Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 58
Disclaimers: I don't own the JAG characters depicted in this story. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons, living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to 'The Sixth Juror' and any spoiler floating around out there is fair game.
A/N: This chapter is pretty Bud and Harriet heavy but for me it speaks to things I've always wanted to see dealt with for a long time(ah the beauty of fanfic)
2330
10 February
Roberts Residence
Alexandria, Virginia
Bud sat on the sofa in the den. He kept going over the conversation he'd had with his father the day before. He lost control of his temper so quickly lately. He hated that he had lost it in front of Little AJ.
"Bud?" Harriet stood in the doorway. "What are you doing still up?"
"I'm sorry, honey; I'm just trying to clear my head." Bud looked at her apologetically.
"It's your father, isn't it?" Harriet knew, Bud hadn't been this quiet in a long time.
"It is, but mostly it's me." Bud patted the couch beside him, inviting her to sit down.
Harriet sat beside him and took his hand waiting for him to speak.
"I can't believe how quickly I lost my temper yesterday. I scared Little AJ so badly he wouldn't even hug me this morning before I went to work." He looked at Harriet. "I never wanted to ever see that fear on his face."
"Bud, I think you're being too hard on yourself." She knew how much being a good father meant to Bud.
"I don't know, Harriet. I have been over it a thousand times in my mind … and do you know what the worst thing is? I sounded exactly like him. Even my voice was just like his was. He would back me or Mom into a corner, yelling, belittling us, throwing every curse he could think of at us. He didn't always hit us…the words could hurt as much as if he had."
"Bud, that isn't what you did yesterday." Harriet could not see the comparison at all.
"I think I need to talk to someone, Harriet." He wasn't sure how she would feel about it, but he was not going to let this get out of control. He had too much to lose.
"Do you want me to go with you?" She knew now that Bud was really troubled. He would never have considered counseling a couple of years ago.
"I don't think so. I think this is about me. I've always worried that my childhood would affect my family. I don't want to let it."
"Bud, what are you talking about? You're a wonderful husband and father."
Bud remembered talking to Harm just before he and Harriet were married. He'd told him about his fear of becoming what his father was. Harm had tried to reassure him but Bud had carried that fear throughout their marriage.
"Thank you, Harriet." Bud kissed her cheek. "I just don't ever want to let you down, and I think it's time I did something about this anger before it gets out of control."
Bud kissed her cheek. "I love you."
Harriet smiled at him. "I love you too."
1845
11 February
Friday
The Ship's Wheel
Norfolk, Virginia
Retired Master Chief Bud Roberts sat at a barstool nursing his first but not last beer of the evening. It had been a hell of a week. He was able to avoid being called up by the Navy to serve. ' Christ!... unbelievable,' he thought. He wouldn't be caught dead in fatigues or Cammies as they now called them. The medical review board Bud had been able to get to review his personnel file ruled that he was not fit for duty – a ruling that didn't bother him in the least. What he had been totally unprepared for was being thrown out of his son's house and forbidden to ever come near them again. He shook his head, wondering what the hell Bud's problem was anyway.
"Roberts?" Someone was calling from across the bar.
"Master Chief Roberts?" Big Bud lifted his head to look for the person calling him. He looked across the bar and then recognition dawned.
"Maguire? Well, I'll be damned. How are you doin'?" To Big Bud Roberts his old shipmates were family. He felt more at ease with them than he had ever felt with his sons or Angie. Well, maybe not in the beginning, but the longer he served, the more he felt the Navy was his family. He didn't allow himself to be close to anyone else; it hadn't been necessary, especially after Angie died.
Senior Chief Matt Maguire approached him and shook his hand. "I'm doing great. Just down here seeing a few old friends."
"How long has it been? Twenty years?" It had been a very long time. Angie was still… well, he wouldn't go there now. He hoped he wouldn't ask about her.
"What have you been doing since I saw you last? Keeping busy?"
His friend arched an eyebrow. He had known Big Bud well. To say he 'got around' was an understatement. Matt sure as hell couldn't keep up. His wife Katie would have killed him.
"You know me. I'm doing anything I can get by with." Big Bud laughed before taking a long pull on his beer.
The door to the bar opened letting in the traffic noise from the street. A woman stepped in the door and looked toward Big Bud and his friend.
"Bud? My God… is that you?"
"Katie…well, I will be damned. When are you going to get old, woman?"
A well preserved woman of nearly 50 years laughed and walked quickly to the bar where Big Bud and her husband Matt were talking. Big Bud swept her into a bear hug.
"I always said Matt had the best looking babe in the whole 101."
Matt and Big Bud had become friends in boot camp. Their company number was 101. Katie hadn't been able to get to their graduation so they'd called her that evening. They'd squeezed into a phone booth, drunk out of their skulls, both telling her in the most colorful language that she was 'the best looking babe in the whole 101' – though Big Bud had never seen her in his life at that point.
"Stop lying, you old silver-tongued devil!" She laughed. "I can't believe we ran into you like this."
Matt began to talk about what they were doing in town, but Big Bud was lost in thought, wondering what Angie would look like now. Seeing Katie and remembering their friendship took him back. It had been their first hitch and they were both stationed out of Norfolk. Bud was on the carrier USS America and Matt was on the destroyer USS John King. The girls had become good friends. Hell, he and Angie had driven Katie to the hospital when she went into labor with their oldest son. Matt's ship had been out and Bud had only been home a week.
"Bud?" Katie asked. "Are you all right?"
"Oh, hey, sorry…need another beer…not enough alcohol in my system." He laughed a bit too loud. "What can I get you, Katie? It's on me." He looked at her husband. "Matt?"
Matt looked at what he was drinking. "I'll have whatever you've got there."
"Nothing for me, thanks." Katie and Matt had heard about Angie. They'd been stationed in California at the time and had been unable to get back. They had sent flowers but somehow she doubted that Bud knew anything about that.
"How are the boys, Bud?"
"Fine, fine. They're both in the Navy. If you can believe that."
"Nothing wrong with following in the old man's footsteps." Matt had a son who was serving too.
"They're not really what you could call following –my- footsteps. Bud Jr is a JAG attorney, a lieutenant commander. Mikey is in his second year at Annapolis."
"Really?… Bud… that's great. You must be so proud."
Katie was stunned. She knew what kind of childhood those kids had. It hadn't started out badly, but by the time Bud got orders to Jacksonville and they had decided to get out for a couple of years, things had gotten pretty bad.
"Yeah…who would have thought it, huh?" Big Bud chuckled to himself. "It didn't have anything to do with me, Katie."
Katie looked down, not really sure what she should say. Her husband spoke up. "You gave them a tradition of service. That's something to be proud of."
"Nah, I think whatever they have, as far as the good things, Angie gave them. I just paid the bills." He gave Matt a sideways glance. "You know me, Matt."
Matt did know him; he also knew he wasn't always as he liked to describe himself now. He took out his wallet and opened it to show a picture of Bud Jr. and his family and also Mikey's Academy picture. He handed the wallet to Katie and Matt looked over her shoulder.
