Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 62
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to 'Bridging the Gulf' is fair game. Any spoiler floating around out there may be loosely referred to.
A/N: Many thanks to aerogirl for her beta reading skills and her excellent input.
2035
Thursday
March 10
American Airlines Flight 732
Somewhere over the Midwest
It had been a grueling four days. Both Mike and Faith were so tired they didn't even try to make conversation. Mike thought it was another sign of true friendship. They had the ability to be quiet together and still be comfortable. Faith had held up well, he thought. She had a lot more strength than she realized. Faith kept her military bearing but had been intently focused on what the families of the fallen Marines had to say. She'd given them the time they needed to speak their minds and rail against the situation if they wanted to. She hadn't been emotional at all. It was a time when her rein on her emotions benefited her well.
Commander Turner and the JAG investigators on the ground in Iraq had been able to find the origin of the blast. It was an IED that had been exploded by remote control. It had been attached to a new coffee urn that was to be installed that morning by a civilian contractor. It had been placed near the old one and a mess cook was just minutes from installing it. The device had been placed inside the urn prior to its having been brought onto the camp. SOP was that any type of Iraqi civilian contractor, once inside the camp, was to be guarded by at least two Marines. Any type of working party consisting of Iraqi civilians was also heavily guarded and closely watched. Sturgis did feel that security was lax as far as the civilian contractors outside the camp were concerned. More could have been done to prevent this; protocols had already been changed, just too late for the Marines who were killed. He'd made his recommendations and was returning to JAG.
Knowing the truth did very little to heal the immediate wounds of the families, though. He hoped time would help. Both Marines had taken out additional life insurance, so their families were compensated well monetarily. One of the young men had a wife and child; his widow was only 20 years old, his son only 18 months old. He couldn't fathom being married at that age, much less being widowed.
Mike was shaken from his thoughts by a touch on his arm.
"Michael?" Faith looked at him, questioning.
"Yeah?" Mike sat forward in his seat and stretched slightly, trying to shake the cobwebs from his mind.
"Are you all right?" He had been quiet for the last hour.
"I was just going over the past few days in my head." He leaned back into his seat.
Faith looked at him. "It might be better not to dwell on it. We did everything we could, but there was no way to assuage the pain they were feeling."
"You did a really good job back there, Faith. It was really awkward at times, but you never showed a moment of discomfort. I have to say I admired that." As he finished his sentence, he looked at her.
She turned her head to look out the window, seeing nothing but the dark night. "Thank you, but it was not easy for me. I'm just used to…hiding my feelings. It was very difficult."
"What they needed was someone who focused on them and let them have their say without getting emotional. Sometimes that is the best way; let me pay you a compliment, Faith." He nudged her with his elbow. "You did well."
She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you."
"Man, I'm ready to get back, even if it means getting up at 0600 tomorrow morning."
He just wanted to sleep in his own bed tonight. He suddenly remembered Commander Turner's invitation for his engagement party tomorrow night. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"
Faith answered automatically, thinking more in terms of conversation that of a date. "Nothing in particular. I'm feeling pretty worn out from this …ordeal. I'll probably try to lose myself in a good book."
The commander had said he could bring someone. "Commander Turner invited me to his engagement party tomorrow night. The Rabbs are giving it. Why don't you come with me?"
He didn't relish the thought of being there without her; Commander Rabb enjoyed ribbing him too well.
"I don't know, Michael – I don't really know Commander Turner very well."
Faith really didn't want to go. He seemed nice enough; he was a very squared away officer as far as she was concerned. She just wasn't sure she knew him well enough to come to a celebration that personal.
"Come on, Faith. I don't know them any better than you do, but he did ask me personally, and he also said I could bring a date."
He wanted to take the last part of that sentence back, but it was too late. He saw Faith's walls go up immediately.
"I don't know." How would she get out of this? She couldn't have people thinking they were dating.
"Look, Faith, it's just me." He decided to go for the emotional plea. "I have to go now since the commander asked me – please come with me. They've all been friends for years; I want to bring a friend of my own." He gave her his most disarming smile.
'Oh, there it is. He's turning on the charm,' she thought. She was becoming less and less immune to it all the time. She sighed audibly.
He had won, he knew it. "We'll only stay an hour and I'll think of some reason we have to get out of there, I promise."
Faith was still quiet. She was going to go; she was just trying to be sure that nothing could be read into her acceptance of his invitation.
"All right, I'll buy you another steak." He was getting desperate.
She laughed. He had resorted to bribery. She was going to go anyway, but he didn't need to know that.
0830
Friday
March 11
North Park Muslim Women's Shelter
Oldham, England
MI-5 agents with police backup were in place at four locations around the women's shelter, waiting. They planned to move in as soon as Nasiri entered the shelter. Aziz Nasiri walked briskly up the sidewalk toward the building. He carried a backpack with the last component of the bomb he and his mentor al Hundu were building. It would be nine days until he would be allowed to fulfill his destiny and send the British and American dignitaries to hell, where he believed they belonged. He saw some of the women and children getting into a bus in front of the shelter.
Just before he stepped down the curb to cross the street, he heard what sounded like a car backfiring, coming from the street below. He walked to the rail on the small overpass and looked down into the alley. He saw nothing.
