Author's Note: What up, my readers. Sorry to say, I can't say I will ever complete my old stories, but I can't quite lay them to rest either. I make no promises though. I hope you enjoy this new work I put out. I'm a bit rusty, but I'm proud of what I've worked on. I like it and I hope you do to.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, only my own thoughts and plots and O/C's if they come in. If I did own it though, I would have gave Leah a better ending. But that's why there's fanfiction - to give a story to the characters who never quite got one.
REWRITTEN AND REUPLOADED ON 06/06/2022
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Chapter One
It was a very long time ago that Leah last shed her human form for her wolf one. She gave up phasing altogether, but even so time left her human flesh unchanged. Her body stayed the exact same - strong and tall and young. She had come to terms that she might forever be this way. The bloodline she'd tried to forsake in order to return to a normal life was far too potent. There was no escaping it.
Even after leaving the reservation and the state of Washington entirely, she could not overcome it. Leah hadn't been able to alter her outward appearance much, but still she didn't stay the same - she refused too. What had changed was her - her insides and feelings and thoughts. She learned acceptance and peace. With meditation and isolation she had great control of her anger. Once she pushed past negative emotion, fueled not only by her wolf, but by her past and inner demons, she truly began to change (though not physically, of course). She had achieved not what one would call happiness, but something else far more valuable. She found inner peace - she earned it through putting herself through emotional hell.
Leag had even seen a therapist, sharing with him all of her misdoings and sins. Admitting all of the truth, from her betrayal from Sam, about her bitter closeness to her "brothers", to her father's death, and more. She obviously left out the werewolf parts, none too eager to reveal secrets that weren't hers to share - or to be locked up in a psych ward.
With a calm heart and a more than two years absence, she finally resolved to come home.
It felt strange, yet comforting, as she set foot on the land she knew every inch of. It was mapped so clearly in her mind. She remembered it the same way she remembered her own name.
Once getting off the plane and departing from the airport, she walked home. Not a feat for any normal person, but for her it was as simple as a stroll in the park, even in her human form. Leah knew it wouldn't be long before the remaining wolves, those left still unchanged after the Cullens' disappearance, would scent her arrival.
As if on cue, she heard paws bounding through the forest. Her senses were still excellent, as unchanged as the rest of her physical attributes. She couldn't quite place the gate, perhaps Embry or Paul.
As she sniffed the air, her suspicions were confirmed. It was Paul.
A large brown wolf, almost as huge as Sam or Jacob, flew out of the trees and came to a stop in front of her, spraying up dirt in her direction. He huffed, intelligent eyes regarding her. She brushed the dirt off her clothing, smirking at him.
"Long time, no see, Paul," Leah greeted. It was no surprise that as two of the angriest in the pack, they had not got along superbly well. Still she recognized him as her brother and pack member, and so she was glad to see him.
Paul suddenly whined, cocked his head, and then bared his teeth at her in what was almost a smile. Leah chuckled and gave him one in return.
She walked forward, but was hesitant to reach for him, sure he would cringe away at her touch. He didn't, even as her fingertips rested on his forehead.
Leah ran a hand through the fur between his ears in an incredibly uncharacteristic show of affection. It was soft, but as her hand retreated, she took with her whatever lingered in his coat.
"Still a dirty boy, I see," she laughed, showing him her hand, palm facing him and fingers stretched, indicating the layer of dirt that covered it. He had never been one to shower after a patrol, preferring to plop onto the nearest bed or couch for rest. He snarled at her, but it wasn't angry. It seemed playful and when she laughed again, his tongue only lolled out lazily in response.
Leah felt much lighter than the last time she had been standing on the rez. She felt good.
"Are any others phased?" she asked curiously. The wolf shook his head. "Good, don't let them know I'm here. I kind of want it to be a surprise." Paul gave her a quizzical look, before narrowing his eyes. He circled her, not aggressively, but in an assessing way. She chuckled, shoving him lightly against his muscled shoulder. "Relax, I meant a good surprise. I'm not here to cause any trouble."
The wolf snorted and shook her hand off. Leah rolled her eyes. Same old Paul, it would seem. She gave him another pat on the head anyway. "I want to go see my mother and Seth, but we'll catch up later, okay?"
He offered nothing in acknowledgement, but began to turn away. "Hey, Paul." His cocked his back to look at her. "It's really good to see you."
Paul opened his mouth and his large tongue lolled out, he even wagged his tail before giving a short bark in reply. She moved to head in the direction of her old house as Paul bounded out of sight.
It was time to go home.
