Touching You – 19/19

A/N – Thank you so much for the wildly encouraging feedback. It really fueled this story. That said, it really could go on and on and on for chapters, but I need to start on something new! So this is the end.

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Natalie stood at the window looking through her reflection and out over the night skyline of Llanview. The glare of the hospital waiting room lights washed out the color of her hair and the chill of the air conditioning made her shiver. She wrapped her arms around herself, partly to ward off the cold and partly in comfort.

She felt him before she heard him come up behind her. She tilted her head slightly and their eyes met in the glass' reflection. A strong shiver wracked her body when he put his warm hand on her shoulder.

"Michael said everything was healing fine, but he put in a few stitches anyway. He said to thank you for saving his brother's ass."

Natalie forced a smile, but it didn't meet her eyes.

"Hey." John put his other hand on her neck. "What's wrong?"

Natalie put her fingertips onto the window.

John began to stroke her hair as he waited for her to formulate her response.

"I don't want to do this again."

"Grieve?" he asked understandingly.

She nodded and leaned back against his body.

John wrapped his arms around her.

"He could be out there somewhere. Hiding. Kidnapped. Dead." She turned around and their eyes connected. "What do you think happened?"

"I think that he and Agent Kelly are hiding out on the run, just like we were. I think that we would have heard if anything had happened from someone that was arrested in the past week."

"What about the witness protection program?"

"That's a possibility too." John wished there was something he could say or do to make the pain disappear for her.

"Carlotta and Antonio never even got to see him again."

"They might again." John stroked her cheek.

"I'm not going to do this again." Natalie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes she forced a tentative smile.

"Surely you can do better than that?" John chuckled.

Natalie's smile brightened and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Do we have to go see your family tonight?"

"If we get it over with tonight we don't need to surface until, well, we need to go back to work."

"Well." John dragged the word out. "We won't be able to hide from Roxy at my place and we can't stay at Llanfair. Fancy a trip back to AC?"

"Can we ride the train again?"

John smiled, his lips hovering above hers. "I think that we could do that. We'll sit next to each other quietly. I'll put my arm around you." John slid his fingers under her shirt and teased the skin at her waist.

"John McBain, who knew you had a way with words?"

"It must be you. Touching you."

Natalie pressed forward the few final centimeters and initiated a kiss that they both felt down to their toes.

End

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Touching you.

I miss it.

Your scent.

I need it.

I let you go, but held on tight.

The way I miss you.

The way you ease me.

The way you kiss me.

The way you tease me.

Your smile.

I memorized it.

Your laugh.

It haunts dreams.

Words I could never say. Lies I couldn't not.

Now, you're gone.

Touching you.

I need it.

Your scent.

I miss it.

I need to find you. Though you were never mine to give away.

I sit in my chair and I work and I pray.

Because touching you.

I need it.

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