The bus was backing out of its parking place in front of the shelter. The driver's foot slipped from the brake onto the gas, sending the bus backward very quickly. Nasiri was turning around when the bus jumped the curb and hit him, knocking him over the rail of the overpass. Nasiri had no time to react or call out. The driver did not realize he had hit him. He thought the bump he felt was from the bus going up over the high curb. The women who sat in the bus had not looked up or around. They sat with eyes down and hands clasped in their laps. They were being watched closely by Mr. Muehe, who was accompanying them, and from where Mr. Muehe sat he had not seen him either.
A little girl, who sat with her mother, did see him fall. She was terrified and confused. She remembered this man from yesterday. He had struck her mother hard across her face. She had made the mistake of looking directly at him. He had hit her more than once, but the blow to her face had caused her to pass out. The little girl had thought for a moment that her mother was dead. What should she do? Should she tell the man who was accompanying them? What if he became angry and beat her? What if they beat her mother again? She would say nothing. They were on their way to see a doctor. They would help her mother. She would never tell anyone what she saw. The bus started down the street and turned the corner. Two blocks down they were stopped by policemen and government agents. The little girl and her mother were rescued almost before they understood what was happening.
Aziz Nasiri had fallen hard on the pavement. He had broken his cervical vertebra high in his neck. His third cervical vertebra had in fact been shattered. This interfered with the innervations of his diaphragm. He felt nothing from his neck down and his breathing was becoming difficult to impossible. He knew he was dead, his holy task left undone. His last thought was of the little girl he saw as he fell over the rail. He had looked into her eyes and saw the fear and loathing in them.
Mr. Nasiri was dead.
2045
Friday
March 11
Harm and Mac's apartment
Sturgis and Varise's party was beginning to break up. The happy couple had left fifteen minutes before. A good time was had by all. AJ had come but Marcella was in New York with Francesca. Harm and Mac were at the door saying goodbye to Bud and Harriet.
"Thanks again for helping me with this, Harriet." Mac hugged her as she started through the door.
"Oh, I didn't really do anything. It was just great to get out and be with my friends again." She took Bud's arm and they walked toward the elevator.
"Good night, sir, ma'am," Bud still couldn't do the Harm and Mac thing yet.
At the same time Harm and Mac said, "Bud," slightly exasperated.
"I'm sorry." Bud and Harriet laughed as they closed the gate to the elevator.
Mike and Faith were now leaving and hoping to make a quick exit. They had mingled with the other guests tonight but talked mostly to each other.
"Mike, thank you for coming." He smiled broadly and shook his hand.
"Thank you for having us…Harm." Mike was having a hard time with the first names too.
Harm gave Mike a wink when Faith was saying goodbye to Mac. He turned toward Faith.
"Faith, it was nice to have you here tonight."
She looked at him and couldn't help returning his charming, though mischievous, smile. "Thank you, s...Harm." She blushed furiously and followed Mike closely out the door.
Harm started to say something to them but Mac slipped into his arms, distracting him just enough to allow their escape. Mac reached up and whispered, "Stop it, Harmon."
"What? I was being a gracious host." He gave her a sly look.
"You know what you're doing."
Harm hugged her to him and happened to notice Jen in the kitchen, starting to clear things away. He stepped out of Mac's embrace.
"What are you doing, Jennifer?" Harm went swiftly into the kitchen, shooing her out. "We have this under control. You're a guest."
"You need some help clearing this away. I don't mind, really." Jen wanted to help. She had missed being around both Harm and Mac. This apartment felt like home to her even in light of all that had happened in the apartment next door.
Mac stepped into the kitchen. "The night is still young – you should get out and enjoy it. It's not even nine o'clock"
Just then they heard a knock at their door. Harm looked around, thinking that maybe one of the guests had forgotten something. He opened the door to see Tom and Jack standing in the doorway. "Kind of late, aren't you?"
"Sorry, has everyone gone home?" Jack spoke in a low voice, leaning in and looking around the apartment. He saw AJ and Gunny talking in the living room. "We probably ought to wait until more of your guests have gone."
Harm looked slightly confused, and then he realized that this must be about Trafalgar Square. "We were just finishing up. Come in." He nodded toward Tom Boone. "Tom."
"Rabb, it has been a while, hasn't it?"
He shook Harm's hand. He couldn't explain it, but he felt such a sense of relief about the news he was going to share with him tonight. He had made a promise to himself that Trish's killer would not get by with what he had done. He would see him dead, no matter what it took. Now it was true, and without firing a shot; Trish would have liked that.
AJ looked across the room at Harm and his new guests. He caught Tom's eye and he knew something was up. He looked back at Gunny.
"Excuse me, Gunny, I think I'll go say hello to the late arrivals."
Gunny took that as his cue to get Jennifer going. Something was up, and he had the feeling that whatever it was couldn't be discussed while he and Jen were there.
He walked to where she was standing with Mac.
"Are you about ready to go?" He smiled at Jennifer.
She returned his smile warmly. "Yes, let me get my coat."
He touched her shoulder. "I'll get it."
Mac looked at Jen with raised eyebrows. "You and the Gunny?"
