Chapter 26
Afiona was surprised to find only Daric waiting for her in the stables. His head hung low and she could hear him actually snoring.
She wanted to talk to someone about everything that had already happened that morning, and it was barely light outside. Collecting his brushes she started grooming him.
:That feels good.: He commented sleepily. :Mia won't make it for your riding lessons. I'm afraid Nico just fell asleep.: He raised his head and blinked slowly. :And he had to keep telling me how sad you were and how much he could help you. If there hadn't been doors in the way you would have had to fend off his happy thoughts.:
Afiona smiled and continued to detangle his mane. "I thought about what you said last night, about me staying busy."
:You are going to help the Dean?: Daric asked hopefully. He could feel she was exhausted, but he had no idea why. :Did you sleep?:
"Eventually. But first I visited Lance. He sent me these beautiful charms." She fished a chain out from under the collar of her shirt and showed him the three charms. "One each for Demon, Nico, and I." She explained. There was a slight catch in her voice as she spoke. "In his letter he mentioned they have a very hard time getting any information out of Karse. So I volunteered."
:What!: Daric had visions of her being captured by the Karsites.
"I have Farsight, and I can See most of Karse." Afiona pointed out. "I already convinced Rissa that it's a good idea, and the Lord Martial said I was an answer to a prayer. I want to help."
:Afiona, what if you're caught!: Daric said with obvious alarm.
"That is a risk everyone takes. I may not wear Whites but that doesn't mean I can't help Valdemar like every other Herald." Afiona said softly. "Besides, knowing that what I see can help save lives makes me feel less helpless."
:Afiona…: Daric said plaintively.
"What would you have done if you knew you could fill a need?" She asked.
:I would try to fill it.: Daric admitted. :But, with Demon, and your brother, and everything.:
"And with war on the horizon, and people dying I have to do everything in my power to help."
Daric was of two minds, as a Companion he expected her to do exactly what she had done, but as someone who knew and loved her he did not want her risking her sanity.
"Daric, love." Afiona smiled and draped her arm over his neck. "I can hear you. I am not risking my sanity. If I was hiding in my room I would be risking my sanity."
:At least you are only watching from a distance.: Daric said, more in assurance to himself than to her.
"It seems that because I am also a powerful Empath I can See through whatever they have blocking us." Afiona explained with a bit of triumph in her voice. "I actually found some Karsites shielded inside Valdemar. And I rerouted a Herald to deal with them. The Lord Martial thinks they were going to try to make it look like a group of bandits attacked to distract the army. Maybe to divert troops from the border."
:Makes sense.: Daric admitted. :Out of curiosity, why do you feel helpless? You are a brave, strong woman who has faced more than any man I know.:
"I'm not strong." Afiona corrected. "Stefen said he thought I was strong too, but I 'm not. Everyone is always protecting me and what kind of Herald needs to be protected?"
:A human one.: Daric pointed out.
"Mia doesn't need protection, neither does Rissa." Afiona pointed out. "This at least I can do to protect others."
:You protect others.: Daric protested.
"When?" Afiona challenged.
:You tried to protect Demon.: Daric said, grasping at straws.
"Demon died because I failed to protect him and because he felt he had to protect me!" Afiona snapped.
Daric felt like an oaf for not realizing it before, she felt guilty for failing to protect Demon and was trying to ease that guilt by protecting everyone else. :Afiona, you protected Nico. I had totally forgotten he was following me, you stepped in and shielded him. And you protect your patients from further harm. A Healer is just a different kind of warrior.: Daric rushed to assure her. :And Rissa and Mia have both been rescued. That is what Heralds do, protect Valdemar and her people, and most definitely each other.:
Afiona didn't look convinced.
:Look at Ara, that Companion who you tended last night, it is your strength that protects her from infections and perhaps even death. And Nico, you protected him from possible death when he was born. You are not a swordswoman or an archer or anything like that but you protect others every time you use your Gift. When others are forced to stand aside and watch as someone suffers you can step forward and help. You have survived things other people can't imagine; that has given you great reserves of strength. If I had lived through what you have I doubt I could ever bring myself to trust anyone else.: Daric grappled for more words. :Do you think everyone else hasn't felt helpless? I have watched you struggle with yourself for months and I have been helpless to help my own Chosen. I nearly lost you yesterday. Your brother was armed and you were not, and you are untrained, when I saw him with that knife I didn't know if I would make to you in time. I had never felt more helpless in my entire life. Then when the Healers blamed you there was nothing I could say or do to protect you. Later it was Nico who could help you by making you sleep and Mia and Medren who could carry you inside. You are the dearest person in my life and there was nothing I could do to help you.:
Afiona was stunned at his speech and was amazed as a large crystalline tear trailed out of his eye and down his satiny white cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his mane. They stood like that for several long moments.
"I didn't realize…" She started to say.
:Neither did I. I never knew you felt so helpless.: Daric rubbed his cheek on her shoulder.
Afiona wiped her eyes on her sleeve.
:I wish you had told me sooner. I was trying not to pry, I noticed it annoyed you when Medren tried to help and I didn't want to alienate you.: Daric admitted. :This is still all new to me too, I have never Chosen before.:
Afiona remained there for several silent minutes before straightening. "If Mia isn't going to make it I better go see to Ara." She said finally.
:I expect Nico will be up soon, it is after his feeding time after all. I think I will sleep until then.: Daric said as he stretched. :Hopefully it will be long enough for you to finish with Ara.:
Afiona stroked his neck one last time before she left to find her patient. Ara stood in her stall with her head hung low and her sides shuddering with each breath. Afiona sensed the mare was not interested in any small talk. That was all right, Afiona wasn't either.
