Disclaimer: Holds up glasses All I own! You sue, that's all you get! Oh and this half used lady speed stick deodorant. Want it?
Author's Note: I've looked and looked and never understood the difference between Paganism and Wicca so... I'm making it simple for myself, Wiccans do witchcraft, Pagans are more spiritual. Shrugs If I'm wrong may some super natural being strike me down!
"Chapters"
September 1993
For the first time, Tara looked forward to going back to school. She was happier than he had ever been. What's not to be happy about? She was babysitting and making money, she bought art supplies, fixed the bow for her violin, and, oh, here's a goodie, she made friends: Adrienne Wilson and Tim Cunliffe.
It was the first day of school, a day Tara usually dreaded, but not this time. She checked herself in the mirror. Black converse shoes, nice blue jeans that fit perfectly, a long sleeve black shirt with little designs at the bottom, hair down, and a little black jacket that matched her little black back pack. She felt somewhat confidant in herself and everything else. That's a first, she thought sarcastically.
She picked up her back pack and made her way down stairs before Dale or Donny, dropped her back pack in the living room, then went into the kitchen to help Amber set up breakfast. Oatmeal and toast with orange juice, a nicely balanced breakfast.
"Mom? What should I set up?" Tara asked, waiting in the doorway.
Amber looked up from the stove, "Oh, good morning, Tara. Um, I suppose just set up the bowls so I could pour in the oatmeal." She stured the oatmeal one last time, "And the small dishes for the toast."
With a swift move to the cupboard, Tara did what her mother asked, grabbing four bowls and placeing them on the table. Then she went back and got four small plates for toast and set them next to the bowls. Seeing Amber busy with pouring the oatmeal, Tara took it upon herself to grabb some glasses for the orange juice. Once she was finished placing the glasses, she looked at the table and half smiled.
"So how'd that job treating you, Donny boy?" Dale said as he walked into the kitchen, stretching out his arms.
"Eh, pretty good. Can't complain. All I can say, at least I don't work with the actual garbage," he said then laughed as he and Dale sat in their usual seats for breakfast.
Dale looked into his bowl and saw the toast with just the right amount of butter. He breathed in the scent and smiled, "Mmm mmm. Amber this all smells absolutely delicious." He picked up a spoon and began to dig into his bowl of oatmeal.
Once everyone was done with breakfast, Donny and Dale left for work while Tara helped Amber clean up. "Oh Tara," Amber looked at the clock on the wall, "You're going to be late for school. You'd better hurry. I'll finish up in here."
"Oh, thanks, Mom!" Tara gave Amber a quick hug and went out the kitchen to get her back pack and out the front door and began her morning walk to school.
Ever since she was in elementary she had walked to school, but when she was young, Amber would walk with her and pick her up. But once Tara got into middle school, Tara began to walk alone.
October
"13! You're a teenager Tara bear!" Adrienne shouted out as she hugged Tara tightly and spinned her around.
Tara laughed aloud and once Adrienne release her, Tim came from behind her and picked her up saying, "Our little Tara is growing up!" he kept her in the air and began spinning in circles as he shouted, "You go girl!"
Again, Tara laughed hard. There they were, in the front of the school, in the middle of the grass, spinning her around and shouted out to the whole world that she was 13. Wow, she thought as she looked at her situation. This had never happened before, then again, Tara had never had friends before.
By the time Tim put her back down and they walked through the front doors of the middle school, there was 10 minutes til the bell.
"Hey Tara," Tim said as he began to look through his back pack, "Here's a little something to hold you over until Adrienne and I can do something for your birthday," he continued to look through until he finally found it. "Here is it!" He pulled out a small bag full of fruit loops, "The best frickin' cereal ever!" he handed her the bag.
Tara smiled and made a small laugh as she took the bag, "Wow, thanks Tim. They, um, smell really good." She hugged him.
At lunch time, the three friends went to their usual spot and sat together as they looked on the other kids playing basketball or football.
"Idiots! They play because that's what they want you to do!" Tim shouted, "You can't give in." he looked to Tara and Adrienne, "Don't give in! They want to program us like their little robots. Don't give into society." he finished with a grin.
"Um," Adrienne mummbled, "Right... Anyway, Tara, what does your family have planned for you?"
Tara thought for a moment, then spoke, "Well, probably wh-what we do every year. Small family dinner." she weakly smiled and nodded, "It's really not... That big of a deal. Really."
"Aw man Tara, you gatta let us take you out!" Tim exclaimed.
"Or at least come to my house." Adrienne interjected.
Tara shook her head, "I don't know. We always just have... A small family dinner. My dad, um, looks forward to... It." she shrugged.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Come over anyway!" she said with a big smile on her face, "If not today then some other day. Some day soon. Whaddya say? Say yes!"
Tara smiled softly, "I'll see wh-what my dad... Says."
Later that day when Tara came home, she came home to find that neither Dale or Donny were there. She was confused because normally Dale was home by the time Tara got home from school. Where could they have gone? Who knows. Trying not to let it bother her, Tara made her way upstairs to her room and dropped her back pack on the floor and plopped on her bed and hugged her pillows.
Now that was something she couldn't live without: Pillows. And her pillows were just perfect. They were so soft and the cases were always cool to lay her face on. She hugged one of her pillows tightly and closed her eyes as she layed on her side. It always helped Tara think better when she layed like this.
Lately, Tara had been doing a lot of thinking. And not about school or music or anything like that. Tara had been thinking about sexuality. This was something that began to scare her. Tara had never had crushes on anyone in her entire life. She was sure she knew the difference between a friendship liking and a crush, but now she wasn't so sure. This thought began to scare her because not only did she think she may have a crush, but what really scared her was that she feared it was on a girl. Specifically on Adrienne.
Yeah, she was definitely scared. Did this mean she was bisexual? A lesbian? Maybe it wasn't a crush, just some crazy thought. Yeah, it had to have been a crazy thought. Yes. There is a demon in there, she had to just keep herself kind of normal. She did not need any confusing feelings running around in her head. Especially about a silly thing like sexuality.
Still, thinking back, she never did have any sort of crushes on guys. But she always did look at certain girls in a different way... No. She shook her head vigorously. She needed to keep some feeling of normalcy within her.
She sighed, "Tara, you're going crazy." she told herself aloud.
She walked to her desk and pulled out her books and folders and began on her homework. As she pulled out a piece of paper and started the heading, she remembered about Adrienne wanting her to go over to her house. She closed her eyes at that thought and massaged her forehead. Of course her father would say no, especially since she was still in middle school. Dale believed that Tara should not go out and about to other people's houses unless she was already in high school when she was responsible.
But it was okay because Tara knew that this year was the last year of complete house arrest. Even though Dale would be tough on her during high school because she would be older, at least she would be able to go outside once in a while. But until then, Tara had to wait.
November
Tara decided to ignore the thoughts and feelings she'd been having and fell into a complete and utter denial. She made up her mind, she was being silly when it came to this sexuality thing. Should she talk to her mother about this? Would Amber understand? Or would she freak out and blame the demon?
Cursing herself inwardly, Tara thought about her question. Of course Amber would not freak and blame the demon. That would be Dale's job. Amber would never do that. She was the one who was always telling Tara that they didn't have demons. That they were just Wiccan. They were Witches. But good witches who wanted to protect the Earth and help people. Not disgusting, ugly, evil demons.
Once she walked through the front doors of the school, Tara was greeted by Adrienne and Tim. The three friends smiled at each other and all hugged and all that nice stuff. Making a quick scan on Adrienne, Tara noticed that Adrienne was still wearing all black, but also begining to wear more punkish clothing. Although, she did not go overboard at all. Tara made the hug to Adrienne extra long, only by two seconds.
When Tara realized she had hugged Adrienne that extra couple of seconds, she immediately let her go and backed up, "Um, sorry."
Adrienne blinked, "Huh? For what?"
"Oh, um, n-nothing." Tara smiled.
At lunch time, the trio met in their usual spot. It was getting closer to winter and the air was telling everyone that it would be here soon. As the friends sat there and breathed in the crisp Colorado air, they were quiet.
It was Tim that broke the silence, "Ya know Tara, I really wish we could've done something about your birthday."
Adrienne, who was laying on her back looking up at the sky, rolled onto her side and looked at Tara, "Yeah. We could still do something if you want?"
"Oh, um, no that's okay. It's already... Over," she smiled and sighed, "It's not... A b-big deal."
Both Tim and Adrienne's jaws dropped, but it was Adrienne who spoke, "Oh don't tell me your birthday is not a big deal, Tara. It is a big deal. It's your birthday. It's a good day to pay respects to the Goddess too."
Tara lifted her head at that. An eye brow went up and her jaw dropped, "D-did you say, Goddess?"
"Um yeah. C'mon Tara, I thought you knew I was Pagan." Adrienne said in a matter of fact kind of voice.
Tara shruged, "I d-didn't think... I mean, I wasn't sure if... I was afraid I m-might've been, you know, wrong." she weakly smiled.
"Tara," Adrienne moved closer to her, "You could've just asked. If you were wrong, who cares?"
"Yeah," Tim spoke up, "You could even ask her about her boyfriend and kiss!" he began to tease her by making kissy noises.
With that tease, Adrienne punched Tim in the arm, "Hey, anyone can make a mistake." she turned back.
"Manuel?"
Tara's eye widened, "Manny was your f-first boyfriend?" she was ready to laugh.
Adrienne buried her face in her hands in embarrassment, "It lasted for week!"
"Nikki?" Tim raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Tara turned to Adrienne with a confused look on her face. Nikki? She looked down at her lap. Did he mean that other punkish girl? Wait, was Tim implying Adrienne had a relationship with Nikki? So many thoughts and wonders were going through Tara's head and they were all confusing her even more than she already was. What the hell? Tara finally looked up and waited for a response from Adrienne.
Adrienne saw that both were staring at her, so she took a sip from her Sprite can then said, "Okay, yeah, I'm bisexual and made out with a girl... Nikki. She wasn't my girlfriend but, we just made out."
"How come you guys didn't... Become girlfriends?" Tara asked.
Adrienne thought for a moment, "She's wild. She's way into partying and doing drugs. All that crazy stuff." she shook her head at the memory.
After a couple of weeks, Tara came home one day and went straight to her room. The information that Adrienne was bisexual never hit her until now, a random day in November.
Tara walked inside her room and placed her back pack on the floor next to her bed and fell into the bed. She rolled onto her back and looked out the window at the sky. She smiled at the information, maybe she had a... No! Tara shook her head. Just because Adrienne was bisexual didn't mean she herself was bisexual.
With a huge sigh, Tara got up from her bed and picked up her back pack to get out homework. She looked through her agenda and saw that she didn't have any homework except reading one chapter in April Morning. She figured that she could wait on that little piece of homework for later. After dinner most likely. So in the mean time, Tara figured she'd try out her new paints.
December
The snow began to fall once again. However, unlike most of Colorado, the little town of Colorado Springs never got huge amounts of snow. There was never huge blizzards but it was pretty chilly.
Tara looked away from her new painting and smirked at it. Her first painting and it came out pretty decent. It was completely abstract and even Tara herself wasn't sure what it meant. Still, she shrugged and put it under her bed. While her hand was under her bed, Tara grabbed her shoebox and pulled it out and opened it. She took out her birthday gift from her mother, a scented candle in a metal container with little designs on it. She opened the lid and smelled it. So lovely, almost like roses.
After hearing someone coming inside the house, Tara quickly covered the candle and placed it back in the shoe box, back under the bed. She got up to her feet and started gathering her art supplies and putting them away. She grabbed the used paint brushes and the cup of water and went into the bathroom with them. Once it was all cleaned she went back into her room and put all the supplies away.
When Tara realized no one called her name, she went downstairs and found Dale looking through the mail. He heard movements and looked up and saw his daughter, "Oh, hello, Tara."
Tara stopped moving, "Hi, Dad."
Once he went through every envelope, he looked up at her and half smiled, "Did you have a good day at school today?" he motioned for her to follow him and he went into the living room.
Tara followed him, "Um, yeah. Today I learned about, um, viruses and...b-bacteria. How they... Infect our b-bodies."
Dale scoffed, "Right. Like that's important." He turned and looked at her and noticed the black and blue and green paints on her hands, "What's on your hands?"
Tara froze, "Wh-what?" She looked at her hands, "Um... It's... It's just... Paints, Sir."
Dale stood there, his nostrils flared, "Paints?" his breathing began to deepen.
Tara swallowed hard, "Y-yes... Sir. I-in m-my... art... class. W-we painted."
