DISCLAIMER: I'm sad to say that the characters all belong to Joss Whedon and J.K. Rowling. Though I am proud to say the song featured in this story does belong to me and I shall now start to feature my songs in this story.

CHAPTER FOUR

"Lily…? What the bloody hell?" Buffy stared from face to face. Joyce, Lily's mother, Lily's father, and Lily. "You're not…you can't be…"

"Buffy, you have to understand some things…"

"Like what? My best friend is my twin sister and you never told me? Why, mum?" screamed Buffy, glaring.

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"Just what? Hmm? Just didn't want to bother telling me?"

"That's not it!"

"So, my best friend is my sister, and my best friend's parents are really my parents?"

"Yes…" muttered Joyce lightly.

Buffy shook her head and stormed off to her room.

XzXzX

"What do you want me to do?" yelled Sirius, waving his hands in the air.

"Love me!" Buffy screamed back. "Love me like you used to! Love me so much you would take one of the forbiddens for me! Just fucking love me Sirius!"

"I do Buffy! I fucking do, but you don't realize that!"

"No you don't! Sirius-" Buffy's voice dropped and she looked away. "You've never looked at me the same since I gave you that ring back. I told you Sirius, and we agreed, when we get older. But you've never ever looked at me the same."

"Buffy, I've always looked at you the same! I love you more than you will ever know! I love you I love you I fuckin love you Buffy Anne Summers! So don't you fucking dare say I don't!" Buffy dropped to her knees and started to cry. "Buffy, baby don't cry…"

"I'm telling you Sirius, it's a fucking sign…"

"No it isn't."

XzXzX

"Remus…" Buffy could feel his breathe.

"Buffy, go get the man you love." Buffy hesitated.

"Remus-"

"Don't make me make you leave." Buffy laughed and apparated to find Sirius.

It was a horrible scene; the house had been taken to the ground. As Buffy walked through the wreckage she could see a pale arm hang out from what used to be the bedroom wall. Buffy lifted the wall and dropped to her knees. Lily lay motionless.

"Lily…Lily! Don't play these games right now…" Buffy checked for a pulse, for any sign of life, but found nothing.

"Buffy…" Sirius stood in front of her holding a crying bundle. "They're-they're gone."

"No…NO!" she screamed. "Not Lily…"

"SIRIUS!" boomed Hagrid. "DUMBLEDORE WANTS THAT BABY!"

"I'm the Godfather, Hagrid. Harry's mine now."

"No he ruddy hell ain't! I'm sorry, Sirius, I'm just followin' Dumbledore's orders." Reluctantly, Sirius handed Harry over to Hagrid.

"Take my bike." He turned to Buffy. "Buffy," he said, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her lightly and forcing her to look him in the eye. "You have to get away from here."

"But Sirius-"

"No buts! The ministry is going to be swarming all over this place. Go back to Remus'; you'll be safe there."

"I am not going back there! My best friends were just killed by their best friend! I am going to kill-"

"No you're not. You won't be able to."

"And why not?"

"Because he'll already be dead." With that Sirius apparated off.

XzXzX

Buffy sat crying on the bed in Remus' room. "Why?" she sobbed. Remus wrapped his arms around her gently. "Why would you even think he did it Remus? You know as well as I that he couldn't!"

"Buffy, he was their secret keeper! He was the one who betrayed them."

Buffy gave up. There wasn't a hope in hell that she could convince Remus that Peter had been the secret keeper.

"Remus…" she whispered, looking up at him.

"Mmhmm…"he answered.

"Can you forgive me?"

"For what?"

"For leaving you?"

"Of course I can…" He kissed her gently.

XzXzX

Dream…

"Buffy." Buffy looked up and found herself in a black ballroom gown looking up at Sirius who wore a black tux.

"Mmhmm?"

"You can do it. Please. Bring me back."

"You're dead. How can I?"

"I'm not dead. You know that. I'm lost. I need you to find me."

"How?"

"It's like looking in a crowd…" He slowly walked backwards away from her, reluctantly letting her hands go.

"Wait!" Buffy chased after him, but a crowd of women and men in dresses and tuxes engulfed them both and Buffy could not find him. "Sirius!" she ran through the crowd, searching for him. Spinning in circles, trying to find the man she loved. Then she saw him there about fifty feet in front of her. She stood still for a moment, then ran to him. But the moment she touched his hands she found herself in a cold sweat in her own bed.

End of dream

"Buffy? Are you alright?" Buffy looked at Remus.

"I-I'm fine…" she looked away from him. Was it just a pointless dream? Or did it mean something more?

She got out of her bed and found a pair of jeans lying on the floor. She put them on along with a too-big shirt of Remus'.

"There's something I have to do. I'll be back soon."

She flooed over to the Black House.

"Tara!" she yelled, pounding on the door of the room Tara and Faith had been put in.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" asked Hermione, poking her head out of her door. Buffy shook her head.

"Nothing, 'Mione. I just need to speak to Tara." Just then Tara's door opened.

"What's the matter?" she asked, looking at Buffy and then at Hermione.

"I really need to talk to you." Tara glanced at Hermione.

"Come in," she said, moving out of the way to let Buffy in.

"Is there a way to get a lost soul back?" she asked urgently, staring straight at Tara. By now Faith was up to.

"Yes, but-"

"No buts." No buts. She sounded like the person she was trying to get back. "I need to get a lost soul back."

"Who's?"

"Sirius Black's."

XzXzX

"Stand back for now." Buffy stepped away from where Tara was sitting. Tara sat cross-legged. She had five candles around her and she sat in the middle of a white chalk pentacle on the floor to which the candles were the tips of the star.

She started sprinkling something that looked a lot like sat around herself while chanting quietly.

Buffy watched this and tripped back when a portal opened in front of Tara.

"Buffy?"

"Um…yeah?"

"Go into the portal. You'll have five minutes to retrieve Sirius."

Buffy slowly walked towards the portal. She let her hand go through first, then she stepped through.

The place had no up, no down, it made no sense. The stairs would go up, down, then she'd be upside down…the exit was in the middle of all of this. She then spotted a door and walked into it.

The room was exactly like her dream. She was immediately pushed into a crowd of men in tuxes and women in ballroom dresses. She pushed her way through the crowd, searching for Sirius.

She can't find a way

To justify

Her heart

She can't find a way

To equalize

Her hurt

She looked down and found herself wearing the same black ballroom gown as in her dream. She continued to push her way when a soft whispering of Sirius' voice filled her ears.

"Buffy…"

She just wants to

Hold him tight

And never fight

Again

She just wants to

Be herself

And never care

Again

But the love she forgot

But the love she had lost

Hadn't forgot its trust

In her

She turned around and there he stood, about twenty, thirty feet in front of her. She ran to him, and this time when she grabbed his hands and collapsed into him she didn't wake up from a dream. Instead she opened her eyes and found herself back in her jeans and T-shirt, standing in Tara's room, her head pressed against Sirius' chest and holding his torso as tight as she could.

"Oh my god…" she pulled back and looked at Sirius. "Oh my god…" She grabbed him and hugged him again as tight as she could. He hugged her back.

"Buffy…"

"Oh god Sirius…"

XzXzX

A/N thanx to Slays...more explaining to come if i can fit it in the next chapter...thank you! now Review!