Will You Always Be There?
Chapter 74
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG or NCIS characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or person living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Any episode through season 10 on JAG and 'Hometown Hero' on NCIS.
A/N: Many thanks to Aerogirl for her beta reading skills and to Cajonchik for her 'tech support'.
0630
Friday
May 27th
Rock Creek Park
Washington D.C.
Faith Coleman was finishing her run in very good time this morning when she noticed that someone was standing near her vehicle. She looked with more scrutiny and realized that it was Special Agent Gibbs from NCIS. Their communication this week had been strained at best. She understood and even admired his determination to leave no stone unturned where Petty Officer Dobbs was concerned, but right now he was doing a very good job of irritating her.
"Good morning." He smiled; it was an expression she hadn't seen on his face since she met him. There was also something more in his expression that she couldn't quite put her finger on.
Faith didn't like the idea that he knew she would be running this morning. She also wasn't happy about the fact that he was sitting on the bumper of her vehicle. She walked toward him and gestured for him to move out of the way. When she opened the back hatch of her SUV, Gibbs looked at her organized trunk with towels, brushes and everything she would need to get organized when she finished her run. She was about to ask him what the hell he was doing there when he handed her a cup of coffee. She took it, and as she took a drink, she saw a familiar vehicle across the park.
It was Michael; he had known she would be running this morning. He had been trying to catch up with her since Monday and she had taken every opportunity to avoid him. This case, among others, had kept her busy. She would be glad when this was resolved once and for all. She didn't like dealing with Gibbs and she certainly didn't like dealing with the SecNav.
Mike recognized Gibbs right away, and before he even took the keys out of the ignition, he reconsidered trying to talk to her now. It would be too awkward. He knew that her case entailed working with Special Agent Gibbs, but he was surprised to see him with her after her run. Mike and Faith had met there and had run together a couple of weekend mornings. Right now he didn't like the idea of this at all. What the hell was he doing there, anyway?
Faith seemed to recognize him just as he drove away. Good – somehow he was glad that she had seen him. He knew he had no right to say anything…but Gibbs? Surely she wasn't going to go out with him. He and Gibbs had gotten along well in the past, but right now he couldn't remember one thing about him that he liked... It was pretty damn presumptuous of him to show up like that anyway. As he turned he saw them both sit on the tailgate of her vehicle. It occurred to him then that there would be no more opportunities to be together like that for them in the everyday. No casual dinners or walks in Georgetown, no meeting to talk over a case. He was losing something that he never knew how much he valued: Faith's time and her friendship.
As he drove back toward JAG, he began to think about some way to hang on to their friendship even if he had to go to London. There had to be a way. They weren't ready for a commitment, but he didn't want to lose her, either.
2010
Friday
May 27th
McMurphy's Bar and Grille
Georgetown
Harm stood leaning against the bar with Mac securely tucked into his arms. In less than 24 hours he would be on his way to London. He still couldn't believe this was it. Bud and Harriet had joined them. He was disappointed that Bud had decided to stay at Headquarters JAG but he understood.
"I hope you understand, sir." Bud reached for Harriet's hand and she gave him a reassuring smile.
"I do, Bud." He looked across the bar as Mike McBurney walked toward him. "McBurney has decided to join me at Naval Forces Europe. You never know, Bud; we may be working together again someday."
Mike stepped up to the group feeling slightly uncomfortable in this informal setting. "Think you're up to the task, Mike?"
"Yes sir – I mean, Harm." Mike really didn't like using his first name. It just didn't seem right.
Bud laughed and said, "Don't worry about it; I still call him 'sir' too."
Just as Mike was beginning to relax a bit, all heads turned when Faith walked into the bar. 'Great,' Mike thought; she'd picked tonight to wear something soft, flirty and feminine. She wore a sleeveless dress in a warm shade of brown that wrapped at her waist and came to rest just above her knees, drawing his eyes to her beautiful legs. The color accentuated her hair and eyes and made her skin look satiny and touchable. Mike swallowed hard and tried not to stare.
She looked directly at Mike and he fell silent. She stepped up to the group and they exchanged pleasantries. When Mike and Faith spoke, the air was thick with tension. Faith turned toward Bud to discuss setting up possible plea agreement for five petty officers caught in a fencing scam. She decided keeping the conversation about work might drop the tension level. Computer equipment valued in the tens of thousands of dollars had been stolen. The petty officers were minor players in the scam and they had cooperated with NCIS in providing information about the main players. The mention of NCIS ensured that her plan to drop the tension level didn't work out quite as she thought.
Mike spoke up before he could stop himself. "You have a direct source now at NCIS?" He had said it more sharply than he had intended.
Faith looked quickly in his direction. "No, I don't."
Mike felt angry at her and at himself. Everyone there had to know his irritation had nothing to do with the case and everything to do with Faith.
"Excuse me." He felt embarrassed and exposed.
Across the bar at that same moment…
AJ Chegwidden and Tom Boone were watching the younger attorneys from their side of the room. AJ shook his head slightly.
"Kinda makes you feel like a dinosaur, doesn't it?"
Tom followed his gaze. "Nah, they can have it. Would you really want to go through all of the BS we went through in our thirties and forties?"
AJ gave it some thought and laughed. "Hell no." He picked up his beer for a toast. "Here's to us and those like us."
Both men said as they toasted, "Damn few left."
A booming voice coming from across the bar drew their attention. "Hey, I heard they were serving 25 cent beers tonight…is that true?" Jack Keeter walked into the bar toward his oldest friend, Harm.
"Keeter!" Harm greeted him.
Mac looked at both men with an amused grin. It seemed to her that a small part of each of them became 20 years old and full of themselves as soon as they saw each other. She could see the mischievous glint in both their eyes. They must have been a pair. She didn't envy any of their professors, or commanding officers for that matter.
"Congratulations, man, I heard about your promotion." Jack shook Harm's hand and planted a kiss on Mac's cheek just for good measure.
"Thank you and get your own girl." Harm feigned jealousy and pulled Mac slightly away from Jack.
"London… what the hell are you going to do in London?" Jack seemed incredulous; he had only yet begun to goad.
