Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 72/75
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or person living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to and through 'Dream Team' and any spoiler floating around out there may be 'loosely' referred to.
Many thanks to Tracy who was kind enough to beta read for me while Aerogirl was unavailable. Thank you!
2130
Wednesday
May 11th
Reagan International Airport.
Washington D.C.
Major Mike McBurney and Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez made their way down the concourse toward baggage claim. They had flown commercial from Germany with a layover long enough to get some chow and a shower. The airport was less busy this late in the evening; both men were far away in their thoughts. Gunny was trying to decide whether he should call Jen this late. Mike just wanted to get home and get back to JAG tomorrow. Faith wouldn't believe the turn around that Vukovic seemed to be experiencing. Time would tell though. Mike was also ready to try a case in a courtroom instead of a tent, for awhile anyway.
Jen and Gunny's relationship had grown considerably in the last couple of months but still there was no real commitment made. Gunny still didn't know how he felt about that. He knew he cared for her deeply, he loved her, but that was something he hadn't said to anyone in a long time and he wasn't sure he was ready to start now. As they approached the escalator they looked down to the lower level and saw Jen with her arms folded across her chest looking for them.
She smiled at Gunny.
"Hello."
She wasn't sure how he would feel about this. She had gotten their itinerary as a matter of course at work, so she knew their flight numbers and what time they would be in. She just didn't want to wait until tomorrow to see Victor. She had missed him. She looked at the major and quickly.
"Hello, sir."
"Petty Officer Coates." Mike nodded toward her; he could feel the tension in the air kick up a notch when Gunny saw Jen waiting for them. He felt like an intruder suddenly and walked swiftly ahead of them toward baggage claim.
Jen and Gunny followed, hanging back just enough not be overheard.
"I hope you don't mind. I know I could have waited until tomorrow."
Gunny answered quickly "No...Dont worry about it"
He had almost sounded short with her. Jen quickly looked up at him, the question still in her eyes. Gunny answered in the most even tone he could muster.
'It's okay Jen."
He just wanted to get the major on his way to their government-issue vehicle so that he could be away from him and alone with Jen. He kept her at arm's length, not trusting himself to stand too closely. He thought he must be getting soft in his old age because he was having a hell of a time keeping his hands off of her.
Mike had gotten his sea bag from baggage claim and had started back toward Jen and Gunny.
"Will you be taking Gunny back to his car Coates?" Gunny had left his car behind at JAG.
'Yes sir, if that is all right?" She knew it would be, she asked as a courtesy.
"That's fine." He walked past them and started for the shuttle to take him to the parking lot. "See you in the morning."
"Yes sir" they both said in unison.
Gunny continued to walk toward the baggage claim and picked up his sea bag. He turned and walked past Jen.
"Where are you parked?" He just wanted to get somewhere that he could at least hold her without embarrassing himself.
"Victor?" Jen stopped and looked at him. "Are you mad at me for coming here tonight?"
"No."
He had said it almost too loudly. He stopped and turned back to look at her. She was standing there giving him that look that made his heart squeeze in his chest. It was her eyes that got him every time. He was lost from the time he had first really looked into them.
He had been talking to her about her 'friend' Pia and also about her friendship with Commander Rabb. Now he saw sincerity, apprehension and innocence and if, he were honest, he hoped he saw love in her eyes. All of her emotions seemed to reflect in them and made him want to know more. She had seemed to him world-wise and naive all at the same time.
"I know I should have probably…" Jen stopped speaking because Gunny put his sea bag down and was walking toward her with a look that, if Jen hadn't really known him, would have frightened her. His brow was drawn into a frown and his eyes shone with an intensity that nearly took her breath away.
Gunny couldn't take it anymore, he finally didn't care who saw him. He pulled her into a tight embrace and said,
"No…Jen…I'm glad you're here."
His voice was a hoarse whisper, full of barely contained passion as he spoke into her ear. He pulled back and looked at her directly in the eyes for a second before he kissed her. He had always been very private about things like that. He had always given the younger Marines in his units a hard time in the past when their girlfriends showed up right after a deployment. He'd lecture them about 'exercising control.' He smiled at the thought as he broke the kiss.
"What are you smiling about?" Jen kissed him again, lightly, and he looked into her eyes again.
"What have you done to me Jen?" Gunny thought that the old-fashioned word would be 'smitten.'
"Something good, I hope." She waggled her eyebrows slightly.
"Yeah…it could be" He picked up his sea bag with one hand and circled his other arm around Jen's waist as they started out to the parking lot.
2210
Same evening
Capital Beltway
Washington D.C.
Mike pushed the button on his speed dial and a familiar voice answered.
"Coleman." It had been her cell phone number that he called so Faith assumed the call was work related.
"Is this Commander Faith Coleman?" He said with laughter in his voice
"Michael." She recognized it right away.
He wondered why it was so endearing for Faith to say his given name, his proper name. He had always hated it when his mother had.
"Hey, just thought I'd let you know I was back. I didn't wake you did I?"
"No, you didn't. I know I don't have much of a social life, but I do stay up past 2300. On rare occasions I even stay up till midnight," she teased.
She had missed him and it was great to hear his voice.
"I don't know Faith…you're becoming a real woman of the world."
"Hey, don't let it get around. I have a reputation to maintain. How did it go with Vukovic? I was a bit concerned that he was accompanying you."
"It went better than I expected. It's a long story. Why don't we talk about it over dinner tomorrow night? I'll get you caught up on my week and you can get me up to speed with what's going on at JAG."
"You –are- going to buy me a steak…right?"
It had been awhile since they had had dinner together. She couldn't call this one a pay back for a case won, or lost.
"McMurphy's?"
"Sounds good." McMurphy's was fast becoming their place.
"I guess I have to resort to bribery to get you to tell me what's going on. I'm coming up on my exit, so I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He was giving her an out, so she wouldn't see their dinner as a date. He just wanted to see her and spend some time with her, away from JAG. He wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression.
"Okay, bye"
Mike ended the call and headed off of the Beltway toward his apartment. It was really strange, now that he and Faith had become closer; he felt the need to connect with her in order to feel at home. He didn't really know where their relationship was going. He just knew he was glad they had it, whatever it was.
