A/N Corner: If you watch anime or Star Trek, you'll probably get the simple but well hidden tributes to them. Kudos to whomever gets them all!

The Vogler Arc- now with 50 percent more snarkniess and evil!

"HAHAHA! Now I got Princeton in my hands again!"

Well, until the security guards threw out the fat, black man. Apparently he was someone "That was my snark target until Cuddy threw him out."

"He must be some bad guy, right?"

House looked at me. "Of course he is! Look at him-"

"Ahem."

We turned, and saw Foreman looking at House. "You better not be making a racist remark there."

"I wasn't going to. I was going to remark his fatness." House made a "humph" sound and stuck up his nose.

Foreman rolled his eyes and left. I looked at House, and he looked at me. "Shoo, kid. I'm having my 'Eliteist Englishman' moment."

I bit back my laughter, and just said, "Well, aren't you European?" I left, and saw Cuddy pass me and stare at House.

"House, stop being a drooling idiot and do your duty as a man and a doctor!"

"And what's that?"

"Honoring a lady's request and GETTING TO EXAM ROOM ONE!"

He looked at Cuddy, and then sighed. "I hate it when you remind me of my honor." He walked down to Exam Room One, and took me with him.

"Eh?"

"I need some…um, company."

I let go of his arm. "Oh, you have a crush on me, right?"

He looked at me. "I don't. I like people who had sex before- they know how to do it."

"Yeah, right. I know you want my goods!" And I took off my shirt. He stared at me, and so did the other doctors. House kept staring at them until I put it back on. He coughed, and waved everybody away.

"Okay, okay, I won't deny it. I want your goods." He took my hand anyway and dragged me down to the room, and closed the door. "What's your problem?"

"Hi, House."

He looked up. "Stacy."

Stacy looked at me, then at him. "Who's she?"

"Stacy." He put me down and then went up to her and looked at her eyes. "Nothing wrong."

"I came here to see you, idiot." And she planted a kiss on his lips. He stopped and let go.

"You're married. Don't make me tell you again."

"I told you that you were the one." Stacy looked at him, then squinted. "Oh, you like that girl, right?" She pointed at me.

"Yeah, I like that girl. She's more open and honest than you."

"I thought 'Everybody lies'."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't. Maybe because she's not from our time."

"House, I know you like me."

"Well, I don't now. Get out. I don't want to see you again."

"Hmph." And Stacy left.

For a moment I felt uneasy. I don't know why, but I sat there until House looked at me.

And then the door blew open, and the fat guy came in with a man behind him. House stared at the guy.

"Vogler. I see that you're wanting your checkup, yes?"

"No. I said I would destroy you. Q?"

Q? Oh, no, not that guy…that guy from Star Trek came with Vogler. He probably bribed Q into being with him. Great, omnipotence is rampant. So, I decided…

"Hi, I'm Stacy." I hugged Q. "I'm your biggest fan!"

"What is this, a Barbie?" Q looked at me. "Get off me!" He got me off with a snap. "Stacy, eh? You look like the woman stuck in Vogler's limo strapped with rope and taped."

"Stacy?" House asked. He looked like he was going insane. "You have Stacy? You motherfcking son of a bitch!"

"House, you have nothing against me. Q, send this guy somewhere. Like hell."

"Sure." Q snapped, and a portal appeared before House. "Buh-bye."

House was being sucked in, and he didn't care. So I grabbed him and tried to push him out, but instead got inside it myself with him.

"House?"

"Stacy…" He hugged me, and I blushed. He was warm.

And then we landed on something soft and comfy. Or maybe that was a red shirt guy.

"Oh, no, you killed the Red-shirt guy!"

"You bastard!" Someone yelled that was really familiar- talk about a deep voice for a lady.

I turned and stared into blue eyes and auburn hair and a Star Trek uniform. "Captain Janeway?"

"Oh, great, are you a fan of us too?"

House got off me. "Oh, my god, it's Captain Janeway!" He said it in a sarcastic tone. "Well, I did like Voyager, but not the writers behind it. Sheesh, that Warp 10 thing was too…" He shuddered.

Captain Janeway stared at House. "Oh, my god, you're House!" She hugged him. "You're so hot and sexy and smart!"

House looked at me. "Oh, great, they have me as a TV star? This is hell."

"So, you're saying that a Q sent you here?"

"Well, it wasn't the Q that tried to have sex with you." I sat horizontal on the chair, propping up my knees with the arm rest and looking at the officers. "Nope, it looked like Trelane."

"Trelane?" Chakotay asked. "Who the hell names their kid Trelane?"

I laughed. "Well, in fandom we speculate that he's a Q." I took out a nailboard and filed my nails. Janeway was still fawning over House, which freaked him out slightly that someone other than Princeton knew him. The officers were quiet and then left.

"Well, we could ask Q to help you guys out."

There was a flash, and Q appeared. "Well, with one snag. The world's closed." He sighed. "I hate Trelane. He's an idiot being bribed by some asshole of a businessman, and one that cheated me."

"Cheated you?" Janeway asked. "Are you Satan or something?"

