Part Three - New York City

I once told Michael I would follow him anywhere.

It was one of those heat-of-the-moment-tangled-in-each-others-arms things that slipped out without warning or permission. I tried to ignore it, to act like I didn't say that-cool Maria and cool Michael didn't say things like that to one another. We hovered around the big stuff. After all, what were words anyway? Anyone could enunciate syllables or exchange longing glances across a room. Max and Liz? They were a dime a dozen thing, movie material, fodder for pop singers.

Michael and I had both grown up having words flung at us, vocabulary was a weapon for people to hurt us, a way to be abandoned and left behind all over again. We didn't use words. We didn't talk about things like that. We let most things go unsaid. We agreed it was better that way without ever discussing it-just one of those things you know about the significant person in your life like "don't eat the last pop tart" and "never talk during a Bruce Springsteen song."

But I had said it.

"I would follow you anywhere, Michael," I whispered, hiding beneath his sheets and trying to avoid his steely gaze. He was shocked, I could tell. His breaths had rapidly fired out of his nostrils and the hairs on his arms were sticking up, like he was on alert, like basic instinct had kicked in.

"I would never let you do that, Maria," he had replied after what felt like hours of agonizing silence. He kissed the top of my head, brushing his thumb over my eyelids-a trademark move that liquefied my insides and he knew it-and lifted himself out of bed.

We never spoke of it again.

Even that day when a choice had to be made. When I had to make a choice and that never-quite-forgotten moment in time ran through my head like a bad flashback montage from a John Hughes movie. When I decided not to follow him, not to provide him with the chance to say, "don't do that, Maria," I had my eyes locked on him. He didn't meet my gaze, looking at his boots, fiddling with his pockets, his eyes anywhere but near mine. He was already far away and I wondered if he was remembering that day too, praying I didn't come.

God, things were simple that day. Michael's bedroom. Sunlight filtering in, landing on my skin and creating dancing shadows on the walls. Michael with his arms around me, smelling like Snapple and the generic soap from the store, and it felt like one of those mornings where you could lie there, congruent with the peaceful quiet and your soulmate, and be content for the rest of your life.

It was rarely so simple with him, considering the circumstances and constant air of danger, and I think that's why it felt natural to say that. Because deep down I wanted that. I wanted to follow him, to be a couple with him. In that flickering nanosecond, I had thought, I could do ordinary with this man. I could be the PTA mom and Michael could be the Little League dad-if Little League dads put Tabasco Sauce in chocolate milk and PTA moms constantly looked over their shoulder for the next catastrophe trying to harm her husband.

God, what was I thinking? I would follow him?

Of course, it was true.

But he didn't want me to follow him, so I stayed.

And here I was, in some dive motel that rented by the hour, looking for clues that would lead me right back to where I started. A therapist could have a field day with my broken psyche. I was a wailing chick song waiting to happen and it was only going to end badly. Feelings in the gut never lied, right?

"Maria, look at this," Jesse said for the fifteenth time since the creepy desk attendant had allowed us in the room for an easy fifty and a quick grope of my ass. He pushed a dust-covered bureau away from the wall, sending clouds of mites into the air, settling in my hair and lungs.

I coughed, waving the debris away from my face, and said, "Jesse, are you sure we should be moving things around?"

"They were here."

It was like his mantra. The past two days he had repeated it hundreds of times, mostly for my benefit, and I wanted to melt him with my eyes for it. If I had a nickel for every time he had uttered those words, I could've retired and escaped this crap for a pampered existence on the Mediterranean. He was infuriating me with his positive attitude; a simple reassurance as I drove us down the highway had slowly become unbearable.

I never noticed how long the interstate was-how slowly three hours between Boston and New York could feel-until I had to drive south while Jesse created our "plan of attack." I watched him out of the corner of my eye, the doubt in his own eyes masked by the night sky, and nodded when I thought I should, mustering faith that I wasn't sure I possessed.

The road was long and dark, a deserted island of pavement during the vast hours of the night, and I noticed how we both turned to look into the windows of random vans that we passed.

Some things would never change.

I hummed to the radio as Jesse babbled on about their last location, about how New York was the key. We would find them. We'll find them, Maria. We'll find them.