Jen folded her arms across her chest and looked away. "Yeah, I think so." She turned to look at him and saw that he was waiting near the door.
"I hope it works out for you, Jen." Mac said it sincerely
"Thank you, Mac." Jen walked to Gunny and he slipped her coat onto her shoulders.
She and Harm bade them goodnight, and they left with Gunny holding her elbow, gently guiding her out. Mac turned around to see AJ, Tom and Harm standing in the living room talking. They kept their voices low; something was definitely up, and this time Mac wasn't going to be left out of the conversation.
"Please sit down, gentlemen. Can I get any of you something to drink?" Mac figured that was one way to place her into the conversation. They all politely declined.
Harm held his hand out to her. "Come on, this concerns you too."
Mac breathed a silent sigh of relief. He wasn't going to shut her out. She still worried about that. This had to be about his mother. The loss and the injustice of it had always been with him. She saw it at times when he thought she wasn't looking. He would linger over an old photo, or his mother would come up in every day conversation. He would hesitate and move on; not wanting to dwell on what was still so painful to him. She walked over to him and took his hand, and they all sat down.
Tom and AJ looked at Jack, silently giving him the go ahead to tell the story they had kept to themselves for months. He began.
"As you know, Harm, we told you we would find out all we could about who was responsible for your mother's….the incident at Trafalgar Square."
Jack could not bring himself to say the word 'death'; saying it this way seemed to anesthetize the pain of the situation. It did for him, anyway.
"We all had our sources and now that the pieces are nearly all together we can tell you what we know. The person responsible for the bombing was Aziz Nasiri." He looked directly at Harm.
Mac knew immediately who he was. "The Holy Land Liberation Crusade? The one involved in the ZNN fiasco?"
"Yes." Jack waited for Harm to speak; he had been quiet. He was still trying to figure out why.
Harm remembered Ginny Baker, and the hatred she had expressed from the witness stand once her cover had been blown. She had used Stuart Dunston and nearly got him thrown in Leavenworth. She had played her part well. Mac's language skills had solved that case.
"Why?" Harm asked the simple question.
"The goal had been to detonate the explosives near a group of college students who were visiting from the States. MI-5 got word that something may be up in the area, so the school was notified and the tour was cancelled."
"But why allow the public there at all if that was the case?"
He still couldn't accept this; in his heart he felt something could have been done. He still felt responsible, although he knew that it was unreasonable to do so.
"The threat had been vague and the intel was not 100 reliable. They didn't even know the students were the target until after the explosion. The locals thought they needed more to shut down the area entirely."
Jack hoped the fact that Nasiri was dead would be some consolation to Harm. He knew that his old friend was still struggling with this.
"Do they have him in custody?" He wanted a chance to see him pay. Whatever the sentence was, he wanted to be there to see it handed down.
"No."
AJ and Harm were incredulous and spoke at the same time. "No?"
"He's dead," Tom said quickly.
"How?" Harm had to know. AJ leaned forward in his seat.
Jack continued. "The British authorities were getting ready to close in on Nasiri and another suspected terrorist. They were using a Muslim women's shelter as a front for their organization. MI-5 had a team waiting for him to return this morning and was going to take them both into custody. The thing was... how do I say this?" He looked at Tom.
"He got hit by a bus." Tom was deadly serious, but the irony of it was making it difficult to stay that way.
"What?" Harm couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"He was knocked off of an overpass and fell into an alley below. The fall broke his neck. He broke his third cervical vertebra and it paralyzed his diaphragm – he smothered to death." Jack looked from Harm to Tom.
Tom spoke up. "Kind of fitting, I think."
Harm stood and walked across his living room. He wasn't sure what he should feel. He thought he would be relieved, but he wasn't. He was glad to hear that there was one less terrorist in the world, but he knew there were more out there. His eyes welled with tears when he realized what he really wanted was for his mother to be alive. She was never one for revenge, but to his mind, justice had been served.
Jack finished what he knew of the story.
"Nasiri had been bringing components for putting another bomb together; the target this time is believed to have been the prime minister and our Secretary of State." Jack waited a moment. He knew Harm was having a hard time absorbing all of this.
AJ had been watching him closely. "Harm, I know this is a lot to take in at once, but we all know you too well."
He looked at Mac. "You wouldn't have been able to stay out of it. You and Mac had just begun your life together. I know that the small amount of information I gave you in December had you struggling to stay out of this. I think if you hadn't been so caught up getting Mac through her illness you would have been right in the middle of all of this."
AJ stood and walked over to Harm and folded his arms across his chest. "We just didn't want to see any more lives destroyed because of this senseless terrorist's act."
Harm looked at AJ and then back at his friends and his wife. He nodded, not wanting to speak just yet. He almost had it under control; he had nearly swallowed the lump in his throat when Tom decided it was time for a bit of levity.
"Well… we can take comfort in the fact that…there will be no 72 virgins for our friend Aziz." Tom gave him a sarcastic smile and raised his eyebrows, hoping this attempt at dark humor would fly.
Harm looked at Tom and the irony struck him immediately. The bastard got hit by a bus. No martyrdom for him, no glorious killing of perceived infidels. He got his by way of a bus. He looked at Mac and she rose to walk over toward him. He couldn't help but chuckle, and as he did huge tears began to fall from his eyes. Then he began to laugh. Mac began to laugh with him, wiping tears from her face too.
