Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 32
Disclaimers: I don't own these characters. I do not own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. This story is purely fictional and is not meant to represent any situation or person living or dead
A/N: Thanks again to all of you who are reading. Thanks you to Aero girl for making me look good.
A/N: KEEP IN MIND: This story was begun last fall; these chapters in particular were written in October and November '04. Any similarities to current events were not intentional.
Spoilers: Anything up to Retrial and some of the spoilers is fair game. Though as in previous chapters, I have my own take on the sequence and circumstance of events.
1100
Monday
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac left Commander McCool's office feeling ready for battle. She was not angry but she felt ready for whatever might happen during her upcoming meeting with General Creswell.
Her first appointment was at 0900 after having her fasting blood work done for Captain Morrison and for Dr. Ahrens at Johns Hopkins. The captain seemed pleased with her progress but as always appeared cautiously optimistic. Depending on the results of her blood work, she would be returning in two weeks if all testing was within normal limits. If there were some concerns she would be returning sooner and also be required to undergo an Octriatide scan to further assess her condition.
Commander McCool was also pleased with her progress. They picked up their discussion about what she wanted from her life. Mac was surprised that her answers were as simple as they turned out to be. She wanted a permanent relationship with someone who loved her. She wanted to continue her career and she wanted a family. Commander McCool asked her how she intended to have that family.
"We really don't know yet. I still want very much to have a biological child with Harm. We haven't really discussed it at length, but I know he won't agree to anything that will put me at risk. Captain Morrison has already said that there is a higher risk of a return of the tumor if I conceive too early."
"How do you feel about that?"
"You told me to think about what I really wanted and not what I thought other people wanted. This is one of the things I want. I have dreamed of this child for over five years."
"What else do you want for yourself?" Commander McCool pressed her further.
"I want to continue my career in the Marines. I am a good Marine. I am a good lawyer if I do say so myself. I want to be happy."
"Do you have an idea what will make you happy?"
"It makes me happy to be a part of Harm's life. I feel closer to him than I ever have, really closer to him than I have ever allowed myself to be with anyone. I want to be a part of his family and I want to make one of our own together."
"Does Harm know that you feel this way?"
"I know that he loves me. I know he is there for me. We haven't discussed marriage but we have discussed children together and always being there for each other That is really enough for me right now."
"What are you proud of, Colonel?" The commanders asked changing the direction of the discussion.
"I am proud that I am a Marine, that I am a JAG attorney. I came a long way from that trailer park outside Camp Pendleton."
"What are you proud of personally?"
Mac was quiet. Commander McCool studied her for a moment, giving her time to gather her thoughts. Mac, who was seated on the couch, stood and walked across the room. She looked out the window.
"I can't think of many things that I'm proud of personally."
Commander McCool frowned and said, "Your relationship with Chloe? What about your role in helping her find her father? You have many friends, Colonel. You must be a good friend to the people in your life."
"I am most of the time. I can't say I've let very many people in, in the past year or so."
"You've been through some pretty extraordinary circumstances, Colonel. Your friends have understood that, surely."
Mac thought of her confrontation with Sturgis, of the terrible things she had said to and about Harm. She knew both situations were resolved but guilt still niggled at the back of her mind.
"Yes they have, or I think they do now. Mrs. Rabb told me something last week that I haven't been able to forget, she said that I had to choose between living in the present and being happy or living in my past mistakes and being miserable."
"Good advice," the commander said. "Colonel, our time is up for now. I believe you are making very good progress. I think you still need to work on how you see yourself personally. I believe your ability to allow others into your life is working in your favor."
They stood and walked toward the door of Commander McCool's office. "I would like you to consider this and we will discuss it at our next session. Your health issues have made you look at your life differently and that has been a good thing. It seems to have helped you focus on what is important to you now. Your condition is such that you must view it with a realistic eye, but it is also important that you plan to have a long life. It is important to your health physically as well as mentally. Where do you intend to be in 5 years? In 10 years? I want you to plan in detail."