I couldn't help but think, "What if they don't want to be found?" I didn't say that though. I smiled and said, "I know. But I'm not sure redecorating this dump-"

"I feel something," Jesse said, extending his arm further behind the wall. I moved over, trying to help him push the bureau aside, and he repeated, "There is something back here."

"It's probably a dead rat. It would explain the smell," I commented.

Jesse glared at me, an all too familiar "Maria, you aren't helping the situation" look, as he grunted, reaching a bit further, before finally pulling out a long envelope filled with cash. Jesse examined it and said, "Someone left in a hurry if they forgot this." He tossed the envelope of cash into the air for effect, something out of a cop drama from the seventies.

"We don't even know that it was theirs, Jesse. Have you seen this place? You could be interfering with a drug pick-up," I replied. My gut was aching, like all this investigation was bad for the stomach lining, and I added, "We should keep looking and not jump to conclusions."

"The guy at the market down the street said that Max had inquired about a job and that he used to see him and his friends walking around," he stated like I hadn't been there.

At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to find Michael. If for no other reason, then to point at Jesse and scream, "He's fucking crazy. How does Isabel put up with him?" Even though I knew love made people tolerate things that they wouldn't normally be able to. Look at Michael.

God, what I wouldn't give to look at Michael again.

"I know," I replied. I studied the small place. I focused on the bed, trying to imagine Michael lying there, Max staring out the window-always preoccupied with what was coming rather than what was happening at the moment-while Liz sat on the floor by Max, always by Max.

In the midst of my imagining, my eye caught on a glowing tint beside the night table. The phone had been positioned carefully to hide it. Had I not seen the glow before, had my eyes not memorized the strange silvery hue on Liz's stomach, it would have remained undisturbed.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my mind tricking me and filling me with Michael's comforting aroma, and I pushed the phone aside. Sure enough, there it was. The entire wall behind the table had been altered. I pushed the table aside and knocked on the wall, listening for a hallow echo that would tell me if this was a hiding spot. I motioned to Jesse and said, "There's something back there."

He was the one to look skeptical now, "What?"

"Isabel, Michael, or Max was here," I paused and traced the coloring on the wall, "No one else could do this. One of them must have blasted through the wall and put something in here before fixing the wall. But why? Why put something in there unless you're planning to come back for it?"

"Unless they had to leave in a hurry and didn't get a chance to return."

"No, if it was important enough to put in here"

My voice trailed off when footsteps from the stairwell became louder and louder, traveling toward us. Someone was coming this way. Jesse quickly crossed the room to stand next to me and we both noticed the doorknob turning. He pointed to the bathroom, pushing me into the room before him, and I quickly ducked for cover. A rush of adrenaline hit me, wondering if this was it, the reunion I wasn't sure I could stand to have, thinking that Michael had returned for whatever was in that wall.

The thought passed as I heard two unfamiliar voices arguing in hushed tones and immediately knew that wasn't one of my friends.

"Two down, three to go," a voice stated. My eyes fixed on the envelope of cash in Jesse's back pocket and I prayed that we weren't about to get killed for stealing a drug lord's stipends.

"The key has to be here somewhere. The girl was holding on to it that day in the park, but it wasn't on her when we cornered her."

"She could've given it to one of the others, Marty."

"I don't think so. It seems to have attracted other problems for the kids. I don't think they would keep it around them. Might not be too smart."

"Well, start looking then."

Jesse kept his ear against the door. I groaned. This was not how I pictured my life ending, in a dirty bathroom in China Town with Jesse. I pulled at the window, swearing when it opened a crack before sticking. I put all my energy into raising it, noticing the ladder within reach, but the window wouldn't budge. The ransacking was getting louder and it was only a matter of minutes before the two men searched the bathroom. I grabbed the back of Jesse's shirt and pointed to the window. I whispered, "We need to get out of here."

"They've got one of them."

"Well, they're going to catch us if we don't get out of here, Jesse. We can't risk it."

"We need to find what those guys are looking for first, Maria."

"Trust me. They won't find it, but they will find us. What do you think they're gonna do to us? They'll either kill us or use us as bait. Do you want to be responsible for getting Isabel captured?" I replied, trying to keep my voice from raising and alerting the men to our presence.

It seemed to snap Jesse out of whatever funk he was in. He moved me aside and tried to lift the window. He managed to get it up enough for me to slide through. I stepped out on to the fire escape, throwing my bag over my shoulders. Jesse tossed me the money and said, "I'm not going to fit."

