crawls out from under massive rock Anybody hate me? I'm sorry, but I've been busy. I've been tortured with 3-hour AP tests, sunburn that turned my skin red, and a Latin project. Oh, and my muse decided to take the week off. So there have been no updates to any story of mine in over a week. Again, I'm very sorry. Please don't hate me.

Disclaimer: I don't own this. Are you kidding? I wish I did.

Replies (ooh! 27):

Black-in-low—Thanks

DELEDELEHELE—Uh, updating now? Sorry it took so long. Thanks.

Queen of Zan—Thanks. I've been leaving letters off? Haven't noticed. I'll try to remember to go back and check that sort of thing.

Siriusforeva—Thanks

FLOWER-PG-555555—Thanks. James will go through girl stuff soon, but not yet.

Jadyn Potter—Thanks. James will get his period at the end of this day, but I don't know how many chapters 'til then. Lots of chapters before they switch back I think They're only on day 3 of 7. Thanks. I always wondered about Frank and why he wasn't one them, so I felt bad for him too. Thanks so much.

PeRkieGuRL—Thanks. I never know what's going on. Haha, Lily apologizing to James? We'll see…

Starborn—Thanks! Wow, somebody else in the world actually takes Latin? We've got about 20 something in our class, but there's only 8 in the other class. I don't know why it's so unbalanced. All our clocks are networked, so I can't change them. Our teacher is fun to push around. I wanna take Spanish again. I took it in middle school and don't remember any of it. Out here it would come in handy (Southern California). Best of luck on the Latin test. We don't have anymore this year until our final. Lucky me, out of 7 finals, Latin is first.

HYPERdingdong39—Thanks. I like these too! Sometimes I used 3 3 3 or instead though.

Jaimee Shannon—Thanks so much!

Dorian the great—Thanks. James's will be tortured in various ways throughout the remainder of the story (though I suppose I've got to find some way to torture Lily too). But the chapter will come in a few chapters I think. Yeah, I've got to private school pretty much my whole life. The girls (girls only, no guys) got a video and a talk in 5th grade. Then girls and guys got one and the video in 7th grade. Then again in 9th grade Biology. Then again in 10th grade health. I think we're done now though. Clueless James is just so much fun to write. Maybe James'll ask some questions…

Tenshinoreika999—Yes it is leading to it. evil grin at James Hehe.

Fernanda—Thanks. I always appreciated reviews. They're so pretty! Sorry, very hyper. Yeah, I know, kinda bad for his image. I'm thinking some revenge for all this should be in order. I think I've thought of the perfect thing.

Pheryanddoiel—Thanks. Sorry this chapter is kind of short.

Frankie Beeblebrox—Thanks, Frankie. Hope you like this!

Rowan the Green Eyed Cat—Torturing boys is lots of fun! Thanks.

Feline-go-meow—Thanks. You're welcome, your story was great.

ApsyconamedRachel—Really? I think I still prefer the stinging sword, but to each her own, right? Glamdring was Gandalf's sword throughout the Hobbit and LotR. He found it in the troll cave with Bilbo and the dwarves. Glamdring the Foe-Hammer and Orchrist the Goblin-Cleaver were forged by the Elves for the Goblin Wars. Orchrist was Thorin's sword, and he was buried with it. Okay, I'm done now. Hope you like this update. Probably not my best work, I admit…

Briana Marie—Alice can be very…persuasive. I think she was bugging him about where he was between detention and coming back to the Tower and he didn't exactly remember that it would look bad for him that he "James" hit a girl. Yeah, I admit he would probably know by then, but for humorous purposes, I make him ignorant. Besides, maybe witches have a less obvious way to deal with it. Yeah, my brother knew at a young age too. I think they might find out too late. Like all of them putting the pieces together at the same time, but it's too late. They've switched back. I don't know. Yeah, I kinda felt the same way. Sirius and Peter such good friends until the betrayal.

Marauders3—Thanks. Good, she says yes. Don't say that! I like your stories, their awesome. Thanks.

FlamezFlyer—Thanks. Yeah, I really don't want to write a perverted James. I like to keep my stories pretty clean. Hehe, Jimmy! I think it's a good name. Hehe.

Moggy-is-cool—Thanks. Yeah, torture isn't coming quite yet, but it's on it's way. I'll review your stories if you want, but I don't know anything about Inuyasha. I've seen the show once, if that.

Joeyperson—Yup. Hehe. Coming soon: Cramps! Hehe. Probably, haven't written more than 2 lines of the next chapter yet.

Marina—Thanks

Mithostiel—Thanks!

FrighteninglyObesessed—Marie! See, I'm not so much a spear person. I'm definitely a sword girl. I'll go put this chappie on the board now.

Chippagirl—Ooh, you're new! You haven't reviewed this before. Sorry about that. Homework is despicable. Honestly, if I could make a living just writing fic, I'd do it. But I can't. I've got homework too, which is part of the reason my updates are lacking at the moment. And that blasted muse of mine took a vacation without telling me. Hope you like this chapter!

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Chapter 11: A Loathsome Lunch Suggestion

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Lily sat next to James in Potions after breakfast. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

"What?"

"I shouldn't have hit you. It didn't do either of us good. I got stuck cleaning the Owlery, sans magic, and you ended up with a broken nose."

