Chapter Four
Morning came with the sound of songbirds merrily chirping in the trees about the house. Covering his head with the pillow, Drizzt just wanted to blot the sound out entirely. The pillow dampened a lot of the sound, so when the smell of cooking food hit his nose, he wondered who was up.
Two things entered his mind then. The first came with his growling stomach as he realised he was starving. The other came with the pressure building in his bladder.
Groaning, going red from embarrassment - a state he had been in all too frequently of late - he realised that he would need help to get outside so he could relieve himself.
Pulling himself into an upright position, the smell of food became stronger. The sound of humming coming from the kitchen made him chuckle. So it was Regis who was up and about. The halfling must have gotten permission to cook.
He was about to call out to his little friend to help him when Colt moved putting his head against his stomach.
"Colt, get off me." He whispered, suddenly aware that Catti-Brie was still asleep in the nearby chair. The wolf lifted its head, growled once, softly, and then put his head back down again. "Fine, lay on me all you want, but please get off my bladder."
Huffing, the wolf rolled over and onto the floor, his snout pushing gently into Drizzt's hand. Confused, Drizzt petted the animal on the head. Growling slightly, the wolf grabbed at his pants and began to gently pull.
Understanding lit up the ranger's face. Putting his hand on the wolf's back he stood up. "Lead the way." He announced quietly, glad that the animal was the one volunteering to take him out, though he thought it rather ironic.
By the time he was done outside and had stepped back in, the grouchy grumbling of Bruenor had joined the happy humming of Regis.
Determined to act as if nothing was wrong, he walked into the kitchen, hungrily licking his lips. He was led to a chair and sat down, but refused to look at any particular spot for too long.
"Hope you don't mind soup for breakfast." Regis called out, happy to have free reign over the kitchen.
Drizzt chuckled again. "I'm starving. Soup sounds brilliant and smells even better." To show he meant it, he took a deep breath of the soup- smelling air and licked his lips again.
"Bah!" Grumbled Bruenor. "Soup not be right fer breakfast. It is all Rumblebelly can cook though."
Regis laughed quietly at this. "Be thankful I can cook. Not as good as Drizzt maybe, but I can make a decent meal . . . soup or otherwise."
"You like my cooking. I'm honoured." Drizzt replied, smiling slightly.
"Mighten ye be makin' dinner fer us tonight, then?" Bruenor hopefully asked, obviously not happy with the halfling's cooking skills.
Drizzt's smile suddenly turned into a frown at that. "I don't think so." He answered, suddenly wondering if he ever would be able to do so again. Sighing, he closed his eyes and shook his head. He shouldn't dwell on thoughts like that. He was hoping his sudden blindness would right itself in time.
He was brought out of his introspection when a bowl of delicious smelling soup was put in front of him. A spoon following to be placed next to it. He shocked his two friends by lifting the bowl directly to his lips and draining the contents faster than looked possible. He asked for more.
He drank another bowlful before finally picking up the spoon for the third helping.
"Iffen ye keep on eatin' like that, ye'll end up as round as Regis." Came the voice of Catti-Brie. Laughter next to hers, rumbling deep in Wulfgar's chest, followed.
"That is all we need. Two Regis'. Could you really imagine Drizzt that round though?" The barbarian said, in a lighter mood today.
"Aye, an' I'll be bettin' he'll be as terrible with his eatin' as well." Bruenor announced, keeping the mood light.
Drizzt laughed at the dwarf's comment. "And that coming from you, Bruenor. I thought I was too skinny and needed to eat more." He finished off his soup and sighed satisfied, his belly now full. "I can't remember the last time I ate, give me a break. I was starving."
"We forgive you." Wulfgar said, though the look on Bruenor's face stated otherwise.
Drizzt stayed at the table as the other's ate, listening to the conversation going on around him and speaking his own points and comments when he wanted to. It felt good to be acting so . . . normal with his friends.