I groaned and glanced down. I tried to mentally calculate how quickly the two of us could climb down two flights on a ladder. I tried in futility to get the window to open more. I noticed the two men through the main window and said, "Step back, Jesse."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm breaking the window so you can slide out."

"No. Maria"

He had no training in Stubborn Maria 101 and I said, "I'm not leaving you here."

"Fine. Get on the ladder. Start down. One of us needs to have both legs working," he ordered. I didn't argue, there was no time, and started down the ladder. I watched as he backed up and kicked the glass out and hurried out on to the fire escape.

I saw the two men rushing to the bathroom and hollered, "Jump Jesse. You've gotta jump."

He did, landing perfectly on filled trash bags as one of the men stepped out on to the fire escape. I wanted to stop and applaud him, recommending a job on a movie set as a stunt double, but there wasn't enough time. Jesse jumped to his feet, considering our best route while I stared down one of the thugs. Creepy looking man, a scar above his left eye, and a familiar silhouette, but I didn't recognize him.

Jesse took my hand and we ran around the corner. We knew we couldn't stay here, but we weren't sure where to go. He led me down the alley, pushing on back doors to cafés and small stores that lined the block. Finally, on the last try, the door opened and the two of us rushed in.

We found ourselves in a salon surrounded by curious gazes from customers and angry looks from the employees. I smiled and apologized, "Sorry, we thought that was an entrance." We walked at a quick pace toward the front of the store, trying not to draw further attention to ourselves. Jesse peeked out the window while I tried to act as inconspicuous as possible.

He waved to me, "I think it's safe."

"Okay."

I stepped outside and started to walk down the street, blending in with the people getting off work. Jesse fell in step beside me and said, "That was close."

"There's something not right about this, Jesse."

"We need to get back into that hotel room. Go back later."

"We're not going to be able to get back in there. Those guys will be waiting for us and shitwhat if we'vewhat if one of our friends was supposed to go back for this key thing?"

"You think?"

I made my way down the steps of the subway. One of our plans had been to use the traffic and population of the city in our favor. Whenever things got too hairy, although up until that point it had just been our paranoia, we disappeared on to crowded streets or subway trains. I slipped a token into the machine and walked to the train platform.

Jesse came up behind me and said, "Then we need to stake the place out."

"No. This is wrong. We're causing more problems, Jesse."

"Are you giving up?"

"I don't know. If they wanted us to find them, if they were in real danger and needed our help, they would've gotten in contact with one of us."

"How?"

"What?" I replied over the rattling of a subway train into the boarding area. The doors slid open and groups of people exited before more people, including myself, could replace them. I took a seat in the corner, staring out the window for any sign of men in suits or the creepy guy with the scar.

"Maria, no one knew you were coming to Boston. Even if they did, did you think they could call you and say help? They couldn't risk it."

"Exactly! They can't risk it, Jesse. I don't-"

"Two of them have been caught. The guy said they caught two of them. He mentioned a she. That means it's either Isabel or Liz."

I knew what he was doing and fuck if it wasn't working. I had never been a girl that was popular or made hundreds of friends. It wasn't my style and my heart wasn't strong enough for that. But those few friends I had, those people I let in, had my undying devotion. I would protect them the best ways I knew how and if they were in danger, I would become the ferocious mama bear.

I had always expected that to be metaphorically though. I never thought I would find myself contemplating Liz's eminent demise and trying to figure out if I should even bother to get involved.

"I am involved, Michael. Whether you like it or not. I'm involved in this now," I had once said to him. Funny how I couldn't remember that when they were departing.

"Maria," Jesse said, forcing me out of my memories.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here. I don't," I replied to a question he didn't ask. I felt the hot bubbling of tears about to escape and bit my lip, "We may have made things a hundred times worse for them, Jesse. What if we're doing all of this out of misplaced guilt for not going with them? What if our stupid machinations get them killed?"

"I'm not giving up. Something isn't right here. Those weren't federal agents. Trust me. I've grown accustomed to the looks of the men that followed me around and those two men weren't working for the government. I need to know what else was going on before they left, Maria. Was anyone else after them?"

I laughed bitterly, "If it wasn't one thing, it was another, Jesse."

"We won't know exactly what we're dealing with until we get whatever is hidden in that wall."

