Will You Always Be There?
Chapters 22 through 24
Disclaimers as previously stated.
Chapter 220715
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Harm sat in the cafeteria, staring at but not reading the newspaper he had picked up on his way down. He had walked to the surgery waiting area. The empty room seemed to suffocate him as soon as he sat down in it. He left it nearly as quickly as he had walked in. He had been told the surgery would take two hours minimum about 45 minutes ago. The smell of coffee had drawn him down to the cafeteria but he thought better of having any. He hadn't drunk anything at all until a few minutes ago. Mac couldn't have anything and he hadn't even thought of anything until now. Fruit and bagels with a water chaser. Mac would tease him about his 'health food'. He was still running on pure adrenaline. The last thing he needed was coffee now.
He looked at his watch and it had only been 3 minutes since he looked at it last. He got up and walked back to the waiting area. A man in khakis sat on the couch leaning forward. His arms were rested on this knees and his head was resting on his clasped hands. Harm stopped and started to turn around and go back out. The man looked up and then stood immediately. "Sir."
Harm noticed his rank then and said, "Stand easy, Senior Chief." The senior chief had not been upset but deep in thought. Harm was relieved. He was barely handling his own situation. He didn't want to take on or be a party to anything else.
The man offered Harm his hand and said, "Senior Chief Matt McGuire, sir. I'm just finishing up my last tour as a detailer at the Pentagon."
"Senior," Harm said, shaking his hand. "Commander Harmon Rabb. I'm at JAG headquarters."
"Sir," the senior chief said. And they sat down. "Yeah, the wife's in surgery. Her sixth," he said shaking his head. "I don't know how she does it. She just keeps going. She's having her knee replaced…again. I hope this is it this time." The senior chief got up and walked to the window. Harm wasn't quite sure what to say.
Just then a corpsman walked into the waiting area. Harm's heart went up in his throat. "Senior Chief, your wife is in recovery, sir. She'll be there for about an hour and then you can see her."
The senior chief said, "Thank you, Petty Officer."
"And sir, Captain Henderson will be down shortly to talk with you." He nodded to the petty officer and the corpsman left the room.
"Whew," the senior chief said. "Well, that's finally over."
"I hope you get good news, senior." Harm said.
"So do I, sir. We aren't sure if this was a matter of her bones not being quite strong enough for her prosthesis or if she has had a reoccurrence." The senior chief swallowed hard and said, "If you'll excuse me, sir, I think I need some air. This room is definitely too small."
"I know how you feel," Harm said and nodded in agreement to the senior chief as he walked out the door.
Harm walked to the window and looked out. It was going to be a gray day. What he wouldn't give for the sunshine they had in Belleville. He could sure use it now. He looked at his watch: 0800, another half an hour at least. He had wanted to get out of this room but now he was afraid to leave. They might come looking for him and he didn't want to miss them. Mac just had to come out of this. 'Six surgeries,' he thought. 'God, how does anyone willingly let a surgeon cut into their bodies?' A traumatic injury was one thing, but scheduling and having surgery done; that definitely took some mental toughness. He thought for a moment about what was happening to Mac right now. He could not dwell on the thought. He already felt that Mac's body was his. He resented the fact that he had to just hand her over and trust them to do their best. It made him angry all of a sudden. 'Damn it! They had all better do their best, to the letter, or I'll see them all in Leavenworth' he thought. He walked away from the window.
He was driving himself crazy and he knew it. He still hadn't read his paper. It was pointless. He couldn't concentrate enough to read it. Just then a young man in an Army uniform stepped into the room. "Excuse me, sir." Harm looked up. He read McGuire on the name plate of the young man's uniform. "Have you seen...?"
"He just stepped out, Sergeant," Harm said.
"Sergeant Jacob McGuire, sir," he said as he offered his hand.
"Commander Harmon Rabb. The senior chief should be back any moment," Harm said.
Just then the senior chief did come in. "Hey, when did you get in?"
"Hey, Dad." They shook hands, and Harm suddenly felt like an intruder.
