Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 53
Disclaimers: I don't own any of these JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to Four Percent Solution. Any spoiler may be loosely referred to.
1600
January 17
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm walked down the hallway toward Mac's office on the third floor. He could see her standing in front of her desk talking on the phone. He hoped she was ready to finish up for the day. He had been able to secure early. Mac walked around her desk, listening intently to whomever she was speaking with. Harm hoped that whoever it was wouldn't make her day longer today.
Mac turned to face her doorway and saw Harm coming toward her. She had a stunned expression on her face.
Harm felt his heart squeeze in his chest. 'Oh God, don't let it be bad news. She can't be getting sicker,' he thought.
Mac plopped down into her chair as though her legs had given way. She leaned forward over her desk and put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from Harm.
His steps quickened, and he walked into her office and closed the door behind him. He stood behind the chair, leaning forward and bracing his hands on the back of it. She was still listening to the caller.
"Yes….I'll be there Wednesday …can we make it late in the day? Yes…I'll bring my husband." She looked at Harm and he nodded, agreeing to the approximate time of day. Mac ended her call.
"Tell me," he said, bracing himself for the worst.
She drew a deep breath. "I'm pregnant, Harm."
Harm blinked and stared at her as if he didn't understand. "Pregnant?"
"Yes." Mac was still stunned. She couldn't believe it.
"Are they sure?" His response was automatic. He wasn't even sure what he was saying.
"They're sure."
Harm kept his hold on the chair. Captain Morrison's words of warning came to him as clearly as if he were in the room with them. 'A pregnancy could be attempted in as little as a year, but you should know this puts you at risk for reoccurrence.'
Mac knew what he was remembering. She remembered too, but she wanted this. It might have happened sooner than they planned, but she was going to take her chance. As stunned as she was by it all, she was certain of that.
"Thank God I waited until late today to call." This news was so stunning that she knew she wouldn't have been able to concentrate in court today.
"What about your other blood work?" The thought had just occurred to him.
"Its fine," Mac answered quickly. "Harm…. let's wait until we get home to talk about this."
She had managed to get through this illness without losing it at work. Feeling as though she wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry – and trying to anticipate Harm's reaction, all at once. Mac had also already begun to steel herself. No one would talk her out of having this child now.
Her tone had been sharp and Harm didn't understand until he saw the pleading look in her eyes. He understood that she was afraid she would get emotional here at work. Her professional bearing had always been so important to her. He understood how much that meant to her. He was grateful then, because it would help him keep it together too.
"Are you finished for the day, then?"
"Yeah, I was just getting ready to call you." She smiled weakly.
"I'll, uh…go close up my office and then I'll meet you downstairs…okay?" He tried to give her a reassuring look.
He stepped closer to Mac and brushed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"It's going to be okay, Mac." He began to back away toward the door. He needed to get her out of here…and quick.
Mac nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
2035
Monday evening
Harm and Mac's Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac sat on the sofa together. They had been quiet most of the evening, both lost in thought about what lay before them. Harm was seated in a corner of the sofa and sat with his legs on both sides of her. She was turned slightly, as he held her in his arms, almost protectively.
"Do they have any idea about how far along you are?"
"Not really. I suppose I'll need a sonogram to know for certain." She was suddenly so aware of her stomach. She placed her hand over it.
Harm's eyes followed her hand and his heart ached. He still felt the same as he had for some time. She looked at him, her eyes seeming to ask a question and he didn't know what to say. He wanted this child but he didn't want to lose Mac. Nothing was worth that to him. The thought of having to abort a child that came from their love pained him. They had both wanted this for so long. The other side of this argument was the sheer terror he felt when he thought of losing Mac. He remembered all too well when the possibility had been very real indeed. Since her recovery from her surgery they had been so happy, everything seemed possible.
"What are you thinking, Harm?"
Harm kissed her temple and the top of her head.
"I'm worrying, mostly, about what this means as far as your health is concerned." Harm traced her jaw line with his finger and turned her head to face him. "I can't lose you, Mac."
Mac saw the warring emotions playing across his face. She knew Harm wanted their children too, but she also knew he didn't want to risk anything where she was concerned.
"I'm not going anywhere." She hugged him close, tucking her head under his chin. "Do you think you'll be able to make it Wednesday? I have the appointment set up for 1630."
"Yeah, it should be fine. I don't have court that day. I'll talk to the general."
They were quiet for a time, and then Harm spoke up. "Mac, we're going to have to talk about this."
Mac raised her head to look at him. "I know, but I don't want to right now. I can't even think. I'm still so stunned. I would like to know what Captain Morrison says before we really get into this. He is going to coordinate with Dr Ahrens; hopefully he will be there too." She wanted to hide in the warm cocoon of his arms knowing his child was growing inside her. A feeling she thought she would never have, this was going to happen, she and Harm were going to have a baby.
Harm kept what he was feeling to himself, for now. Deep down he believed she was running from the issue as she had nearly always done this in the past in any personal matter. He would give her time – hell, he needed it himself – but this was definitely not going away.
They went to bed and they slipped into their now comfortable spooning position. Harm held her carefully, as he had done just before and just after her surgery.
"I'm not going to break, you know." He was being so sweet.
