Will You Always Be There?

by mkim57

This story takes Harm and Mac through Season 10 on a slightly different path.

27. Chapter 27

Will You Always Be There?

Chapter 70

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Any episode or spoiler through season 10 is fair game. There are a lot of references to 'Bridging the Gulf' and 'JAG San Diego' I have scrambled the order in which things have happened. Remember this is fanfic and I'm just playing around with the season, it's my prerogative…with a nod to Bobby Brown.

A/N: Many thanks to Aerogirl for her beta reading skills and encouragement.

A/N: I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and taken the time to let me know you enjoyed my story.

1130

Thursday

April 26th

USS John Kennedy

Harm stood on 'vulture's row' watching the F/A-18's take off from the flight deck. He had finished his quals. The last two weeks had been unbelievable. He had been able to finish his quals all right, but he hadn't been prepared for what happened somewhere in between. Sturgis's role in the whole fiasco had been the last straw with regard to their friendship. To say they had words would have been an understatement. Colonel Najjar had been right when he said 'best friends make the worst enemies.'

He had been charged with the murder of a high-ranking Iraqi government official. When he had spoken to Sturgis about it, it was as though he didn't even know him. They had nearly come to blows; if Colonel Najjar had not interrupted them, he was sure they would have. They had been able to uncover what had really happened, and he had been cleared of the murder charges.

The part of all of this that Harm could not shake was that Sturgis had been perfectly willing to charge him without doing everything he could to be sure that Harm was culpable in this case. 'By the book' Sturgis. He'd acted as if Harm had wanted him to compromise himself for his sake. That was not the case at all. He just thought that as his friend he deserved the benefit of the doubt or at the very least a more thorough investigation.

Sturgis had even thrown his acting JAG duties in his face. Yes, it had bothered him that he hadn't been considered, but he'd had more on his mind than ambition then. All he'd wanted at that time was for Mac to make it through her surgery and have a normal life.

They had spoken again before Sturgis returned to JAG, but the damage had been done. There were times he didn't think he would ever understand Sturgis. He could have lost everything he had worked for and Sturgis could only quote chapter and verse of the UCMJ. Harm was startled from his reverie by a petty officer who approached him.

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes, Petty Officer?"

"You have an emergency ship to shore call, sir."

Harm's mouth went dry; his first thought was of Mac. He hurried to answer his call.

"Harm?"

"Mac? Are you okay?" Harm had dozens of scenarios going through his mind and all of them were bad. The old fear of losing her rose to the surface immediately.

"I'm fine, honey – it's not me." Where would she begin?

"What is it?"

"Harm… Mattie has been in an accident. She was taking a flying lesson when the weather took a bad turn. Her instructor had landed the plane and they were taxiing down the runway when they collided with another plane."

Silence on the line.

"Harm?"

"I'm here. Is Tom with her?"

"Yes, we all are. Your grandmother and I came out late last night. I know I should have called right away, but I wanted to make sure you had finished your quals before I told you what was going on."

"How is she?"

"She hasn't regained consciousness yet, Harm. She is more stable than she was last night, but until she regains consciousness the doctors won't be able to assess the damage accurately. We have a neurologist on his way from Johns Hopkins. He may be able to tell us more."

At that moment Harm felt completely powerless to do anything to help the little girl he had loved like a daughter. He was glad that Mac was there for her along with his grandmother.

"I'm due out of here in the morning. The COD is supposed to be here at 0800 our time. I don't think I'll be back to Andrews until late Saturday at the earliest."

"We have it under control here, Harm. I have notified General Creswell about what is going on. He expects to hear from you ASAP. He has your preliminary reports but everything about the new ROEs was delayed due to the possibility of the charges against you. I'm sure that if you explain the circumstances he will allow you to come out here for at least a couple of days."

Harm was silent, unable to settle the thoughts in his head. He had been thinking of the resolution of a murder charge and possibly the end of a treasured friendship. Now this with Mattie…my God. How would Tom handle this? Could he stand by her in this – could he be there for her?

"Is Tom holding up all right, Mac?"

"He is understandably upset, Harm. I think he's struggling, but so far he is holding up well for Mattie." For whatever reason, Mac wanted to give Tom the benefit of the doubt. She knew that it could easily be her. She always kept the phrase 'you're only as good as your last sober day' etched into her memory. She had too much to lose now to ever be complacent in her recovery.

"Thank God." He had been happy for Mattie that she had been able to mend her relationship with her father. It had gone a long way in helping her grow into the strong young lady she had become. He hoped that he would not fail her this time.

"Are you all right, Harm?" Mac had known about the charges against him. They hadn't had the chance talk at all since he left.

"I'm okay. I just need to get back there now." He couldn't begin to put into words how he felt. He had expected to breeze through his investigation, update the ROEs and enjoy his quals. In less than a week he had expected to be back at JAG. Things had not turned out as he had planned. The last two weeks had been a near nightmare and now this.