When the door opened again, he froze, siting up straight and staring at whatever was directly in front of him. Slowly, he lowered his head to his hands, suddenly thinking of the fight he had been in the night before. He groaned at how stupid he had been.
Regis handed the elf a bowl of his soup to her and sat her down as far away from him as possible.
"Gods, you will never know how sorry I am for attacking you like that." Drizzt said in an attempted apology. His mind kept telling him it wasn't enough though. "I am so sorry." He repeated.
He felt her staring at him, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
She had an idea, but she couldn't yet be sure. She began to piece together anything she could get. First, he was avoiding not only looking at her but at his closest friends as well. Colt was sitting straight at his side, the drow's hand resting lightly on the wolf's back. Last night he had been clutching, quite scared, at the doorframe. He had started to say something but cut off his sentence, asking Catti-Brie where she was. When she had tried to touch him to calm him down, he had scuttled away from her. The biggest hint to her was when he had suddenly attacked her after she had asked him what he could see.
She silently gasped in sudden realisation, her thoughts and ideas finally clicking into place. She stared harder at the drow, before lowering her head. "I forgive you. I will never forget, but I do forgive you."
Drizzt was so surprised to hear Lyavain say that after what he had done to her that he jumped to his feet, sending the chair he had been sitting on to its side a few feet away. He had the sudden feeling of being on a tiny island that was quickly sinking.
Without thinking, he took a step backwards. The brush of fur under his fingers from the forgotten wolf sent Drizzt back a couple more steps, only for him to trip over the chair. Once again he was overwhelmed by anger, this time directed at the chair and himself.
This time though, he was determined not o lash out. A sneer made its way across his features and his hands balled in angry fist, but he managed to calm himself down rather quickly.
His anger disappearing a few minutes later was replaced by a sudden feeling of resignation so strong, he thought of staying on the floor where he was until he died.
His friends all became rather frightened when the light that lit up his lavender eyes, no matter how hard things got, was suddenly gone. A gentle sigh escaped his lips and Catti-Brie, with insight to what happened last night realised he was giving in. This was too much for him to handle with only one person knowing.
She knew he had to get him to tell the others. It would probably help to let him know that he was not as alone as he felt.
Walking over to him, he slowly turned his head to stare at where her feet should be. "Catti-Brie?" He asked.
"Aye, it's me. Ye should be tellin' the others, ye know. Ye will probably feel better."
He slowly shook his head, no. "You should all just go. Leave me here."
He didn't move so much as a muscle as he felt the gentle touch on his shoulder, before he was pulled into a hug.
"I'll not be leavin' ye." She said gently, letting the hug go to push him back at arms length so she could see his eyes. They remained without that spark of life.
Again he shook his head. "I'll just hurt someone else. I'm useless now anyway. I can't even stand without falling down again."
Catti-Brie found herself blinking away tears. "I'm not fer carin' if ye hurt me or not. Or if ye hurt Bruenor, or Regis, or Wulfgar. All I be knowin' is that ye've gotta stay with us, no matter how hard it gets. We'll always be here fer ye. Ye know that."
A flash of that light finally appeared as her words sank in. "I'm sorry." He whispered, moving in to hug the human woman close. "It's just really hard to accept."
Catti-Brie nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I'll help ye to yer feet."
Nodding silently, he accepted the help. His feet felt like rubber and he had a hard time getting them underneath his body to get up even with the help. His thoughts were all hazy except for one. 'I have to tell them' kept repeating itself inside his mind.
As soon as he was on his feet, he clung to Catti-Brie like a lifeline. "I don't think I can do this. How do I tell them? I couldn't even tell you out loud."
"'Them' are all in the room too, you know." Called out Regis.
"Aye, ye durned elf. Ye told me last night that ye'd be tellin' us what be wrong with ye." Though he was rather gruff by nature, the dwarf said this in such a way that it came out almost too kindly. Bruenor didn't care.