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Her mother fussed over her as if she were a child. It felt good to be coddled. As independent as Leah had always tried to be, a part of her missed the childhood she grew out of too soon. First, by falling in love with Sam at fifteen. Second, by experiencing far more heartbreak and loss than most people far older than her at seventeen. And lastly, by becoming a wolf at nineteen. Though it was luckily older than many who had phased, especially the twelve and thirteen year olds who had transformed once the numerous witnesses for the Volturi arrived.
When her mother brushed her now long hair, discussing when dinner would be ready and reminding her to wash up, Leah didn't protest. It was good to feel young again. She sat in the chair in the kitchen as her mother worked, pretending she was thirteen and her father would soon walk through the door to announce he missed his little princess while he'd been at work.
It was only a fantasy and a memory, and both weren't meant to remain.
The she-wolf swooped Seth up in a bone crushing hug as soon as he set foot in the door (which he to no avail had tried to escape from). He was older and taller, but she still had height on him, and boy, was she stronger than him. Seth was still a wolf in blood, but Sam had ordered her brother, along with all of the other young wolves, to stop phasing after the Cullen's left. They needed to grow up. If after high school graduation rolled around and they still wished to, and still had the ability to phase, then they would be able to again.
She tried not to let her thoughts linger on the fact that though she too had gone as long, perhaps even longer, than her brother without relinquishing to her wolf, her own body refused to change. Leah swallowed back sadness at the thought she may never have a child. In the two long years of being gone, there wasn't even a single spot of blood. It was once something she dreaded; now it was something she desperately hoped for.
With a reluctant sigh, Leah stood to walk out the door to her home. She didn't know how long she planned to stay, but her heart seemed content here. It would be longer than a few days, that was for sure.
She needed to visit Sam.
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Sam's home seemed inviting to most. Enticing aromas of food drifted from the house and the warm smells of her brothers marked the entire place with their scent. The lights stayed on constantly as a beacon for any wolf, imprint, or family member who needed to stop by anytime of day or night.
As welcoming as it seemed, she couldn't help but see the invisible barrier she'd always felt uncomfortable passing through. It was almost like the treaty line, in a way. She couldn't see it, yet she sensed it and knew it existed. Leah knew where she wasn't wanted and she knew it was best to stay away.
She had been here so often, mostly for pack meetings, but sometimes for other reasons. However, it never felt right stepping foot into this house alone. It was similar to being in the Cullen's home: even when she was welcome, she wasn't truly welcome.
Nevertheless, she ignored the tightening in her chest. Taking deep breaths, she marched up the steps. Leah was a different person; she was a better person. She didn't want to feel bitterness towards her cousin and ex-fiance. She didn't want to feel anything towards them at all.
She rapped on the door three times before taking a step back. Leah was sure they heard and smelled her, probably long before she even made it up the steps. They knew who came to visit - there was no hiding herself away any longer. Still, a part of her felt like bolting right then and there, eager to escape any old feelings that might arise upon seeing everyone again.
The door opened hesitantly. It was Embry who peeked his head out, shyly looking at Leah as if he had done something wrong. She couldn't help the smile that crept up her face.
"Come on, Em. What? You think the big, bad wolf is at the door?" At that, the sheepishness disappeared and he grinned at her.
"I've missed you, Leah." She leaned back on her heels and gave him a shit-eating grin. He was one of her favorite packmates - a shy boy with an incredibly sweet side. Really and truly a good guy… which was why it was fun to mess with him.
She pointed to her currently clothed upper torso. "You probably just miss getting to sneak a peek before and after a phase, Embry." He blushed and opened his mouth. "Don't deny it, I've been inside that disgusting head of yours."
He ducked his head, not meeting her eyes, as he shoved her lightly. "Cut the crap, Leah. You're like a sister, you know."
She didn't shove him back or try to continue her banter with him any longer. "Yeah, I know," she smiled warmly.
"You seem happy," he said suddenly. It was her turn to feel awkward.
Leah crossed her arms over her body, almost protectively, as she admitted, "You know, I kind of am." To most it would seem an obvious realization, but Leah hadn't been familiar with happiness in a very long time. She was sure it must be something similar to this feeling of peace she was striving to hold onto. "You seem pretty much the same." And he did. Embry didn't seem to have grown or changed at all in the two years she'd been gone. Even the facial hair - a threadbare mustache and goatee - he was always attempting to grow looked the exact same.
Leah cleared her throat. "So, uh, where's Sam?" It was more of a question of, "why isn't Sam the one talking to me now?" rather than asking for his actual whereabouts. Leah knew where he was. He was inside this house. She could detect him as easily as she could Embry standing right in front of her.