"You will be soon, Harm. I know you're in a place were you can't really talk to me. Just know that I'm here for you and that I love you."

"Thanks, Mac...I…well, thanks." He really wished he could tell her he loved her, but he was in CIC surrounded by his subordinates and superiors. "I'll talk to you soon."

2045

Friday

April 29th

St. Vincent Hospital

Blacksburg, Virginia

Mac sat on the waiting room chair, shifting uncomfortably. "Maybe I should walk for a while." She turned to look at Mrs. Rabb.

"It might be a good idea, Mac. You've been sitting most of the day, here and at Mattie's bedside." Mrs. Rabb's brow furrowed with concern. She worried that Mac was not resting enough. She had barely slept at all since they arrived on Thursday night. She had to return to JAG on Monday morning. Mrs. Rabb planned on staying even if Harm was able to make it back to Blacksburg before Mac had to return to Washington.

Mac stood and turned again to Mrs. Rabb. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'll be fine. I just hope Tom comes back soon. I have a very bad feeling about him, Mac."

She had seen his type when she was a young girl, even before she had been 'hired out' to the Rabb family – her father's friends who frequented the bar they lived above.

All Tom had been able to do was cry and say over and over, "My little girl.' The self-pity was evident in his tone of voice. 'She's all I've got,' he had said.

It was about him, not about what Mattie was suffering or what she could suffer in the future. She would need someone who had the strength to help her through this. Tom didn't seem to her to be someone who was capable of doing that. Alcoholism was a disease, but a person who would not recognize it and treat it was the worst kind of coward, in Mrs. Rabb's opinion. They had not seen him since late last night. She had known where he was going.

Mac had nodded and then started down the hallway to the cafeteria. She thought Mrs. Rabb might be right, but she hoped not. When she had spoken to Tom on that Christmas Eve so long ago, she believed that she sensed an ability to put Mattie first in that situation. She hoped that he would be strong enough to do that once again.

As she turned to corner toward the hospital coffee shop, she saw Jen walking toward her.

"Ma'am?" Jen's voice was nearly cracking with emotion. She had gotten there as quickly as she could after she secured for the day

"Jennifer?" Mac waited for her.

"How is she?" Her eyes were huge with concern.

"There have been no changes, Jen, but she's holding her own." Mac knew that Jen had loved Mattie as a sister. This had to be affecting her deeply.

The tears that Jen had kept at bay since she heard the news were now spilling down her cheeks. Mac reached for her arm.

"Jen, she's going to come out of this." She refused to believe that Mattie would not pull through. She knew she must stay positive for Mattie's sake and that Jen would have to be too.

"I'm sorry." Jen tried to compose herself quickly. She took a handkerchief out of the pocket of her jacket and wiped her tears.

"Come on, let's go get a cup of coffee and then we can go see her."

They each got a cup of coffee and sat down.

"Was Gunny not able to get away?"

"He is accompanying Major McBurney and Lieutenant Vukovic to Iraq. He left this afternoon." Victor had been great about Jen being so preoccupied with Mattie.

Mac thought that it might be a good idea for McBurney to take the gunny; he would need someone to watch his back with Vukovic. She wondered what the general had been thinking by putting those two together so soon after their altercation in San Diego. Maybe that had been the point; you never really knew with General Creswell.

Jen and Mac returned to the waiting area just outside Mattie's room. Mrs. Rabb was standing beside Mattie's bed. They could see her speaking to Mattie. Mac stepped just inside the door. She could hear Mrs. Rabb telling her that Harm was on his way and that her father had just stepped out for a little while.

"Sarah?"

Mrs. Rabb was startled. "I'm just trying to coax Mattie back over to this side of the world." She smiled. "I think we should talk to her, as much as we can. I have always believed that patients who are in this state can hear us on some level or another."

She walked to the doorway where Mac was. She looked at Jennifer and said hello.

"I think Jen wants to see Mattie." Mac and Mrs. Rabb had been given expressed permission from Tom to be at her bedside, one at a time.

Jen spoke up. "I won't be long; I just brought her something that I thought she would like." Jen lifted her iPod so that they could see it. It had her headphones attached so that Mattie would be able to listen to her favorite music.

"Excellent. What a wonderful idea." Mrs. Rabb decided that they would just take a chance, and if the nurses said she had to stay outside they would do as they were asked.

Jen crept into the room as she exited.

"Speak to her, honey, I think it might help. Try to stay calm and keep your tone of voice even." Mrs. Rabb was giving her instructions from the doorway.

Mac looked at Mrs. Rabb and smiled. Her frame of mind had changed dramatically since they were informed of Mattie's accident. She had become totally focused on her, talking about the possible ways for her to recover, speaking of other patients she had cared for who had recovered fully and gone back to their lives. She never spoke of the negative and wouldn't let Mac even consider it.