"Of course I am. If I can appear to Picard as God, I can be Satan for others. And please let go of Gregg before he has a heart attack from freaking out. He already had an infarction."

"I know" Janeway said. "That's why I like him. He's crippled and hot...kyaaaa"

"She's in her 'kyaaaa' mode." Q looked slightly disgusted at that. "Anyway," he said, directing his attention to Chakotay and I, "I gave him money in the exchange that I have his soul. Unfortunately, he hired Trelane to protect him. Now he has a hot girl, Trelane, and his soul, and I can't do anything."

"Eh, that's my hot girl. That's her French name!" House said, standing up with his cane. "You get your hands off her."

"And, what are you going to do? You can't really do anything in that condition."

House smiled. "Panty peeler."

Q looked at him square in the eye. "Pervert."

"You would love Cuddy. She has the cleavage of a sex star."

"Yeah, well, you had sex with her. In your HOSPITAL BED FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

"Well, you tried to have sex with the Captain, and with the Romulan Empress, and a slug, and other myriad and weird things. And you can't just do it because they all hate you."

Q tried to open his mouth, then closed it. "I hate you, Gregory House."

"That's good because I hate everybody too." Janeway pulled down House. Q sighed, and looked at me. "So, you're Stacy. Ex?"

"Dunno. But I am from 2054."

"2054?" House stood up again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I dunno. But your era's just like mine. It doesn't matter." I blew on my nails. "So, Q, can you get us out?"

"Oh, once the other Q's decide what to do with Trelane and that fat guy."

"And that's when?"

"Depends. Could be a day, month, years, centuries from now."

He disappeared, then reappeared. "Oh, they decided."

"That's fast," House quipped. "I'd be faster if I COULD GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Chill, dawg."

"Woof, woof."

Q smiled, and said, "Well, they decided for me to take you on a trip."

"A TRIP?" House tried to grab his collar, but Starfleet uniforms don't have collars. So he grabbed Q's front. "You're not taking us home? I wanna be home!"

"Dawg, chill." Q took his hands off. "Take some Vicodin, play a Gameboy game. I hear the handsome doctor's getting a free trip."

"Can you clone Gregg?" Janeway asked.

Q glared. "No. I want you to suffer!" Q snapped his fingers, and the room changed into the Enterprise-E's ready room.

"Q, what's the meaning of this?" Picard asked. "Another fan intrusion into the Star Trek universe?"

"Yeah, if you count Stacy here a fan."

"Not a fan of Picard," I said. "Or Archer, for that matter." I stared around. "House?"

He had went off. I sighed and went after him, finding him in Sickbay, listening to Crusher on medical tech.

"Oh, I remember what I'm supposed to do." Q snapped, and we found ourselves again, on Voyager.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

"I want Vicodin," House said.

The Doctor looked at House. "What the heck is Vicodin?"

"Pain meds." House tapped his cane. "I hope he isn't a doctor. A doctor should know what Vicodin is!"

"I hope he isn't a doctor- what a horrible bedside manner!"

House squinted. "And do you even have a bedside manner? At least I have one!"

"You're a doctor, not a snark machine."

"You're not a doctor, but a hologram that wouldn't survive out of this stupid room."

"Advances in technology have enabled me-"

"Please. Use that technology and get a life!" House popped another Vicodin in his mouth.

The Doctor glared. "I have a life, and that's my business, Charming!"

"I'm nowhere near charming, but everybody thinks I'm sexier than hell. Weird." He looked at Q and I. "So, who's the bald guy?"

"The doctor on this ship."

House smirked. "Well, I pity everybody on this ship- well, except the redhead that fawns over me like I'm some god. She probably gets too much pity anyway."

Q snapped, and we were back with Crusher.

"Picard sent you guys?"

"No, Miss Picard, Mr. Picard has not sent us to you. We're on a tourist trip."

"WHAT?" Picard yelled, appearing from a pillar (hiding, apparently). "Tourist trip? OUT, OUT, I say! I want no tourists on some Q thing!"

"Mon dieu, what an ass," House quipped. Picard looked at him.

"You speak French?"

"And English, Spanish, Latin and Klingon. Well, Klingon as in cuss words and a few phrases when I watched Star Trek with my ex. She's a big fan of Kirk."

Picard lightned. "Come on, we have much to talk about."

And they left. I shrugged and sat on a bed. "Like that guy, Bev?"

"Yeah." She prepared some hyposprays. "Nice guy, but I hate caviar now. He insists on having it before bed. I told him it was bad but he still does it." She shuddered. "So, where are you from?"

"2054 Earth."

"Really. How far are you guys on travel and stuff?"

"Not far, actually. Hovercraft is about it. And maybe space travel with Virgin, if you can afford it."

"A pity."

"Not really. Everybody's about scared of space."

Meanwhile, at the Halloween Party Gregg's House:

"Stacy?" Greg called out. He knocked on the door, but got no answer. He opened the door, ready to get slapped, but found no one, and realized... "Oh, shit, she 's in my experiment disguised as a bathroom! Oh my god, why the hell did I dress up the stupid thing as a toilet?"