1400
Friday
May 13th
St. Vincent Hospital
Blacksburg, Virginia
Mrs. Rabb observed the PT session from across the room. Mattie was sitting in her wheel chair on one end of the parallel bars, resting. Her therapist today was someone she had never seen before but so far she had not made a very good impression.
She seemed young, apparently fresh out of school. Mrs. Rabb had seen her type more times than she cared to remember. She appeared to be very much in love with her authority and the sound of her own voice. Mrs. Rabb caught Mattie's eye and looking back she gave her a slightly bewildered look. This had been a tough session today. Mattie was having more pain because she was going from IV pain meds to oral medication. She had been nauseated and had trouble following the therapist's directions.
The therapist for her part seemed to be doing what Mrs. Rabb termed 'over instruction.' Mattie had a mild head injury, multiple fractures and was having difficulty processing instructions. Mattie was becoming overwhelmed. An experienced therapist would have known that. She approached Mattie and spoke to her too loudly. It made her flinch and made everyone in the PT department look at her. Mattie told her that she wasn't feeling well and that she wanted to return to her room. The therapist chided her, not taking her complaint seriously. She told her they would try one more time, again speaking very loudly, causing a look of near panic on Mattie's face.
Mrs. Rabb stood and walked over to the parallel bars and placed her hand on Mattie's arm to silently reassure her. She looked at the young therapist.
"I think we'd better get her back to her room. She doesn't seem to be feeling very well."
"Are you a family member ma'am?" The therapist spoke with condescension.
"My grandson is her guardian and I am assisting in with her care in his absence." Mrs. Rabb stood a bit straighter, folding her arms across her chest.
"Well, if she doesn't start making progress we're going to have to transfer her to a nursing facility. Her insurance coverage is minimal as it is and if we don't document more progress soon, she'll have to be discharged."
Mattie's face went from white to red with embarrassment.
Mrs. Rabb had finally had enough.
"Young woman, I want to speak with your supervisor. If that person is not available, I will speak with your department head."
"I'm sorry ma'am. You just don't understand how these things work." The young woman smiled smugly.
"I understand very well how these things work. I was a physical therapist for over 40 years. This session is over."
Mrs. Rabb ducked down and came up inside the parallel bars. She situated Mattie's legs carefully on the foot pedals and leg plates and then unlocked her chair. She slowly eased her back and turned her around and took her out of the PT department. As she went she read the name of the department head. She stopped at the reception area. She told the receptionist to tell Ms Porter that she expected to hear from her within the hour, and if she did not that she would take her problem to hospital administration.
Mrs. Rabb wheeled Mattie to the elevators and pushed the button for her floor. Mattie began to cry silently, her face was still burning with embarrassment and hot tears were running down her cheeks.
"Mrs. Rabb, they can't put me in a nursing home can they? I don't want to go there."
The very thought terrified her. She thought that she had been making great progress. Her other therapists had seemed pleased with what she had been able to do so far. She certainly didn't like the one she had today.
"No one is going to make you go anywhere. You have Harmon and Mac." She leaned down and looked at Mattie more closely. "You have me too."
Mattie smiled through her tears. "You're pretty tough sometimes, aren't you?"
"Yes, for an old lady, I have to admit, I am."
She laughed and gave Mattie's shoulder a slight squeeze. Mrs. Rabb was laughing but she was also very angry at the way she had just seen Mattie embarrassed. There was no excuse for it and she intended to see that something was done about it.
1930
Friday
May 13th
Harm and Mac's apartment
Mac sat back in her rocking chair and closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms lightly around her growing belly and thought of rocking her baby in this chair. The chair had been delivered just half an hour before. Mac had hurried home to make sure she didn't miss the delivery man. She and Harm had gone to work in separate cars today because he thought he might have to stay longer. Harm and Bud were working a case together and looked like it would be a late night. Harm would be going to Blacksburg in the morning. He had talked her into staying home; he had been worried that sitting all those hours at the hospital might not be good for her or the baby. She had already done enough of that as far as he was concerned.
The chair was larger than a regular rocking chair. It was the largest one she had ever seen, the perfect size for Harm to rock their baby in. She placed her hands on the arms of the chair and smiled. He could rock HER in this chair it was so big. It was made of a warm brown walnut wood and polished to a satin finish. She imagined handing it down for their daughter to rock her children in. If it was a Rabb rocking chair, it would have to be Rabb size; she thought as she laughed softly and caressed her stomach unaware of her actions. It certainly didn't match anything in this room but she didn't care, she knew Harm would love it.
Mac heard his keys in the lock and she turned to look at him as he opened the door. She hadn't turned any lights on yet and the only light in the room had been from the setting sun.
"Hey, what are you doing sitting here in the dark?"
He flipped on the small lamp by the window. He stopped and took in the sight of her in her in the largest rocking chair he had ever seen.
"Hey sailor, what do you think?" She raised her eyebrows in question.
"What's this?" He put his cover and briefcase on the dining room table.
"I bought myself a Mother's Day present last weekend. They just delivered it an hour ago." She grinned at him mischievously and began to rock it slightly.
"Now, that's a rocking chair." He had his hands on his hips and walked around it. His brow was furrowed but he was grinning from ear to ear.
"No Harm, this is a Rabb rocking chair." She stood up. "Come sit down, I want to see if it fits." She reached for his hand, gave it a tug and stood, allowing him to sit down.
Harm sat down and scooted back in the seat. It did fit him perfectly with room to spare. He could rest his head on the back of the chair and his forearms rested easily on the arms of the chair.
Mac stood back and gazed at him, she could almost see him in her mind's eye, holding their baby in his arms and smiling down at her.
"What are you thinking about Mac?"
She walked toward him. "I'm thinking about what you'll look like rocking our baby in this chair."
He reached for her hand and pulled her into his lap. "Come here."
"I was just thinking that you could rock me in this thing. So…do you like it?" She knew he did, she just wanted to hear him say it.
"I do." He had a thought suddenly. "It's the perfect chair to rock my little 'hand grenade' in." He waggled his eyebrows and winked at her.
"Oh! Not funny!" she pinched his side. "I knew I never should have said that. I'll never live that one down."
Harm was laughing so much that he couldn't answer her at first. "Come on Mac…I hardly ever get one over on you."
