Chapter 10
Tohru had specifically mentioned how she had made this meal with leeks and chives from his own garden. Leeks and chives that they had planted together. And she wanted to enjoy them with him. Yuki wanted to humor her. He was still feeling bad about what Uo had told him earlier, so when she began to chatter about planting more herbs in the garden, he didn't mention that the garden no longer existed. In fact, he didn't want to say anything, just smile softly and nod - Until she added that she hoped that her entire household would eat together for the first time in nearly a week. This left Yuki in a distinctly bad mood.
He knew that at some point he would have to face everyone, but it was still sooner than he would've liked. It had only been three days since the incident, and Yuki knew that Kyou didn't know what was going on or else he would've attacked Yuki long ago. No, Kyou had not gone around and blamed Yuki for his horrible life. And for once, it really was 'all the damn rat's fault' because he, he had been too damn stupid to walk around with catnip in his pocket and his heart on his sleeve.
Even if he wasn't being blamed for the situation, Yuki couldn't help being bothered by the results of Kyou's actions. Did Kyou see what effect his touch had made on the rat? While the rational part of Yuki's brain hoped that Kyou had definitely, definitely not noticed, a more prominent voice in his brain shouted that he, Yuki Sohma, didn't care at all.
Yuki had decided, after all, that he didn't care. That way, there was nothing to lose.
So, there was nothing to lose if he were to confront the family. If he were to sit down and eat Tohru's dinner. With that stupid cat. And that dog, who would be laughing behind his hand the entire time; and Honda-san, who would think that the entire world was right again because they were all sitting together as a 'family'.
Yuki didn't notice how the food was arranged in a display of orange, red, and purple shades. He didn't notice how the table seemed crowded and quiet, even while Honda-san talked all about her day and the fun that she and her friends had had during their home economics class. And Yuki definitely did not notice that Kyou was wearing the shirt that he'd been carrying to the laundry on Sunday morning.
"-Right, Sohma-kun? Sohma-kun?"
Yuki looked up from his plate and into Honda-san's questioning gaze. "Excuse me," he said, "could you repeat that?"
"Hai!" she giggled, unable to keep her excitement in, "I saw Uo talking with you at lunch today, and then I wondered, was it about Student Council business?"
Yuki couldn't see Uotani giving three hells about student council, and it was even less likely to imagine her wasting free time discussing it, but he decided not to waste his time making Tohru upset. "No, Honda-san. We were discussing nothing of importance."
"Oh, that's too bad. Hana said she was sensing some strange electric vibes from you, and wondered if you were alright."
"I am."
"Um, it's just, I was worried. It would be awful if you've gotten sick like Kyou-kun had been..."
A heavy silence rested between the two boys, and Yuki could feel the tension in a different way than he he ever had before. The silenc left Tohru to wonder what she'd just said and she bumbled about to fix it with widened eyes. Shigure happened to be the one to cut into the conversation, like a knife through butter.
"WELL! Tohru-kun, that was a delicious meal. I'm so stuffed after eating all of my serving, and Yuki's."
Tohru's jaw dropped in shock. Her attention were immediately diverted.
"Oh-o!" she exclaimed, confused as to whether she ought to chastise Shigure or - no she could never do that I mean it was her fault after all, "Excuse me! I'm so sorry for not making enough food for everyone! I did not mean to make you starve!"
Yuki could practically hear the thought process in her head. She was predictable.
When Kyou spoke, Yuki immediately took attention. It was the first time that he had heard the cat talk, since when he had been purring into his hand.
"Give the rat my food. I'm not hungry," Kyou said shortly, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. He stood up, not even glancing at the table and pushed his hands into his pockets. Yuki could have sworn that he'd never seen Kyou so eager to - consciously - deny Honda-san of anything, and especially, deny her the enjoyment of watching him eat her meals. Instead, he'd given that up for Yuki.
Tohru became flustered again. Yuki wondered if there was ever a time when she didn't exist in a total state of shock and disorientation. As long as she remained in this house, the chances had to be very slim.
Besides, Kyou's comment had left a fine blush had spread across his cheekbones.
"Hey Yuki-kun," sang Shigure, waving his chopsticks in front of Yuki's plate, "are you going to be eating that?"
The prince, having declined Shigure's offer, marched up to his room with a solemn, masked expression. The stairway melted into the hall, where Yuki hesitated, wanting nothing more than to leave the house altogether. To disappear into the billions of people, neglecting his family honor and his past. Except, of course, he had nowhere to go. Yuki knew that he would never be so brave to disappear, to live on his own. He wasn't like Honda-san.
He approached the door to his room with a lingering sigh, his room had never been an adequate refuge and it would have to do, now, since it was the only place... He walked inside.