"I know" He had been careful not to touch her stomach.
"I'm the same woman you made love to nearly all of last weekend, Harm…..and you weren't too careful then…..were you?" she teased him.
She wanted to lighten the mood; she was so sick of fear and grief. It might have seemed out of place, but she just didn't want to lose the part of them that could still laugh in the face of anything. She turned in his arms and lay on her stomach. Harm was giving her a sad smile.
"Do you remember when you told me that we could handle anything, if we did it together?"
Harm nodded and swallowed hard. She had hope in her eyes, and love. He was going to have to bury his fears for now. She needed him and he would wait. The time to discuss this would come after they had their appointment Wednesday.
1000
Wednesday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Commander Faith Coleman and Major Mike McBurney sat across from each other at the conference room table. It was pretty clear that this was going to go to trial. The commander's client had refused any type of deal.
"Your client is late." McBurney glanced up at her from the file he held in front of him.
Faith pushed her chair back and stood. "I'm aware of that, Major." She stepped away from her chair to walk toward the opposite end of the conference room table. She could usually defend a client with detached efficiency, but this one was already becoming difficult. Something about this man grated on her nerves like no client ever had. He was guilty and she knew it. She had defended clients who were guilty before, but the callousness and carelessness with which Chief Thompson conducted himself almost made her wish to lose. A feeling she had never had in her entire career.
"I had an interview this morning with Petty Officer White's father."
"You usually don't go for the emotional appeal, Major." She thought it might work, though; that was why her client would not be put on the stand. If he was able to put her off immediately she didn't even want to think about what he would do to the members.
"He asked to see me." It still pained him to think of the meeting.
"I see." She turned and looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He did not. The major was looking at his file but she did not think he was reading it. He looked up at her and looked away. "Major?"
"I never thought of myself as the type to go for the emotional appeal either. There are plenty of facts to convict your client, Commander. However, you should know that I will have the victim's father on the witness list. He deserves to be heard."
The interview had been one of the toughest he had ever had. Retired Master Chief White was a bear of a man. His son had followed his example and planned a career in the Navy. He had wanted to serve in his father's rate, but boiler technicians were being phased out. Though the master chief did not say it, he seemed to be bearing a great deal of guilt. He had not been emotional when he spoke but the pain in the room had been palpable. He'd told Major McBurney about the fact that he had served aboard the Coral Sea and that his son had been on a tiger cruise aboard her as a boy. His son had opted for the machinist mate rate, because it was the closest thing to his old rate.
Gunny knocked and then opened the conference room door, pulling the major from his thoughts.
"Sir, ma'am, Chief Thompson is here for your meeting." The chief stepped in behind him, and both men came to attention.
"At ease." Commander Coleman turned toward them.
"Sorry I'm late, ma'am. I couldn't find a parking place." The chief's excuse seemed half-hearted.
"You're dismissed, Gunny. Sit down, Chief." McBurney already disliked this man. He hadn't been in the same room with him for five minutes and he had already seen him lie, he was sure of it. After he sat down, McBurney looked at him. "It is my understanding that you want to take this to trial. It is my duty to inform you that the charges will be dereliction of duty and involuntary manslaughter."
"Involuntary manslaughter?" The master chief spoke loudly, disbelieving.
"Chief." The commander spoke up to quiet her client.
"What is this? You're my attorney. How can they charge me with that?"
"If you will be quiet, the charges will be explained to you." The commander calmly looked at him. No one looking at her would have known how much she disliked this man.
The major explained the charges and the commander asked the chief if he wished to go to trial.
"You better believe I do. I'm not going down alone. This whole system sucks and I'm not taking all the blame."
McBurney looked at the man. He hadn't once mentioned the young man who died. He showed no remorse and appeared to feel no responsibility for the incident at all.
"This damn drawdown, combining rates – how can I be qualified to stand a watch like that when there are only a couple ships in the whole damn Navy that are even powered with boilers?"
"That is enough, Chief. We will give our arguments in court." Coleman spoke firmly.
The chief looked at her, almost sneering. He was looking as though he were trying to decide whether he should continue or not. McBurney waited. Oh yeah, he was going to enjoy nailing this guy.
"We will continue this conversation in my office." Coleman looked at him sharply.
McBurney stood "See you in court, Commander." This case was his. He already knew it.
1545
Major McBurney's office
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Lieutenant Commander Coleman knocked on the frame of the open door.
"Enter." Major McBurney looked up and willed himself not to smile at her. Ever since their conversation right before the New Year, he had this uncontrollable urge to make her as uncomfortable as she had made him.
"Well, if it isn't Commander Faith Coleman, as I live and breathe."
She decided to ignore him and get down to business. If she engaged in any sort of a response this could go on all afternoon.
"I want to discuss Lieutenant Vukovic, Major. I understand that he will be assisting you with the case." A new JAG attorney, Lieutenant Greg Vukovic, had joined their team right after the New Year.
Major McBurney leaned forward across his desk. "That is correct, Commander." He couldn't help it; he had to smile at her. He knew he was making it difficult for her to say what ever she had come to tell him.
"I understand that he is a very aggressive investigator and litigator. I am also under the impression that he doesn't like to lose." She folded her arms and leaned on the door frame, her expression unreadable.