"You are enjoying this entirely too much." She turned in his arms and looked at him. He was still laughing, looking happier and more like himself than he had in a long time. Mattie's accident had taken its toll on him but since she had regained consciousness he had begun to look and act his old self. She touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers and kissed him. She couldn't resist that smile anymore, she didn't want to.
"Mmmm if this is what I get for teasing you then I'm going to have to do it more often."
He kissed her lightly and then put one arm under her knees and the other around her back. "Let's move this conversation into the other room." He lifted her in his arms as he stood to walk toward their bedroom.
"Harm, I'm too heavy." She held onto him tightly around his neck but tried to bring her legs down.
"You're fine, Mac"
He walked to the steps and then pretended to wobble slightly. "Gee Mac…I don't know."
"Hey!" She tapped him on the back with her fist.
Harm laughed and walked up the steps. "Hey, stop it, I might drop you. I wouldn't want you to explode"
"You just wait Harmon Rabb. After I have this baby, you are in so much trouble." She was laughing right along with him.
"Looking forward to it Mac." He lay her down easily on the bed. "Now…where were we?" He said as he followed her down on the bed.
1035
Saturday
May 14th
St. Vincent's Hospital
Blacksburg, Virginia
Harm made his way up the hallway toward Mattie's room. He could see Mattie carefully standing with the help of a nurse and his grandmother. She was able to fully bear her weight on both feet but it was very painful. She had fractured 3 ribs and a fracture of her left femur that had required wiring and pinning. The fracture to her left wrist had made functioning as difficult as anything. She still needed some assistance with her balance as well. Harm slowed his pace allowing them to finish their task before his entrance to the room distracted them. Once they got her comfortably into bed, he continued into the room.
"Good morning, ladies." Harm walked into the room focusing on Mattie.
"Hi" she said wearily. She had just finished her only PT session that day and she was tired and was in quite a bit of pain.
Mrs. Rabb spoke up. "We just got back from her therapy session." She gave Mattie a reassuring look. "She did very well today. She is out of the parallel bars and she walked 30 feet today." Mattie had to use a platform walker, since using her left arm on crutches was out of the question. Mrs. Rabb was sure she would only need a cane by the time she went home.
"Mattie, that's great." Harm looked at her trying to catch her eye, but she was looking at his grandmother rather sleepily. "Are you all right kiddo?"
"Just tired" She looked at him and tried to smile.
"She just had her pain medicine about 20 minutes ago. It can make her pretty drowsy."
The nurse straightened her blanket on the bed and placed her call light within her reach.
"Sorry Harm." Mattie had been looking forward to seeing him all week and now she was too tired to talk to him.
"It's okay kiddo. I'll be here when you wake up." He came closer to the side of her bed. He took her right hand and gave it a squeeze.
After Mattie fell asleep Harm and Mrs. Rabb walked down the hallway to the coffee shop.
"I got a phone call last night from a Ms. Porter. She is the head of the PT department here at the hospital. Do you know anything about that?" Harm gave her a sidelong glance.
"I might." Mrs. Rabb set her jaw and looked at him. She had spoken with the department head later yesterday afternoon. Ms Porter had not defended the younger therapist's behavior but she hadn't really agreed with Mrs. Rabb's interruption of Mattie's therapy session either. They had agreed that that particular therapist would not be treating Mattie anymore.
They walked to a table and Harm pulled out a chair for his grandmother to be seated. "I think you ruffled a few feathers yesterday Grandma."
"Good." She said it smugly. She believed she was right and no one would convince her otherwise.
"What happened?" Harm tried not sound accusing; he just wanted to hear his grandmother's side of this story.
Mrs. Rabb told him about what had happened the day before and about its effect on Mattie. She also told him about the difference in Mattie's progress today with a more competent therapist compared to yesterday with the other therapist. She looked at him directly.
"This is something I know about Harmon. We are in a window of opportunity here. Mattie's progress at this point is crucial and if she is discouraged she will not make progress as she should. She needs to heal on so many levels."
"Speaking of progress, we may have a problem in another week or so."
"Insurance?" Mrs. Rabb had known it would be a factor...
"Apparently with Grace Aviation just getting off the ground Tom was only able to afford minimal coverage for them to begin with. She only has another week of hospitalization left and then she will need to be released to my care and home therapy as soon as it can be arranged." Harm had no idea how they were going to manage this.
"Let her come home with me Harm." Mrs. Rabb knew she could take care of her. She also knew that Mattie would make a great deal of progress if she was allowed to. "I know I can get her back on her feet."
This was a lot to ask and Harm wasn't sure his grandmother was up to something this physical. Mattie was still a lot of work. "I don't know Grandma."
"I do. I won't be on my own Harmon. Sam and Kathie O'Reilly will be there if I need any help. I think she will be fine. She will have to be supervised by a practicing therapist but she won't need as many visits since she is with me. You know yourself that it is one of the best places to heal." She smiled at him. She was winning and she knew it.
Harm was being convinced, he should have known better. "I'll see what I can arrange."
"Great, I'll talk to Kathie and Sam .I still have some connections of my own. Let me see what I can do first. They are looking after a few things for me at the farm while I'm here; I know they'd love to help with Mattie."
1645
Thursday
May 19th
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac lay back on the exam table, her body draped except for her abdomen. She and Harm were waiting for the ultrasound tech to come into the room. Harm sat on a stool next to the table
"I can't wait to see her." Harm's face seemed to be lit with happiness. His expression was so sweet that Mac reached to touch his face. He took her hand and kissed it and placed it back on his cheek.
"Harm, remember, it may not be a girl. I know we've been saying 'she' all the time, but you never know."
She didn't want him to be disappointed. Imagine, Harm wanting a girl instead of another Rabb in his own image.
"It's a girl Mac." He said it with certainty.
The ultrasound tech came into the room, closely followed by Captain Fletcher and also Captain Morrison.
Harm stood "Sir" and turned toward the newly promoted Captain Fletcher "Ma'am."
Captain Morrison wanted to be sure that Mac was making good progress and that there were no reoccurrences. He was still very concerned about the colonel. Harm was glad was he was there. Worry about Mac still nagged at him. He wanted as many reassurances that he could get that Mac was continuing to recover from her surgery and the disease that threatened to take her away from him.
