Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Baskets. The plot would suck if I did.

The sun was slanting through the window pane, making the small room warmer than normal. Kyo woke up with his body teeming with sweat, his heart beating fast and his breath coming short. Pushing the blankets off, Kyo sat up and felt dizzy immediately. Lying back down with a sick groan, Kyo put a hand to his head and wiped some of the sweat out of his eyes. His stomach began to churn and he started to feel nauseous.

Looking over at the window, he rolled-over slowly and propped it open. Cool morning March air drafted into the sweltering room and his nausea went away instantly. Closing his eyes, he laid his head on the windowsill and allowed the fresh breeze to cool his body.

All the stress is making me sick… I deserve it though, for what I've done. Akito was right at the summer house… I am a monster.

As Kyo cooled off with each breeze, he could hear snatches of some soft music being played with each strong breeze. Opening his eyes slightly, he suddenly realized that it wasn't music, but Tohru humming while she did some morning laundry. His heart wrenched at the sweet sound, and his face screwed up in pain.

He knew that she was worried about him. As he lay in bed last night, she had knocked on his door softly with food for him, but he wouldn't answer; she wouldn't come in without being welcomed. He had heard her sad sigh, and had watched as the Tohru-shaped shadow that had darkened his door pattered softly away.

I will only hurt you… stay away from me…

But a nagging feeling persisted within him. Closing his eyes, the nausea returned.

I have… to tell her what happened…

Tohru was humming softly as she hung the last of the wash. Sighing, Tohru touched her forehead against the wet wash dangling from the line. What is he trying to protect me from…?

"Hey."

Tohru's eyes shot open and her heart began to race. Turning to face the voice of the one who had begun to claim her heart, she smiled happily as she looked into Kyo's pale face.

"Good morning!" She called happily, taking a step toward him.

Kyo saw this gesture and his nausea deepened. He took a step back. Don't come near me…

Kyo watched as Tohru's eyes clouded over with concern. He felt his throat tighten up at the thought of what he was about to tell her… I'm going to lose you forever…

"Tohru," Kyo said softly. "I… need to talk to you."

Tohru cocked her head to the side, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Looking into her soft brown eyes, Kyo swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to speak. Nothing came out. Breaking the gaze between them, Kyo stared at the ground.

"I need to talk to you about… Kyoko."

Tohru's eyes widened and her body froze up inside. "…Yes, Kyo?"

Kyo opened his mouth to speak, but instead felt the tell-tale prick of tears forming behind his eyes. "I… I'm so sorry."

Kyo put a hand to his face, shielding Tohru from his vision. All he could see was the clothes on the line fluttering softly in the wind.

"She… she was like a mother to me. Kyoko was my babysitter until I was old enough to take care of myself… The Sohma family would normally not do anything like that, hiring an outsider, not even related to the family. But they were desperate, especially after my own mother… committed suicide. Shishou took me in after that, but because of his dojo work he didn't always have time to pay attention to me… so he asked Kyoko to watch over me when she wasn't doing other work for him. She was already employed by Shishou as a cleaner, and he knew of her fiery personality…"

Kyo watched as the wind picked up the clothes and flapped them in the wind, still unable to look over at Tohru.

"I knew of you. When Kyoko had other work to do, I would sneak over and watch you through the window of your apartment to make sure that you were okay. She… she would talk about you a lot. Heh, she even asked me if I thought you were cute. Kyoko was a breath of fresh air compared to the stagnant air that circulated the Sohma house. She talked to me like I was a person… not a disease. She told me about your dad, and how they met and how she almost… left you for good… without even thinking about it. But you were the most important thing to her…"

Kyo chanced a glance at Tohru, and saw that her eyes were riveted on him, tears brimming, her face pale. Kyo's throat closed up and he screwed his face to hold back the impending tears. His eyes couldn't break away from Tohru's pain-filled gaze.

"I… stopped having to be watched by her as often when I grew old enough to go into high school. She still worked for Shishou, so I would see her a lot and we would talk. But…"

Kyo's eyes opened wide and he watched as Tohru's eyes spilled over with tears unchecked. He was unable to stop talking to comfort her…

"But the last time I saw her was May first."

Tohru felt her insides jump. The day Mom died.

Kyo looked away.

"I had been cutting school. Shishou asked Kyoko to walk me and make sure that I went. She told me that I needed to go to school; that because she had only finished middle school she wanted me to go farther than her…

"We were talking as we walked. I didn't feel very good because it had rained earlier that morning…"

Kyo's eyes widened and his face went blank. Looking straight into Tohru's eyes, tears poured silently down his cheeks.

"We had just stepped out into the street and were starting to cross... A car sped around the corner so fast that I reacted; I pushed Kyoko to the sidewalk. I braced myself for impact… but saw the car swerve to miss me… and ran straight into where I had thrown Kyoko on the sidewalk."

Kyo put a hand to his face, tears streaming, trying to hide from Tohru's blank gaze.

"The car… it hit her… and a wall… there was so much blood…"

Covering his eyes, he scrunched up his face and began to sob. His hand soon turned into a fist. Kyo's face turned red.

"I-I killed her! If I only had thrown her to the other side! If I would have just left her standing in the road with me…"

Kyo's breathing picked up, his heart beat madly in his chest. I'm going to lose her forever.

"I panicked. I… all I could see was blood. I ran blindly and ended up running into a woman; she had seen everything. I didn't care that whoever it was saw me change and ran straight to Shishou… For four months he tried to help me forget up in the mountains. But how can you forget something like that!"

Kyo let the tightness in his chest build. His throat threatened to close with every tear that escaped his eyes.

Looking up at Tohru, he saw her staring at him like… she was truly scared of him. He felt his heart break.

"I was so shocked… I came back because Shishou said that I had missed too much school, even though I had been working on my studies in the mountain dojo. I was so shocked to find you here…"

Kyo held out his hand and took a step toward Tohru. She cringed reflexively and backed a step.

Kyo felt his heart literally break. I have lost her. She won't come near me anymore.

"Tohru… I'm so sorry."

Kyo watched as she started to sob uncontrollably. Anger and despair filled Kyo, and without a second thought he launched himself off the balcony.

I can't hurt her any more.