"Bud, they look great. I can't believe it. Little Bud has four children? His wife is beautiful."
Katie remembered how close Angie had been to Bud Jr. and how protective he'd been of her, even though he was just a little boy.
Bud nodded, unable to think of an appropriate response, especially in light of the fight he had with Bud earlier this week.
"Mikey is so handsome. He was so young, just a baby the last time we saw him. He's a grown man now." She shook her head. "He looks so much like Angie. She would have been so proud."
Big Bud was relieved that they already knew. He didn't want to explain. He was still raw from his argument with Bud. He could still hear him say "I will never understand why a selfish bastard like you is alive when a good person like my mother is dead." The words were still ringing in his ears.
Matt could see that Bud was getting more depressed by the minute and he also remembered this would usually precede a bar fight with anyone within reach. It was time to change the subject.
"Hey Bud, remember the time we decided to drag race down Hampton Boulevard? We both had those old '53 pick-ups. Damn, I still can't believe we didn't get arrested."
Bud laughed out loud. "Hah, we were drunk on our asses. I still can't figure out how I got those damn trash cans in the back of that pick-up."
"We could have been busted down to E1 if we had been caught. Man, someone up there was looking out for us that night."
Katie remembered that night too. "Yeah, right. I remember someone calling me to be sure his uniform was ready for captain's inspection the next morning. Bud was on leave, but you weren't. I still don't know how you got through that day. You were green to the gills."
Bud continued to laugh. He remembered seeing Angie and Katie standing in the yard, arms folded across their chests. They hadn't been nearly as mad as they seemed to be.
In that moment he wished to be young again; to have Angie with him again. Seeing Katie made him remember her more clearly. Tonight she hadn't faded into the haze of his dreams. The picture in his mind was clear suddenly and sharp as knife.
Matt decided it was time to go. They had promised to meet another couple out in Virginia Beach later. "Bud, we have to get going. We're meeting the Greggs at Darryl's. Do you want to join us? I don't know if you remember Lou – I think that was after I came back in."
Matt and Katie had gotten out for a few years, but civilian life just wasn't working for either of them so he'd reenlisted.
"No thanks, Matt. It was good to see you." Big Bud stood and shook his hand. "Katie."
Katie kissed his cheek and hugged him.
"Take care of yourself, Bud. I'm so glad we ran into you like this. We need to stay in touch. We share too many memories." She gave him a sad smile and took her husband's hand as they walk toward the door.
Big Bud watched them walk out. He was grateful they were leaving. He didn't think he could take much more of memory lane tonight.
He returned to his bar stool and ordered another beer. His mind returned to the argument he and Bud had. The one he never saw coming, but had been due for a long time….
Bud had handed him a large manila envelope. "The medical review board has approved your exemption from being recalled." Bud looked at his father, appearing to be waiting for something.
Big Bud took the envelope. "Dirty bastards, thought they could screw me." He turned to go to the door. He had been waiting for an hour for Bud to come home from work. He had called him and asked him to meet him at his house.
Bud was incredulous. "So that's it?"
Big Bud turned back to face him. "What?"
"I bust my ass to get you out of something that you probably could have done if you gave a damn about anyone but yourself. And your answer is….What?" Bud walked toward him, anger rising up in him so quickly he didn't even have time to rein it in this time.
Big Bud huffed. "What the hell is your problem? You're a lawyer; that's your job. Nobody forced you."
"Nobody forced me? You come into JAG and insult and irritate half of the people I work with. Embarrass me and pressure me minutes before I have to go into court. Nobody forced me? The hell you didn't."
Harriet was upstairs with the girls when she overheard Bud and his father talking. She was afraid this was coming. Bud had been more than a little on edge lately. It didn't help that every little thing that could go wrong did: running out of gas, locking his keys in the car, you name it. It also didn't help that he was still adjusting to the new CO. Harriet thought that he had been handling everything well up until the last week or so. She stepped out of the nursery and looked down into the foyer.
"What do you want from me anyway?" Big Bud was in no mood for this nonsense. "Blood?" He turned and walked to the door, then turned toward Bud intending to leave with a sharp retort. He didn't get the chance.
"I don't want a damn thing from you, you asshole. I will never understand why a selfish bastard like you is alive when a good person like my mother is dead. You never gave a damn about her or us. What did you get out of it all? You got two sons who have loved you and wanted your respect. What did she get?…..She's dead!"
Big Bud's arrogance seemed to seep out of him and into the floor. "It's not my fault she died, Bud." He looked as though someone had hit him.
Bud felt no guilt; he only wished he had. "No it's not your fault, Dad. You just made her life a living hell while she was alive. That was your fault." He continued to walk toward Big Bud. "Leave….and don't ever ask for anything from me again." He was trembling with anger.
Harriet was so stunned by what she was seeing and hearing that she did not see little AJ at first. He was standing in the doorway to the den, looking from his father to his grandfather. He didn't make a sound, but the confusion and fear on his face was plain to anyone who looked at him. Little AJ heard his mother gasp and looked up at her, and then he began to cry.
Big Bud opened the door and started out. Bud took the doorknob out of his hand and shut the door on him almost before he was completely outside…..
Big Bud awakened from his daydream to find himself sitting on the same barstool, ordering one drink after another. He wasn't far from home. He would be all right, he figured. He had been unable to shake the vision of the hatred in his son's eyes. He had always come around after they had a major blow out, but somehow he didn't think that would happen this time. That argument had come out of nowhere. He'd wondered if this day would come. They had been on borrowed time for a long time. His past mistakes had remained buried in the details of all their lives. 'Mistakes' seemed a small word for what he had done. Angie was gone; she was the glue that held their family together. Mikey wouldn't be able to patch this one. The older Mike became, the more distant he was from him. The last time he had seen him it had seemed to him that Mikey could barely stand to be in the same room with him.
"Hey fella, you buying the drinks tonight?"
Bud turned toward the woman speaking to him. She had probably been a pretty woman once. She had a hard look about her. She wore a bit too much make up and reeked of cigarette smoke and Chanel number five. His kind of gal.
"Sure….what'll ya have, honey?" Big Bud didn't care who she was. He was sure he wouldn't even remember her name tomorrow, it didn't matter. He wasn't alone.
1543
Baghdad time
6 Blocks south of Green zone
Baghdad, Iraq
Harm and Gunny were returning to the Green zone following one of their training sessions held at Camp Anaconda. Major Hanson had been talking nonstop about his family since they had left camp.
"We're naming the baby Cassandra. It's for her mother and for my sister Cassidy."
Major Hanson was still beaming with pride. Harm thought that he had been like this since he learned of the baby's birth. The major looked at Gunny.
"You married, Gunny?"
"No sir."
"Confirmed bachelor, huh?"
"Not really, sir, the right woman just never came along. I thought she might've a few times, but it always turned out that she was more in love with the idea of being married to a Marine than the realities." Gunny shrugged.