"I'm going to take a quick walk around. It was nice meeting you both."
"Thank you, sir," the senior chief said. "Jake here just got in from Afghanistan." The young man shifted on his feet uncomfortably and his father stood a little taller and beamed. Harm smiled, nodded to them both and stepped out of the room.
The hallway was cooler, he thought as he looked at his watch. Ten more minutes. Surely someone would tell him something by then. This had to be the longest 2 hours he had ever spent in his life. He walked to the end of the hall and had started back when he saw a man in scrubs walk into the waiting area. He thought it must be Captain Henderson. He slowed his pace, trying to give them time to talk before he got back to the room. He wasn't far from the room when they all walked out into the hall. The man in scrubs and the senior chief shook hands. "Thank you, sir," Senior Chief McGuire said and the man in scrubs walked away.
The senior chief gave Harm the thumbs up. Harm smiled at him and said, "That's great, senior." He then patted his son on the back and they headed down the hallway toward the recovery room. Harm thought, 'If he can have this much hope after six surgeries, then I can hang on for Mac, for both of us.' He walked into the room feeling a little better somehow. He walked to the window and remembered what Mac had said about having hope. 'Hope for the best and prepare for the worst,' his grandmother always said. He smiled at the thought of her. He had given her a solemn promise to call her as soon as he knew anything.
"Commander Rabb?" Harm was startled and turned quickly around. "I'm sorry, sir." The corpsman hadn't meant to startle him. "Colonel Mackenzie is in the recovery room. Captain Morrison will be with you shortly."
"Thank you, Petty Officer," Harm said. 'Here we go', he thought. Okay, he could do this. If Mac could go through surgery, he could wait a few minutes for the surgeon to get down here.
Fifteen minutes later, Captain Morrison walked into the room. Harm tried to read his expression but he could not. "Sir," Harm said.
"Commander, it looks like the tumor was encapsulated. We removed the left ovary and fallopian tube. We performed a few diagnostic scans while she was on the table and there doesn't appear to be any metastasis at this time."
Harm's knees nearly gave way. Relief swept through him from his head to his feet. He reached for the wall and casually rested his hand on it, leaning slightly. The captain noticed and said nothing but suggested they sit down.
"She came through just fine, her vitals are good. She appears to be a strong woman – her level of fitness worked in her favor."
"So what happens now?" Harm asked.
"The colonel will need to stay at least a couple of days; I prefer a release on Friday. She should follow up with me in two weeks. She will do as I have said before. See me every two months for blood work and any diagnostic testing that may be required," he said.
"No radiation, then?" Harm asked.
"No, as I said before. The resulting scar tissue would decrease the colonel's chances of conceiving and cause other health problems as well." Harm could not help but smile with relief. "Don't misunderstand, Commander; the colonel is not out of the woods yet. Ovarian cancer is a particular deadly form of cancer and can be very insidious. She must be vigilant in her follow up, as I told you both before; this tumor has some markers that are uncommon. We do not want to take any chances where this is concerned."
"Understood, sir," Harm said. They both stood and shook hands. "Thank you, sir," Harm said.
The captain nodded. "She'll be in her room shortly and you may see her then."
Harm walked down the hall and outside. He fully understood the senior chief's need for air earlier. It was over and she had a chance. They had a chance. Anything…he'd take it. He hoped she would go out to his grandmother's to recover as she had said. No need to worry about radiation treatments. Just healing, and Belleville was for that.
He walked back into the hospital about 20 minutes later after making a promised call to Belleville on his cell phone. He found Mac's room and found her still asleep. She looked as though she had been through a battle. She was pale and her face drawn. She laid very still, no movement but her steady breathing. Harm walked to her bedside and leaned on the bedrail. He reached over the rail to brush her hair back from her forehead. She was his again.
'Just wake up, Mac,' he thought, 'let me see that you're okay. Let me tell you what the doctor said.'
Mac slowly became aware of light in the room. She opened her eyes slightly and saw Harm's arm and the watch on his wrist. His hand reached for her, to touch her face.
"Hey. It's about time you woke up," Harm said.