Dale scoffed again, "Art class? What did I tell you, Tara?" he grabbed her shoulders, jerking her, "Women do not need this art crap. Especially when you have an evil thing living in you." The anger was rising within him every second. His heart was pounding and his blood flowing quickly in his viens, "Dammit, Tara!" he backhanded her and she fell to the ground.
Tara leaned against the couch, quivering. She held up an arm over her face in defense, although she knew it would not be much of a defense. She wanted to badly to back up more but she couldn't with the couch there, so Tara began to move toward the side, trying anything to get away from her enraged father.
"Art? It's almost as bad as magic, Tara!" he grabbed her arm, hard, and brought her to her feet, "You're only feeding the evil in you." he shook her, "After all we've done, all we're trying to do, filling you with God and His love... You go and toss it away!" he hit her again. This time she didn't fall to the floor because he had held onto her, "I can't believe you, Tara. I really can't." he pushed her away and turned his back to her, walking away.
She was left alone in the living room. She had tried to hard to stop the tears from coming down her cheeks. But they came down anyway. She wiped them with the back of her hand as she made her way back upstairs to her bedroom. She felt so drained and weak. Once she got inside her room, she gently closed the door and dragged her feet to her bed where she fell into it and hugged her pillow. Then more tears came down. Why did she have to be so wrong? Everything with her was wrong.
After a few minutes, she rolled out of bed and sat on the floor. She reached under her bed for a different shoe box. After she pulled it out she opened it and took out some pictures. They were pictures of Tim, Adrienne, and herself. She studied herself on the picture and saw a ghost of a girl. Why did she always have to look scared? But Tara did find a lovely picture of the three of them. Tim made an "oh I'm so sexy" face, Adrienne stuck out her tongue, and Tara looked up at the sky.
She put the pictures back and took out a small box. She opened it and pulled out the ring inside. It was a ring that had a Celtic symbol on it, different sign than from her necklace. She looked at the ring almost longingly. It was a gift from Adrienne for her birthday. Another gift that Tara could not let her father see. She put it back in its box then again in the shoe box and back under the bed. She went over to her violin case and opened it pulling out her violin. She began with scales before moving onto actual music.
While she played, her thoughts ran through her head a mile a minute. All the same thoughts. She couldn't keep this to herself much longer. Tara needed to talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings.
January 1994
The school year was almost half over and then was the next big step: High School. Tara was almost scared about going to high school because of all the older kids, harder classes, and greater expectations. But right now, in the middle of 8th grade, Tara didn't want to think about the hard future that lies ahead of her. She wanted to focus on the present with her friends, with her life, and with her inner self.
Tara went down the stairs and into the kitchen where Amber was getting out food to make for dinner. Tara slowly walked into the kitchen, almost afraid to open her mouth about what she wanted to ask, but she knew she had to.
Amber had put about 6 patatoes in the sink then she turned around and saw Tara standing in the doorway with a downcasted face. She wiped her hands with a towel and asked, "Tara? Are you okay?"
Looking up at her mother, Tara smiled weakly, "Yeah... I-I think so."
Amber placed her hands on her hips and smiled at her daughter, "What's going through your head?"
Nearly breaking down, Tara asked in a shakey voice, "Is it wrong?"
A confused look washed over Amber's face, "Is what wrong?"
Tears began to build in Tara's eyes, "Me. Am I wrong?" The tears began to fall down her cheeks.
"Oh honey," Amber went directly to her daughter and embraced her tightly, "Tara, I really don't understand what you're talking about. But there is no way you're wrong in any way."
Never releasing the embrace, Tara said, "I'm confused, Mom. I d-don't understand."
"What?" Amber asked and she ran her hand through Tara's honey blonde hair, "What is it?"
This is it, Tara thought to herself, time to face the music. Tara pulled away from her mother's embrace and stared at her feet for a moment before moving her head to look at Amber. Her mouth was slightly open and her cheeks were stained with tears. Finally she said in a weak and very shakey voice, "Mom... I th-think... I might... l-l-like a... a..." she put her head down again and more tears fell.
Confusion was the only thing Amber could manage at this point, however, she had a feeling where Tara was going, "A girl?"
Tara jerked her head upward, her jaw just about dropped. Quickly, she shut her mouth tightly and nodded. Her cheeks were reflecting light, that's how wet with tears they were.
To Tara's suprise, sympathy and compasion could be read on Amber's face, not anger or disgust. Amber quickly hugged her daughter again in a tight and loving embrace, "Shh, honey. It's okay," she whispered into Tara's ear, "It's okay. There is nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all." She gently rocked Tara in a soothing motion releasing some of her energy to calm her daughter down while running her hand through Tara's hair.
All Tara could do was just let herself be held and rocked and whispered to. Crying always made her feel weak and sleepy afterwards and now she was feeling just that. She sniffed and looked up to meet Amber's eyes and she whispered, "Th-thanks, Mom."
Amber smiled and nodded to Tara as Tara made her way out of the kitchen, up the stairs and through her room. She fell on her bed, face first, into her pillows. She cursed herself for not having told her mother everything, but felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders just because she simply told her mother what she felt. And she was okay with it! Amber told Tara that it was okay, that it was not wrong!
With her head still dug in the pillow, Tara smiled. She was incredibly happy that she told her mother. Yeah, a weight was definitely lifted off her shoulders. However, there were many more blocks that had to be taken up, but they could wait.
From the doorway, Donny was staring at Tara. His mouth was shut tightly and his nostrils were flaring. His arms her crossed over his chest. His breathing was begining to deepen and he finally made his way inside Tara's room. He closed the door and locked it form the inside.
At the noise Tara shot up and turned to see her brother glaring at her. Fear rose inside her, she swallowed the giant lump in her throat, "D-donny, wh-what happened?" Her breaths were sharp and shallow while the terror was rising.
Donny slowly walked in, taking his time, arms still crossed. Without looking up to look at his sister, he said "I heard what you said to Mom." he continued to walk, very slowly, "That you might be a dyke."
Tara froze. Her heart stopped and her blood turned to ice. She felt all the blood drain from her face and her skin grew paler than what it was. All that was screaming in Tara's head was; Oh shit!
He finally looked up at her, still walking toward her, "I really can't believe you, Tara. I really can't." He stopped right in front of her, looking down on her, "You are actually letting that demon take over you. Liking other girls?" he began to grow disgusted, not a good combination with anger, "It's wrong and just completely fucked up!"
The anger was too much and he struck her with the back of his hand across her face so hard she fell to the ground. He made no move, he stared at the corner biting his lip and not blinking. Tara saw his fists were clenching hard, his knuckles were turning white and red. Donny's fist was shaking and then it traveled through his arm and his entire arm began to shake.
Without his head moving, Donny moved his eyes and looked at his sister, she was still on the floor supporting herself with one arm. So many thoughts were running through his head, and as much as he wanted, he decided against telling his father, "You... I..." he huffed and in a heartbeat he grabbed Tara by the neck and squeezed, "You are lucky I'm not going to tell Dad," he pulled her closer and whispered, "But you better not give me shit. Got it?"
She couldn't speak so Tara nodded as her vision began to blur, not because of a lack of oxygen, although that might become a problem if Donny were to squeeze any harder, but of tears. She kept nodding hoping that Donny would let her go.
Donny let her go, he saw her fall almost flat on the floor slightly coughing and breathing in air deeply. He rolled his eyes and sighed. Then he tightly closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Once his eyes were opened, Tara couldn't see anything in them. He started toward the door, then stopped. He didn't turn around, just stared at the door, "It's wrong Tara. It's wrong and evil. Dad won't like it and neither will God. You're going to hell." after that, he walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving Tara on the floor, crying to herself.
February
The month of love. The one month of the year everyone pretends to be happy and supposidly likes everyone else. And it's all so fake, always fake. Valentine's Day, the fakest day of the year.
Tara walked into her school, seeing all these kids, boys and girls, hugging, kissing, giving each other notes, cards, and candy. She never did enjoy this particular holiday, mainly because she knew that the cards she got were not sincere and just like every other meaningless jesture.
"Tara, hey," Adrienne said as she walked up to her friend, hugging her, "Happy Valentine's Day. I got you a little something..." she pulled her arm out from around her back and she held a card out to her with one hand, "It's not much."
Reaching out her arm and grasping the card, Tara looked at it. It was a hand drawn picture of a rainbow and clouds. It was beautifully done and only Adrienne could make it seem so peaceful. Tara smiled at it and looked up at Adrienne, "Thank you."
With a giggle and a roll of her eyes, Adrienne said "Open it."
"Oh," Tara breathed and smiled as she opened the card. There was writing on it, a poem:
Breaking Through
There's that shell around me,
I fight it but it won't crack.
There's that fog around me,
I bat it but it won't fade.
Voices tell me that I'm wrong,
I try not to listen.
Voices tell me to hide myself,
I jump through the glass.
You're there to help me.
You're there to carry me.
You're there to save me.
You're there to find me.
Tara bit her lower lip as she closed the the card up. No one had ever given her such a thing that came from the heart, except her mother. What got to Tara even more was that Adrienne had written it herself especially for Tara. She looked up at Adrienne and smiled gently, "Thank you so much. It's b-beautiful." she hugged Adrienne.
When she had release Tara, Adrienne took a step back, "It was nothing," she batted her hand in the air, "Glad you like it though. I kind of, put some thought into it." she smiled.
Tim began to make some wimper noises on purpose. Tara, with a smile on her face, turned to Tim and saw him clutching a bag to his chest. He had a puppy dog look on his face and a small smirk. Tara made a small chuckle, "Tim?"
He held out the bag to Tara with a huge grin on his face, "Open mine! Please open mine!"
A laugh escaped her mouth, "Okay Tim." Tara took the bag and peaked in. She put her hand inside and pulled out the contents. It was a diary. A silver diary with Japanese markings for peace and butterflies all over the cover. It was beautiful, "Oh my... Tim... This is... Lovely." She turned to him and hugged him. When she stepped back she said to him, "Thank you."
Tara took a step back away from Adrienne and Tim and looked at them. She felt so awful, she had nothing for them. Her head hung, "You guys... I'm s-sorry. I-I don't have... Anything for you." she looked up.
Tim laughed, "Oh please. I don't care at all. V-day is just another made up holiday that society made to make us waste our money. I'm telling you, they want us to think we have to spend money. That we need a day to tell someone that we love them. I mean, I don't need a day to say 'I love you' to anyone. If it be my girlfriend or you guys, no special day is nesessary." she closed his lips tightly and nodded his head strongly.
With a nod in agreement Adrienne added, "It's true. There's nothing authentic about it." She smiled almost knowingly at Tara. She tilted her head down and looked up. The corner of her mouth curled up into a half smile, "Only real thing is what comes from the heart."
Tara blinked a few times and smiled. She looked back down and kept the smile on her face, "Yeah," she looked back up.
It had been a while since the fake Valentine's Day, yet Tara still read that poem Adrienne had written her on a daily basis. She could not stop reading it.
After she read the poem about 50 times, Tara pulled out the diary that Tim had given her. She was already making her first entry:
I've always wanted one of these. Never thought of putting a "Dear Diary" though. To me it seems a bit... Adolescent, I guess? I don't know. I'm still an adolescent myself. Maybe that's why I'm so confused. Why am I confused? I never really liked anyone before. How do I know that... Well that's silly to ask, the answer is obvious. Any idiot knows the difference. But liking a girl? Liking Adrienne? It's got to be the demon in me making me think these things. It has to be. No normal person would would have these thoughts... Would they? Gods, I don't know. I know I preyed to the Goddess for my friends but... Could this be a price? No, why would it be? Well, chores are waiting for me.
She enjoyed having this diary to write her thoughts in. It was not only a way to remember small details that could soon become forgotten, but it was also fun. The diary became a book she carried with her everywhere. It was like her sketchbook. It was a part of her now, something that could not be taken away.
Once she closed the book she got onto the floor and pulled out one of the shoe boxes. She placed the card with Adrienne's poem and the diary inside it and closed it. Once it was slid back under the bed, Tara went downstairs to get her list of chores to do.
March
"Alright guys here's your project," Ms. Fellman started, Tara and Adrienne's English teacher, "As you know in The Giver, our hero is given the memories of the past. Now your project, and you can have a parter for this, I want you to make a poster, or a video, anything and have your memories put on there. But the reason why you need a partner, if you want, is for the world's events. What events would you think is most important and should be remembered?"
After their English class was over, Tara and Adrienne, walked out of the classroom and made their way outside to the front of the school and were greeted by Tim. They explained their project to him in the most annoyed tone. It was an extremely lame project to do.
"Lord! Today was too long of a day," Tim exclaimed as he stretched out his arms in the air, "What why the hell did you guys get an assignment like that?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Adrienne replied "Who knows. You know that Ms. Fellman is a weirdo. She's cool, but weird. Least I got a partner, if Tara wants to be partners?"
