Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine.

A/N: I'm just not feeling the love here. I'm probably going to put this on the back burner until PotC 2 comes out, as I'm concentrating on my other (well reviewed) fic. Unless I get a ton of reviews of course.

SenatorSolo: Thanks for being supportive. I've included some more funny parts with Jack this time. :D

MrsBloomthefirst: Aww, thank you so much! Don't worry, I will finish it, eventually. This time, Will tends to exaggerate a bit more than Elizabeth did, lol. I hope you like it!

Ch. 3: Whiny Elizabeth

"That's it?" Will asked incredulously. "That's what you're going to tell Norrington?" Elizabeth smirked as she watched him squirm uncomfortably. "Geez, Elizabeth if you tell it like that, you make me out to be some sort of ogre." Will shook his head at her. "Is that all you're going to tell him?" She stared at him thoughtfully.

"Well, that and the fact that it took the four of us a week before we found Ironjaws. And that you and Jack believed that the soldier you were pursuing was Ironjaws. Then I heard screaming and found you and Jack in the water near the docks."

"Great. I'm going to jail now for sure." Will smacked his forehead.

"Don't be so sure about that. I'm going to argue that your zeal to catch up with the man was stemmed from the rum that you and Jack consumed that night." Will eyed Elizabeth disgustedly and points an accusatory finger.

"You are afraid to tell the truth." Elizabeth put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Excuse me?" Will sighed, and scratched his goatee.

"That's not the way it happened at all! I mean, what are you afraid of? That if you tell it the way it really happened, that you'll look like an idiot? Like me?"

"Alright Will." His wife gives in. "Why don't you tell me the way you think it happened?" She smiled sarcastically. "Starting at the beginning." Will turned away indignantly.

"You're damn right," he muttered. "Three weeks ago, an unexpected visitor came to the smithy. After I warmly greeted Jack, he told me the disturbing news about how Mr. Ironjaws was out to kill us. Captain Sparrow couldn't stress how important it was for you and I to go with him; that we'd never be safe until the man was found. Since this matter applied to your safety as well as mine, I agreed to Jack's offer to sail us out of Port Royal without a second thought. I agreed to meet him down at the docks in a couple hours, and then raced home to tell you. Yet when I found you eating lunch with your father, you seemed characteristically less exuberant."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," Will says politely, nodding to Governor Swann. "But I have news that I must share with your daughter in private." Elizabeth's father gestures that she can be excused.

"But Will, I just started eating my salad!" Elizabeth protests. "Can't it wait until after lunch? It can't be that important," she whines with bitchy negativism.

"Actually," chuckles Will, "it is. Come out into the hall and I'll tell you all about it." He takes hold of her arm and gently steers her from the room. "Elizabeth, I –" He didn't get to finish as he was rudely interrupted by his new wife.

" Will, I've spent almost every hour with you this week; can't I spend a little time with my family?" She shook her head and frowned at him. "Sometimes you can be so selfish." Will sighs, knowing now was not the time to object.

"I'm sorry, love." He gently pats her arm. "I'll try to be more respectful in the future." She nods at him, as if to say 'yes you will'. Narrowing her eyes at him, she finally asks, "What is so important that you needed to interrupt my only private time with my father?"

"Not wanting to scare you," Will narrates, "I tried to present the trip as an adventure, a sort of extended honeymoon."

"How would you like to leave Port Royal for awhile, you know, get away from routine life? How would you like to go on another adventure?" Will asks her carefully. "I just received a letter from Jack; he said that he'd pick us up in the Pearl today. Won't it be great to see him again? It will be just like old times!"

"You have some nerve, Will," she sneers. "For God sakes, it's our honeymoon!" answers Elizabeth. "And you'd rather spend it with Jack on some adventure." Poor Will stammers,

"But you'd be there, it's not like…" She cuts him off again.

"Gosh, Will; why do you always have to make such rash decisions without consulting me first?" Elizabeth complains. "That's what married couples do you know… communicate. She emphasizes the last word and crosses her arms. Will raises his eyebrows at her.

"Married couples also try to work out their problems calmly and maturely."

"Are you saying that I'm not discussing this with you calmly?" She threatens, her eyes blazing.

"N-no," Will stammers. "You're calm." She nodded at him, her nose aloft. Annoyed at her pretentiousness, he mumbles under his breath, "it must be that time of the month…"

"What was that?" Elizabeth barks.