She had said, 'There will plenty of time to consider other options. We need to stay positive for Mattie's sake.' Mrs. Rabb seemed to exude hope and it had been contagious. She had been able to lay her grief aside to help care for Mattie.

They all took a shift that evening and into the next day, speaking to Mattie and playing her favorite music.

1735 Zulu

Saturday

April 30th

Somewhere over Eastern Europe.

Gunny opened his laptop and booted it up. He decided to drop Jen an email even though he knew she wouldn't see it until she got back to work Monday. She had told him that she would be spending the weekend in Blacksburg with Mattie. She had been nearly inconsolable when she had first heard about the accident. She had eventually reined her feelings in, though, and stayed in touch as much as she could by phone with the colonel, who kept her posted on the girl's progress. Mattie had not made a lot of progress so far, though. He frowned at the thought, and he hoped that would change soon.

Lieutenant Vukovic noticed Gunny on his laptop and smirked. He hadn't thought the gunny could handle technology of any kind. He had to be almost 40 and enlisted. He wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have a cell phone. Why they hadn't insisted he retire after he had his knee surgery was beyond Vukovic.

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?" McBurney could not help but notice his expression since he was sitting across from him.

"Oh, no sir."

The last thing he needed now was to get into it with the major. He plastered an expression of fake respect across his face. He would do his penance for a while, but he knew he would get back in the general's good graces. He had volunteered to accompany Major McBurney on this case. The general had been impressed with his idea, as he had known he would be.

This would be a high profile case. A marine had been captured on film shooting an unarmed civilian in a mosque, in less than 24 hours it was being seen on every news service in the world. He would be sitting second chair on the defense team of the Marine along with the major. They would be going up against a very highly respected Marine JAG. He intended to be sure he made an impression on them all.

0630

Sunday

May 1st

Andrews Air Force Base

Langley, Virginia

The C-130 had just touched down and Harm gathered his gear, getting ready to leave the plane. It had been a long flight. He had tried to sleep but had been unable to. He had been so worried about Mattie; she had already been through so much in her lifetime. She had to come out of this. She still had so much living yet to do.

Harm looked at his watch; he could be on his way to Blacksburg in about an hour if he planned it right. He hoped Mac would call this morning. He needed to hear from her, but couldn't call her on her cell because of the hospital regulations.

He had spoken with General Creswell before he left the Kennedy. The general had told him to take all the time he needed. He was grateful; he didn't know if he would have been able to stay in Washington and at JAG if he had not been given the opportunity to be with her now.

He had hoped to be here late last night, but they had a six-hour delay in Germany. He wanted to talk to Mac but he was glad she was with Mattie, even if that made her unreachable for while. He hoped Tom was with her too.

1300

Sunday

May 1st

St Vincent's Hospital

Intensive Care Unit

Harm walked toward the nurse's station with his heart in his throat. She had to be all right – he could not lose her. He was focused on the nurse at the desk and was about to ask for Mattie's room number when Tom came out of nowhere. He was in Harm's face and smelled of alcohol so strongly that Harm drew back from him, as did the nurse standing behind the nurse's station.

"I can't find my girl…she's dead…Oh God, she's dead." He looked at the nurse. "Where the hell is she? What did you do to her?"

The nurse tried to speak but Tom refused to hear her.

"No, no, no…I know that you know …something."

His words were loud and seemed to echo off of the walls. Harm grabbed him by both arms.

"Stop it."

He couldn't stand to hear another word. It couldn't be true. The very sound of those words being spoken were so repulsive to him that he nearly lost what little he had to eat that day.

"Harm?" Mac was walking down the hallway toward him with a man he had never seen before.

Harm let go of Tom and fully turned toward her. Tom grasped the nurses' station to keep from falling down.

"Mac? Where's Mattie...She's not…"

Mac walked even more swiftly toward him.

"No, this is Tom's sponsor from AA. Chris Butler."

Tom recognized him then and nearly fell toward his sponsor. "Chris, they won't tell me – I know she's dead, my little girl, she's gone, just like her mother. I'm going to lose her too." Tom began to sob uncontrollably.

Harm could barely stand to hear him speak. He looked at Tom's sponsor.

"Get him out of here." He knew if he had to hear much more he would have thrown him out himself.

Chris looked at Mac as he braced Tom on his feet. "I'll get him sobered up. I'll be in touch." Mac nodded and watched him walk away with Tom.

"Where is she, Mac?" Harm's voice had an edge.

"Come with me. She is responding now, Harm. The neurologist from Johns Hopkins is reviewing her new CT scan as we speak. I just didn't want to say too much in front of Tom. In his state of mind he could demand to see her and I don't think either of them needs that now."