Tara saw the look on Adrienne's face. Althought Tara knew Adrienne was making the puppy dog face on purpose and for the sole purpose of being cute and funny, Tara could not resist, "Of course we can be p-partners." she smiled.
"Great! Now all we got to do is get together and do this cheesy project." Adrienne adjusted her back pack, "What do you want to do? Video, poster, what?"
Tara shrugged her shoulders, "I d-don't really... Mind. It's, um, up to you." she half smiled.
Those half smiles of hers were becoming trademark, both Adrienne and Tim noticed. "Well, I say we should do something big and incredible. A video, almost like a documentary, and have the storyboard and stuff?" she turned to Tara with a huge grin on her face, "What do you think?"
She made a small chuckle and looked down at her feet for a moment then looked up with a small smile on her face, "Sounds fun."
The two girls continued for a short time to talk about their plans for their project as Tim looked on. He never had a single class with them, except band, and that was a joke of a class. Never had they had concerts and never played outside of school so, it was more of a hangout hour. But still, Tim looked on and continued to admire the two people he cared most about in his life.
"Well, I'd better go. My dad, he, uh, w-wants me home by 3:30." Tara hugged them both, "Give me a call wh-when you... Want to get, um, together. For the... Project."
After Adrienne nodded Tara began to walk in the direction of her home. On the way home, thoughts and senarios of Tara asking her father to go over to Adrienne's house for the purpose of a school project were running through her head. How could she do this? Dale had a set rule about going out of the house. Tara was not allowed to, unless it was babysitting, to go out until she was in high school. Why was this a rule, Tara had no clue. It was pretty dumb.
Once she had gotten home, she went to practicing her violin. High school was coming up and she had wanted to make sure she was adaquet enough for the high school band.
About an hour and a half later, Adrienne had called. Dale had answered the phone, "Hello?"
"Hi!" Adrienne said, "May I please speak to Tara?"
Confusion hit Dale, "Tara? Who is this? Why do you want to talk to her?"
"I'm a friend from school. We're doing a project for English together and I just need to, um, run some stuff by her. For our project."
Dale scoffed, "I see. Hand on..." he set the phone down and went up stairs and knocked on Tara's door, "Tara, the phone's for you. No more than 5 minutes, got it? I wanna keep that phone line free." he went back down stairs.
"Yes, sir." Tara herself was hit by confusion, who the hell would call her? She thought. Once she picked up the phone, "H-hello?"
She heard Adrienne's voice, "Tara!"
"Oh, hey Adrienne." Tara remembered Adrienne was going to call her about their assignment.
"So I was thinking for our project... My sister is going to let us use some stuff and John, that's her husband, is going to let us use his video camera. We have to get together this weekend? My house on Saturday?"
Oh damn, Tara thought. The rule, that stupid rule! Maybe Dale would wave it for school. Maybe he might not. What is she going to do? "Um... Yeah. I'll h-have to ask though. I'll tell you, um, tomorrow. Okay?"
"Alright. See you tomorrow."
"Bye." Tara smiled into the phone as she hung it back up. Wow, Adrienne sounded beautifully on the phone, almost as much as she did in person. Tara stood there, looking as the counter for a few seconds then stood up straight and looked in the direction her father was in. Her smiled quickly faded for she was about to ask for something that was nearly impossible.
Making her way through the dinning room and into the living room, Tara stood right next to the chair Dale was sitting in. He noticed her standing there so he looked up at her, "Yes, Tara?"
"Um, Dad? F-for that project... My partner and I... H-have to, um, get to-together to...W-work on it." Tara swollowed, "Can I, uh... Go over to, um, her house this S-saturday?" she clenched her jaw.
He grabbed her hand, but to Tara's suprise, it wasn't hard or rough. It was gently, almost lovingly, "Tara, you know the rules. You can't go over to anyone's house until you're in high school. Right now you're far to vunerable and it's dangerous out there."
She opened her mouth and took a few breaths, she knew she had to choose her next words very carefully, "B-but we need to... W-work on this. It's for s-school." Dale didn't change his facial expression, "Wh-what if... She comes here?" Tara left a ghost of a smile after she had finished her question.
Dale thought about that for a moment. It was obvious that they did have to work on something for school and by denying them to work together, he would be hurting not just Tara's but another girl's grade. He looked back up at Tara, "Alright... But she can only stay from 3 to 7. After that she's got to go home. Understood?"
Tara smiled, "Yes, sir. Thank you."
Dale also smiled, "Good. Now, get back to your homework."
With a smile and a nod, Tara made her way back upstairs into her room. She gently closed the door and fell on her bed. She looked out the window to the sky and smiled again. This was absolutely wonderful. She couldn't go over to Adrienne's but that's okay because Adrienne could come over to her house.
Then it hit her: Tim. Poor guy, he'd be all alone. But Tara could most definitely not have a boy come over. Maybe not ever. Tara's smile began to fade and the feeling of guilt began to sink in.
On Saturday, Adrienne had came over and the girls made a poster, decorated it themselves, no pictures yet for the memories, but that was on the way. They ran through ideas for the video. Right before it was 7, they settled on making the video almost like dream sequences, it had been Tara's idea.
After Adrienne had left, Dale and Amber went up to Tara, "She's very nice. And polite." Dale said.
"She really is. I'm glad you have her as a friend, Tara." Amber added.
Dale nodded in agreement and both he and Amber went into the dinning room. Tara made her way upstairs and walked past her bedroom to get to the bathroom. She had to pass Donny's room first, "Your girlfriend is kinda cute." he said, not moving from his chair.
Tara stoped dead in her tracks, "Wh-what?" she asked turning her head to look into Donny's room.
He smirked, "You heard."
Slowly, Tara went into the bathroom, trying desperately to ignore her brother.
April
The year was almost over. More so, middle school was almost over. Only three more months and onto the next big step of the hell hole of life: High School. However, April was always a beautiful month when Spring really began to bloom. It was always beautiful seeing the green coming to life in the trees and the little flower buds barely begining to wake from their slumber.
And for the first time, Tara enjoyed seeing all these things, not to escape the harsh reality, but to embrace it. After all these years, Tara welcomed life.
She stayed in her bed a few extra minutes laying on her side, hugging her pillow. There was a small grin on Tara's face when she realized what date it was. It was Adrienne's birthday. Her friend turned 14 years old today, closer to adulthood. Tara had been waiting for this day for a while trying to figure out what kind of gift she should give the girl.
Finally Tara rolled out of bed and onto the floor. She smiled and giggled to herself at her sillyness of just rolling off the bed and landing on the floor. Something she hadn't done since she was 4 or 5 years old. She reached under her bed for an empty shoe box and pulled it out. Again she reached under the bed and pulled out another shoe box and opened it. From within, she pulled out the scented candle her mother had given her for her birthday.
Tara loved the candle and the metal container it was held in, mainly the design. Everything about the candle was wonderful and soothing. Especially the scent of it. It was just exhilarating to breathe it in.
A smile creeped on Tara's face, perfect. She covered the candle and placed it in the box. She rose to her feet and looked around her room. A stuffed animal would be cute to give, right? She found a small stuffed dog, something Tara had won in a game at one of the church's carnivals that her family would go to. She liked the dog but decided it would suit as a good gift. Tara looked through her drawer and found a sticker of Betty Boop. Where the hell had Tara gotten a sticker of Betty Boop? She couldn't remember where she had gotten it and frankly didn't care. It was cute so she placed it in the shoebox along with the stuffed dog.
She closed the box and sighed. She had bought nothing but had given Adrienne items that Tara held close to herself. She also added a nice little letter:
Dear Adrienne,
I hope these little things find you well. I know it's not much but I hope you like them anyway. Especially the candle. It ment the most to me so I'm giving it to you. Take care of it because it's a part of me that you now own.
Love,
Tara
There she was at school in the front just staring at the front door. She took a few deep breaths and finally walked into the school. Upon entering the school, she spotted Adrienne nearly surrounded by students she had seen, but never taken the oppurtunity to get to know. Tara definitely knew them, but they were mear lackies, never interested in important issues. Yet for some reason she felt slightly threatened, especially when she saw Nikki give Adrienne some flowers.
"Don't worry Tara," Tim said behind her putting his hand on her shoulder, "We mean more to her. All of them, they're nothing but phonies. I don't even know their real names." Tim smiled warmly at her, "We're not a part of their group, but we mean more to Adrienne than they do because she asked me to ask you to go to her house for her birthday today. Just you and me, not the rest of them."
Tara smiled weakly and sighed, "Wish I could. B-but my dad w-wouldn't let me." She looked down at the floor and frowned, "I would r-really love... to go."
"Maybe Adrienne can talk to him?" Tim offered, "He did say he liked her right?"
Once Adrienne had gotten away form those groupies, she made her way to Tara and Tim, "Hey guys!" she greeted.
Tim was the first to hug her, "Happy birthday, Chica." He smiled at her, "I will give you your gift later today okay?"
"Tim, don't even worry about it."
"Um, Adrienne?" Tara mummbled.
Adrienne turned to Tara with a questioning look in her face.
Tara held out the shoebox to Adrienne, "Um... It's, uh... M-my gift to... You..." she handed the box to Adrienne and saw that she had opened it, "I-its not... Much but... I hope you... Like it." she made a small smile.
"Wow," Adrienne nearly breathed, "Tara... This is lovely. The candle is beautiful, the dog it cute, and the sticker is adorable." She closed the box and hugged Tara warmly, "Thank you." she said in Tara's ear.
"Adrienne, call Tara's folks and put in a good word so she can hang today!" Tim exclaimed.
"Not a bad idea." Adrienne thought about it and she decided she would do it.
And it had worked. But she was only allowed to stay for two hours, which ment she was to be home at 6:30. That was fine, but what wasn't fine was that Tim couldn't be there until 5:30 so Tara would only be able to spend one hour with both of them together.
When Tara had gotten to Adrienne's house, she froze. She was actually there in front of her house. In front of Adrienne's house. Tara wanted someone to pinch her to make sure it wasn't a dream.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tara walked up to the door and knocked four times. In the few seconds after, Tara almost wanted to turn around and get away, then the door was being opened.
"Oh hey Tara!" Adrienne greeted as she opened the door. "Come on in."
Adrienne stepped aside and allowed Tara to enter. Upon entering, Tara looked around, "Wow," she whispered. She had never been to anyone's house before, except her aunt and uncle's. It was a completely new expirance for Tara, and she could not believe her father had let her come over. Whatever Adrienne had said, it must've been good.
With the first 30 minutes, Adrienne showed Tara around her house. She showed Tara her sister's computer, her brother in law's bass, and also showed Tara her own bass guitar. Adrienne even let Tara hold and tinker with her bass, Onyx was its name.
After the tour, they settled into Adrienne's room. Tara checked it out, it was very interesting. The walls were black and there were faerie lights hanging on the ceiling. Above the bed, a matress on the floor, there were christmas lights making the form of a penticle. Tara was definitely amazed by that, "Wow... The elements."
Adrienne smiled, "Yup. Told ya, Pagan here."
Tara smiled and looked at Adrienne's cabinet and noticed it was used as an alter as well. She stood, "Wow... That's amazing." From the corner of her eye, Tara could see Adrienne was smiling as she examined the alter. It was a beautiful Pagan design with candles and gems and... The candle she had given her. "Hey, my candle is in the middle." Tara said as she smiled and sat back down in front of Adrienne.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Of course it is. It's the most special." Adrienne smiled again and looked at Tara right in the eyes.
For a moment that seemed like an eternity, the girls continued to look at each other and smile. Tara kept smiling as she looked into Adrienne's eyes. In her eyes, Tara saw pain, sorrow, and love. Whatever Adrienne has in her past, she was not ready to share it yet. Tara felt so much as she stared into Adrienne's eyes. Yes... Tara finally knew, she liked her. Finally Tara can say she has a crush and it makes her feel like she's floating among the clouds. But what really confused Tara was the way Adrienne was looking at her too. Could the feelings there be the same? Slowly, Tara can feel herself leaning forward and Adrienne doing the same. Yet neither of the girls broke eye contact as both were leaning toward each other.
Then there was a knock at the front door and both girls jumped back away from each other, both blushing. Tara looked down at her lap with an almost horrified look on her face as Adrienne got up and took off to her door. She heard Adrienne and Tim greeting each other and walked into Adrienne's room.
"Alright girls!" Tim said aloud, "I got the cake and sodas so lets eat like pigs!"
The girls just smiled and nodded to Tim. It could become awkward for them from here on if they allow it to be.
