A/N: Athena's on a roll! You see, I wrote this the day after I wrote chapter 11. Here's hoping I can squeeze in one more before vacation. If not, farewell, and see you in three weeks or so. And yes, I did write the prophecy all by myself, save the last part. (I just HAD to use that last part from the Digimon episode "Prophecy.") The chapter is a bit long, but the battles require more writing than I anticipated. So, as I always say… Enjoy!

Chapter 12

Prophecy and Pan-Ku

The sky over New New York had taken on a menacing shade of grey, as if a thunderstorm were imminent. Meanwhile, in the brick-red Planet Express building, a liberal amount of activity was taking place. Amy lay as limp and motionless as ever on the faculty breakfast table, Dr. Zoidberg examining her and Kif weeping into her chest. Meanwhile, in the Accusing Parlor (which was the closest thing to a study, in Uncle's opinion), Uncle had opened his books of research and was now supervising Jackie's feverish studying. Both were figuring out how to stop Myotismon before it was too late. The grandfather clock in the Accusing Parlor showed the time was 5:04 PM Eastern Time. Meanwhile, in Tokyo, Japan, the time was 6:04 AM. [A/N: That is true. I did some research, and Tokyo time is thirteen hours ahead of New York time.] The truth was that Tokyo time coincided with Nightmarion 5 time. Finally, in the lounge, Bender, Fry, and Zapp were watching TV with the volume turned way up. Professor Farnsworth, convinced that they had defeated Myotismon, had disabled the force field. The others were watching Zoidberg examine Amy.

Fry put his bare feet on the coffee table. "Man, it feels good to be watching TV again," he told no one in particular. "With all the Bavarian cream dogs and Soylent Doritos you can eat!" As if to emphasize his point, he chomped down on what looked like a hot dog. White cream splattered all over everything within a three-foot radius.

"Have you three stooges forgot that we haven't defeated Myotismon yet?" Leela pointed out. "Amy's chi is drained, Jade is covered with bat bites, Jackie is studying his brains out, and MYOTISMON IS ABOUT TO UNLEASH HIS DIGI-DEMONS ON OUR PLANET!" The three on the couch jumped up from surprise. "How could you be watching TV at a time like this?"

Meanwhile, Zoidberg took a small rubber hammer and hit Amy in various places. First her knee, then her arm, and then three times on her forehead. "Well, I did all I could to the human. Her fin rot caused her to float upside down. The human Amy is dead." That caused Kif to wail into Amy even harder.

"But Amy's alive!" Jade pointed out, covered in colorful children's bandages. "She just got drained of her chi, that's all."

"Young man, who's the doctor here?" the lobster retorted. "Hermes, take her to the toilet and flush her down."

"Do eet yourself, ya faht crahb!" snapped Hermes.

As Zoidberg slung Amy's body over his shoulder, Jade decided to use her second and last resort. "UNCLE!" she screamed. "TELL THEM AMY IS NOT DEAD!" There was a pause. "WE'LL MAKE YOU GREEN TEA!"

"I CARE NOT FOR GREEN TEA!" a voice shouted from the stairwell that led to the Accusing Parlor. Uncle hurried down the stairs, through the lounge, and into the conference room. He was followed by a winded-looking Jackie, who carried a book larger than most dictionaries. Jackie slammed the book down on the table, and it was opened to one text-covered page. Uncle adjusted his glasses, pressed his fingers around Amy's wrist, then listened to her chest for signs of life as Jackie sat down to catch his breath. "Amy Wong is NOT dead," he announced to everyone. Kif leapt into the air out of joy. "However, she has been drained of her chi."

"Chi?" wondered Fry. "What's chi?"

Uncle seemed to radiate a mystical glow about him. "Chi is the essence of a person. It is what you call a soul. A person's chi IS the person! If you are deprived of your chi, you have NO senses… no ability to move… YOU WILL LIE AROUND ALL DAY AS NOTHING BUT A BODY!!!" The glow instantly disappeared.