"Nothing," Will sighs, holding his hands up in defense. "

"You know, I think you aren't telling me everything. Why does Jack think is it necessary for us to leave so soon?" she suspiciously asks.

"Because I told Jack that we would leave today. And a surviving member of Davey Jones' crew is out to kill anyone named Sparrow or Turner." He says the last sentence in a rush. "One of Jack's friends has located him on Tortuga, so we are going after him before he can find us." Wincing, Will prepares himself for the inevitable verbal onslaught. An infuriated Elizabeth replies,

"Why the hell didn't you just tell me that from the beginning? Did you think I couldn't handle truth, that I'd be a frightened little girl who would beg to stay home?" Will shrugs, and opts to stay silent. "Alright, I'll go with you to Tortuga," she gives in. "But don't expect me to enjoy it!"

"I really wasn't going to," he mumbled under his breath. "I've allowed you three hours to freshen up and pack before Jack has to leave. When you are finished packing, can I help you carry your trunks down to the docks?"

"No thank you; I can manage myself," Elizabeth tells him, tartly. She brushes past a startled Will, leaving him standing alone in the hallway.

"So, we arrived at Tortuga after a week's journey," Will's narration continues. "Jack needed to restock the Pearl with rum, so we paid a visit to his favorite tavern, The Faithful Bride. Upon entering the bar, I made an observation that you didn't notice – several customers were moving away from the bar, as if they didn't want to be seen associating with Jack. Apparently your mind was somewhere else."

"Woah…" breathes Elizabeth, watching Jack's handsome pirate friend swagger his way through the bar to meet them. She smiles goofily at him. This time, though, Joe Dumbell has a goofy set of buck teeth.

"Yeh mus' be Jack's frien's. "I'm Joe Dumbell."

Elizabeth frowned, causing Will to stop his story. "He had big buck teeth?"

"He had a slight overbite," conceded Will.

"No he didn't!" Will smiled at his wife smugly. "And that's significant?" asked Elizabeth. "How?"

"I'm just trying to be thorough," Will replied.

Elizabeth dreamily smiles back at the pirate.

"Yes, I'm Elizabeth. "

"And I'm Will Turner, her husband." He shakes the pirate's hand diplomatically, who eyes Will warily. "So, let's get down to business. When was the last time that you've seen this crewman?" Joe gestures toward the bar, where Jack is already seated, guzzling a large bottle of rum.

"Shall I by you and the fair lady a drink?" asks Joe, gazing at Elizabeth appreciatively.

"Thank you, but no," Will tells him politely; putting around his wife's waist. Joe shrugs and they walk to the bar and have a seat next to Jack. The pirate tells them about Ned Ironjaws and how the only lead he has is the name of the Inn where he stays. Out of the blue, Elizabeth offers,

"…We could stay at the inn and keep a lookout for him." Will notices how she bats her eyelashes at Joe.

"Why that's mighty nice of yeh, Elizabeth. I'll pick yeh and yer husban' up when the sun shines directly overhead. That aint too early is it, Miz Turner?" asked Joe, with his buck teeth protruding more than ever.

"Oh no," Elizabeth replies as she smiles dreamily at him. "That would be perfect." Joe toothily grins back.

Jack, having finally drained his bottles, tries to get up from his stool and teeters unsteadily. Will leaps up to steady the drunken pirate, who tries to shoo him away.

"I can walk by meself," Jack growls in frustration.

"Hey Joe, a little help here?" asks an annoyed Will. Dumbfounded, Joe stares at him for a second, before he grabs Jack's other side. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yulp," answers Joe.

"Can Jack spend the night in your room?" The pirate stared at Will, confused.

"Now why would I want him te do tha'?" Will groaned.

"Maybe because he has nowhere else to stay! That is unless you want to take him all the way back to his ship."

"Nah, that'd be too much work," Joe seriously concluded after awhile. "Let's take 'im on back." The two men prepare to help the inebriated pirate to Joe's room when they realize Jack's effects are still sitting at the bar.

"Elizabeth, would you be a dear and bring Jack's effects?" Will asks. She snorts and looks at Will like he is crazy.

"Ew, no way am I touching his dirty old things. Who knows where they've been!" Shaking his head, Will sighs and scoops up Jack's belongings in one hand, and uses the other to hold onto Jack. Eventually, they get Captain Sparrow settled in for the night.

"So when will we see you tomorrow?" asks Will. "I'd like to get started on finding Ironjaws right away." Joe heartily slapped him on the back, and Will grimaced.