"Shall we get started?" Capt Morrison said and the tech began.
Harm took Mac's hand and leaned forward to get a better look at the monitor. The screen was dark at first and then slowly white grainy shadows came into view. Harm and Mac then saw a straight well developed backbone and then the baby turned.
"Do you want to know the baby's sex?" Captain Fletcher asked.
"Yes, please." They spoke at the same time.
"It's a girl."
Mac and Harm looked at each other and Harm could only chuckle softly under his breath. Then the baby seemed to look up and directly at them. Harm and Mac both drew in their breath sharply.
"Oh….hello" Mac automatically reached for the screen.
"There she is Mac. That's our girl." He kissed the back of her hand that he had been holding since this had begun. They could hear her heartbeat steady and strong. The joy rose up in him so quickly that he wanted to laugh out loud.
"Everything looks good so far." Captain Fletcher stood closer to the ultrasound tech and took the sound head from her. "Let's have a more thorough look." The tech stepped back out of the way. She brought the ultrasound head down to the side of Mac's abdomen where she had had her surgery last fall. She slowly moved the sound head so that she could inspect the area where her ovary had been removed. She moved to the other side looking thoroughly at the right side. Harm looked at Captain Morrison who was watching the ultrasound intently. He tried to discern what he was thinking, but the captain's face gave away nothing.
"How does she look?" Harm couldn't keep himself from asking.
Captain Morrison gave Captain Fletcher an acquiescing nod and she began.
"The baby looks very good. She is positioned well and appears to be gaining weight right on schedule. I would say you are easily into your 28th week."
She smiled at both Mac and Harm and then looked at Captain Morrison.
He began. "As you know Colonel, your blood work has been good and outside of the episode you had with pain at your incision site a couple of months ago, you are doing well. I am however a bit concerned with the amount of scar tissue forming on your left side. Your adjustment of your workout routine seems to have gotten your pain under control. Have you had any other problems with pain?"
"I have it occasionally, not always with exercise. I just assumed it was because my stomach was getting larger."
Harm looked quickly at Mac. She had never mentioned it.
The Captain gave her an assessing look. "Can you describe the pain?"
"It stings sometimes at my incision and then other times it begins there and seems to spread across my lower stomach." Mac placed her hands low on her abdomen, suddenly a bit self conscious.
"Can you show me?"
Mac silently pointed out the area of her occasional discomfort. "I just thought it was normal." Mac suddenly felt the need to defend herself.
"Scar tissue is normal after surgery Colonel; we just have to monitor yours closely because of your pregnancy, with the surgical site being so close to the baby."
Harm's radar was on full alert. He thought Captain Morrison was being guarded in what he said. He wanted to be sure he got the whole story. "Do you have any other concerns Captain?"
"None that I haven't expressed before." He looked at Harm directly.
Mac decided to ask a question, she was beginning to feel like she was being discussed like she wasn't there. "Is Doctor Ahrens still of the opinion that my tumor was of a rare type. Not the type of cancer we feared initially?"
"Yes" His expression still gave away nothing.
Harm asked. "You don't agree with him do you?" He wanted a direct answer.
"I will restate what I said before. I will monitor your wife as I would any patient I treated for ovarian cancer. I will follow her progress and the research along with Dr Ahrens. Either way your wife is assured the maximum amount of care we can give her."
He was good; Harm had to give him that. He would not disagree with his colleague in the presence of a patient. Harm had a feeling though that he did disagree, he could not explain it, it was just a feeling he had.
"I'm doing well so far, isn't that right Captain?" Mac could feel the fear rising up in Harm. She wanted him redirected immediately. She was fine, their baby was fine and that was that.
"Yes Colonel, you are progressing well, but you have to understand that the extreme hormonal shifts that happen in preparation for delivery and also the shifts thereafter, will need be closely monitored. We have to assure that the tumor doesn't return during these times."
"What about her pain?" Harm didn't like the fact that Captain Morrison had shown concern about it and that Mac had never mentioned it.
"That is a concern. I think she may need to modify her exercise schedule again. She may do light floor exercises but any vigorous exercise is out of the question."
Mac felt left out of the conversation again. "What about swimming?" She had to have some kind of cardio or she would be as big as a house.
Captain Fletcher answered her. "Within reason Colonel. I would also like to start seeing you every two weeks and if you have a prolonged reoccurrence of pain, I want to see you immediately"
"Understood."
Harm stood as Captains Fletcher and Morrison started to leave the room. "Sir, Ma'am"
Harm considered Captain Fletcher's promotion. Harm didn't think that he wouldn't even look into whether or not he had made captain, he didn't expect it. With all that had happened in the last two years, he felt he was lucky to still have a career in the Navy at all.
Mac started to wipe the ultrasound gel from her stomach with a towel and Harm came over and took over the task. He touched lightly on her incision site. "Does this hurt?' He looked worried and Mac thought, a little afraid for her.
"Honey, its fine." She tried to give him a reassuring smile. It was. She hadn't had pain like that in a week or so. She placed her hand over his. "Don't worry."
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" His brow furrowed with concern.
"Because I didn't want you to overreact. You had enough on your mind with Mattie and trying to keep up at JAG. You heard Captain Morrison, they are going to watch me closely, and scar tissue is normal after surgery, Harm."
Harm nodded and remained quiet. He was glad he had come with her, he needed this reality check. Mac was doing well, but they both needed to be reminded that the possibility of a reoccurrence was out there. Their lives had been so busy and full of so many things that it had been easy to put the worry of this on the back burner. Mac wouldn't be out of the woods completely for a long time.
Mac dressed quickly and as she started to open the door the ultra sound tech came in carrying a manila envelope. "Excuse me ma'am, I didn't think you would want to leave without this."
Mac took the envelope. She opened it and pulled the picture out facing up. It was their daughter looking right at them and suddenly the fear they both felt fled and joy replaced it. They would be alright. They had to be.
Chapter 73/75
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Any episode through Season Ten. Any spoiler floating around out there may also be loosely referred to. The events surrounding 'Fair Winds and Following Seas' will be referred to but as usual they will be in different order and affect different people.