"How about you, sir?" Major Hanson looked at Harm.
"Yeah, just last Christmas." Harm smiled at the memory.
"Planning on any kids, sir? If I may ask?" He was curious. It seemed the commander became quiet when he spoke about his family.
"You may, and as a matter of fact we just found out we're expecting." Harm gave them a slightly embarrassed grin.
Gunny and Major Hanson congratulated him.
They were nearing the main gate to the green zone when they heard an all too familiar sound. An RPG was rocketing through the air and crashed into the side of their Humvee, striking near the gas tank. Gunny could see exactly where it had lodged in his rearview mirror. For whatever reason the explosion was delayed.
"It's at the gas tank. Its gonna blow. Get out!"
Gunny got out from behind the wheel. Harm and Major Hanson quickly exited on the opposite side of the vehicle. They quickly tried to run for cover when a rain of gunfire exploded into the air. Marines inside the green zone were already responding to the attack. The Humvee exploded, knocking them all to the ground. They were on their feet quickly. Harm, Gunny and the major had begun making their way to the main gate, using the Marines' return fire for cover. They were within a few steps when the major was struck by two bullets. He was hit just above and just below his body armor. Harm was nearest to him and was sprayed with blood and bone from his wound. He was stunned for a moment, and then called to Major Hanson.
"Get in the gate, Commander – they'll come and get me." Harm could barely hear him over the gunfire...
"I'm not leaving you, Major." Harm could hear Gunny yelling in a distant part of his brain, but he could not tear his eyes away from the major.
Major Hanson could feel the life flowing out of him. He knew suddenly that he wasn't going home. "Go on, Commander."
Harm understood what he was thinking and refused to leave him. Things seemed to be going into slow motion.
"I'm going, I know it. You go home, you have to….." The major's eyes began to roll back in his head and his body began to convulse. "Sandy…" The major's last breath left him, and Harm attempted to drag him back to the camp. He felt a fist in the middle of his chest and someone grabbing him by his jacket.
"Commander!" Gunny had grabbed Harm by his DCU jacket and used his body weight and momentum to pull him away from the major. Harm's back hit the wall of the building they were partially hidden behind. The hard hit seemed to knock him into survival mode, and he hit the ground running with Gunny covering him as he went. They made it inside the gate. Harm and Gunny looked back to where Major Hanson lay dead, both trying to absorb what had just happened.
It had been quieter since the elections. There were still 'pockets' of resistance, but they had become smaller within the last two weeks. Suddenly the call for ceasefire was given. After the dust cleared, there were two men who had begun this firefight. Their guns were spent of bullets and the empty RPG launcher lay at their sides. These people meant to die. They had to know there was no way they would get away if they attacked this closely to the green zone. They just wanted to take as many Americans with them as possible. They had taken one American life. Major Thomas Hanson. Cassandra's father. Sandra's husband. He had said that he had two sons. They would never see him again. Harm suddenly felt so weary, as though he could barely walk. He said nothing but turned to walk toward his quarters. A corpsman ran toward him and stopped him with a hand to his chest.
"Commander!" He had already begun trying to assess Harm's injuries. "Commander, are you all right?"
Harm looked at him as though he couldn't quite comprehend what the corpsman was saying. Harm could see the corpsman looking at his uniform. It was then that he became aware of the blood on his clothing and his face. The smell of it hit him full force suddenly, and he felt the bile rising in his throat. Harm turned quickly away from the corpsman and lost whatever lunch he had been able to eat that day. When Harm was able calm his stomach down, he began to tear at his DCU jacket. He pulled so hard that the buttons flew into the air, nearly striking the corpsman. He threw it onto the ground and turned away from it.
"Come on, Commander, let me get you to the infirmary and get the docs to check you out."
"I'm not injured, Petty Officer." Harm thought of Major Hanson and looked back over his shoulder. "I'm fine"
"With all due respect, sir. Let us have a look to be sure." The corpsman was persistent.
Gunny stepped up behind Harm.
"We'd like to have a look at you too, Gunnery Sergeant."
Gunny nodded and they all walked toward the infirmary.
0500
Eastern Standard Time
11 February
Harm and Mac's apartment
North of Union Station.
Mac lay on her back in their bed in a deep sleep, the comforter tucked under her chin. She had been dreaming of snow. She and Harm were back at Pine Loch. It was a quiet and still night. The only sound she heard in her dream was the sound of the large snowflakes lightly touching the ground. She and Harm were walking along the path that led to their cabin. She had her hand in the crook of his arm. He looked down at her and placed his hand over hers. He leaned down to kiss her…
Mac woke suddenly to what she could have sworn was a loud explosion. Her ears were ringing. She sat straight up in bed and immediately broke out in a cold sweat. Something was wrong. She knew it deep in her soul, something was very wrong and it involved Harm.
Mac got up and started making her coffee. She didn't have to be up for over an hour but there wouldn't be any more sleeping this morning. She showered and dressed. While she made her breakfast she turned the television on to listen to the local news and the traffic report. She had court this morning at 0900 so she decided to get there a little early today. She hoped the details of her day would help her shake the feeling of unease she still had.
She hoped against hope that she would hear from Harm today. He couldn't get back soon enough for her.
2200
Baghdad time
11 February
Green zone
Baghdad, Iraq
Harm stood in the shower, letting the hot water pour directly over his head. This was the third shower he had taken today. Outside of a nasty bruise on his back and some skinned knees, he had come out of the firefight unscathed. He could not get the smell of Major Hanson's blood off of him, or so it seemed to him. He knew that this was all in his head, that it was the effects of what he had been through that day. Still, he figured a shower couldn't hurt, whether he was imagining the smell or not.
As the shower water pelted down on his back and shoulders, he thought of Mac and their baby. He suddenly felt an overwhelming need to see his own child. He hadn't allowed himself to think about the baby as a real possibility before this because of the risk to Mac. Now, as he stood there, he couldn't wait to see it. He closed his eyes and summoned the memory of Mac placing her hand almost protectively on her stomach right after they had learned she was pregnant. He had never allowed himself to even touch her there. He needed to go home and tell her he understood now. He believed the baby was meant to be and he wanted to see the baby's face too.
He remembered what Chaplain Turner had said at their wedding. 'You have begun a journey today. One that will bring you great joy and also may bring you pain…..If you bear all things together, you will endure.' As he turned off the shower, he knew that he had been holding back when it came to the baby. He also knew that Mac knew it. He wanted to go home and do what Major Hanson would never do again; hold his wife in his arms.
Harm got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel. He dressed in sweat clothes and went back to his office before going to bed. There wouldn't be any sleep tonight.
He sat at his desk and thought again of what his grandmother had said. 'You need to trust this…for Mac's sake.' He knew now that he needed to do this for his sake too. He hadn't been able to reach Mac all week. He would try and catch her again at work. He dialed the number, praying all the while that she didn't have court that afternoon.
"Colonel Rabb." Mac was slightly out of breath.
"Mac?" Thank God she was there.