Jack stood and walked into their kitchen. "I don't suppose you have anything stronger to drink than fruit juices in here, do you?" He opened their refrigerator.
Mac joined him. "Yes, we do, but all we have left is white wine and light beer."
AJ looked at Jack and smirked. "At least it's not bourbon." He didn't care if he did sound like a scold.
Jack shivered. "It'll have to do."
He and Mac set out glasses and poured wine into all but one. Mac gave herself sparkling water. Tom, Harm and AJ joined them standing around the kitchen island. Jack lifted his glass.
"Gentlemen and Lady, a toast… to public transportation."
2220
Friday
March 11
Starbuck's
Alexandria, Virginia
Gunny and Jen were sitting at a table finishing their coffee. Jen had once again ordered for both of them.
"I still don't see the big deal. Coffee is coffee." Gunny smirked at her.
"You know you like it. It was your idea to come here tonight anyway." She smiled smugly. He liked his Venti Vanilla Breve Latte with whipped cream. He just wouldn't admit it.
"I had a good time tonight. Sturgis and Varise make a nice couple." He changed the subject.
Jen raised her brows. "They seem so different, though."
"Opposites attract sometimes, Jen." He winked at her.
She looked down, blushing slightly. "You know, the colonel asked me about us tonight."
He looked at her directly. "What did you say?"
"She asked if we were together and I said that I thought so." Jen looked at him, hoping she hadn't said too much.
He smiled at her and gave her forearm a squeeze. "Let's go."
Jen looked at him and stood. He took her coat from the back of her chair and held it for her to slip her arms in. No one she had ever dated had done that for her. The commander had, but that was different somehow.
She followed him out to the car and they rode to her apartment in silence. He would look over at her from time to time but he didn't say anything. He didn't seem angry; she couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. They had gone out twice last weekend and had a great time. He showed a bit more affection Saturday night, but was still pretty reserved compared to other men she had been out with. He acted as though he was trying so hard to be careful, not to make any mistakes in their relationship.
They arrived at her apartment. "Do you want to come up?"
"It's pretty late – your roommate might not appreciate it." The old awkwardness was starting to creep into their conversation.
"She's TAD to Norfolk this week and next week. Come on, Victor." She looked at him with that expression that could always do him in. "You know you don't want to go home yet. I know for a fact there is -nothing- in that apartment. You said yourself that you don't spend a lot of time in it."
"If you're sure…" Gunny cut the engine and took keys out of the ignition.
"I'm sure. Maybe we can find a movie we both agree on." Jen got out of the truck and started toward her apartment building.
"No chick flicks," he teased, suddenly very glad that he had taken her up on her invitation.
2330
Friday
March 11
Harm and Mac's apartment
Harm and Mac had just settled into bed. Their guests were gone and their apartment was cleared of the remnants of their party. Harm was exhausted. What a day it had been. He scooted closer to Mac and turning her onto her side pulled her snugly into his embrace. They lay in silence for a few moments, in their favorite spooning position.
Mac rested a hand on his forearm. "Harm, are you all right?"
"Yeah…I think so." He was still reeling from the news, trying to absorb it all and reconcile it with what he had come to feel about his mother's death.
Mac knew he still had some things to work out. She had been thinking, almost since they had been told the news, that they needed to get away. She turned on to her stomach and faced him. "How would you feel about taking a long weekend over the Easter holiday and going to visit your grandmother?"
Harm was silent for a moment. He did like the idea. "I haven't seen her since we got married." Harm suddenly thought of Mattie. "Do you mind if I ask Mattie too?"
"I'd love it. I've gotten pretty attached to her too."
Harm leaned in and kissed her, giving her that soft look that she loved. She saw pain there too, fresh and sharp – the kind she knew he couldn't put into words. She reached up to trace his cheekbone with the tip of her forefinger, to caress and comfort him as much as she could, without bringing all the pain to the surface.
"Mac," he said in a whisper. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly. He knew what she was doing. She finally knew him well enough to know just what he needed and he loved her for it.
Chapter 63
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Any episode up to and including 'Bridging the Gulf' may be referred to. Any spoiler floating around out there is fair game.
1930
Friday
March 25th
McMurphy's Bar and Grill
Georgetown
Mike and Faith sat at a table they were beginning to think of as theirs. It had been a long week and they were ready for the weekend. Mike was finally making good on his promise of a steak dinner if Faith went with him to Commander Turner's engagement party. They had finished their meal and were lingering over coffee. They had an ease to their relationship now. The discomfort Faith had seemed to feel at times when they were alone had disappeared. She had allowed him to pick her up this time. He had called for her on his cell phone from his car, though. He hadn't come up to the apartment.
"Did you enjoy your dinner?" He smiled at her.
"Yes, thank you. It was perfect. I think I'm getting addicted to the steaks here." If she were honest with herself she would say she was beginning to count on his company as well.
Mike looked up to see Lieutenant Vukovic walk through the door. He nodded but did not rise to greet him. He didn't trust this guy. Something about him seemed slimy; he just couldn't put his finger on it.