"Force Judge Advocate." Harm said it with not a little pride in his voice.
"Man… they must be getting hard up." Jack threw his head back and laughed. Mac decided that it was time for Harm to go out on the small dance floor with her. Jack made his way over to where Tom and AJ sat. He walked up behind them and clapped a hand on each of their shoulders.
"Well...If it isn't my fellow conspirators."
He was proud of what they had been able to do. They had been able to follow the pursuit of the terrorist Aziz Nasiri, who was responsible for the bombing that had killed Harm's mother. They had been able to do it without Harm knowing or involving himself in any way. Jack saw it as his good deed for the decade.
"Keeter," they both said at once.
Tom gave Jack a sidelong glance and took a folded page of newspaper from his pocket.
"Speaking of fellow conspirators. Did either of you see this in the Washington Globe this morning?" Tom began to read from a small single paragraph article. 'Former Secretary of the Navy Douglas Nelson has been appointed to assist the deputy secretary of state on European affairs…'
AJ took the paper from him. "Well, I'll be damned. I knew something had to be going on."
Tom spoke up. "Sheffield had better watch his back." He looked at his friends, waiting for their reaction.
Jack looked at the article over AJ's shoulder, not really reading it. He already knew about Nelson's appointment. He had been in touch with the former SecNav a couple of times since the Trafalgar Square matter was resolved. He thought Nelson was well placed for the time being.
"Sheffield has enough to worry about without taking on Nelson. Hell…He's got Rabb as Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces Europe."
Harm overheard him and walked over to them. "Hey…just for that you're buying for the whole party."
"Ooooh. Big bar tab. Hey… speaking of small bar tabs…where's Sturgis?"
"He already shipped out Wednesday," Harm answered.
"Shipped out?" Jack didn't know anything about this.
"San Diego, Joint Legal Services Southwest." Harm hadn't said anything to anyone outside of close family, about the incident while he was completing his carrier quals. He was surprised that Jack didn't already know.
"No kidding. Man, I need to come around more often." Jack turned toward the bartender. "Joanna, my usual." She returned with his bourbon, neat.
"Where the hell have you been, anyway?" Harm leaned back on the bar.
Mac walked up to join the group who were listening to Harm and Jack spar in amusement.
"There she is, the woman I should have married. Sarah my love, dance with me." He gently but firmly guided her away from the group and pulled her into a loose embrace. He looked over Mac's shoulder at Harm. "Watch out, Harm, or I'll steal your girl."
This drew a laugh from the group as he waggled his eyebrows and guided her further away from them.
Another pointed question avoided, Harm thought to himself. Jack was determined to remain a mystery to them all. It didn't matter to Harm. He knew that if what he was doing was meant to be kept secret, it would be. Keeter was a man who honored his promises, his country and his friendships.
Mac laughed and rested her arm on Jack's shoulder. "Oh yeah, Keeter, I'm a prize all right. Can you even get your arms around me?"
"I can manage." He drew back and looked at her directly. "Harm is a lucky man, Mac."
Mac blushed profusely. "Thank you, Jack."
Faith excused herself from the other group, made up of Bud, Harriet, Gunny and Jen. She walked up to Mike, who sat on a barstool on the opposite side of the bar. Mike tossed back a drink and Faith touched his arm. He looked at her without speaking, waiting to hear what she had to say.
"I saw you this morning." She was trying to read his closed expression.
"Yeah, I saw you too." He looked forward again, not understanding why this was hurting him so much.
"Why didn't you come over?"
"You seemed otherwise occupied." He sounded like a jealous lover and he knew he had no right to feel that way.
"Michael, Gibbs just showed up this morning, and it was a bit unnerving, frankly. I didn't invite him. He wants more time to investigate a case before we proceed with the accused burial."
Mike waited, mulling the answer over in his mind. "I was hoping to talk to you. You've been avoiding me all week."
"I know."
"Why?" At least she would admit it, but it occurred to him that it didn't help at all.
"I've been really busy with this Dobbs case with NCIS and with trying to hammer out some type of plea agreement with Commander Roberts. I just got caught up in both situations." She had been avoiding him and she knew it. She just didn't know how to explain it.
"You've been avoiding me, Faith." He looked at her intently. "I know you, or at least I thought I did."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Faith hadn't expected him to react so intensely to this situation. She knew he saw her as a friend, but this side of him was different, especially tonight.
"It means you've been treating me like an acquaintance all week. I thought we were at least friends, Faith. I'm shipping out for London tomorrow morning, for Christ's sake."
The two strong drinks he had had in a matter of minutes made it easier to speak his mind and made his voice one octave too loud. Faith hadn't noticed, but Mike's new boss across the bar had.
Faith felt her face burn with shame; she looked down at her hands. She hadn't even considered that he would feel this way. She could only think of protecting herself, hiding what she felt from him, so that she could stand to let him go.
"I'm sorry." She looked over at him, searching his eyes, trying to salvage their friendship, even if it had to be long distance.
He turned on the bar stool and faced her. "Dance with me."
Faith complied silently, slipping from the bar stool and allowing him to take her hand. He pulled her into a loose embrace, but as the music played on he began to pull her closer. It was the song that had made Faith so uncomfortable so long ago. 'Broken.' He rested his cheek on her temple and closed his eyes. 'I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh, I want to hold you high and steal your pain away…'
He hadn't held her close to him like this since the fiasco with Vukovic. She had stood by him through that terrible time without wavering. She felt so strong and feminine at the same time; her waist was slim but he could feel the well defined muscle where he rested his hand on her back.
When he had returned from Iraq, it had been clear that she was glad to see him and they'd had a great time together, but they'd kept their physical distance.
Now this felt so good, so right. She skimmed her hand up his back, slowly caressing him. For Faith's part it had been an almost involuntary response. He brought that out in her, an ease and comfort no one else had. She couldn't believe that he was actually leaving the country tomorrow.
Mike let his hand slip lower on her back and pulled her body even closer to his. He was getting lost in the feel of her body against his. He didn't want this dance to end. He breathed her name into her ear without having realized he had done it. She pulled back and looked at him, locking her eyes with his. "I…I have to go. I'll miss you, Michael."