Mac shook her hand and said, "Thank you, Commander"
She walked down the hallway and a junior officer acknowledged her with a nod and a "Ma'am" She returned it. She drew a deep breath and thought, 'I'm still me.' As she walked toward the exit to her car, she felt a surge of pride and something she couldn't quite name. She was ready to see the general now.
1300
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
General Creswell sat at his desk. He had been reviewing Colonel Mackenzie's service record with interest. She had an exemplary career. Her evaluations had been stellar from the beginning of her career until now. Her record also held references to an incident that ended the military career of his oldest friend. He could not honestly say he didn't have very strong personal feelings about Colonel Mackenzie's role in that fiasco. He also knew that John also had a responsibility to do the right thing and he had not. He'd disobeyed a direct order and gotten himself assigned to commanding a maintenance detail at Quantico. The incident with the colonel's 'husband' was the last nail in the coffin. Colonel Mackenzie was waiting to see him. He sat back in his chair and steepled his fingers. He had always seen himself as a fair man. He never claimed to be easily swayed in his opinion, but he knew that he had always been honest and he had always been fair.
The general buzzed Coates. "Send in Colonel Mackenzie, Petty Officer."
Mac walked into the office and came to attention. The general stood behind his desk as she entered. He walked around his desk. He was a very imposing figure. His aura spoke strength without his having to say a word. Mac steeled herself inwardly. She could not help but respect who General Creswell was, but she did not fear him. After fearing cancer and the loss of her very life, anything else seemed smaller in comparison. She was still here and she would 'live to fight another day.'
"At ease, Colonel. What is your medical status as of today?"
"Sir, I am to remain on medical leave for the next 4 weeks, with a follow-up in 2 weeks with my oncologist and also an endocrinologist who is following my case from Johns Hopkins."
"Very well." The general walked toward the fireplace. Mac continued to face forward. "Colonel, we will not dance around this issue but we will discuss this only once, is that understood?"
"Yes sir."
"I am aware of certain incidents in your past that involve a very close friend and comrade. I have strong personal feelings about these incidents, all of which I intend to keep to myself. Your record here at JAG is exemplary and I see no reason that would indicate that you will not continue to perform at that level. However, I will be replacing you as Chief of Staff. You health status being in question makes it necessary to get an officer in place who can give one hundred percent."
The general walked back to his desk and stood behind it. He did not sit down. "I have spoken to Admiral Morris about the possibility of your joining them on the judiciary. He says that you performed your duties well and that he thought you would be an asset." He paused for a moment and said, "Your thoughts on the matter, Colonel?"
Mac had expected being replaced as Chief of Staff. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Within reason, Colonel."
"Yes sir. I expected to be replaced as Chief of Staff and I did enjoy my time serving on the bench. I would like to continue to be a part of JAG as long as my health will allow. I will accept your judgment in these matters. I would also like to say, sir, that I regret some decisions I made personally but I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish. I appreciate your candor in this matter, sir."
"Very well, Colonel. You are dismissed."
"Sir." And with that Mac left the room. She walked through the bullpen, nodding to Bud and Sturgis as she headed for the elevators. She was not upset. She actually felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Whatever happened now, she was going forward. The good work she had done here could not be undone by anyone.
2240
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Mac lay back on the pillows.. She loved this bed. This room was perfect as well. Neat and clean and very very masculine. What a day it had been. She'd come home from her meeting with General Creswell, got a shower and passed out. Jen and Mattie brought dinner at around 1700. It was some kind of casserole. It tasted good but she could not for the life of her say exactly what was in it. Mattie stayed and did her homework. She and Mac had some hot chocolate and had a little bit of girl talk. There was a boy that Mattie called kind of a boyfriend. Harm was really going to like that, she thought, smiling. She suspected that Mattie had stayed to keep an eye on her. The phone rang then, pulling Mac from her reverie.
"Hey, sailor."
"Hey, Marine, how did it go today?"
"A lot better than I expected."
"That's great, Mac. How about the other two appointments?"