Zoidberg dropped Amy onto the table.

"ONE MORE THING! Jackie found a prophecy that can tell us how to defeat Myotismon! Jackiiiieeeee, show them the paaaaage!"

At the sound of "defeat Myotismon," Fry, bender, and Zapp leapt up from the couch and dashed over to the conference table. Everyone there leaned towards the book, listening intently.

Jackie began to read what he and Uncle had just translated. "It's a prophecy," he informed them. "To me, it doesn't really make sense—"

"YOUR MIND IS ROTTEN AND UNCLEAR, JACKIIIIEEEEEEE!" screamed Uncle, whacking Jackie between the eyes. "You do not possess a mind like Uncle!"

Jackie rolled his eyes and decided to read. " 'When the vernal equinox has come and gone and the summer solstice slowly approaches, darkness will fall upon the Mother Planet. The sky shall fill with the screeches of a million bats, and the eight greatest evils will prevail at the Hour of the Beast, unlocked from their five-hundred-year confinement. Seven will fall victim to he who possesses the mind of a child. The darkness will only lessen at the hand of the largest amount of light, but the tiniest star will prove to be the brightest of all. Please always recycle.' So did that make sense to you?"

Everyone, looking bewildered, scratched their heads and looked around. Uncle was the only one who maintained a straight face.

" 'Please always recycle?' " Fry scoffed. "Geez, it's the year 3000 or so, and we ALWAYS recycle! It's impossible NOT to recycle nowadays!"

"So… we gotta throw Myotismon directly into Vega or something?" asked Zapp.

Uncle whacked everyone between the eyes, one after the other. "YOU EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOTS!!!! YOU NOT INTELLIGENT AT AAALLLLLL! YOU NEED MORE GAAAAAAAAAAARRLLLEEEEEEEEEEEC! Garlic clears the MIND, you know."

Everyone looked away from Uncle and at the TV screen. It showed a screen with five robots and one human on it. An announcer said, "And now… back to a very special All My Circuits."

On All My Circuits, Monique was on the screen, speaking to Calculon and a number of other robots, plus the only human character. Her distended stomach showed that she was pregnant. Dramatic chords sounded in the background as she spoke. "The secret is out! I… I know who the father-bot of my baby is!… And that man-bot is…"

Suddenly, there was a screen that read "SPECIAL REPORT" in big, bold letters. "This is a special report," declared a male voice.

Fry and Bender, the biggest All My Circuits fans, groaned loudly and banged their heads on the table.

"No, no, NO!" cried Bender. "Now we'll NEVER find out who the father is!"

The screen switched once again to a scene of Linda and Morbo sitting in front of a panoramic view of Los Angeles. Linda cleared her throat and set a few papers on the table in front of her. "Good afternoon, Earth," declared a solemn-looking Linda. Morbo, on the other hand, appeared to be overjoyed. "Today, at exactly 6:06 AM, Tokyo was rudely awakened by the arrival of seven monsters through a mysterious wormhole. Because the annual 'Godzilla and Friends' festival was held three weeks ago, police authorities have been notified." Scenes of each Digi-Demon appeared on the screen, one after the other. "These monsters, as ridiculous as they might look, are dangerous. They have been described to be the devil in black leather, his… er… wife, a gay clown, a wooden puppet in blue pants, an Elvis-impersonating monkey, a cyborg of some sort, and a sea serpent. Reports have also confirmed that these monsters are capable of speaking English." Those descriptions pertained to Devimon, LadyDevimon, Piedmon, Puppetmon, Etemon, Apocalymon, and MetalSeadramon.

The image on the screen switched back to Morbo. "I knew the puny humans were not as powerful as they thought they were!" he chuckled.

"A ha ha ha ha," laughed Linda. "And now, our field reporter with an exclusive interview with one of the monsters."

