Touching You – 14?
Natalie stirred in the bed. She reached out an arm, but only touched empty bed. It felt wrong and she woke up more fully. She sat up and looked around and saw a lot of blinding red and pink. She looked over and saw John McBain looking at her from where he was sitting at the room's pink faux marble table.
She flushed and pulled the blanket up against her chest to hide her nakedness. She didn't say a word, just looked at him with vulnerable eyes, waiting for him to set the pace; whether it be forward or back.
"You hungry?"
She nodded and pulled the blanket around herself and looked for her clothing.
"Here." John walked over and picked up her t-shirt and handed it to her.
Natalie took it and put it on.
John sat down on the side of the bed and pushed her hair off her cheek. She kept her face turned away.
"Hey. Hey. Look at me."
Natalie turned, biting her lip.
He framed her face with his hands and pushed her hair back. "I. There's. We." John blew out a breath in frustration.
"Just tell me the truth," Natalie whispered.
John nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them she could see the emotion in his eyes and it took her breath away.
"I should regret what happened, for a lot of reasons, but I don't."
"Why didn't you make love to me?" she asked.
John's smile faded and he touched her lips with his fingers. "Not because I don't want to. But you're married and I have no right to this. No matter how much I want it."
Natalie propelled herself forward and hugged him tightly. Tears were sliding silently from her eyes as she too grappled with what she should be feeling and what she actually did feel.
"Now tell me the truth," John whispered.
Natalie dashed the tears off her cheeks and pulled back so that he could look at her while she spoke.
"I don't feel married to Cristian. I love him. I will always love him and care very deeply for him. But I'm not in love with him anymore. Maybe that makes me a bad person. But what I feel for you and have for a long time is so much…more now."
John slid his thumb over the tears wetting her cheeks.
"You're not a bad person. A lot of time has passed. You've both changed."
"If Caitlin came back how would you feel?"
John jerked slightly at the question.
Natalie sighed and made to pull away.
"Wait." John gripped her arms. "I loved Caitlin very much and I will always regret that she died because of me and that we never got to have the life we planned. But we never will and now." John stopped and stroked Natalie's hair back and smiled softly. "Now, you're the woman who drives me absolutely crazy. Who I miss when she's not around. Who I dream about. Who I want."
Natalie nodded, a sly grin lighting her face, despite the tears still falling.
"You knew that. You always knew that." John shook his head in wonder at her tenacity.
"This is going to really hurt Cristian, especially after everything that's happened. I don't know how I can do that, but I don't know how I can't. I have to be honest with him, he deserves that. I love you, John McBain."
Her heart soared as she saw tears fill his eyes as he finally accepted the inevitable.
"The thing is, Natalie. About my feelings, about saying the words."
"You have trouble saying them. It doesn't matter to me." She didn't let him finish.
"It matters to me. I want to say them to you, but not until I have the right to do that. Not until things are clean with Cris. It sounds silly, but…"
Natalie moved forward and initiated a long, passionate kiss.
John was the one who broke away. "We need to eat and get more sleep. We'll leave at first light."
"We're going to travel during the day?"
"We want to be around crowds of people. Traffic. It'll be harder to spot us and to get at us."
"When will we know it's safe?"
"Bo will call us."
>>>>>>>
"You never explained to me what that guy meant about room six." Natalie's hair was blowing back through the open window of the blue Ford Escort.
"I used to meet informants there when I was with the Bureau. I'd get a matchbook and know to meet at that room."
"Is the guy who got us this car one of those informants?"
John nodded and looked in the side mirror.
"Are we being followed?" Natalie whipped her head around and looked behind them.
"I don't think so." John put his hand on Natalie's knee. "Relax."
Natalie sighed and picked up the newspaper they had picked up along with a to-go breakfast of bagels and coffee. A few minutes later she dropped the paper onto the floor at her feet. She was too restless to sit and read.
"Can I drive?" she asked.
"No."
"Why not? Is it because you're the guy?" she sneered.
"Because this is a standard transmission and you have a sprained ankle."
"It's almost healed. I'm bored."
"If you ask me if we're there yet I'm going to give you a time out." John chuckled.
Natalie shrugged and looked out the window. She didn't speak for several minutes.
"Do you know what driving on the Turnpike reminds me of?"
"What?"
"The beginning of the Sopranos. Bum dee dee bum." She began to mimic the opening music. "Makes me feel like I'm back home when I watch it. Remember when we rented the DVD's and watched it together?"
"I had never seen it but you insisted it was a good show."
"You did criticize some of the law enforcement stuff, but you soon began to enjoy it. Especially the Bada Bing."
"It had good music." Natalie laughed.
"Speaking of." Natalie turned on the radio, searching for something besides talkie radio morning shows. With a sigh she settled on Howard Stern. "Wish we had some CD's with us."
"We need to conserve cash."
"I could get my grandfather to send us some."
"Too risky."
"Antonio? Why don't we call Antonio. Or RJ? They have all those underworld connections. They might be able to tell us something."
"Bo is already doing that."
Natalie sighed and looked back out the window. She didn't see John shoot her a fond look. He was just glad she was alive and well. And in love with him.
Four hours later they were passing driving on Route 95 into Connecticut. There had been little conversation for the past hour other than potential bathroom breaks and discussions of where they would stop for the night.
Natalie had been surprised when John had continued east towards New York instead of turning west to Pennsylvania. The thought of hiding out in New England made her edgy. In her mind it seemed to dead end at the Atlantic Ocean and then they were trapped. John seemed to feel confident about it so she didn't question his plan.
The radio station they were listening to began to get fuzzy, so Natalie reached over and began to switch the stations. A smile spread across her face as the opening strains of Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road" filled the tiny car. She sighed and brought her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.
Under his breath, John began to hum along with the song. Natalie tilted her head and looked over at him. He turned at the same moment and their blue eyes met. She smiled and so did he.