A/N: ITACHI COMES IN HERE! This chapter is actually kinda cliché. And I am sorry that he is OOC, but I had to write it before I could go back to the manga and read up on his personality. (Yeah, I do that. Wanna fight about it?) I mean, I don't remember if he speaks idly, or if he's one of the stoic evil ones, or what. I picture him as the type of villain who isn't cold, but is everything but nice. He strikes me as a sort of non assuming villain, and is very real. He doesn't have emotions, he doesn't get angry. The only thing he experiences that even remotely resembles an emotion is an extremely mild annoyance. If he wants something to stop, it just does, whether it stops by itself or not. But for this fic to work, he can't be like that. So, I took poetic license. Don't sue me. Scythemistress is here, and she is providing me with motivation (more like threatening my life). Cha.

ATTENTION ALL ITACHI JUNKIES! I really don't want to have to read the manga again, so tell me in your reviews what the actual Itachi should be like, and I will try to better his him…ness. To an extent.

Kurai's outfit consists of:

-Akatsuki cloak with cut off sleeves and a hem a few inches above her knees

-fishnet shirt (with thumbholes in the sleeves), red tank top underneath

-fishnet stockings

All right whatever. Stop reading the author's note and read the fic.

"Itachi, you have completed your mission successfully, as usual, but where is Kisame?"

"Kisame was a, regrettable, casualty." Itachi answered, sitting up rigidly in the plush armchair positioned in front of The Man's desk. "I require no replacement. I work more efficiently left to my own devices." The Man gave an amused chuckle.

"Yes, I remember your sentiments concerning this particular issue. Do you remember what I said the last time this "issue" came up?" The Man didn't wait for answer, as if sensing that the addressed wasn't going to give one. "I said that as long as you are in this organization, it is mandatory that you have a partner.

"Now," he said, motioning to a lackey who handed him a folder, "being as all of the males in this fine upstanding establishment are assigned to someone already, I am going to assign you a solo mission." Itachi smiled coldly on the inside. "Her name is Kurai.

"I am not allowed to disclose her surname, being as she is the granddaughter of the sickly leader of this association. She will be under the impression that you have been assigned as her partner. Just play along. Oh, and if she is to "expire" under your supervision, there will be consequences. Severe consequences." As if on cue, the bulky men in the room twitched their pecs all as one.

Already annoyed, Itachi looked upon the highly muscled men with disdain. They would be completely useless if an S-class criminal was to decide that he was unhappy with the management. And unhappy he was. His mission was to look after a girl? He would rather have been given a partner. At least then when they bothered him, he could kill them. If he killed this girl, he would have both the Akatsuki and the rest of the known world after him. Itachi watched The Man's sweaty adam's apple moved up and back down as he swallowed. Disgusted, Itachi mentally ripped out the hated man's throat, crushing the imaginary vocal cords in his fists. He despised The Man. He even despised the Akatsuki. He was only a part of it because it provided a sort of refuge for higher level criminals skilled enough to out-smart their villages ANBU. Here he was, if not welcomed, at least with people who did not give a damn about him killing his clan. Now, he could kill whomever bothered him, and, by the identification of the cloak, it would be pinned on the organization instead of him specifically.

"She is not too keen on having a partner either, so you to should get along." Itachi highly doubted this. The last person he had gotten along with had been Chishou. (A/N: Is that the best friend he killed's name? If I'm wrong, tell me in your reviews.) "Kurai!" the man shouted.

There was a silence, then a muffled commotion on the other side of the wall, then the door fwung (A/N: Yes, it is a word. I just used it, didn't I?) open and a girl with fulsome crimson hair and a modified Akatsuki cloak was thrust through.

"BLEEP!" she shouted.

"Pardon?" The Man asked.

"I wanted to cuss." Kurai said, looking down at her hands. "Screw it. FUCK!"

"Kurai, what did you do to your cloak?" The Man sighed.

"I fixed it. Why?"

"'Cause you look like the Akatsuki whore." Said one of the big guys in the corner. There was a silence and the room was suddenly filled with a chi that was as red as Kurai's hair.

"O you bastard." Suddenly a double-edged scythe appeared seemingly out nowhere. Unless you were Itachi, you didn't see the quick hand seals Kurai had performed. Itachi noted her speed; she was apparently a skilled ninja. She was probably faster than Kisame. And there was no doubt she was going to be even more of an annoyance.

"Kurai, I'd like you to meet your new partner." The Man said authoritatively as Kurai lunged for the offending goon. She paused mid-lunge.

"What? We've discussed this before. I told you; I don't want or need a partner. Co-existing is not my forte, as you well know." Kurai said, glaring at the thug as she stored her scythe and crossed her arms. Itachi felt his contempt for the girl steadily building. She was nothing but a spoiled brat who was used to getting everything her way.

"Is this her?" she asked after catching sight of Itachi. "She looks too skinny." At this he stood up and faced Kurai, body language showing clear contempt. "Oh, you're a man, sorry." She said with an apologetic smile. "I thought you were my new partner. And, hey," she said, noticing his hostile posture, "skinny is a good look for you."

"He is." The Man said, standing up. "Kurai, meet Itachi."

"Hi Itachi, and he is what?" she asked. There was a moment of silence as the gears in Kurai's brain whizzed about. "HE'S MY NEW PARTNER!" she yelled. "BUT-he's a guy! MALE! As in non-female! He's a-you are a man, aren't you?" Kurai asked uncertainly, turning toward Itachi. "Cause, I…that is a man, right?" she asked turning towards The Man once more.

"Yes." The Man confirmed.

"Jus' checking." She said briefly before continuing with what she had been saying. "MALE! What if he tries to rape me!" She exclaimed. "Oh, man, if I get raped, it's on you. It's on you!" she turned to leave, and then stopped. "We're partners; try not to make a big deal out of it." She said, keeping her back toward Itachi. "And, don't rape me." Then she swept out dramatically.

I'm lazy, so I fear that is all I can give you for now. I love you, the last person who reviewed! This portion of a chappie is for you!