1135
Sunday
May 22nd
Interstate 76 West
Somewhere in Pennsylvania
Harm and Mrs. Rabb drove toward the farm in companionable silence. Mattie had dropped off to sleep an hour before. Harm had tried to make the back seat as comfortable as he could for her. Her leg was propped with pillows as well as the rest of her body, trying to prevent any jarring of her ribs.
They had not spoken about much of anything besides Mattie since this whole ordeal had begun. There was something that Mrs. Rabb had been concerned about for some time. She had been aware of the strain on Harm and Sturgis's friend ship as a result of the incident that had happened during his last deployment. She and Mac had discussed it in general terms, but they had both been so focused on Mattie that they hadn't talked about it again.
"Harmon, do you mind if I ask you about something?" She looked straight ahead, seeming to be watching the road along with him.
"Sure Grandma, anything." He took his eyes off of the road for just a moment.
"I haven't even had time to ask about how things are for you at JAG since you returned from your last deployment."
Harm knew where she was going with this. "It's been all right." He looked at her, knowing she meant to ask about how he and Sturgis were getting along.
"We're fine with each other, Grandma." They were being the professionals they were, but they did not act like friends, not anymore.
Mrs. Rabb studied her grandson, knowing the whole situation still troubled him a great deal. His expression was still guarded; he still didn't want to talk about it.
She had always had a soft place in her heart for Sturgis. When she first met him he had impressed her right away. He was such a nice young man, even more serious than Harmon, if that was possible. She understood why Harm felt betrayed; she couldn't say she fully understood why Sturgis hadn't at least given Harm the benefit of the doubt. Now that Harm had been able to clear himself, she hated to see them end their friendship badly.
She remembered a conversation she'd had with Sturgis's father when he and Sturgis had come to stay at her home for Harm and Mac's wedding, Christmas Eve. He had shared his concern for his son with her; she understood that this past year had been a difficult one for Sturgis. Over the years she and Chaplain Turner had become friends and she had appreciated his confidences. Between the two of them they had been able to keep close tabs on both young men as they came up through the Academy and their careers.
"Grandma?" Harm noticed the faraway look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Harmon, I just got lost in thought. I'm still thinking about you and Sturgis." She reached over and patted his arm. "I think I understand how you feel, son, and I think it speaks well of both of you that you can put that terrible incident behind you and perform your duties as professionals. I just hope you can salvage something of your friendship. It would be a shame if you couldn't, after all these years."
"We'll be fine." He tried to reassure her and decided it was time to change the subject.
They talked about Mattie and her scheduled PT evaluation tomorrow. Mrs. Rabb had been able to help arrange home PT and OT for her. She knew Mattie had a long way to go before she was independent and that the first week would probably be the most difficult. She was excited, though, for Mattie's sake; she had seen a lot of progress in the past week, all she needed now was the time to heal… and a good therapist.
0830
Monday
May 23rd
JAG headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm sat at the conference table with the rest of the staff, waiting for General Creswell.
The door of the conference room swung open.
"Attention on deck." Harm brought them to attention.
"At ease and be seated." The general did not sit down at his place at the head of the conference table. He appeared more excited and animated than he had ever been in their presence.
"We will table our regular order of business. The SecNav is standing up a new unit, the Joint Legal Services Center. It will be comprised of Navy and Marine lawyers in the field under one command." He turned toward Sturgis.
"Commander Turner, you have been selected for command of that unit. Joint Legal Services Southwest." He handed him his orders. "You will be headquartered in San Diego."
Harm looked at him, genuinely glad for him but with the old feeling of being passed over still niggling in the back of his mind. He knew that topping out at commander was the best he could hope for given all that had happened in the past two years. He assumed he would finish up his career here at JAG HQ and that would be the end of it.
"Thank you, sir." Sturgis was stunned. Harm thought it was kind of funny to see him speechless. I guess 'by the book' pays after all, he thought.
Sturgis and Harm looked at each other. There wasn't a smile exchanged, but the look held no animosity. Their expressions were almost those of interested observers.
"Congratulations, Sturgis." Harm gave a nod in his direction.
"Thank you."
"Congratulations are also in order for you, Commander."
"Sir?" 'Now what?' he thought.
"Your new duty station will be in London, Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces Europe." The general handed Harm the folder holding his transfer orders. "I hope you like Yorkshire pudding."
"This is a captain's billet, sir." Harm looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"It is indeed, Commander. The O-6 board just reported out—frocking has been authorized. Congratulations, Captain Rabb."
"Thank you, sir." Harm's mind was reeling; he'd never expected to be promoted. He had made no plans to ever leave the area. He had strongly considered retiring at 20 this summer and beginning a new life with Mac, Mattie and their new baby.
"That will be all." The general dismissed the rest of the staff.
Bud looked at Harm and smiled at him warmly. "Congratulations, sir."
"Thanks Bud." Harm still couldn't believe it.
The general looked at Harm and Sturgis. "You are authorized to choose your staff; no one is off limits."
Both officers said, "Thank you, sir."
The general left the room. Harm and Sturgis eyed each other for a moment and then Sturgis decided to break the ice.
"Congratulations, Captain." He seemed sincere.
"Thanks, Sturgis – I almost believe you meant that."
"I do, Harm. I wish you well, I really do." Sturgis knew they were different people than the two young men who became friends at the Academy. Whatever happened in the future, he did not want to leave their friendship at a bitter end.
Harm extended his hand to shake his. As they shook hands, he said, "This is unbelievable; you were as qualified as I was."
"Not according to the promotion board." Sturgis grinned sheepishly.
"Your time will come," Harm assured him.
"No doubt about that. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get married next month and assume that new command."
This was the first real adjustment Varese would have to make as a military wife; hopefully she would understand and take it in her stride.
"That's right, and I've got a few things to take care of as well."
Mac, Mattie…What the hell was he going to do? Harm followed Sturgis out of the conference room to make a quick call to Mac, who was not due in court until 1000. How would she react to this? It seemed to him that ever since he had promised to always be there for her, he hadn't been able to be there at all.
"Good luck to you, Harm." Sturgis turned back to look at him, smiling.
"You too, Sturgis." Harm turned into his office and closed the door behind him.