"Do you have to?" Mike had begun to look at her lips, remembering the kiss they had shared just outside this building, long ago, when they thought they had all the time in the world. Though right now, it seemed too long a time to him.
"I do, I really think I should." She felt tears starting and she couldn't humiliate herself like this. She turned away quickly.
Harm and Mac stood with Gunny and Jen. Faith made her way over to them. She spoke to Harm.
"Excuse me, sir. I just want to say it was a pleasure working with you." She offered Harm her hand. "I'm going to make it an early night. Good luck, sir. Goodnight, everyone."
"That's Harm, and thank you, Faith." Harm shook her hand. "Goodnight."
She looked at the rest the group, addressing them with a nod. As she walked swiftly toward the door Mike began to follow her. This could not be all... this couldn't be the last thing they said to each other.
"You'll stay in touch, Faith?"
She stopped short and turned toward him. "Of course."
Then she quickly slipped out of the door, leaving Mike standing just a few feet away, looking at the door, as though he expected her to come back in at any moment.
Mac was still listening to the song. It seemed so sad and yet, for some reason she could not name, seemed to fit this situation. "That is a beautiful song. What is the name of it?"
"Broken." Gunny answered, proud of himself for remembering, He had heard it when he and the captain were in Iraq a few months ago.
Both Harm and Gunny named the group. "Seether"
Jen and Mac looked at them, puzzled. Jen decided to ask. "Where did you hear that?"
Harm feigned offense. "Hey…we're not that old." The protest got a laugh from the entire group.
Jen turned to look at the major, standing as if abandoned at the door of the tavern. It was time to interject a little information. She approached Mike.
"Excuse me, sir?"
Mike turned toward her. "Yes." The look in his eyes was distracted, as though he were only half listening.
"I know this is none of my business, but well…sir, the day you decided to go to London ...well, I saw the Commander Coleman leaving JAG Ops. She was crying, sir – she was very upset. I know you and she are just friends, but she doesn't really talk to anyone else here. I just thought – I don't know, I just thought you might want to know about it before you left."
Mike was beginning to take in what she had said. It had to have been when she left to follow up on the NCIS investigation. He had to talk to her; there had to be more to know about how she felt than she allowed him to see.
"Thank you, Coates."
"You're welcome, sir."
Jen smiled sweetly and turned toward Gunny. He winked at her and shook his head. He couldn't have stepped up to an officer and spoken to him about something that private if his life depended on it. She would never cease to amaze him.
Mike paid his bar tab and said goodnight to everyone. He decided it was time to have a talk with Faith. He and Harm had to catch their flight at 0900 in the morning. They had less than 12 hours.
0930
That same night
Faith Coleman's apartment
Alexandria, Virginia
Faith had only been home a few moments when she heard a knock at her door. She knew it had to be Michael. She checked her security lens and saw him standing there. She leaned back on the door for a moment. She didn't know if she could do this. It wasn't the old fears; she had banished those a long time ago. Rather, she didn't know if she could keep her emotions in check. How would she keep from telling him how much she hated to see him go? She steeled herself and answered the door.
"Michael?" He looked so handsome standing there. The sage green polo shirt he wore tucked into his jeans accentuated his eyes and fit his body in a way that revealed all the hard work he had put in in the weight room.
"Faith." He walked in without being asked. "I couldn't leave it like that. I don't want to go to London without telling you…without your knowing…I…" What was he going to say? He didn't know if they had a future, but she meant so much to him.
Faith's eyes widened. What was he going to say? "I know… this is difficult." She turned away from him and walked into her living room. "You're the first real friend I've had in a long time."
"We're more than friends, aren't we, Faith?" He didn't know how to define their relationship either.
"Yes, but I'm not really girlfriend material, am I? I still have a lot to work out. You're a great guy; you should be seeing someone …normal."
"Don't do that. If you don't want more than friendship, say so, but don't use your past to keep me away. Like you're doing me some kind of favor." She was pushing him away and it was making him almost angry. They didn't have time for this.
"I don't like feeling inadequate, Michael. Here you are, you're this incredible guy, accomplished, honorable, with a wonderful sense of humor and of himself. What could you possibly see in me – I feel like an emotional cripple sometimes."
"I never meant to make you feel that way." He was at a loss. He had done everything he could to make her comfortable around him since their true friendship had begun.
"You didn't do anything, it's me." She turned to look at him, her eyes pleading with him.
Mike studied her for a moment. It was as though she had thrown her whole life in reverse and she was nearly back where she started last Christmas.
"It's just an excuse, Faith, and you know it. What are you afraid of? What have I ever done that would make you not trust me and shut me out of your life? I think I deserve better than that."
"Yes, you do." She folded her arms across her chest and looked at him directly.
Silence reigned for a few moments.
Faith started to speak, but when Mike began to walk toward her she stopped. He was looking at her in a way he hadn't in a long time … not since last March in McMurphy's parking lot. He came to stop just inches from her, looking down into her eyes. He wasn't sure what should happen next. Mike didn't know how deep his feelings were for her; he just knew he wanted to touch her. He reached up and traced her cheek bone out into her jaw line.
"Michael." Faith breathed his name and he kissed her. Memories of his kisses had never left her. He seemed to be able to make her lose track of all thought. For a moment she lost everything but the feel of his lips on hers and the way he made her feel when he held her. She slipped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her, and Michael couldn't keep a sound of pure pleasure from escaping as he deepened their kiss. He didn't need to come up for air. He just wanted this kiss to go on forever.
They both began to respond to each other, the tension building until they were both lying on the couch. Neither Faith nor Mike would be able to say how they had gotten there. Faith was lying beneath him, feeling her control beginning to slip away. Mike could also feel himself losing his grip; this was not what he had planned tonight. He wanted to deepen their relationship, but this was moving so fast now, and he had to leave her in the morning. If he wanted her to believe in him then he wasn't going to have a hasty fling and then leave her alone in the morning. Not after all she had been through and not after all she had come to mean to him.
He began to slow down and draw his kisses out more slowly. He lifted his head and looked intently into her eyes.
"We had better slow down, Faith." He was still kissing her cheeks and her closed eyes. "I want to be with you, more than anything, but I can't do that and just leave you in the morning."