Near the window, Kyou stood with his back to the doorway.
Yuki covered his mouth, only barely able to keep down the bile that churned in his stomach.
He was not ready for this. Kyou never chose the right timing for this kind of thing. Why, why did he have to...?
"Why are you here?" he asked, with thinly covered disgust. It was the only emotion he could muster in his voice, without betraying the fact that he was trying so hard not to care. Still, Kyou flinched. The minute sound was powerfully audible to Yuki. Goosebumps were scattered across his pale arms. The rat's instinct pulsed madly in his blood: flee! flee! flee!.
"Tohru... wanted me to talk to you. She thinks it's her fault... That..." Kyou's hand found its way into his fire-glazed hair in an unconscious gesture of indecision. "I... I'm tired of avoiding you, okay?"
Yuki moved from the door and closed it carefully behind him. He leaned against the wood and folded his arms, in what he knew to be a detached and cold gesture. If he got too close to Kyou, after all... He would melt. That's just what fire did.
"So, what now?" asked Yuki, his eyes fastened on the opposite wall, "If that's why you're here, then why don't you talk?"
Perhaps the most unnerving thing, Yuki realized, was Kyou's calm attitude. He was emotional, yes, passionate, definitely... but never had Yuki seen this before. The cat hadn't just attacked him or demanded answers. He wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't throw a single fist, as if... as if he were afraid that simply touching Yuki would wither him into dust.
"Look, I don't know what happened, okay?" From the corner of Yuki's eyes, he saw Kyou curl his hands into tight fists, and then relax them, as if he were a cat retracting his claws. Yuki knew that, for some reason, Kyou had something difficult to tell him. A buried hope flickered from deep within his chest.
"I just... there was some sort of smell and... I didn't know what I was doing... and I couldn't help it. It wasn't me. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't."
No, Yuki agreed. It was my fault... because I'm-
"When... that happened... it was like I was possessed all over again. And... And I hate it! I hate not being in control! And... I can't even fight you now... Not if that smell is there again... Or I'll... do something stupid again..."
- because I'm a fool.
"It doesn't take much to make you stupid," Yuki snapped, a fire burning his soul and in his eyes. He'd rehearsed this conversation to himself hundreds of times: that the strange reaction happened out of the cat's control. But hearing Kyou say it still hurt, it hurt more than Yuki had known he was able to still hurt. After all, he had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Kyou had acted from his heart.
"Don't you realize that it's not happening anymore? That you can still fight me? Hit me. Unless you're scared," he snarled.
"I'm not scared," said Kyou.
"Then come on. Do it. Hit me," Yuki pushed. The cat was silent for a long moment. Then, suddenly, days of pent-up emotion burst forth and Kyou turned around with a feral glint in his eye. He lifted his knee, and spun around with a flying round-house kick, which Yuki quickly blocked by stepping back to the left and blocking down, moving in right against the cat's shoulder, and sweeping him before he even had time to catch his breath and punched him in the gut, hard, and pushing Kyou to the ground in a flurry of attacks that the cat could barely even see, much less hold off. And even though they weren't strong enough to bruise, Kyou didn't cover his face, but insteaed, threw out his hands and caught hold of Yuki's.
They both breathed heavily.
"Let... go of me!" Yuki tried to pull away furiously, twisting his arms as Kyou made eye contact with him for the first time in half a week.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kyou shouted. He tightened his grip on the rat's wrists. When the boy didn't answer, Kyou shoved him - hard - with his knees. "You've never lost control before!"
Yuki glared at him icily, but didn't move.
"I asked you a question, you damn rat! What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing."
"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" Kyou shouted, suddenly flinging Yuki's wrists away, "I'm so damn tired of you talking and not saying anything. I don't know what the hell happened to me and I don't know what happened to you."
Kyou got up and Yuki watched him from behind an expressionless mask.
"You obviously don't give a damn, huh?" said the cat, more rhetorically than anything else. He brought a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes in frustration. "I don't know why I do, and it's pissing me off!"
Kyou stormed to his feet, and Yuki moved himself upright, just in time to catch sight of the cat slamming the door to his room.
"Damnit," Yuki swore, and buried his head in his hands.
Outside the window, a biting wind swept through the trees, and the first fall frost broke across the earth.
Thanks for the reviews, guys! Umm, I think Yuki is feeling too guilty for manipulating Kyou, so he wouldn't give him a "catnip" treatment. But that's a good idea for the future, hmm? Alright, as I promised... the slash begins! Well, this wasn't exactly slash. I sort of liked how Kyou and Yuki interacted here. Yuki doesn't know how to act. Looks like his social skills are on the same level of Kyou's... white-belt novice. As always, tell me what you think! I'll update soon :D