'What the hell was that supposed to mean?' His humor left him immediately.
"And you're telling me this because?..."
"Scuttlebutt is that…"
McBurney was incredulous. "Where would you hear scuttlebutt?"
He was still smarting from what he thought was her insinuation that he wasn't winning his cases. He sat back in his chair and glared at her.
Faith waited for him to finish .His reaction surprised her, but she quickly composed herself. She considered turning around and leaving; she had meant well, she had only meant to warn him. She looked down and then out the window of his office. She looked at him directly as she spoke.
"I merely came to warn you that the…word…is that he has a tendency to cut corners, to win at any cost. I know you have high standards as an attorney. I didn't think you would appreciate anyone who would compromise that." She turned and walked away.
Mike was on his feet and around his desk in a flash. He leaned out of his door. "Commander Coleman?"
She stopped and turned to look at him, her face blank and devoid of any emotion. "Yes?"
"Thank you"
Damn, he had really put his foot in his mouth with that one. If he hadn't been working with her these past months he wouldn't have seen that his cutting remark had hurt her. This was the first time she had made a remotely friendly gesture. He didn't think she had given him a second thought, much less considered what he believed as an attorney. She had never been anything but distant, engaged only on a professional level, with nothing personal in between. He felt like a jerk.
She nodded, her expression unchanging, and walked back to her office.
Mike walked back into his office. 'Nice one, McBurney,' he thought and closed his door behind him….a little too loudly.
1700
Wednesday
Captain Morrison's office
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Captain Morrison sat behind his desk. Harm and Mac sat in chairs in front of it. Dr. Ahrens stood leaning on a counter on the far side of the room.
"So what does this all mean?" Harm wanted to cut to the chase. They had been talking for about a half an hour. Dr. Ahrens appeared to show no concern about this turn of events. He seemed to feel that there was every possibility that Mac would have a normal pregnancy. Captain Morrison was, as he had always been, cautious and completely unreadable. It was infuriating sometimes. Neither man wanted to say anything with any certainty.
The captain spoke again. "This means that if your wife decides to continue with this pregnancy, in my opinion, she is at greater risk. She will be monitored more closely by this office. To put it plainly, we will hope for the best and prepare for the worst."
Harm turned toward Dr. Ahrens. "I believe that with the removal of the tumor and in light of her most recent blood work your wife should have a normal pregnancy…."
The doctors had been addressing Mac most of the time. Harm thought that if he tried to get them to clarify that the picture would be clearer to him, but it was not. It was as though they were being given a choice as to whom to believe. It would be great if the stakes weren't so high. He could just lose his wife….his life….that was all. He looked at Mac, trying to keep the fear out of his eyes. She reached for his hand – she had seen it.
"You two have some decisions to make." The captain started to rise, signaling the end of the appointment.
Mac looked at him. "The decision has been made, Captain."
The captain looked back her and at Harm, who obviously had not been expecting her to answer so quickly.
"Colonel?"
"When we discussed the possibility of my being pregnant on Friday, I said that there would be no termination." Mac was firm.
Harm went completely silent.
The air was suddenly thick with tension. The captain and Dr. Ahrens gave each other a knowing look.
"Very well, Colonel. I will follow up with Commander Fletcher after you have seen her. I will keep Dr. Ahrens apprised of any changes."
"I would like to continue to do our own testing with regard to your blood work, as we did when you were hospitalized." Dr. Ahrens looked from the captain to Mac.
The captain looked to Mac. "That's fine with me, sir."
She watched as Harm shook hands with the captain and noticed for the first time the look on his face. He was pleasant and professional, but a look she had not seen in months was evident to her, though he was concealing it well. He was angry….really angry.
They walked out of the building and into the parking lot in silence. Harm unlocked the door for them both and they got into the vehicle. He started the vehicle but the silence continued.
"Harm?"
He turned to look at her. "You knew about this Friday, and you didn't tell me?" He couldn't believe that she would keep something this important from him.
"Captain Morrison ordered the test as an afterthought. We were talking about how well I was doing and he asked if I had any concerns. I mentioned that I hadn't resumed my normal menstrual cycle. I didn't think there was a possibility that I was pregnant. I thought of the test as a precaution."
"Why didn't t you tell me, Mac?" His voice was beginning to get an edge to it.
His tone of voice was beginning to make her angry. She didn't like being called on the carpet for something she didn't do. He acted as though she were trying to deceive him when her goal had been not to worry him unnecessarily. She crossed her arms and looked at him pointedly. "I didn't want to worry you about something that might not even be true…."
"I'm your husband, Mac; I think I should be able to decide something like that myself."
"Harm I know this is a shock to you, it is to me too…."
Harm snorted. "Yeah, just a bit, and embarrassing as hell that I didn't even know what you had discussed with Captain Morrison. He could tell that I didn't know. I saw it on his face."
"I can't believe you're reacting this way. I didn't plan this, Harm. We did all the right things. We were careful. We used birth control and I got pregnant anyway. I'm having this baby – no one is going to talk me out of it, not you…not Captain Morrison…no one. This may be my only chance."
Harm's eyes blazed with anger. "It could also kill you, Mac." His voice was rising and bouncing off of the windows of the car.