James shuddered. "I would have gladly traded places with you. Alice cornered me into some 'girl-talk' time last night."

"Poor Potter. Couldn't take a little girl talk," snickered Lily softly. "I don't have much stomach for it myself to tell you the truth."

"Alice never seemed like the sort who would prattle on about that sort of thing. I thought she was more levelheaded than that." Some of the things she said had been informative, but some of it was disturbing coming from his point of view.

Lily shrugged. "Sometimes…she's usually more levelheaded actually. It's just that sometimes she gets crazy like that. Usually it's because of Frank. Did she said anything about him?"

James bit his lip. "A little."

"She must have really liked the way he combed his hair yesterday or something then."

James didn't want to explain that Alice had helped him realize how horrible he and his friends were to Frank, so he lied. "Yeah. That was exactly it."

"Ssh! Class is starting," whispered Lily, straightening in her chair.

James stared moodily at the wall. He wasn't particularly fond of Potions. Sirius wasn't half bad though. Professor Turpin was a good teacher. He treated everyone fairly. Unfortunately this would be his last year teaching. He said he wanted to retire from so he could stop smelling like chopped up spiders and exotic plants all the time. It was rumored that there would be a Squib teaching next year since there wasn't really much wand magic involved in Potions, but you never could trust rumors. James mused to himself about how long it would be until the Care of Magical Creatures professor was replaced. That man was awful. He was the reason James didn't take Care of Magical Creatures after the beginning of third year. All four of them had walked out after the first class and not gone back. He seemed rather abusive to the animals and Dumbledore was inspecting his case. The man was also Head of Slytherin. James remember him and his friends sneaking out one night under his invisibility cloak and releasing the animals that were being held for the next day's lesson. That man was so mad…he threatened to expel whoever did it if he found out. Of course, he never did…

"Miss Evans, are you paying the least bit of attention to me?" asked Professor Turpin, slightly exasperated.

"Oh, what? Sorry, Professor. Just thinking."

"About what, if you don't mind? You were staring awfully hard at that wall and I fail to see what's so fascinating about it."

"I- I was just thinking about my N.E.W.T.s at the end of this year and wondering if it was too early to start studying for them."

Professor Turpin started kneading his forehead with the heel of his hand. Normally Lily Evans wasn't one to let her attention wander like this. Maybe there was some truth to what Minerva and Albus had said about her not acting like herself. He really should pay more attention to these things. "That all depends on how comfortable you are with the material. If you're still shaky on what you've done in any of your classes over the last 6 years, then now would be a good time to start reviewing before it's too late. If you know and understand everything, then you don't have anything to worry about. Judging from your past work, I doubt you should be having any worries at the moment. If you have any questions, please come see me after class. That goes for everyone, by the way. Now, may we please return to the lesson?"

"Of course, Professor," James said, smiling.

When Professor Turpin's back was turned, Lily nudged him in the ribs.

"What was that for?" he grunted.

"Honestly, keep your mind on your work, I'm supposed to be the one pretending to goof off," she whispered.

"Sorry, I got distracted."

Lily just rolled her eyes.

The rest of the class period passed without incident, unless you count Sirius tripping and falling headfirst into Snape's cauldron (with some rather messy results).

Lily and James sat together at lunch, a little away from their friends.

"Evans?" James asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you get the feeling people are starting to get suspicious?"

"Why?"

"Sirius and Remus and Peter know me really well. No matter how hard you try, you're not me and they're going to pick up on the fact that something is weird. Even if they haven't noticed it yet and can't pinpoint just what's weird, they'll notice soon. My friends aren't above spying on us, you know."

"Yeah? And what do you propose we do?"

"Well, we could make up something. Something that would explain the unusualness between us this week."

"Like what?" she asked warily. After all, who knew what Potter's crazy plan would be?

"Like, er, pretend we're going out," James said, trying to sound casual. Merlin, who could be casual when suggesting to Lily Evans that the two of you should pretend to be going out?

She glared at him. "Not on your life!" She only just barely stopped herself from adding the word "Potter" to the end of that sentence. They would have to be more careful about that sort of thing.

"It's the perfect trick, though. It explains why we've been spending more time than usual together and that sort of thing."

"No."

"It explains why 'Lily Evans' has been all dressed up."

"No."

"But—"

"No," she repeated firmly.

"B—"

"Goodbye!" she said, taking her shepherd's pie and overturning it on his head before storming out.

James sat there, dumbfounded. People didn't storm out on him! He was James Potter and she was the only one who knew it!

Alice came over and started helping him pick pieces of Lily's lunch out of his hair. "What happened?" she asked, not completely sympathetic. "You should have sat with me and Frank. Sitting with James Potter is just asking for trouble."

"Yeah, tell me about it," he muttered.

"This stuff isn't coming out. You've still got some time left before your next class. Go upstairs and wash your hair. If you're late, I'll just explain to Professor Flitwick that it was all Potter's fault. He won't give you detention. You're his favorite student."

"Thanks." James said. He got up from the table and practically stomped upstairs like an angry child.

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Okay, I chose the name Turpin because of Lisa Turpin, a Ravenclaw in Harry's year. I don't know what this guy's relationship to her his, but I'm just trying to point out that potions doesn't have to be evil.

I'll try to update soon.