"Harm? I was just going to step out. I'm so glad you caught me."
"I've been trying to catch up with you for over a week." God, it was good to hear her voice.
"Any idea about when they may let you come home?" Mac was hopeful.
"I thought it might be the middle of next week, but I don't know for sure." Harm didn't intend to get into it. "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
"Yeah, I don't have court this afternoon and I worked through lunch. I was just going to step out and grab a bite downstairs."
"I don't want you skipping meals, Mac." Harm wanted to talk about something normal, like what she was having for lunch. He didn't want to talk about life and death; he just wanted to hear her voice.
"I'm not skipping meals, Harm. I had a huge breakfast. I think that's pretty good, considering the nightmare that woke me up this morning." She still shuddered to think of it. That was one of the many reasons this call was so welcome. "Besides, I have a bottle of water and a protein bar here in the office. So stop worrying, Harmon."
"What nightmare?" Harm wondered.
"I was having the most wonderful dream. We were back at Pine Loch, walking in a softly falling snow – then out of nowhere there was an explosion so loud it made my ears ring. I woke up in a cold sweat."
"There could be a reason for that. I had a near miss this afternoon."
"What?" Mac knew that something was wrong.
"I'm sorry, Mac – I'll tell you about it when I get home. I just need to hear your voice and talk to you. I need to tell you something. I know I've held back where the baby is concerned. I want you to know I'm sorry." A lump suddenly formed in his throat. "I…..uh, want to see the baby too." He hoped Mac would say something because he knew he wouldn't be able to.
"Harm….it's okay. I know this whole ordeal with me has been so hard for you. You never have complained…except when I left you out of the loop, and I won't do that again."
"Okay," he whispered.
"Harm, are you really all right?" After all he had said about the events of his day, she realized that they really were connected, still.
"Yeah, it's just been a rough day. I miss you." His voice was still a whisper.
"I wish I were there with you." Mac knew he needed her and she wanted so much to be there for him.
"Me too." The sound of her voice was beginning to loosen the knot he had felt in his chest since that afternoon.
Mac heard a knock on her door. "Just a minute, Harm." She looked toward the door and called, "Enter."
Harriet stepped into her office with one of the girls in her arms. "Sorry to intrude, ma'am."
"Harriet, not at all." Mac thought this was just what she and Harm needed.
"I brought someone to see you." As though on cue, baby Jennifer let out a loud wail.
Harm could hear the baby on the line. "Which one is that, Mac?"
"It's baby Jen. She's making herself known, like her namesake."
Harm could hear Harriet and Mac laughing and the baby in the background. He needed to hear about something normal. His friends, his wife, even the insistent cry of an impatient baby was a welcome respite from what he had been feeling for the last 12 hours.
Bud came to her office door and knocked on the frame.
"Bud." Harm heard Mac talking to him, and also in the background, an additional cranky baby.
"Excuse me, ma'am." He looked at Harriet. "Honey, you're going to have to take Justice. General Creswell is back in the building." He looked down the hallway as if he expected him to walk in at any moment. He placed Justice in the double stroller and kissed her forehead. As he turned to walk back down the hallway, he came face to face with General Creswell.
Mac spoke into the phone in a low voice. "Harm, its General Creswell. I think I'm going to have to go."
"Okay, I'll try and catch you later." Harm's heart sank; he wasn't ready to let her go yet.
General Creswell looked into Mac's office and said, "Colonel Rabb, are you speaking with Commander Rabb?"
Mac looked as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Yes, sir."
"Keep him on the line. I want to talk with him." His stern commanding expression was firmly in place.
"Harm, did you hear that?" Mac's tone was almost apologetic.
"Yes, I'll stay on the line." He was suddenly glad he wasn't in Mac's office at this moment.
"Commander Roberts." General Creswell turned toward Bud. "Do you not have enough work to occupy your time?"
The Roberts girls suddenly quieted and watched the general with rapt attention.
"Yes sir" Bud stood at attention.
"Then I suggest you get to it. You are dismissed."
"Yes sir." Bud quickly left them without a backward look.
"Sir, this is really my fault. I brought the girls as a surprise for Bud." Harriet tried to explain.
General Creswell did not smile but looked directly at Harriet. She almost visibly wilted under his gaze. He looked down at the girls, and one of them gave him her most beautiful open mouthed smile and a belly laugh.
A smile played at the corners of his mouth. "Which one is this?" The general nodded toward one half of his adoring audience.
"That's Jennifer, sir," Harriet answered, smiling in spite of herself.
The general nodded thinking to himself. 'It figures.'
Harm was still holding on and had heard the exchange. He supposed he was just waiting his turn for the general to ream him one too.
Mac handed the phone to the general, and he looked at her steadily until she understood that she should leave him.
"Oh, excuse me, sir. I'll just step out for a late lunch."
Mac and Harriet went swiftly out the door. As Mac closed the door behind her, they heard the general say "Commander Rabb…"
Baby Jen heard him too, at which she laughed her belly laugh again, well within earshot of the general.
Mac and Harriet hurried down the hall toward the elevators.
A/N: I wanted to focus on the death of the Marine in this story to call attention to the sacrifices made on a daily basis by our men and women in uniform. I recently saw a news report about a Marine who was killed just two hours after his daughter was born. It moved me to tears. He was interviewed prior to the firefight that killed him. The dedication and professionalism he demonstrated is something I will never forget. He was like any man you would ever want to meet. He loved his family and the Marine Corps. He believed in what he was doing.
I honor him and all those who serve.
Chapter 59
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. They belong to Belasarius Productions. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to The Sixth Juror is fair game. Any spoiler floating around out there may or may not be loosely referred to.
A/N: Just an FYI if any of you want to get another look at McBurney…Pat has a NCIS video called 'whattaman' It's a great video and too funny. You will see Mike further back in a clip from 'Ice Queen' the NCIS pilot ep. http/ Click on NCIS vids.
'Arithmetic' is also one of the best Harm and Mac videos I've ever seen. Check it out.
Rating M
1530
11 February
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
General Creswell closed the door to Mac's office as he spoke to Harm. "I was notified of Major Hanson's death this morning, Commander."
"Yes sir."
"Good man. I was acquainted with the major during his first tour in Iraq." The general would be paying Sandra Hanson a visit later that afternoon.
"Yes sir." Harm thought he should say more but didn't feel he had the words to adequately express what he felt at that moment – the words to say that would do a good man justice.
"I trust you and the Gunny came through the skirmish all right, Commander?" The general had been given a report when he was notified of the incident. He wanted to get a feel for how the commander was handling this for himself.
"Yes sir. I would like to say, sir, that Gunny Galindez literally saved my life today. He should be commended for the way he handled this situation. The knee he had replaced didn't keep him from performing his duty today."
"I am sure you both performed your duties well, Commander. I will however look into your recommendation." He was pleased that the commander was living up to the good things he had heard about him.
"Yes sir." Harm honestly didn't feel he had. Gunny had risked his life to get him back into the compound. He had been momentarily stunned by the attack and the severity of Major Hanson's injuries.