Now, it was Embry's turn to be awkward, again. The sheepish look he had sported earlier returned. "He's eating dinner with Emily and some of the pack. He sent me out here for uh… recon?"
She barked a laugh, no real humor in it. Of course he had sweet, loveable Embry greet her. She wouldn't hurt a hair on his head, not unless he deserved it, of course. He had a place in her heart that was almost similar to Seth. They were similar souls - kind and upbeat and happy.
"Oh, come on, it's been two years. If I was going to stir up shit, I would have come back a lot sooner. And I sure as hell wouldn't have knocked."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Sam's hulking form moved to push Embry out of the way, coming to stand in the doorway. Embry turned to go back into the house, but not before giving Leah one last smile. She returned it.
With all the resolve she could muster, she faced Sam. It really wasn't her intent to cause any trouble, but the old Leah was just begging to say something to start a fight or get under his skin. She did her best to ignore those urges.
Sam stood tense, all muscles taut and ready to spring into action. He made sure to rise to his full height and block the entrance completely to obscure a view into his home. She rolled her eyes. He really was making a big to-do about nothing.
"Hello, Leah."
"Hello, Sam."
"Does your mother know you're home?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. Was he really so conceited to believe she would come to him before she even visited her family? Well, yes, he was. As an alpha, his thoughts singled him out as the most important factor in all the wolves lives, even hers, it would seem. And as for the human side of Sam, he'd already had somewhat of an ego before his transition into a wolf and a leader.
Leah refused to give into the anger that prickled at her skin in response to his words. "Of course. Seth too, obviously," she answered simply.
"Well, it's good to have you back." That was a lie. Or it was a half-truth. Either way, how he said it, he was trying to tug on her heart strings. She knew it. He was giving her that look that he thought gave him power of her. It was so sympathetic and pathetically affectionate. It used to have a hold on her, burying her in a hole of despair so deep she had no choice but to either cry for hours or attack someone in anger in order to dig herself out. No longer did it have the same effect. It almost made her disgusted, not at the way she felt about herself, but by his abuse of his power. It was entirely feasible he didn't understand what exactly he was doing, only that it earned a reaction that he wanted from her, usually self-loathing and obedience.
Leah was angry for a different reason than she would have been two years ago.
She wasn't here for a fight, she reminded herself.
"I'll probably be in town for awhile, I just thought I'd let you know." He nodded. As much she hated it, this was his territory. The best way to avoid creating conflict was to let him know what went on within it. "I won't be returning to the pack. I haven't phased in a long time." He seemed surprised by her words, eyeing her unchanged body up and down doubtfully. "And I don't plan to ever again," she added determinedly.
"So you haven't phased?" he asked, sounding unsure.
"Not in two years."
"It doesn't look that way."
She could feel herself bristle at his words; at the accusation in his voice.
"I'm no longer part of Jacob's pack. If I phased, you all would have known," she said quietly, anger brimming beneath her words, barely contained. "That doesn't matter, anyway. I won't come back. I'm done." He seemed to ponder this, before coming to some sort of conclusion. He didn't offer any other response besides the set of his jaw and the jerk of his chin. This conversation was over.
She could hear movement as someone got up from inside the house, making their way towards the them.
Paul.
There had always been some sort of bond between them she couldn't place. Maybe it was because they understood the anger that was inside them both. Maybe it was because although he always obeyed every word their alpha spoke and hid his inner monologue well, buried deep within his consciousness, Paul hated Sam too - at least a little bit. For what reasons, she didn't know, but probably ones that were much different from hers.
They fought with each other quite a bit, in human form and in wolf. Their words and brawls were never fueled the same as everyone else's. Their anger towards each other reached a stalemate, probably because they understood all too well what true rage felt like and the suffering it brought them both. They were an even match in that way and two people so similar could never truly hate each other.
Paul came to a stop, shoving Sam aside carelessly. Though he served as a perfect second in wolf form, Paul would be damned if that translated as easily into his human one. He was still an individual like her. He craved his freedom. Maybe that was why he hated Sam - or maybe he hated everybody.
"Oh, hey Leah," he nodded to her, eating a chicken leg nonchalantly. "Didn't think I'd see you again today." He said it as if he'd only seen her moments ago. Sam noticed. Paul had probably wanted him too.
"Did you know she was back?" Sam asked angrily, squaring up towards Paul.
"Yeah," he answered simply.
"When?"
"Ran across her while on patrol earlier." She noticed the second in command smirk, polishing off the last of the chicken.
Sam's eyes blazed with anger. "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.
