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Chapter 3
It
was six in the afternoon and I was walking home with Syaoran in front
of me. I was just staring at his back with silence surrounding us but
for the first time, silence didn't bother me. I was smiling and that
was all that mattered. I never felt this happiness before and I'm
glad that he has been sent to me like an angel. We reached our
destination, my house and suddenly my heart stopped. I completely
forgot about skipping school and how my father was going to react to
it. How stupid am I. Now I'm in for it.
Syaoran had a confused
look on his face, "You have fear in your eyes. Why?"
I
shrugged it off. I didn't want him to be worried about me since he
barely knows me, "Oh, it's nothing."
Syaoran said, "If
it's about getting in trouble for skipping school, just blame it on
me. I'm the new kid so they wouldn't do anything to me." He
grinned at me so I had to smile. I couldn't resist that grin of
his.
I said, "Alright, I'll see you later." I pretended
like everything's okay. I'm sure that it was worth it for such
happiness. I slowly opened the door and immediately an object was
thrown at my head but missed.
I said, "Good evening,
Father." He was right in front of me and his hand grabbed my
neck as he lift me up choking me, "F-father, what are y-you
doing. "
His eyes were filled with anger, "You little
slut! You think you're so high and mighty skipping school with some
new guy that you don't even know! Have I raised you right. What the
hell do you learn in school?" I couldn't say a word or breathe.
A few more minutes and I'm going to drop dead.
He continued on,
"How do you think I felt when I heard the school call me. I
disown you!" He threw me on the floor as I kept gasping for
breath.
I tried to get up but he kicked me back down. This made
the bruise on the side of my stomach worse than it was before.
I
cried, "I'm sorry, Father! I can explain!"
" I
don't want to hear your ugly voice! If it weren't for your mom
begging to keep you to keep the family line going, I'd have killed
you a long time ago!" I started crying. I always tried to deny
that I wasn't wanted in this world but now I can't help but break
down.
I cried softly, "Please."
This got him even
more angry, "Get out of the house right now! I don't want to see
your ugly face." I stayed on the floor praying that he didn't
mean it. I don't have anyone to run to, not one relative or friend.
Then, he started throwing his bottle of beer at me as I raised my
hand, grabbed my bookbag with my other hand and ran out the door. The
bottle was made of glass so my hand is bleeding badly from shielding
myself. I sighed as the tears continued to flow.
I said out loud,
"Where can I go now. I'm only fifteen." Then, it occured
to me. I'll just go to the cementary. I'll visit my mother. She'll
make me smile. I ripped part of my sleeve and used it to cover my
hand to stop bleeding. I slowly searched the graveyard and looked at
each tombstone until I came across my mother's.
Nadeshiko Kinomoto
(1954-2000)
loving wife & mother
I smiled sadly looking at the wilted rose I put on the ground
last month. I sat down and leaned my back against the tomb.
"Mother,
did you really had to go. Or do you along with the world,
never.
cared about me. Maybe everything would be different if you
were around. But, listen to me okay. There was a new student that
transfered to my class and he made me understand what happiness is
like.", I started to laugh as I think about the memories, "I
don't even know him. It's funny how a stranger could care so much
more than those who's known you forever. What more, I'd actually
forgive everyone if they'd just stop the pain. How pathetic am I.
"
A voice said, "Oh, I don't know. Pathetic enough to
talk to yourself in the dark at a cementary. ", I quickly turned
around in fear. Was it my father, a ghost! Am I going to die?
He
laughed at me, "Calm down, what are you so nervous about. It's
just Syaoran."
I said, "What are you doing
here?"
Syaoran replied, "Nothing. I was just walking
home from a store and I saw you walking into the cemetery. It should
be my question. What are you doing here?"
I said, "My
mother died ten years ago."
Syaoran said, "You were ten
years old?"
I nodded, "Yeah. But, I'm alright. As long
as I can visit her grave, I'm smiling! But, you know, I prefer to
visit the places she loved. No ghost would stick around their
tombstones. It'd be depressing."
Syaoran smiled, "You're
right. Want me to walk you home?" Suddenly, I remembered about
how I was disowned. What do I do? I really don't have anywhere to run
to.
I replied, "I came here, because I lost my key to my
house and my father's out of town for several months."
He
laughed, "Are you serious? I'll let you stay in my house for a
while."
I said, "No, it's alright. I'm going to stay at
my aunt's house."
He nodded, "Alright, no problem. I'll
see you later?" I nodded and he walked away. I sighed and leaned
against the tombstone. I let myself fall and sat on the grave. I gave
a small laugh. I literally lied on my mother's grave. I am now
homeless. I am homeless and still smiling. How pathetic am I? I guess
one person can really make a difference in your life. My thoughts
drifted off into a dream as I laid there in the cold. But, the
coldness of the mist will never compare to the coldness I feel
within.
I walked into the classroom with a smile on my face.
I said, "Morning, Mei Ling."
She gave me a glare, "What
the hell do you want?"
I shrugged, "You make it seem
like greeting you is a crime." A couple of my classmates gave a
small laugh.
Mei Ling replied, "Don't mess with my head or
you'll get it."
I smiled, "What are you talking about?
I only said morning." I walked away, not needing to deal with
her. It was ten minutes until class started to I walked towards the
hallway window. Unconsciously, I sang.
If I could just walk to yesterday
If I could live through one
moment of the past
I'll never have to cry again
If I could just be strong and hold on
If I could just believe
it'll be alright
I'll always be smiling
But the world
just pushes me aside
I'll keep moving forward and show them
I'll
be alright
Syaoran said, "What song is that?"
I laughed, "I
didn't realize I was singing. I just made lyrics up in my mind just
now."
Syaoran replied, "That's really good. You're a
singer?"
I smiled, "Yeah, but I just write my own
songs. I'm not really much of something." The bell rang and I
just stood there.
Syaoran asked, "Aren't you going to come
in?"
I shook my head and smiled, "No thanks. I don't
have a purpose for school anymore. I'll see you later." I walked
off. I had so much thoughts last night in the cemetery. I can't
support myself. There's no way any job would accept some student. I
tried looking for one last year. There's no food or water that'll be
coming in. I accepted the fact that I was going to die of poverty.
Might as well enSakura the moments I had left. I walked to the place
that Syaoran took me earlier. I smiled at the memories as I
reminisced. I fell asleep contently.
Syaoran thought,
"How does she not have a purpose for school? What the hell
happened?" Mei Ling was trying to get his attention.
She
asked, "Is it alright if we can get something to eat? Just one
meal." She gave him a smile. Syaoran looked at her. She was a
beauty, alright. He could not deny it. He couldn't judge her based on
what people tell him.
He nodded, "Sure, one meal."
She
smiled, "After school, at six?" He nodded again and went
back to thinking of Sakura.
Mei Ling thought, "I will take
you away from Sakura if it's the last thing I do. She doesn't deserve
your thoughts. You deserve better. You deserve me."