Mac took his hand and led him down the hallway and through a set of double doors labeled 'Critical Care.' They walked to the end of the hall, and as he looked into the room at the very end he saw Mattie. She was lying with her head elevated and was wide awake. Jen stood on one side of her and Mrs. Rabb stood on the other. Her face was cut and was bruised and both of her legs were in splints. She had a cast on her left arm.

Harm was so relieved that she was conscious that his knees nearly buckled. Running into Tom and hearing his worst fears spoken aloud had shaken him to the core. He stopped at the foot of her bed.

"Hey, champ." He hoped his voice would not betray his feelings at that moment.

"Hey." Her voice was barely there because of the respirator that had been in place just 24 hours before. "They just moved me down here."

Harm nodded, unable to construct a sentence in his head just now. He was so glad she was still alive, that he hadn't lost her. Mac came to his rescue.

"I found him looking for you in ICU. I got him redirected." She took his hand that he had at his side and gave it a squeeze.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah."

Mattie managed a grin. "You can kiss me hello, I don't hurt…right here." She pointed to the right side of her forehead. "No hugs, though…I'm not ready for that."

Harm walked over to her bedside and kissed the spot not bruised or cut, hoping Mattie wouldn't see the tears forming in his eyes.

Mac decided she would try and lighten the mood a bit. "You'll have to excuse Harm, Mattie. He's been on a plane for the last two days."

"That's okay, Harm; I've been kind of out of it for the past few days too." She joked back in her raspy voice, eliciting a chuckle from everyone in the room.

Mrs. Rabb thought this was a good time for them to leave Harm and Mattie alone for a moment. She looked at Mac, who seemed to understand what she was thinking.

"Mattie, I think we girls will take a break and let you and Harm catch up. We'll be back, but remember, not -too- much talking." With that Mrs. Rabb led the way out of the room.

Harm sat down beside Mattie's bed and took her hand. He gave her a soft smile.

"It's going to be okay, Mats."

"I know. Have you seen my Dad?" Mattie searched his face.

"Yeah, but he's not doing too well now, Mattie. Mac called his sponsor and he's trying to help him get…adjusted to what's going on now." Harm wouldn't say he was drunk but he knew by what he had said Mattie would figure it out. He would not lie and say he was fine. Mattie would see right through that, even in the state she was in now. He had never lied to her; he wouldn't start now.

Mattie did understand. She frowned slightly and drew a deep breath.

"I shouldn't have gone up that day."

"Hey, you can't take this on. You had no way of knowing what would happen." He gave her hand a squeeze. "You're still here, Mattie. And you're going to get better."

"Don't leave me, Harm."

"I won't. I swear it." Harm closed his other hand over their clasped hands.

1435

Sunday

May 1st

St. Vincent's hospital

Blacksburg, Virginia

Harm walked into the waiting area while Mattie slept. He saw Mac curled up uncomfortably on the sofa. She was resting her head on her hand and had apparently nodded off. He walked up to her quietly and touched her arm.

"Hey, sleepyhead." He gave her an amused smile.

Mac startled awake and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I was just coming down to check on you two." She scooted down to allow him to sit in the corner of the very uncomfortable sofa. Harm placed his arm on the back of it and pulled her close to him.

"Hello." He kissed her on her cheek and then quickly on the lips.

"Hi."

Harm leaned back enough to really look at her face. "How much sleep are you getting, anyway?"

"Thanks a lot, Harm." She smirked at him, thinking she must look awful. "Do I look that bad?"

"Stop it, Mac. You just look tired. I can worry about you, can't I?" Harm's voice was gentle but firm. He was glad she was going home tonight. "You still need to take care of yourself." He was still studying her face.

"I know. I'm going home in a couple of hours and I'll catch upon my rest then." She tucked her head under his chin and hugged him to her. She let out a satisfied sigh. It was so good to see him. These last weeks had been hell for them both.

"What about you, Harm…are you going to be okay? About Sturgis, I mean." She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him.

"Yeah, I think so. We spoke before he left on the COD. He left for the States with a witness that we used to assist in clearing me of the murder charges. A witness he should have spoken to before he decided to charge me." He shook his head slightly. "I don't know, Mac. I don't know if our friendship is going to survive this."

Mac listened and took his hand. She hoped that they would come to some type of truce in this. She and Sturgis had had their moments too, but he and Harm had been friends since they were in their first year at the Academy. She looked into his eyes.

"One thing at a time, Harm."

He leaned his dead down slightly and kissed her.

"I'm glad you're here." He reached over and placed his hand on her tummy and he was promptly thumped from the inside. "Hey." His smile beamed full force.

"She's been really active for the last couple of days. I've been a little stressed and she picked up on it right away. I don't think she's sleeping much either." She placed her hand next to Harm's on her stomach.

