel stroked Spike's cheekbone again, and felt the immense devastation of losing this amazing creature now. And for the first time, Angel felt that maybe he had chosen a childe better than he thought at the time.
Angel pulled Spike closer, fear suddenly gripping him. He didn't want to lose Spike now. He wanted to learn more about his childe's thoughts, feelings, and hear stories about their century apart. Angel knew, without a doubt, that given more time, he could fall in love with Spike. And he wanted it. Oh God, how he wanted it. An eternal companion, someone who would understand him, challenge him, and teach him how to live and love without hesitation.
"I don't want to lose you, Spike." Angel murmured in a desperate voice against the claim mark he left so many years ago on the pale, smooth neck.
Spike shivered at the sensation of Angel's words against the very sensitive mark that belonged to his Sire. He can feel a myriad of emotions coming off of Angel in waves, fear and love being the strongest of them. It was on the tip of Spike's tongue to respond to Angel's heartfelt words with a bitter or snarky remark, but couldn't find it in himself to pretend right now. He had always loved Angelus, and Angel after the soul, even when Angel abandoned his family. Their century apart did things to their relationship that were irreparable, but here, in this moment, he knew none of that mattered.
"You're not losing me, pet. I'm fighting with you 'til the end, and even after then, I'll still see you in Hell, yeah?" Spike tried to lighten the mood, but his words seem to only upset Angel more.
"You don't deserve to be punished, Will."
"That's bollocks, Angel. We both know what we've done in the past can't be bloody redeemed no matter how many times we save the soddin' world." Seeing the look on Angel's face, Spike relented. "Besides, Hell may not be so bad, yeah? I'll have you there with me, making me feel safe and all that rot. We'll be so busy annoying each other, we probably won't even feel the flames burning our arses."
Angel finally smiled, his eyes rolling at Spike's attempts to make Hell seem like a joke. His thoughts turned once again when he finally processed what Spike had said. Angel's face broke out into a huge cheeky grin. "I make you feel safe?"
"Oh sod off, Angel! I was just trying to make you feel all needed and important to feed your hero complex so you'd stop brooding." Angel smiled again at Spike's attempt to save himself the humiliation, although the slight reddening of the blonde's cheeks belied his words.
"I will keep you safe, though, Will. I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. You know that, right?"
And Spike did know. He might not have believed it during their century apart, or the years when he was in Sunnyhell, and maybe not even hours before. But now, looking in his Sire's eyes, after what they've said to each other tonight, he could see and feel the sincerity. So instead of casually waving off Angel's words, Spike replied truthfully as well.
"I know, Sire."
Angel's face broke out into a smile when he heard Spike call him 'Sire'. He pulled Spike closer to him once again, and just held him, needing the comfort of this closeness himself. He buried his nose in Spike's hair, then neck, and whispered, "I love you, Will."
Both vampires stilled at Angel's words. Angel hadn't meant to say those words, but now that he did, he knew he meant them. He waited anxiously for Spike's reply.
"I..I love you too, Angel." Spike whispered against Angel's ear. Angel's undead heart fluttered, and couldn't contain the grin that spread across his face. They didn't have much time left, but Angel felt content nonetheless. Maybe Spike was right. They probably would be annoying each other through eternity in Hell.
The End.