"Didn't see why I'd need to," Paul shrugged.
Leah decided to step in, realizing her arrival was already causing issues. Paul was a match and she was the kindling.
"I asked him not to tell anyone. I wanted to talk in person." She noticed Lahote was watching her steadily. "Plus," she grumbled, "You would have come to see me anyway."
"Sam, honey, who's at the door? Just tell them to come in!" Emily's voice floated towards them, cheery and ignorant.
Leah smirked. She knew Sam wouldn't be able to resist the words of his imprint. He moved aside, motioning stiffly for her to come through the door. She didn't miss the quiet, "We'll talk later," directed stonily at Paul.
She really didn't want to be here, but old habits die hard, and watching Sam's uncomfortable face as she strode into his home was well worth her own discomfort.
She walked into the dining room, Sam and Paul both following her. Emily sat at the table, her eating slow and dainty compared to the ravenous wolves around her. As her cousin looked up, it hurt Leah, though she really didn't want it to, as Emily smiled brightly at her.
"Oh, Leah, you're home! We were all hoping you'd come back!" Her cousin seemed a little tense, even as she spoke the happy words, but her emotions seemed genuine.
It hurt to see Emily so pleased to see her, not because of the old feud of who loved who and who got to be with who, but because Leah couldn't express the same feeling in return. Emily was just another person to her. She was still family - still her cousin. It was likely Emily would always be someone she wanted to protect, mostly due to her imprint to Sam. Her wolf wouldn't let her forget her duties to her old pack.
Emily was also someone who had betrayed her. For Leah to let go of her hatred towards Emily was also to let go of the love she once felt for the girl. In some weird sense, they went hand in hand. To truly move on, she needed to cleanse herself of both. Maybe one day they would be able to build something upon their slate that Leah had so painstakingly wiped, but not today.
Nevertheless, Leah smiled back at her. It was small and somewhat forced, but it was easy to see it made Emily happy.
Suddenly, Leah's ears were met with a sound that wasn't unfamiliar, but very unexpected. It was small and muffled, but very distinguishable. A heart beat. Or two actually, both coming from Emily.
"You're pregnant," Leah blurted, unable to keep to realization from escaping her lips. Both Paul and Sam stiffened. She realized the statement came out bland and emotionless and probably even a little insulting. She forced herself to add, courteously, "Congratulations."
If Emily was offended by her, she didn't show it. Actually, she smiled proudly and blissfully, standing up to show off her small, but rounded belly.
"Thank you! I'm about four and a half months along now."
Quil, gobbling up copious amounts of food as he spoke, added, "Gonna be a puppy running around soon." Emily frowned and reached over to lightly smack him on the shoulder.
"Don't call my baby that. And remember your manners."
"Yeah, Quil, you're a wolf, not a pig. Though who could really tell the difference," Leah quipped smartly, eager to drag the attention away from Emily's baby. Everyone chuckled good naturedly, even Quil.
Leah wasn't allowed to have Sam. That was okay. Really, Leah didn't want him anymore. She just wanted to be rid of him and her ties to him. But she did want a baby, one day. And that was something she was really struggling not to be bitter over. There was heat in her stomach and her spine was on fire with how angry it made her feel. So she chose to ignore it, needing to process this alone.
"Well, I should be going, it was good to see everyone again." That was actually only a half lie. It really did bring her a strange satisfaction that sat deep within her bones by being with her pack again.
That didn't mean she wanted to be here a second longer.
"Please stay for dinner," Emily implored. She gestured to the feast around them. "I made enough to feed at least an army." There were quiet growls, none aimed particularly towards anyone. It was just the men growing possessive over the food they all wanted in their never-ending stomachs.
"No," Leah said a little too quickly as Emily's face fell. She cleared her throat. "I mean, I already ate dinner and mom's expecting me back home."
Her cousin nodded, seeming content with this answer. "Yes, of course. Aunt Sue missed you."
Leah nodded. "Well, have a good night and… congratulations again."
With that, she turned to leave. The pregnant woman called out after her, "Visit us again, please don't be strangers. Our door is always open!"
Sam's scowling features said differently as Leah left their house.
She didn't relax until she was far into the woods.
She didn't cry until she was tucked away deep under her covers, her sobs nearly undetectable as she covered her face with her pillow.
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I honestly hope this came out well. Or published well, anyway. It's hard to do from your phone, you know. But I've missed writing and this is the only outlet I have to share it. Here ya go, I hope you enjoyed! I did rewrite and reupload this chapter, so let me know if I did better this time around!
Let me know what you think!