Harm was suddenly serious again. "Mac, I don't want you to overdo it."

"I'm not, Harm. I told you I'll rest when I get home, although I do hate leaving you again." She hugged him to her again.

"I never realized how much the work at JAG took us away from D.C. until I didn't get to go with you." She still missed working cases with him. He had truly been her best partner.

"I know."

He had missed her. He knew she would be all right alone, but he had just wanted to be with her. This last incident with Sturgis and his career in general had given him a lot of cause to do some soul searching.

The charges directed at him made him feel as though everything he had ever done in his career had meant nothing. His help had come from an Iraqi colonel. He just didn't know anymore. The only thing he did know was that he was going to see Mattie through this time in her life and build a life with Mac and their baby. Everything else, as far as he was concerned, was secondary.

1530

Monday

May 2nd

JAG headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Faith sat at her computer terminal and clicked to view her e mail. She saw right away that she had one from Michael. She opened it and read:

'Lady Sailor,

Do you miss me yet?

Michael'

Faith frowned, what was that? 'Lady Sailor?'

She smiled to herself as she thought of a response and sent it back immediately. Her reply read:

'Mister Marine'

No…not yet.

Faith'

Chapter 71

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Anything up to and including 'Death at the Mosque.' Any spoiler posted is also fair game and may be 'loosely' referred to.

1945

Thursday

May 5th

Martyrs Mosque

Karbala, Iraq

Major McBurney, Lieutenant Vukovic and Gunnery Sergeant Galindez waited outside the mosque. They were escorted by two heavily armed Marines. They had returned to the mosque to investigate their case further. Mike was surprised that the lieutenant had been so zealous in his defense of the young Marine accused in this case.

The lieutenant had studied the video tape over and over, especially after he had spoken with the ZNN reporter. Holloman had been so callous in his remarks that even Vukovic had been put off by them. He had made it clear that it was all about getting the lead story, and not the Marine being accused of murder.

The Marine's side could not be told. It might upset the folks at home to know that insurgents wired themselves with explosives, so that when they were approached by coalition troops for capture or even medical assistance when they were wounded, they could be blown away.

One of the Marine escorts had given the all clear, and he and the other Marine escort stood watch outside while the rest of the party entered the mosque cautiously. Gunny went up first and was followed by Lieutenant Vukovic. He looked the room over, trying to recreate the picture he saw in his mind's eye. On film the Iraqi who had allegedly been creeping away from PFC Smith appeared to be reaching for something on the floor, though there appeared to be nothing there. He walked to the approximate place and noticed a notch in one of the boards. He lifted the board.

"Major, I think you should see this, sir."

There within easy reach was an IED which could possibly have leveled the whole mosque, killing everyone inside. PFC Smith's actions had in fact saved the lives of everyone inside that building.

Mike walked toward the lieutenant while Gunny kept watch from one of windows of the minaret. As the major knelt to get a closer look, Gunny saw a sniper stand up from the rooftop of a nearby building. The man fired and Gunny took cover to the side of the window.

"Sniper!" Gunny saw the major take a defensive position, but the lieutenant seemed stunned. He was in the line of fire so he tackled the lieutenant, knocking him to his knees.

"Get down, sir!" Gunny shouted over multiple shots being fired at the mosque. The Marines standing guard returned fire and also took cover inside the mosque.

Within a few short moments they were able to isolate where the gunfire had come from. They were able to take one of the snipers out and the other surrendered. As Gunny and one of their Marine escorts made their way toward the insurgent who had surrendered, the lieutenant spoke to Major McBurney.

"Maybe we can learn more about what happened that night. They had to have been watching this mosque so that we wouldn't find the explosives."

"If he doesn't try to blow us to hell first, Lieutenant."

Mike's eyes never left Gunny as he assisted the younger Marine in searching their new prisoner. The lieutenant followed his eyes and noticed that the sleeve of Gunny's shirt was torn and bloody from the elbow down. The surrender was without incident and they made their way back to MEF Headquarters.

1800

Friday

May 6th

Officers Quarters

MEF Headquarters

Karbala, Iraq

Lieutenant Vukovic was stretched out on his rack when Major McBurney walked by his temporary quarters. He stepped up to his doorway.

"Lieutenant."

The lieutenant stood and came to attention.

"Stand easy."

Vukovic stood at ease.

"You did a great job with your investigation of this case, Lieutenant. You helped keep PFC Smith out of Leavenworth."

They had been able to clear him with the evidence they had been able to gather, in spite of the firefight. Their prisoner had been more cooperative than they had believed he would be as well.

"Thank you, sir," he said sincerely.

He was amazed that after all that had passed between them, the major would give him credit for anything in this case. He knew if the tables had been turned he would not have done the same.

"You may not be thanking me when I tell you what the CO 1st Marines and General Creswell have in mind for you."

"Sir?"