On the TV, an amateur-looking Japanese reporter who was holding a microphone was making his way towards MetalSeadramon. "Uh… thank you, Linda. Today I will be asking this creature what it wants with Earth, and what we can give it to make it stop attacking." He held up his microphone, then suddenly MetalSeadramon's head zoomed down and chomped down on the reporter, then flew back up just as quickly. There was a muffled yell, a nasty crunch, and then a swallowing noise. The camera dropped down to the ground, and it showed an image of the screaming cameraman running for his life and MetalSeadramon slithering off to eat more people. "I'm starvin'!" he exclaimed in his raspy, young voice that had a slight drawl. "C'mon, let me eat ya for breakfast!"

Leela turned the TV off. "That does it; we're going to Japan!"

Professor Farnsworth uttered, "Oh my." He looked around the room. "Eh… Fry? Leela? Bender? You're going to Japan. And so is Captain Brannigan. And… yes, Jackie Chan."

"I COME, TOO!" insisted Uncle. "YOU ALL NEED CHI SPELLS TO PROTECT YOU!"

Zoidberg raised his claw and jumped up in the air. "Oooh, let Zoidberg come with you! You WILL need a doctor…"

Kif and Hermes refused to go with them; Kif could not bear to leave Amy, and Hermes could not care less. Neither could Scruffy, who said, "Let Scruffy know if humanity's enslaved. Scruffy wants ta be ready."

"Jackiiieeeee… can't I come too?" begged Jade, hugging Jackie's legs.

"NO," demanded Jackie. "Not this time, Jade. I already lost you once, remember, and I don't want to lose you again. You are going to stay with Amy, end of story."

Jade let go of Jackie, then slumped over to where Amy and Kif were. Hermes walked to his office, and Scruffy trudged down the stairs to the basement. She kept her lower lip protruding as she saw Fry, Leela, Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Zoidberg, Jackie, Uncle, and Zapp board the Planet Express ship in its hangar. Suddenly, she grinned maliciously and hurried aboard.

The ship took off and landed in Japan about ten seconds later. Tokyo had been reduced from a glittering metropolis to what looked like the set of a disaster movie. The green ship landed in a parking hangar, where it seemed they would be safe.

Everyone present gathered around Uncle, who had taken the liberty of setting up a small cauldron that was filled with the necessary chi ingredients. The potion was beginning to boil over a fire, the fireplace which it was blazing in had come with the pot. A strong-smelling steam escaped from the mixture, causing everyone to wrinkle their noses.

"You will all be fighting the Digi-Demons today," declared Uncle, the glow of the fire giving his face a mystical look. "When the chi spell is complete, you will get your own customized version of it."

"How are you going to customize it, Uncle?" asked Leela. "And where did you get all the chi ingredients?"

"Little Neptune," replied Uncle. "The Neptunians are veeeeeeery nice." The sage glared at the professor. "Unlike SOME people!"

The professor harrumphed and turned his back on Uncle. "I may not be a nice person, but at least I'm not UGLY!" he retorted. "I actually have a head, unlike that coconut with white hairs sprouting out of it that's resting on top of your shoulders!"

Before Uncle could open his mouth in rebuttal, Jackie stepped between Professor Farnsworth and Uncle, holding his arms out. "Professor, Uncle, PLEASE! Just be tolerant of each other… just this once…"

"FINE!" snapped Uncle. "Professsssaaaaar, you be USEFUL for once and give everyone a TALISMAN!"

"Well, where are the talismans, hmmmmmm?" asked the professor.

Sighing, Leela and Jackie gave up the twelve talismans, which were welcomed by Professor Farnsworth's wrinkled hands. "Good news, everyone! You all get a talisman!" Everyone held out their hands. "One for you… one for you…" He dropped random talismans into everyone's hands.

"PROFESSOR, YOU FOOL!" Uncle screamed. If it had been any shriller, glass would have shattered in an instant. Everyone nearly leapt out of their shoes. "You cannot just GIIIIIIIVE random talismans to people! THEY KNOW NOT OF THE POWERS THEY POSSESS!"