Mac tried to speak, but her mouth was dry. Harm said, "Wait," and gave her a small ice chip from the cup beside the table.
"Did Captain Morrison say encapsulated?"
Harm smiled. "Yeah."
Mac placed her hand over his and said, sighing with relief, "Yeah." Harm kissed her cheek lightly. "So tired," Mac said.
"Sleep, baby, I'm right here."
Mac smiled, starting to drift off, and said in a whisper that only Harm could hear. "Just like always."
Chapter 231300
Tuesday
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Harm sat in the chair at Mac's bedside; it was turned so that he faced her. He had leaned forward and was resting his head on the side of her bed. He was dozing a bit. Mac continued to sleep.
Mac felt something at her right side weighing down the mattress. She opened her eyes slightly and saw Harm. She had been dreaming at least she thought she had anyway. She dreamed she had been out of bed and that she and Harm were talking to Bud and Harriet in the hallway. Harm had helped her back to bed and he promised he wouldn't tell the nurses. Was it a dream?
Harm sensed that she was awake and sat up. "Hey, Tiger, welcome back," he said.
She turned toward him looking slightly confused and asked, "Were Bud and Harriet here?...Was I out of bed earlier?"
"No….Mac, you've been in bed all this time. You just had your surgery this morning…remember?" Harm said, looking amused.
"I must have dreamed it. It seemed so real. We were hiding from the nurses so they wouldn't catch me out of bed,"
Harm was chuckling now. "Honey, I think the anesthesia gave you some pretty vivid dreams."
Just then the inflatable compression wraps on her legs began to fill and tighten around her lower legs. Mac was slightly startled by them. She remembered then she had been told they would be in place after her surgery. "Whew, I guess I'm pretty out of it, huh?"
Harm took her hand and kissed it. "Yeah, a little, but that's okay. You'll be feeling better in no time. So do you remember that you spoke to me earlier, right after they brought you out of recovery?"
Mac looked at him with a slightly confused look, and then she remembered. She said, "Encapsulated," with a smile.
"Yeah, that's right," Harm placed Mac's hand on his cheek.
"Well…my boy Harm…you may get those little Rabbs yet."
Harm was a little surprised and very amused by a punchy Sarah Mackenzie. She was still very groggy and he knew she was in no shape to have a serious discussion, so he played along.
"Well Mackenzie, we'll just have to work on it, won't we?"
He had just about decided that he didn't care if he and Mac had any biological children together or not. He just wanted Mac with him for as long as possible. He never wanted to have her wheeled away from him on a gurney again. That was a discussion for another day; right now a laugh or two was just what the doctor ordered.
"Oh, now, sailor I don't think I'd be too much fun…right now anyway. Just you wait till I'm better. You are in for a lot of trouble."
Harm was grinning mischievously. "Promises, promises, Mackenzie."
She looked at him, suddenly serious, "I never make a promise I can't keep."
Harm answered, "You haven't yet," reversing the roles in a long ago conversation.
Mac eyes were drooping and she was starting to nod off again. "I love you so much, Harm…"
Harm stood and leaned over the rail to kiss her cheek. "I love you, too." And with that she was immediately asleep.
Harm stood and stretched and walked across the room. He felt stiff from sitting and sleeping in that chair. He smiled, remembering their baby deal so long ago. Mac really never got that it was about keeping her in his life; about her waiting for him to get a handle on who he really was, a naval lawyer or a naval aviator. It seemed a century ago. So much had changed – they were different people then. He had loved her then but he was just beginning to realize it, when she had gotten so upset about his leaving and he suddenly knew he didn't want to leave her either. He knew it wasn't about losing his partner. Kate and Meg were great and he missed them, but it never broke his heart to leave them. The men in their lives never concerned him. Jordan had been right. He was waiting for her to decide she wanted him. Poor Jordan.
He shook himself slightly trying to wake up, when a corpsman knocked on the door. "We need to check her vitals and her incision, sir."
"Very well, Petty Officer, I'll just step out; if she wakes tell her I'll be right back."