Faith didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Her body was screaming for him, but she knew she still had a lot to work out. She loved him, but she had no intention of telling him so just yet. She knew he was right; this was too soon for them. He was being so sweet and so kind that it made her love him all the more. She didn't think there was anyone in the world like him. Up until she had gotten to know him, she didn't think his type existed.
She looked at him, returning his light sweet kisses. "I know you're right, but I'm going to miss you so much, Michael."
She was killing him with her touch and her tone of voice. "I'm going to miss you too, but if I don't get off of this couch, I'm going to lose all my resolve."
She smiled shyly and they disentangled themselves from each other. Faith stood and walked into her kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?"
Mike thought the best thing would be to get out of there. She looked so beautiful in that dress and he could still feel her lips on his. "Why don't we go out?"
"You know I'd really like that. Let's go to Starbucks and take a walk on the Mall." Now she had the look in her eyes that he hadn't seen all week. This was the Faith he knew. Right now she was an open book to him, and he couldn't believe how relieved he was to see her this way.
"It's pretty late, Faith."
"I know, but I have my own Marine escort. I'll be fine." She smiled at him, and it warmed him all the way to his heart.
2300
Friday
May 27th
Lincoln Memorial
Washington D.C.
Mike and Faith had walked around the Mall and ended up on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Mike sat on one of the large stone railings that led up the building, and Faith sat down, securely wrapped into the circle of his arms and body. It was a very intimate position to be in, but somehow it was not too familiar for them just now.
Faith turned toward him. "It's getting pretty late."
"Yeah, I know. Are you tired?" He looked into her eyes, hoping she would want to stay a bit longer. He didn't want to leave her until he had to.
"No, but you have to be out of here early tomorrow." She reached up to touch his cheek.
He kissed her, pulling her deeper into his arms. In the distance he heard the sound of footsteps on pavement. He broke the kiss and looked in the direction from which the sound came. He saw two familiar figures step into the lighted pathway in front of the Vietnam Memorial.
Faith turned to look. "It's Captain Rabb."
"Yeah. I wonder why he's here so late."
"His father was MIA, remember?" They had both had access to his military record when he had been tried for the murder of Lieutenant Singer two years ago.
"I do remember now. I haven't spoken to him about it. We get along all right, but we don't discuss a lot of personal matters."
Faith turned back to him and smiled. "If you don't count the ribbing you took about me."
He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, if you don't count that."
They both turned back to look at the couple standing at a certain place on the Wall. They watched Harm reach up and touch what they knew had to be his father's name. Mac reached for the arm he had at his side and he turned toward her. Faith and Mike looked back at each other, feeling that they were intruding on a private moment, one that they respected him too much to witness.
Faith pulled him into a warm embrace. It felt so good to hold him. "What am I going to do without you?"
"You won't be without me completely. We have leave time and email and we can talk on the phone too." He looked over Faith's shoulder and watched the couple at the Wall walk away in the other direction. As Faith loosened her embrace, she looked in the direction he was and saw Harm and Mac walking away.
"I hope I have what they do someday."
"I do too."
"We're not there yet, are we?" She returned her attention to him. She seemed to be studying the buttons at the collar of his shirt.
"No, not yet." He kissed her cheek.
Faith looked down and nodded, suddenly feeling a loss.
Mike tipped her chin up and looked into her eyes. "But who is to say we won't be?"
0630
Saturday
May 28th
Harm and Mac's apartment
Harm sat down on the edge of the bed next to Mac. She had been lying there watching him gather the last of his things, missing him already.
"It's about that time."
"I still think I should drive you."
"Now, we talked about this. I want to say goodbye here. When I think of you, I want to remember you here, all warm and tousled waiting for me in our bed." He leaned down and kissed her. "You're beautiful, baby."
She pulled him down to her and kissed him again with as much passion as she could. She wanted him to remember her well.
Harm broke the kiss. "Hey, that's not fair." That kiss was an invitation if he had ever gotten one.
"I just want to make sure you remember me." She smiled at him mischievously.
"No problem there." He winked and got up from the bedside. He walked out to the door and looked back at her sitting up slightly wrapped in the sheet. She kissed the tips of her fingers and extended her hand toward him as he slipped out of the doorway.
A/N: The toast AJ and Tom gave each other is one I heard while watching the movie 'Gardens of Stone.' I'm not sure who the original author of the toast is, but I think it fits those two old salts. AJ Chegwidden and Thomas Boone.
Chapter 75a
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Anything up to and including season 10 of JAG.
A/N: NLSO BROFF: Naval Legal Services Branch Office.
A/N: Thanks to Fawe for her permission to use a legend she wrote of in her wonderful story 'Legend.'
1545
Friday
June 10th
NLSO BROFF
Central London
Harm walked down the hallway toward his office. He passed Major McBurney's office on the way and stopped at his open door.
"Major." He stood in the doorway
"Sir." Mike stood quickly.
"Stand easy. Great job with the Brown case."
A petty officer aboard the USS Puget Sound had gotten into trouble with the local authorities in Naples. During an event cosponsored by the local soccer team, Petty Officer Brown had offended some of the team members by not taking the game seriously enough. A few wisecracks had been over heard by the team's best player.
The result was an all-out brawl. The petty officer barely knew what hit him. The sailor was arrested after breaking the nose of the police chief's son during the scuffle. The passion for the sport in Europe made NFL football fans in the US pale in comparison.
McBurney had been able to get the petty officer back to his ship with fines and smooth the ruffled feathers of the locals with humble apologies all around. Another PR disaster averted; however, Petty Officer Brown would not be leaving the ship for the rest of his deployment.
"Thank you, sir." He was slightly distracted; Faith was in the process of sending him a text message on the new picture phone he had recently bought to stay in touch with her.
Harm stepped into his office and noticed that Mike had left his cell phone open. Harm recognized the model and commented,
"Hey, is that one of the picture cell phones? I'm considering getting one myself."
Harm walked further into Mike's office and stood next to his desk. He saw the text message: 'Where have you been, Michael?' Mike noticed that his CO was looking pretty closely at the phone and picked it up. The screen indicated that he had a picture message. Harm just looked at Mike, waiting for him to answer it.