"Oh, gripe, gripe, gripe… eh, hand them back, everyone," responded the professor. Everyone yielded their talisman to a disgruntled Professor Farnsworth, who looked as if his greatest desire was to set Uncle on fire, or at least shove the talismans where the sun did not shine.

As Uncle began to give a long-winded lecture on the different powers of the talismans, Jade decided that this was the perfect time to sneak out of her hiding place in the engine room and join the others. She would blend in… Jade tiptoed closer… closer…

"JADE!" shouted Jackie, startling the others once again. Heads turned to look at Jade, whose sheepish grin exposed every tooth in her mouth.

"Hi, Jackie!" Jade greeted in her usual bubbly manner, waving.

Jackie rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "Jaaaaaade," he addressed in that tone of voice he only used when Jade was in deep trouble, "what did I just tell you?"

"You told me to stay with Amy," replied Jade. "But you didn't tell me whether you wanted me with the body or the chi. Remembering Uncle's boring little lesson on how the chi is the person, blah blah blah, I realized that I should stay with Amy's chi. And since Amy's chi is with Myotismon…"

Jackie refused to open his mouth, for he could not decide whether to scold Jade or to laugh. At one point, he raised his index finger and opened his mouth, but no words escaped. After three seconds of fickle decision-making, the archaeologist decided not to say or do anything.

"The girl speaks wisely," remarked Uncle. "She LISTENS to Uncle."

"Yes, yes, yes," said Zapp sarcastically. "Anyone who listens to Uncle is wise. Now let's just go out there and kill the Digi-Demons before they go Myotismon on our asses." To prove his point, he whipped out a laser gun and cocked it.

Like he had done to Jackie, Uncle whacked the starship captain between the eyes. "NO!" the sage shrieked. "NO GUNS! MAGIC MUST DEFEAT MAGIC!"

"I hate to say this," said Leela, "but Zapp's right. I doubt the Digi-Demons are magic. I mean… they're Digimon, for God's sake. The only way to get rid of a Digimon is to use classic American violence."

Uncle poked Leela in the eye. "NO! DO YOU NOT LIIIIIISTEN???!!!! MAGIC MUST DEFEAT MAGIC!!!!!!"

As Leela stumbled around and held her hand over her eye, Fry opened his mouth, only to also be whacked between the eyes like the last two.

"MAGIC MUST DEFEAT MAGIC!!!!!!!!!" Uncle screamed so loudly, it could be heard two blocks away as well as over the crashes of buildings that were demolished in the attack.

A deafening silence filled the ship.

"But Uncle," Fry pointed out, "I was wondering if I could take that Devimon guy. You know, the demon of air? I've always wanted to fly."

"Yes… yes…" answered Uncle. He gave Fry the Rooster Talisman. "Then you will need this." He suddenly changed from a cranky old man full of hot air into a mystic sage. "Leela, you are a strong woman. That is why I am giving you the Ox Talisman for even more strength, more than you already possess. Be prepared to fight LadyDevimon with it." Leela grinned as she caught the Ox Talisman. She already felt adrenaline surge through her veins. "And Bender… though you are already formidable as a robot, your love of music will help you in your fight against Etemon. Do not do it physically— challenge him to a guitar contest. The Rabbit Talisman will enhance your ability tenfold."

"All RIGHT!" exclaimed the robot. "Nobody dares to monkey around with me, or they'll have to bite my shiny metal ass!" He threw the Rabbit Talisman into his chest cabinet.

"And Professor Farnsworth," Uncle continued, "since you are no better than a snake, I am giving you the Snake Talisman for invisibility. That way, no one will have to look at your HIDEOUS FACE! And since Puppetmon is the least powerful, you shall fight against him… maybe to the death. I HOPE HE COMES BACK THE WINNER!"

The professor stuck his tongue out at Uncle, who pretended not to notice.