"They would like you accompany the Marines back into Karbala to provide ROE advice in a field environment. You are to report at 1900."

"Yes sir."

"Outside of what we saw yesterday, Lieutenant, have you ever been in combat before?"

"No sir, but I can't say I haven't been shot at. Sir, may I ask a question?"

"You may."

"Is the gunny all right?"

"Yes, Lieutenant – he just had a superficial wound to his arm. He must have incurred it during the firefight."

"Glad to hear it, sir." There didn't appear to be any guile in his voice.

"Very well. Good luck." McBurney turned and walked back to his quarters, thinking that Vukovic might understand this environment better than he thought.

1645

Friday May 6th

JAG headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Bud was closing a case file on his desk when Mac knocked on his open door.

"Have a minute, Commander?"

"Yes ma'am. Please come in." He started to stand but Mac waved him off. She closed the door behind her.

"I'd like to speak with you about something. Are you aware of the 'situation' between Harm and Sturgis?"

Bud leaned slightly forward. "Yes, ma'am."

He knew what the colonel had on her mind, and he wanted to try and put her at ease without involving himself too deeply. Somehow just now he thought that being in between those two was a bad place to be.

"Ma'am, if I may, they have been friends for a very long time. It seems to me that they have always had their differences. They'll find a way to work this out."

Mac nodded. "You seem to have been able to mend your relationship with Sturgis."

"You could say that. Professionally we get along well. I don't think you could say we were friends, ma'am. I don't think Commander Turner is comfortable with being close to anyone that he works with."

She gave him a tight smile. She knew he was right; she knew from her own experiences with Sturgis that he didn't seem comfortable knowing any of them…well.

"I hope it works out, ma'am."

Mac nodded.

"Will you be going to Blacksburg this weekend?" Bud changed the subject because this one was beginning to make -him- uncomfortable.

"Yes, I'll be leaving from here shortly. Jen is planning on coming tomorrow morning. I think she's expecting a call from Gunny tonight."

"She has been great about keeping us up to date on Mattie's progress. I'm really glad for the commander's sake as well as hers that Mattie is recovering."

Jen visited her namesake and her twin sister at least once a week.

"I am too. By the way, Harm should be back Monday. Mrs. Rabb will be staying in Blacksburg until Mattie is released."

"That's good to hear, ma'am."

Bud heaved an inward sigh of relief; with Major McBurney and Lieutenant Vukovic in Iraq he had been a bit overwhelmed this week.

Mac stood and started to leave the room. Bud stood behind his desk. He knew that he had not given her a lot of answers as far as Harm and Commander Turner were concerned, but he really didn't have them. Commander Turner had never really been an easy person to know. He respected him, but he had never had the mentoring type of relationship with him that he had with the commander and the colonel. He just hoped they would work it out before they had to oppose each other in court.

Mac turned and gave him a sad smile. "Thanks Bud."

1845

Friday

May 6th

St. Vincent's Hospital

Blacksburg, Virginia

Harm and Tom Johnson walked down the hallway toward Mattie's room. They had been able to come to an agreement on how to handle their situation in a way that would benefit Mattie most.

Over the course of the last week, Tom had been able to get sober and make some important decisions. He knew that he had not recovered enough to handle Mattie's situation at this point. He didn't think he could stand to fail her anymore. One of the best things he had ever done for her since she lost her mother was to agree to allow Harm to be her guardian. He could not give her up completely, but he would allow Harm to resume his guardianship.

For Harm's part, he was also ready to do whatever was best for Mattie. As disgusted as he had been with Tom, making an enemy of him would have hurt Mattie more than she had already been. When she had forgiven her father for the accident that had killed her mother, she truly began to be able to reach out to other people and be happy for the first time in her life. He wanted that for her, more than anything else. She needed that to be able to focus on her rehabilitation. Her level of function after she healed was still in question.

Tom looked at Harm just before they reached the door of her hospital room. "I think I need to do this alone." They stopped, and Harm nodded his understanding.

Tom walked into Mattie's room. His appearance was far better than it had been when Harm first arrived. He was still feeling hung over and very raw from coming down from his drinking binge; that was apparent from the look on his face. His face was still ruddy and eyes were swollen from crying.

"Dad?" Mattie looked at him questioningly.

"Hey, kid." He was praying for the strength to do this the right way.

"Are you okay?" Her face showed genuine concern.

"Not really, but I will be." Honesty always worked best with his daughter.

She reached for his hand and he took it.

"I messed up again, kiddo. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was." He was thanking God that she wasn't angry with him. He looked into her face and saw acceptance and not a little sadness.

"Please don't hate me, honey." He could not keep himself from pleading with her.

"I don't, Dad."

