Disclaimer: Same old stuff, I don't own the rights to anything. This is the last chapter, though, so I hope everyone has enjoyed reading it and enjoys this.
I stayed at the mansion for the rest of the school year. It was a little sad having to see Logan every day, but it wasn't awkward. He just wasn't someone that I felt awkward or uncomfortable around.
Everyone treated me far too nice, being careful not to mention his name around me, but soon they saw that it was okay. No one ever asked why we broke up, but I could tell that they were all wondering why two people who got along as well as the two of us had would end what seemed like a perfect relationship. No one had known about the whole Logan/James thing, with the exception of the Professor who had known it since I had arrived there and he had read my mind. However, he, of course, refused to put up a memory block for me in my mine so that I could forget. Scott had asked me plenty of times if I wanted him to talk to Logan for me, but for Scott's sake, I said no. Logan would have ripped him apart if he went prying about the topic, and aside from that, it wasn't his fault, I had broken up with him.
Once school was out, I moved back to Tennessee to help take care of my grandmother, who, sadly, passed away a year and a half after my Pop. My mother had disappeared, just like my father. She had gone missing the day of my Pop's funeral and no one had seen her since. So, I transferred to a college near my Nana's house and began my like over again. After a few months of being back at home, I met a man named Steven who was a few years older than me and studying to become an accountant. We dated for a year and a half before he proposed to me and I accepted.
It had been nearly two years since I had moved back home when I received a birth announcement in the mail, while Steven and I were getting ready to go pick out a wedding cake. We only had two months to go before our wedding and I had been putting everything off.
"Who had a baby?" Steven asked me, pulling a bottle of water from my refrigerator.
"Jean and Scott," I said with a smile, still reading the card.
"Who?"
I looked at him from over the card. "My friends Jean and Scott, they work at Professor Xavier's school for the gifted up in Westchester,"
"Oh right, that school that you used to live at,"
"Yeah," I said as he grabbed the announcement from my hands to read. "They're having a party to celebrate,"
"So are you just going to send them a little present in the mail?"
"What? No, why would I do that?"
"I don't know, I just didn't think you would want to see them again. I mean, you haven't visited them since you moved back,"
"I haven't had the chance," I said defensively. "You're going to be up there around that time, right? You're having that business meeting, or something, aren't you?"
"Yeah, it's the day after this,"
"Okay, so I'll just go with you, we'll go to the party together and then you can go to your meeting the next day,"
"What kind of a name is 'Oreo Munroe'?" he asked.
I laughed and shook my head. "It's Ororo, actually," I corrected. Storm and the Professor had been named their baby's Godparents.
"Oh, well at least they gave the kid a normal name." They had named their baby girl Ava Rayn Summers. "I don't like how they spelled Rayn, though, that's a little weird,"
"Hey, I picked it out," I defended.
"Oh, well….it's not too bad," he said.
I just shook my head. I hated it when he did that. I didn't want him to apologize for his opinion, it made me feel like I had to do the same, and I didn't like to apologize for mine because I usually had a very strong one about the topic, whatever it may have been. I didn't feel it necessary to pretend not to have a difference in personal beliefs and views. It was one of the many reasons I had been delaying looking for a cake. I wanted to know what he wanted because it made it a little easier to tell him what I wanted, and at that point, it hadn't stopped at just the cake; it was about everything.
He lovingly rubbed my back, which he always did after disagreeing with me and trying to make up for it. I gave him a weak smile and he leaned over and kissed me. I won't lie, but I wished that it wasn't he who was kissing me; he was too weak. I wanted him to kiss me in full on passion every time, claiming me as his. I wanted him to kiss me as if it was the first time that we had kissed and he had been dreaming about it forever. No, I didn't want him to kiss me like that, I wanted someone else to, someone who knew what I wanted and could give it to me, no questions asked. That's what I wanted, and I knew I couldn't tell him that.
"Haven, oh my word, how are you?" Jean asked, grabbing me and hugging me.
"I'm great, how are you? You look wonderful, and you know whether I'm lying or not! I said back.