"I don't know what you two were whispering while on the floor, but it is clear that something is wrong. Maybe telling us will help." Wulfgar added.
While Drizzt's friends were trying to coax him into telling them what was wrong, Lyavain walked out of the room and then out of the house. She was quite glad when she found Colt waiting for her outside. Walking to a favourite spot of hers near a stream, she sat down on a long-ago fallen log and listened to the sounds of the forest around her. She had a bit of thinking to do.
Back inside, Drizzt was trying to say what wrong, but was failing miserably. He had not once gotten past the 'I' in the three-word sentence.
His anger flared again at his own stupidity. He let go of Catti-Brie, not wanting to hurt her, and stormed off. Arms slightly out in front of him, he wasn't surprised when he smacked into a wall. He hit the wall hard with his fists once, twice, thrice, until his hands were aching. He then began to trace the wall with his fingers trying to find the door.
He heard Catti-Brie walking towards him. He turned sideways, keeping one hand on the wall, the other waving her away. "I can do this on my own." He growled out, determined not to be totally dependant on everyone else. He began his walking again when he felt Catti-Brie cross her arms.
His three male friends were watching him in amused curiosity. Regis being smaller than the other two saw it when Wulfgar and Bruenor couldn't. Lyavain had left her chair out and in the way. Deciding to push it in, he was stopped by an irate Drizzt, who didn't want any help in what looked to the halfling like tracing the perimeter of the room with his fingertips.
Catti-Brie grabbed her little friend and moved him away, telling him in no uncertain terms, not to tell Drizzt about the chair in his way.
Gaining confidence that the door was close by, Drizzt picked up his pace, a small smile of satisfaction lighting up his face. He could do this! It was then that he hit the chair and once again ended up on the floor. He punched and kicked the piece of furniture into kindling almost.
"Why didn't you tell me the chair was there!?" He yelled to the halfling.
"You wouldn't let me move it out of the way." Regis said, his voice small, his friend making him feel shorter than his three-foot frame.
"Catti-Brie? Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Ye were determined ter do this all on yer own. That would include findin' anything in yer way and moving it. If ye had stayed at yer slower speed, ye wouldn't have fallen."
"That is unfair. You know I couldn't see the damned thing. I'm blind for the Gods' sake."
He could practically hear the smile that formed on Catti-Brie's face. It took him a few seconds to realise why. He had said it without even meaning to and what was worse, he had shouted it out loud for half the forest to hear.
He wanted to find the door and disappear right now, the silence in the room driving him crazy. He found his legs stuck in what was left of the chair, keeping him where he was.
He could feel himself beginning to shake as what he had said finally sunk in. It wasn't all some bad dream, and he suddenly had the feeling that even if it wasn't permanent, he would have to be waiting a while for it to heal.
He didn't notice the silent tears as they fell down his face. He had only felt like this a few times and each time had been when someone he loved had died. They had all gotten back Wulfgar, but he was reminded of when they had lost him to the yochlol.
This time, he didn't complain when he was freed from the wood on his legs and was stood up and led out of the kitchen. All four of his friends close by, comforting him. He managed to smile a little as Catti-Brie summoned Guenhwyvar there. All six stayed in relative silence, Drizzt and Guenhwyvar on the couch, the panther too big for it to be comfortable, but doing all she could to comfort her master.
The other four realised that, even though nobody had died, their friend was grieving.
Lyavain wisely left the group of friends to themselves and never went home that night.
A/N - Sorry about the ending of this chapter. I didn't know how to write it properly. Hope it's ok. Looky, angst! I love angst. Lets hope he feels better soon, though. Thanks go to She-Cat, Alexandra Dragonhart, Shandrial, Katie, DragonEyeZ and LirielMe for reviewing. Oh, and sorry about the questions in the last chapter. I actually meant to take them out, ah well. As to those questions . . . look deeper, as there are more than one answer to most of them * winks *.