1145
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm sat on the stone bench out on the grounds of JAG headquarters, waiting for Mac to meet him for lunch. His mind was still reeling from what he had learned this morning. He knew he should be happier about this than he was, but all he could think of was how this would affect Mac and Mattie. He had nearly talked himself out of the new billet and promotion. Too much was happening and they needed him.
Mac walked toward Harm. She could see that even from this distance that he was very troubled by something. She approached him, and he was so deep in thought that her touch on his arm startled him.
"Harm, what is it?"
Harm stood and helped his wife sit down on the bench. Mac searched his face for some hint of what could be on his mind.
"I got some news today that I never expected."
Mac waited for the rest of the story.
"It looks like I made captain after all." He looked at her from beneath his cover.
"Harm, that's wonderful." She reached to squeeze his arm and quickly placed her hand back in her lap. They were in public and both in uniform.
"You might not think so when I tell you the rest. I have been assigned to Naval Forces Europe as Force Judge Advocate."
Now it was Mac's turn to be stunned. She looked at him, trying to take it all in "When do you have to report?"
"I have one week; that includes travel time." He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. "Mac, if you think this is a bad idea or that it will be a problem for us, just tell me."
"Are you kidding?" Mac was incredulous; yes, she was surprised, shocked even, but she hadn't even considered that she wouldn't want him to take it.
"What about you and what am I going to do about Mattie?"
"Wait a minute, I will be fine and don't you mean what are we going to do about Mattie?" She leaned in a bit closer as she brought her voice down.
"I took on that responsibility, Mac." He looked away from her, not wanting to see her reaction just now. This was going to be a problem. He was already beginning to feel that it wasn't worth it to take the promotion and turn both their lives upside down.
"Excuse me? Don't you think that since we are married that she is as much my responsibility now as she is yours?"
"You don't have to take that on; you have enough to deal with." He meant to make this as easy for her as he could. He wanted to see her happy – he wanted everything for her. "Mac, I'm not spending the next three years away from you and our baby."
Mac was beginning to get irritated. "Now listen to me: the last time I checked my name was Sarah Rabb and that makes everything that is yours, mine, including all your responsibilities."
"Mac, I just don't want to put too much on you." He still remembered the feelings Mac's last doctor's appointment brought to the surface. His fear of losing her was still strong.
"I think I can handle it." She placed her hand over his for a moment. "I think it's your turn to trust me."
He looked at her, remembering their conversation last fall, when he had asked her if she trusted him and she had. It was the beginning of the road that had brought them together, the one that made them a committed couple. He looked at her, trying to push away the guilt he was already starting to feel.
Mac seemed to read his mind and began her argument. "Harm, we have three months 'till the baby is due. I can manage myself and Mattie. I don't think I could stand it if I thought you turned this down on my account. Your grandmother and I will get Mattie up to speed by the time the baby comes. Maybe you could get some leave time around the time she's due. There has to be a way to work this out."
"What about you, Mac? I don't want to leave you again, not now." He made small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.
"You know as well as I do that our jobs don't always allow us to do what is convenient. I've been thinking for a long time about what I want to do once the baby comes – this just brings the discussion and the decisions to the forefront."
Harm gave her that soft look that belonged only to her. "You're amazing." In the midst of what seemed to be their lives turning upside down, she was calm and matter of fact. This was the Mac he knew and loved, the one who could come up with a dispassionate plan in an impossible situation.
A slow smile spread across her face as she decided to agree with him. "Yes…I am. Now, it looks like we have a lot to arrange. Let's grab some lunch and then maybe by this evening we can formulate a plan that works for all of us."
She smiled at him, releasing his hand and carefully coming up to her feet. Her stomach chose that particular moment to growl audibly.
"Hey, was that you?" Harm turned to look at her quickly.
"Yes, if you must know. Now move your ass, Sailor, I'm hungry." She touched the top of her stomach lightly and laughed with him in spite of herself.
At that same moment...
Bud stood in his office, looking out the window watching his mentors and two of his oldest friends. Turning down the commander's officer of a position with him at Naval Forces Europe had been one of the hardest decisions he had ever made. He would have loved to have gone to Europe, and he valued his friendship with both the commander and the colonel. He knew though, that this was not what was best for his family. He didn't really think it would be best for him in the long run.
During the last couple of years he had begun to feel more confident in his own right as an attorney and officer. He would never forget what both Harm and Mac had done for him, and he didn't intend to leave their friendship behind. He just knew that he was carving out his own niche here at JAG. He got on well with the general and felt he could advance his career very well from Headquarters JAG. He hoped the commander understood.
When he saw them both stand up and walk toward the building, they appeared to be laughing. They both seemed to be very happy, in spite of everything. They would be all right, and they could always count on him to be there for them if they needed him. A knock on his door pulled him from his reverie.
"Commander Roberts, you have a call on line four." Petty Officer Coates stood in the doorway.
"Thank you, Petty Officer." He smiled at her and reached for the phone. "That will be all."
"Yes sir." Jen turned and walked toward her desk.
"Commander Roberts," Bud said in his most commanding voice.
"Bud?" Master Chief Bud Roberts was making his weekly call. He and Bud had begun to try in earnest to mend their relationship. They had agreed to speak once a week as their schedules allowed. The conversations weren't always long and had been difficult in the beginning. But both men felt they had a vested interest in making this first step work, and so far it had.
"Dad?" Bud walked around his desk and closed the door to his office. "How are things in Georgia?" Big Bud had decided to go back into the Navy after all. It proved to be making him happier and was fulfilling more purpose in his life than he ever thought it would. Bud's mother would have gotten a kick out of that.
"Oh well… you know how it is, son. Same shit, different day." Bud had learned his father's code for contentment. Counseling had gone a long way in helping him mend this relationship. Though his father could have used the counseling too, Bud decided they would take one step at a time. It seemed to be working so far.
"Oh, I'm sure you've got it under control, Dad," Bud said laughingly, moving smoothly to the next subject, Big Bud's grandchildren.
1530
Faith Coleman's office
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Faith sat behind her desk, listening to her friend and colleague ask her opinion of his taking Captain Rabb's offer to join him at Naval Forces Europe in London. She hadn't even considered that when she heard the general's announcement this morning that this would mean Michael's transfer too. Her defenses went up immediately. He would be a fool not to take this opportunity, but she did not want to lose the closeness she had come to rely on with him. He had become her dearest friend and so much more to her than he knew.