"Thank you, I'm doing fantastic, it's been wonderful," she said with a smile.
"Hey, why aren't you asking how I'm doing?" Scott asked.
"Well, how are you doing, dad?" I asked, hugging him and he beamed.
Steven and I had made it up to New York in time for the party, where Jean and Scott greeted us at the door.
"I'm doing good, I'm glad that you could make it," he said, ending our hug and looking over at Steven. I could tell that he was sizing him up.
"Oh, I'm sorry, this is Steven," I said, introducing him.
"Oh, you fiancé!" Jean said, shaking his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you,"
"Steven, this is Jean and Scott,"
"Oh, right, then you too, then! I've heard quite a bit about the two of you," he lied and I saw Jean give me a coy smile. I smiled back apologetically and shrugged my shoulders. She knew that I didn't really get into detail about my stay at the school because I was afraid that it would lead to me having to lie about being a mutant, which I didn't enjoy doing.
"Oh, this is for the baby," I said, handing Scott a box. "And this is for you, Jean, I thought you might need a little pick me up if you ever get any free time,"
"Aw, thank you, that was very sweet, but speaking of which, I have to go find Ororo, she has my daughter," Jean said.
"Alright," I said.
"You guys have fun," she said, walking away.
Steven and I walked around for a while, saying 'hi' to a few people that I hadn't spoken to since I had left. I ran into Rouge filling up a cup with punch and decided to get some as well after we finished talking.
"Hey kid," I heard a voice growl low from behind me.
"Hey old man," I said, and then turned around to face Logan, who was standing right in front of me.
"I heard you got hitched?" he said.
"Getting hitched, actually," I said, holding up my hand, showing him my ring. He hadn't changed a bit since I had seen him last. "Aren't I getting a little too old for you to still be calling me 'kid'?"
"No," he said with a smirk. "Who's this?"
"This is Steven," I said.
"Her fiancé," Steven interjected, reaching out to shake his hand.
I hated the way he flaunted the title 'fiancé', as if it make him better than the person to whom he was being introduced.
"Yeah," I said unenthusiastically. "Steven, this is Logan,"
"Oh, the ex-boyfriend," he said.
I rolled my eyes and turned up my glass of punch, hoping that someone had spiked it.
"Yeah, that's me," Logan said dryly.
"I heard you and Ororo were going out?" I said.
"Me and Ro' ain't going out, who told you that?"
"Someone," I said with a wink. Rouge had told me that the two of them were 'hanging out' more than usual; she hadn't actually said they were going out, though.
"So, did you miss me?"
"No," I lied with a small smirk.
"Good, me either,"
"You are such a pig-headed,"
"Canadian freak, I know," he said, interrupting me.
"You forgot male whore," I said.
"You got yourself a winner there," Logan said, smacking Steven on the back and walking off.
"You're still a jerk," I called after him.
"And you've still got problems, darlin'," he said back to me, giving me a small glance with a cocked eyebrow.
"I thought you said that the two of you got along well with each other?" Steven asked once he was gone.
"We do,"
"It doesn't seem like you do anymore,"
"That is how we get along,"
"By calling each other names?"
"Yeah,"
"Is that healthy?"
I shrugged. "It worked for us at the time,"
"Well, we see how that ended up,"
"Logan and I didn't break up because of that,"
"Why did you break up, you never told me?"
"There was something that just couldn't be worked through so we had to let go of it,"
"Let go of what?"
Why did he always need a more descriptive answer than what I gave him? "Our relationship,"
"It must not have been to serious of a relationship if he broke up with you because you couldn't work through something,"
"I broke up with him, he didn't break up with me and our relationship was quite serious, actually,"
"So what was it that you just couldn't work through, then?"
"It's in the past Steven, it's never going to affect us, so don't worry about it,"
"Everything is in the past to you, why don't you ever want to talk about it?"
"You know what, I'm here to have a good time, celebrate a little and have some fun, you should, too,"
"To be quite honest, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable here, how long are you planning on staying?"
