Chapter Eight
Silverymoon was as grand a place as always to the five who could see it. To Drizzt it was a deafening, frightening place full of unknown troubles. As soon as they had entered the city, he had wanted nothing more than to run screaming back into the Moonwood.
When he was gently led into the palace that was home to Alustriel, he sighed in relief at the drop in noise. That didn't stop the pounding in his head that matched the rhythm of the throbbing in his arm. By the time he was led to his room, he wished for nothing other than a dagger to the back to ease him out of his pain and misery.
Once again his mood had changed, this time back to cranky drow. He was tired, as once again he hadn't slept the night before, and all he wanted was to be left alone. Luckily his friends saw this and left him to his introspection.
Five minutes later, he began to doze off, the comfortable silence making him very drowsy. That, along with the sleepless night, soon had his eyes drooping closed. In next to no time, he had fallen into a deep sleep.
He didn't wake until the next morning. The sun had disappeared behind a thick layer of cloud and rain was gently falling onto the parched land. Summer in Faerun could be just as harsh in some places as winter. The mountainous places he ended up living in were no exception.
Drizzt stretched, happy to hear the fall of rain on the windows of his room. Having slept in a proper bed, instead of having hard soil under his back, improved the formidable mood he had been in the day before. For once, he was content to lie in bed and let the day pass around him.
He had just decided to go listen to the rainfall at the window when Alustriel decided to visit him. With a large breakfast tray packed with food, she gently made her way towards her drow friend.
"Good morning! Since you slept through dinner last night, I thought you might be hungry." The woman announced, giving the tray over to Drizzt.
"Thank you." Was all the reply he gave. Feeling the weight of the tray, he realized he would not be eating it all. Shifting slightly, he was rewarded with the sound of cutlery clanging. Picking up what he hoped to be a fork, he began to eat.
The food was excellent and soon he had had his fill and gave the tray back to Alustriel. Without so much as a word, she once again took the tray, this time leaving the room and its drow occupant alone.
Without much thought, Drizzt moved to the window and stared blankly out of it. The weather was beginning to resemble his emotions was his guess, as the sudden downpour was beginning to make him sad.
He let his tears fall. So caught up was he in the emotions storming inside him, he never heard the door open. A minute later and he found himself being comforted by his new elven friend.
Tarathiel stayed with him until the angry tears had stopped. Believing he would feel like an idiot after, he was surprised when he ended up feeling a little better. Wiping away the traces of tears, he soon looked in the direction of the elf holding him and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess I needed that."
The moon elf chuckled and let go. "That's ok. You are still trying to get used to everything that has happened. I would not be able to take it as well as you have."
Drizzt frowned. "I would not say I am taking this well at all. Sometimes . . . I keep on thinking that death might be better than this. I scared myself the first time that thought came into my head." He sighed. "Those thoughts stopped thankfully."
Tarathiel nodded, understanding of a kind shining in his eyes. "It is hard to live with, but you will live. I had similar feelings and thoughts when my family was killed."
Drizzt didn't know what to say so he kept his mouth closed, once again listening to the sounds of rain falling. Now it felt nice to be sharing the quiet with someone but a conversation he had a while ago with Bruenor popped into his head.
"Have you made very many friends with the shorter lived races?" He asked, wanting to know if the only other elf he had ever trusted had been friends with a human before.
Tarathiel shifted on his seat. "Not really. I mainly stay with the elves in the Moonwood or the surrounding areas. 'Stick to your own kind or you will be hurt' was a saying I was always told as an elfling. I had a restless spirit and couldn't keep still for very long. Wanderlust took me at an early age . . . I traveled, went back home and settled down."
Drizzt listened to the Moon elf's words and a dull ache of loss began in his heart. "I truly am a fool am I not?! Why can I not find someone who will stay with me for centuries instead of a few decades." He sighed loudly. "What a foolish thing to do . . ." He muttered the last to himself quietly.
"What did you do?" asked Tarathiel.
Drizzt stared at the elf. "I made friends with them, I love them for always being there. I fell in love with one of them in a deeper way and now . . . I am so confused with everything right now."
Tarathiel stared at him, like as if he was going insane. "I don't know what to do! I have never felt like I do for Catti-Brie with anyone before. I'm so young and now I need all of my friends more than ever and I am afraid that I might make things worse if I act on my feelings." He stopped to take a deep breath, looked down at the sheets still covering him, before burying his head in his hands. "What do I do?"