"Uh, I have a message, sir." Having the captain look over his shoulder made him a bit uncomfortable.
Harm was curious. "Do you mind if I see how you retrieve the picture?"
Mike didn't know what he was sweating about: how bad could it be? It was Faith, after all. He slipped the keypad down and retrieved the picture, which made him laugh out loud despite himself. It was Faith all right, but she had picked that moment to make a very unprofessional face at him that involved crossed eyes and her tongue out.
Mike closed the phone quickly and looked at Harm. "Sir – the commander was..."
"—Really angry at you for not calling her. I think you'd better get to it, Major." Harm finished his sentence for him.
"Yes sir." Faith would be mortified if she knew the captain had seen her like that.
Grinning from ear to ear, Harm turned to walk to Mike's office door and left without a backward look.
Mike worried for a moment that the captain might have more to needle him and Faith about, but then he considered that it was highly unlikely that the captain would even see her. No need to worry.
Harm had been settling in well in his new command. He had been able to speak with Mac nearly every other day by phone or e mail. His predecessor had just gotten his first star and was transferring back to the States. He and Captain Glenn Butler had been able to work together well to make the transition almost seamless.
The rest of the staff that he had been able to bring over had blended well with staff already on board. Major McBurney had stepped into his own leadership role very well. He was proving to be an asset to him already. He had been involved in two major cases in as many weeks, both of them requiring flying out to Naples and Bahrain. Their satellite office in West Ruislip had faxed a list of new personnel coming aboard. The list included a familiar name. He would be reporting today.
'Unbelievable.' He had not seen Tiner since last fall at his mother's funeral, and had only spoken to him briefly. Mac had told him that his orders might bring him back to JAG Headquarters, but Harm had not expected to see him here. He was definitely going to be one that the major would have to 'take under his wing.' He smiled when he thought of Tiner's well-meaning but sometimes bungling ways. McBurney would have his hands full, all right.
"Captain Rabb?" Harm's yeoman buzzed his office.
"Yes, Petty Officer?"
"I have Lieutenant Tiner to see you, sir." That had a strange ring to it, almost as strange as Captain Rabb.
"Thank you, Petty Officer Wilson. Send him in." Harm had given orders that the lieutenant report to him as soon as he arrived.
"At ease. Are you getting settled in, Lieutenant?" Harm still sat behind his desk.
"Yes sir." He stood before him in summer whites with jg shoulder boards, with all the spit and polish of a new recruit. No more 'cracker jacks' for Jason Tiner.
"The work may not seem very challenging in the beginning – power of attorney, wills and small claims – but the case work will get more interesting as you gain experience. You will be working under the supervision of Major McBurney, although my door is always open to you as well."
"Thank you, sir." The captain was putting him at ease and at the same time reminding him of his duty. He would be a good CO and Tiner was anxious to get started.
Harm stood and walked around his desk. He extended his hand, signaling the end of the meeting. Tiner smiled and shook it. "Good to have you aboard, Lieutenant."
"It's great to be here, sir – and … If I may, sir, I wanted to say, I still have your cover."
Harm frowned and then he remembered: he had tossed him his cover and told him to keep it. 'Hope it brings you more luck than it did me.' That had been the day he'd thought he was out of the Navy forever and Tiner's career seemed to be just beginning.
Tiner looked at him with the open and earnest look that always seemed to be on his face. "If you would like, I can give it back, sir."
"That won't be necessary. It seems that life is better now for both of us, so who knows, maybe it did bring you good luck."
"Thank you, sir." Tiner was relieved; he hadn't really wanted to give it up. The then-Commander Rabb had been someone he wanted to emulate. The fact that he had given the cover to him had meant a great deal to him, even in that terrible time.
"That will be all, Lieutenant."
"Yes sir." Tiner came to attention and turned to leave the room.
Harm crossed his arms and leaned back on his desk as Tiner left the room. It seemed he would know now 'up close and personal' just how Tiner the officer would turn out.
1345
Monday
June 13th
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Mattie sat resting on the front porch. She sat on the bench, leaning forward slightly and stretching her left leg out a bit. It was starting to hurt again, but she had done well today, so it was worth it. She had been able to walk the length of the porch with Mrs. Rabb standing by. She hadn't lost her balance once.
"That was great, Mattie."
"Thank you – it was great, wasn't it?" Her smile was a welcome sight to Mrs. Rabb. She had had a difficult time the first few days after Harm left for London. She understood the reasoning behind their separation and looked forward to the day they would all be together, but the realities of the time in between began to sink in, leaving her feeling abandoned.
"Yes, dear, I think it was so good that you will just have to do it again after we do some stretching." Mrs. Rabb couldn't let that pass; besides Mattie needed to push herself now more than ever.
"I've been working for an hour, grandma." Mattie had begun calling her this out of the blue, and though Mrs. Rabb noticed, she never called attention to it. She just answered her as if she had always been her grandmother. It just seemed the natural order of things.
"You're young and on your first legs, Miss." Mrs. Rabb walked over to her and sat down. They did some stretches and strengthening exercises on her knee and her arm, and then after a short rest she decided it was time for Mattie to get on her feet again.
"Grandma? Do you think everything will be all right over there – in London, I mean."
"Of course, Mattie – why wouldn't it?"
"I don't know. I don't know anyone over there. I'll feel out of place."
"There are a lot of children whose parents are stationed in London who felt the same way when they first arrived. You'll be attending the American school, with other military dependents and children of foreign service people."
"Do you think people in London will hate me because I'm a military kid?"
"Oh, honey, no – what makes you think that? You're watching too much television."
Mattie shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed.
"People in London won't hate you – I tend to think that Brits see Americans as this wild cousin of theirs. They have a great affection for us, but they hope we don't show up when they have company."
Mattie laughed with Mrs Rabb.
"Stop borrowing trouble, Miss Mattie. It's time to get to work. Let's see how much progress we can make before Mac comes this weekend." She winked at her and guided her up into a standing position.