"Actually, why don't you go ahead and head back to the hotel? I think I'm going to stay the night here, and since you accidentally only got one room instead of two by mistake, I think it might be better,"
"I can try and get another room, you don't have to stay here," he argued, but I knew he wouldn't try.
"No, it's fine, I've still got my bags in the car and everything and it'll be easier,"
"Well, do you just want me to pick you up after my meeting, then?"
"I think I can probably get one of them to drop me off, so actually it won't be a problem for you, take your time at the meeting,"
"Are you sure?" he asked skeptically.
"I'm positive," I said with a smile. "You need some rest and I need to catch up with everyone, it'll be perfect,"
"Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, leaning in to kiss me, but I turned my face so his lips landed on my cheek. "Not in public, right?"
"Sorry," I apologized half-heartedly.
"I love you, sweetheart," he said.
"You too," I replied, "bye."
"Bye," he said, giving me another kiss on the check, but on purpose that time.
I couldn't sleep, it was too hot and I just couldn't get comfortable, so I decided to go downstairs to the kitchen and raid the freezer for ice cream.
I turned to walk into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. There he was, sitting on a stool at the island in the middle of the room. He was shirtless and I was just as mesmerized by his body as I was the first day I had seen him.
"Purr," I said, letting the sound roll off of my tongue.
He looked at me from over his shoulder.
"Way to be discreet," he said to me, looking back at his food.
I walked the rest of the way into the room, going to stand beside him and leaned up against the counter.
"Since when have I ever been discreet?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "What are you eating?"
"Some kind of Chinese stuff," he said, tipping the carton so that I could see the noodles.
"Doesn't look too bad, is there anymore?"
"No, here, have a bite of this," he said, picking up a noodle and dangling it over my mouth.
"I hope your hands are clean," I said, tilting my head back and allowing him to drop them in my mouth. "Oh, these are gross!" He laughed as I rushed to the garbage to spit them out. "Yuck, I didn't want real food anyway, is there any ice-cream here?"
"There's probably some in the back of the freezer that Jean hid," he said, returning to his own food.
I searched around until I finally found a half-eaten, half-gallon carton of Rocky Road ice cream. I carefully dipped myself out a bowel before I returned it to its hiding place and sat down in the chair across from Logan to eat. We didn't say anything else for a while, and soon Jean came in carrying Ava.
"Sorry, it's lunch time," she said, going to the refrigerator. "Ah, there's no milk made,"
"Do you want me to hold her while you make some?" I asked.
"Sure," she said, walking over to me and carefully placing Ava in my arms. "Here you just, it'll just take a minute,"
I smiled down at Ava; she was so beautiful. She let me hold her for a few moments before she began to cry.
"Oh, shh, its okay Ava, mommy's fixing your lunch. Ah, shh, beautiful baby," I cooed softly, rocking her. I looked up at Logan and he smiled at me a little as she stopped crying. "Have you held her yet?" I asked him.
I heard Jean laugh as she stirred the baby formula with water to make the milk. "No," he said.
"He'll fight anyone you put him up against, but give him a little baby to hold and he gets terrified," she said, pouring the milk into an empty bottle, putting the rest into the refrigerator and coming to get her from me.
"I'm not terrified of holding a baby," he said, looking frustrated.
"Okay, whatever you say, I've got to go feed this baby, she's waited long enough," Jean said, more to Ava than us, though. She gave me a wink as she left the room.
He waited a while after she was gone before he spoke again. "Is that Steven guy good to you?"
"Yeah, he is actually," I said, stirring my ice cream with my spoon.
"So you're gonna' move to the suburbs, have a dog and a couple of kids, right?"
"No, he's allergic to dogs and I don't want kids,"
"Since when?"
"Since we broke up,"
He paused for a second. "Do you love him?"
"No,"
"Why are you marrying him?"
"Because he's good to me, we get along well enough, he's emotionally and financially stable, aside from being in love with him, he's got everything that I need,"
"What about what you want?" he asked, staring into my eyes.
"No one's ever been able to give me what I want Logan, except for you,"
"You always told me what you wanted,"
"Because I knew that you could give it to me,"
"And he can't?"