1830
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac had gotten fully awake around 1600. She was able to have dinner and nursing staff had gotten her up for a short walk. She would have her IV until tomorrow morning. She had a PCA pump so she could administer her own pain meds as needed. It pained Harm to see Mac gingerly trying to move around the room. Getting in an out of bed seemed to be the hardest. He found himself not wanting to let her do anything at all. If it hurt, he didn't want her to do it.
Mac was lying back on her bed with the head of the bed elevated. Harm was finally reading his paper. Bud and Harriet suddenly appeared in the doorway. They knocked on the open door and Bud said, "Can we come in, ma'am?"
"Of course, Bud," Mac said weakly. She was really hurting after all her activity and she was trying not to use the PCA pump as much. She smiled a half smile at both Bud and Harriet. "I'm glad to see you both."
"We don't want to intrude, but the commander told us about your surgery…." Bud said, but was interrupted by Harriet who said, "and we just couldn't stay away."
We hope you're doing okay, ma'am," Bud said.
"I'm coming along, Bud. I'm getting good care and lots of help," she said as she looked at Harm. He smiled at her and took her hand and squeezed it. The gesture wasn't lost on Harriet.
They visited for about 15 minutes. They caught up on AJ and Jimmy and Mac asked Harriet about how she was feeling. Harriet reported that she was doing a lot better with this pregnancy, even though she was carrying twins. She and Harm laughingly told Mac about Harm rolling Harriet to lunch in her chair on a particularly bad day when she was pregnant with Jimmy.
Mac looked lovingly at Harm. 'He's going to be such a good father. He should have as many children as he wants.' Her expression turned wistful, and again Harm took her hand with one hand and covered it with the other, knowing she was thinking of their children.
"Well, we'd better get going," Bud stood.
"We just wanted you to know we were thinking about you" Harriet said.
"Thanks,"
"Hey Bud, we need to talk tomorrow first thing," Harm was dreading having to deal with their case.
"About the Pruitt case, sir?"
Harm rolled his eyes, "That's the one."
Bud smiled knowingly and said he would see him tomorrow.
Harm noticed that Mac winced when she tried to shift slightly in her bed. "Are you okay, Mac? When was the last time you used your PCA?"
Mac answered, "It's been a couple of hours."
Harm frowned at her. "You've been moving around – that's bound to make it hurt more."
"I want to get off the strong pain meds as soon as possible, Harm,"
"I understand, Mac, but you just had major surgery this morning. I would think a few days of help with this pain isn't going to make you an addict," Harm said – and wished he could take the words back.
"I am an alcoholic, Harm. I have to be careful not to let myself become dependent on anything."
Just then Captain Morrison knocked on her door. "I'm doing rounds a little late tonight. How are you doing?"
"Better, sir," Mac said.
"Well, let's have a quick look. Excuse us, Commander."
"Yes, sir," Harm said. The captain pushed the nurses call light and when the corpsman answered. She was summoned to assist the captain.
The captain flattened the bed and Mac held her breath to keep from groaning with the pain. "Are you using your PCA, Colonel?"
"No," Harm answered for her as he left the room.
Mac shot him a warning glare, and Harm narrowed his eyes at her and left the room. "I'm trying not to be too dependent on the PCA. I'm an alcoholic and I don't want to allow myself to be dependent on anything,"
"It is admirable that you want to discipline yourself this way, Colonel, but you did just have this surgery less than 24 hours ago. You are being monitored by our staff and appear to have a 'friend' who is watching you very carefully. If there are any signs of overuse, they will be corrected immediately."
He pushed the button on the PCA pump and said firmly, "Allow yourself to heal, Colonel, and that's an order. You will do it more quickly with the help of this medication. That s what it was made for, understood?"
"Yes, sir," Mac said, her face reddening with embarrassment. The corpsman walked in and the captain did his exam. As Mac readjusted her gown, Captain Morrison had the corpsman call Harm back into the room.
