Ee! A nice long chapter to end it on!

And...I know this is stupid...but I've been hearing about people being penalised for replying to reviews, and until I find out more about that, I'm afraid I'm suspending replying to reviews. Sorry! And please don't think I don't appreciate your reviews because I do, very much!

Andy came back the next morning, to personally give Kai his eight o clock wake up call. He knocked then walked in, one hand on his growing stomach. The sight that met his eyes made him scream, and keep screaming until another five people, two guests and three staff, appeared. Kai was lying on the bed, surrounded by blood...so much blood... There was a piece of paper on his chest which said clearly 'Don't touch this blood, I have AIDS'.

It was obvious that he wasn't breathing. Obvious that he was... "He's dead..." Andy whispered. He looked away, unable to stand the sight of Kai lying there with his wrists and the sheets stained rusty red. As his eyes flickered over the desk he saw some papers lying there. Maybe...there would be a note? He went over, almost dazedly, and picked up three envolopes and a sheet of paper.

The paper read:

"If you are reading this then I'm sure that it is very apparent that I have comitted suicide. Don't touch the blood, because while I was alive I had AIDS. I have left three letters: One for Rei Kon, one for my solicitor, and one for Andy Gibson. The first two must be given to Rei Kon, who you must contact on this telephone number: 0189739064. Make sure you are calling China, and more specifically Tianjin. Andy Gibson is an employee in this hotel, please ensure that he gets his letter. When Rei arrives, and I know he will, introduce him to Andy. Andy needs to see my solicitor too, you see. I appoint Rei Kon as the executor of my Will."

Andy looked down at the note, the letters, and then across at Kai's serene features, then burst into uncontrollable tears.

Rei groaned as the phone started ringing by his ear and reached out, picking it up and grunting at whoever was on the other end. "Mr. Kon? Mr. Rei Kon?"

"Yes. What? It's one in the morning, what do you want?"

"Um...do you know a Kai Hiwatari?" Rei's heart started thudding and he swallowed. Somehow he could tell it would be bad news...

"Yes...yes I do..."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you, but...he's comitted suicide. His suicide note details you as the executor of his Will."

"B-But is he really-?"

"He's dead, yes. When our employee found him he was already dead."

"W...Where are you?"

"The Hotel Von Schmidt in Hamburg, Germany. He requested in his final note that you come and recieve a letter and meet someone."

Rei found his eyes filling with tears. "I'll be there as soon as I can..." He whispered, putting down the phone. He shook Lee awake and collapsed against him, sobbing. "Lee...he's killed himself, Lee! He's dead!"

"What?" Lee asked sleepily. Rei grabbed his shoulders and shook him, frantic.

"Kai's killed himself!" Lee's face underwent a strange transformation, from shock to disbelief to puzzlement to sadness.

"Where?"

"In...in Germany...Lee...I have to go out there...he said I have to execute his Will..."

"Oh Rei..." Lee sighed. "Come on, let's get dressed and you can go now. It's not like you'll be able to sleep..."

"Excuse me?" Rei turned enquiring. "Are you...are you that friend of Kai's?" Rei looked the inquirer up and down suspiciously.

"Who're you then?"

"I'm...I'm Andy...I...I was Kai's...I mean...he..." Andy trailed off into silence and held out the two letters intended for Rei. Rei opened the one adressed to him first.

Dear Rei,

I know you told me not to give up on myself... Well it was hard not to. I know this is going to sound riduculous but I got a guy pregnant. Andy Gibson, who should be around somewhere. If you ask I'm sure he'll tell you more, but he was part of a government project a long time ago, and basically, he got pregnant.

So there you go. I'm a father, I've got AIDS, and where does that leave me? Where I don't want to be, is the obvious answer. I never saw myself ever being in this situation, but hey, nothing's ever certain... So, well...I've killed myself. Obviously I'm not dead right now, because I'm writing this, but by the time you read it I will be dead. I've provided for Andy and my daughter in my Will, as well as for you and Lee, Tyson, Max and Kenny. I want some of my money to go to charity as well, but that's all in the other letter.