"It's an excellent opportunity, Michael." She tried to keep any emotion at all from her voice, fearing that if she gave one inch in this that she would beg him not to take the position and make a fool of herself.
"I know it is, Faith, but I want to know how you feel about it." He could literally see her shutting herself off from him.
"If I were offered the position, Michael, I would take it." She looked down at the file she had opened on her desk, not reading it at all.
He looked up at her quickly, surprised by her answer. They weren't officially a couple, but there was an unspoken understanding between them. It was something stronger than he had ever had with any woman. She could read him like no one else and he believed he knew her better than anyone as well. He sat back, watching her, considering her answer.
"Okay." He continued to look at her, waiting for the real Faith to make her appearance. The one he knew was hiding behind that wall.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I have to get going with this case." She picked up a file folder. "The SecNav wants to expedite an NCIS investigation of a recipient to the Silver Star. He is implicated in a murder that happened prior to his deployment. I want to speak with the lead investigator before the end of the day…so if you'll excuse me."
Her voice began to take on that detached and mechanical quality that she used when he first met her.
'Go, Michael,' she thought, 'get out of here before I lose my composure completely.'
Michael felt as though he had the wind knocked out of him. She acted as if they were no more than acquaintances, just colleagues who shared cases. He stood and continued to study her face, and she remained guarded, revealing nothing. He turned and walked out of her office. Faith stood, picked up her briefcase and cover then quickly left the bullpen. She got into the elevator and turned. She was facing forward and refused to look toward JAG ops. She knew Michael was watching; she didn't trust herself to look his way.
In less than three minutes she was in her car and backing out of her parking place. Tears were flowing down her face unchecked. She could keep a tight rein on her expression but the tears could not be held back any longer. At least she was alone, she thought. She did not know that Petty Officer Coates had seen her get into her car and was close enough to see her reaction to Michael's possible transfer to London. She had hand carried some documents to the Pentagon for the general and was returning when she saw Commander Coleman leaving; she hadn't even seen her as she passed her in the parking lot.
1730
Monday
May 23rd
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Mattie sat on the couch with her left leg propped with pillows, exhausted. This had been harder than she thought it was going to be. She figured that having PT at home would be easier, but it hadn't been. Her physical therapist and Mrs. Rabb and thought up all kinds of little challenges for Mattie to work on during her PT treatment. Mattie shuddered to think about how her Occupational Therapy would go. Mrs. Rabb knew this therapist well too, so who knew what they had cooked up for her tomorrow.
It had been an adjustment just having to navigate in a home environment instead of the hospital. She had been feeling pretty good about how well she had been walking until she arrived here yesterday and tried to walk on uneven pavement or gravel, which was a joke. It was a far cry from the nice flat, shiny hallways in the hospital.
Mrs. Rabb called to her, pulling her from her thoughts.
"Are you okay, honey?" Mattie had been pretty quiet for the last couple of hours.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. I didn't know you could be such a slave driver." She gave Mrs. Rabb a mischievous grin.
"It will get easier, Mattie." She came to stand beside her and pushed her hair back from her forehead. "Are you having a lot of pain?"
"No, it's not too bad."
Mattie couldn't believe how many things had happened today. She'd had her evaluation that morning. Harm had called that afternoon and told her about his new orders to London. She and Mrs. Rabb had repeated her exercises for the afternoon. She still had trouble grasping how quickly things were moving. She didn't really know how she felt about all this. One month ago she was with her Dad, taking flying lessons, very close to getting her pilot's license – and now she was contemplating living half a world away from everyone she had ever known besides Harm. She knew she could trust Harm and she could count on both him and Mac to be there for her. It was just a lot to digest.
"Mattie?"
"I'm just thinking... things are happening so fast." Mattie felt a rush of emotion from seemingly nowhere. Tears stung her nose and eyes.
"I know, honey, but remember, you have time and you have a lot of people who want to help you get through this. It's going to be all right."
She picked up a pillow from the end of the couch and elevated Mattie's leg, helping settle her more comfortably on the couch.
"Just rest for a moment and I'll see what I can scare up for supper."
1814
Same day
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm placed a cardboard box of some of his personal effects from his office into the back seat of his Lexus. He turned to look up at the building that was Headquarters JAG. He had spent a decade of his life here. He could easily say that his experience here had changed his life, in more ways than one. It was painful to think that he would not be a part of this place in one week's time, yet he had felt himself pulling away for sometime now. It was as though he could literally feel his life changing, taking a turn into the unknown. He knew it was time for him to move on – that was part of military life – but another part of him had this unreasoning desire to remain a part of what was so familiar to him.
Since he returned from his 'tenure' with the Company and especially since General Creswell had come aboard, JAG had felt less and less like home. The general was a good CO, but the camaraderie was not there. He and AJ had had their moments but they had connected on another level. He knew he could call on him at any time and he would be there for him or Mac. In fact, Harm was counting on being able to do just that where Mac was concerned. AJ knew how to check up on Mac without making her feel that she was being hovered over. The admiral had always managed her better than he ever could. He smiled at the thought.
"Penny for your thoughts, Sailor." Mac walked toward him across the parking lot.
"I was just looking back for a moment." He gave her a sheepish grin; there was no way he would share what he had just been thinking.
She smiled sympathetically and touched his arm lightly.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah, let's go home. We have a lot to talk about." Harm opened the door on the passenger side of the vehicle and helped Mac ease into the seat. He helped her adjust the seat belt and leaned in a stole a quick kiss.
2000
Gunny's apartment
Alexandria, Virginia
Gunny sat on his sofa, flipping the remote to his television. He wasn't even paying any attention to what was on. His mind was a million miles away. He was remembering the conversation he had overheard earlier that day. He had heard Commander Turner ask Jen if she wanted to accompany him and Lieutenant Vukovic to San Diego.
He hadn't been asked by Captain Rabb or Commander Turner. He was relieved, because though he admired both officers, he really did like being at Headquarters. He liked General Creswell's command style; he understood it and felt comfortable with it. Jen hadn't seen him pass by and he hadn't heard her answer.
He wanted her to stay where he was, but what right did he have to ask her to stay, since he had made no commitment. He hadn't been able to tell her he loved her. Now, if he told her, it would seem as if he was only saying it to keep her from doing what she wanted to do.