Harm stepped back into the room looking at Mac, hoping she would not be angry with him. Mac smiled a weak smile and was still a little pink from embarrassment. 'We're okay,' Harm thought. Captain Morrison discussed the morning's surgery. He told Mac all that he had told Harm while she was in the recovery room. The tumor was encapsulated and her left ovary and fallopian tube had been removed. There would be no radiation.
The thing that he said that concerned Mac was 'unusual markers' when he was talking about the tumor. "Sir, what is meant by 'unusual markers'?"
"What we mean, Colonel, in layman's terms is that this tumor isn't 'behaving' like a malignant tumor, but it doesn't act like a benign tumor either. This is why we are consulting with Johns Hopkins on this one,"
Harm said, "You mean this may not be ovarian cancer?'
"I won't say that, Commander. I'm just saying it appears to have rare characteristics which could mean it is aggressive but insidious (difficult to detect), or that it is not and with its removal the colonel may be cancer free." He raised his hands and looked at them both. "It is important that we treat this the way we do any time we suspect ovarian cancer. We have been and will be as conservative as we possibly can, but we will monitor you, Colonel. …closely. I wish I could give you a more definitive answer, but this is the best I can do for now."
"I understand, sir," Mac said.
The captain stood and walked to the doorway. Harm stood, and the captain looked back at him and said, "Commander."
"Sir" Harm said. With that the captain left.
Mac drew a slightly deeper breath. Her pain medication was beginning to work and she was getting drowsy. She realized too that she had been taking shallow breaths because of her pain. She closed her eyes.
"Mac, are you alright?" Harm asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just trying to take it all in."
"Yeah, me too."
"I could be cured or I could just be putting off the inevitable," she said. "God, why can't I ever do anything like everyone else?"
"Mac…I know this must be frustrating for you. I'm just so glad that nothing has spread."
He leaned forward in his chair and placed his elbows on the side of the bed. He reached over with one hand and caressed her arm. He looked lovingly into her eyes.
"I don't ever want to lose you, Mac. We can do this. I know we can."
Mac tried to smile and put her head back on the bed. "I'm so glad you're here, Harm."
Harm stayed with her until around 2100. Mac was in and out with pain meds keeping her groggy.
Harm stood "I'm going to have to go, Mac." Mac nodded and gave him a wistful look. Harm said, "Hey, no knocking on my door at two in the morning."
"Not me," she said. "I'm on drugs." She nodded her head toward the PCA pump.
"Ha ha, Marine, don't hold that against me. I couldn't stand to see you suffering like that."
"I just want to be normal, Harm, and I want to be my best."
He leaned over her bedrail moving close enough to Mac to look at her directly in the eye. "You never have to worry, Mac." With that Harm kissed her lightly on the lips. "I love you."
Mac smiled but was drifting off to sleep. She was completely out before he got to the door.
Chapter 24
0930
Wednesday
Jag Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm sat behind his desk, looking over his Pruitt case file. He and Bud had just settled a deal that would have the chief lose one rank and be fined for the next 6 months. He was almost surprised that the chief accepted. He guessed that the one thing the chief did well was his Navy career and he didn't want to lose it. He also thought that the fact that he was scheduled to deploy in two weeks would get him away from both women. He smiled at the thought.
Sturgis knocked on his open door. "Hey, got a minute?" Sturgis said.
"Yeah, I've got about a half an hour til I meet with my client," he said.
"How is Mac?" Sturgis asked.
"As well as can be expected. I spoke with her early this morning. The doctors are thinking they got everything and that the tumor may not have advanced to the stage they had previously thought when they performed the biopsy," Harm answered.
Sturgis was genuinely relieved. "I'm glad to hear it, Harm. I know what a relief it must be to you both."
Harm raised his eyebrows. "It is that; we're not out of the woods yet, though. Captain Morrison is being very cautious about giving Mac a clean bill of health. He wants to monitor her closely, and really, I appreciate that he wants to be this thorough."
Sturgis stood before Harm's desk as he spoke and folded his arms in front of him. "Harm, I think we need to discuss something…"
"Sturgis, it's okay… really. It's been a hell of a hard year on all of us. If someone had told me a year ago that Mac and I would be as close as we are now I'd have told them they were crazy."