She told Harm about both of them. She spoke more in general terms when she talked about Commander McCool. She didn't want to get into the baby issue with him now.
"How is it going with you?"
"Okay. We're just getting started, really. There are a lot of people to talk to. The press in Britain is all over this, so that doesn't help. You sound tired; are you okay otherwise?"
"I fine but I am tired. I can't believe I'm still awake. I haven't needed any strong pain medicine today. I have some over the counter stuff that seems to be covering things just fine."
Harm was worried that Mac wasn't more upset about losing her Chief of Staff position. Was she hiding her true feelings from him? "So you're going back to the bench, huh?"
"Yeah, maybe you were right. I do know the law."
"I respected you in that role, Mac."
"Yeah... after a few bumps in the road," Mac said, smirking.
Harm laughed. "Yeah, we had those, but I did apologize and I even told you in front of the admiral that I knew you were better at that particular aspect of the law than I was."
"Yes, you did. I will miss the investigations and working on cases with you. We do make a beautiful team."
"I have to agree, counselor…I mean, your honor." Harm chuckled. "We're still connected in our work and other things now."
"Oh…what other things, Harmon?"
"Don't start, Mac – you know what I mean." Harm chuckled deep in his chest.
"Yes, I do. I just couldn't resist giving you a hard time."
Mac was really starting to sound sleepy. He knew he should go and let her go to sleep. He just needed to talk a few more minutes. He had left her many times before but never had he felt the tug at his heart and body as he felt now. He had missed her before, but they were connected in a way they had never been in the past.
"Hey, I'd better let you get to sleep."
"It's okay, Harm. I don't have to get up early tomorrow."
"No, I'd better go. I have a meeting with McBurney in about 10 minutes, and besides, that sleepy sexy voice of yours is killing me."
"Oh, Harmon," she growled. "You've given me another weapon against you."
"Fire away, Mac," he said. Mac could hear the smile in his voice.
They hung up shortly after that. Harm sat at his desk for a moment. He thought about why their connection was so different now, so strong. He was hers body and soul now. He remembered something Annie Pendry had said about her husband Luke. He had been afraid of her reaction to rumors about Luke being unfaithful. She dismissed them out of hand because, she said, "I was his and he was mine." He remembered that he didn't think he would ever be able to feel that sure of anyone.
He did now.
Chapter 33
0830
Friday
Green zone
Baghdad, Iraq
Harm was reviewing the case file in front of him. This was not going to be an easy task. He had finished his interviews with the junior officers under Lt. Colonel Alexander Gregg's command. The consensus was as had been reported before. He had been verbally and physically abusive.
NCIS had also performed an investigation. It seemed that along with the allegations of abuse of his subordinates there were also accusations of prisoner abuse. The conversation with Gibbs had been interesting. The prisoner abuse was unfounded. It seemed that the prisoners didn't like disrobing for medical exams. Gibbs had said, "They didn't like the 'turn your head and cough' routine." Harm smirked at the thought and shook his head.
The hell of it all was that these men had fought with honor and distinction on the battlefield. Their valor would be tainted now by what had been seen on television and by a prison scandal that had nothing to do with them. In the minds of some people they would be tarred with the same brush.
Major McBurney knocked on the open door. "Sir, General Watson would like to see us now."
Harm looked up and thought to himself 'what now?'
They were summoned into General Watson's office and came to attention.
"At ease, gentlemen. As you may be aware, Colonel Gregg's unit is set to return to the States on the 8th. They will be aboard the Saipan. You gentlemen will accompany them and complete your interviews with senior and junior enlisted personnel. You will forward your report to Lt. General Marcus, the Expeditionary Force Commander."
Harm's heart sank. He'd thought he might be able to get out of here a bit early. He planned to get a lot of the interviews complete this weekend. It would be at least two weeks until they docked in Norfolk. 'Damn,' he thought.
"Sir, May I ask the reason that we need to conduct the interviews aboard ship?" McBurney asked.
Harm was wondering the same thing but had not thought it prudent to ask. He thought he already knew the reason anyway.