I just want to thank you for what you've done for me over the years. I'm not going to be slushy and say I remember each and every time you made me coffee or washed my clothes, but I'm grateful. If I'd taken your advice, maybe I wouldn't have come to this. You'll think I was wrong to do something like that, but...I'm so scared, Rei. And I hate it. I'm scared of touching anyone, in case I have a cut I don't notice and pass this on. I'm a father...but I'd never dare touch her. And that isn't a future I want to contemplate, to be honest.

I know I'm probably not making much sense but I just wanted you to know... I wanted my life to be on my own terms, you know I've never been a conformist, and having to live the rest of my life scared of touching things...scared of being close to people, to my own flesh and blood... I'm only glad that I got AIDS after I slept with Andy. And maybe no-one will ever tell her the truth about me and what I was like and what I did...but I can know for myself that the Hiwatari line isn't over. Yet.

I never wanted to die in a hospital. I've never been one to let anything get one over on me, life included. I'll die when I say so, not because I've caught TB or whatever. And maybe it's better for everyone this way. I left my mansion to Andy, and enough money for him to never have to work again if he doesn't want to. He never liked working here in Germany, and his family threw him out when he was younger. He can start again. And you and Lee...well I know how proud you are, but you're getting the money I left for you whether you like it or not. You can use it to pay for your wedding, and I'm sure it'll come in handy if you adopt a child. Only don't spoil them too much...

It's amazing how much you can't express in a letter. I'm crying right now, but not over the paper. I couldn't stand to be a suicidee with a tear-stained note. That's far too cliched for me, and well you know it. I've put a picture in the envolope. I always promised I'd let you see the pictures of me from when I was young, and I only had one to hand. I only kept it because it had my mother and father in it, but I'm there as well. Not that you'll probably care, of course, but still.

I...I feel like an idiot to ask this, but...don't forget me. Please. I couldn't bear to think that I just got wiped from existence with no-one to remember me and what I was like. I don't care how you remember me...remember me as the slut I am if you want to, or your surly captain, or anything... This is ridiculous. This won't matter to me when I'm dead, will it? Well, yours is the last letter, and so...I suppose in a way these are my last words.

All my life...I've never told anyone that I loved them. I was too young to understand when I was little...my parents died before I really knew what love was. I never loved my grandfather anyway, nor anyone at the abbey. I don't think I ever loved any of the people I slept with, except perhaps Andy. But only in the way anyone would love the father (mother?) of their child.

Now that I think about it...there's only ever been one person I loved. I never dated him as such, and I never declared undying love for him, but I don't think love's like that anyway. Half the time it isn't even love, it's lust. It's funny. I've told people I love them to get them in bed with me, but never meant it, and yet the one person who maybe I did love...never heard me say the words.

It's you, Rei. I love you. I say love, but I haven't loved anyone since I was oh, six? Five? I can't remember. A long time, suffice it to say. Maybe it isn't really love, but I think it's probably the closest I'll ever get. Keep it to yourself, though. I don't think Lee would be too happy to know that the only time I ever felt that purest of emotions was for his boyfriend. I'm not going to launch into a speech about how your love shone on me like the sun, or how being in love with you was like being in heaven, because it wasn't. You don't love me, and now you can't, so don't get any ideas.

Loving you wasn't like heaven because I didn't even realise it until I started wondering who I needed to leave letters for. If you're looking for a comparison, Andy got about ten lines of an apology. My solicitor got about forty of demands. I'm not keeping an exact count, but so far, and on this paper, I've written you about a hundred. So I love you. Hey, it's a new idea to me too, but I think it's always been there. That doesn't mean I want you to leave Lee, in fact I'll be incensed if you ever do.

Move away and marry Lee, adopt a child, and live the rest of your life in happiness. But I know you'll do that anyway. You always cheered me up when I was down, Rei. Lee's so lucky that he has you. Tell him that from me. Keep cheering people up, Rei. I know you're probably psycho-analyzing this letter as you read it but to be quite frank, I think you'll come to a very obvious conclusion. I'm stubborn and suicidal. Anyway, I've ranted on for long enough, so I'll go now. It's probably quite horrible for you to think that about a minute after I wrote this (write this? I keep trying to think about you reading this in the future, but at the moment I'm pretty set on the here and now) I slit my wrists with my razor and then just let myself bleed to death. I've always wondered what it felt like...but never been stupid enough to do it. Well...maybe I'm just stupid, but you know me. I can't bribe fate so I'll just remove myself from his game.

