Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine. However, Joe Dumbell and Ned Ironjaws are my creations.

A Big Thanks to my (drumroll) two reviewers! And thanks to the other 40 of you all who read it. Hey, at least I got you to click on my story. I guess that's a good thing..

Captain-Ammie: You are so sweet! Thanks for reviewing…that wasn't even a funny chapter it was just the intro, lol. I really appreciate the review, it made me smile. :D

SenatorSolo: Aw, girl that makes me really happy. I try very hard to write well…and not just post any old thing. Never fear, I am continuing on. Don't worry, my story has absolutely nothing to do with the X-Files, other than there was a vampire episode that had Mulder and Scully telling both of their exaggerated versions of events. Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Ch. 2: Calm Elizabeth vs. Overbearing & Irritating Will

Elizabeth Turner had just begun to tell Will exactly what she was going to tell Norrington about the incident.

"Three Mondays ago, I was just starting to dig into my salad when you came bursting into the room. In your haste, you failed to notice that when you jerked the door open, the shock waves caused my father's glass to tip, spilling wine all over his lap. Although I vehemently protested, you believed you had something terribly important to tell me, and dragged me out of the room by my elbow. For some reason, on that particular Monday, you were, uh, characteristically exuberant."

"Elizabeth, there's something I need to tell you straight away," Will says insensitively, as Elizabeth massages her elbow.

"Alright, Will. Tell me what is so important that you needed to interrupt my only private time with my father," Elizabeth says calmly and maturely.

"How would you like to leave Port Royal for awhile, you know, get away from routine life? How would you like to go on another adventure?" Will asks her excitedly.

"Well, it is our honeymoon, dear," answers Elizabeth. "After all that's happened to us, I thought it might be nice to settle down for a bit…" Will plows on as if he hasn't heard a word.

"I just received a letter from Jack, who said it was urgent that he pick us up in the Pearl today. Won't it be great to see him again!"

"Yes, but I never actually agreed that we should go," Elizabeth points out. "This is rather sudden, Will. Shouldn't we think about this before we just go off and leave?" Will shakes his head no, and rolls his eyes.

"Come on, Elizabeth, we've go to go. Jack is already here, waiting for us! Hurry up and pack your things; the Black Pearl leaves in an hour."

"Hold on, Will," states Elizabeth, gently but firmly. "How come Jack wants to see us so badly?"

"One of his old friends told him that a member of Davey Jones' crew survived, and that he is out looking for revenge. Jack says he'll be after anyone named Sparrow or Turner. This of course, now includes you."

Elizabeth replies, a tad perturbed,

"Why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning?" Will shrugs indifferently.

"I've got to go meet Jack…you can carry your own things to the docks, right?" Elizabeth sighs in annoyance as Will leaves without hearing her answer.

"So, that very day we sailed for Tortuga," Elizabeth's narration continues. "Jack quickly filled us in, claiming that the crewman we sought was somewhere on that heathen island. After arriving that next week, we made our way to Jack's favorite tavern, The Faithful Bride, as Captain Sparrow was having a large craving for rum. It was there that we met Jack's old friend –"

"Joseph Dumbell," says a handsome young pirate, wearing a shirt with ruffles along with a showy hat with a plume. "But you may call me Joe." He doffs his hat and grins.

"You Jack's friends?" he says. Elizabeth smiles back at the pirate.

"Yes, I'm –"

"Mr. and Mrs. Turner," says Will, breaking in annoyingly. "So, let's get down to business. When was the last time that you've seen this crewman?" Joe gestures toward the bar, where Jack is already seated, guzzling a large bottle of rum.

"Shall I by you and the fair lady a drink?" asks Joe, gazing at Elizabeth appreciatively.

"Thank you, but no," Will tells him coldly, possessively putting an arm around his wife's waist. Joe shrugs and they walk to the bar and have a seat.