Oscar, Mrs. Rabb's Labrador retriever, lay at the side of the bench, keeping his watch over Mattie. He raised his head and thumped his tail as he did every time Mattie walked across the room. He had become her constant companion and protector. No one had been able to come near her but Mrs. Rabb. He had even been a bit wary of Mac when she visited.
Mac had come for a long weekend in the first weekend in June. It had been just what Mattie needed to feel a part of Harm and Mac's future. Mac had helped her realize that they were all just getting ready to be together again after the baby came and Mattie got more physically able to travel.
"Okay, Mattie, remember: back straight, eyes forward, no watching your feet. That's my job." Mrs. Rabb chuckled and gently touched her back, signaling her to begin.
1830
Thursday
June 16th
Trafalgar Square
London, England
Harm walked around the pillar on which a statue of Lord Nelson was erected. This was the place. The last place his mother ever had been in her life. The square was busy and full of people now. A number of red double-decker buses stood out in the busy traffic on the street. He had avoided coming here since he had arrived, but the longer he waited the more it weighed on his mind. It was time to put this to rest once and for all. Harm didn't want anything to have that much power over him anymore.
As he walked around he passed the Landseer Lions of Trafalgar Square standing their sentinel watch at the base of the statue. He remembered a legend his mother had told him about the Landseer Lions and Big Ben: if Big Ben chimed a thirteenth time, the legend said that the fearsome Landseer Lions would come to life. He smiled as he remembered the times they had read together, the way she had brought out his natural curiosity in reading.
She had been a good mother, and he missed her; there was still so much he wished he had told her.
Harm looked around the square, trying to reach her somehow, and then it occurred to him. She wasn't here; this place had nothing to do with what she was to him or his father. She was at home; to him she was at the place he felt closest to her now, at the farm in Pennsylvania. He believed too that she was with his father.
The person who had perpetrated the wrong that had been done here had met justice, and that was really all that mattered. It was over, and now he was going to do what he knew both his parents wanted him to: get on with his life and be happy. As hard as the last year had been, it had brought him more happiness than he'd ever thought he had a right to feel. His cell phone ring tone pulled him from his reverie.
"Rabb."
"Hello, Rabb, this is Mrs. Rabb."
"Hey." He smiled at the source of most of his happiness this past year.
"I've been thinking about you all morning." It always worried her when she got this way; not being able to get him off of her mind usually meant something was wrong.
"That's good to hear." It was great to hear her voice, especially now.
"What are you doing? You're not still at work, are you?" He had a tendency to overwork when he was on his own. It had been great for his career, but not so great for him, Mac had decided.
"No, I'm taking a walk."
"Where are you?" Mac wished so much that she were walking with him.
"Trafalgar Square."
"Oh – are you okay, Harm?" When Harm had gotten orders to London, Mac had worried that being that close to Trafalgar Square would be difficult.
"Yeah, better than I thought I would be." The thought occurred to him as he said it.
"Now –that's- good to hear." He sounded good. She could always tell when he was holding something back, even long distance. He wasn't this time; the tone of his voice was even and clear. Their cell phone connection was so good that she felt as though he were in the next room.
Harm looked over his shoulder, taking one last look as he walked out of the square and onto Northumberland Street. He didn't see any need to stay to exorcise any more demons, now that coming here held no power to hurt him.
"Now, tell me about your day." He was ready to focus on her now. Harm was feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
1435
Saturday
June 25th
US Naval Academy Chapel
Annapolis, Maryland
Mac sat in the pew, about halfway back on the groom's side. Varese and Sturgis stood facing Chaplain Turner. She was so happy for her friend and was sorry that Harm had not been able to see this. Harm and Sturgis seemed to have mended their friendship, and the plan had been for Harm to stand up for Sturgis as his best man, but both of their orders had prevented that. Maybe it was just as well, given the strain on their relationship in the past few months. Sturgis's cousin, who had also graduated from the Academy four years before Sturgis, had taken his place.
There were many faces here she did not recognize: Varese's friends and family, some of Sturgis family. Then there were some that were very familiar to her. AJ and Marcella Chegwidden, Jennifer Coates and the Gunny had come. Mrs. Rabb and Mattie sat to her right. Mattie was walking with a cane now, though Mrs. Rabb stayed close by to make sure she managed without a loss of balance. The general and his family were present. The Robertses, with the exception of Big Bud, were in attendance. The only one missing was Harm. Mac closed her eyes and thought of him sitting next to her, wishing to feel his hand slipped discreetly into hers. She missed him so much; his presence was something tangible to her. He didn't have to speak; she felt him when he walked into the room. The baby thumped an agreement and Mac opened her eyes.
The male members of the wedding party were filing out to arch swords while the guests filed out of the chapel from the side entrance. A few moments later, Sturgis and Varese came through the arched swords and Captain Clayton Turner announced, "Presenting for the first time in public, Commander and Mrs. Sturgis Clayton Turner." The ceremony was completed by Varese's 'christening' tap on the six and "Go Navy."
One hour later…
Mac was being led out onto the dance floor by AJ Chegwidden at Sturgis and Varese's wedding reception. She felt like an elephant, but he insisted she come out and start enjoying this occasion. She had been enjoying herself – she just felt as though part of her was missing because Harm was so far away.
"Are you sure you're ready to deal with a very pregnant Sarah Mackenzie Rabb on the dance floor, sir?"
"I think I can handle it. I learned a lot from Marcella when she was expecting Francesca."
He had the scars to prove it. Some of them had lasted longer than ones he had from combat in Vietnam. He remembered one scar in particular on his head, one that had required stitches. He looked across the room to see Marcella dancing with Jack Keeter. He had shown up for the reception and had toasted the groom and charmed nearly everyone one the room. Marcella looked at him over Jack's shoulder and her gaze softened. He was so glad to have her back in his life, along with his daughter, whom he thought he would never have any real relationship with. Mac's comment pulled him from his thoughts.
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right, sir?"
"Something like that." He gave her a wry grin.
Mac felt a sharp pain on her left side and she flinched slightly.
AJ, perceptive as ever, picked up on it right away. "What is it, Mac?"
"Oh, it's nothing. I have a bit of pain from my surgery last fall." She laughed, trying to reassure him. "I'm getting bigger by the day. I'm bound to have some kind of pain occasionally." She looked up at him.
