-Chapter 17-
Afiona almost didn't see Lance off. Only Daric and Medren calling her a coward had sent her out that cold grey morning. She had prepared a Companion med-kit as she had promised and was holding it close to her chest. Daric had Nico for the day so she didn't have the buffer the colt provided. To make it worse, her dreams had left her shaken and jumpy and tired. Once again she had found herself watching out of her brother's eyes as he had revealed his sadistic nature to another woman. Afiona had been helpless to do anything until his rage was spent, releasing her into the night.
Lance was checking the last straps on Carmia's tack and didn't hear her approach. She paused for a moment, almost tempted to leave but she could feel Medren's eyes watching her. He certainly was meddlesome at times. She pushed the memories of the night to the farthest reaches of her mind and tried to act normal.
"Do you need anything else?" Afiona asked, announcing her presence.
Lance stared at her for a few seconds. "I didn't think you would come."
Afiona stopped a few feet from him. "I promised to bring you a Companion med-kit. I wouldn't let me being uncomfortable get in the way of Carmia's health."
"So now I am making you uncomfortable?" Lance asked, obvious exasperated.
Afiona closed her eyes and steeled herself. Her old instinct to run flaring up.
"I don't understand you. First you act like you are interested, then you have a touch-me-not attitude, now I make you uncomfortable." Lance gestured widely, not noticing Afiona's flinching. "Why can't you just make up your mind?"
Afiona dropped her bundle and ran, leaving Lance staring after her blankly.
She ran across the bridge, into the Companion's Field, straight for the leafless trees at the far corner. Her sides were aching when she finally reached a half hidden copse and fell to the earth. Slowly her panic faded, leaving her feeling frightened and lost.
Tears poured silently down her face as she buried her face in her knees.
~ * ~
Lance stared at the package she dropped blankly, is if he had never seen the likes before.
:What happened?:
:I warned you months ago. She warned you months ago. Your anger scared her enough to make her panic and flee.: Carmia said, obviously annoyed with her Chosen. :Think about it, how badly damaged does a Healer have to be that she can't bear the closeness of the Healing bond, something the others find great solace and balance in? I have been telling you to wait until she was ready.:
"Ready for what?" Lance asked as he picked up the bundle. Liquid was forming a dark patch on the fabric. "Something broke when she dropped it."
:Ready for anything. You saw her scars.: Carmia levelled a disappointed glare on her Chosen. :Those were not caused all at once. They were caused over three years where all she wanted to do was make people love her. She can barely remember most of those years, only the worst incidences have remained clear. To make it worse, every time she feels trapped, especially when she is asleep, she uses her Farsight to escape. Often her own fear will draw her to her brother, who inflicted the worst of the damage.:
"How do you know all this?" Lance studied what he could see of the field.
:I know because we made it our business to know who would be raising Nico.:
"If she is so damaged why did you leave him with her?"
:Because she is the best to train him.: Carmia said, exasperated.
Lance started toward the field when his parents' voices stopped him.
His mother wore practice armor with her greying brown hair wound up in a knot that could fit under a helm. His father was clad in a standard Herald's uniform with a book under one arm, his paler hair had receded several inches giving him a rather befuddled look that often caused others to underestimate him. As the Dean of the Collegium it was often in his favor to be underestimated. How two such disparate people fell in love often baffled Lance.
"Already to be off?" His father greeted him with warm grin and a paternal hug. "Say farewell to your lady yet?'
Lance blushed. His parent's still hadn't met Afiona. "Actually you just missed her."
His mother cocked one eyebrow and studied him. "Did you two fight? Something's bothering you."
Lance wished his mother wasn't so intuitive. "We fought, sort of. I was just going to find her to apologize."
"You should be off." His mother warned and took the wet bundle from his hands. "I can relay your apologies."
"I also need to see if she another one of those made." Lance took the bundle back. "It's an emergency kit for Companions."
"Really? What's in it?" His father eyed it, his endless curiosity obviously peaked.
Lance reluctantly opened the bundle, almost unwilling to share what ever she had enclosed. Almost hoping she had tucked a letter in the fabric explaining her odd behaviour.