"We need to discuss how we're going to proceed. How close was Major Hanson to completing the training for the Iraqi UCMJ?"
"He was just finishing up, sir; many of the new Iraqi units have already begun implementation of the new protocols."
"Major Hanson was getting ready to rotate out. His replacement was to begin March first." It was an old story, and no matter how many times he heard it, the irony never failed to strike him. A Marine being killed just days before he was to return to the States.
"So I'll be staying, sir?"
"No, Commander, the major's replacement will be deploying early. Lieutenant Colonel Bradley Murphy should be on board by the 14th. Major Hanson's staff will assist in familiarizing him with what has been done so far. I will however expect you to lend any assistance that is required."
"Yes sir."
"I will expect a full report on the transition upon your return. Barring any unforeseen delays, I will expect you and the Gunny to report to JAG headquarters by Monday the 21st."
"Yes sir." He was relieved to have a clear date to look forward to, but the major's words were still going through his head. 'You go home….you have to…' He was so sorry that the major wouldn't be going as well.
"Do they have any idea who the shooters were?"
"They have identified both of them. I recognized one of the men; I remember seeing him on the way to the compound just minutes before the attack... The authorities here have identified him as former Iraqi military. The other is believed to be Syrian. He had a Syrian passport."
"Very well. Carry on, Commander." With that the general ended the call. He placed the handset on the phone and left Mac's office.
1630
14 February
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Lieutenant Commander Faith Coleman walked into her office shortly after leaving the courtroom. She noticed that there was a coffee mug sitting on the calendar. She walked around her desk and saw that the mug had a small red ribbon tied around the handle. The letters USMC were written boldly on the side of the mug in red, so large that it could have been seen from across the office. She also noticed that the mug was placed on today's date. February 14th. No card was given. She smiled and picked up the mug. She was looking at it when General Creswell passed her office. He could not help noticing her gift.
"Commander." General Creswell stood in the doorway.
Faith put the mug down on her desk and came to attention. "Sir."
"Stand easy. Nice coffee mug….gift?" He raised his brows in question.
Faith felt awkward. "Ah…yes…sir…I think so."
"You don't know if this is a gift?" The general was puzzled.
"I….I don't know who it's from, sir." She felt like an idiot.
The general tapped the doorframe and turned to leave. "Well, it looks as though your secret admirer has good taste. Carry on"
"Yes sir." She could feel heat rising up her neck to the top of her head. 'Secret Admirer?'
1710
14 February
Harm and Mac's Apartment
North of Union Station
Mac was coming in the door when she heard Harm's voice on the answering machine. She ran to the phone and picked it up. "Hello? Harm?"
"Mac, I'm so glad I caught you." Harm thought he had missed her yet again.
"Hello, you – it's got to be after 0100 there now. What are you doing up so late?" He sounded tired.
"I wanted to get as much done as quickly as I can so I can get back to you. Besides, I think I'll be out of here sometime tomorrow or early Wednesday."
"Oh, thank God. I think this had been the longest four weeks in my life."
"Yeah, me too. I think I may be back by Friday. At least I hope to be. By the way, happy Valentines Day."
"That's right, it's Valentines Day and you're too far away to properly celebrate." A smile crept into her voice.
"Yes I am, but I didn't forget. I hope you won't mind, but since Jen still has a key, she delivered your Valentine gifts."
She turned to look around the room for the first time since she answered the phone. There were four dozen roses placed around the apartment: in the kitchen on the island, on the coffee table, at their bedside and on the dining room table. She hadn't even noticed their scent until now. They were same deep shade of red as the ones she had carried at her wedding.
"Oh Harm, they're beautiful." She felt tears spring to her eyes. She was quiet for a moment, wiping away tears.
"Hey, are you still there?" Harm thought they might have lost their connection.
"I'm here. Damn it… I cry at the drop of a hat lately. I even cry over Hallmark commercials."
Harm chuckled into the phone. "Sounds like I'll be coming home to a whole new Mac."
He knew that she was getting frustrated with herself, but he found it very endearing at the moment.
"It's not funny," she protested, only half serious. "What if I were to lose it in court?"
"Oh, Mac, I don't think you'll do that. This probably won't last long anyway." He knew she wouldn't do as she feared; no matter what was going on, Mac was too professional for that and he told her so.
She had needed to hear that. His confidence in her meant so much to her.
"Harm, the roses are so beautiful. I can't believe you did this. Why so many?"
Mac had walked from the living room to the bedroom and back, looking at them all. She touched the delicate petals with the tips of her fingers.
"A dozen for every week I've been gone." Harm blushed, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Oh…" Mac teared up again. "You know, you're going to have to stop being so nice. You're making me cry." Her voice was cracking with emotion.
"Well, I never thought I'd hear you say that." Harm laughed in earnest. He couldn't help it. "Honey, you have to stop that crying. I promise I'll never send you roses again."
"Okay…at least not until I get myself under control again." Mac was laughing and wiping tears from her eyes.
"I kind of like Mac…out of control." Harm couldn't resist teasing her.
"Very funny, Sailor."
"I love you, Mac." Harm was a bit more serious.
"I love you too." Mac heard a beep come over the line.
"Honey, I have to go. We have to keep the calls to a minimum. I just wanted to let you know I'm nearly on my way and wish you Happy Valentines Day."
"Happy Valentines Day to you, Harm."
"Bye." And with that the phone cut off.
She took the phone away from her ear and said to no one, "Bye."
Still weepy, she walked back into their bedroom and decided to shower and get comfortable before she ate dinner. She thought a shower might help her settle down and get a grip. Harm was coming home; what in the world was she crying about? She had picked up some Chinese on her way home. It made her feel lonelier to make dinner only for herself. She had done it for years before she and Harm finally found each other, but now she could barely stand it.
After dinner Mac settled on the couch with a book: James Patterson's 3rd Degree. A murder mystery was probably not what she needed to be reading just now, but she wanted something to occupy her mind. Anything to help her think about something besides how far away Harm was and how much she missed him. She had been falling asleep on the couch lately and getting up in the middle of the night to get into bed. She hated getting into bed alone since her nightmare. It seemed to her that his side of the bed felt huge.
By 2130 she began to nod off, so she thought she better go to bed. She locked up and turned the lights out except for her bedside lamp. She sighed and pulled the covers back – and sat down on something that felt like cardboard. Mac jumped up quickly and pulled the covers back.
She saw a huge poster-size Valentine card. On the front of the card was a picture of a very sad-looking bull dog with a red ribbon around its neck. Mac laughed out loud and lifted the card out of the bed. It read: "Wish I could be with you on Valentines Day. I miss you. Love, Harm" How could he have done this? It had his signature. She knew it as well as her own. It was perfect, though, and it was just what she needed.
He could read her like a book, even from halfway around the world. She would have to remember to thank Jen for helping make this possible. She stood the card against the wall so that she could see it from where she lay in bed. She slipped into her bed and turned out the light. She hoped he would like the gift she had for him.