"Captain Brannigan, as a space captain, you will be fighting Apocalymon on the moon," declared Uncle. "And siiiince this is up in spaaaace… two talismans for you! The dog for immortality because you cannot breathe in space… as well as the dragon for FIRE BREATHING! Apocalymon hates fire!"

"HEY!" barked Professor Farnsworth. "How come I don't get the fire when I'm fighting a wooden puppet?"

"Because I hate you," replied Uncle. "You reek of bad chi and formaldehyde! Finally, Jackiiiiieeeee… you will fight Piedmon, the most powerful of them all, with the remaining five talismans!" He gave the Tiger, Monkey, Pig, Horse, Sheep, and Rat Talismans to Jackie, who contemplated them with mixed feelings.

"What about Zoidberg?" complained the lobster. "Don't I get a talisman? Does ZOIDBERG get to fight anyone? I want the one in the sea, I do!"

Jackie threw the Monkey Talisman at Zoidberg, who zealously caught it.

"Zoidberg won't let you down, humans and robutt!" blabbed Zoidberg, who held his talisman as if it were a crown jewel. "I will FIGHT to the death, I will! Until there is NO MORE!" He crowed, then punched a pretend enemy with his claws.

"NO! YOU WILL NOT FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" shrieked Uncle. "You will fight until the Digi-Demons are unprepared and weak. Then you will jump up and down, chant 'Nu mo bway fa fi di tao,' and hold your chi potion up until it forms a gate back to the digital world! The demons will be sucked in, and Myotismon will need to fend for himself!" While Uncle spoke, he handed out vials of the customized chi potions to everyone.

At that point, Jackie, Fry, Leela, Bender, Zoidberg, and the professor were all let out of the ship. Though it was supposed to go to the moon, it did not rise from its landing pad.

"FLY US TO THE MOOOOON!" screamed Uncle. "DO NOT JUST STAND THERE!"

"I don't know how to fly this contraption!" admitted Zapp. Uncle once again hit him between the eyes.

"What, it's no different from the Cumulus…" Jade pointed out. "Isn't it?"

Finally, after everything was figured out, the Planet Express ship took off from the ground, in just enough time to allow Myotismon to know what was about to happen on the moon.

Fry's battle was the first one fought. "All right, Devimon…" he muttered under his breath, "it's just you, me, and the Rooster Talisman." The delivery boy looked around, but he saw no sign of the demon anywhere, only civilians sprinting away from where he was standing. "Oh well, I guess he's already been killed by the army or something—"

"Looking for someone?" asked a cold, deep voice behind him. Fry turned around and found himself staring directly into the face of Devimon, a demon who was clad in a leather bodysuit and had tattered bat wings and two extra-large horns protruding from his head.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, trying to run away, but Devimon leapt into the air and landed in front of him.

"Don't be scared, Red," said Devimon, holding out his hand. Dark energy filtered out of it and bounded Fry like a hand. "It's only me, Devimon." Fry struggled to break free, but the energy held him like a straitjacket. "Say… the ground is a bit too… crowded for us… why don't we take this upstairs." He cackled, then carried Fry up into the air, far above the tallest skyscrapers.

Fry kicked and flailed. "No," he pleaded, "please don't drop me!"

"Too late!" replied the demon, letting go of the redhead.

As Fry plummeted to the ground, he remembered he had a talisman. "Let it work!" he exclaimed.

All of a sudden, the talisman that he had kept in his pocket glowed. Fry hovered in midair, then began to erratically zoom all over the place, in arbitrary directions, as if he were wearing a jet pack with a leak in it. He did twists and turns, then flew up through the stratosphere, then plummeted back down again, only to speed off into the direction of a building.