May
Tara smiled and looked at Adrienne's cabinet and noticed it was used as an alter as well. She stood, "Wow... That's amazing." From the corner of her eye, Tara could see Adrienne was smiling as she examined the alter. It was a beautiful Pagan design with candles and gems and... The candle she had given her. "Hey, my candle is in the middle." Tara said as she smiled and sat back down in front of Adrienne.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Of course it is. It's the most special." Adrienne smiled again and looked at Tara right in the eyes.
For a moment that seemed like an eternity, the girls continued to look at each other and smile. Tara kept smiling as she looked into Adrienne's eyes. In her eyes, Tara saw pain, sorrow, and love. Whatever Adrienne has in her past, she was not ready to share it yet. Tara felt so much as she stared into Adrienne's eyes. Yes... Tara finally knew, she liked her. Finally Tara can say she has a crush and it makes her feel like she's floating among the clouds. But what really confused Tara was the way Adrienne was looking at her too. Could the feelings there be the same? Slowly, Tara can feel herself leaning forward and Adrienne doing the same. Yet neither of the girls broke eye contact as both were leaning toward each other.
Finally their lips touched and both girls could feel the sparks flowing throughout their bodies. Their lips moving with each other, slowly at first, but soon their pace quickened. Tara could feel Adrienne's tongue enter her mouth and could feel the passion and heat rising...
The blaring sound of beeps from the alarm clock on the shelf rang in Tara's ears. At first, Tara did nothing to shut it off. She cursed the alarm for going off before her dream had finished then she hit the snooze button before turning it off completely.
She stayed in the bed for an extra few seconds. It was almost as if a burden was lifted off her shoulders. Finally, she admitted to herself her feelings, and possibly her sexuality. That, however, was still in the grey. But at least now she can freely say that she likes a girl and that girl was her friend Adrienne Wilson.
But she knew she had to wake up and get ready for school. It didn't take much time for Tara to finish.
Once she had gotten down stairs, Tara came into the kitchen smiling, especially knowing it was Tim's birthday. Tara had spent the previous night making a sweet treat for him. She knew his favorite cereal was Fruit Loops so she made "Fruit Loop Treats", same as Rice Krispies Treats, but with Fruit Loops.
"You seem cheery." Amber noticed Tara nearly glowing.
Tara smiled shyly and a small blush creeped onto Tara's face, "Yeah."
There was definitely something going on in Tara's head, and Amber could see it. She lifted up an eye brow, "You have a crush don't you?" she teased.
"Mom," Tara said sheepishly. How did Amber always know?
But Amber knew exactly who the crush was on and she could not be happier. Amber smiled again, oh this would certainly embarass Tara beyond words, "It's Adrienne isn't it?" she smiled.
Tara's face turned absolutely red and her jaw fell open. Sounds, noised, and mummbles came out of Tara's mouth but nothing that could be understood.
"Sweetie, it's okay," Amber smiled lovingly, "I told you it's okay."
Facing the front doors of the school was something Tara has grown accustomed to. She held the tupperware full of the fruit loop treats close to her. She smiled inwardly and made her way through the doors. Almost instantly Tara was greeted by her two friends.
With a quick hug from Adrienne and Tim, Tara handed Tim the tupperware, "It's not m-much... But I know... How much you l-like... Fruit Loops so..." she shrugged and smiled.
Again Tim gave Tara a hug and opened the lid and smelled the treat. He smelled marshmellows and fruit loops and it smelled just wonderful and mouth watering. In fact, his mouth had begun to water. He took out a small piece and put it in his mouth and ate it. It tasted almost like heaven to him, "God, Tara..." he muffled, "This is great!"
Tara made a half smile, one that is quickly becoming trademark, "I'm glad you, uh, like them."
The day went by relatively slow, as usual, but when the day finally did end, Tim was more than happy to show his happiness, "Hellz yeah! This day went by way too damn slow!" she jumped onto a tree stump, "4 more years and no more you damn school system!" he shouted out and jumped back down.
"Tara," Adrienne said, "How much sugar was in those fruit loops treats?" she giggled.
All Tara did was just laugh and shook her head.
Once Tim was done with his shouting and jumping, he went up to the girls with a hug grin on his face, "We should see 'The Crow' today."
Adrienne's eye went wide, "Oh yeah, we really should. Not only is the story good, Brandon Lee... So hot..." she sighed.
Although the idea of seeing a movie with her two best friends seem absolutely wonderful, however, Tara knew that was definitely out of the question. She sighed, "I can't. I'm s-sorry."
Tim turned to look at Tara with a look of sympathy on his face, "Your dad?" Tara answered him with a nod, "I know the feeling. My dad used to be a total dick. But my mom finally threw his sorry ass out about two years ago. Easy going since then." He smiled, but not to gloat, just to let Tara knew that he understood.
Adrienne looked at both of her friends and she could feel each of their auoras and can feel their energies. Both had pain, as she herself did. "Hey guys," she spoke, "One day, we're all going to have a long talk." she meakly smiled.
The next day, Tim and Adrienne could not stop talking about "The Crow".
"The music was just kick ass! They had Pantera, The Cure-" Tim said.
"Nine Inch Nails!" Adrienne interupted, "And Tara, he was just drool worthy."
"The make up looked awesome!"
"And the story..." Adrienne closed her eyes for a moment then reopened them, "That poor guy, Eric... He went through so much."
"Wow... You guys are... making me jealous." Tara finally spoke.
"Don't worry, Tara," Tim said looking up from his hands, "When it comes out on video, we'll have a movie night." he smirked.
Tara smiled, "I'd l-like that."
And now it would be something else Tara could look forward to. A nice little movie night with her friends. Wow, now that is something she definitely would never have dreamed would ever happen to her. But she was thankful for it. She would always be thankful for her friends.
June
Three long years of middle school and finally, graduation was just around the corner. Adrienne had tried to dye her hair some warm color shade, but it somehow turned into a bright orange. Tara and Tim poke very little fun at it, but Adrienne didn't care. Tim pointed out, "There won't be any problem locating you in a crowd." he finished with a laugh that both Tara and Adrienne joined in on.
Then finally 8th grade graduation came. All the graduating 8th graders looked forward to this day for the past 3 years. It was 3 long, agonizing years that went by slower than a snail.
For Tara, it was yet another step closer to her "destiny" her father had bestowed upon her.
Both Dale and Amber were running around the house trying to rush to make it to the school so they wouldn't be late. Donny of course couldn't give a rat's ass about anything that had to do with Tara, so he took his sweet time in dressing and everything else he was doing.
Tara was wearing a simple black skirt with a semi fancy/semi casual maroon long sleeved shirt. Her hair was down and looked soft and shined in the sun light. She had on her feet black strapped shoes with a small heel. She looked not only beautiful but also angelic because her honey blonde hair shaped her face and mde her icy blue eyes shine.
Tim wore black slacks, polished black shoes, a black long sleeved shirt and a red tie. His brown hair was spiked up perfectly with gel tht made his hair not only shiny but smell just amazingly good.
Adrienne was the most unique of the three. She had dyed her hair purple, although it was ment to be blue. Her dress was a beautiful black gothic-like dress. It really brought out her eyes and pale, yet beautiful fair skin. She looked like a beautiful gothic faerie from pictures.
The graduation ceremony was long and it was hot. The auditorium had no air conditioning and hardly any ventlation. But once the 8th graders, about to be high schoolers, began to collect their certificates proving they graduated middle school, everything was wonderful. The room filled with proud eyes and smiles and tears.
"Oh God, Tara!" Dale shouted as he saw his daughter come out of the auditorium, he went up to her and hugged her tightly, "I'm so proud of you."
When he let her go, Amber came up to her with tears in her eyes, "Oh sweetie," she hugged her gently, "This is so wonderful," she whispered in Tara's ear, "I knew the Goddess would look after you. She still is." She looked at Tara in the eyes and kissed her forehead.
Donny didn't make a move at first, he just smiled with his hands behind his back.
Adrienne and Tim came up to Tara with huge smiles on their faces. Tim was the first to speak, "Man it's great to be out of that messed-" he took notice of Dale, "Hot and stuffy auditorium. I'm going to miss these past years."
"Me too," Adrienne said sincerely, "It was the most amazing time of my life. It's going to take a lot to top this."
"I'm Tara's father, Dale Maclay." Dale said holding out his hand to Tim.
It took a moment for Tim to actually take Dale's hand, but he was a bit hesitant when he did, "Tim Cunliffe."
Once they took back their hands, Dale said "We'll give you a few minutes. We'll be at the car." He smiled and then moved for the car being followed by Amber and Donny.
"Your dad's... Stern." Tim said with uneasiness.
"Yeah," Adrienne added, "I sense hostility. And a lot of anger. But your brother just down right scares me."
Tara smiled softly, "You know... Families... Make you crazy."
July
It was night time and Tara did what she had always done at the 4th of July. Dale would have a small BBQ with his friends from work and then would watch the fireworks once the night came.
Tara looked back at her year and smiled. Everything was good and very mellow. She hadn't gotten in trouble or even yelled at nearly as much as she had in the previous years. All was going smooth. But then Tara frowned. For every good there was always a balance of bad.
Unfortunately, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, much to everyone's dismay. Tara began to worry about what the fates have instore for her. She had been the happiest she had ever been, but what's going to balance it? What is going to happen that will balance the scales? Tara shuddered to think.
"Who's gunna cut the damn watermelon?!" Donny yelled as he came out of the house with a beer in his hand. Donny wasn't even 21 yet but Dale let him drink. Like father like son, Donny was not a nice drunk.
"Don't yell so loudly." Dale told him, "You want the neighbors to think we're low class idiots? Stop shouting so loudly."
Donny was on his 5th beer and was already feeling the alcohol running through his veins. Where he walked, he would wobble and come close to falling. The fool was a lightweight when it came to drinking, but he thought he could handle much more booze, "I really... Need some more." he said to Tara.
"Um, Donny, I think you've had enough." Tara said with concern.
"I've had enough?" he stared at Tara with glazed eyes, his mouth hung open slightly with the tiniest of drool threatening to come down the corner of his mouth, "I've had... ENOUGH?!"
Tara simply stared at her brother. Her lips trembled, she felt a knot in her throat, a stone in the pit of her stomach. All in all, she was begining to become terrified. She couldn't move or even speak. Nothing but tiny and faint sounds came out of her mouth.
"You just gunna sit there?" he hovered over her.
"Donny!"
He turned and saw that the sound of his name came from his mother. Amber stood tall with her arms crossed over her chest. She stood confidant and strong.
Donny just looked at her for a moment then threw his arms up and back down and staggered off elsewhere.
Amber moved toward the frightened Tara and sat next to her, "Tara? You alright?" She put an arm around Tara's shoulders.
Even though Tara found comfort in her mother's arms, she was still frightened of her brother, "I'm... Fine."
Amber sighed and brought Tara into a tight and loving embrace.
August
"Tara I might need you to stay a little late tonight." Ashley said as she scrambled to get her belongings, "My meeting may run a little late because... Oh, this whole advertising thing is just so complicated. Can you stay a couple hours later? I'll pay you." Ashley smiled.
With a smile and a nod, Tara agreed, "It's really no... problem, Ms. Williamson. I r-really enjoy spending time with, Monica."
Ashley smiled, "Tara, you can call me Ashley. And you, my dear, are a life saver! I can't thank you enough." she walked toward her door and stopped to put on a coat, "She really looks up to you, Tara. You do a great job." with a smile, Ashley left.
"Tara!" a shout came from the living room.
A little startled, Tara quickly made her way to the living and saw young Monica sitting on the couch watching "Might Morphin Power Rangers". Tara smiled as she saw the little girl watch without blinking, "What happened, Mon?"
"The pink ranger is my favorite!" she pointed at the screen when Kimberly, the pink power ranger came on.
Tara's eyes went wide. Wow, that girl, that actress Amy Jo Johnson, well she was just one of the hottest girls Tara ever seen on television. Her character, Kymberly, was a gymnist. Now that'd be something to get into, Tara thought. But her mind wouldn't function completely as long as the brown hair actress was on the screen.
"Watch with me, Tara!" Monica shouted excitedly.
Slowly Tara sat down next to Monica and stared with her jaw almost falling on the floor. She could not take her eyes off the TV screen. It just hooked her and wouldn't let go. The flow of the jumps and kicks and everything that Kymberly did. It was all just so entracing.
By the end of the night, Tara had her first celebrity crush: Amy Jo Johnson. She was a fine looking chick too. Once Ashley came home and paid Tara, she made her way back to her own house.
What a summer. Everything was grand and everything was going good. But still, the feeling of worry of the balance was getting to Tara. She couldn't help but worry. What between Heaven and Earth could take the equal of this bliss of happiness?