"How do you plan to do that? What superpowers do you possess that I don't know about? Can you make yourself invisible? Otherwise, we're screwed."

Jesse stood up as the subway slowed down for a stop. He extended his hand to me. I knew I only had a brief second to think. If I didn't take his hand, he was going to do this alone. And I couldn't let him do that. If he got himself killed, it would be on my conscience. If I let down one more friend, I would have to commit myself because it would drive me insane. Besides, I imagined Isabel invading my dreams night after night until I blew my brains out if something happened to Jesse.

I stood up slowly and groaned, "Oh, we're both so stupid."

"Maria, I need you to think like Michael."

I laughed mirthlessly as I hopped off the train. I folded my arms and said, "Nobody else in this universe thinks like Michael. Just when you think you can figure him out, he does something completely different to further confuse you."

"But you knew him better than anyone."

I shrugged, "Jesse, we need a better plan than thinking like Michael. We're screwed if that's the best you got."

Jesse stopped me from walking back out on to the street; the two of us huddled in the corner of one of the subway walkways. He said, "You need to tell me everything you know. We need to know what other enemies we could be facing here. Then we can come up with a strategy-"

"Like hell you can," a muffled voice said.

I felt an arm go around my waist, pulling me away from passing pedestrians. Strangely enough, I wasn't scared as much as surprised. Jesse, however, grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back. I yelped in pain and the set of arms from behind me quickly released themselves from around me.

Jesse lunged at the shadow and knocked him to the ground. Jesse hovered over the body, cloaked in heavy clothing-too heavy for the time of year-and a ski mask. I leaned down and as I was about to remove the mask, the muffled voice said, "Don't do that, Maria."

My mouth dropped open. Thoughts running through so quickly that there was no way to process any of them, like in a dream where images pass at such speed that it's rare to remember anything. The voice repeated, "Don't touch the mask."

Jesse looked ready to attack and I raised my hand, "Don't."

"Maria," Jesse began.

"It's Kyle," I said.

"Kyle?" Jesse replied, his voice rising about ten octaves, drawing strange looks from passersby.

"Say it a little louder, Jesse. I don't think my father heard you back in New Mexico," Kyle said, his voice becoming much stronger and familiar as he stood himself up. He rubbed his shoulder and said, "Jesus, you pack a punch."

"I thought Maria was in trouble."

Kyle nodded and I said, "Can you take that ridiculous mask off? I feel stupid talking to you like this."

"You shouldn't even be talking to me. What the hell are you doing here? Michael is going to flip out when he sees you," Kyle paused. He removed the mask, revealing a head full of long brown curls. I smiled, stifling the chortle in my throat, and he added, "Go on and laugh. Like my life isn't sad enough already."

I hugged him to me. I had known all along how much I missed Michael and Liz, there was a void that could never be replaced while the two of them were gone, but with Kyle and probably the others it was much more subtle. I didn't realize how much I had missed him until I saw his goofy smile, which no amount of physical alteration could change.

He rubbed my back for a minute before pulling back. He stared at Jesse and finally said, "I guess you got the letter Isabel sent you. I was afraid it would send you off on a mission, but she wanted to do it. And once she makes up her mind-well, you know how she is."

"Is she alright?"

Kyle's eyes wandered around, "Not here. We can't talk here."

"Kyle, I need to know," Jesse insisted.

I took Jesse's hand, an action I wasn't quite comfortable with yet, but it somehow seemed the right thing to do. The look on Kyle's face didn't bode well and the last thing anyone needed was for Jesse to go off on some sort of vengeance crusade.

Kyle motioned to a set of subway rails along a parallel tunnel. He said, "It's an unused service line at the moment. It leads to a fairly decent area that I've been hiding out in. Once we're there, we can talk. It's not safe out in the open like this."

"Are the others there?" I asked, following him down into the darkness, using the white from his socks as a guide.

"We had to split up. There's a lot going on. We're not even sure of half of it," Kyle said, his tone telling me not to ask any more questions.

It was about a fifteen-minute hike. I was beginning to realize the Catch-22 of time. Even the smallest intervals could seem like an eternity, dragging on for ages, never ending moments. It was never like that when I wanted it to be. When I wanted time to stop, to halt while I caught my breath and appreciated the great things, it slipped by that much faster.

When we were finally there, Kyle removed the long jacket and fell on a makeshift mattress that had springs popping out of the corners. He patted his hand on the ground and lifted a cigarette to his mouth.