The general looked from McBurney to Harm.
"You may. It is my opinion, Major, that the interviews would be better conducted out of this war zone with the men having time to gain a bit of perspective. Is that clear enough, Major, or would you like me to elaborate?" The general gave the Major a penetrating stare.
McBurney swallowed and replied, "No, sir."
They were dismissed and headed back to their office. They both sat down without saying a word. McBurney knew he had overstepped but he also knew that he was not satisfied with the answer he had been given. He looked at Harm. Harm returned the look and said,
"Okay, Major, spill it."
McBurney got up from his chair and walked across the room. He closed the door to their office. "I still don't understand why we have to conduct those interviews aboard ship. It seems suspicious to me. There is so much scrutiny on this case; why would he want to do something that might throw up a red flag to the press?"
"There are a number of reasons that I can think of. One may be separating the interviews officer from enlisted may be a way to ensure that the men speak freely. Another reason may be because the press is all over this; we can control the environment in which we gather the testimony so that we can get a clearer picture unencumbered by fear of television cameras."
Harm continued, "The general had ordered that the report not be released and that it would go straight to the Expeditionary Force commander. This would also lessen chances of leaks to the press before the report was complete."
It was a good plan, and in the end, the major understood and grudgingly agreed.
They had to get their gear together and be ready to catch the ship by 1200 tomorrow. He had to call Mac. He would wait, though, until he could focus on their conversation. They hadn't spoken since Monday. They'd sent a few e-mails, but he needed to talk to her one more time before he left.
2315
Friday
Harm's apartment
Mac sat on the bed Indian style. She had spread a newspaper out on the blankets and was reading. She had bought the paper earlier and had not had time to read it. Jen and Mattie had dropped by and invited Mac to the movies with them. They had seen 'Alexander'; it was a good movie. They went for coffee, or hot chocolate for Mattie, afterward. It was a typical misty night in November. She missed Harm. She wanted to take a long walk with him, her arm linked in his, walking in step.
The phone rang, startling her. She looked at the clock. It had to be Harm. She swore she could tell by the sound of the ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mackenzie, what are you doing up so late? It's way past your bedtime." Harm chuckled. He had finally finished everything and now he could just kick back and talk to Mac for awhile. He had 90 minutes left on his calling card. It was nice to be in the JAG office with easier access to phones, he was fortunate and he knew it.
"How are things going, Harm? Tell me you're almost finished and you're on your way back…right?" Harm could hear the smile in her voice. He hoped she would understand what he had to say next.
"Well, that's just it. I have to take the Saipan back to Norfolk to complete our interviews."
Mac was quiet for a second.
"Mac?"
"I'm here. I'm just thinking, that's all. I'm trying to figure out what day that will get you back here. It should be early Thanksgiving week if we're lucky." She did understand and at least now they had a light at the end of the tunnel. He was on his way and that was all that mattered to her right now.
"You're okay with this, then?"
"I'm fine, I would love to have you home sooner but I do understand. From what you've told me, I knew this wouldn't be a walk in the park. I also don't want you to rush back here on my account and risk…..anything." She was thinking of Harm's crash into the Atlantic when he tried to get home when she insisted he be there.
Harm heard the hesitation in her voice and spoke to reassure her. "It really is for the better as far as the report is concerned, although McBurney almost got his ass chewed out by General Watson when he asked him why we needed to take the ship back." Harm chuckled. "It's nice to see him getting on someone else's nerves besides mine. And Mac, I'm not risking anything. I'll be back before you know it." He paused for a moment and asked the question that nagged him from time to time, especially now. "Any regrets about that time, Mac?"
"You mean the crash? Well, I have a few. I regret that you were hurt so badly and that I pressured you to come back. And that it took the crash for me to realize that Mic didn't have my whole heart. I don't believe he would have handled this well. He always said the right words but he just wasn't very deep emotionally."
'No kidding,' Harm thought.