Goodbye. Good luck. And I know your proud side will tell you to give the money I leave you to charity, but don't. One, they're already getting more than enough off me, and two...I want the best for you, Rei. That's what you want for anyone you love. If there is a heaven, I want to look down and see you enjoying yourself with Lee and a child, maybe even two or three children. It isn't out of pity or charity that I'm giving you that money. It's because you're the person who means the most to me in the world and this is the only thing I can give you. Don't give away the only gift that I can give back for all those years of friendship. I know pounds and pence can never repay the things you've done for me...but that's all I have to give, Rei.

I love you,

Kai Hiwatari.

PS: My solicitor is Spanish- Mr. Domenico Fernandez, 31 Azul Lane, Madrid. Take the letter to him and he'll sort everything out. Could you take Andy with you, though? And make sure he gets to Russia okay... He might be twenty but he's naive as hell. And for what it's worth...you were a much better lay than him. That's a terribly perverted way to end a suicide letter, but you know what I'm like. I only regret not being able to sleep with every gay man in the world. Maybe I could even have converted some of the straight ones if I'd had long enough... Look at me, I'm setting myself off again...I'll shut up now. I won't waste any more of your time with pointless rubbish. Goodbye. I'll be thinking of you as I take my last breath, Rei. I love you.

By the time Rei got to the end of the letter he was in floods of tears. "Um...Rei?" Andy ventured. Rei didn't reply, just threw his arms around Andy's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. After crying bitterly for the next few minutes, he managed to control himself enough to speak. "C-Congratulations..." He managed to choke out. Andy looked down at his distended stomach and smiled softly.

"I never really knew him...but I think it's an automatic thing. He's the father of my baby, so I feel something for him...I'm not sure if it's love, but... He said in his letter that he was sorry he couldn't stay to see her grow up, but he couldn't live with knowing he had a child and being too afraid to touch her. But...what was he like?"

Rei shook his head and started to cry again. "He says we have to see his solicitor in Spain...so...we'd better get going. I can cry while we're on the train. Come on."

"E-Excuse me...but how much-?" Rei asked incredulously. The rather fat solicitor he was sitting across from looked back down at the letter.

"'To Andy Gibson, my house and the estate around it, and thirty million pounds sterling. To Rei Kon, twenty million pounds sterling and my eternal gratitude. To Tyson Granger, Max Tate and Kenny Bianco, five million pounds sterling each. That amounts in total to sixty-five million pounds sterling. The rest of my money, which should be something like ten million pounds sterling, is to be given to the International AIDS Research Association.' That's what it says. It's simple really. The money will be transferred from Mr. Hiwatari's bank account and the deeds signed over to Mr. Gibson, the account will be closed and that's it all done, basically. I'll take care of everything, don't worry."

Rei looked to Andy, who was sitting beside him with a look of absolute shock on his face. "I never knew...he had so much money...but I...th-thirty million? That can't be right, can it? Why did he leave me his house if he gave me so much money? I don't...I don't understand..." Rei put a hand on Andy's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Kai was never very good with people. He spent his time getting laid and making money. He ended up with more than his fair share of both, in the end. He was always on the edge, but when he got AIDS...I think it tipped him over. Money was all he could give, Andy. He didn't have anything else. He might have been strong and confident...but inside he was always sad." Rei sighed. "Maybe when we're done here...we could talk about him? It'll be a while before I can sort out you going to Russia, seeing as you can't fly in your condition..."

Lee ran into the hall as he heard the door opening and threw his arms around Rei, happy to have him back home. "Well? Did it go okay?"

"Lee...a lot happened...and I found out a lot...but..." Rei sighed. "I'll do it in bullet points, okay?"

Lee pulled him towards the living room and sat him down on the squashy green sofa before nodding. "Right, tell me about it all then."

"Well...Kai had AIDS, Kai went to go home, Kai went back to a hotel he'd been to before as a stopover between flights, found out that he got a guy there pregnant and killed himself. He left me a letter, and told me to take his other letter to his solicitor. He left the pregnant guy thirty million and his house, Tyson Kenny and Max five million each, and..." Rei took a deep breath. "He left me twenty million, Lee."