"What the—" asked Devimon, attempting to chase after Fry, but the delivery boy's poor flying abilities got him dizzy after a chase in circles. He spun his head around, then suddenly felt nauseous. Then, after seeing Fry shoot above him, he fainted and fell to the ground.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa!" shouted Fry as the uncontrollable flight swung him around and around. The delivery boy glanced downward and saw Devimon plummeting to the ground. "Hey, I guess I have better fighting skills than Leela told me," he remarked, hovering in midair. Then he did an incredibly stupid thing: he took the talisman out of his pocket. "I guess I didn't need you after all," he told it, chucking it aside. The talisman's glowing ceased, and it dropped to the street below. "Uh oh. WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Fortunately, Devimon was there to break Fry's fall. "Oof!" they both ejaculated as the delivery boy landed on top of the demon. Devimon moaned in pain, and Fry knew that he was vulnerable, so he held up his chi spell and uncorked the bottle. Jumping up and down, he began to chant.

"Nu mom bway fun find it OW! No Monday be finding DOLL!" The potion spilled all over the ground. "Aw, this is HOPELESS," muttered Fry as Devimon stood up and advanced on him. "Why did Uncle give me a faulty chi spell? Why couldn't I have just said 'hocus pocus' instead of 'nu mo bway fa fi di tao' or whatever it is?"

The vial glowed a neon green, and it was ejected from its container. Like a long thread, a small stream of the potion formed a circle, which in turn opened a smaller version of the Gate of Destiny. Devimon's feet slid down the ground, and the demon fell over and clutched onto the gravel with his claws. The force emitted by the gate was pulling the demon in, but left Fry alone. Papers and garbage also blew down the street as the vacuum of the gate sucked even more. Finally, Devimon abandoned all hope and let go. After his body had completely vanished in the gate, it closed, turned into the potion once again, then fell onto the street with a splash.

"And that's the end of that chapter," said Fry as the crowd around him applauded.

The second fight was Jackie against Piedmon. Wandering through the streets, Jackie searched for any signs of a Digi-Demon. That was when the martial-arts master came upon what appeared to be a circus tent, which people were avoiding at all costs. The sounds of calliope and evil laughter could be faintly heard inside.

"Not in there you go," a Japanese man warned Jackie in broken English. "People go but not come out!"

"A Digi-Demon," deduced Jackie, who dashed towards the tent as quickly as possible. However, Jackie was not about to make a grand entrance. He pushed the red-and-white striped door of the tent aside to see nothing more than an ordinary three-ring circus. However, everything had an eerie blue glow to it, as if it were enchanted. The seats were vacant, there was no menagerie of animals, and there were no performers or ringleader. Wondering why no one bothered to enter the tent, Jackie cautiously entered and began to relax.

There was a booming noise as all the lights went off, and a spotlight shone only on him. The sound of a drumroll echoed through the tent, and a fruity male voice resounded as if he were speaking into a powerful microphone. Jackie's body vibrated with each word.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls of all ages! Prepare to feast your eyes on a spectacle of amazement and wonder as a Digi-Demon claims yet ANOTHER victim! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Another spotlight shone on a trapeze, and a clown in a gaudy costume fell onto it from out of nowhere, swung on it a few times, then landed gracefully, facing Jackie. "I am your ringleader," said the clown in the same voice as that on the loudspeaker. "I am Lord Piedmon, the Digi-Demon of mirth as well as the mountain."

"Jackie Chan, your assailant!" replied Jackie, standing in a fighting stance, mentally pleading that his talismans work.

"You say you want to fight?" wondered Piedmon. "I love a good tragedy! TRUMP SWORD!" The jester slashed his two swords through the air, and a red X made out of pure energy hit Jackie square in the chest. Jackie tried to use the Pig Talisman to hit Piedmon in the chest and knock him over, but the severe pain of the impact kept his eyes closed. And that damn calliope music in the background only made it worse for Jackie.

"TRUMP SWORD!" shouted Piedmon again. Jackie rolled out of the way just in time, and tried to focus more on putting the Pig Talisman to use. He focused on the clown, and a red laser beam shot out of his eyes. Piedmon leapt out of the way and maniacally cackled. Once again, Jackie tried to zap him with the laser beams, but once again, Piedmon was too quick for him. The martial-arts master knew that he had to be in perfect shape to be focused.