Tarathiel shrugged, knowing full well that Drizzt couldn't see the action. Silent support was what the drow needed right now. Someone to be with him as he thought his way through his problems.
Drizzt sighed after a time and went to stand. "Thank you for listening to me. Even if you do think me mad." He said, before making his slow way towards the door. As his hands found the wood of the doorframe, he smiled. He would be able to do this. He just needed patience.
Opening the door, he was surprised to run into someone standing next to the door on the other side. "The Lady asked me to take you to see her." Came an unfamiliar voice of a female guard.
Sighing, he nodded. Of course she would have to have known about his current ... ailment. The thought that he didn't tell her himself made his anger rise again. Not being careful, he walked into an open door and sprawled across the floor.
The guard didn't know what hit her as she tried to help him up. All she knew was there was a crazy drow in front of her.
Drizzt lashed out. Much like he had done to Lyavain, but the guard knew how to protect herself. In no time it seemed to Drizzt, he tired out. Panting for breath he got to his feet and started to walk off to where he thought Alustriel's room to be.
Fortunately, Alustriel had heard the fight and waited outside the door for her friend in trouble. Drizzt scowled in her direction, when she called out his name. She frowned back, not fully understanding why he was beating up her guards.
"Come in here and sit down." She said, before going back into the room, she then watched every stumble her drow friend took to reach the chair in front of her. She kept almost constantly tapping her foot so Drizzt knew where she was.
"This is very difficult. You realize that, do you not?!" Drizzt spat out, before he could stop himself. He crossed his arms and leaned down into the chair, aware he was acting like a child, but not caring.
"You are angry. I don't understand what you are going through, but I understand that anger. You just want what ails you to go away."
At this, Drizzt stood back up again and began to pace, counting his steps so he didn't go further than he felt he needed to. "Of course I want this over with. Losing my sight for any given moment of time was not something I had ever planned on happening. I am scared, I am angry, I cry over the most stupid things...."
Losing the chair in his pacing, he sat down on the ground and buried his head. He refused to let tears fall again, not so close to the last time. Breathing deeply, he managed to calm down. "Please, I beg, make it better." He was suddenly groveling at the Lady's feet.
All attempts at keeping his emotions in check crumpled like he himself did. Within seconds he went hysterical, not knowing why only that he didn't want to think what would happen if she couldn't fix his eyesight. He laughed shrilly, even as once again the angry tears found their way down his face.
Soon the laughter stopped and, unlike the other times, he couldn't stop crying. This was it! If she couldn't help him, then he doubted anyone could.
He didn't want this! He wanted to be running insane into a lair of giants, or battling a dragon with all his friends by his side. He wanted to go back to the caves of Mithral Hall and hunt the goblins that live in the lower tunnels. He would rather fight every drow from Menzoberranzan, but at the same time, he wished for fishing by one of the lakes in Ten Towns, living a quiet life.
All he truly wanted was his sight back.
His sobs were picking up a crowd, as he soon had his friends by his side, including Delly Curtie and little Colson.
It was nice not to be alone while he was breaking down. A part of him was glad he had his friends by his side, while the other part of him desperately wished his friends didn't have to see him so...weak.
He wasn't aware enough to hear a word any were saying, too caught up in the sudden release of pain he had been trying to hide for days. He had cried, yes. He had released tears and anger, but this was something even more deep.
All his doubt, fear, anger, confusion and even a little of his hope was being released. There was no calming this storm down.
After a long while, his body decided it had had enough and he was left exhausted on the bed in Alustriel's private room. His friends were all talking quietly to the Lady of Silverymoon. He couldn't be bothered trying to listen.
Feeling like the world was about to end, he drifted asleep.
A/N - Wow! Look, updated. Sorry it took so long. This chapter has been on my computer for a while now, it just wouldn't upload (damn ff.net!) Hope you all enjoy!
Thanks again to my reviewers. Again there were 9. Awww, I really love you people. Lol, so thanks to Dark Elf, LunaLillium, Katie, Sirithiliel, ChichiX, Nebethut, Alexandra Dragonhart, DragonEyeZ and Carlin Robertson. You people are so kind to me. Please don't forget to review again!