Morning came with the sound of songbirds merrily chirping in the trees about the house. Covering his head with the pillow, Drizzt just wanted to blot the sound out entirely. The pillow dampened a lot of the sound, so when the smell of cooking food hit his nose, he wondered who was up.
Two things entered his mind then. The first came with his growling stomach as he realised he was starving. The other came with the pressure building in his bladder.
Groaning, going red from embarrassment - a state he had been in all too frequently of late - he realised that he would need help to get outside so he could relieve himself.
Pulling himself into an upright position, the smell of food became stronger. The sound of humming coming from the kitchen made him chuckle. So it was Regis who was up and about. The halfling must have gotten permission to cook.
He was about to call out to his little friend to help him when Colt moved putting his head against his stomach.
"Colt, get off me." He whispered, suddenly aware that Catti-Brie was still asleep in the nearby chair. The wolf lifted its head, growled once, softly, and then put his head back down again. "Fine, lay on me all you want, but please get off my bladder."
Huffing, the wolf rolled over and onto the floor, his snout pushing gently into Drizzt's hand. Confused, Drizzt petted the animal on the head. Growling slightly, the wolf grabbed at his pants and began to gently pull.
Understanding lit up the ranger's face. Putting his hand on the wolf's back he stood up. "Lead the way." He announced quietly, glad that the animal was the one volunteering to take him out, though he thought it rather ironic.
By the time he was done outside and had stepped back in, the grouchy grumbling of Bruenor had joined the happy humming of Regis.
Determined to act as if nothing was wrong, he walked into the kitchen, hungrily licking his lips. He was led to a chair and sat down, but refused to look at any particular spot for too long.
"Hope you don't mind soup for breakfast." Regis called out, happy to have free reign over the kitchen.
Drizzt chuckled again. "I'm starving. Soup sounds brilliant and smells even better." To show he meant it, he took a deep breath of the soup- smelling air and licked his lips again.
"Bah!" Grumbled Bruenor. "Soup not be right fer breakfast. It is all Rumblebelly can cook though."
Regis laughed quietly at this. "Be thankful I can cook. Not as good as Drizzt maybe, but I can make a decent meal . . . soup or otherwise."
"You like my cooking. I'm honoured." Drizzt replied, smiling slightly.
"Mighten ye be makin' dinner fer us tonight, then?" Bruenor hopefully asked, obviously not happy with the halfling's cooking skills.
Drizzt's smile suddenly turned into a frown at that. "I don't think so." He answered, suddenly wondering if he ever would be able to do so again. Sighing, he closed his eyes and shook his head. He shouldn't dwell on thoughts like that. He was hoping his sudden blindness would right itself in time.
He was brought out of his introspection when a bowl of delicious smelling soup was put in front of him. A spoon following to be placed next to it. He shocked his two friends by lifting the bowl directly to his lips and draining the contents faster than looked possible. He asked for more.
He drank another bowlful before finally picking up the spoon for the third helping.
"Iffen ye keep on eatin' like that, ye'll end up as round as Regis." Came the voice of Catti-Brie. Laughter next to hers, rumbling deep in Wulfgar's chest, followed.
"That is all we need. Two Regis'. Could you really imagine Drizzt that round though?" The barbarian said, in a lighter mood today.
"Aye, an' I'll be bettin' he'll be as terrible with his eatin' as well." Bruenor announced, keeping the mood light.
Drizzt laughed at the dwarf's comment. "And that coming from you, Bruenor. I thought I was too skinny and needed to eat more." He finished off his soup and sighed satisfied, his belly now full. "I can't remember the last time I ate, give me a break. I was starving."
"We forgive you." Wulfgar said, though the look on Bruenor's face stated otherwise.
Drizzt stayed at the table as the other's ate, listening to the conversation going on around him and speaking his own points and comments when he wanted to. It felt good to be acting so . . . normal with his friends.