"Oh, I almos' forgot!" Joe smacks his forehead, causing his hat to fall off. The bumbling idiot turns around swearing and finally picks up his ridiculous hat. "The name of the place where Ironjaws is staying is called –" He seductively whispers the name into Elizabeth's ear. She nods and thanks him profusely.

"We should probably head out; it's getting late," Will tells Elizabeth gently. She is obviously still enamored with Mr. Dumbell, as she has completely ignored Will's last statement. Will looks jealously at them. "Elizabeth? Darling?" Will lightly touches her on the elbow and she jumps.

"I'm coming, William!" she gripes, and finally allows her husband to lead her out of the bar.

"So we checked in at the Redford Lodge. You asked the owner if Ironjaws had stayed at his place, and he told us that he had no record of a customer of that name. It was getting late so we had the innkeeper show us to our room, and we got ready for bed."

Will and Elizabeth set down their luggage and change into their nightclothes. As they climb under the covers Will gazes at her lovingly.

"C'mere sweetheart…" He tries to pull her to him, but Elizabeth pushes him away.

"Good heavens, Will," she says, exasperated. "Is that all you think about?"

He gently points out, "But it's still our honeymoon after all."

"Yes, it is." She glares at him. "And I've sacrificed the last of my honeymoon for you, by sailing to this wretched hell-hole. I'm exhausted, and my head hurts," she gripes. As an afterthought, she adds "We'll need all of our strength if we are going looking for Ironjaws tomorrow."

"Maybe you'd rather fantasize about Joe instead," Will accuses her, frowning. "I saw the way you were staring at each other."

"And what if I was?" she challenges him. "Stop acting so jealous just because another man finds me attractive! You shouldn't let that bother you."

"Well, it does! I love you, Elizabeth, and I don't appreciate it when you behave that way." Will sounds hurt as he tells her this.

"I was just having a bit of fun," she defends herself. "I do love you Will, more than you know."

"I'm glad to hear it," he grumbles.

"Next time I won't be so flirtatious."

"Next time!" says Will.

"I'm only joking," she hastily replies. "Good night, my love."

They share a quick kiss and Will falls asleep immediately.

"The next morning, we began our manhunt and after tracking a few leads that week, Jack and I stumbled upon Ironjaws. We chased him through the streets of Tortuga, although at one point, we lost sight of him before catching up to him at the docks. When Jack and I reached the end of the docks, we saw that he was in the water, not far from a navy ship. We jumped in after him, with Jack keeping his pistol above the water. The navy was hauling him aboard, and Jack knew this was our only chance, so he shot the man. And then we saw back to the docks, found you, and then the navy sailed back and arrested us."

Will looks expectantly at Elizabeth when he finished his story.

"Well, other than the fact that you made me sound like an absolute bitch, I'd say our stories tally up."

"Oh good; getting your stories straight?" Jack Sparrow finally came downstairs for breakfast. He always slept in, and today was no exception. Looking extremely well-rested, it seemed that fact that he had to face Norrington didn't faze him in the slightest.

"Yes," admitted Will.

"No," denied Elizabeth. Jack just laughed at her, and she glared at him.

"It's not a bad idea, 'Lizbeth," said Jack. "You'd make a good pirate yet." Elizabeth sighed.

"Will, please keep reminding the Commodore that you were drunk."

"Would you stop that!" hissed Will.

"It couldn't hurt," Elizabeth reminded him. Just then the Commodore entered the room. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack leap to their feet.

"I was drunk!" Will blurts out. Norrington sighs, blinks, and addresses the trio.

"I want you back in Tortuga. The man that you killed has disappeared; his body's gone. And what's more, the guard at the morgue was found dead. Now, as much as I hate to say it, this is more your area of expertise." He nodded to Jack, who smirked back. "But after dealing with those, ah, cursed pirates, I'd rather not endanger my men any further." The commodore cringes, but continues his speech. "Perhaps you were right about the man that you killed. If you can find him, and bring him back you will be cleared of all charges." They all breathe a sigh of relief; Will and Jack weren't going to jail!

"Thank you so much, James," said Elizabeth. The Commodore nodded mutely. "My men have been ordered to turn a blind eye to a ship called the Black Pearl if it leaves within the hour. I suggest that you get moving." Jack grinned at Norrington.

"I knew I always liked you." Shaking his head, the Commodore left. Jack and the Turners quickly made their way down to the docks and readied the Pearl for her next voyage.

End Ch. 3