Two of the carefully packaged glass bottles were broken. Each of the nearly dozen bottles had been labelled with contents and directions. Packets of herbs similarly labelled were wrapped in waterproof cloth to prevent them from being spoiled. No bandages had been included, she must have assumed he would already have them from the standard kit. He was disappointed nothing personal had been included.
His mother drew out the two broken bottles. "It says it is a preventive tonic for malnutrition and this one appears to be something to calm her if she is severely injured. You can replace them when you get down there. I doubt you need them before then."
Lance glanced one more time towards the field and accepted the kit back. He tucked them in the saddlebag containing the kit for humans reluctantly and embraced his parents.
"Take care." His father admonished.
"And make sure you practice against someone who knows what they are doing. No sense losing your edge." His mother added. "I'll talk to your lady, if you fought she probably needs some time to cool down."
"Tell her I am very sorry about everything." Lance said as he swung into the saddle.
His father chuckled. "You sound married already."
Carmia cantered smartly out the gates. :Give her time. And you can write her.:
Lance adjusted his grip on her reins and turned his attention to the road ahead. :Can the other Companions keep an eye on her?:
:Of course they will.: Carmia assured him. :They have kept a close watch on her to date.:
Some how Lance wasn't reassured.
~ * ~
Afiona's sobs stilled at the approach of strange hoof beats. Instinctively she tried to draw further into the shadows of the tree but her bright green robes refused to be hidden.
"Who's there?" A voice called. "I can feel you all the way from the palace."
Someone dismounted and walked towards her.
Before Afiona could flee again a strange peace fell over her.
King's Own, Herald Jisa, stepped into the clearing and stared at the obviously distressed Healer. "My Gods, Afiona. Are you alright?" She knelt next to her and touched her cheek, feeling for a temperature.
Afiona flinched away from the simple contact. "I-I-I'm s-s-sorry." She managed to sob.
Jisa's expressive face was filled with concern as she pulled Afiona closer so her head rested on her white clad shoulder. She had Felt a blast of total panic that lasted several minutes followed by overwhelming despair. She doubted Afiona was even aware of projecting. Something had frightened the Healer badly, enough for her to react like her life was in danger.
Afiona sobbed brokenly against her. Horrific images hit Jisa, battering against her shields.
Jisa quickly extended her shields over Afiona to keep others from sensing her. Taver stepped into the glade.
:I will get Bardaric. Perhaps he could calm her.: Taver volunteered. :I will watch Nico until she is better. A story should keep him from searching for his mother.:
:Thank you. I can't imagine what the poor little thing would make of this.:
Suddenly Afiona fell limp against her. It was like she was no longer in the body resting against her.
:She did it again.: Taver cursed and left.
Jisa manoeuvred her so she was lying flat on her back, her golden brown eyes staring blankly up at the sky. :Is this a fit of some sort?:
:No, she just fell into a trance.: Taver assured her.
~ * ~
Afiona suddenly felt no cold or wind. Jisa was no longer beside her. Even in her distraught state she knew what happened.
She was still shaking with emotional release as she surveyed her surroundings. The walls were lit by torched in sconces spaced several metres apart. In this state she saw the same as if her Healing sight was invoked and the dark, sick, taint crawling over the walls reminded her of a dying patient.
She made no sound as she climbed to her feet. She started shaking worse than before as her eyes fell on the banner displayed between two torches. Four dark stains about the size of a finger tip dotted one corner.
Don't hit me! The voice seemed to come from the very stones. I didn't mean too!
Afiona pressed herself against the wall. Her eyes wide.
I'm sorry!
:Stop it!: She screamed but she made no sound.
What did I do? The plaintive little voice wailed.
Does it matter? An almost golden voice answered.
Afiona pressed her hands against her ears, a useless defence.
:Afiona, come back to me, I will keep you safe.: The voice was warm and familiar and filled with unconditional love.
She found herself back in her body. Someone was feeling for a pulse.
"What do you mean we can't call the Healers?" A stressed female demanded.
It took Afiona a moment to place the voice; Herald Jisa.