Author's Note: I've looked and looked and never understood the difference between Paganism and Wicca so... I'm making it simple for myself, Wiccans do witchcraft, Pagans are more spiritual. Shrugs If I'm wrong may some super natural being strike me down!
"Chapters"
September 1993
For the first time, Tara looked forward to going back to school. She was happier than he had ever been. What's not to be happy about? She was babysitting and making money, she bought art supplies, fixed the bow for her violin, and, oh, here's a goodie, she made friends: Adrienne Wilson and Tim Cunliffe.
It was the first day of school, a day Tara usually dreaded, but not this time. She checked herself in the mirror. Black converse shoes, nice blue jeans that fit perfectly, a long sleeve black shirt with little designs at the bottom, hair down, and a little black jacket that matched her little black back pack. She felt somewhat confidant in herself and everything else. That's a first, she thought sarcastically.
She picked up her back pack and made her way down stairs before Dale or Donny, dropped her back pack in the living room, then went into the kitchen to help Amber set up breakfast. Oatmeal and toast with orange juice, a nicely balanced breakfast.
"Mom? What should I set up?" Tara asked, waiting in the doorway.
Amber looked up from the stove, "Oh, good morning, Tara. Um, I suppose just set up the bowls so I could pour in the oatmeal." She stured the oatmeal one last time, "And the small dishes for the toast."
With a swift move to the cupboard, Tara did what her mother asked, grabbing four bowls and placeing them on the table. Then she went back and got four small plates for toast and set them next to the bowls. Seeing Amber busy with pouring the oatmeal, Tara took it upon herself to grabb some glasses for the orange juice. Once she was finished placing the glasses, she looked at the table and half smiled.
"So how'd that job treating you, Donny boy?" Dale said as he walked into the kitchen, stretching out his arms.
"Eh, pretty good. Can't complain. All I can say, at least I don't work with the actual garbage," he said then laughed as he and Dale sat in their usual seats for breakfast.
Dale looked into his bowl and saw the toast with just the right amount of butter. He breathed in the scent and smiled, "Mmm mmm. Amber this all smells absolutely delicious." He picked up a spoon and began to dig into his bowl of oatmeal.
Once everyone was done with breakfast, Donny and Dale left for work while Tara helped Amber clean up. "Oh Tara," Amber looked at the clock on the wall, "You're going to be late for school. You'd better hurry. I'll finish up in here."
"Oh, thanks, Mom!" Tara gave Amber a quick hug and went out the kitchen to get her back pack and out the front door and began her morning walk to school.
Ever since she was in elementary she had walked to school, but when she was young, Amber would walk with her and pick her up. But once Tara got into middle school, Tara began to walk alone.
October
"13! You're a teenager Tara bear!" Adrienne shouted out as she hugged Tara tightly and spinned her around.
Tara laughed aloud and once Adrienne release her, Tim came from behind her and picked her up saying, "Our little Tara is growing up!" he kept her in the air and began spinning in circles as he shouted, "You go girl!"
Again, Tara laughed hard. There they were, in the front of the school, in the middle of the grass, spinning her around and shouted out to the whole world that she was 13. Wow, she thought as she looked at her situation. This had never happened before, then again, Tara had never had friends before.
By the time Tim put her back down and they walked through the front doors of the middle school, there was 10 minutes til the bell.
"Hey Tara," Tim said as he began to look through his back pack, "Here's a little something to hold you over until Adrienne and I can do something for your birthday," he continued to look through until he finally found it. "Here is it!" He pulled out a small bag full of fruit loops, "The best frickin' cereal ever!" he handed her the bag.
Tara smiled and made a small laugh as she took the bag, "Wow, thanks Tim. They, um, smell really good." She hugged him.
At lunch time, the three friends went to their usual spot and sat together as they looked on the other kids playing basketball or football.
"Idiots! They play because that's what they want you to do!" Tim shouted, "You can't give in." he looked to Tara and Adrienne, "Don't give in! They want to program us like their little robots. Don't give into society." he finished with a grin.
"Um," Adrienne mummbled, "Right... Anyway, Tara, what does your family have planned for you?"
Tara thought for a moment, then spoke, "Well, probably wh-what we do every year. Small family dinner." she weakly smiled and nodded, "It's really not... That big of a deal. Really."
"Aw man Tara, you gatta let us take you out!" Tim exclaimed.
"Or at least come to my house." Adrienne interjected.
Tara shook her head, "I don't know. We always just have... A small family dinner. My dad, um, looks forward to... It." she shrugged.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Come over anyway!" she said with a big smile on her face, "If not today then some other day. Some day soon. Whaddya say? Say yes!"
Tara smiled softly, "I'll see wh-what my dad... Says."
Later that day when Tara came home, she came home to find that neither Dale or Donny were there. She was confused because normally Dale was home by the time Tara got home from school. Where could they have gone? Who knows. Trying not to let it bother her, Tara made her way upstairs to her room and dropped her back pack on the floor and plopped on her bed and hugged her pillows.
Now that was something she couldn't live without: Pillows. And her pillows were just perfect. They were so soft and the cases were always cool to lay her face on. She hugged one of her pillows tightly and closed her eyes as she layed on her side. It always helped Tara think better when she layed like this.
Lately, Tara had been doing a lot of thinking. And not about school or music or anything like that. Tara had been thinking about sexuality. This was something that began to scare her. Tara had never had crushes on anyone in her entire life. She was sure she knew the difference between a friendship liking and a crush, but now she wasn't so sure. This thought began to scare her because not only did she think she may have a crush, but what really scared her was that she feared it was on a girl. Specifically on Adrienne.
Yeah, she was definitely scared. Did this mean she was bisexual? A lesbian? Maybe it wasn't a crush, just some crazy thought. Yeah, it had to have been a crazy thought. Yes. There is a demon in there, she had to just keep herself kind of normal. She did not need any confusing feelings running around in her head. Especially about a silly thing like sexuality.
Still, thinking back, she never did have any sort of crushes on guys. But she always did look at certain girls in a different way... No. She shook her head vigorously. She needed to keep some feeling of normalcy within her.
She sighed, "Tara, you're going crazy." she told herself aloud.
She walked to her desk and pulled out her books and folders and began on her homework. As she pulled out a piece of paper and started the heading, she remembered about Adrienne wanting her to go over to her house. She closed her eyes at that thought and massaged her forehead. Of course her father would say no, especially since she was still in middle school. Dale believed that Tara should not go out and about to other people's houses unless she was already in high school when she was responsible.
But it was okay because Tara knew that this year was the last year of complete house arrest. Even though Dale would be tough on her during high school because she would be older, at least she would be able to go outside once in a while. But until then, Tara had to wait.
November
Tara decided to ignore the thoughts and feelings she'd been having and fell into a complete and utter denial. She made up her mind, she was being silly when it came to this sexuality thing. Should she talk to her mother about this? Would Amber understand? Or would she freak out and blame the demon?
Cursing herself inwardly, Tara thought about her question. Of course Amber would not freak and blame the demon. That would be Dale's job. Amber would never do that. She was the one who was always telling Tara that they didn't have demons. That they were just Wiccan. They were Witches. But good witches who wanted to protect the Earth and help people. Not disgusting, ugly, evil demons.
Once she walked through the front doors of the school, Tara was greeted by Adrienne and Tim. The three friends smiled at each other and all hugged and all that nice stuff. Making a quick scan on Adrienne, Tara noticed that Adrienne was still wearing all black, but also begining to wear more punkish clothing. Although, she did not go overboard at all. Tara made the hug to Adrienne extra long, only by two seconds.
When Tara realized she had hugged Adrienne that extra couple of seconds, she immediately let her go and backed up, "Um, sorry."
Adrienne blinked, "Huh? For what?"
"Oh, um, n-nothing." Tara smiled.
At lunch time, the trio met in their usual spot. It was getting closer to winter and the air was telling everyone that it would be here soon. As the friends sat there and breathed in the crisp Colorado air, they were quiet.
It was Tim that broke the silence, "Ya know Tara, I really wish we could've done something about your birthday."
Adrienne, who was laying on her back looking up at the sky, rolled onto her side and looked at Tara, "Yeah. We could still do something if you want?"
"Oh, um, no that's okay. It's already... Over," she smiled and sighed, "It's not... A b-big deal."
Both Tim and Adrienne's jaws dropped, but it was Adrienne who spoke, "Oh don't tell me your birthday is not a big deal, Tara. It is a big deal. It's your birthday. It's a good day to pay respects to the Goddess too."
Tara lifted her head at that. An eye brow went up and her jaw dropped, "D-did you say, Goddess?"
"Um yeah. C'mon Tara, I thought you knew I was Pagan." Adrienne said in a matter of fact kind of voice.
Tara shruged, "I d-didn't think... I mean, I wasn't sure if... I was afraid I m-might've been, you know, wrong." she weakly smiled.
"Tara," Adrienne moved closer to her, "You could've just asked. If you were wrong, who cares?"
"Yeah," Tim spoke up, "You could even ask her about her boyfriend and kiss!" he began to tease her by making kissy noises.
With that tease, Adrienne punched Tim in the arm, "Hey, anyone can make a mistake." she turned back.
"Manuel?"
Tara's eye widened, "Manny was your f-first boyfriend?" she was ready to laugh.
Adrienne buried her face in her hands in embarrassment, "It lasted for week!"
"Nikki?" Tim raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Tara turned to Adrienne with a confused look on her face. Nikki? She looked down at her lap. Did he mean that other punkish girl? Wait, was Tim implying Adrienne had a relationship with Nikki? So many thoughts and wonders were going through Tara's head and they were all confusing her even more than she already was. What the hell? Tara finally looked up and waited for a response from Adrienne.
Adrienne saw that both were staring at her, so she took a sip from her Sprite can then said, "Okay, yeah, I'm bisexual and made out with a girl... Nikki. She wasn't my girlfriend but, we just made out."
"How come you guys didn't... Become girlfriends?" Tara asked.
Adrienne thought for a moment, "She's wild. She's way into partying and doing drugs. All that crazy stuff." she shook her head at the memory.
After a couple of weeks, Tara came home one day and went straight to her room. The information that Adrienne was bisexual never hit her until now, a random day in November.
Tara walked inside her room and placed her back pack on the floor next to her bed and fell into the bed. She rolled onto her back and looked out the window at the sky. She smiled at the information, maybe she had a... No! Tara shook her head. Just because Adrienne was bisexual didn't mean she herself was bisexual.
With a huge sigh, Tara got up from her bed and picked up her back pack to get out homework. She looked through her agenda and saw that she didn't have any homework except reading one chapter in April Morning. She figured that she could wait on that little piece of homework for later. After dinner most likely. So in the mean time, Tara figured she'd try out her new paints.
December
The snow began to fall once again. However, unlike most of Colorado, the little town of Colorado Springs never got huge amounts of snow. There was never huge blizzards but it was pretty chilly.
Tara looked away from her new painting and smirked at it. Her first painting and it came out pretty decent. It was completely abstract and even Tara herself wasn't sure what it meant. Still, she shrugged and put it under her bed. While her hand was under her bed, Tara grabbed her shoebox and pulled it out and opened it. She took out her birthday gift from her mother, a scented candle in a metal container with little designs on it. She opened the lid and smelled it. So lovely, almost like roses.
After hearing someone coming inside the house, Tara quickly covered the candle and placed it back in the shoe box, back under the bed. She got up to her feet and started gathering her art supplies and putting them away. She grabbed the used paint brushes and the cup of water and went into the bathroom with them. Once it was all cleaned she went back into her room and put all the supplies away.
When Tara realized no one called her name, she went downstairs and found Dale looking through the mail. He heard movements and looked up and saw his daughter, "Oh, hello, Tara."
Tara stopped moving, "Hi, Dad."
Once he went through every envelope, he looked up at her and half smiled, "Did you have a good day at school today?" he motioned for her to follow him and he went into the living room.
Tara followed him, "Um, yeah. Today I learned about, um, viruses and...b-bacteria. How they... Infect our b-bodies."
Dale scoffed, "Right. Like that's important." He turned and looked at her and noticed the black and blue and green paints on her hands, "What's on your hands?"
Tara froze, "Wh-what?" She looked at her hands, "Um... It's... It's just... Paints, Sir."
Dale stood there, his nostrils flared, "Paints?" his breathing began to deepen.
Tara swallowed hard, "Y-yes... Sir. I-in m-my... art... class. W-we painted."
Dale scoffed again, "Art class? What did I tell you, Tara?" he grabbed her shoulders, jerking her, "Women do not need this art crap. Especially when you have an evil thing living in you." The anger was rising within him every second. His heart was pounding and his blood flowing quickly in his viens, "Dammit, Tara!" he backhanded her and she fell to the ground.