"I'd just never had that kind of love at that point, so I didn't realize anything was missing until your crash. I was so upset and afraid I'd never see you again. He spoke supportive words and then immediately tried to smooth things over and go on with the wedding as though nothing earth-shattering had happened. I knew then that I had more of an emotional investment in you than I wanted to believe. I think Mic knew it too."
"I'm sorry, Mac. I'm not sorry that you didn't marry him. I'm sorry that you were so hurt by it all. It seems that the pain from that time started us on the wrong path and we just kept going."
"We're not there anymore, sailor," Mac said. "Hey, this little cruise will give me a little more time to get better before you get home. I think I may try and do a little running at the fitness center. Indoors, to start with, so I can get my legs under me again."
"Thanks for the visual, Mac. I've been thinking about those legs quite a lot lately."
"I'm glad to hear it. I feel kind of bad. Me in my frumpy bathrobe before you left."
"I told you, Mac, you looked beautiful to me, and besides, I have a lot of memories of you in different stages of dress. Hey, that bathrobe pales in comparison." Harm laughed softly into the phone.
"I feel bad that we didn't have much time before my surgery and I haven't been in the best shape. I'm not the way I had hoped to be if you and I ever got together."
"Mac, I will never forget our time together. We finally crossed the divide. We're not going back to the way it was before. I wouldn't trade anything for that weekend we had on Tilghman Island. I can wait for you, Mac. As long as you need me to. I was alone for a long time before that."
Mac suspected he had been. She knew it was selfish but she was so glad. He was hers and she wanted to believe he had been for a long time.
0645
U.S.S. Saipan
Somewhere in the Atlantic
Harm had been awake nearly an hour. He was finishing up his report. It had been over two weeks since he had talked to Mac. They were one day and a wake up away from Norfolk. He was taking a hop out of NAS Norfolk to Andrews. Mac was going to pick him up there.
He had completed his report and it looked as though the lieutenant colonel would be fired from his position. It was a shame. He was well thought of by his junior enlisted men. Harm had heard over and over again that Lieutenant Colonel Gregg had done his job better than anyone else could have and that he kept casualties to a minimum. Many of the senior enlisted thought that the allegations were politically motivated. The truth was somewhere in between. The fact remained that in the present climate, the BBZ video was damning and it left the unit open to unfounded accusations of abuse. He would be awarded nonjudical punishment with a punitive letter of reprimand in his record. It was a career killer to be sure. The colonel had been a rising star in the corps and now his new position would be mediocre at best.
He saw that he had an e-mail and opened it. It was from Mac, and it read:
Hey Sailor,
Saw Captain Morrison and Commander Fletcher. Doing well.
Lots to tell you when you get home.
I love you.
Green light, Commander
LOL
Mac
Harm sat back in his seat and stared at the message. A smile spread slowly across his face.
If that meant what he thought it did, it was going to be a great homecoming….Indeed.
1530
Andrews Air Force Base
Langley, Virginia
Harm had started looking for Mac as soon as they touched down. He saw her as he got out of the plane. She stood just inside the doorway of the reception area. She was not in uniform. She wore a skirt and sweater in a beautiful shade of amber. The sun was shining, making her hair to appear a rich chestnut color. He could have sworn he could see the cinnamon brown of her eyes. His mouth went dry. She was walking toward him, smiling radiantly. She embraced him and he kissed her cheek. He tucked her under his arm and hugged her close. He was careful not to press her too closely. He was holding on to his self control by a thread. He had missed her so much. Now seeing her, having her close and the scent of her perfume… it was almost sensory overload. She was so beautiful and she felt so good in his arms. He stroked her arm and kissed her temple as they walked. He wondered if she could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He knew that he could hear it pounding in his ears.
Mac hugged him close after he had kissed her. "Hello, you," she said.
She thought he looked almost shy when she looked up at him. She knew then he was trying to stay in control of himself. She understood that now. They had to have dinner at home with Mattie and then send her off with Tom tonight. It was Thanksgiving break. That would leave them the long weekend to catch up. She could feel his heart beating against her side as she walked with him and a slight tremor in his touch as he stroked her arm.