Lee blinked. "What did you just say?"

"He left me...well, us...twenty million. Pounds, of course..."

"Twenty -million-?"

Rei nodded, sighing. "Here...that's the letter he gave me." Rei took the envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Lee. Lee shook the letter out and a photo dropped out with it. Rei suddenly remembered what Kai had said in the letter about the picture of him when he was tounger. He picked it up and looked at it.

A tall navy-haired man was standing with his arm around a shorter, gray-haired woman, who was smiling happily, with one hand on the shoulder of a young boy... A young boy with hair that seemed to be a mixture of the two, a scruffy teddy-bear in one hand, and his thumb in his mouth. Rei was sure he couldn't be more than two or three...

As Rei was marvelling at the photo, Lee finished reading the letter. "I never knew he was so..."

"So-?"

"Perceptive. And he's right. I am lucky to have you." Rei blushed and put down the photo in order to treat Lee to a loving kiss. Lee held Rei against his chest, smiling down at him fondly. "He always did plan for the future...and I suppose it's nice to have the money to go somewhere where I can marry you..." While Lee and Rei indulged in a lot more intimate activities, the photo of young Kai and his parents stared up the ceiling, as lifeless as the people in it.

Andy looked down at the picture Rei was holding out and laughed softly. "She looks like him..."

It was two months after they'd sorted out Kai's will, and Rei had taken a trip over to Russia to see Andy and baby Sofiya. They were sitting on the parquet floor in Kai's vast living room, talking about Kai. "He had a very bad childhood. His parents were shot, and he never said anything but I think his grandfather had something to do with it..."

Andy sighed. "It's hard sometimes. Knowing that I was just a fling and that he didn't ever really love me..."

"I don't think he really knew what love was. It's like if you've never come across a word, you don't know that it exists. Well Kai never really knew love...he never understood what it was to be in love with someone." Andy sighed again and shifted Sofiya on his lap.

"I don't think I really want to stay in a house this big..."

"Move then. Kai wouldn't have minded, he never really liked it here to begin with. There were too many painful memories of his childhood. I think that was part of the reason he moved around so much..."

After a silence, Andy shrugged. "So...what are you doing now?"

"Me and Lee are moving to Canada. So we can get married." Rei smiled happily, imagining his to-be wedding day, and the to-be husband who was waiting for him back in Tianjin. While he was doing so, Andy sniffed, looking miserable.

"Do you think...if he hadn't...he would have married me?"

"No." Andy's face fell.

"I suppose you're right. I never really knew him at all..."

"No...I didn't mean it like that. Kai just never believed in gay marriage."

"But...he was gay...so why-?"

"He said he didn't want to be associated with any 'pathetic outdated Christian custom'. It was amazing how he could make the word 'Christian' seem like an insult...he was very opinionated." Andy laughed, but Rei could tell that it was forced. "I know it's hard for you..."

"It's not that...it's just...I don't know what to do any more...I don't know what to do..."

"Well you've got thirty million pounds, so that means you can do just about anything." Another forced laugh, then Andy started to cry, melting from mirth to misery. Rei slid a little way across the shiny floor and patted Andy's shoulder, clicking his tongue sympathetically. "I know it's hard... Have you got any family you could contact?" Andy shook his head and sniffed. Something about that seemed to set Sofiya off as well, and she started to wail, tiny fists jerking.

Rei sighed. It was amazing that even though Kai had left Andy his house and his millions he wasn't happy. It was almost cliched, and that was something Kai had never wanted to be. Even on the verge of suicide he'd avoided cliches like the plague...

He laid an arm around Andy's shaking shoulders, sighing himself. Looking around at the grand, imposing walls, it all seemed so pointless. Maybe it was something about the place, but Rei suddenly felt as if he was swimming in a sea of uncertainty. What would the future be like? Would everything work out okay? Somehow it didn't seem so. But then...nothing is ever certain.

Fin

Well, there you go. I'm already working on a sequal to this, focusing on Rei's life a couple of years later, so that'll be up pretty soon.

Please R&R!