Faith turned around to see where he was looking. The lieutenant had already seated himself at the bar by the time she saw him. She looked back at Mike. "You really don't like him, do you?"
"I can't say that I do." He turned to look at Vukovic again. "I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I have a really bad feeling about this guy. The concerns you had in the beginning weren't unfounded." He thought of telling her about his problems with him when the lieutenant was his second chair but thought better of it.
Faith remembered their 'conversation' about him when he had first come to JAG. "Yes, I remember." She looked down into her coffee cup.
Mike looked at her, knowing what she was thinking about. "I really am sorry about that, Faith."
She looked up at him and smiled. "It's all right. It seems like a million years ago that we had that conversation about him. I was still busy giving you my bad first impression." She also knew that Michael's pride was a little wounded at the time; she had just beaten him badly in court the week before.
Mike returned her smile. "You have improved with time, Commander."
"Thank you."
"Are you ready to go?" Mike didn't want the evening to be over yet. "Why don't we walk down the block and get some dessert?"
"I really couldn't eat another bite." She waved him off.
"Well you could go with me while I have -my- dessert" He huffed, feigning irritation.
"All right, counselor, since you gave such an eloquent argument." She stood and took her coat from the hook near their table.
Mike stood and casually took her coat from her, opening it for her to slip into. He did it as though he had been doing this every day of his life. Faith didn't make more of it than it was. She thought Mike probably did that for his mother or his sisters or any female friend he happened to be out with. She was glad to be among his friends.
The gesture did not, however, go unnoticed by the lieutenant at the bar.
They left and walked the two blocks to a small bistro, where Faith watched Mike eat an unbelievably rich piece of mocha espresso cake.
2140
McMurphy's Bar and Grill
Georgetown
Faith and Mike walked past the bar, heading to Mike's car in the parking lot. The evening had been perfect. Mike had taken her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm and they walked in step. Spring was in the air. The days and nights were getting warmer. The biting cold of winter was becoming a distant memory.
"This has been fun." Faith looked up at him.
"I agree, I'm having a pretty good time too." He looked down and winked at her.
"I still can't believe you ate all of that cake as well as dinner." She shook her head slightly. "You don't look as though you have ever overeaten in your life."
He turned to her and smiled slyly. "Why, thank you, Faith."
She nudged him slightly. "You know what I mean."
"No…I don't think I do." They had reached his car but he did not open the door. He turned her to face him. "Care to explain?"
"All right, don't try giving me a hard time, Michael. It never works out for you,"
she answered, looking at him smugly.
Mike decided it was time to change the subject. "I don't want to go in. It's so nice outside." Mike had been looking around and up at the starlit sky. "It's a beautiful night." He looked at her.
"I know…" Faith felt the same way, but she was starting to get anxious about getting home. The look he was giving her made her want to invite him to her apartment or herself to his. She knew she wasn't ready for that yet.
"Faith –"
"Michael –" They both spoke at once and laughed sheepishly.
Faith began. "Michael, I did have a great time tonight. I would love to invite you to my apartment… just for coffee, mind you." She arched a brow, teasing him. "I don't want this evening to end, either. I don't know when I've had such a good time."
Mike decided to help her finish this. "You're not ready yet, I know." He wanted to ask what had happened. He wanted to help her if he could. Instead, he impulsively reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze.
Faith was touched at how patient he was with her. Suddenly it didn't seem fair to shut him out. "I just need a little more time to work on this."
"I'd like to help, Faith, if you'll let me."
She nodded in answer to his invitation. It was time she trusted someone. She stared at the pavement at her feet, trying to think of how to begin.
"Tell me what happened." Her hand still in his, he gave it a shake, trying to get her to look at him.
She looked up at him anxiously, "Let's walk – maybe that will make it easier."
Along the street there were storefronts with well lit bricked pavement for about three blocks. They started down the street with Faith walking beside him, her arms folded across her chest. Their steps on the pavement seemed loud as she screwed up her courage to start.
"I don't know where to begin." She blew out a breath she had been holding.
"You could begin with why it upset you so badly that I was in your apartment." He tried to keep his tone of voice even and not accusatory. He wanted her to trust him; it was very important to him that she did.
"I…I'm just not sure I can…Some of it was my own fault… my own problem." She looked toward the street. The shame of that night crept into her consciousness, making her want to draw into herself, even in memory.
"Then talk to me, Faith."
Faith was silent for a few moments. "Well, you know that I had…a difficult experience."
"Faith…" He was getting the generic version again.
"All right…It was a long time ago, six years or so. I developed a …crush on a man I worked with. He wasn't in my chain of command. This was at JAG San Diego. I…this is difficult."
Mike knew he could give her an out, but he had to know. He wanted to help. Faith was a great person behind that wall. He wanted her to be happy. He waited quietly for her to begin.
"I had just made lieutenant – I and three others at JAG. So we had our wetting down at…" She looked at him. "T.J's, as a matter of fact." Faith continued and seemed to lose herself in her story. Her gait slowed and it was as though she weren't talking to Mike at all.
"I had a little too much to drink and Mark asked me to dance." She smiled without humor. "I nearly fell into his arms… I must have looked like a fool…You know that dreamy naïve look someone gets when they see only what they want to see? I must have looked that way…I was so wrong about him."