1300
London time
14 February
North park Muslim Women's Shelter
Oldham, United Kingdom
A man in a public works uniform shuffled down the sidewalk in front of the shelter. He walked to the glass storefront door and opened it. He walked toward the desk to ask for the proprietor. A man approached him immediately and asked him what he wanted. He answered him in a thick cockney accent.
"I need to speak to the owner 'ere. Been working on the gas lines two doors down, want to make sure there ain't no damage down your way."
The man stepped more squarely between the public works man and the young woman at the desk.
"I am Arzu Muehe. May I help you?" The man spoke in impeccable English with no hint of an accent.
"I'm just here from the public works to check out your pipes…I been working down the road there and I'm to be sure you have no problems 'ere..." The man smiled, revealing several missing teeth.
"You may proceed. Please let us know if we can be of any assistance."
He turned to the woman at the desk and spoke to her in Farsi, thinking the old man could not understand.
As the man walked to the back of the building he heard him instruct the young woman at the desk to say nothing to him. He told her that if the man were to have any questions she was to direct them to him and that if she did not she would be punished severely...
The public works man made his way to the utility room, but not before noticing several women sitting on mats on the floor: wearing traditional Muslim dress, eyes down and hands folded on their laps. The teacher's lesson was apparently on the role of Muslim women. 'Women are for the house...'
The shelter was purported to be a place where Muslim women who had recently immigrated west could learn new work and language skills. The woman at the front desk was dressed as any other western woman except for the hijab she wore on her head. As he walked toward the back of the building, another picture emerged.
As the public works man opened the door to the utility closet, he spoke under his breath. "You in place, D2?"
There was what appeared to be an old vagrant man walking up the alley behind the store front. "On my way, D1." Each building had a small bricked enclosure with trash receptacles just out side the gate. There were approximately two dozen men sitting on mats inside the small bricked garden behind the North Park Women's Shelter.
"I will quote my brave brother from the Speakers Corner. 'Yes, my friend, I am an extremist and I hope my children are extremists.' We must proclaim that there is but one god and his name is Allah. We must rid the world of the Crusaders." Asa al Hundu seldom allowed himself to be seen in public. This however was a special occasion. Many brothers were in place to begin their new mission. This was only the beginning. They were regrouping from their losses in Afghanistan. It was time to remind the world who they were. The shootings of British nationals in Riyadh and the murder in of another in Iraq last fall had apparently already fallen from the British national conscience. They must strike harder and send two nations into mourning once again.
D2 shuffled closer to the enclosed area to allow him to hear and see who was speaking. "My friends, our brother Aziz Nasiri will be allowed to complete our holy task. The great Satan will send its woman of state to meet with its lap dog. We will use this opportunity to show the world their weakness. They will die in the streets at Number 10 Downing. The world will see and they will know."
D2 listened as he turned to walk away from the makeshift prayer room, lifting lids from garbage cans as he went. The speaker noticed his movement in his peripheral vision.
"Who is this?" he said aloud. "A worthless dog that picks from the scraps of others.
Stop him!" He could not allow a man to act in such a way without correction. The men stood from their prayer rugs and began to chase him.
"D3, are you in place?" he said just before the men caught up with him. He prayed the authorities would catch up with him before his wire was found.
"We are, D2." D3 contacted the local police.
Their plan B had been simple: if either man incurred the wrath of the residents or patrons of the establishment, they were to incite as much of a disturbance as they could. Local authorities could be called in to quell the disturbance and arrest D1 or D2; thereby rescuing them from what could be certain death.
D1 had heard the disturbance and the conversation of D2 and D3. He carefully secured the listening device inside the room above the door frame. He closed the utility room door and walked casually toward the door. He tipped his cap toward the young woman at the desk.
"It's all right as rain, Miss." The young woman looked at him; she seemed to be imploring him not to say more, and then she looked down, busying herself with some papers on the desk. D1 slipped unnoticed out the door.
D1 would make a phone call later that day. He would call an old comrade from his days in Vietnam. He had flown the unfriendly skies with Lieutenant Tom Boone. Although his government still denied that the S.A.S ever fought in Vietnam, he knew at least one person who knew for a fact that he had.
0700
15 February
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Faith had come in early this morning. She wanted to have time to leave her gift for Michael before he had the chance to catch her. She had planned it perfectly. She'd found a coffee mug similar to hers but with very large blue letters that read GO NAVY on the outside. She'd even found a blue ribbon to tie around the handle. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face. This was fun.
She was touched that he'd thought of her yesterday, but he had also been kind enough not to make it too personal. He had known it would make her uncomfortable. She thought again about what a good guy he turned out to be.
She slipped into his darkened office and placed the coffee mug on his desk on today's date, February 15th. She knew it was late and that it didn't make sense to give a Valentine's gift on the 15th, but somehow it fit. She returned to her office and closed the door.
General Creswell walked across the bullpen from the break room. He was carrying his second cup of coffee of the day. A bright blue ribbon caught his eye as he passed Major McBurney's office. He stopped and looked through the open blinds in his office window, spotting the coffee mug very similar in appearance to Commander Coleman's. He drew his brows down in thought and continued to walk toward his office.
0830
15 February
Chegwidden residence
Meredith Point, Maryland
AJ answered the phone in his office. "Tom! I was wondering if I was going to hear from you."
"I think it's time we had another conversation about Trafalgar Square." Tom had some information that might help. He also had heard from Jack.
"Do you want me to contact Nelson?" AJ didn't relish the thought. He'd had one too many battles with the old SecNav.
"No, I've already spoken with him. We're going to meet him at his home, if that's all right with you."
"I'd prefer it. When?"
"Tomorrow, about 1300, if you can make it."
"Sounds good. See you then."
Tom Boone hung up and turned his attention to a news report on television. The lovely ZNN anchor woman was describing the DIA's special clandestine teams that were being used by the Pentagon to gather intelligence.
Tom smiled without humor and shook his head. "Well, honey, they're not too 'clandestine' now."
Same time
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
The staff was assembled at the conference room table. The doors to the conference room opened and Petty Officer Coates called
"Attention on deck!"
With that, all present came to attention. The general walked into the room, carrying his coffee mug. It looked exactly like the one Mike had placed on Faith's desk yesterday. Their eyes locked for a split second, and then both officers resumed eyes forward at attention.
The general pulled his chair out. "Be seated."
Faith and Mike sat directly across from each other, beside Sturgis and Bud who sat nearer to the general.
General Creswell leaned slightly forward, looking at Mike. "Are you a coffee drinker, Major?"
"Yes, sir."
Mike was trying to figure out what was happening here. It couldn't be a coincidence. He had never seen a mug like that one in the office before he bought Faith's yesterday. If this was bait, he wasn't taking it.
He looked at Faith. "You, Commander?" He was giving her his unreadable and assessing look.
Faith could do this. She was an expert at unreadable. Although she had to hand it to General Creswell; she hadn't seen this coming. He must have seen her this morning, or maybe he had seen Mike yesterday.