"He doesn't even come close, as much as I hate to say it, but it's true,"
"There's plenty of guys out there, why can't you find one that you like?"
"I think you underestimate yourself, Logan,"
"How's that?"
"No one is ever going to be able to love me like you did; you spoiled me just a little bit. No only that, but I've never loved anyone else like I loved you, no one really holds up to your standards," He just stared at me for a moment. "Just thought you should know," I said, eating my melting ice cream.
"What do you want, Haven?" he finally asked.
I thought for a second, trying to figure out how to word it clear and properly. "I want you to kiss me,"
"How?"
"Like you haven't seen me in two years and that's all you've been thinking about,"
He tipped back his bottle of water for a drink before standing up and striding over to me. I stood up from my chair to face him and he trapped me between the island and him, placing a hand on my lower back and the other on my hip. His eyes darted back and forth, looking into mine before I finally closed them, silently pleading for him to just give me what I wanted. He waited, making me wait, and then I felt his hand on my face, his fingers tracing my lips. I opened my eyes and saw him, I looked right into his eyes and I knew that when he had told me that he would always love me, he meant it, and he didn't have to pretend as if he had been thinking of that for two years, because he really had. Logan had played games before, but he was best at that one. Giving me what I wanted was something Logan knew how to do above all others and he knew it. So, he drew it out, taking his time to remember every feature on my face. He started kissing me neck, making his way up, and when I thought he was done, he went to the other side, moving even slower. He moved his way up to my ear and I could hear his deep breathing as he nuzzled his nose into my neck. Finally, he moved back, his lips almost touching mine, but he waited, keeping his nose and forehead against my own. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from thinking of Steven and how bad it would hurt him if he ever found out about what I was doing. Then he kissed me, and everything that I had been waiting for was right there. He knew everything about me, how I worked, what I liked, what I did, how to move his mouth so that I felt like he had never wanted to kiss anyone but me. He knew I didn't want everything, just raw emotion and the feeling of his lips crushing down on mine. He had always taken pride in knowing how to make me happy, and doing it. Yes, he knew what I wanted and gave it to me, with no questions asked.
He slowly pulled his lips away and resumed his position of his forehead and nose against mine, his hands back to my lower back and hip. I placed my hands on top of his shoulders and realized that for one, in a very long time, I was breathless.
"I love you Logan," I said and I felt my words sting him like a bad burn.
"I thought you couldn't anymore?" he asked.
"I realized that you and James are two different people. I remember him and I know that you aren't anything like him anymore. You may look the same, but James belonged to my mother and I want you to be mine,"
"You know I am darlin', I always have been,"
I fell into his arms and he held me. I wrapped my arms around him, running my fingers across the muscles on his back.
"Logan, I'm so sorry,"
"For what?"
I pulled away. "I can't do this, not to Steven; he doesn't deserve any of this,"
He stared down for a moment, placing his hands at his waist. "But don't you deserve more than what he's giving you?"
"No,"
He shook his head. "You still don't get it, do you Haven?"
"Get what?"
"You deserve it all, not some idiot guy who you don't love and doesn't even know how to kiss you,"
"That's just what I want; he can give me what I need. I'm used to having to go without,"
"But there's no point in it,"
"Yes there is, I can learn to be happy with him,"
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You don't have to,"
"Why?"
He moved right into my face, speaking right in my ear. "Because there's no point in you bein' with someone who you don't love when you love me and I love you, and I would give everything I have to please you. Darlin', people ain't been good to you, but you know that I will be. I won't ever do anything to hurt you. You ain't had it easy either, but I swear to you kid, that I will do everything I can to make it better. It would kill me if you left,"
"You can't die," I whispered back, feeling tears flooding my eyes.
He looked at my face and wiped away the tear that was running down my cheek. "I would if you left me again," he whispered into my ear. "That's the only thing that can kill me,"
The next day Storm drove me to the hotel and dropped me off. I walked into the room and saw him packing all of his clothes back up.
"Hey sweetheart," he said to me with a smile.
"Hey," I said, smiling back weakly.