"I love my life, Harm. I want to live a long time. I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I want to risk this. I have only known about this for two days, but it is almost as though I already know this baby. I want to see its face…."
Mac couldn't continue. This seemed so unreal. They had barely argued since they had gotten together last October.
Harm shook his head. "Who is running on emotion now? I can't believe you're risking something like this and you didn't even give me a chance to discuss this with you. You gave the captain your decision without a thought about my feelings on the matter."
"Do you want me to terminate this pregnancy, Harm?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I didn't say that." He didn't know what he wanted.
He felt as though she had left him completely out of the decision. He noticed that she was trembling as she tucked a stray hair back from her face. He needed to get this "discussion" back under control. She was a lot more upset than he had realized. This was not over, but he couldn't stand to see the effect it was having on her now.
"Don't misunderstand me. I just wanted to be let in on this. You're my wife." He reached for her hand and she stiffened in her seat, closing her hand into a fist.
"Let's finish this at home." He put the vehicle into gear and drove out of the parking lot.
As they drove back toward the apartment, Mac tried to get her thoughts and feelings under control. She had not seen Harm this angry in a long time, not at her. She understood in a way; she had known for sometime how he felt about her having a baby. She knew he didn't want her to risk it, even next year. She'd thought that he would have a year to see how well she was doing. By that time she thought he would be as convinced as she was that she was going to be fine. After a few moments, she looked at him. He returned her look, and something in his eyes tugged at her heart. She knew that he loved her and this was all about his fear of losing her. He returned his attention to the road a few seconds later.
"I shouldn't have lost my temper like that." He reached for her hand, and she took his and placed her other atop them both.
"I should have told you sooner. I should have discussed this with you before answering Captain Morrison."
Tears ran down her face unheeded and she felt a relief she could not explain...then all of a sudden she began to cry hard, in deep wracking sobs.
"Mac…honey, I'm sorry." Harm felt so bad for making her feel this way.
She shook her head. Their argument was not what was making her cry, although his tenderness and his willingness to meet her halfway seemed to be the first brick out of the dam. When she spoke her admission of wrong in the argument, the unfairness of the situation struck her. The joy of being pregnant with the child of the man she loved and the fear of losing her life in the process. This made the dam burst and she couldn't hold back any more. She had been holding everything in since she found out Monday. She could no more stop this than stop breathing.
"It's not all your fault, Harm. I think I'm still overwhelmed by it all." She turned her head to look out the window of the vehicle. "Give me a few minutes to get myself under control."
Harm took her hand and raised it to his lips. "Take all the time you need."
He still felt so strongly that he didn't want her to risk her life. He knew it seemed selfish, but he loved her so much. He had waited so long to have a life with her.
The frustrating thing was that it was already out of his hands.
1120
Thursday
January 18
Matkabah al Ansir bookshop
Birmingham, England
Aziz Nasiri walked into the small bookshop and appeared to be browsing a row of shelves. They held CDs that were purported to have been the last will and testaments of the men who had struck a blow at the heart of the great Satan. How he wished he had been able to carry out his plan. November 24 had been the day he would fulfill his destiny, but it was not to be.
MI-5 had not been able to specifically expose his plan, but they had been sure that a tour group of American college students would not be in Trafalgar Square that day, as had been planned. There were tourists in the area at the time, but there had been only one person killed, an American woman. Still, his mentor Asa al Hundu had reassured him there would be other opportunities.
He walked further down the aisle in the bookshop. He loved being surrounded by the holy writings and interpretations of the Koran, books filled with truth and instruction in the war against those who corrupted the world with their belief in their false god and the son of Mary.
A man dressed in business attire sat at a table nearby. He was sipping espresso and reading a pamphlet written by the late Sheik Abdullah Azzan. He had been observing Nasiri since he walked into the bookshop, all the while appearing to be totally absorbed in the reading material before him. The man blended seamlessly into his surroundings. He stood and walked to the shelf holding the pamphlets, giving him a view of the aisle which Nasiri occupied. At the end of the hall a door opened. Nasiri looked toward the door and was greeted. He immediately walked to the door and it closed behind him.
The cautious observer lingered in the aisle for quite a time. He read other writings with what appeared to be great interest, and then walked casually from the bookshop. He walked toward the bus stop and took his cell phone from his pocket. He spoke in his native Farsi about the cousin he was able to see today and he also spoke of seeing another person. He thought this person was out of the country but he had contacted him and met with his cousin as well.
Blaisdell sat in his office in front of his computer screen. His caller's voice was audible from the speaker attached to his computer. His message was being translated as he spoke and printed onto his computer screen. Jack stood behind Blaisdell, reading the message, not yet understanding what he was reading.
"Cousin?" Jack wondered aloud.
"It is a way of speaking. When my caller speaks of his cousin, he is in fact telling me about Ginny Baker's cousin Aziz Nasiri. I'm still trying to figure out who this other person is." An artist who did some great preliminary sketches about three and a half years ago…. for his family portrait. Blaisdell considered the possibilities. The sketches had to be photographs, the word 'preliminary' seemed to stick in his mind. Realization dawned on him….wow. They knew he was still in Britain. MI-5 swore he wasn't. A man believed to be deeply involved in the preparation of the 9/11 attacks was right there under their noses.
