Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine. sniffles
A/N: This is written in homage to one of my favorite episodes of the X-Files. If you've happened to have seen it, you will notice the similarities. However, my story shall eventually veer in a different direction. In short, this fic will be about how Will and Liz's version of events are different…which I hope will be presented in a humorous manner.
'Bad Blood' takes place soon after the three PotC movies, and Elizabeth and Will have just been married (!) For those of you who don't know about Davey Jones, he appears in PotC: Dead Man's Chest as an evil undead pirate (captain?) to whom Jack owes a blood debt. This time, the undead pirates supposedly were underwater for quite some time, and now have barnacles encrusted in their skin. I'm writing this, making assumptions that Will and Liz did get married at the end, and that they did kill all of Davey Jones' crew. (Or at least they thought they killed them. Heh heh.)
Ch. 1: Introduction
A full moon hung over a Caribbean port town. A tall British soldier frantically ran away from the town and clambered onto the long docks, where a warship was waiting.
"Help!" he yelled, stumbling and crying out in terror. "Somebody, please help me! They're going to kill me!" The navy man, who was sporting a red coat, was an easy target for the two men in dark clothing who gave the chase. "Drop a rope; let me on board!" he cried as the warship continued to sluggishly make its way out of the bay. The approaching footsteps sounded much louder, therefore the man decided to take a daring chance – he dove into the water. Quickly swimming towards the ship, the exhausted soldier slowed to catch his breath, believing to be out of danger. He relaxed, treading water as the moon fell behind the clouds, making it harder for him to see. But then he heard two more splashes; it seemed that his pursuers had no intentions of letting him escape alive.
"Grab the rope, man!" A sailor called from on board the British warship 'Dauntless'. Taking furious strokes, the man finally grabbed the rope and was hauled through the water as the sailors strained to tow him to safety. The man had almost made it over the side of the deck, but as luck would have it, his assailants successfully shot him from the water. When the sailors pulled the man onto the deck, they saw that he had been fatally shot. The first officer was informed of this unfortunate incident, and in an attempt to catch the murderers, he ordered
"Sail the ship sail back to port! Now!"
Seeing their goal accomplished, the navy man's killers swam back to the docks. They were met by a breathless young woman in a cotton dress, whose shiny auburn hair had fallen from its neat bun.
"Will! Jack! What are you doing swimming at this time at night?" Elizabeth Turner glared down at her new husband and old friend. "I thought you were following that lead on…"
"We were and we did!" Will triumphantly interrupted her. "Mission accomplished, dear." The men climbed out of the water and tried to wring out their dripping black clothes. "The last member of Davy Jones' crew is dead; we don't have to worry about him hurting us ever again."
"It wasn't pretty," Jack added, wobbling unsteadily around on the dock. "But we managed ta get a few good shots in him. All we have ta do now is wait for tha' ship to return and make sure the body is buried with the bullets wedged deep inside." Elizabeth let out a long sigh of relief; at last they were finally free the evil pirates.
"Oi! You three! Don't move…you are under arrest for murder," a voice yelled from the darkness. The trio sighed, and waited for the ship to dock so they could set the sailors straight. "Alright, hands above your heads!" A dozen redcoats disembarked and trained their guns on the Turners and Jack. The first officer asked, "Did you murder the man who we hauled onto our ship minutes ago? No lies!"
"Now that you mention it, yes we did!" Sparrow answered brightly, as the soldiers frowned, and clutched their guns tighter. "But really mates, we were doin ya a huge favor because the man tha' we killed was an undead pirate member of Davy Jones' crew." The first officer sneered at the pirate.
"I told you – no lies!" Jack began to protest that he was telling the truth, so the naval officer ordered him gagged. Soon they also tied his hands after the pirate continued his muffled yelling and waved his arms drunkenly.
"He was telling the truth!" Will shouted, his fists clenched. "Look at the body – it's encrusted in barnacles. We had every right to kill a man who was after us!" The officer rolled his eyes and muttered an order to bring the body. Two sailors hastily obliged and soon returned carrying the now deceased man, who sported two wounds to the chest. Unceremoniously, they plopped the waterlogged uniformed body in front of the group; it fell to the ground with a loud 'squelch'.
"Now, does this look like the body of an 'undead pirate' to you, sir?" The first officer folded his arms across his chest in satisfaction as Will gaped at the undoubtedly human body.