When the door opened again, he froze, siting up straight and staring at whatever was directly in front of him. Slowly, he lowered his head to his hands, suddenly thinking of the fight he had been in the night before. He groaned at how stupid he had been.
Regis handed the elf a bowl of his soup to her and sat her down as far away from him as possible.
"Gods, you will never know how sorry I am for attacking you like that." Drizzt said in an attempted apology. His mind kept telling him it wasn't enough though. "I am so sorry." He repeated.
He felt her staring at him, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
She had an idea, but she couldn't yet be sure. She began to piece together anything she could get. First, he was avoiding not only looking at her but at his closest friends as well. Colt was sitting straight at his side, the drow's hand resting lightly on the wolf's back. Last night he had been clutching, quite scared, at the doorframe. He had started to say something but cut off his sentence, asking Catti-Brie where she was. When she had tried to touch him to calm him down, he had scuttled away from her. The biggest hint to her was when he had suddenly attacked her after she had asked him what he could see.
She silently gasped in sudden realisation, her thoughts and ideas finally clicking into place. She stared harder at the drow, before lowering her head. "I forgive you. I will never forget, but I do forgive you."
Drizzt was so surprised to hear Lyavain say that after what he had done to her that he jumped to his feet, sending the chair he had been sitting on to its side a few feet away. He had the sudden feeling of being on a tiny island that was quickly sinking.
Without thinking, he took a step backwards. The brush of fur under his fingers from the forgotten wolf sent Drizzt back a couple more steps, only for him to trip over the chair. Once again he was overwhelmed by anger, this time directed at the chair and himself.
This time though, he was determined not o lash out. A sneer made its way across his features and his hands balled in angry fist, but he managed to calm himself down rather quickly.
His anger disappearing a few minutes later was replaced by a sudden feeling of resignation so strong, he thought of staying on the floor where he was until he died.
His friends all became rather frightened when the light that lit up his lavender eyes, no matter how hard things got, was suddenly gone. A gentle sigh escaped his lips and Catti-Brie, with insight to what happened last night realised he was giving in. This was too much for him to handle with only one person knowing.
She knew he had to get him to tell the others. It would probably help to let him know that he was not as alone as he felt.
Walking over to him, he slowly turned his head to stare at where her feet should be. "Catti-Brie?" He asked.
"Aye, it's me. Ye should be tellin' the others, ye know. Ye will probably feel better."
He slowly shook his head, no. "You should all just go. Leave me here."
He didn't move so much as a muscle as he felt the gentle touch on his shoulder, before he was pulled into a hug.
"I'll not be leavin' ye." She said gently, letting the hug go to push him back at arms length so she could see his eyes. They remained without that spark of life.
Again he shook his head. "I'll just hurt someone else. I'm useless now anyway. I can't even stand without falling down again."
Catti-Brie found herself blinking away tears. "I'm not fer carin' if ye hurt me or not. Or if ye hurt Bruenor, or Regis, or Wulfgar. All I be knowin' is that ye've gotta stay with us, no matter how hard it gets. We'll always be here fer ye. Ye know that."
A flash of that light finally appeared as her words sank in. "I'm sorry." He whispered, moving in to hug the human woman close. "It's just really hard to accept."
Catti-Brie nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I'll help ye to yer feet."
Nodding silently, he accepted the help. His feet felt like rubber and he had a hard time getting them underneath his body to get up even with the help. His thoughts were all hazy except for one. 'I have to tell them' kept repeating itself inside his mind.
As soon as he was on his feet, he clung to Catti-Brie like a lifeline. "I don't think I can do this. How do I tell them? I couldn't even tell you out loud."
"'Them' are all in the room too, you know." Called out Regis.
"Aye, ye durned elf. Ye told me last night that ye'd be tellin' us what be wrong with ye." Though he was rather gruff by nature, the dwarf said this in such a way that it came out almost too kindly. Bruenor didn't care.