She was quaking like a leaf again as she opened her eyes. Several Companions were gathered above her and her head was resting on Jisa's lap.
"Thank the gods, you are awake." Jisa sighed. "Are you alright?"
She slowly nodded. The shock of suddenly returning to her body was enough to snap her out of the fear's hold.
Daric nuzzled her cheek. :Thank you for coming back.:
"Do you need anything?" Jisa thought of the last time she had seen Afiona after a trance.
"Just bed." Afiona's voice was raspy from the sobbing.
Jisa helped her to her feet and on to Daric's back. "Why didn't you tell me you were Chosen?"
Afiona wound her shaking hands in his mane. "Sorry."
Jisa swung up behind, Taver was still entertaining Nico. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I am needed as a Healer." She said. "I can't fight like a Herald."
Jisa started to protest when Taver stopped her.
:She is right, she would be only another Herald, as a Healer she can do much more. She probably would fall apart the first time someone yelled at her.:
:Then why was she Chosen?: Jisa asked.
Taver couldn't, or chose not to, answer.
~*~
Nico looked over his shoulder at the palace. He hadn't seen his Mama-Afi in a while and he was starting to worry.
:Nico, don't you want to listen to the story?: Taver asked.
Nico looked back up at the great stallion guiltily. :Where's Mama-Afi? Why is she sad?:
Taver stared at him for a moment. :You can feel her?:
:She's sad.: Nico repeated. :Does Demon know she's sad. He doesn't like her being sad. I don't either.:
Taver tried to stop the colt as he hurried to the room he shared with Afiona and Demon. :What about your story?:
:Mama-Afi is sad, I go make her happy.:
Taver shook his head as the determined colt stumbled, recovered, and continued running.
Nico slid to a stop in the garden, barely missing his father. :Where's Mama-afi?:
Daric nuzzled his neck. :She's is inside.:
:Is Lance coming?: Nico asked. Often, when Mama-Afi was worried Lance would come and help her.
:Lance had to go away.: Daric tried to explain.
Nico stared at the ground for a long moment. :Why?:
:Because he has adult work to do.: Daric tried to explain.
:But he's got to be here!: Nico stomped his small hoof.
:Nico, adults have duties that sometimes call them away.:
Nico dashed around his father and scurried inside. Afiona was sitting on her chair rubbing her forehead. A sign she wasn't happy.
Nico stopped in front of her and lay his head on her lap. :Mama-Afi?:
She dropped her hand and gave him a weak smile. "Hey sweetie. Where's your papa?"
Nico loved the sound of her voice. :Papa is outside. Are you sad?:
Afiona scratched his forehead in his favourite spot. Nico felt sorry for the other foals who's Mamas didn't have hands. "Just a little sad. Sometimes people just get sad."
Nico heaved a sigh. :Cause of Lance?:
Afiona actually laughed. "Is every man in my life trying to match us off?"
:What's that?: Nico asked.
"Nothing honey." She placed a kiss on his forehead. "Lance had to go away for a while but he is going to miss us."
:Then he should stay.: Nico said firmly.
"He wants too but his duty won't let him." Afiona stared out the open door at a worried Daric.
:I make you happy.: Nico said suddenly. :I tell you a story about Afi.:
Afiona rested her head on one hand and listened intently as Nico's heroine chased the barn cat and hid in the straw. A wonderfully plotless and innocent story.
Afiona was surprised to find herself actually laughing as he mimicked the characters in his story, often with hilarious results.
:Mama-Afi is happy now?: Nico asked.
"Yes. Thank you." She kissed his forehead. "What have you learned from papa today?"
:I learned that you are not called a two foot.: Nico said solemnly.
"Oh, what am I called?"
:Mama-Afi of course!: Nico exclaimed.
A soft knock was all the warning they had before the door opened to reveal Jisa.
She stared at an obviously revived Afiona. "You are obviously feeling better."
"It is hard to feel depressed around Nico." She explained.
:What's depressed?:
:Sad.: Afiona explained.
Jisa leaned against the door jam, studying the pair for a long moment.