"Oh sh-" Will's last syllable was muffled as the soldiers placed a gag in his mouth. The first officer then turned his attention to Elizabeth, who was staring exasperatedly at her husband.
"And you, madam? Were you involved in tonight's unpleasant events?" She sighed and shook her head 'no'. "Well, thank heaven for that," he commented. Elizabeth decided to try her luck, relying on her perfect manners that she had been taught, seemingly, from birth.
"Sir, if you could let me accompany my husband and my, uh, friend to our home? We simply must sail for home, please? I know there will be a trial and it would be best if it were held in familiar surroundings." The officer shook his head.
"I'm afraid I don't have extra time to spare. I'm following orders from the governor of Port Royal to retrieve his daughter, who apparently went gallivanting off with pirates." Elizabeth winced. Sheepishly, she admitted that she was in fact Governor Swann's daughter and that they would all go home willingly, and without a fuss. The officer seemed satisfied and told her that the ship would leave for Port Royal the next morning.
A week later, Port Royal
After the Turners and Jack had arrived home, Commodore Norrington was given complete jurisdiction over the murder 'case'. At Elizabeth's begging, he allowed Will and Jack to stay at the Swann mansion, as long as they stayed inside. True to his word, the Commodore had the entrances to the Governor's home crawling with soldiers. There was no way the prisoners could escape their fate.
Will didn't sleep well the night before the trial, so it was no surprise that he awoke early and went down for breakfast before the other members of the household (minus the cook) were up. Apparently Elizabeth hadn't had such a great night either, so she wasn't far behind her husband.
"Will," she said, timidly as she entered the dining room.
"Don't!" Don't even start with me, Liz." Will took out his frustration on his poor orange, beating it to a pulp. The rest of his breakfast is left untouched for now. "I know what I saw!" Elizabeth walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Will sighed. "I'm sorry, love, I shouldn't be taking this out on you. But I'm just frustrated – the man we were following definitely did not look human." She stared at him glumly; knowing all well what would happen if he pleaded that story.
"Norrington wants our versions of what happened around high noon. What are you going to tell him?" She looked at her husband expectantly.
"What do you mean what are you going to tell him?" asked Will in disbelief. "I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw." He bristled at the skeptical look on his beautiful wife's face. "What are you going to tell him?"
"I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw," she answered, bristling right back at him.
"Now how is that different," Will demanded. Elizabeth's face was devoid of emotion. "Look, sweetheart, I'm the one who may wind up going to jail here," said Will, gently squeezing her hands. I want to know if you are going to back me up or what?"
"Of course I'll back you up," she said, slightly frowning at him. "I don't want my husband to go to jail anymore than you want to go to jail. I would probably miss you…after the first five years or so." Will chuckled at her joke. They both knew that each couldn't stand being away from the other for more than a day. Elizabeth and Will were still basking in their newly-wedded bliss, and their love grew stronger every day.
"However, I wasn't present when you – overreacted. I'm not the one who shot the gun at one of the British navy men."
"I did not overreact," Will vehemently stated. "That man was from Davy Jones' crew!"
"Where's your proof?" She asked, with one eyebrow raised.
"You're my proof!" He exclaimed, giving her a confused look. "You were there while we were searching for him." Elizabeth sighed and shrugged. "Okay, now you're scaring me. I want to hear exactly what you are going to tell Norrington." Elizabeth stared knowingly at her husband.
"You mean you want our story straight."
"No, no I didn't say that," Will corrected her. "I just want to hear it the way you saw it."
"I don't know, Will. Wouldn't that be unethical?" He just glared at her until she finally gave in. "All right," she said, warily.
"Okay, start at the beginning."
"The very beginning?" asked Elizabeth, appalled. Will pouted and gazed at her with his piercing brown puppy dog eyes and she immediately gave in. "Fine."
"Thank you, my love." Elizabeth nodded, giving him a half-smile. Will settled himself comfortably in his chair as Elizabeth began to speak.
"Three weeks ago, you came bursting into the dining room, and interrupted my quiet lunch with Father. Once you'd dragged me from the room, you proposed that we end our honeymoon two days early so that we could go on a high-seas adventure with Jack Sparrow…"
End Ch. 1
A/N: So what'd you think? Is it any good? I know it hasn't been funny yet, but this was just the intro. The real story begins in the next chapter. Please review! Thanks bunches.