Mike thought of asking her who this Mark was, but she continued before she had a chance.
"We danced…he held me close and kissed me." She touched her lips with the tips of her fingers and then remembering herself, self consciously brought her hands down and behind her back.
"I had never been kissed like that before. All I wanted was for the night to go on forever."
She paused and cleared her throat. Her voice was at a monotone. "We went to my apartment…"
Silence.
He reached for her elbow and stopped her. She looked at him with pain and what Mike thought was fear in her eyes. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" He searched her face for a clue, so that she wouldn't have to say more.
She looked down. "No, not in the way you mean."
She looked away and began again, resuming their walk. "As I said, we returned to my apartment…and we picked up where we'd left off at T.J.'s. I was still dreamily falling into whatever I thought was happening. I had never…but I thought – I thought there was something between us. He said he had noticed me and had wanted to ask me out for a long time. I was so naïve and stupid. I mistook that for lo… I was wrong."
They approached the parking lot where Mike's car was parked.
"Faith, you don't have to say more. I'm almost sorry I pushed you about this." He walked her to the passenger side of the vehicle. He didn't know who this Mark guy was, but he wanted to break him in half.
Faith leaned back against the car door. She looked up at Mike, and without saying a word, the look in her eyes told him she would continue. She reached for his arm and gave it a light touch, trying to reassure him that she would be okay. She looked away after that gesture, though, still not able to look into his eyes and speak of something so intimate.
"It started out so…perfectly. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought that he…" She was silent for a moment. "Anyway, one thing led to another and I…because I was so inexperienced…my body just didn't react as it should have."
She shivered suddenly, folding her arms across her chest. It was not from cold but from the way the situation still made her feel. Mike took off his jacket and draped it loosely around her shoulders.
"Mark was less than kind…he seemed to take it as a personal affront. He kept asking me what my problem was. He was throwing around the word 'iceberg' pretty freely. Needless to say, the evening ended quickly and by Monday it was all over JAG that Lieutenant Coleman was an 'iceberg.'"
Mike knew now that there was a lot more going on that night they were in T.J.'s than he had realized. He was gladder than ever that he had helped her put those 'ladies' in their place.
Faith looked back at him. "So…now you know. I know it was my own fault…I didn't really know this guy…I just had this dream of the person I thought he was."
Mike couldn't stand to hear her blame herself anymore. "That was –not- your fault, Faith. Don't blame yourself because this guy was an ass."
Faith nodded. "I know that with my head. In hindsight, I know I used it as an excuse to block people out of my life. I'm just not very good at interpersonal relationships."
Mike reached out to touch her arm and stroked it lightly with the palm of his hand. "I don't know about that. I think you and I are doing pretty well with our interpersonal relationship." He gave her a soft smile.
Faith looked into his eyes and to her relief saw no judgment there. She looked lower at his lips, suddenly wanting to kiss them so badly that she leaned forward slightly.
Mike was standing just inches in front of her as she leaned against the car. He reached out and gently grasped her waist with one hand and pulled her nearer to him. This time it was about them. He wasn't thinking about friendship; he just wanted to show her how special he thought she was. He tasted her lower lip then the top and opened her mouth with his own. As he deepened the kiss, his hand slipped behind her back, pulling her against him.
Faiths hands rested lightly on his chest. She was enjoying this but not giving herself over to his kiss.
He broke the kiss and looking into her eyes and whispered, "There's nothing 'cold' about you, Faith."
Suddenly Faith felt a surge of feminine power that she had never felt before. She kissed him back, and as she gave herself over to the kiss, she became the aggressor. She was holding a man in her arms that she trusted. One she knew would never hurt her.
He slipped both arms around her waist, snaking them around behind her with his hands coming to rest low on her back. She responded by pulling his body to hers tightly. She trailed her hand up his chest and around his neck. She held his mouth to hers, delving deeper, savoring his flavor. She was hungry for this feeling – the feeling of being totally lost in and connected to someone at the same time.
A low rumbling sound came from deep in his chest when she deepened the kiss. He pushed her back against the car and gave her back everything that she was giving him. He couldn't get close enough as he pulled her body up and into him.
They both seemed to remember themselves at the same time. They broke the kiss. Faith suddenly felt self-conscious and started to slip out of his embrace.
"No…just hold on…a moment." This moment had been too perfect. Mike wasn't going to let it end badly.
She gave him a questioning look.
"No backing away and hiding." Mike was still slightly short of breath.
"Mike, I…"
"Hang on, Faith…just let me…hold on." He looked at her with a sappy smile on his face. He was holding her loosely in his arms.
She looked at him and couldn't help but return the smile. "That was…"
He finished her sentence. "Very nice." He kissed her lightly on the cheek and stepped back to open the car door for her.
They didn't notice Lieutenant Vukovic standing in the shadows just outside the entrance to McMurphy's. Vukovic waited until they left the parking lot to return to his car.
He thought, 'You never know when something like this could come in handy.' He spoke aloud to himself, "Very nice indeed."