"Look, I need to finish this up in private." Asa al Hundu was still in Britain.
"Come on, Blaisdell, I thought you wanted to help us with this."
Jack hated being out of the loop, but he also knew it was better than being involved up to your neck with these people. It could cost you your life.
"Look, Jack, I agreed to help because I don't want to see our mutual friend get involved in Company business. I have a duty not to involve you in other matters that don't concern you. You know the drill. I'm sticking my neck out as it is."
Jack did understand. They had been able to find out that Nasiri had been involved in the bombing but not who had sent him. He also knew that Blaisdell wanted to follow Nasiri to his source in hopes of catching a much bigger target. He believed he saw Harm as a friend but he also knew that he wasn't doing this out of the goodness of his heart. No Company man did that. Jack turned and walked toward the door.
"I'll be in touch Jack. Give me 48 hours." He looked at him over his glasses as he was reaching for his phone.
2230
Wednesday
Harm and Mac's Apartment
North of Union Station
Mac lay on her stomach, watching her husband sleep. He had not been asleep for very long. He seemed to be dreaming. The peaceful look he usually wore was not there tonight. His brow was slightly furrowed. Mac felt a pang of guilt. He was worrying about her, even in his sleep. When they had come home, they hadn't eaten any dinner. As soon as she'd closed the apartment door behind them, Harm had pulled her into his arms. She reached for the light switch on the wall but he had stopped her.
She started to speak but he had silenced her with his deep and soul-stirring kisses. He said only that he needed her. She loved him and he had loved her for hours until he had fallen asleep. As close as she felt to him now, she felt him holding himself back. Whether it was from her or from the baby, she could not tell. She had been unable to sleep, her mind still reeling with the events of the day. She still felt as strongly as she had before about the baby. She was sure he had not changed his feelings either.
'Oh God, don't let this come between us, and please give us this one chance to have our family,' she prayed. The prayer was simple but heartfelt. Mrs. Rabb had told her once that God wasn't interested in eloquence but in truth. Her prayer had been her truest and dearest wish.
Chapter 54
Disclaimers: I don't own any of these JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
0900
Thursday
January 20th
JAG headquarters
Fall Church, Virginia
Harm was walking toward the conference room doors immediately after staff call when the general stopped him.
"Commander Rabb."
"Yes, sir?" He turned to face him.
"Wait a moment. The Gunny will be joining us in a few minutes. We have a case to discuss."
Gunny Galindez walked into the conference room and came to attention.
"At ease." The general sat down at the head of the conference table. "Sit down, gentlemen."
Gunny and Harm sat on each side of their commanding officer.
"I have an assignment for both of you. Gunny, do you have your sea bag packed?"
"Yes sir" Gunny did not smile but he began to get a gleam in his eye.
"I suppose you will need time to go home and pack won't you, Rabb?"
"No sir, I keep a sea bag packed and in my vehicle," Harm answered quickly.
"That's right, you are married to a Marine, aren't you?" The general looked at him pointedly, waiting for his reaction. His expression was, once again, hard to read.
Harm looked at him and drew a breath, not sure whether he should smile or not. "Yes sir, but I..."
"I was joking, Commander," The general shook his head slightly. The commander definitely needed to lighten up.
Gunny watched with hidden amusement. It was always fun to watch General Creswell dangle the commander out on that limb.
"You and the Gunny will be leaving Andrews this afternoon at 1400. You will be TAD to the 42nd MEU 5th Marines. They need our assistance helping the Iraqi military set up their own UCMJ. Some of the Iraqis who turned during the battle for Fallujah are being held and the JAGs in country need our help in educating the Iraqis in proper military jurisprudence. As you are aware, Commander, we and the new Iraqi military are under a great deal of scrutiny by every press in the world. We have to help assure the world that the military we help to train treats its personnel justly, even its deserters."
"Yes, sir."
"Any questions?" The general looked from Harm to Gunny.
"Any indication about how long we will be needed, General?" Harm had already begun to think about how he and Mac would handle this.
"I would expect to be away at least a month, perhaps two. It will depend on how the elections go next week. The JAGs on the ground are perfectly capable of running this once we get the initial framework set up. I wanted someone from this office as a close advisor/observer so that I am more able to assess what is working and what is not."
Harm thought this could not have come at a worse time. He and Mac hadn't really had a chance to talk since yesterday. He was looking forward to their visit to Belleville next week. He thought it would be a good time for them to step back from all this and talk. The farm had become a place where they could do that. He gave no outward indication of this, however. General Creswell always seemed to Harm to be waiting for him to act or react the wrong way.
"Yes, sir."
"Gunny, I want you to assist the commander in his observation and training of the Iraqis.
Besides, the commander will need a good Marine to watch his back." The general smiled wryly.
Gunny lit up like a Christmas tree. He hadn't thought he would be back in the thick of it this soon.
"Are you ready for that, Marine?"
"Yes sir." Gunny had been sure that his knee injury and surgery was not apparent to anyone. No one looking at him would ever have known he had his knee replaced last year.
'If there are no other questions, you will pick up your travel itinerary form Petty Officer Coates. Commander, I will expect a preliminary report within 48 hours of your arrival."