"How did the party go?"
"Good, everyone had a really good time," I said, fighting off visions of Logan kissing my neck.
"Did you and Logan go back at it after I left?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Did you argue anymore last night?" he asked, zipping up his suitcase.
"Oh," I said, feeling guilty. "A little bit, but not much,"
"Are you feeling alright? You look a little funny," he said, looking at me.
I dropped my suitcase in the floor beside me. "Can you kiss me?" I asked.
"Yeah, I can do that," he said, walking over to me and then gave me a kiss on the lips.
"No, I mean like a real kiss,"
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to kiss me like that's what you were born to do and you have waited your whole life for this moment, I want you to kiss me like that," I said.
He stared at me dumbly for a moment before kissing me once again, but there wasn't anything to it, it wasn't what I wanted. However, I knew that he was trying and at the least, I was starting to ask for what I wanted, which only further proved that Logan had a strong hold on me and everything inside of me. I was adamant, however, to prove that I could beat it and that one day Steven would make me happy.
"Twenty minutes, Haven," Gloria, the wedding planer, said.
"Alright, thank you," I said with a smile and a nod.
It was our wedding day, I was waiting in a room of the church with my brides-maids and we had twenty minutes before I walked down the aisle. Since I had no father, stepfather, grandfather or even an uncle, I was walking by myself; I had no family to give me away.
"I can't believe how calm you look; I would be a nervous wreck!" Trista, my maid of honor said to me. I had met her at college and we were pretty good friends, but the other three brides-maids were Steven's sisters.
"Oh, well, I guess all of the rehearsals have really helped," I said with a weak smile.
"Well, you look pretty," Steven's younger sister Stephanie said.
"Thank," I said, just as my cell phone rang. "Hello?" I answered.
"Hey Haven, I knew you weren't busy or I wouldn't have called," I heard Jean say on the other line.
"Yeah, you're fine," I said, happy to hear from her.
"I know this is really late, but Scott and I aren't going to be there, Ava got sick. I'm really sorry sweetie; we wanted to be there so badly."
"No, its fine, how is Ava? Is she doing any better?"
"Yeah, it's just a cold. I'm afraid that no one from the school is going to be there,"
"I assumed ya'll probably wouldn't be able to make it, you've still got a school to run whether I'm getting married or not," I said with a small laugh.
"And Logan's not going to be there, either," she said, her voice taking a more serious tone.
"Yeah, I didn't expect he would…how is he?"
"It's hard to tell with him,"
"Will you take care of him for me, Jean?"
"I'll do the best I can, sweetie,"
"Thank you,"
"Well, listen to me, trying to depress you on your wedding day, I'm sorry, go and get married and we'll all celebrate up here for you,"
I smiled. "Alright, I'll speak to you later, thank you for calling, bye,"
"Bye," she said just before I hung up.
"Who was that?" Another one of Steven's sisters asked.
"A friend of mine,"
"What did she want; you looked awfully grim talking to them?"
"She was just saying that she and her husband weren't going to be able to be here because their baby got sick,"
"Who did you want her to take care of for you?" Steven's older sister asked.
I hated nosey people. "Just a friend of mine," I said, checking my hair in the mirror.
"A guy friend?" she asked.
I turned to look at her and fought the urge to be completely rude and sarcastic. "Yes, a guy friend. He works at the school where I stayed at and we lived right down the hall from each other."
"Nothing else besides friendship, then?" she pushed. I suddenly loathed the fact that she was going to be my sister in law.
"Well, a couple of times we snuck down to the garage and he rocked my world," I said sarcastically with a laugh.
"Does Steven know about him?" his younger sister Stephanie asked.
"Yes, he knows about him, he met him when we went up to New York a few weeks ago," I said, rolling my eyes and attempting not to laugh at Trista who was miming hanging herself behind the three of them.
"Leave her alone, she needs to be relaxed, not questioned right now," she defended me.
"Alight, find," his older sister Stacy said.
"These shoes are killing my feet, I can't wear them," I said, pulling off my white, pointy toed, high heels.