"Don't worry, it will ease soon." Afiona assured her.
The mare raised her head. Large tears rolled down her long face.
Afiona used the hem of her shirt to wipe away the tears and stroked the mare's forehead. There was a buzzing at the back of her mind that told her the mare was upset enough to broadcast her thoughts. She collected a cooling salve from her ever-present medical bag and a soft, clean cloth. The mare sighed as the first of the cool ointment touched her flesh.
"I know it hurts." Afiona said softly. "This will help numb your back." As her hands deftly eased the pain in Ara's burns she used her Healing gift to undo some of the damage to the skin, thankfully there was very little damage to the muscles.
As she gently massaged the ointment into the damaged flesh she realized Daric was right. She may never swing a sword with any talent or know which end of the shield is supposed to be up but she had the ability to protect her patients from dangers others could never stand against.
The knowledge felt good, as if she had banished a bit of darkness from her heart.
~ * ~
For the next week she found herself busier that ever. In order to make her spying more informative they insisted she learn Karsite. Her lessons with Rissa continued, they were just pushed to a candlemark earlier, as was her lessons with Mia. Nico followed her about except when she had to spy for the Council, and then he was handed over to his father or some Herald that didn't mind telling a story to keep him occupied.
Of course her spying was not to be discussed with anyone, which resulted in Medren becoming even more worried and bothersome.
Lady Ashkevron heard of Demon's death and her brother's reappearance and subsequent death and showed up at her door with more clothing and swearing that Afiona would always be like a daughter to her. Afiona accepted the teary condolences as gracefully as she could manage and let Treesa think she was fine.
The Healers continued to give her a cold shoulder. Even the few she considered friends no longer sought her out. Once even her request for medications had been 'forgotten' until she reminded the healer rather forcefully that they were deliberately harming another living being and risking a Herald's life when they denied her medicine. Her old quarters in the Healers that had been reserved for her when she moved back were given to someone else.
The Heralds, however, treated her like one of their own. Three times she was invited to join a group that were heading into the city to relax for a while. The Dean dropped off plenty of books of children's stories one night and offered to baby-sit Nico anytime she needed to be alone. After they had repaired her doors someone had made her a sign to hang on the doorknob to tell everyone she was having a bath and was not to be disturbed.
Afiona didn't realize the rift between the Collegiums was deep until she overheard a patient and a Healer fighting, the patient being a Herald Trainee that had taken a bad fall and cracked his forearm. She was on her way to assure the boy that his Companion was none the worse for the little spill when she heard the raised voices.
"She is too a good Healer!" A young male voice shouted. "She is a hundred times the Healer you will ever be!"
"She is a disgrace to her robes." A young female voice of a Healer Trainee, spat back. "I can't imagine how she managed to get her greens if she can only tend animals."
Afiona ran the last few feet to the door praying the arguing pair didn't become violent.
"What is the meaning of this?" She demanded as she entered the room and found them squared off.
The boy drew himself up to his full height, which was several inches less than Afiona's. "She said it was a good thing I didn't go to you or I would be stuck in the Healers for a week as they undid the damage."
Afiona turned to the girl and recognized her immediately. She was a haughty highborn girl that was in her final year as a trainee and a good three years older than the boy. The girl raised her chin a few inches and glared at her. Afiona ignored the glare.
"Asher, has she tended you yet?" Afiona asked.
"I wouldn't let that harpy touch me." He said staunchly as if refusing treatment was a matter of honor.
"That is enough, no name calling, you are better than that. Sit down and let her work on you then go tend to Milvin, he is worried about you. I don't want to hear another word out of either of you until I say so and you can be certain I will talk to both of the Deans about this." Afiona said curtly.
"If he doesn't want me touching him I won't." The girl said stubbornly.
"Are you refusing to Heal someone that obviously requires your aid?" Afiona asked softly.
"He hardly needs my aid." She sniffed. "He'd rather have a pig healer than me."
Afiona bristled at the insult. "Call me what you wish but I am still a senior Healer." Afiona warned her. "If you are not going to do your duty leave and I will tend him myself."
The girl stormed past her and slammed the door.
"Are you going to get into trouble?" Asher asked worriedly.
"How can I get into more trouble?" Afiona asked with a wry, humorless smile. "Show me your arm."
He obediently held out his arm.
Afiona took it gently in her hands but hesitated about using her gift.
"Is it broken?" He asked after a few silent seconds.
"It is cracked. Nothing to serious." Afiona assured him.
She was about to suggest he see Geina or another Healer when she Felt Daric in the back of her mind. He didn't say anything to her; he only offered her his support. "Lie down, this tends to make people a little dizzy." She ordered.
Asher obediently stretched out on the narrow bed, leaving plenty of room for Afiona to have a seat.
Cradling his arm gently she gingerly opened a Healing bond between them. She could Feel his guilt at being caught fighting and nearly broke the connection.
:You can do it.: Daric urged, his sending full of confidence in her.
Afiona probed the area around the crack in the bone and found a small area of bleeding but nothing that had to be dealt with before the bone was mended. She 'pulled' the edges of the bone together and forced them to knit together quickly in the same manner she had used on animals. She started on the inside and worked her way out until the bone was nearly as good as new. Then she fixed the minor damage to the muscle around it and released his arm.
She sensed there was someone else in the room as soon as she released the Healing trance. It was not a pleased person either. Standing slowly she took a deep breath but did not turn around. She knew what was coming. She just hadn't expected it to be someone she considered a friend.