He looked down at her, giving her his critical and assessing look.
"Hmpf. Mac… I don't think you should be staying alone anymore. I know I'm overstepping here, but I think that given the events over the last year, you should be more cautious."
He was waiting to feel her stiffen in his arms, excuse herself and walk away. He knew she hated being coddled but he felt a certain responsibility toward her. He knew that Harm had not wanted to leave her alone and that she had insisted he go and take his assignment in London. It had been an unspoken understanding that AJ would look in on her often to be sure she wasn't taking on too much.
"I appreciate your concern and I'm considering taking medical leave before the baby comes."
"Really?" AJ was shocked; he raised his eyebrows and looked at her directly. "It may be wise, Mac."
"Harm and I talked about it before he left. I want to work as long as I can, but if I start having any real difficulty at all I will slow down. As for being alone, for the next couple of weeks Mattie and Mrs. Rabb are going to be here with me. Mattie is doing well enough and Sarah seems to feel that she needs to see some of the friends she made at school in Washington. Her friends in Blacksburg seem to be unable to handle her accident and her inability to keep up with them."
"That's a shame; I suppose she's learning early that times like that tell you who your friends really are."
Mac looked at him and smiled, understanding his double meaning. "That's true… that's very true." The music came to a stop and AJ led Mac back to her chair to sit the next couple of dances out.
0930
Wednesday
July 6th
Courtroom # One
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac sat at the bench listening to Commander Roberts finish his closing arguments. This case had been a very interesting one. A lieutenant commander stationed at NTC Dam Neck had been brought up on an Article 92 charge, failure to obey a lawful order. He had refused to require his students to recite the 'Sailors Creed' at the beginning of each class. A standing order had been handed down Navy-wide recently by the admiral in charge of the Navy's Training Command. Commander Roberts was prosecuting the case.
"In summation I would like to quote the inscription on the tombstone of Admiral Arleigh Burke, three-time CNO, recipient of the Medal of Freedom, Navy Cross and many other distinguished commendations, located on the grounds of the United States Naval Academy. 'Admiral Arleigh A. Burke, Sailor, United States Navy…"
Bud walked across the courtroom and faced the members. "Admiral Mike Boorda, CNO at the time of his passing, stated, 'Admiral Burke defined what it means to be a Naval Officer, relentless in combat, resourceful in command and revered by his crews. He was a Sailor's Sailor.'"
"The order requiring all naval personnel to recite the 'Sailors Creed' was not meant to demean anyone. It was a lawful order, meant to unite officers and enlisted and instill pride in the naval service as a whole. Lieutenant Commander Waxman disobeyed that order by not requiring his class to recite the 'Sailors Creed' as other instructors have."
Bud returned to his seat and Mac rapped the gavel. "This Court is in recess until the members' findings are published."
Commander Faith Coleman, who had been defending the case, looked up at Colonel Rabb. She noticed that the colonel grimaced in pain and then quickly recovered her unreadable and professional expression. Faith continued to watch her as she started to stand and then saw her place her hand on the left lower side of her abdomen. She sat back down again. Something was wrong. Faith looked across the courtroom at Bud. "Commander Roberts." She said it sharply and a little louder than she intended.
Bud turned toward her quickly, frowning a bit at her tone of voice. "Yes?"
She walked quickly over to him. "Commander, something seems to be wrong." She looked up toward Mac.
Bud looked at Mac and understood immediately. He looked at Faith and ordered, "Call an ambulance and notify the general now."
He walked quietly but swiftly toward Mac. "Ma'am, are you all right?" He spoke in a low voice, not wanting to attract too much attention.
Mac looked up at him, trying to remain calm but having difficulty due to the pain she felt making its way from her lower left side and spreading to the right. This was different; the pain nearly took her breath away, making it difficult to speak. She looked at Bud and spoke in a low voice, "Something is wrong, Bud."
Bud looked back at his second chair, Lieutenant Mayfield, who had followed him to the bench. "Get Admiral Morris. Tell him that the colonel is ill and is awaiting transport to Bethesda." He spoke calmly and firmly.
Faith was already on her way to the bullpen.
Petty Officer Coates saw Faith walk in and stood as she approached. There was no emotion apparent on her face, but something was up; Jen could feel it.
"Petty Officer, we need an ambulance at Courtroom One and I need to see the general now. We have an emergency involving Colonel Rabb."
Jen immediately buzzed his office. "I have Commander Coleman for you. It is an emergency, sir."
As she entered General Creswell's office, Faith looked over her shoulder at Jen. "Contact Admiral Chegwidden."
"Yes ma'am. I'll contact Mrs. Rabb and Mattie as well." Something must be terribly wrong if it were moving Commander Coleman to become this involved. The commander was still famous for keeping her distance from most of the staff at JAG.
Faith nodded and turned her attention to the general as she closed the door behind her. She came to attention.
"At ease." The general's brow knitted in curiosity.
"Sir, its Colonel Rabb. There appears to be a problem. Commander Roberts is with her, and he has instructed Lieutenant Mayfield to notify Admiral Morris that the colonel will be transported to Bethesda as soon as the ambulance arrives."
"Were you able to finish the case?"
"Yes sir – we had just finished closing arguments. We had just adjourned; however, the members are still out."
"Very well. You and Commander Roberts will need to be available when the members return."
He buzzed Jen's desk. "Clear my schedule this morning, Coates. I'll be accompanying the colonel to Bethesda. Has the colonel's family here been notified?"
"Yes sir, Mrs. Rabb and the Admiral Chegwidden are on their way to Bethesda as we speak. Sir, what about Captain Rabb?"
"I will take care of that matter from the hospital. We will not contact the captain until we have something to tell him."
"Yes sir."
Jen turned off the intercom and looked out the glass doors of the bullpen as she saw emergency medical personnel exit the elevator toward the courtrooms. Gunny looked in her direction and then out the doors as well. Their eyes locked and he knew. It was Colonel Rabb.