0635
Saturday
March 26th
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Harm stood on the front porch drinking his coffee. He had gotten up before anyone else just to have this moment. He loved this place. Oscar sat at his feet, standing his watch with his favorite visitor. It was still cool outside, but spring was well underway. The trees were budding and the grass was greening up. In the distance he could hear what sounded to him like a tractor. Spring was a busy time in the country; he and Mac had noticed a lot of the fields they had seen on their way in that had already been tilled and replanted.
The simple ease of this place grounded him. Mac had known he needed to come back here for a while and he already felt better just being here. It was going to be a clear day; the sun had risen giving off its blinding yellow light to the east. The sky seemed bluer and the air cleaner after the cold of winter. Harm walked down the steps and Oscar followed. He reached down to scratch him behind his ears. Eight-year old-Oscar was now a puppy again and jumped up, resting his paws on Harm's side. Harm picked up a stick and threw it, sending Oscar bounding off down the drive.
Mrs. Rabb looked out of her kitchen window. She had heard Harm get up, and had waited until he had gone outdoors to get up. She knew he needed this time. Whatever worries or concerns he had about the new baby coming, he seemed to have resolved them for the time being. She was so glad for both his and Mac's sake. Mac had come downstairs and poured herself a cup of the 'decaf' she was drinking now. Harm had made it for her before he left the house, knowing she wouldn't be far behind him.
"Good morning, Sarah." Mac stood next to her at the window. She saw Harm walking down the drive. They both knew where he was going. Mac wanted to go with him, but thought she might intrude on some quiet time Harm needed.
"Go on, Mac, he's been up and out for quite a while." Mrs. Rabb nudged her, and she started for the front door and the porch beyond it.
Harm drew in a deep breath, taking in the scent of the turned earth and the farm. He started walking down the path to the gravel driveway. He thought of his mother and father. He felt so close to them here; he could not understand why, but when he walked this drive it was almost as though he could see them both. Over the years, when he thought of his father in his everyday life, he had trouble picturing him in his mind's eye. There were times lately when he was that way about his mother as well, but when he walked here, he couldn't picture one of them without the other. The image was clear and there was no pain attached to the memory.
He heard a sound behind him and looked back toward the house, where Mac stood on the porch with her cup of coffee in hand. She was wearing jeans and one of his sweatshirts from the Seahawk. Her face was freshly scrubbed and her hair pulled back from her face. She looked about 15 years old.
"Hey, Sailor, do you mind if I tag along?" She had thought about letting him take his walk alone this morning. She decided she wanted to be with him this morning, in this place. Their lives had been so busy and complicated – she just wanted to walk with him and just be.
Harm smiled at her. "Sure, come on."
Mac sat her coffee cup on the rail of the porch and walked down the drive to him. She slipped her arm around him and tucked herself under his arm. They began to walk down the drive, automatically in step, without missing a beat. Mac thought it was as though they were one person walking down the drive.
"How long have you been up?" She looked up at him.
"About an hour." He nodded toward Oscar, who was leading the way. "Oscar and I watched the sun rise." They had walked over to the family cemetery and left the daffodils that he had brought with him on his mother's grave. Harm thought that he needed that time alone to remember her.
"I love this place." She looked around her and at the canopy of trees over them. Most of the trees had tiny green leaves sprouting, contrasting beautifully against the blue of the sky. The trees made no shade and the sun shone brightly through the branches.
"I do too. I didn't spend as much time here as I could have when I was younger, but I still feel like I did a lot of my growing up here."
Mac gave his waist a slight squeeze. "Me too." She looked up at him and gave him a knowing look.
Harm pulled her closer and kissed her temple. He was so glad to be here and to be with her. He'd had to go away to Fentress last week for his F/A-18 quals.
"You know, I'm going to have to finish my F/A-18 carrier quals between now and May, right?" He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"I know…you still miss it, don't you?"
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't." They stepped onto the path along the creek heading to Harm's favorite place.
Mac let go of his waist and took his offered hand as she followed him down the path. "I can tell."
They walked along in silence for a few moments until he came to the rock he liked to rest upon. He climbed up and held a hand out to Mac. She stepped easily up and stood next to him.
"Are you going to tell me to let go of that lifeline before it becomes a noose?"
He gave her an indulgent look, before helping her sit down. He sat down behind her, stretching both legs out on each side of her and enclosing her in the circle of his arms.
She leaned back slightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "No." She took his both of his hands in hers and wrapped them around her waist.
"So much has changed since then. We're both different people now. When I said that I think I was still afraid I'd lose you. I thought back then that it wasn't possible for us to be anything but friends. I thought if you were at JAG I could keep you in my life. A carrier and your love of flying had taken you out of my life once, and I was afraid it would happen again."
"I don't plan on carrier duty any time soon." He let go of her hands and placed both of his on her stomach. "I've got a new project in the works right now." Her low rise jeans allowed him to flatten his palm over the soft swell of the lower part of her abdomen. He felt a slight flutter under one of his hands. "Was that – ?"
Mac had felt the baby moving a few times during the past week, but always by the time Harm had his hand on her stomach the baby would still. "Yes… you finally felt it."
"She's going to be here before you know it." He pulled her tighter into his embrace with
a satisfied smile spreading slowly across his face.
"She?"
"Did I say that?" Harm had been thinking of the baby as a girl; he didn't know why.