He got up from the couch and started to slowly pace the room, still deep in thought. He didn't really know how she felt about anything. She hadn't said those three little words to him either. He was making all kinds of assumptions that he didn't have the right to make. Maybe it was better that he hadn't told her how he felt; maybe he should just let her go now. That way she wouldn't feel obligated to him. He still didn't know what she saw in him. She'd probably be relieved if he just gave her an out. They could always be friends, get together when one or the other of them was in town. The more he thought about it the more the thought was physically painful to him. He was in love with her; this wasn't a relationship of convenience.
They had made plans for a late dinner there tonight. Jen was needed at JAG Ops later than usual that night. There was a lot to arrange; it was as though JAG was being split in half. The doorbell pulled him from his reverie. He got up to answer it, and then checked his security lens, and it was Jen.
He opened the door, and the moment he saw her and she launched herself into his arms, he knew that there was no way he could break this off with her. If it happened, she would have to do it. He loved the very sight of her.
"Hello." She leaned back and smiled at him. She gave him a smacking kiss and bounced out of his arms.
"What's for dinner?" She began to look around the kitchen, seeing nothing on the stove or counter.
"Oh...I...forgot."
He had been so preoccupied with what Jen might decide to do that he hadn't even ordered anything. He straightened his back and dug his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked away from her, trying to decide how to begin. 'By the way, Jen, I was eavesdropping on your conversation with Commander Turner and…' That would go over just great, he thought wryly.
She turned to look at him resting her hand on her hip. "What's on your mind, Marine?"
She grinned at him, but she knew something was wrong – he had been acting peculiar since this afternoon. He had been avoiding her gaze and then he slipped out of the office without even saying goodbye.
Gunny turned away from her and went into his kitchen. "What do you want for dinner?"
"Pizza is okay – why don't I order it? You still haven't answered my question, Victor."
She wasn't going to let this go. She was learning that most of the time Victor needed a nudge to open up and talk to her. Something was really wrong and he was going to tell her what it was before the night was over.
"I know." He walked out of the kitchen and stood in front of her. He folded his arms across his chest and kept his gaze on the floor. He didn't want to look in her eyes, not yet. They were lethal as far as he was concerned. He had gotten through his 38 years without making a fool of himself over a woman and he wasn't going to start now. He had to know, though. He had to know if she felt the way he did. It was only three little words, so what was the big deal? He was a Marine, after all. First he had to ask the question…and he would… in a minute.
"Pretty surprising this morning at staff call, wasn't it?" He looked up, now assessing her reaction.
"Yes, it's unbelievable. I'm happy for the captain, though. I'll miss him and the colonel, but they've been at JAG for a long time."
"He and Commander Turner are choosing staff from JAG Ops." Gunny's gaze was still steady on her.
"Are you leaving, Victor?" She hadn't even considered that he might go.
It gave him a secret thrill that she seemed genuinely concerned that he might leave.
"No, I'm glad that I didn't have to decide. It would have been tough, and besides, I like it at Headquarters."
This was about her, then, and she could not keep from smiling. She looked at him and saw for the first time the look in his eyes. He thought she was leaving. He couldn't ask her, but that was exactly what it was. She reached over and rested her hand on his folded arms.
"I'm not going, Victor." She kissed his cheek softly and looked into his eyes.
Gunny let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and reached out to pull her into his arms. "Jen." She could feel his heart hammering against his chest.
"Commander Turner asked me, but I don't really want to leave. I like it at Headquarters too. I like being near the Roberts and my namesake." She leaned back and looked at him. "And I love being near you." She kissed him quickly. "I love you, Victor."
Gunny barely let her finish the sentence before he took her mouth with a deep and soul-wrenching kiss. All he could think was 'Thank God' over and over again in his head. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. Here goes nothing. "I love you too, Jen."
2230
Harm and Mac's apartment
North of Union Station
Harm lay on his side, looking at his wife. She sat up on propped pillows behind her back. Her hair was gathered up from her neck in a clasp and she was wrapped in the cream colored sheet, the perfect accent to her skin tone. The color of the sheets made her eyes and hair more striking in contrast as well. She looked beautiful, like a portrait to him. The warm yellow light illuminated her features perfectly. Despite all the teasing he had done lately, Mac made a lovely picture resting her hand lightly on her rounded stomach. Harm wanted to freeze this moment in time and keep it forever. He wanted to preserve it so that when ever he missed her he could take out the memory and relive the contentment he felt lying here with her, talking about their future.
Mac for her part was feeling better than she had in a long time. She almost felt as though she had a new mission now. She was going to do her job, take care of herself and the baby and manage Mattie's care with the help of Mrs. Rabb. She was going to be there for Harm and watch him step up into something she was so proud to see him achieve. She wanted as much for him as he did for her. Mac wanted to show a different strength, one she had learned over the course of the past year, and this was her opportunity to do it.
"What are you thinking about?" Mac looked down at Harm, questioning.
"I'm thinking about how beautiful you are and about how much I'm going to miss you."
Harm bent his elbow and rested his head on his hand.
"I'm going to miss you too." She reached over and rested her hand on his bicep. "I need to talk to you about what I'm thinking, okay?"
"Okay, you talk, I'll listen." He winked at her. "As long as I get an opportunity for rebuttal."
"I've been thinking for a long time about my options, what I want to do as far as my career was concerned once the baby arrives. I don't want to give up my career, but I am seriously considering reserving my commission for a year after the baby comes. I love being a Marine, it's as much a part of me as you are, but this baby is a gift neither of us ever expected. I want to be able to give it my full attention."
In truth, she had listened carefully when Captain Morrison repeated his concerns. She was going to do everything within her power to get this baby into the world healthy and whole. She was also going to do everything she could to live to raise her.
"I really want to make this baby my priority now. After the baby comes and Mattie is on her feet, then I can divide my attention to include my career. Now… I just don't think I want to."
Harm couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew how much the baby meant to her, but as far as reserving her commission, he never in a million years thought she would do that. He reached for her hand where it rested on his arm and kissed it.
"It's never going to be uncomplicated…is it?" He rested her palm on his cheek.
She smiled at him indulgently. "Probably not."
TBC