She really didn't. She had learned a lot from her Alateen meetings. When she stopped blaming herself for his alcoholism, she was able to forgive him for the times he had failed she and her mother in the past. The knowledge of that made her less angry at the whole situation. She was also secure in the knowledge that Harm would never leave her. He and Mac and Mrs. Rabb had quickly stepped in to keep the bottom from dropping out of her life.

"Just get better."

"I will, honey. I promise."

He tried to smile, hearing the promises he had made in the past to her and to her mother over and over in his head. Suddenly the room seemed crowded with only him and Mattie in it. He felt an overpowering need for a drink, a need so strong that he knew if he didn't check himself into rehab quickly he would never be able to look at Mattie in the eye again.

"I'm going to go now. I'll keep up with your progress through Harm. I'll be thinking of you… every day." He stood and backed away. He didn't want to fall apart in front of her after all he had done over the last week to disappoint her.

"I love you, baby girl."

Mattie watched him leave the room, knowing there was only a 50/50 chance that he would really check himself into rehab.

"I love you too, Dad." And with that, he was gone.

Harm walked in right after he left. "Are you okay, Mattie?"

She sighed heavily. "Yeah…I'm glad you're here." She looked up at Harm.

He took her hand. "I am too." He winked at her and tried to get her to smile.

She did, with a tear gliding down her cheek.

0230

Saturday

May 7th

Holiday Inn

Blacksburg, Virginia

Mac lay on her back next to her husband, listening to his soft snore. He had been exhausted when she arrived Friday evening. It had taken her, Mattie and Mrs. Rabb to convince him to leave the hospital and get some real sleep. He hadn't left since he arrived last weekend. He'd kept his promise to Mattie to never leave her. Mrs. Rabb had taken the room so that she and Harm could sleep in shifts, but Harm would not take one.

Mac convinced him to leave the only way she knew how. She told him that she wouldn't leave if he didn't. He couldn't stand the thought of her sleeping in one of the chairs or the sofa in the waiting room. They left the hospital about 2300.

By the time Mac had showered and walked back into the bedroom Harm was out. She padded over to the bed and took off his shoes and belt. She smiled, thinking he looked so young, lying on his back, his mouth slightly open and his limbs heavy with sleep. She had missed him so much.

The intimacy of sleeping in the same bed, the closeness that she had come to rely on, had been absent for nearly a month. She knew it was selfish to covet his time now; he was focused on Mattie, as he should be, but she missed having him to herself.

She shook her head, scolding herself for her thoughts and then covered him with the other half of the bed spread. She slipped onto the other side of the bed after getting an extra blanket from the closet for herself. She turned on her side, facing him, and watched the rise and fall of his chest until it lulled her to sleep.

The next morning...

Mac woke to the feeling of Harm brushing her hair back from her face and the smell of coffee. She opened her eyes to see him smiling at her.

"Hey." Harm had gotten up and was already dressed.

"Hey yourself." She sat up slowly and slightly stiff from their uncomfortable bed.

"I know I smell coffee."

Harm got up from the side of the bed and took one of the coffee cups that he had just brought in for them and handed it to her. "I thought you could use some, even if it is decaf."

"I'm almost used to it." In truth she hated it, but it was better than nothing. Decaf did have a small amount of caffeine, didn't it? She smiled at him and took a sip. "Not bad."

"Thanks, I made it myself," he teased. "We'd better get going. I want to be there for Mattie's PT session this morning. She only gets one today. She should be getting started in about an hour." He offered his hand. "Come on, Marine, let's get moving."

Mac took it and let him help her up. She was just beginning to feel awkward with her growing belly. She was almost self-conscious. She stood and quickly went to get her kit and got ready to leave. As she dressed to go, she took a look at herself in the mirror. It seemed in the past week or so her stomach had gotten so much larger. She had never been out of shape in her life. Even though Mac exercised and was not overweight at all, the changes in her body were beginning to make her feel uncomfortable. Harm was being as sweet as ever, but this was the first time in a long time that he had woken her up with just a cup of coffee. Coffee usually came…after.

Harm walked up behind Mac and saw her studying her thickening waist intently, her brow furrowing with what Harm mistook as pain. "Are you okay, Mac?"

Mac was startled. "Oh, I'm fine." She immediately felt silly for what she had been thinking. She knew Harm loved her and she was carrying the evidence that he wanted her. Hormones, that's what this was. "Let's go."

1040

Sunday

May 8th

Baghdad International Airport

Baghdad, Iraq

Major Mike McBurney and Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez both settled into their seats, waiting for the plane to taxi down the run way. Lieutenant Vukovic would be staying on for a brief TAD with the 1st Marines.

Mike leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to sort out all that had happened in the last 48 hours. Vukovic had volunteered to stay – had really asked to be allowed to stay. He had made a good impression on the commanding general and the prosecutor in this case, Major Atkins. He would be TAD at least six weeks until the permanent JAG field officer could be installed. When he had spoken to General Creswell about it he did not seem surprised. It was as though this had been the plan all along.