The only thing I could think to say was, "When did you start smoking?"

"I heard smoking reduces stress. So far, it's not working like I had hoped."

"The others, Kyle. Where are they?" Jesse said, getting straight to the point.

"Liz and Isabel disappeared. We were planning to get out of New York within the next few days. Max had a bad feeling. He said he thought it was time to move on, but we decided to give it another few days. Get as much cash together as we could. Everything was fine that morning when we left, but when they didn't get home that night, we got worried. No one was ever late. We had an arrangement. We had a routine. We didn't stray from it."

"And Liz and Isabel did?" I asked. The ache in my stomach was getting stronger, like a spoon was being driven through my organs in a methodic manner. The air around me seemed to get warmer and I fought the urge to scream at the unfairness of this whole mess. We were too young for this, way too young for this crap, and being separated from one another.

"We asked around a bit, but we can't draw attention to ourselves," Kyle replied.

"So you have no idea where they are?" I questioned, trying to make sense of it. I don't know what I was thinking-a few episodes of Scooby Doo did not a crime solver make. Kyle shrugged, sucking on the tip of his cigarette. I fanned the smoke away from my face and continued, "What about Michael and Max? They just left you?"

"No, I told you. We split up. We were waiting a few days for things to cool down."

"Waiting for wait? Were you planning to leave Isabel and Liz behind?" Jesse replied.

"Jesse-"

"I want to know. Where the hell is my wife?"

"We don't know!" Kyle snapped. He rubbed his forehead, pushing on the pressure points, and added, "This doesn't have a government feel to it. We've had some close calls before and the government swarms. It hasn't happened here. This is different."

"They want the key," I said, remembering the conversation the men had in the motel.

Kyle stared at me, "How did you know about the key?"

"The men. We were at your motel. These two men chased us out, but we overheard them talking about a key. They needed to find it," I replied.

"They also said that it attracted other problems," Jesse added.

Kyle shrugged again, "A few months ago, we ran into Lonnie. She wasn't doing too well, something had happened, something that scared the hell out of her. Maria, you knew how insane she was. We knew it must've been bad for her to be terrified. Anyway, she gave Max a key and mentioned something about it being our only protection when the others came. None of us wanted to take the key with us, but we weren't sure we could afford to leave it behind."

"And Isabel had this key?"

"Lonnie gave it to her. I guess since they are, well, you know," Kyle said to me. I noticed the confused look on Jesse's face, but there was no time to explain. Kyle flicked his cigarette into the air before stomping it out on the ground. He added, "So you think these two men might know where Liz and Isabel are?"

It was my turn to shrug. "They want the key," I replied. I sat down next to him, wrapping my arm around his. I looked at him, trying to make sure this wasn't some ploy or a dream, trying to prepare myself for the idea that I might actually see Michael again.

I scolded myself immediately. There was no time for thinking like that. There was work to be done, friends to be rescued, keys to bewell, whatever had to be done. I continued talking, "There is a slight problem."

"Aside from your sudden appearance?" Kyle asked. He met my dubious glare and said, "Don't look at me like that. It's not that you're not a sight for sore eyes, but if the two of you could find us-we're not exactly doing too well at this incognito thing."

"I don't know if I should be offended by that," I replied.

"The two men are probably guarding your motel room. That's where they found us. We don't think they found the key, but Maria and I weren't sure how to get back into the building without either of them spotting us," Jesse explained. He kicked at the garbage littering the floor and added, "There has to be some way though. When are you meeting with the others?"

"Tonight."

"We're coming with you," Jesse stated.

"I don't know-if either of them see you, they might-"

"We're coming," I replied.

"It's too dangerous, Maria. You left this life behind for a reason."

I folded my arms and said, "I don't take orders from you. I definitely don't take orders from Michael, so deal with the fact that I'm coming. If Liz is in trouble, I plan to help. I want to make sure I leave all of you alive and in one piece."

Kyle sighed, "Fine. We're meeting at Sal's Pizzeria at nine pm."

I glanced at my watch and exchanged looks with Jesse. Three hours. Three more hours until I laid eyes on Michael again. I felt my stomach somersault and I was deluged with possibilities.

Again, my words rang in my ears. "I would follow you anywhere, Michael."

I would. And I did.

to be continued...