"Yes, sir."
"You are dismissed."
Gunny and Harm walked out of the conference room and toward Jennifer's desk. Harm's mind was reeling. He was trying to figure out how he was going to get a chance to see Mac before he had to leave. He looked slightly dazed when he heard Jen speaking to him.
"Sir?" Jen smiled at him knowingly. "I have taken the liberty of getting a note to Colonel Rabb regarding your scheduled departure. She will meet you at 1130 in your office. Your schedule is clear after 1100, sir."
Harm gave her a grateful look. "Still saving my life, aren't you, Coates?"
"Hey, it's what I do." She shrugged. She gave Gunny his itinerary as Harm turned to walk toward his desk. "Nothing to arrange for you, Gunny?"
"Nope, I'm a free man, so… how about lunch before I get out of here?" He looked at her with a sly grin.
Coates was surprised, but pleasantly so, and accepted his invitation. Harm looked quickly over his shoulder when he heard Gunny's invitation. He kept walking and looked again toward his office, raising his brows in surprise.
1115
Thursday
Harm's Office
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac stepped up to the open door and knocked on its frame. "Hey, Sailor."
Harm looked up from his computer screen. "Hey, come in and close the hatch."
He stood and walked toward her, reaching behind her to close the blinds. He looked deeply into her eyes, just inches from her face. He was going to miss her so much.
"You're early," he breathed gently into her ear and kissed her cheek.
She looked up at him. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless. She knew this deployment would not be over in a couple of weeks.
"I wanted to get every minute." They stood facing each other just inches apart. "So where do you want to go?"
He reached to tuck a strand of hair back from her face. "Home." He looked almost wistful as he said it.
"I know."
"This couldn't have come at a worse time. We really didn't talk about yesterday at all." His expression changed to one of worry.
"I know but I think I do understand how you feel and why." She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it.
"General Creswell says it may be as long as two months." He reached up and touched her cheek. "Promise me something, Mac, please." He gazed intensely into her eyes. "If there are any changes in your condition or if you become compromised medically in any way, please talk to me – don't leave me out of any decision about this…pregnancy. Please don't choose the life of the baby over your own."
He looked down, afraid she would not understand. He knew it sounded callous and cold, but he had to make her understand how important this was to him. He looked again into her eyes and was relieved to see the understanding and compassion there.
"Harm, I'm going to be smart about this. I'll do everything the doctors tell me to do. I promise I'll never make another decision with out discussing it with you first. I am so sorry about yesterday; I honestly didn't think it through. I was still in shock about being pregnant in the first place."
She held his hand to her face and then turned her head and kissed his palm. "Forgive me?"
Harm nodded the affirmative. He couldn't have spoken just then, the lump in his throat made it impossible. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he gathered her into his arms. Protocol forbade them to embrace when they were both in uniform but the moment was too special to pass. He buried his face in her neck and drank in her scent.
"Mac…"
She did not resist him. The door was closed and so were the blinds. She would risk this for him. There were times when she loved the part of him that had no words. In the past it would infuriate her; she wanted to shake him at times. Today his touch and the look in his eyes spoke everything she needed to know. She ran her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. He drew back and kissed her deeply. His kisses never failed to weaken her knees and spin her off into oblivion. After a long moment she did pull herself back from him.
"Hey, flyboy, we better go to lunch, or kissing you while I'm in uniform will be the least of my worries."
They both laughed, breaking the tension and lightening both of their moods considerably.
They both took a moment to compose themselves. Harm stepped around his desk to turn off his computer. He got his cover and Mac followed him out of his office. They seemed to be floating along in a bubble. They were the only two people in the world at that moment. Their love seemed to be a tangible thing, something anyone in the room could feel when they were in it together. They were lucky that General Creswell was out of the building but their state of happiness was not lost on one particular observer in the bullpen.
"If someone had told me last January that those two would be married, I'd have told them they were crazy…" Petty Officer Coates stood leaning against a desk in the bullpen, speaking to anyone who was listening. She looked at the person to whom she was speaking. "Ma'am, excuse me, Ma'am."
Lieutenant Commander Faith Coleman looked at her sharply. "Carry on, Petty Officer."
She and Jennifer had both felt that small pang of envy and longing when they saw what their superior officers apparently felt for each other. Jennifer quickly made her way back to her office, and as she reached her desk, Gunny appeared in her doorway.
"Are you ready, Jen?" he said in a hushed voice.
Jen was still a little rattled from speaking out of turn to Commander Coleman. She startled at the sound of his voice.
Gunny waited; there had to be a story here. Jen wasn't rattled this easily. "What did you do, Coates?" He walked a bit further into her office, watching her with an amused grin on his face.
"Nothing." She grabbed her cover and coat and he followed her out to the elevators.
Commander Coleman had returned to her office, but she could see Petty Officer Coates and the Gunny leaving. 'What's this?' she thought. She turned her chair toward her window. Every one seemed to be pairing off today. This was ridiculous; she had never given this any thought before at all. Lately it had begun to irritate her for some unknown reason. She was lonely but she knew she didn't want anyone close and she didn't even think she knew how to socialize anymore. She wondered when this had begun to bother her.