Tara leaned against the couch, quivering. She held up an arm over her face in defense, although she knew it would not be much of a defense. She wanted to badly to back up more but she couldn't with the couch there, so Tara began to move toward the side, trying anything to get away from her enraged father.
"Art? It's almost as bad as magic, Tara!" he grabbed her arm, hard, and brought her to her feet, "You're only feeding the evil in you." he shook her, "After all we've done, all we're trying to do, filling you with God and His love... You go and toss it away!" he hit her again. This time she didn't fall to the floor because he had held onto her, "I can't believe you, Tara. I really can't." he pushed her away and turned his back to her, walking away.
She was left alone in the living room. She had tried to hard to stop the tears from coming down her cheeks. But they came down anyway. She wiped them with the back of her hand as she made her way back upstairs to her bedroom. She felt so drained and weak. Once she got inside her room, she gently closed the door and dragged her feet to her bed where she fell into it and hugged her pillow. Then more tears came down. Why did she have to be so wrong? Everything with her was wrong.
After a few minutes, she rolled out of bed and sat on the floor. She reached under her bed for a different shoe box. After she pulled it out she opened it and took out some pictures. They were pictures of Tim, Adrienne, and herself. She studied herself on the picture and saw a ghost of a girl. Why did she always have to look scared? But Tara did find a lovely picture of the three of them. Tim made an "oh I'm so sexy" face, Adrienne stuck out her tongue, and Tara looked up at the sky.
She put the pictures back and took out a small box. She opened it and pulled out the ring inside. It was a ring that had a Celtic symbol on it, different sign than from her necklace. She looked at the ring almost longingly. It was a gift from Adrienne for her birthday. Another gift that Tara could not let her father see. She put it back in its box then again in the shoe box and back under the bed. She went over to her violin case and opened it pulling out her violin. She began with scales before moving onto actual music.
While she played, her thoughts ran through her head a mile a minute. All the same thoughts. She couldn't keep this to herself much longer. Tara needed to talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings.
January 1994
The school year was almost half over and then was the next big step: High School. Tara was almost scared about going to high school because of all the older kids, harder classes, and greater expectations. But right now, in the middle of 8th grade, Tara didn't want to think about the hard future that lies ahead of her. She wanted to focus on the present with her friends, with her life, and with her inner self.
Tara went down the stairs and into the kitchen where Amber was getting out food to make for dinner. Tara slowly walked into the kitchen, almost afraid to open her mouth about what she wanted to ask, but she knew she had to.
Amber had put about 6 patatoes in the sink then she turned around and saw Tara standing in the doorway with a downcasted face. She wiped her hands with a towel and asked, "Tara? Are you okay?"
Looking up at her mother, Tara smiled weakly, "Yeah... I-I think so."
Amber placed her hands on her hips and smiled at her daughter, "What's going through your head?"
Nearly breaking down, Tara asked in a shakey voice, "Is it wrong?"
A confused look washed over Amber's face, "Is what wrong?"
Tears began to build in Tara's eyes, "Me. Am I wrong?" The tears began to fall down her cheeks.
"Oh honey," Amber went directly to her daughter and embraced her tightly, "Tara, I really don't understand what you're talking about. But there is no way you're wrong in any way."
Never releasing the embrace, Tara said, "I'm confused, Mom. I d-don't understand."
"What?" Amber asked and she ran her hand through Tara's honey blonde hair, "What is it?"
This is it, Tara thought to herself, time to face the music. Tara pulled away from her mother's embrace and stared at her feet for a moment before moving her head to look at Amber. Her mouth was slightly open and her cheeks were stained with tears. Finally she said in a weak and very shakey voice, "Mom... I th-think... I might... l-l-like a... a..." she put her head down again and more tears fell.
Confusion was the only thing Amber could manage at this point, however, she had a feeling where Tara was going, "A girl?"
Tara jerked her head upward, her jaw just about dropped. Quickly, she shut her mouth tightly and nodded. Her cheeks were reflecting light, that's how wet with tears they were.
To Tara's suprise, sympathy and compasion could be read on Amber's face, not anger or disgust. Amber quickly hugged her daughter again in a tight and loving embrace, "Shh, honey. It's okay," she whispered into Tara's ear, "It's okay. There is nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all." She gently rocked Tara in a soothing motion releasing some of her energy to calm her daughter down while running her hand through Tara's hair.
All Tara could do was just let herself be held and rocked and whispered to. Crying always made her feel weak and sleepy afterwards and now she was feeling just that. She sniffed and looked up to meet Amber's eyes and she whispered, "Th-thanks, Mom."
Amber smiled and nodded to Tara as Tara made her way out of the kitchen, up the stairs and through her room. She fell on her bed, face first, into her pillows. She cursed herself for not having told her mother everything, but felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders just because she simply told her mother what she felt. And she was okay with it! Amber told Tara that it was okay, that it was not wrong!
With her head still dug in the pillow, Tara smiled. She was incredibly happy that she told her mother. Yeah, a weight was definitely lifted off her shoulders. However, there were many more blocks that had to be taken up, but they could wait.
From the doorway, Donny was staring at Tara. His mouth was shut tightly and his nostrils were flaring. His arms her crossed over his chest. His breathing was begining to deepen and he finally made his way inside Tara's room. He closed the door and locked it form the inside.
At the noise Tara shot up and turned to see her brother glaring at her. Fear rose inside her, she swallowed the giant lump in her throat, "D-donny, wh-what happened?" Her breaths were sharp and shallow while the terror was rising.
Donny slowly walked in, taking his time, arms still crossed. Without looking up to look at his sister, he said "I heard what you said to Mom." he continued to walk, very slowly, "That you might be a dyke."
Tara froze. Her heart stopped and her blood turned to ice. She felt all the blood drain from her face and her skin grew paler than what it was. All that was screaming in Tara's head was; Oh shit!
He finally looked up at her, still walking toward her, "I really can't believe you, Tara. I really can't." He stopped right in front of her, looking down on her, "You are actually letting that demon take over you. Liking other girls?" he began to grow disgusted, not a good combination with anger, "It's wrong and just completely fucked up!"
The anger was too much and he struck her with the back of his hand across her face so hard she fell to the ground. He made no move, he stared at the corner biting his lip and not blinking. Tara saw his fists were clenching hard, his knuckles were turning white and red. Donny's fist was shaking and then it traveled through his arm and his entire arm began to shake.
Without his head moving, Donny moved his eyes and looked at his sister, she was still on the floor supporting herself with one arm. So many thoughts were running through his head, and as much as he wanted, he decided against telling his father, "You... I..." he huffed and in a heartbeat he grabbed Tara by the neck and squeezed, "You are lucky I'm not going to tell Dad," he pulled her closer and whispered, "But you better not give me shit. Got it?"
She couldn't speak so Tara nodded as her vision began to blur, not because of a lack of oxygen, although that might become a problem if Donny were to squeeze any harder, but of tears. She kept nodding hoping that Donny would let her go.
Donny let her go, he saw her fall almost flat on the floor slightly coughing and breathing in air deeply. He rolled his eyes and sighed. Then he tightly closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Once his eyes were opened, Tara couldn't see anything in them. He started toward the door, then stopped. He didn't turn around, just stared at the door, "It's wrong Tara. It's wrong and evil. Dad won't like it and neither will God. You're going to hell." after that, he walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving Tara on the floor, crying to herself.
February
The month of love. The one month of the year everyone pretends to be happy and supposidly likes everyone else. And it's all so fake, always fake. Valentine's Day, the fakest day of the year.
Tara walked into her school, seeing all these kids, boys and girls, hugging, kissing, giving each other notes, cards, and candy. She never did enjoy this particular holiday, mainly because she knew that the cards she got were not sincere and just like every other meaningless jesture.
"Tara, hey," Adrienne said as she walked up to her friend, hugging her, "Happy Valentine's Day. I got you a little something..." she pulled her arm out from around her back and she held a card out to her with one hand, "It's not much."
Reaching out her arm and grasping the card, Tara looked at it. It was a hand drawn picture of a rainbow and clouds. It was beautifully done and only Adrienne could make it seem so peaceful. Tara smiled at it and looked up at Adrienne, "Thank you."
With a giggle and a roll of her eyes, Adrienne said "Open it."
"Oh," Tara breathed and smiled as she opened the card. There was writing on it, a poem:
Breaking Through
There's that shell around me,
I fight it but it won't crack.
There's that fog around me,
I bat it but it won't fade.
Voices tell me that I'm wrong,
I try not to listen.
Voices tell me to hide myself,
I jump through the glass.
You're there to help me.
You're there to carry me.
You're there to save me.
You're there to find me.
Tara bit her lower lip as she closed the the card up. No one had ever given her such a thing that came from the heart, except her mother. What got to Tara even more was that Adrienne had written it herself especially for Tara. She looked up at Adrienne and smiled gently, "Thank you so much. It's b-beautiful." she hugged Adrienne.
When she had release Tara, Adrienne took a step back, "It was nothing," she batted her hand in the air, "Glad you like it though. I kind of, put some thought into it." she smiled.
Tim began to make some wimper noises on purpose. Tara, with a smile on her face, turned to Tim and saw him clutching a bag to his chest. He had a puppy dog look on his face and a small smirk. Tara made a small chuckle, "Tim?"
He held out the bag to Tara with a huge grin on his face, "Open mine! Please open mine!"
A laugh escaped her mouth, "Okay Tim." Tara took the bag and peaked in. She put her hand inside and pulled out the contents. It was a diary. A silver diary with Japanese markings for peace and butterflies all over the cover. It was beautiful, "Oh my... Tim... This is... Lovely." She turned to him and hugged him. When she stepped back she said to him, "Thank you."
Tara took a step back away from Adrienne and Tim and looked at them. She felt so awful, she had nothing for them. Her head hung, "You guys... I'm s-sorry. I-I don't have... Anything for you." she looked up.
Tim laughed, "Oh please. I don't care at all. V-day is just another made up holiday that society made to make us waste our money. I'm telling you, they want us to think we have to spend money. That we need a day to tell someone that we love them. I mean, I don't need a day to say 'I love you' to anyone. If it be my girlfriend or you guys, no special day is nesessary." she closed his lips tightly and nodded his head strongly.
With a nod in agreement Adrienne added, "It's true. There's nothing authentic about it." She smiled almost knowingly at Tara. She tilted her head down and looked up. The corner of her mouth curled up into a half smile, "Only real thing is what comes from the heart."
Tara blinked a few times and smiled. She looked back down and kept the smile on her face, "Yeah," she looked back up.
It had been a while since the fake Valentine's Day, yet Tara still read that poem Adrienne had written her on a daily basis. She could not stop reading it.
After she read the poem about 50 times, Tara pulled out the diary that Tim had given her. She was already making her first entry:
I've always wanted one of these. Never thought of putting a "Dear Diary" though. To me it seems a bit... Adolescent, I guess? I don't know. I'm still an adolescent myself. Maybe that's why I'm so confused. Why am I confused? I never really liked anyone before. How do I know that... Well that's silly to ask, the answer is obvious. Any idiot knows the difference. But liking a girl? Liking Adrienne? It's got to be the demon in me making me think these things. It has to be. No normal person would would have these thoughts... Would they? Gods, I don't know. I know I preyed to the Goddess for my friends but... Could this be a price? No, why would it be? Well, chores are waiting for me.
She enjoyed having this diary to write her thoughts in. It was not only a way to remember small details that could soon become forgotten, but it was also fun. The diary became a book she carried with her everywhere. It was like her sketchbook. It was a part of her now, something that could not be taken away.
Once she closed the book she got onto the floor and pulled out one of the shoe boxes. She placed the card with Adrienne's poem and the diary inside it and closed it. Once it was slid back under the bed, Tara went downstairs to get her list of chores to do.
March
"Alright guys here's your project," Ms. Fellman started, Tara and Adrienne's English teacher, "As you know in The Giver, our hero is given the memories of the past. Now your project, and you can have a parter for this, I want you to make a poster, or a video, anything and have your memories put on there. But the reason why you need a partner, if you want, is for the world's events. What events would you think is most important and should be remembered?"
After their English class was over, Tara and Adrienne, walked out of the classroom and made their way outside to the front of the school and were greeted by Tim. They explained their project to him in the most annoyed tone. It was an extremely lame project to do.
"Lord! Today was too long of a day," Tim exclaimed as he stretched out his arms in the air, "What why the hell did you guys get an assignment like that?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Adrienne replied "Who knows. You know that Ms. Fellman is a weirdo. She's cool, but weird. Least I got a partner, if Tara wants to be partners?"
