Chapter 4
"You've come just to see me?" Victoria found it difficult to contain her elation. The last time he'd risked such a thing, she'd gone and ruined their afternoon by calling the lancers attention to a bandit robbing the mission poor-box. Well that wasn't going to happen this time!
"Mmm, hmm." The smile that curled the corner of his mouth sent chills down her spine.
She launched herself into his arms and he embraced her tightly. Their lips met in a sweet, passionate kiss that left them both breathless, and their bodies tingling with restrained desire.
"Zorro-" her eyes held an unspoken request.
A gloved finger pressed against her lips. "Soon, querida. I promise."
She closed her eyes to hide the shame of her immoral thoughts and sighed heavily.
When he pressed a gentle kiss to her eyelids, her cheek, trailing his delicious lips to the pulse point of her throat, her hands instinctively slid around his shoulders. Slim fingers slipped beneath the back of his mask to delve into his soft, dark hair.
He didn't immediately pull her hands away, simply leaned back slightly, his eyes searching hers.
"I know it's not time." She refused to look away. "I just want to know so badly."
"And I want you to know, querida, more than anything." His voice was low, soft, husky.
As they embraced once again, their lips met and clung hungrily before being drawn apart by a loud crashing in the tavern's front room. Victoria and Zorro rushed through the kitchen curtains and watched in horror as armed lancers filed into the room and leveled their muskets at the masked man.
Victoria's scream echoed off the hacienda walls as she awoke from her dream.
"I'm the reason he's dead." She cried as Alejandro rushed into the room to embrace her tightly.
"No. Victoria." Alejandro closed his eyes, forcing back his own tears. "De Soto-"
"No!" She cried and wrenched herself out of his tender embrace. "Zorro came to see me! That's why he was in town that day." She buried her face in Diego's pillow and cried so hard into it that she was gasping for air. "I'm the reason he's dead!"
After a few moments of silence, she continued, "Zorro . . . told . . . me . . . once," Each word was punctuated by sobs. "That I should marry someone like . . . like . . . Diego."
Alejandro inhaled sharply at this but allowed her to continue uninterrupted.
"When I was shot, he came to see me and . . . why didn't I listen to him?" She turned tear-filled eyes on Alejandro. "How could I have missed that clue? And it wasn't the only one he'd given me. He wanted me to know! He wanted me to guess this secret that had kept us apart for so long. But I was too blind to see it! I was too enamored," she spat the word as if it were a curse, "of the legend to see the real man behind the mask. And now it's too late!"
She took a few deep breaths before continuing, wiping angrily at her tears. "I don't deserve him. I never did. I deserve this pain, this loneliness. I wronged Diego in so many ways and now I can't apologize to him for it all!"
"If you wronged him, Victoria, then I drove a knife into his heart day in and day out." Alejandro's voice cracked and Victoria gazed at him through tear-filled eyes. "I was so clear about my disappointment in him. I called him a coward once." Alejandro rested his hands on her shoulders, his eyes boring into hers.
"We didn't deserve him." Victoria repeated and lifted her eyes to the sky. "Now he is forever separated from us and we, we can't tell him how sorry we are. We can't tell him how much we truly loved him."
Alejandro simply closed his eyes and held her, his own tears mingling with her own.
Two days passed and Victoria simply refused to leave Diego's room. She ate little. She drank only when a glass was put to her lips. The dark circles surrounding her eyes only got worse and her shoulders slumped in weary resignation.
Housemaids didn't question the reason for the young señorita using Diego's room but whispers between the house staff ran rampant. It was clear they were confused at the melancholy mood the family had adopted but Alejandro ignored them.
When Alejandro returned from a meeting with the caballeros, he found Victoria curled on his son's bed, reading one of Diego's favorite books. Old leather bound volumes rested on the bedside table as Victoria read through them between her tears. When Alejandro sat on the bed, Victoria didn't even glance up, so engrossed in the sad tale that she didn't bother to acknowledge the man who should have been her father by marriage.