"You can't go barefoot!" his sister Stella barked.
"This is my wedding," I said as Gloria came back in and saw me without my shoes on.
"Oh, how romantic!" she exclaimed. "I've always wanted to do a barefoot wedding. Although, I would have gone with lots of rose- petals had I known….but yes, beautiful,"
"I hadn't planned on it, those shoes are death," I said, pointing to them.
"The dress looks much better without them, it's very simple," she said.
My dress was a white ball gown shaped dress, with a corset top. I didn't have a vale because there was no one to lift it up and reveal me to Steven, and my hair wasn't overdone. It was fixed as usual, just down and curly. I didn't want it to be up because I was afraid that everyone would be able to see my back as I walked down the aisle. Why did I care about what they about it, when I was comfortable with everyone at school seeing me? Simply because almost everyone that I had met outside of the school thought that they were perfect, without problems, but everyone there at school had been treated like outcasts, so together everyone was comfortable with each other.
I sat and tried to make myself realize that that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, until Gloria was telling me it was time to go. I waited at the closed doors to the church until I heard the beginning of 'The Wedding March', then the two men opened the doors and allowed me to walk down the aisle. The church was full, but I barely knew anyone there. They were all of Steven's friends and family, with the exception of a few people I had invited from college.
I walked and listened as a few people made snide comments about me not having a vale, or wearing shoes, but I didn't care. Should I, I wondered. Shouldn't I care what my future family thought about me? But I didn't.
I stood up beside Steven, listening to everything that was being said, but not fully processing it. I tried to hear it, but all that I could hear was Logan telling me that he loved me, that I deserved better, I could hear myself telling Logan that I loved him. I heard Logan asking me if I loved Steven.
"…for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" the preacher said as he finished reading my vows.
"No," I said.
"I'm sorry?" the preacher asked, looking confused.
"No, I don't," I repeated.
"What?" Steven asked.
I looked at him. "I'm sorry, you don't deserve this. I think you're a great guy, Steven, I really do. You're smart, you're sweet, you have been a really good friend to me, but I'm not in love with you. I could say yes, merry you and I could try to make you happy, but you deserve someone who loves you, who fits in with you family and friends. I'm just not that girl for you, I'm sorry,"
"When? I mean, when did this happen?" he asked.
"I've never been in love with you, but I thought that over time I could learn to be,"
"But why would you do that to me?"
"Because I liked you enough and I needed someone who I thought I could depend on. I've not had things as easily as I would have liked, so I was selfish and decided to take the easy way out when I saw it. I'm sorry," I said and then walked off.
I stayed inside the room in the church that I had been waiting in before the wedding; I was waiting for everyone to leave before leaving myself. I had been in the room for nearly half an hour before Gloria came bursting through, looking flustered.
"I'm sorry, you put a beautiful wedding together and I apologize for wasting your time," I said, gathering my things to leave.
"Don't worry about it Have, this isn't the first time I've had this happen. It is the first time, however, that the family has threatened not to pay me because someone didn't go through with the ceremony,"
"I can write you a check, if you want?" I said, searching through my purse.
"No, I'll work it out with them,"
"Okay, well, anyway, this is for you, since you did such a lovely job, I thought it was absolutely beautiful," I said, handing her an envelope that I had put a hundred dollars in for her.
"Thank you and I forgot, someone sent this to you earlier but I didn't get a chance to give it to you," she said, pulling out a pink rose from her bag. I looked at the card attached to it, reading the words and beginning to cry. "Well what does it say, honey?"
I wiped a tear away from my face and gave a little laugh. "It says 'Good luck, darlin,'" I said, wiping more tears from my eyes.
"Does it say who it's from?"
"No, but I know who sent it," I said with a smile. I also knew what I was supposed to do next.
I was genuinely nervous the whole flight to Westchester, scared of what might happen, what wouldn't happen. I played the wedding in my mind over and over, wondering if I should have handled it differently. I just wanted to make sure that everything was as right as I could make it.
When I got off the plane, it was past seven o'clock that evening and after taking a taxi to the school, it was fifteen minutes to eight. I walked through the door and the Professor greeted me.