"Yes, sir."
Bud and Sturgis were looking at each other, trying to figure out why this morning's staff call was about coffee so far. Lieutenant Vukovic and Petty Officer Coates, who were also present, were just glad not to be the focus of his attention.
The general opened the file he had placed in front of him. "We have ET1 Miles Thomas, undergoing training at FCDSSA Dam Neck, charged with attempted murder. Commander Turner, you will prosecute. Commander Roberts, you will defend."
Bud opened the file. He was to defend a man accused of attempting to kill his wife. 'Okay, is this a test?' His thoughts must have been apparent on his face.
"Problem, Commander?"
"No, sir." Bud put his game face back on.
Sturgis gave him a questioning look for a moment. He knew something was up with Bud.
"Major McBurney, Commander Lucy Maron is charged with dereliction of duty. Her patient, PFC Jeff Kilpatrick, was released to return to Iraq after she deemed him fit for duty; apparently the PFC had difficulties after his return to Iraq... You will prosecute, Major, and Commander Coleman, you will defend."
The general chose this time to take another drink of his coffee. Mike and Faith were following his movements and then both looked away almost at the same time.
The rest of staff call was uneventful. Lieutenant Vukovic was to sit second chair with Sturgis. The general dismissed the staff and they filed out of the conference room.
Faith made eye contact with no one but walked swiftly toward her office. Mike followed not far behind. Faith sat down at her desk as Mike stood in her doorway. He knocked on the frame of the door.
"Major?" She looked up at him, her face had 'what do you want' written all over it.
"Commander, may I come in?" His eyes were sparkling with amusement. He decided that the general was having a bit of fun with them. If they had been in any real trouble they would be in General Creswell's office right now.
"Do you think that's wise, Major?" She arched an eyebrow. Her expression returned to unreadable.
He took one step in and lowered his voice. "Come on, Faith, relax."
She gave him a look of exasperation and then nodded toward the chair in front of her desk. She was afraid that if she argued with him it would draw attention.
"What's wrong with you?"
"What do you think? You know very well that the general brought that mug into staff call on purpose." Faith whispered loudly, which made the situation even more amusing in Mike's eyes.
"He was just having a little bit of fun, Faith. If he thought we were doing anything wrong, we would surely know by now. Just relax, we're just friends. You're acting guilty…. do you know that?"
He knew that would set her off, but he was having such a good time teasing her that he chuckled in spite of himself. "By the way, thank you for my coffee mug. Even if you actually stole my idea…" He counted to himself, three, two, one…
Faith's face flushed red, and she drew her brows into a frown.
"What? Stole your idea? Who is acting guilty….what do you mean…"
She saw what he had been up to and it had worked; he'd made her step back and stop being so serious. He was going to make her laugh at herself again.
"You're welcome." Faith remembered her manners, blushing all the while
Michael was laughing at her now; behind his hand to be sure he wasn't overheard.
She looked down unable to keep the smile from her lips. She looked at him and laughed. "Get out of my office….."
Mike stood and composed himself as best he could and did as he was told.
1300
16 February
Nelson Residence
Alexandria, Virginia
Former Secretary of the Navy Nelson sat in his den with Tom and AJ. "I am expecting Jack any moment. Shall I pour you a drink, gentlemen?"
"No thanks, too early for me."
AJ folded his arms across his chest and settled back on the sofa. He hoped they were closer to a resolution on this. He would have liked to be able to tell Harm the next time he saw him that this was resolved. Harm had no idea what they had learned so far; he preferred that he not know anything until it had already been taken care of. He may have been overstepping in that regard, but at least he wasn't alone in his desire to do it this way. AJ smirked, thinking about Rabb's usual reaction to being left out of the loop.
"Something amusing, AJ?" Nelson sat down in a wing backed chair near his fireplace.
"I was just thinking about how glad I am that Rabb doesn't know anything about this yet. I think we should keep it this way until the matter is resolved."
"I agree wholeheartedly." Nelson emphasized the last word. "Things seem to get out of control when he is involved, especially when the situation involves a family member or a friend, directly or indirectly."
Tom Boone listened and nodded in agreement. He wanted to do something to help Harm and seek justice for Trish, for Hammer's sake. He would never forget his old friend. Harm had become a friend to him as well, although he gave him a hard time about it. 'You have friends?' he had said. He did consider Harm just that.
Nelson heard his wife leading Jack back to his den. He stood and met him in the doorway.
"We did say 1300, didn't we, Jack?"
"Oh…am I late?"
Jack feigned concern, much to the amusement of the other two men in the room. Jack didn't feel the need to answer to Nelson, although he definitely wanted to be on his team. He still wasn't sure of Nelson's motives, but as long as the end result was the same, he didn't care. Nasiri was going down one way or the other. Jack walked to the open bar and poured himself a large bourbon. He turned back toward the other three men.
"Cheers, gentlemen."
AJ just watched him with amused curiosity. How did he drink like that and stay as healthy as he appeared to be? He agreed with Sturgis – there was something unjust about that.
Nelson huffed. "Help yourself, Jack."
"Don't mind if I do" He downed his drink and poured another before sitting down on the large sofa at the center of the room.
"What do you have, Tom?" Jack knew Tom had something in mind or he wouldn't have called this meeting.
"My contacts believe something big is in the works. Our friend Nasiri has apparently been chosen for a 'holy task' sometime in the near future. We do not have the whole story, but we do believe it will take place in Britain. Apparently they believed that the college students, who were the original target at Trafalgar Square that day, were diverted because they were not important enough in the eyes of Allah. They want a prominent political figure. My contact believes it is our new secretary of state."
Jack sat forward on his seat. He started to speak but then stopped.
They all looked at him.
"Our new secretary of state will visit Number 10 Downing Street in March." Jack sat his drink down. "It has to be March 20."
Nelson stood and walked to his bar. "The question is, how do they know about the trip? Her itinerary is not public knowledge."
AJ looked at Jack. "How do you know this, Jack – Blaisdell?"
Jack was silent. He did not work with the Company. He would not disclose even to his closest friends who he worked for, not for anyone.
"Gentlemen, I have never said I worked for the Company, and Blaisdell did not give me this information."
Tom raised his eyebrows. "The Company is not aware of this?"
Nelson piped in, "You'd be surprised what the Company doesn't know."
"Look, Blaisdell is not necessarily a bad guy in this; he did help us locate Nasiri. I know they are using him to get to someone, a very high value target. I don't want to get in anyone's way, but I am not going to sit on my hands while Nasiri builds another bomb and kills more innocent people."
Nelson was silent for a moment. He knew why Nasiri was being allowed to move about freely. He had known for some time. He also knew who Jack worked for and admired his discretion. He knew that the so called 'high value target' was...Asa al Hundu, long suspected to have direct involvement in the preparation for the 9/11 hijackings. His superiors had to be notified. If they were not careful he could slip through their fingers and they would lose both Nasiri and al Hundu.