She turned toward her computer and clicked the mouse on the file containing her notes for court on Monday. Her eyes came to rest on the name of the prosecutor in the case: Major Michael McBurney. She remembered then when it was. It was when the major and his sister had brought her the Christmas cookies on Christmas day. It had been kind of him, even though she knew she had made him uncomfortable. His sister Kim clearly adored him The sound of laughter from the car waiting downstairs, packed with his mother and sisters… Though she had never spoken with them, she knew from the way they laughingly teased him that Michael was much loved by his family.
She shook her head slightly to clear it. She needed to get her mind on the case at hand.
2235 Eastern time
Thursday evening
Somewhere over the North Atlantic
Harm was leaning back in his seat, resting his eyes for a moment. He had been doing some case review that the general had sent along with him. Military justice in an 'eye for an eye' land. Culturally the task seemed insurmountable. He missed Mac's strength in this area of the world, her language skills and her sense of what the mores of the society were. He missed her already in other ways too.
They had hashed everything out over lunch today. He didn't like the idea of her being alone in the apartment. Mac stood her ground on that one. She would be fine, he was told not to worry….. Fat chance. She would still be going to Belleville next weekend with Mattie, weather permitting. He was glad she was going; she seemed to gain strength from her time there and her friendship with his grandmother. Mattie was a shot in the arm for anyone. She seemed to have the same talent his grandmother had in drawing people out and making them laugh at themselves.
"Commander?" Gunny noticed then that Harm had his head back and eyes closed. "Oh…Sorry."
Harm raised his head and looked across the aisle at Gunny. "It's okay – I wasn't sleeping, Gunny. It may not be a bad idea, though."
"Nah, I don't think I can right now."
"Are you really that glad to be going back?" There was no mistaking Gunny's feelings on the matter.
"It's not about being glad to be in country or at war. It is more like being were I belong."
Harm nodded his understanding.
"I'm a Marine, sir; I have been most of my adult life. I know how to do this, as unpleasant as it is. I think because I'm an American Marine I can do it better than anyone else."
Harm raised his brows, smiling just a bit. "Confidence is important, Gunny, but I wouldn't share that sentiment with anyone once we land."
"Understood, sir." Gunny turned his head and looked out of the window of the plane.
"So…uh...how is Coates settling in at her new place?" He had been wondering about those two for some time, but the opportunity learn anything about it hadn't presented itself.
Gunny looked at him quickly, apparently surprised at the question. "Oh...uh, she's doing okay with it. She is sharing an apartment with an old shipmate from the Gainesville."
"The Gainesville? I didn't know she maintained any friendships with anyone from that duty station. I didn't think that was a very good experience for her." Harm was slightly worried, his brow knitted slightly.
It still made Gunny a bit uncomfortable that the commander knew Jen so well. He and Jen were still only friends, but he wanted to be the one who knew her best. "She made a few 'good' friends, sir, some of which were hoping she would turn her life around." Gunny smiled tightly.
"And she has." Harm was proud of Jen. She wasn't quite a daughter to him, but he felt a familial connection to her. It wasn't sisterly either...he didn't quite know what to call it.
Gunny narrowed his eyes slightly. "Yes sir, she has," he said, his smile still in place.
Harm had begun to get the feeling that Gunny didn't like the familiarity between the two of them. He hadn't realized he was so territorial about her.
"So...are you seeing Jennifer now, Gunny?" Harm wasn't going to back off. He and Coates may have been friends but they were not inappropriately so. He still felt a responsibility for her.
"We're good friends, sir." He wasn't going to say more. There wasn't much to tell. It was more than friendship, but he wouldn't tell people they were dating either. Why was the commander asking, anyway?
"Look Gunny, I'm not trying to pry. I don't want details. I was just wondering. Jen is a great person. She has been a good friend to me. I care about what happens to her."
"I do, too." He looked at Harm directly.
Harm got the answer he wanted and he had the feeling that this was where the conversation should stop.
"We've got our work cut out for us; this is going to be no easy task. Get some sleep if you can."
He was beginning to get that sense of walking an international political tightrope again. Harm smiled without humor and thought, 'Nothing like doing a highly sensitive job under a magnifying glass.' Harm returned his attention to his case file. They would be landing in Germany soon.
1430
Monday
January 24
JAG headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Major Mike McBurney stood in front of the bench and walked toward the members as he spoke.
"The government will prove that on the night of January 9th, aboard the USS Coral Sea, Chief Kevin Thompson was derelict in his duty, resulting in the death of Petty Officer Third Class Thomas White…."
Mac watched Major McBurney finish up his opening statement. He definitely gave the impression that he thought he had this case won already. From where Mac sat she could assess the attorney's skills much better than when she was trying a case against them. 'Don't get too confident, Major,' she thought.
Mac observed Commander Coleman as she sat expressionless as the opposing attorney spoke. She never had shown any emotion in the courtroom at all, at least none that Mac had been able to see. It was a point that rattled the major at times, which she had also seen. They were both good attorneys, though the ways they approached their cases were completely opposite.