Silverymoon was as grand a place as always to the five who could see it. To Drizzt it was a deafening, frightening place full of unknown troubles. As soon as they had entered the city, he had wanted nothing more than to run screaming back into the Moonwood.
When he was gently led into the palace that was home to Alustriel, he sighed in relief at the drop in noise. That didn't stop the pounding in his head that matched the rhythm of the throbbing in his arm. By the time he was led to his room, he wished for nothing other than a dagger to the back to ease him out of his pain and misery.
Once again his mood had changed, this time back to cranky drow. He was tired, as once again he hadn't slept the night before, and all he wanted was to be left alone. Luckily his friends saw this and left him to his introspection.
Five minutes later, he began to doze off, the comfortable silence making him very drowsy. That, along with the sleepless night, soon had his eyes drooping closed. In next to no time, he had fallen into a deep sleep.
He didn't wake until the next morning. The sun had disappeared behind a thick layer of cloud and rain was gently falling onto the parched land. Summer in Faerun could be just as harsh in some places as winter. The mountainous places he ended up living in were no exception.
Drizzt stretched, happy to hear the fall of rain on the windows of his room. Having slept in a proper bed, instead of having hard soil under his back, improved the formidable mood he had been in the day before. For once, he was content to lie in bed and let the day pass around him.
He had just decided to go listen to the rainfall at the window when Alustriel decided to visit him. With a large breakfast tray packed with food, she gently made her way towards her drow friend.
"Good morning! Since you slept through dinner last night, I thought you might be hungry." The woman announced, giving the tray over to Drizzt.
"Thank you." Was all the reply he gave. Feeling the weight of the tray, he realized he would not be eating it all. Shifting slightly, he was rewarded with the sound of cutlery clanging. Picking up what he hoped to be a fork, he began to eat.
The food was excellent and soon he had had his fill and gave the tray back to Alustriel. Without so much as a word, she once again took the tray, this time leaving the room and its drow occupant alone.
Without much thought, Drizzt moved to the window and stared blankly out of it. The weather was beginning to resemble his emotions was his guess, as the sudden downpour was beginning to make him sad.
He let his tears fall. So caught up was he in the emotions storming inside him, he never heard the door open. A minute later and he found himself being comforted by his new elven friend.
Tarathiel stayed with him until the angry tears had stopped. Believing he would feel like an idiot after, he was surprised when he ended up feeling a little better. Wiping away the traces of tears, he soon looked in the direction of the elf holding him and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess I needed that."
The moon elf chuckled and let go. "That's ok. You are still trying to get used to everything that has happened. I would not be able to take it as well as you have."
Drizzt frowned. "I would not say I am taking this well at all. Sometimes . . . I keep on thinking that death might be better than this. I scared myself the first time that thought came into my head." He sighed. "Those thoughts stopped thankfully."
Tarathiel nodded, understanding of a kind shining in his eyes. "It is hard to live with, but you will live. I had similar feelings and thoughts when my family was killed."
Drizzt didn't know what to say so he kept his mouth closed, once again listening to the sounds of rain falling. Now it felt nice to be sharing the quiet with someone but a conversation he had a while ago with Bruenor popped into his head.
"Have you made very many friends with the shorter lived races?" He asked, wanting to know if the only other elf he had ever trusted had been friends with a human before.
Tarathiel shifted on his seat. "Not really. I mainly stay with the elves in the Moonwood or the surrounding areas. 'Stick to your own kind or you will be hurt' was a saying I was always told as an elfling. I had a restless spirit and couldn't keep still for very long. Wanderlust took me at an early age . . . I traveled, went back home and settled down."
Drizzt listened to the Moon elf's words and a dull ache of loss began in his heart. "I truly am a fool am I not?! Why can I not find someone who will stay with me for centuries instead of a few decades." He sighed loudly. "What a foolish thing to do . . ." He muttered the last to himself quietly.
"What did you do?" asked Tarathiel.
Drizzt stared at the elf. "I made friends with them, I love them for always being there. I fell in love with one of them in a deeper way and now . . . I am so confused with everything right now."
Tarathiel stared at him, like as if he was going insane. "I don't know what to do! I have never felt like I do for Catti-Brie with anyone before. I'm so young and now I need all of my friends more than ever and I am afraid that I might make things worse if I act on my feelings." He stopped to take a deep breath, looked down at the sheets still covering him, before burying his head in his hands. "What do I do?"