They got into Harm's SUV which Mac had driven to pick him up. Harm wanted to drive. 'It will give me something else to think about and something to do with my hands,' he thought. Mac slipped into the seat beside him and closed her door. He didn't look at her. He didn't trust himself to. He took her hand and held it on his thigh.
Mac smiled at him. Oh, if she weren't trying to be nice, she could really mess with him now. 'I already got him with the skirt,' she thought with a mischievous grin.
They were nearly to Harm's apartment. Harm still had Mac's hand in his; he was tracing the bones in her hand from her wrist to her fingers using his thumb. He was pressing harder and harder the closer they got to his apartment. He pressed too hard and Mac winced.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mac."
They had pulled into his parking place at his apartment. He had to look at her then.
"It's alright, Harm." Their eyes locked for a moment and then he looked at her lips.
"Mac, if I don't get out of here I'm not going to be able to get through this afternoon with Mattie and Tom."
"I know," she said. She looked a little wistful.
'Just one kiss, we can do that,' he thought. Harm looked at her and said, "Just one, baby."
When he kissed her, her lips felt so soft and full. He just wanted inside; he deepened the kiss and felt his control start to slip. Mac drew back and looked at him through half closed eyes. She bit his lower lip and Harm could not keep the groan from escaping before kissing her again and nearly pulling her across the console into his lap. It was awkward, but her kiss tasted so good and was doing things to his body that overshadowed any discomfort.
A horn sounded somewhere on the street causing them to break their kiss. They both laughed a little and decided they had better go in to Mattie and stop tempting fate.
Mattie had come home from school while Mac had gone to pick up Harm. She heard the elevator come up and she flew out the door. When the doors opened, she flew into Harm's arms, nearly knocking him down. Harm was laughing so much he nearly did fall down.
Tom was due any moment and Mac had dinner started before she left. Nothing fancy: steaks and salad for the meat eaters and grilled salmon for Harm. The dinner conversation flowed easily. Harm focused mostly on Mattie. He had missed her too and knew she would be gone soon. Hopefully there wouldn't be any more deployments for a while.
Tom and Mattie left around 2000, and Mac cleared the table while Harm walked out with Tom and Mattie. Mac was standing at the kitchen sink when Harm came back in. She smiled at him over her shoulder. She turned back to look out the window, seeing their guests drive away.
Harm walked up beside Mac, facing her. He had meant to place his hand at the small of her back, a casual gesture. His thumb slipped under the hem of her sweater and he felt that her skin was so soft and warm that it was nearly his undoing. Mac turned toward him, but he was looking down, determined not to lose control and avoiding her gaze. She started to look away when he looked into her eyes. What she saw there startled her. She saw raw, almost dangerous need…. for her. He needed her, and she thought at that moment that even if it killed her he would have whatever he wanted. In her entire life she had never felt a desire this strong to please any man. Now it was beyond her control and she found that it didn't frighten her anymore. She started to say his name, and Harm stopped her with a deep, soul-wrenching kiss.
He felt as though his body was gliding along into something and he had no desire to stop it. He wanted her and needed to get closer, his body was very much ahead of his mind. He meant to slow things down but found he had no ability to do so. She had turned into his embrace and curved her leg around his, pulling him closer to her. He broke their kiss with a sharp intake of breath.
She looked into his eyes and said, "Come on, Harm." It was not an expression of exasperation but of invitation.
What little control he had left him with that invitation and he lifted her into his arms, her legs wound snugly around his back. He ran his hands up her legs to their very top; Mac drew in a breath and said his name. He held her to him and carried her into his bedroom.
She slid down his body, and he turned her around, pressing her to him. He spoke into her hear in a deep whisper, heavy with desire. "Mac, please…I just have to get inside..." He had lifted her as if weightless and fit her body to his. Mac arched her back, giving herself over to the passion they both felt. His hands were firm but not grasping, holding her body just so, like a dance that Mac had no desire to control. He did not hurt her but he was not as careful as he had been before. She didn't need him to be that now, her desire matched his own and he seemed to already know that. He lifted her upper body closer into his arms, pulling her close burying his face in her hair and together they let go.