Harm stood, closed and lifted his briefcase from his desk.
"Don't worry about any of it." He took his cover from the table by the door and Sturgis followed him out. He closed his office door and started for the elevators.
He looked back at Sturgis over his shoulder and said, "There is too much going on now to sweat the small stuff."
Sturgis smiled. He thought that Harm seemed happier than he had seen him in a long time, even though he and Mac were weathering a pretty rough storm. He looked at his watch and was astounded to think that Harm was going to show up for a meeting 15 minutes early.
1100
Wednesday
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac lay back on her bed with the head of her bed elevated. Commander McCool sat in a chair at her bedside. They discussed Captain Morrison's assessment of her medical status and Mac's concerns about addiction. They also discussed her week in Belleville and the night that triggered her agreement to accompany Harm there.
"It appears that is the night you found that your old coping mechanisms didn't work," Commander McCool said.
"I felt so foolish for falling apart like that. I don't know what I would have done if Harm hadn't come by," Mac said.
"Well, you appear to have stopped isolating yourself from others, and that is definitely a step in the right direction. However, when we discuss your future and the possibility of a family you still appear to feel that you do not feel you deserve happiness."
"Harm deserves a family; he would make such a good father. He already is to his ward, Mattie."
"Yes, you have spoken of this before. Since Harm has shown you his ability to love and nurture a child that is not his biologically, why can't you accept that you could have a family with him this way as well?"
Mac was quiet and Commander McCool continued. "You also have spent a lot of time explaining what Harm deserves. What do you deserve, Colonel? Do not misunderstand; I'm not suggesting that you focus only on yourself, but you need to consider yourself and your needs as well. What is important to you personally? Not what you think you should want, or what you think others would be pleased with, but what is going to make you happy."
Mac continued to ponder what the Cmdr. had said. "Do you still plan to recover from your surgery with your friend in Pennsylvania?"
Mac smiled remembering Mrs. Rabb, "Yes, I do. It seems to be a place where I can see things clearly."
"I am glad to hear it."
"I have to come back in two weeks to follow up with Captain Morrison. I can see you then if you prefer."
"That would be fine." The Commander also assured Mac she would follow her progress closely, consulting with Captain Morrison regarding her medications.
"I would like you to consider what we have discussed here today, and we will discuss it further when I see you in two weeks. You are an accomplished woman in your career, Colonel, and that has given you a measure of happiness, but you need to complete the circle, if you will. I have been able to discern from our discussions that you already have a family of sorts. Your friends at work, your little sister Chloe, Mrs. Rabb in Pennsylvania, and Harm along with his ward Mattie. There are all kinds of families, Colonel. You can chose to make one of your own…..or not." She stood and stepped forward to shake Mac's hand. "See you in two weeks."
"Thank you, Commander," she said.
Mac closed her eyes and tried to absorb all that she had discussed with Cmdr McCool. Why did these sessions always leave her so exhausted? She decided to try and take a nap before lunch. She had been up for a walk this morning and wanted to get up and moving after lunch. Harm would probably be out to see her around 1700. She suddenly missed him so much that tears stung at the backs of her eyes.
She had missed him last night. She had awoken at about 0200 and looked at the clock on the wall. Her pain meds had worn off and at pain on her incision site had awakened her. She'd smiled a bit when she noticed the time. 'Harm…it's 0200…too bad I can't get out of this bed,' she had thought. She'd hoped he was asleep. This week had been very hard for him, she knew. She had pushed the button on her PCA and eventually drifted off to sleep.
1330
Wednesday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm had taken a late lunch and decided to call his grandmother and give her an update on Mac. She was pleased to know she was coming after all. Harm got a bit of surprise from their conversation. Frank and his mother were there. They had decided to come and see her on their way to the east coast and then Europe. She and Frank were staying for a few days next week in New York to see some friends of theirs and then continue on to Germany. Since Chrysler had become Daimler Chrysler their circle of friends had widened. Frank had retired, but he still held an honorary seat on the board of directors so he kept a lot of his connections.