"A-choo," he said to the Horse Talisman. "A-choo!" The pain was ameliorated enough for Jackie to stand up. "A-choo! A-choo!"

Piedmon put on a false expression of sympathy. "Oh, I'm sorry, you have a cold in the nose!" He took out a white handkerchief and threw it at Jackie. "Here, take my handkerchief!"

Before Jackie could do anything else, the handkerchief grew to the size of a bedsheet and covered him. Jackie felt himself paralyzed everywhere; even his eyes could not move. When Piedmon lifted the handkerchief, he seemed to have grown to fifty times his normal size. Or Jackie had shrunk. Everything seemed larger to him.

"Well, well, well, my very own Jackie Chan keychain!" exclaimed the clown to Jackie's face. His breath smelled like wine, and Jackie was unable to wince. He was jiggled around by the clown, but to him it was as if he were in a boat that was stranded in a violent hurricane. But then the shock got to him: he was a keychain. A completely immobile, powerless keychain.

As Piedmon laughed like a maniac once again, the archaeologist realized that he did not just possess the Pig and Horse Talismans, but the Rat Talisman as well. Gnome Cop! Jackie realized, getting a recollection of the time the talisman was inserted into Jade's Gnome Cop doll, and the doll came to life. I have the Rat Talisman, and if it can grant motion to a doll, it can definitely do the same to a keychain!

As if on cue, the miniature talisman glowed from inside Jackie's pocket, and suddenly Jackie felt as if his body was being unfrozen. He could move his eyes, then his fingers and toes, and then his entire body. "Give it up, clown boy!" he shouted, kicking and punching the air. "A-choo!"

Jackie felt himself drop to the floor, a normal human again. He knew that now was a good time, as Piedmon had fallen to the floor in shock as well. Jackie stood up, uncorked the vial, chanted "Nu mo bway fa fi di tao," and waited for the Gate of Destiny to form.

After Piedmon was completely sucked into the gate and the gate closed, Jackie decided to say the first thing that came to mind. "Looks like the curtain just went down on you."

The next three battles were short and do not require much explanation. The third battle was Leela against LadyDevimon. Leela's taunts turned LadyDevimon away from the crowd, and it turned into a bitchfight, much worse than Leela's with Amy. She and the female devil slapped each other, wrestled on the ground, anything to weaken LadyDevimon. As Leela kicked her adversary against the wall of a building, she quickly activated the chi spell.

Professor Farnsworth's fight with Puppetmon was simple—his invisibility got the puppet as dazed and confused as Devimon had been with Fry. Then, when Puppetmon was not looking, the professor took a lighter and set Puppetmon's pants on fire. Finally, he opened the Gate of Destiny and sent Puppetmon tumbling into it, much to the dismay of Uncle, who hoped the professor would not come back alive.

Fifth was Bender's fight against Etemon. The Elvis-impersonating monkey challenged the robot to a guitar contest, and Bender used his banjo. Etemon had said, "Beat this!" and played none other than the Elvis song "A Little Less Conversation" on his guitar. Bender, not to be beaten, activated the Rabbit Talisman and played a medley of folk songs on his banjo. His grand finale was bashing the monkey over the head with his banjo, then sloshing the chi spell over him. Luckily, Leela had arrived and chanted "Nu mo bway fa fi di tao!" before Etemon came to.

Five Digi-Demons had been safely locked away inside the gate, and only two remained: one on Earth, the other on the moon. Zoidberg's battle with MetalSeadramon was to be fought on Earth—in the harbor, to be more precise. Sure enough, the sea serpent was lurking in the harbor, waiting for yet another unsuspecting human to wade in and eat them.

The lobster, however, did not see him, so he kindly asked anyone he passed. "Excuse me human," he said, tapping a disgusted woman on the shoulder. "Have you seen a big, smelly sea creature?"