Their breathing slowed and he slowly released her. She turned and smiled at him mischievously. "So, Harm…um, did you miss me?"
They both laughed and fell onto the bed. Harm pulled her back into his arms and kissed her. She drew back and looked at Harm's feet.
"Next time, sailor, take off your shoes."
Chapter 34
Warning: This section deals with MINOR character death.
1600
Thanksgiving Day
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Mrs. Rabb put the finishing touches on the table. Her guests waited in the living room. Jack O'Reilly was there with his son Sam and also his wife Kathie. Oscar slept in front of the fireplace and soft music played on the radio.
Kathie walked into the kitchen. "Can I help, Sarah?"
Mrs. Rabb looked up from the table and said, "I'm just finishing up. In fact, you can get the boys and tell them to come to the table."
Kathie smiled at her. "This looks like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting." And she left to get Sam and her father in law Jack.
Mrs. Rabb thought that Kathie and Sam made a wonderful couple. Kathie was like her: tall and strong, with striking gray eyes and a beautiful complexion. She had very little gray in her hair. She and her husband were the same age, but she looked at least 10 years younger.
They sat down to dinner, and Sam asked, "Will Harmon be coming back over the holiday weekend?"
"No, I think he and Mac will be spending it in Washington. They say they will be coming out the weekend after, though. It will depend on how Mac's first week at work goes. If not then, I'll see them over Christmas, I'm sure."
Jack dug into his sweet potato casserole and said, "He'll sure be sorry he missed this."
1845
Thanksgiving night
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac lay in his bed locked tightly in an embrace. They had not left the apartment since they'd arrived yesterday. They hadn't been out of his bedroom much since yesterday, either. Mac started to let go and move out of his arms for a moment. He drew her close again and said, "Where are you going?"
"I just thought you might need a little room to breathe."
"No, I'm just fine. I like having you close to me. I feel as though I've been gone longer than 4 weeks." He laughed at himself, a little embarrassed by the admission. "I cant seem to get enough of touching you."
"Don't worry, flyboy, your secret is safe with me." She tucked herself back into his embrace, her head resting on his shoulder and tucked under his chin.
"Hey, what time is it, anyway?"
"It's nearly 1900."
"Mac, we missed Thanksgiving."
"There is still a little time left. Want me see what we can pull together for our dinner?"
"No, you're fine right here." He thought for a moment then asked, "Are you hungry?"
She lifted her head and rested it on her hand. She looked into his eyes, "So is that an offer to make dinner, sailor?"
"It could be. Do you want something?"
He smiled at her slyly. He had lost count of how many times they had made love. He still felt it all the way down his spine every time she looked into his eyes. He was sure he would never get enough of her.
Mac laughed softly and touched his cheek. He took that hand and kissed her palm. Mac had loaded the CD player with all kinds of sweet slow jazz and just then Anita Baker softly and powerfully sang 'just love me body and soul'.
She answered. "Yeah, I think I do."
1600
London Time
Trafalgar Square
London, England
Trish and Frank were leisurely strolling along, taking in all the sights. Trish noticed a woman and her toddler, a little boy with striking blue eyes. He held his arms up to his mother and said, "Hold me."
Trish remembered little Harm. Even as a toddler he seemed to want to protect her. He would always say "Hold you mom?" when he wanted her to pick him up.
Frank turned to his wife and said "Trish?" when they were knocked backward and down to the ground.
A car bomb had exploded not 20 yards from them. Frank thought 'what the hell?' He looked at his wife and she appeared to have been knocked unconscious. He didn't see a wound or any blood anywhere. He shook her and she did not respond.
"Trish?" he called over and over. "Someone help!" Sirens screamed, but it was too late; she was already gone.
Trish heard someone calling her, and then suddenly she was walking down the drive at the farm in Pennsylvania. She saw her son walking up the drive toward her. She smiled and continued to walk toward him. As she approached him, she realized that this was not her son but her husband. She felt a sharp pain in her heart that took her breath, and then she ran to him. He embraced her.