His grandmother put his mother on the phone. 'Hello, son,"
"Uh, hi, Mom. How are you doing?" He hadn't spoken to his mother since July. He hadn't really purposely avoided her. It just seemed lately that his life and hers were going in two different directions. Things where Mac was concerned were so complicated that he rarely spoke of her at all lately.
"I'm fine, Harm. How is Mac doing?"
"She's fine, mom." God… this was awkward. Harm broke out in a sweat.
"Your grandmother said she had been having some health problems and that she may be coming out here to recover."
"Uh..yeah. That is what she's going to do. She'll be released from the hospital Friday and I'll be driving her up Friday night."
"Did she have surgery, son?"
"Yeah ...Mom...It's kind of complicated..." Harm said.
"It's alright, Harm – you don't have to tell me everything. I'd like to come down and see you, though, tomorrow before Frank and I leave for New York…If that's alright with you,"
"Of course, Mom, I'd like to see you. You'll get to meet Mattie,"
"I'd love it," she said. An awkward silence fell. "Well…. I guess I'd better let you get back to work,"
"Yeah" Harm laugh a little too nervously.
"See you tomorrow, son," Trish said.
"Yeah, and tell grandma I'll call her Friday morning……..Bye, Mom."
"Goodbye, Harm,"
Harm replaced the phone on its receiver. "Whew…." He covered his face with his hands, then stood up, walked across the room and shook his head. 'Tomorrow should be a lot of fun,' he thought.
1730
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Harm stepped into Mac's room. She was walking out of the bathroom, with no IV and no assistance at all. "Hey, you're getting around great,"
'Thanks," Mac said. "They took my IV out about 1400, and I've gone for a couple of walks down the hall with the nursing staff." She carefully walked to her bed and got in. "They won't let me walk in the hallway by myself yet. That's tomorrow, I think."
Harm had been looking at her closely as she spoke. She looked so much better to him. Her coloring had gotten better. She was moving much better than yesterday. 'Have you had dinner yet?'
"No, not yet. I wanted to get out here to you. I'll grab something while you're resting. How are you doing with the pain?"
"Well, I'm due another dose in about half an hour. I can feel it, but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be."
Harm sat down in the chair near her bed "Good."
"I saw Commander McCool today."
"How did that go?"
"It was a good session but I felt totally drained afterward. I'll be following up with her when I come back to see Captain Morrison."
"I called my grandmother and told her you were definitely coming. She was really pleased." Mac smiled. "I got blindsided, though," Harm said. Mac looked at him curiously. "Mom and Frank were there, and she wants to come down tomorrow and see me before she and Frank head to New York and then to Europe."
Mac smiled at him and said, "It's been a while seen you've seen her, hasn't it?"
"Yeah, but I haven't purposely been avoiding her, Mac." Harm avoided her gaze, feeling a sense guilt he could not explain.
Mac remembered that conversation, one that she was ashamed of. She'd had no right to tell him he was a 'rotten' son.
"Harm, relax and please don't believe that I meant that stupid remark I made last Christmas. I was just doing my favorite thing at the time. I was so miserable I lashed out at anyone who came near me. It was just your turn that day."
Harm took her hand, then looked at their joined hands. "She may want to come out here tomorrow, you know. Knowing Mattie, she'll probably invite her," Harm said, shaking his head.
Mac laughed a little, bracing her incision slightly with a pillow. "She really has been good for you, Harm."
They went for a walk later in the evening and Harm left at 2100. Mac was doing well with her pain management, but the medication still made her sleepy. Harm checked in with Mattie and told her about his mother's visit tomorrow. "Great," she said. "I've always wanted to meet her."
"Remember, you're going to the hospital with me tomorrow after work, so be ready. Are you all caught up on your homework?"
"I've never been behind," Mattie said huffily.
"I just don't want anything to put you behind. No more 'dragon lady,' that's all I ask,"
Mattie giggled and hugged Harm, and he said "See you in the morning."
TBC