Tara saw the look on Adrienne's face. Althought Tara knew Adrienne was making the puppy dog face on purpose and for the sole purpose of being cute and funny, Tara could not resist, "Of course we can be p-partners." she smiled.
"Great! Now all we got to do is get together and do this cheesy project." Adrienne adjusted her back pack, "What do you want to do? Video, poster, what?"
Tara shrugged her shoulders, "I d-don't really... Mind. It's, um, up to you." she half smiled.
Those half smiles of hers were becoming trademark, both Adrienne and Tim noticed. "Well, I say we should do something big and incredible. A video, almost like a documentary, and have the storyboard and stuff?" she turned to Tara with a huge grin on her face, "What do you think?"
She made a small chuckle and looked down at her feet for a moment then looked up with a small smile on her face, "Sounds fun."
The two girls continued for a short time to talk about their plans for their project as Tim looked on. He never had a single class with them, except band, and that was a joke of a class. Never had they had concerts and never played outside of school so, it was more of a hangout hour. But still, Tim looked on and continued to admire the two people he cared most about in his life.
"Well, I'd better go. My dad, he, uh, w-wants me home by 3:30." Tara hugged them both, "Give me a call wh-when you... Want to get, um, together. For the... Project."
After Adrienne nodded Tara began to walk in the direction of her home. On the way home, thoughts and senarios of Tara asking her father to go over to Adrienne's house for the purpose of a school project were running through her head. How could she do this? Dale had a set rule about going out of the house. Tara was not allowed to, unless it was babysitting, to go out until she was in high school. Why was this a rule, Tara had no clue. It was pretty dumb.
Once she had gotten home, she went to practicing her violin. High school was coming up and she had wanted to make sure she was adaquet enough for the high school band.
About an hour and a half later, Adrienne had called. Dale had answered the phone, "Hello?"
"Hi!" Adrienne said, "May I please speak to Tara?"
Confusion hit Dale, "Tara? Who is this? Why do you want to talk to her?"
"I'm a friend from school. We're doing a project for English together and I just need to, um, run some stuff by her. For our project."
Dale scoffed, "I see. Hand on..." he set the phone down and went up stairs and knocked on Tara's door, "Tara, the phone's for you. No more than 5 minutes, got it? I wanna keep that phone line free." he went back down stairs.
"Yes, sir." Tara herself was hit by confusion, who the hell would call her? She thought. Once she picked up the phone, "H-hello?"
She heard Adrienne's voice, "Tara!"
"Oh, hey Adrienne." Tara remembered Adrienne was going to call her about their assignment.
"So I was thinking for our project... My sister is going to let us use some stuff and John, that's her husband, is going to let us use his video camera. We have to get together this weekend? My house on Saturday?"
Oh damn, Tara thought. The rule, that stupid rule! Maybe Dale would wave it for school. Maybe he might not. What is she going to do? "Um... Yeah. I'll h-have to ask though. I'll tell you, um, tomorrow. Okay?"
"Alright. See you tomorrow."
"Bye." Tara smiled into the phone as she hung it back up. Wow, Adrienne sounded beautifully on the phone, almost as much as she did in person. Tara stood there, looking as the counter for a few seconds then stood up straight and looked in the direction her father was in. Her smiled quickly faded for she was about to ask for something that was nearly impossible.
Making her way through the dinning room and into the living room, Tara stood right next to the chair Dale was sitting in. He noticed her standing there so he looked up at her, "Yes, Tara?"
"Um, Dad? F-for that project... My partner and I... H-have to, um, get to-together to...W-work on it." Tara swollowed, "Can I, uh... Go over to, um, her house this S-saturday?" she clenched her jaw.
He grabbed her hand, but to Tara's suprise, it wasn't hard or rough. It was gently, almost lovingly, "Tara, you know the rules. You can't go over to anyone's house until you're in high school. Right now you're far to vunerable and it's dangerous out there."
She opened her mouth and took a few breaths, she knew she had to choose her next words very carefully, "B-but we need to... W-work on this. It's for s-school." Dale didn't change his facial expression, "Wh-what if... She comes here?" Tara left a ghost of a smile after she had finished her question.
Dale thought about that for a moment. It was obvious that they did have to work on something for school and by denying them to work together, he would be hurting not just Tara's but another girl's grade. He looked back up at Tara, "Alright... But she can only stay from 3 to 7. After that she's got to go home. Understood?"
Tara smiled, "Yes, sir. Thank you."
Dale also smiled, "Good. Now, get back to your homework."
With a smile and a nod, Tara made her way back upstairs into her room. She gently closed the door and fell on her bed. She looked out the window to the sky and smiled again. This was absolutely wonderful. She couldn't go over to Adrienne's but that's okay because Adrienne could come over to her house.
Then it hit her: Tim. Poor guy, he'd be all alone. But Tara could most definitely not have a boy come over. Maybe not ever. Tara's smile began to fade and the feeling of guilt began to sink in.
On Saturday, Adrienne had came over and the girls made a poster, decorated it themselves, no pictures yet for the memories, but that was on the way. They ran through ideas for the video. Right before it was 7, they settled on making the video almost like dream sequences, it had been Tara's idea.
After Adrienne had left, Dale and Amber went up to Tara, "She's very nice. And polite." Dale said.
"She really is. I'm glad you have her as a friend, Tara." Amber added.
Dale nodded in agreement and both he and Amber went into the dinning room. Tara made her way upstairs and walked past her bedroom to get to the bathroom. She had to pass Donny's room first, "Your girlfriend is kinda cute." he said, not moving from his chair.
Tara stoped dead in her tracks, "Wh-what?" she asked turning her head to look into Donny's room.
He smirked, "You heard."
Slowly, Tara went into the bathroom, trying desperately to ignore her brother.
April
The year was almost over. More so, middle school was almost over. Only three more months and onto the next big step of the hell hole of life: High School. However, April was always a beautiful month when Spring really began to bloom. It was always beautiful seeing the green coming to life in the trees and the little flower buds barely begining to wake from their slumber.
And for the first time, Tara enjoyed seeing all these things, not to escape the harsh reality, but to embrace it. After all these years, Tara welcomed life.
She stayed in her bed a few extra minutes laying on her side, hugging her pillow. There was a small grin on Tara's face when she realized what date it was. It was Adrienne's birthday. Her friend turned 14 years old today, closer to adulthood. Tara had been waiting for this day for a while trying to figure out what kind of gift she should give the girl.
Finally Tara rolled out of bed and onto the floor. She smiled and giggled to herself at her sillyness of just rolling off the bed and landing on the floor. Something she hadn't done since she was 4 or 5 years old. She reached under her bed for an empty shoe box and pulled it out. Again she reached under the bed and pulled out another shoe box and opened it. From within, she pulled out the scented candle her mother had given her for her birthday.
Tara loved the candle and the metal container it was held in, mainly the design. Everything about the candle was wonderful and soothing. Especially the scent of it. It was just exhilarating to breathe it in.
A smile creeped on Tara's face, perfect. She covered the candle and placed it in the box. She rose to her feet and looked around her room. A stuffed animal would be cute to give, right? She found a small stuffed dog, something Tara had won in a game at one of the church's carnivals that her family would go to. She liked the dog but decided it would suit as a good gift. Tara looked through her drawer and found a sticker of Betty Boop. Where the hell had Tara gotten a sticker of Betty Boop? She couldn't remember where she had gotten it and frankly didn't care. It was cute so she placed it in the shoebox along with the stuffed dog.
She closed the box and sighed. She had bought nothing but had given Adrienne items that Tara held close to herself. She also added a nice little letter:
Dear Adrienne,
I hope these little things find you well. I know it's not much but I hope you like them anyway. Especially the candle. It ment the most to me so I'm giving it to you. Take care of it because it's a part of me that you now own.
Love,
Tara
There she was at school in the front just staring at the front door. She took a few deep breaths and finally walked into the school. Upon entering the school, she spotted Adrienne nearly surrounded by students she had seen, but never taken the oppurtunity to get to know. Tara definitely knew them, but they were mear lackies, never interested in important issues. Yet for some reason she felt slightly threatened, especially when she saw Nikki give Adrienne some flowers.
"Don't worry Tara," Tim said behind her putting his hand on her shoulder, "We mean more to her. All of them, they're nothing but phonies. I don't even know their real names." Tim smiled warmly at her, "We're not a part of their group, but we mean more to Adrienne than they do because she asked me to ask you to go to her house for her birthday today. Just you and me, not the rest of them."
Tara smiled weakly and sighed, "Wish I could. B-but my dad w-wouldn't let me." She looked down at the floor and frowned, "I would r-really love... to go."
"Maybe Adrienne can talk to him?" Tim offered, "He did say he liked her right?"
Once Adrienne had gotten away form those groupies, she made her way to Tara and Tim, "Hey guys!" she greeted.
Tim was the first to hug her, "Happy birthday, Chica." He smiled at her, "I will give you your gift later today okay?"
"Tim, don't even worry about it."
"Um, Adrienne?" Tara mummbled.
Adrienne turned to Tara with a questioning look in her face.
Tara held out the shoebox to Adrienne, "Um... It's, uh... M-my gift to... You..." she handed the box to Adrienne and saw that she had opened it, "I-its not... Much but... I hope you... Like it." she made a small smile.
"Wow," Adrienne nearly breathed, "Tara... This is lovely. The candle is beautiful, the dog it cute, and the sticker is adorable." She closed the box and hugged Tara warmly, "Thank you." she said in Tara's ear.
"Adrienne, call Tara's folks and put in a good word so she can hang today!" Tim exclaimed.
"Not a bad idea." Adrienne thought about it and she decided she would do it.
And it had worked. But she was only allowed to stay for two hours, which ment she was to be home at 6:30. That was fine, but what wasn't fine was that Tim couldn't be there until 5:30 so Tara would only be able to spend one hour with both of them together.
When Tara had gotten to Adrienne's house, she froze. She was actually there in front of her house. In front of Adrienne's house. Tara wanted someone to pinch her to make sure it wasn't a dream.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tara walked up to the door and knocked four times. In the few seconds after, Tara almost wanted to turn around and get away, then the door was being opened.
"Oh hey Tara!" Adrienne greeted as she opened the door. "Come on in."
Adrienne stepped aside and allowed Tara to enter. Upon entering, Tara looked around, "Wow," she whispered. She had never been to anyone's house before, except her aunt and uncle's. It was a completely new expirance for Tara, and she could not believe her father had let her come over. Whatever Adrienne had said, it must've been good.
With the first 30 minutes, Adrienne showed Tara around her house. She showed Tara her sister's computer, her brother in law's bass, and also showed Tara her own bass guitar. Adrienne even let Tara hold and tinker with her bass, Onyx was its name.
After the tour, they settled into Adrienne's room. Tara checked it out, it was very interesting. The walls were black and there were faerie lights hanging on the ceiling. Above the bed, a matress on the floor, there were christmas lights making the form of a penticle. Tara was definitely amazed by that, "Wow... The elements."
Adrienne smiled, "Yup. Told ya, Pagan here."
Tara smiled and looked at Adrienne's cabinet and noticed it was used as an alter as well. She stood, "Wow... That's amazing." From the corner of her eye, Tara could see Adrienne was smiling as she examined the alter. It was a beautiful Pagan design with candles and gems and... The candle she had given her. "Hey, my candle is in the middle." Tara said as she smiled and sat back down in front of Adrienne.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Of course it is. It's the most special." Adrienne smiled again and looked at Tara right in the eyes.
For a moment that seemed like an eternity, the girls continued to look at each other and smile. Tara kept smiling as she looked into Adrienne's eyes. In her eyes, Tara saw pain, sorrow, and love. Whatever Adrienne has in her past, she was not ready to share it yet. Tara felt so much as she stared into Adrienne's eyes. Yes... Tara finally knew, she liked her. Finally Tara can say she has a crush and it makes her feel like she's floating among the clouds. But what really confused Tara was the way Adrienne was looking at her too. Could the feelings there be the same? Slowly, Tara can feel herself leaning forward and Adrienne doing the same. Yet neither of the girls broke eye contact as both were leaning toward each other.
Then there was a knock at the front door and both girls jumped back away from each other, both blushing. Tara looked down at her lap with an almost horrified look on her face as Adrienne got up and took off to her door. She heard Adrienne and Tim greeting each other and walked into Adrienne's room.
"Alright girls!" Tim said aloud, "I got the cake and sodas so lets eat like pigs!"
The girls just smiled and nodded to Tim. It could become awkward for them from here on if they allow it to be.