"He's in the gym," he said to me as I opened my mouth to say hello.
I gave him a smile. "Thank you," I said, heading towards the gym. I passed by the dining room and saw that it was full of students eating dinner. I missed living there and I missed everyone that lived there. They were like a family to me, the only family I had left. I made my way down to the gym, but when I opened the door, I didn't see anyone.
"Logan!" I called out as I looked around for him. "Logan! Are you in here? Logan?"
"What do you want, kid?" I heard him growl from behind me.
I turned around and saw him sopping wet, holding a towel around him, looking annoyed and standing in the doorway that led to the men's showers. I fought back the urge to 'purr', considering I was trying to be serious.
"Put some clothes on, we need to talk," I said.
I sat down on one of the benches against the wall close to the men's dressing room and shower door. It only took a few minutes before he was walking out with just his blue jeans and pulling on a white wife beater.
He walked over to wear I was sitting but I stood before he could sit down, I felt too anxious to sit.
"What do we need to talk about?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Do you hate me?" I asked, beginning to cry much sooner that I thought I would.
"No, I don't hate you,"
"You should,"
"I told you a long time ago that I would always love you, I haven't changed my mind since then,"
"I let you down, I left you, and I hurt you,"
"Yeah, you did,"
"How can you still love me after everything that I've done to you?"
"Because I did the same thing to you, whether I remember it or not,"
"It sucks, doesn't it?" I asked, wiping the tears off my face with the back of my hand.
"Yeah, it does,"
"I…I thought that you would hate me for getting married and when I got your rose I cried. I was so scared to be down there by myself, without any of my family, none of those people knew me and when I saw it, I realized how much I missed it up here. So, if it's okay, could I move back?"
"What about Steven, where's he?"
"I thought about what you said a few weeks ago and…I couldn't do it, I didn't marry him, he's not where my heart's at," I said, standing in front of him, still in my wedding dress.
"Tell me what you want, kid,"
"I want you to forgive me for hurting you. I want you to keep loving me because I don't know what to do without it anymore. I want you to be there for me when something goes wrong, because that seems to happen a lot to me, and you're the only person who can help me through it. I want you to stay with me because you're…you're the only person who always knows what I need. You can make me feel better just by touching my hand. I never had anyone tell me I was beautiful until you did, and I could tell that you truly meant it every time you kissed me. I want to know if it's okay if I still love you?" Tears were streaming down my face and I was shaking from crying so hard.
I watched as his facial expression softened, he closed his eyes and I was confused as to whether there was a drop of water running down his face from his hair, or if it was a tear. He looked at me, his eyes full of an emotion I had never seen them in. "I can't do that," he said.
"Why?"
"I asked for you not to leave me, that's all I wanted, and you did,"
"I was engaged,"
"You left your wedding for me today, how does that make it any different?"
"I don't know, I just couldn't through with it because I love you,"
"Haven we're not doin' this anymore,"
"Please Logan, I'm sorry,"
"I know you are, but I waited two years for you, why did it take you so long for you to decide that you couldn't marry him?"
"Because I didn't realize it until I saw you again, I had forgotten how I felt about you,"
"You seem to forget a lot of important things, darlin',"
"I thought you said that you still loved me, though?"
"I do, but we're not goin' through this again. We're just two screwed up people who found each other, remember. That doesn't mean that we have to been together,"
"Logan, this will kill me," I started.
"Well, it's already killed me, so you'll get over it," he said and then walked away.
If you assumed that this would end with 'And they all lived happily ever after,' I'm very sad to disappoint you. There were a lot of people who were hurt: I had left Logan when he told me that it would kill him if I did, I had left Steven, a man who loved me, at the alter. You can call it romantic, sadistic, right or wrong, I personally don't know what it was, I just knew what I had to do, what was right for me, and I had to live with the consequences. I had to make a choice between a man that I had never loved and a man that I had always loved. I'm afraid to inform you that if you thought that this story had a happy ending, you would be wrong. But foolish me, I did too.
The End