1010
Same day
En route to National Naval Medical Center
Mac lay on the gurney, listening to the sound of the siren and the medical personnel giving her vitals to the emergency room at Bethesda. She looked at the general sitting to her right. It had been kind of him to accompany her, though a bit awkward. She hadn't had the opportunity yet to know him as well as she had Admiral Chegwidden, but she had no doubt that he was a good man. The way he had handled her transition to the judiciary had been evidence of that.
The general looked at the corpsman attending Mac. "How many minutes out are we, Petty Officer?"
"About 10 minutes, sir."
"Very well." He looked down and noticed the colonel watching him.
"Hang in there, Colonel – we're almost there."
The pain Mac was having was still with her and she was fighting the panic she was beginning to feel rise up inside her. This baby just had to be all right. She knew in her heart there would not be another. This baby was their chance to be parents of a child that was their own.
Mac spoke in a low tone, as though volume would make it hurt more.
"I'm sorry about this, sir."
"Not at all, Colonel."
"This must be old news for you, sir." She remembered that the general was a father too.
"Not really. I didn't get to be with my wife when the children were born." He had been deployed, but his wife had borne it well, with her own special grace.
"It happens." Mac voice was still low and she tried to think of something else to say.
"Yes, it does, and you're going to be all right, Colonel."
General Creswell made the statement, making it sound as though it couldn't be any other way. He had given an order, after all.
"Mrs Rabb and Admiral Chegwidden will be waiting when we arrive at the hospital."
Mac nodded "Yes sir – thank you, sir." She tried to take a calming breath, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she exhaled. She closed her eyes and willed the ambulance to move faster.
1130
Labor deck
National Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, Maryland
Captains Morrison and Fletcher walked out of Mac's exam room and into the hallway. They looked down the hallway at the small group of people waiting to hear about her condition. Mac's scar tissue had become more of a problem than they expected. The tissue had spread across her abdomen, pressing against the growing baby, causing the radiating pain across Mac's lower abdomen.
This was an OB case, but because Captain Morrison was her oncologist and he had performed surgery, he was also continuing to monitor her. Both doctors agreed that the best course of action would be a C-section as soon as possible. They walked toward the assembled group of Mac's friends and family.
The general walked to meet them just a few paces outside the group. "I am General Creswell, the colonel's commanding officer. What is her status?"
"Is Captain Rabb not available, sir?"
"He is not; he is in London at present." He stood blocking their way to the rest of the group. He had to arrange a way to get Captain Rabb here as soon as possible; he had to get as many details as he could.
"The colonel's previous problem with her scar tissue has resurfaced and has worsened. We need to deliver this baby as soon as possible."
"Is the colonel aware of your recommendations?"
"She is and she has agreed."
"I will see that the captain is notified."
"Thank you, sir." The doctors started back toward Mac's room.
The general looked at AJ. "You'll keep me informed?"
"Certainly," he assured him.
"Thank you." He looked at Mrs Rabb and Mattie and nodded his goodbye.
AJ saw the doctors going into Mac's room. "Excuse me."
"Yes?" Captain Fletcher answered as both doctors turned toward him.
"May I speak with the colonel for a moment?"
"Are you a family member?"
"No."
From behind the curtain they heard Mac say, "I'd like to speak with him for a moment, Captain, if it would be all right."
The captain nodded her acquiescence, and AJ walked into the room and walked over to Mac's bedside.
Mac looked at AJ and tried to smile. She had been able to keep up her brave front so far, but the facade was beginning to crack. She wanted her husband.
AJ seemed to see through her practiced tough exterior. "It's going to be okay, Mac."
Mac nodded, but as she did tears began to fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, there is nothing wrong with wanting your husband with you at a time like this."
"Were you there when Francesca was born?"
"Yes and I got called every kind of SOB. In Italian." AJ smirked at the thought; Marcella's labor had been a tough 17 hours.
Mac laughed through her tears and winced when she felt it tug at her left side. AJ took her hand, and she looked up at him and admitted what she never thought she would.
"I'm afraid…what if I lose her?"
AJ knew the gravity of what she had just said; she wouldn't have said this if she didn't feel this fear soul deep.
"Mac, that's not going to happen." AJ could not fathom it. Both Harm and Mac had lost so much in their lives. Whatever higher power there was could not allow them to lose any more.
Mac nodded, but the look in her eyes told him she didn't quite believe him.
"Listen to me, Mac. You are here with doctors who know you and how to handle this situation. The best technology in the world is right here. You and your baby are going to be fine. Do you hear me, Marine?" He closed his other hand over hers. "You just relax and let these people do their jobs and help you bring this baby into the world."
Mac nodded, unable to speak just now.
AJ winked at her and released her hand. "I'll see what I can do about getting your husband back to the States. All right?"
Though he was retired, he intended to have a conversation with General Creswell. Although he did not know him well, he knew that General Creswell was already working on getting the captain back here ASAP.
"Yeah," she whispered.
"Okay." He backed away from her and turned and walked toward the doorway. Mrs. Rabb stood just outside, peering in.
Mac looked at her. "Hi."
"Hello, I understand you asked the doctors if I could accompany you to deliver the baby."
"Is that all right?" She had not expected to need anyone, but then again, she had expected Harm to be with her.
"Of course, dear. I'd be honored." She walked up to Mac's bedside and pushed her hair back from her face. "It really is going to be all right, honey. I have this wonderful feeling that this is going to be one of the best days of our lives."
She would be witnessing the birth of her and David's great grandchild. She couldn't imagine a greater gift.
Mac took a deep breath and nodded her agreement. Mrs. Rabb was about hope; it was one of the things she loved most about her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but we need to prepare Colonel Rabb for surgery. Captain Fletcher has requested that you report to the delivery deck ASAP. You will need to scrub and dress in time to be present at the delivery."
Mrs. Rabb looked at Mac and leaned down and kissed her cheek. "See you in a few moments." With that Mrs. Rabb left the room.
15 minutes later…
The doors to the delivery suites opened with a bang as the corpsmen rolled Mac into the suite. To her left, Mrs. Rabb approached her, dressed in turquoise scrubs and her hair covered in a white paper cap.
"I'm right here, honey."
Mac reached for her hand.
"Come on, Mac – let's go have a baby." Mrs Rabb's eyes were sparkling with delight.
TBC