She said, "Oh, you're home."
He pulled back from her embrace and brushed the hair back from her face. "No, Trisha, you are."
2230
Thanksgiving night
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac finally decided they had better take some nourishment or they would both be in trouble. They had showered and dressed and were just finishing their meal when they heard a knock on the door.
Harm looked through the security lens. "Sturgis?" He opened the door.
"I'm sorry to barge in on you two this late but this would not wait." Sturgis looked at Harm, wondering how in the world he could tell him this.
Mac sensed right away that something was terribly wrong. She instinctively walked toward Harm. Something was happening, something that was going to hurt Harm…badly.
"Come in, Sturgis, have a seat." The hair was standing up on the back of Harm's neck. He could feel it. They all sat down in his living room. Mac sat next to Harm and Sturgis on the chair across from them. She took Harms hand, and he asked,
"What's going on?"
Sturgis started to speak, he was struggling. He stood and walked over to the window. "There is no easy way to do this"
"Just spill it, Sturgis, you're making me nervous as hell." Harm had the most terrible feeling of foreboding. Mac squeezed his hand.
"Harm, our CO got a call from the State Department tonight." He shook his head and plunged in. "He asked me to come and tell you…tell you that your mother and Frank were near a car bomb that exploded in London." Sturgis looked down and said, "Harm, your mother was killed."
Harm started as though he had been physically hit with something. "What?" He slowly got up from the couch and walked toward Sturgis. "No…I…they were on vacation. She..."
Then he understood and fell silent. He began to pace the room and Sturgis told him the details as he knew them. 'Damn them all,' he thought. Damn every terrorist who ever built a bomb.
"No one has claimed responsibility," Sturgis continued. "Your mother was the only casualty."
Harm stopped pacing and looked at Sturgis. The words were like a knife in his heart, pain that was sharp and so real. "I have to get out of here."
He grabbed his jacket and keys in one fluid motion and he was out the door. Mac had been watching him. Her heart breaking for him, but she was helpless to do anything until he was able to absorb what had happened.
Sturgis looked at Mac and said, "Mac, I didn't know how else to tell him."
"Its okay, Sturgis; there really wasn't an easy way to do this. This can't have been easy for you. Stay a little while. I'll make you a cup of coffee."
2340
The Wall
Washington D.C.
Harm stood before the section of the Wall that held his father's name. He had no idea how he had gotten there or how long he had been standing here. Why was it that he drew comfort from this cold and lonely place? He ran his thumb over the letters and then realized, she was with his father now. Tears started in his eyes, but he composed himself quickly. He thought that if he let himself break down he'd never get it together again.
He thought of Mac then and he spoke her name aloud, "Mac." He had to get back to his apartment, to her...
0035
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Mac was in the bedroom when she heard Harm come in the door. He walked to the couch and sat down. She walked out of the bedroom and toward him. He was leaning forward with his head down and she knelt in front of him and gathered him into an embrace. She knew that he didn't need to talk now. He just needed to know he wasn't alone. Harm wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. He felt a sob rise in his throat. He tried not to let it go, but as she soothed his back and kissed his hair, he just broke down.
"Hang on, Harm, its okay; it's going to be okay."
He cried for a long time with Mac held tightly in his embrace. He loosened his embrace after a time but could not let her look at his face. Into her ear he said, "I went to the …" he was still choking back tears.
Mac finished for him. "To the Wall?"
He nodded. "Then it occurred to me…She's with him now." He tightened his embrace once again.
"Oh, honey," Mac said, smoothing his hair, trying to will away the pain she knew he felt.
They went back to bed. Mac cradled Harm in her arms and soothed his head with her fingers. She kissed his forehead and said, "I love you."
He nuzzled her neck and kissed it. "You too." What would he have done without her? The news of his mother's death made him feel like a ship without an anchor, lost; but the thought of Mac, here waiting – she seemed to him a lifeline. They held on to each other and never let go all night.
TBC