"Well, this man we're looking for goes by the name of Ned Ironjaws. We think he's been staying at an inn not far from here. Now, I have reason to believe that Ironjaws knows that Jack and I are on to him, but as he doesn't know what you look like…"

"We could stay at the inn and keep a lookout for him," Elizabeth suggests. "It would make the most sense; why not look for him where we know he's going to be?

"That's mighty kind of you, Elizabeth," says Joe with admiration.

"Elizabeth?" Will scoffs. "He never even knew your first name." Elizabeth says, primly,

"Are you going to keep interrupting me or what?" Will goes quiet, and she continues.

"That's mighty kind of you, Mrs. Turner." Jack, having finally drained his bottles, tries to get up from his stool and teeters unsteadily. Will and Joe leap up to steady the drunken pirate, who tries to shoo them away without success.

"I can walk by meself," Jack growls in frustration. Joe shakes his head at the wasted captain.

"You just got here, mate. I was hoping we'd have some time for catching up before you conk out on me. Ah well," he sighed in regret, as Jack yawns, ignoring his company. "I'll let him stay here with me, in the tavern. Help me take him up to my room?" Will gives him a terse nod, and they help guide the inebriated pirate back to Joe's room, with Elizabeth carrying Jack's effects.

"So when will we see you tomorrow?" asks Will. "I'd like to get started on finding Ironjaws right away." Joe heartily slapped him on the back, and Will grimaced.

"Good man. I'll pick up you and your wife as soon as Jack can function – no later than midday. Is that agreeable?"

"Oh yes," Elizabeth smiles at him warmly. "That would be quite convenient."

"Oh, I almost forgot; the name of the place where Ironjaws is staying is called –" Joe was hit with a sudden coughing fit, and Elizabeth had to lean closer to him to hear what he was saying.

"See you tomorrow then," says Will, dragging Elizabeth out of the tavern before she can say goodbye.

"So we checked into the Rosebud Inn." Will coughs, and corrects her.

"The name of it was actually the Redford Lodge." Unruffled, Elizabeth narrates,

"That night, at the Redford Lodge, we asked the owner if he knew of a Ned Ironjaws that was staying at his place.

"No, M'am, I don't have anyone registered under that name." Not yet deterred, Elizabeth asks,

"Please, sir, could we have a look at your records anyway? It's very important that we find him." The old man sighs and let them peruse the worn, dog-eared record book but they can't find a Ned Ironjaws anywhere.

"There, you see, no Ned Ironjaws has stayed here. Now, let me show you to your room."

The owner leads them down a long corridor and unlocks room number forty-two with a loud 'clink' and leaves. Will and Elizabeth set down their luggage and get ready for bed. As they climb under the covers Will gazes at her suggestively.

"C'mere Liz…" He tries to pull her to him, but she (somehow) resists.

"Not tonight, Will," she tells him, with a hint of regret.

He pouts, "But it's still our honeymoon after all."

"And you are the one who wanted to sail with Jack to this god-awful place. I've just been on a week-long sea voyage. Will – I'm exhausted," she admits. "Besides, we'll need all of our strength if we are going looking for Ironjaws tomorrow."

"Maybe you'd rather fantasize about Joe instead," Will accuses her, frowning. "I saw the way you were staring at each other."

"Will! I was not," she protests. "Stop acting so jealous just because another man finds me attractive! I married you, Will. Don't forget that." He sighs and mumbles a barely audible apology. "Try not to jump to conclusions next time," Elizabeth wisely tells her husband. They share a good night kiss, and she takes her time getting situated in bed. "I love you, Will," she whispers. She receives no answer, for has already fallen asleep. Shaking her head in amusement, Elizabeth tries to fall asleep while Will's loud snores fill the bedroom.

"The following morning, you rudely shook me awake, for you thought it was vital that we start our search for Ironjaws at dawn…"

End Ch. 2

Was it funny? Stupid? I'd like to know. Stay tuned for more Uptight Will and Friendly Elizabeth…see how they interact in chapter three!