Tarathiel shrugged, knowing full well that Drizzt couldn't see the action. Silent support was what the drow needed right now. Someone to be with him as he thought his way through his problems.
Drizzt sighed after a time and went to stand. "Thank you for listening to me. Even if you do think me mad." He said, before making his slow way towards the door. As his hands found the wood of the doorframe, he smiled. He would be able to do this. He just needed patience.
Opening the door, he was surprised to run into someone standing next to the door on the other side. "The Lady asked me to take you to see her." Came an unfamiliar voice of a female guard.
Sighing, he nodded. Of course she would have to have known about his current ... ailment. The thought that he didn't tell her himself made his anger rise again. Not being careful, he walked into an open door and sprawled across the floor.
The guard didn't know what hit her as she tried to help him up. All she knew was there was a crazy drow in front of her.
Drizzt lashed out. Much like he had done to Lyavain, but the guard knew how to protect herself. In no time it seemed to Drizzt, he tired out. Panting for breath he got to his feet and started to walk off to where he thought Alustriel's room to be.
Fortunately, Alustriel had heard the fight and waited outside the door for her friend in trouble. Drizzt scowled in her direction, when she called out his name. She frowned back, not fully understanding why he was beating up her guards.
"Come in here and sit down." She said, before going back into the room, she then watched every stumble her drow friend took to reach the chair in front of her. She kept almost constantly tapping her foot so Drizzt knew where she was.
"This is very difficult. You realize that, do you not?!" Drizzt spat out, before he could stop himself. He crossed his arms and leaned down into the chair, aware he was acting like a child, but not caring.
"You are angry. I don't understand what you are going through, but I understand that anger. You just want what ails you to go away."
At this, Drizzt stood back up again and began to pace, counting his steps so he didn't go further than he felt he needed to. "Of course I want this over with. Losing my sight for any given moment of time was not something I had ever planned on happening. I am scared, I am angry, I cry over the most stupid things...."
Losing the chair in his pacing, he sat down on the ground and buried his head. He refused to let tears fall again, not so close to the last time. Breathing deeply, he managed to calm down. "Please, I beg, make it better." He was suddenly groveling at the Lady's feet.
All attempts at keeping his emotions in check crumpled like he himself did. Within seconds he went hysterical, not knowing why only that he didn't want to think what would happen if she couldn't fix his eyesight. He laughed shrilly, even as once again the angry tears found their way down his face.
Soon the laughter stopped and, unlike the other times, he couldn't stop crying. This was it! If she couldn't help him, then he doubted anyone could.
He didn't want this! He wanted to be running insane into a lair of giants, or battling a dragon with all his friends by his side. He wanted to go back to the caves of Mithral Hall and hunt the goblins that live in the lower tunnels. He would rather fight every drow from Menzoberranzan, but at the same time, he wished for fishing by one of the lakes in Ten Towns, living a quiet life.
All he truly wanted was his sight back.
His sobs were picking up a crowd, as he soon had his friends by his side, including Delly Curtie and little Colson.
It was nice not to be alone while he was breaking down. A part of him was glad he had his friends by his side, while the other part of him desperately wished his friends didn't have to see him so...weak.
He wasn't aware enough to hear a word any were saying, too caught up in the sudden release of pain he had been trying to hide for days. He had cried, yes. He had released tears and anger, but this was something even more deep.
All his doubt, fear, anger, confusion and even a little of his hope was being released. There was no calming this storm down.
After a long while, his body decided it had had enough and he was left exhausted on the bed in Alustriel's private room. His friends were all talking quietly to the Lady of Silverymoon. He couldn't be bothered trying to listen.
Feeling like the world was about to end, he drifted asleep.
A/N - Wow! Look, updated. Sorry it took so long. This chapter has been on my computer for a while now, it just wouldn't upload (damn ff.net!) Hope you all enjoy!
Thanks again to my reviewers. Again there were 9. Awww, I really love you people. Lol, so thanks to Dark Elf, LunaLillium, Katie, Sirithiliel, ChichiX, Nebethut, Alexandra Dragonhart, DragonEyeZ and Carlin Robertson. You people are so kind to me. Please don't forget to review again!