AJ spoke. "This is getting more complicated by the minute. I am in this to help in any way I can to see justice done for a friend and colleague. I think it would be wise to step carefully. We warned Harm to let the authorities take care of this."
AJ looked at Jack. "I think the same should apply to us. It's one thing to identify the bomber, and follow the progress of the authorities in his capture; it is another to involve ourselves personally."
Nelson stood and walked toward the window behind his desk and looked out. "I can assure you, AJ, no one here is working outside government channels." He looked at Jack. "I know that for a fact."
Jack needed to make a phone call. He didn't have time to socialize anymore. Suddenly things were deadly serious. He wasn't sure what his superiors knew and there was only one way to find out.
0700
Baghdad time
16 February
Baghdad International Airport
Baghdad, Iraq
The plane carrying Harm and Gunny had just lifted off of the runway. As the plane ascended, Harm looked out of the window. He watched as Baghdad became smaller and smaller until it became what looked like a patch in the desert. He thought for a moment of the contrast, the brown desert with the patch of city with the blue of the Chesapeake Bay and the green of Virginia and Maryland. He closed his eyes and put his head back; letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Home. He was going home, to his life, to Mac.
Gunny sat across the aisle from him. He saw the commander lean back. "Ready to go home, sir?"
"Yes, I am." He opened his eyes and looked at Gunny. This trip had been pretty tough on him too, though he knew Gunny would die before he ever admitted it. "You know, Gunny, I want you to know I appreciate what you did back there." Harm paused for a moment and looked down. "The day Major Hanson was killed."
Gunny was serious. "Not at all, sir. I was just doing my job."
"I know I shouldn't have hesitated. I could have gotten us both killed." Harm was still going over the incident in his mind.
"Sir, if I may, that's not how I saw it at all. You wanted to give Major Hanson a chance to come home to his family. I just think he knew something that you didn't; he knew he wasn't going to make it." Gunny had seen the look before – more than once – of a mortally wounded man who knew he was going to die.
Harm nodded, and extended his hand to Gunny, who shook it. "Thanks, Gunny."
"You're welcome, sir."
Harm leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes and heard the words the major had said. "I'm going…I know it…" Harm's eyes snapped open and he opened his briefcase. He needed to think about something else. He would catch up on his sleep later.
Gunny was lost in thought as well, remembering the conversation just before the RPG hit. The major was still beaming with pride about his family and asking Gunny about his life. 'Confirmed bachelor, huh?' He hoped he would not always be a bachelor. Just now it occurred to him that being alone was not something he wanted to do any more. He had been thinking about this for some time and it was past time to do something about it. How hard could it be to ask someone out? He was a Marine, for God's sake.
0030
18 February
Harm and Mac's apartment
North of Union Station
Harm quietly slipped his key back out of the door after he opened it, and flipped on the small lamp beside the door. Taking off his overcoat, he hung it on the peg near the door and pulled his tie loose from his neck. He didn't want to wake Mac; he hoped she would stay asleep at least until he slipped into bed beside her. Dreams of doing just that had been with him for the last day and a half. He slipped his shoes off and removed his tie as he walked quietly toward their bedroom. Harm looked up to find Mac watching him.
He stopped short, startled for a moment. "Hi."
Mac saw love and what she could have sworn was a little bit of wonder in his expression. She stood at the top of the steps, her hair beautifully disheveled, her body full and lush looking under her silk pajamas.
She spoke, "Hello, Sailor."
Her sleepy sexy voice wrapped around his head, shooting sparks all the way down his spine. Harm walked swiftly to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He had pulled her shirt up and her waistband down as he pulled her toward him so that he could lay his cheek against her stomach. He kissed her smooth skin there, and then stepped up the steps, lifting her as he went. Mac's body slid down his and he kissed her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Harm nearly forced her mouth open with his own; he was so hungry to taste the flavor that was distinctly Mac. Her body was warm and firm under his hands and if it was possible Harm would have sworn her skin was softer than he remembered.
He broke the kiss. "Mac…"
His need for her was immediate and so intense that he nearly fell to his knees. He nipped at her bottom lip before plunging down to her neck and tasting it with hot open mouthed kisses that nearly took her breath away.
Mac continued to cling to him tightly. She ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and whispered his name into his ear before she took the lobe between her teeth.
Harm inhaled sharply. "Baby…God, let me…"
He kissed her deeply again as he laid her carefully down on the bed. He needed to lay her down while he could still stand. She slid her hands down his chest, smoothly unbuttoning his shirt.
He broke the kiss. "Baby ...you're killing me."
Harm ground himself against her. His body was calling out to hers on a primal level – he needed her like the air he breathed.
She brought both hands up on each side of his face and nipped his top and bottom lip. It was as though she had read his mind. She looked him directly in the eye.
"Love me, Harm." She kissed him hungrily. "Now."
What was left of Harm's clothing and Mac's pajamas was quickly dispensed with. Mac pulled Harm down between her legs and he framed her face between his forearms.
"I wanted to take my time. You're so beautiful, Mac." He tasted her lips and looked at her through eyes half closed and dark with desire.
Mac arched her body beneath him, straining to get closer. She opened her mouth to deepen her kiss, drawing him in further.
He couldn't believe how ready she was for him. They came together slowly; Harm was trying to control himself, and he did not want to hurt her. Her body was so wet and tight and warm, it felt like the sweetest torture to take it so slowly. He trailed kisses along her jaw line to her temple and back down.
Mac was still clinging to him tightly – she could feel him holding back. He was nearly holding his breath and his body was trembling with need.
"You're not going to hurt me ….please don't hold back." She took his bottom lip and nipped him slightly with her teeth. "Please….."
With that all of his control snapped and a low growl rumbled from deep in his chest. He plunged his hands into her hair and tasted the sweet skin where her shoulder met her neck. Every breath he heard her take, every sound she made caused every nerve ending in his body to hum with pleasure.
Mac felt her release coiling low in her body; she wanted him to let go and go over the edge with her. No matter how many times they made love, it never ceased to thrill her that he found that much pleasure in her. He had seemed so elusive for so long, but now he was hers on a level she never thought possible.
Harm felt his control slipping. He plunged both hands down, cupping her bottom, tilting her body just so, kicking up the pleasure a notch for both of them, if that was possible.
He closed his lips around her ear lobe and growled "…let it go, baby." As he spoke, Mac felt her body tighten around him as she flushed warm with release as they let go together.
Sometime later she lay still tucked under him, his arms and body framing her securely underneath. He raised his head and gave her a lopsided grin.
Mac chuckled softly. "Well, hello to you, too."
He kissed her cheek. "Hello." He looked at her through half closed eyes. "You taste so good." He tasted her neck again, reawakening every nerve ending in her body.
"So do you." She rested her hands low on his back.
He raised his head, suddenly concerned. "Am I too heavy?"
"No, my stomach just feels a little tighter down there. I love the feeling of our baby between us." She smiled up at him.
"I love you." He kissed her temple.
She touched his arm and looked into his eyes. "I love you too."
TBC