May
Tara smiled and looked at Adrienne's cabinet and noticed it was used as an alter as well. She stood, "Wow... That's amazing." From the corner of her eye, Tara could see Adrienne was smiling as she examined the alter. It was a beautiful Pagan design with candles and gems and... The candle she had given her. "Hey, my candle is in the middle." Tara said as she smiled and sat back down in front of Adrienne.
"Well," Adrienne started, "Of course it is. It's the most special." Adrienne smiled again and looked at Tara right in the eyes.
For a moment that seemed like an eternity, the girls continued to look at each other and smile. Tara kept smiling as she looked into Adrienne's eyes. In her eyes, Tara saw pain, sorrow, and love. Whatever Adrienne has in her past, she was not ready to share it yet. Tara felt so much as she stared into Adrienne's eyes. Yes... Tara finally knew, she liked her. Finally Tara can say she has a crush and it makes her feel like she's floating among the clouds. But what really confused Tara was the way Adrienne was looking at her too. Could the feelings there be the same? Slowly, Tara can feel herself leaning forward and Adrienne doing the same. Yet neither of the girls broke eye contact as both were leaning toward each other.
Finally their lips touched and both girls could feel the sparks flowing throughout their bodies. Their lips moving with each other, slowly at first, but soon their pace quickened. Tara could feel Adrienne's tongue enter her mouth and could feel the passion and heat rising...
The blaring sound of beeps from the alarm clock on the shelf rang in Tara's ears. At first, Tara did nothing to shut it off. She cursed the alarm for going off before her dream had finished then she hit the snooze button before turning it off completely.
She stayed in the bed for an extra few seconds. It was almost as if a burden was lifted off her shoulders. Finally, she admitted to herself her feelings, and possibly her sexuality. That, however, was still in the grey. But at least now she can freely say that she likes a girl and that girl was her friend Adrienne Wilson.
But she knew she had to wake up and get ready for school. It didn't take much time for Tara to finish.
Once she had gotten down stairs, Tara came into the kitchen smiling, especially knowing it was Tim's birthday. Tara had spent the previous night making a sweet treat for him. She knew his favorite cereal was Fruit Loops so she made "Fruit Loop Treats", same as Rice Krispies Treats, but with Fruit Loops.
"You seem cheery." Amber noticed Tara nearly glowing.
Tara smiled shyly and a small blush creeped onto Tara's face, "Yeah."
There was definitely something going on in Tara's head, and Amber could see it. She lifted up an eye brow, "You have a crush don't you?" she teased.
"Mom," Tara said sheepishly. How did Amber always know?
But Amber knew exactly who the crush was on and she could not be happier. Amber smiled again, oh this would certainly embarass Tara beyond words, "It's Adrienne isn't it?" she smiled.
Tara's face turned absolutely red and her jaw fell open. Sounds, noised, and mummbles came out of Tara's mouth but nothing that could be understood.
"Sweetie, it's okay," Amber smiled lovingly, "I told you it's okay."
Facing the front doors of the school was something Tara has grown accustomed to. She held the tupperware full of the fruit loop treats close to her. She smiled inwardly and made her way through the doors. Almost instantly Tara was greeted by her two friends.
With a quick hug from Adrienne and Tim, Tara handed Tim the tupperware, "It's not m-much... But I know... How much you l-like... Fruit Loops so..." she shrugged and smiled.
Again Tim gave Tara a hug and opened the lid and smelled the treat. He smelled marshmellows and fruit loops and it smelled just wonderful and mouth watering. In fact, his mouth had begun to water. He took out a small piece and put it in his mouth and ate it. It tasted almost like heaven to him, "God, Tara..." he muffled, "This is great!"
Tara made a half smile, one that is quickly becoming trademark, "I'm glad you, uh, like them."
The day went by relatively slow, as usual, but when the day finally did end, Tim was more than happy to show his happiness, "Hellz yeah! This day went by way too damn slow!" she jumped onto a tree stump, "4 more years and no more you damn school system!" he shouted out and jumped back down.
"Tara," Adrienne said, "How much sugar was in those fruit loops treats?" she giggled.
All Tara did was just laugh and shook her head.
Once Tim was done with his shouting and jumping, he went up to the girls with a hug grin on his face, "We should see 'The Crow' today."
Adrienne's eye went wide, "Oh yeah, we really should. Not only is the story good, Brandon Lee... So hot..." she sighed.
Although the idea of seeing a movie with her two best friends seem absolutely wonderful, however, Tara knew that was definitely out of the question. She sighed, "I can't. I'm s-sorry."
Tim turned to look at Tara with a look of sympathy on his face, "Your dad?" Tara answered him with a nod, "I know the feeling. My dad used to be a total dick. But my mom finally threw his sorry ass out about two years ago. Easy going since then." He smiled, but not to gloat, just to let Tara knew that he understood.
Adrienne looked at both of her friends and she could feel each of their auoras and can feel their energies. Both had pain, as she herself did. "Hey guys," she spoke, "One day, we're all going to have a long talk." she meakly smiled.
The next day, Tim and Adrienne could not stop talking about "The Crow".
"The music was just kick ass! They had Pantera, The Cure-" Tim said.
"Nine Inch Nails!" Adrienne interupted, "And Tara, he was just drool worthy."
"The make up looked awesome!"
"And the story..." Adrienne closed her eyes for a moment then reopened them, "That poor guy, Eric... He went through so much."
"Wow... You guys are... making me jealous." Tara finally spoke.
"Don't worry, Tara," Tim said looking up from his hands, "When it comes out on video, we'll have a movie night." he smirked.
Tara smiled, "I'd l-like that."
And now it would be something else Tara could look forward to. A nice little movie night with her friends. Wow, now that is something she definitely would never have dreamed would ever happen to her. But she was thankful for it. She would always be thankful for her friends.
June
Three long years of middle school and finally, graduation was just around the corner. Adrienne had tried to dye her hair some warm color shade, but it somehow turned into a bright orange. Tara and Tim poke very little fun at it, but Adrienne didn't care. Tim pointed out, "There won't be any problem locating you in a crowd." he finished with a laugh that both Tara and Adrienne joined in on.
Then finally 8th grade graduation came. All the graduating 8th graders looked forward to this day for the past 3 years. It was 3 long, agonizing years that went by slower than a snail.
For Tara, it was yet another step closer to her "destiny" her father had bestowed upon her.
Both Dale and Amber were running around the house trying to rush to make it to the school so they wouldn't be late. Donny of course couldn't give a rat's ass about anything that had to do with Tara, so he took his sweet time in dressing and everything else he was doing.
Tara was wearing a simple black skirt with a semi fancy/semi casual maroon long sleeved shirt. Her hair was down and looked soft and shined in the sun light. She had on her feet black strapped shoes with a small heel. She looked not only beautiful but also angelic because her honey blonde hair shaped her face and mde her icy blue eyes shine.
Tim wore black slacks, polished black shoes, a black long sleeved shirt and a red tie. His brown hair was spiked up perfectly with gel tht made his hair not only shiny but smell just amazingly good.
Adrienne was the most unique of the three. She had dyed her hair purple, although it was ment to be blue. Her dress was a beautiful black gothic-like dress. It really brought out her eyes and pale, yet beautiful fair skin. She looked like a beautiful gothic faerie from pictures.
The graduation ceremony was long and it was hot. The auditorium had no air conditioning and hardly any ventlation. But once the 8th graders, about to be high schoolers, began to collect their certificates proving they graduated middle school, everything was wonderful. The room filled with proud eyes and smiles and tears.
"Oh God, Tara!" Dale shouted as he saw his daughter come out of the auditorium, he went up to her and hugged her tightly, "I'm so proud of you."
When he let her go, Amber came up to her with tears in her eyes, "Oh sweetie," she hugged her gently, "This is so wonderful," she whispered in Tara's ear, "I knew the Goddess would look after you. She still is." She looked at Tara in the eyes and kissed her forehead.
Donny didn't make a move at first, he just smiled with his hands behind his back.
Adrienne and Tim came up to Tara with huge smiles on their faces. Tim was the first to speak, "Man it's great to be out of that messed-" he took notice of Dale, "Hot and stuffy auditorium. I'm going to miss these past years."
"Me too," Adrienne said sincerely, "It was the most amazing time of my life. It's going to take a lot to top this."
"I'm Tara's father, Dale Maclay." Dale said holding out his hand to Tim.
It took a moment for Tim to actually take Dale's hand, but he was a bit hesitant when he did, "Tim Cunliffe."
Once they took back their hands, Dale said "We'll give you a few minutes. We'll be at the car." He smiled and then moved for the car being followed by Amber and Donny.
"Your dad's... Stern." Tim said with uneasiness.
"Yeah," Adrienne added, "I sense hostility. And a lot of anger. But your brother just down right scares me."
Tara smiled softly, "You know... Families... Make you crazy."
July
It was night time and Tara did what she had always done at the 4th of July. Dale would have a small BBQ with his friends from work and then would watch the fireworks once the night came.
Tara looked back at her year and smiled. Everything was good and very mellow. She hadn't gotten in trouble or even yelled at nearly as much as she had in the previous years. All was going smooth. But then Tara frowned. For every good there was always a balance of bad.
Unfortunately, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, much to everyone's dismay. Tara began to worry about what the fates have instore for her. She had been the happiest she had ever been, but what's going to balance it? What is going to happen that will balance the scales? Tara shuddered to think.
"Who's gunna cut the damn watermelon?!" Donny yelled as he came out of the house with a beer in his hand. Donny wasn't even 21 yet but Dale let him drink. Like father like son, Donny was not a nice drunk.
"Don't yell so loudly." Dale told him, "You want the neighbors to think we're low class idiots? Stop shouting so loudly."
Donny was on his 5th beer and was already feeling the alcohol running through his veins. Where he walked, he would wobble and come close to falling. The fool was a lightweight when it came to drinking, but he thought he could handle much more booze, "I really... Need some more." he said to Tara.
"Um, Donny, I think you've had enough." Tara said with concern.
"I've had enough?" he stared at Tara with glazed eyes, his mouth hung open slightly with the tiniest of drool threatening to come down the corner of his mouth, "I've had... ENOUGH?!"
Tara simply stared at her brother. Her lips trembled, she felt a knot in her throat, a stone in the pit of her stomach. All in all, she was begining to become terrified. She couldn't move or even speak. Nothing but tiny and faint sounds came out of her mouth.
"You just gunna sit there?" he hovered over her.
"Donny!"
He turned and saw that the sound of his name came from his mother. Amber stood tall with her arms crossed over her chest. She stood confidant and strong.
Donny just looked at her for a moment then threw his arms up and back down and staggered off elsewhere.
Amber moved toward the frightened Tara and sat next to her, "Tara? You alright?" She put an arm around Tara's shoulders.
Even though Tara found comfort in her mother's arms, she was still frightened of her brother, "I'm... Fine."
Amber sighed and brought Tara into a tight and loving embrace.
August
"Tara I might need you to stay a little late tonight." Ashley said as she scrambled to get her belongings, "My meeting may run a little late because... Oh, this whole advertising thing is just so complicated. Can you stay a couple hours later? I'll pay you." Ashley smiled.
With a smile and a nod, Tara agreed, "It's really no... problem, Ms. Williamson. I r-really enjoy spending time with, Monica."
Ashley smiled, "Tara, you can call me Ashley. And you, my dear, are a life saver! I can't thank you enough." she walked toward her door and stopped to put on a coat, "She really looks up to you, Tara. You do a great job." with a smile, Ashley left.
"Tara!" a shout came from the living room.
A little startled, Tara quickly made her way to the living and saw young Monica sitting on the couch watching "Might Morphin Power Rangers". Tara smiled as she saw the little girl watch without blinking, "What happened, Mon?"
"The pink ranger is my favorite!" she pointed at the screen when Kimberly, the pink power ranger came on.
Tara's eyes went wide. Wow, that girl, that actress Amy Jo Johnson, well she was just one of the hottest girls Tara ever seen on television. Her character, Kymberly, was a gymnist. Now that'd be something to get into, Tara thought. But her mind wouldn't function completely as long as the brown hair actress was on the screen.
"Watch with me, Tara!" Monica shouted excitedly.
Slowly Tara sat down next to Monica and stared with her jaw almost falling on the floor. She could not take her eyes off the TV screen. It just hooked her and wouldn't let go. The flow of the jumps and kicks and everything that Kymberly did. It was all just so entracing.
By the end of the night, Tara had her first celebrity crush: Amy Jo Johnson. She was a fine looking chick too. Once Ashley came home and paid Tara, she made her way back to her own house.
What a summer. Everything was grand and everything was going good. But still, the feeling of worry of the balance was getting to Tara. She couldn't help but worry. What between Heaven and Earth could take the equal of this bliss of happiness?