"I'm going to Santa Barbara to see my lawyer and then to Monterey to visit with the governor," Alejandro began trying to force some sense of purpose into his voice. His only son and heir was dead. The realization had struck him like a solid blow to the gut and he had not, would probably never, recover from the pain. "I would like you to come with me."
"I can't."
"Victoria," Alejandro sat next to her on the bed and when she didn't look up from her book, he gently removed it from her hands.
She didn't look at him and he took her hands in his own. "Victoria. Have you read the rest of your letter?"
She didn't answer.
"Well, I'll tell you, in part, what mine said." He shifted closer and gathered her into his arms, relieved when she didn't try to pull away.
"Diego wanted you to be his wife. And if he . . . died before he could formally declare this before the padre and the pueblo, he wanted you to be provided for. To be treated as a member of this family." Alejandro waited for his words to sink in before continuing. "I need to consult legal counsel and I would like you to accompany me so that you can sign any papers that may be drawn up to facilitate his last wishes."
"No." Tears crept slowly down her cheeks again and she glanced down as the jewel in the antique ring she wore caught the light. In her distress, she had tried to return the ring Zorro—Diego, she told herself, remembering his declaration that it was the man behind the mask who had asked for her hand—had given her as a promise of marriage...but Alejandro would not take it. Instead, he insisted she wear it.
Victoria couldn't look at it without it reminding her that she had been the cause of his son's death but she didn't have the heart to cause him more pain. And not wearing the ring would have done just that.
"Victoria, please," Alejandro implored, drawing her gaze to his. "I need to get away from here and so do you. We need-"
"I don't want to leave this room," Victoria said quietly, eyes falling to the books lying on the bedside table. "I feel close to him here."
Alejandro closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "This entire hacienda is filled with reminders of my son, Victoria. I thought I knew Diego. But in the last two days, I find that I did not know him at all. He kept a secret from me. A secret that I had a right to know."
"We had a right to know," Victoria added with a sob.
"Yes," Alejandro corrected immediately. "We had a right to know that the man we loved hid his true self as completely as Zorro hid his identity."
"I will never forgive myself," Victoria whispered.
"He made his choice to live this double life." Alejandro took a deep breath. "And whether we agree with that decision or not, we, I, must honor his final wishes."
"I didn't deserve him." Victoria whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. "And I don't deserve your kindness."
"You deserve everything he could give you in life and death, Victoria." Alejandro lifted her chin with a trembling finger. "And it is within my power to abide by his request."
Victoria swallowed hard and said so low he almost missed it, "I will go with you."
Alejandro nodded and went to take care of the arrangements, leaving her alone with her books.
"Felipe, I don't want de Soto snooping around while we're gone." Alejandro walked into the barn where they'd been keeping Toronado. "I know he's been looking. He even stopped here one evening." Alejandro didn't mention that he knew that Felipe had taken the horse – presumably to go look for his son. "You can ride this splendid stallion to Santa Barbara while Victoria and I take the cart."
Felipe stared in disbelief at Alejandro.
"You can ride him, can't you?"
Felipe nodded. He hadn't revealed to Alejandro yet that he'd been out every evening for the last month searching for a sign of his son. Toronado had been able to take him back to the site of Zorro's fall. But the water at the base of the ravine had been moving so swiftly, it wouldn't have taken long for the body to be swept into the ocean, provided no coyotes or good samaritans hadn't gotten hold of it first.
"I think we've disguised him well enough that he won't be recognized." Alejandro rubbed the animal's neck, smiling sadly at the white forelock, gray-streaked mane and patches of white that now graced the stallion's strong legs.
"We'll be ready to go in a few hours." Alejandro added, leaving Felipe to take care of Toronado. "I have a few errands in the pueblo to run, to make sure the caballeros are willing to stand up to the alcalde in my absence."
Felipe signed a question.
"Yes, seeing de Soto's deplorable behavior where Zorro is concerned and taunting Victoria the way he has, a few more have stepped up and started opposing him." Alejandro smiled grimly. "Soon, the alcalde will realize that the caballeros are a collective force to be reckoned with. It's time we stood up for what we know is right." Alejandro sighed and glanced at the ground. "Something we should have done a long time ago. If we had, my son would still be alive."