"So…you think it's a girl?" She turned slightly so she could see his face.
"I do." He grinned sheepishly.
Mac had been thinking the same thing. She really had wanted a girl first, but with all the problems she had she would settle for healthy.
"So, Daddy… do you have a name in mind?" she teased.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do." He wasn't sure how she would feel about it. It was her baby too, after all. "Jacqueline Patricia."
She loved it. They would name their daughter for their friend and his mother. She chuckled a bit when she thought of Jack telling them on their wedding day that they could name their first born child after him. "I love it, Harm."
"Are you sure? We can talk about other names. We don't have to settle on this one so soon."
"It's perfect. I love the way it sounds when I say it. Though, you know, we could have a boy." She raised an eyebrow at him.
"I don't think so." He pulled her closer to him and felt a happiness and peace that he couldn't describe. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the scent of her soap and shampoo. "Mmm… let's just stay out here all day."
Mac turned to face him again, and he kissed her before she had a chance to speak. After a long moment she broke the kiss.
"Hey, I thought you came out here to do your serious thinking." She grinned at him mischievously.
He kissed her lightly and looked into her eyes. "I'm thinking…seriously." He began to kiss her again, but they were startled by Mattie calling them from the drive. She could see them plainly from where she stood.
"Hey, when are you two going to start acting like old married people?"
Mac laughed. "Saved by the bell."
"Grandma sent me to find you – she has breakfast ready."
"Okay." Harm sighed and backed away from Mac to stand up. He helped her stand and then climbed down the rock. He held out a hand and she let him help her down.
As Mac followed him down the path toward Mattie, she whispered so that the teen could not hear her.
"You know, Harm, I've been feeling great, but I don't think I'm up to sex in the great outdoors."
Harm stopped on the path and turned to kiss her cheek. "Come on, Mac…where is your sense of adventure?"
"Oh, go on." Mac turned him around by his arms and pushed him down the path, laughing all the way.
Harm walked up the drive with a beautiful girl he loved tucked under each arm. At that moment he felt like the luckiest man on earth.
0830
Saturday
Faith Coleman's apartment
Alexandria, Virginia
Faith stood at her kitchen sink. She had already had breakfast and been for her morning run. She felt so good this morning. She couldn't remember when she had ever felt so happy. Last night had been wonderful. Mike had brought her home and kissed her goodbye at her door. She'd been afraid he would ask to come in … it might have been okay, but he chose not to.
She still had a lot to work out; he seemed to know that without her having to say anything. She knew she had to let other people in her life, and that everything couldn't hinge on his friendship. Michael had just helped her renew her faith in human kindness. She had feelings for him. She couldn't deny it, and she didn't want to anymore. She just wasn't sure where to go from here. She had never really had a long term relationship with anyone. She didn't want to make more of it than it was, but she didn't want to let this slip away, either. Michael was already too special to her.
Time would tell, she supposed. She would just have to trust what she and Michael had as friends to work this out.
1600
Sunday
March 27
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Harm loaded the last of their things into the SUV. They had to be back and ready to go Monday morning. Mac had been able to get an extra day, but he hadn't. Mattie wanted to get back that night anyway. Two days was all she could take away from her computer and her friends. Harm hugged his grandmother.
"It was good to have you all here this weekend." She kissed his cheek and released him. She turned to hug Mattie next. "I especially enjoyed this one." She patted her back as she spoke.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here. I promise it won't be three months between visits next time."
"It's all right. I understand, Harmon. Maybe I'll come and see you next time. I could try and talk Jack into bringing me to Washington again." Mrs. Rabb had enjoyed her last visit, though it had been short.
They were all loaded in the vehicle, and Mrs. Rabb stood beside the driver's side and spoke through Harm's open window.
"Try and keep him out of trouble, Mac." She winked at Mac and gave Harm's arm a pinch, eliciting a laugh from Mac and Mattie.
Harm put the vehicle into gear and as he was driving away said to his grandmother, "Hey, I'll give Jack a call. I'm sure he would love to bring you down…as long as you don't drive."
It took Mrs. Rabb a second to register what he had said. "Oh! Harmon Rabb." He was already out of reach, though she could hear him laughing all the way down the driveway. He honked his horn as he pulled out and she waved goodbye to them all.
1000
General Creswell's office
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm and Faith had been summoned to the general's office. They both sat in front of his desk and waited as he read over a file that sat in front of him on his desk. He spoke:
"Commander Rabb, I want you to head up a JAGMAN investigation of a fire that occurred over the weekend in the family housing unit at Little Creek. There are a few complicating factors. The first one is that a Master Chief David Graham, a SEAL, was killed in that fire. Another is that this is one of the men whose picture was published in all the major newspapers interrogating a prisoner on the ground in Iraq. The last one is that the surviving spouse has asked that the lead NCIS investigator not be involved in this case."
The general extended his hand, and Harm rose and took the file from it. He sat back in his chair. Harm had heard about the pictures being published; there had been talk about suing the newspapers involved. He opened the file and read the name aloud. "Jethro Gibbs?" He looked at Faith with raised eyebrows. He just figured that this was yet another person that Gibbs had pissed off. He turned to look back at the general. "Did she say why, sir?"
"Yes, she is his first wife."
TBC