"I don't know what you two were whispering while on the floor, but it is clear that something is wrong. Maybe telling us will help." Wulfgar added.
While Drizzt's friends were trying to coax him into telling them what was wrong, Lyavain walked out of the room and then out of the house. She was quite glad when she found Colt waiting for her outside. Walking to a favourite spot of hers near a stream, she sat down on a long-ago fallen log and listened to the sounds of the forest around her. She had a bit of thinking to do.
Back inside, Drizzt was trying to say what wrong, but was failing miserably. He had not once gotten past the 'I' in the three-word sentence.
His anger flared again at his own stupidity. He let go of Catti-Brie, not wanting to hurt her, and stormed off. Arms slightly out in front of him, he wasn't surprised when he smacked into a wall. He hit the wall hard with his fists once, twice, thrice, until his hands were aching. He then began to trace the wall with his fingers trying to find the door.
He heard Catti-Brie walking towards him. He turned sideways, keeping one hand on the wall, the other waving her away. "I can do this on my own." He growled out, determined not to be totally dependant on everyone else. He began his walking again when he felt Catti-Brie cross her arms.
His three male friends were watching him in amused curiosity. Regis being smaller than the other two saw it when Wulfgar and Bruenor couldn't. Lyavain had left her chair out and in the way. Deciding to push it in, he was stopped by an irate Drizzt, who didn't want any help in what looked to the halfling like tracing the perimeter of the room with his fingertips.
Catti-Brie grabbed her little friend and moved him away, telling him in no uncertain terms, not to tell Drizzt about the chair in his way.
Gaining confidence that the door was close by, Drizzt picked up his pace, a small smile of satisfaction lighting up his face. He could do this! It was then that he hit the chair and once again ended up on the floor. He punched and kicked the piece of furniture into kindling almost.
"Why didn't you tell me the chair was there!?" He yelled to the halfling.
"You wouldn't let me move it out of the way." Regis said, his voice small, his friend making him feel shorter than his three-foot frame.
"Catti-Brie? Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Ye were determined ter do this all on yer own. That would include findin' anything in yer way and moving it. If ye had stayed at yer slower speed, ye wouldn't have fallen."
"That is unfair. You know I couldn't see the damned thing. I'm blind for the Gods' sake."
He could practically hear the smile that formed on Catti-Brie's face. It took him a few seconds to realise why. He had said it without even meaning to and what was worse, he had shouted it out loud for half the forest to hear.
He wanted to find the door and disappear right now, the silence in the room driving him crazy. He found his legs stuck in what was left of the chair, keeping him where he was.
He could feel himself beginning to shake as what he had said finally sunk in. It wasn't all some bad dream, and he suddenly had the feeling that even if it wasn't permanent, he would have to be waiting a while for it to heal.
He didn't notice the silent tears as they fell down his face. He had only felt like this a few times and each time had been when someone he loved had died. They had all gotten back Wulfgar, but he was reminded of when they had lost him to the yochlol.
This time, he didn't complain when he was freed from the wood on his legs and was stood up and led out of the kitchen. All four of his friends close by, comforting him. He managed to smile a little as Catti-Brie summoned Guenhwyvar there. All six stayed in relative silence, Drizzt and Guenhwyvar on the couch, the panther too big for it to be comfortable, but doing all she could to comfort her master.
The other four realised that, even though nobody had died, their friend was grieving.
Lyavain wisely left the group of friends to themselves and never went home that night.
A/N - Sorry about the ending of this chapter. I didn't know how to write it properly. Hope it's ok. Looky, angst! I love angst. Lets hope he feels better soon, though. Thanks go to She-Cat, Alexandra Dragonhart, Shandrial, Katie, DragonEyeZ and LirielMe for reviewing. Oh, and sorry about the questions in the last chapter. I actually meant to take them out, ah well. As to those questions . . . look deeper, as there are more than one answer to most of them * winks *.