Faith Coleman sat listening to the major's opening statement. She was beginning to read him well. He really thought he had this case won. Had she been that apparent in her feelings about him? She truly disliked her client, but she thought she had been able to hide it well. The chief sat in the chair next to her, uncomfortably shifting in his seat. She turned and looked at him sharply, and the chief stilled himself almost immediately. She held his gaze for a moment. The arrogant sneer was nowhere in sight today. She returned her attention toward the major and saw that the members had noticed this exchange. 'Wonderful,' she thought sarcastically.
Mac had continued to listen and quietly observed the new attorney sitting second chair for the major. Lieutenant Greg Vulkovic sat listening to the opening statements. Mac had heard the scuttlebutt about this new addition to JAG. She did not want to prejudge the man. It could be a matter of professional jealousy. She had seen enough of that in her career not to want to be a part of it.
Major McBurney walked back to his chair, passing Commander Coleman as she waited to begin her opening statements. He looked at her with a smug smile he was trying very hard to conceal. She read him immediately. 'Not so fast, Michael,' she thought to herself. She had begun calling him by his given name when she thought of him. She wasn't sure why. She knew he wanted to be her friend, she also knew she wasn't going to be able to do that just now…if ever. She began.
"The death of this young sailor was a terrible tragedy…the result of a series of events and miscommunications culminating into the accident which took his life….."
When the commander finished her opening statements they were adjourned for the day to resume at 0900 in the morning. Mac placed the gavel down on the bench and looked out into the courtroom as she turned to step down. Lieutenant Vulkovic watched as she descended the steps. Mac looked at him and he smiled and – what was that? He winked!
Mac continued to look at him, sure she had been wrong. He returned her look and a smile spread slowly across his face.
"Lieutenant Vulkovic, Major McBurney, May I see you in my chambers for a moment?"
They followed her into her chambers and came to attention. "Ma'am."
"At ease." She did not sit down but walked around the two officers. "Lieutenant, do you wear contacts?"
"No, ma'am." The lieutenant was trying to keep his expression neutral. He had gone too far, he knew now.
She stopped and stood in front of him. "Are you having any problems with your eyes at all?"
"No, ma'am."
"That's good to hear. I would suggest, however, should you have any more trouble with that 'twitch' in your eye, that you see a doctor. It may be misinterpreted by your fellow staff members. Am I being understood, Lieutenant?"
"Yes ma'am." The lieutenant swallowed hard.
"Major McBurney," Mac turned her attention toward him. "Since you are lead counsel, you may want to discuss this sudden problem the lieutenant seems to be having with his eyes. I wouldn't like to see it affect his performance in court."
"Yes, ma'am."
"You are dismissed."
Both officers came to attention. "Ma'am."
They left the room swiftly, closing the door behind them. Major McBurney continued and the lieutenant followed him into the bullpen. "My office, Lieutenant, now." McBurney blew past Commander Coleman, who was carrying a cup of coffee which she spilled on her uniform. Heedless, McBurney continued toward his office
McBurney shut the door behind him. "Snap to, Lieutenant."
The lieutenant did as he was told.
"What the hell were you doing out there?"
"Nothing, sir."
"Nothing?" McBurney was incredulous. "We get called into chambers by Colonel Rabb, who very diplomatically tells you that she understood that you winked at her after court adjourned today. Are you really that stupid?"
"No, sir."
"Look." He stood face to face with him. "I have argued quite a few cases before Colonel Rabb. There is no way she would have called us into her chambers if she had not believed your behavior was inappropriate."
"Sir, I…"
"Save it, Lieutenant. We have a case to argue, but understand this. If I see any similar behaviors from you in court or at JAG; I'll have you up on conduct unbecoming charges so fast it will make your head spin. You're lucky that she didn't have you hauled into General Creswell's office."
"Yes, sir."
"Dismissed."
The lieutenant left his office and the bullpen and headed down the hall to his office as quickly as he could.
The major started to close the door and noticed Commander Coleman brushing off her uniform.
"What happened to you?"
She looked at him blankly and then gave him a tight smile. She walked toward him. "I was unfortunate enough to be in the path of a Marine on a mission."
"Did I cause this?"
She looked at him, answering his question. She then walked into his office.
"I'm sorry." He gave her an apologetic look. "Let me at least get it dry cleaned for you." He leaned against the front of his desk.
"That won't be necessary, Major – it was an accident. Accidents happen." She stood just inside the doorway.
"Really, Commander, I'd feel better if you'd let me…Hey, you're not trying to argue your case again are you?"
She smiled genuinely. "I would never do that, Major."
"I know what I can do. Let me buy you dinner after we wrap up this case."
Faith was quiet and unreadable, but he found he was getting used to it.
"Just a friendly dinner, Commander….tell you what. Loser pays."
Faith was still considering but McBurney knew that she would. He was knocking down the wall she had built around herself brick by brick. It seemed to him she wanted at least friendship from him, and for reasons he would never be able to explain he wanted that too. She seemed to be a good person; she was a hell of an attorney…why not?
"Alright, it's a deal." She turned and walked out of his office.
He followed her, unable to resist a parting shot. McBurney was grinning at her from ear to ear. He had made her smile again…outside the courtroom no less. "It's been a while since a woman bought me dinner."
Faith turned quickly, arching a brow, and he retreated to his office before she changed her mind.
TBC