Vukovic had come to his quarters last night and asked to speak with him. He still wasn't sure how to take what he had said. He had apologized for his behavior in San Diego. He had taken responsibility for his part of their –disagreement-.

Mike had asked him, "Why all the innuendo with regard to Commander Coleman and even the case we were trying?"

"I have no excuse, sir." He didn't have one. He had taken an instant dislike of the major. He had wanted what McBurney had, the respect of his peers and his subordinates – something he knew he didn't have, and he hated him for it.

"Why the change of heart, Lieutenant?"

"A number of things, sir. Some are hard to explain."

"Give it a try, Lieutenant." The major still wasn't sure he wasn't trying to play him.

"Well...sir, the respect and trust our client put in us, his willingness to lay down his life to protect me or anyone else. He is only 19 years old. You don't want to know what I was like at 19." The lieutenant caught his informality. "Sorry, sir."

"Go on."

"Sir, being here, seeing our job for what it really is … I just think I want to do what I can to make their jobs easier, I mean for the Marines here on the ground. They are the ones putting it on the line."

"You put it on the line this week too, Lieutenant."

Vukovic nodded. "Yes sir. We all did."

Mike raised his brows, thinking 'humility?' Maybe Vukovic did learn something after all. Faith would love this.

He was startled from his thoughts as the plane began to pick up speed and take off.

Mike looked across the aisle at Gunny, who was looking out of the window of the plane.

"Doing okay, Gunny?"

"Oh, yes sir." He smiled. He was ready to go home. He felt their near miss more keenly this time than he had before. The thought that he might not get home to Jen had occurred to him for the first time. The plane could not get him back to her fast enough.

0700

Monday

May 9th

Harm and Mac's Apartment

North of Union Station

Mac stood in front of the full length mirror in their bedroom. She buttoned the jacket of her uniform. It was getting almost too tight. She would have to get another or have this one altered. She could hear Harm humming to himself as he shaved in the bathroom. She sighed. They had come in late last night and had both fallen into bed.

She was still feeling a little off-balance and self-conscious about her body. Harm's preoccupation with Mattie and the fact that they had spent most of the last week apart meant that they hadn't really had a chance to make love since he returned from the Kennedy. As she looked at herself in the mirror she started to wonder if it wasn't because she was getting so huge that Harm was put off by her.

Harm had stepped into the room and she saw his reflection in the mirror standing behind her.

"Honey, what is it?" Mac looked so upset. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She stepped away from the mirror and down the steps into the living room. "Are you ready?"

Harm stood at the top of steps, looking so fit and handsome in his summer whites. Mac looked down at her swollen tummy and then looked away. Pregnant or not, looking at him like that still made her weak in the knees.

"Something is wrong. Mac, talk to me." Harm walked over to her and turned her toward him. He tipped her chin up so that she had to look at him.

"What is it?" The love and sincerity in his blue-green gaze nearly melted her heart.

Mac didn't want to tell him; she felt so childish suddenly, but she had no choice.

"Oh…I look like a hand grenade!" She tugged her chin away from his and stepped away from him. She hadn't meant to say it quite that way, but there it was.

"What?" Harm had to try hard not to laugh out loud. "Hand grenade?" He hadn't been able to keep the chuckle out of his voice.

"It's not funny." This was getting worse by the minute. She sounded like a big baby, even to herself.

Harm walked up to her and pulled her into his arms. "Honey, I'm sorry." He was still laughing, though – he couldn't help it.

She pretended to punch him in the chest. "Jerk."

"What's making you feel like that? I think you look beautiful." He leaned back and looked at her, giving her one of his most charming smiles.

"I know I'm being silly, I'm sorry too. I just feel so awkward. And I…I've missed you. I've missed us." She looked at his lips and then into his eyes.

He had been preoccupied with Mattie, but he had missed her too – she hadn't been aware of how much. He looked at her intently. "You're not thinking I don't want you, are you?"

Mac looked away from him, still too embarrassed to admit what she had been feeling.

"That could not be further from the truth." He turned her face to his and kissed her softly on the lips. Mac deepened the kiss and Harm pulled her into his arms. As she slipped her arms around his neck her internal clock told her that if they did not leave for work now they would be late.

"We should go." She broke the kiss but kept him close to her.

"I know." He looked at her and kissed her quickly and started to loosen his hold on her.

"So I don't look like a hand grenade?" She looked up at him questioningly.

Harm laughed again in spite of himself. "Don't say that."

"I do, don't I?" What a choice of words – she would never live that one down.

"No, it just sounds funny."

"Right…Let's go…we'll be late."

She picked up her cover and briefcase from the dining room table and Harm followed still laughing. 'Hand grenade' – he would have to remember that one.

TBC