"YOU!" screamed the woman in Japanese, running as far away from Zoidberg as possible. Once again, the lobster was crestfallen.

"That is it, I cannot stand you humans! Running away and not telling me if the sea serpent is there or not. If anyone cares to listen, I am going for a scuttle." Pretending to act arrogant, Zoidberg scuttled down the street until he reached a dock, then dropped himself into the harbor with a splash.

Below the surface, MetalSeadramon complained to himself about hunger. "Man, I'm starved… I haven't eaten in centuries, it seems. And NO, I CAN'T eat my brothers. Why not? They treat me like crap anyway… just because I'm from the ocean…"

Zoidberg heard these complaints and decided to go underwater. "Finally, a friend for Zoidberg!" he exclaimed, diving under the surface.

Near the bottom, the two met. "You are an outcast, too?" asked the lobster. "We have so much in common, we could be best friends!"
MetalSeadramon only saw a free meal. "Uh… yeah, we could be friends, couldn't we?" he played along. "And… uh… do you know what friends do? They do favors for others. And… uh… I have a favor to ask of you." The serpent grinned evilly.

Zoidberg smiled for the first time that week. "For you, my friend?" he asked naïvely. "Anything!"

MetalSeadramon brought his tail close to his face and pointed to it with his tail. "Uh… I have an… itch on my nose and I was wondering if you could get it for me. Heh heh heh…"

Zoidberg scuttled closer, and just when he was close enough, MetalSeadramon immediately opened his mouth, clamped it around the lobster, and swallowed him in one gulp.

"Ah, that satisfies my hunger!" exclaimed MetalSeadramon. "For now… I'm still starvin'! WHERE'S ALL THE FISH???!!!"

Inside the sea serpent's small, stenchful stomach, Zoidberg looked around at his surroundings. Instead of frightened, the lobster felt furious. "I scratch your nose and you eat me! I tell you what, you are no longer Zoidberg's friend! You are his ENEMY! CRAAAAAW!" He squirted ink all over the stomach, which churned as it rejected the ink.

"Oh no!" realized MetalSeadramon. "Ink!" He quickly slithered onto shore because no one wants to swim in their own vomit.

In an instant, Zoidberg found himself back on the street. He stood up, put his claws on where his hips would have been, and glared at MetalSeadramon. "You are my enemy, and I'd eat YOU if I could make you a prawn!"

Suddenly, the Monkey Talisman glowed, and it shot a beam of light out at MetalSeadramon. It hit him, and the demon immediately shrank down from his immense form of a sea serpent into a prawn that flailed all over the sidewalk.

"Who's the tough guy now?" Zoidberg picked what used to be the Digi-Demon off the ground, then gleefully ate him. "Finally, a free meal for Zoidberg!"

Fry, Leela, Bender, Professor Farnsworth, and Jackie rushed up to where the lobster was, looking worried.

"Dr. Zoidberg, did you open the demon portal?" asked Leela. "If you didn't, we're here to fight MetalSeadramon."

"Metal… Seadramon?" asked the lobster, sounding guilty.

"Oh no… Zoidberg, did you let him get away?"

"Tell me, human, what did he look like?"

"Well, he was this huge, gold-plated sea serpent, about two hundred feet long with a hell of an appetite…"

"Uh oh."

"What do you mean by 'uh oh'?"

"…I ate him."

Leela gawked at her co-worker. Her eyeball looked as if it were about to pop out of its socket. "You… ate… a… two-hundred… foot… sea… serpent?"

"Yes, and I'm STILL HUNGRY! CRAAAAAAAAAAAW!"

"But… how did you do it?"

"I changed him into a PRAWN! NOW GIVE ME MORE PRAAAWNS!"

"The Monkey Talisman!" Jackie realized. His eyes lit up. "And as soon as Captain Brannigan arrives after sending Apocalymon back to the digital world, Dr. Zoidberg, I want you to give me the talisman, Dr. Zoidberg, and I promise you all the prawns you can eat!"

To be continued…