Chapter 28
Lance was asleep, buried under blankets to his chin, when Afiona found him. Not even in sleep did the strain leave him. With one transparent hand she caressed his cheek and was shocked at the bolt of emotion that rocked her to her core.
Sitting on the edge of the bed she gingerly touched him again. Laying her hand on his cheek, this time she was prepared for the fear and helplessness he felt.
It was child's play for a Mindhealer to enter another's dream. Afiona had refused to use the ability on a human but often found the technique useful with her animal patients, giving them vague 'humans can be good' dreams to ease their fears and distrust. This time felt different as she entered Lance's dream. The feelings and thoughts where more pronounced and more intimate.
As his dream came into focus for her she saw him fighting not with humans but inky black bonds as just out his reach a child screamed in pain and fear.
Afiona tried to touch Lance only to have the bonds try to enclose her as well. Surrendering that tactic she approached the child and knelt next to it. She knew everything in his dream represented something about him. She was uncertain what the child meant but she knew he needed to be soothed for the dream to end.
"Hush now." Afiona said as she knelt next to the child and caressed his brown curls.
His scream faded almost immediately and his pale green eyes focused desperately on her face.
"Don't worry, you're safe." Afiona assured him. "You see over there?" She pointed to the still struggling Lance. "He's come to rescue you."
The boy looked at Lance then back up at Afiona. "Who are you?"
"I am Afiona. I'm here to see you both." Afiona explained. "Now, why are you so scared?"
"The bad men." The boy said as fear crept back into his eyes.
Afiona glanced at Lance. It would appear that she wasn't the only one who carried ghosts. She offered her hand to the boy and led him to Lance. "You're safe now." She said as she gathered him into her arms. "You're safe."
Almost as if she had cast a magic spell the dream boy vanished as did Lance's bonds.
Afiona found herself alone with Lance in what appeared to be his room. "Are you feeling better now?" She asked as she approached Lance who was staring at her blankly.
"The boy…" He said slowly looking confused.
Afiona moved closer to him and took his hand and led him the chairs by his hearth. "He's safe now."
Lance obediently sat on the chair. Afiona sat on the arm of the chair with her arm across the back of the chair and behind his head.
"But…he's dead." Lance said as if he was having a hard time remembering something. "I was too late."
Afiona rested her cheek on the crown of his head. "I understand."
Lance rested his arm around her waist. "How can he be safe if I was too late?"
"When I was younger, I wished I was like him, and beyond the pain of life." Afiona confessed. "He is where there is peace, and love, a place where his soul can heal."
Lance seemed to become more alert, as if he was realizing she truly was there.
"Did you stop the men he was scared of?" Afiona asked.
"Yes." He said, as if confused by the question.
"Then you weren't too late for the next victim, were you?" Afiona said logically. She deliberately conjured an image for him of another little boy, similar to the one who haunted him, but different enough that he wouldn't consciously see the same boy. Instead of screaming he smiled and looked hale and healthy. "You saved him."
Lance stared at the boy for so long she was starting to worry when she Felt the release of the harsh memory.
She threaded her fingers through his slightly too long hair as she dismissed the image.
"I miss you." She said softly as she let herself enjoy the illusory weight of his arm at his waist and silky threads of hair.
Lance pulled her off the arm of the chair and onto his lap where her head fell easily on his shoulder. "Ah, if only you were truly you." He said with slight sadness.
Afiona was shocked that he was aware enough to realize he was dreaming. "But I am truly me."
His beautiful, honest eyes showed he didn't believe her.
"I got your letter today." She told him. "There was no need to rush it to me. I know you're sorry for the poor timing of the charms but you have no reason to be. I carry Demon's with me everywhere. And mine. I put it on a ribbon and I wear it under my clothes while I work."
He still didn't look convinced.
Afiona sat up a little straighter. "I have to go."
Before he could protest she broke the connection to the dream and found herself sitting next to him rather than on him. He was jolted awake, as she expected, and sat up.
"Damn." He muttered and settled back under the covers.
:Sorry for waking you.: Afiona quickly apologized. :You were having a nightmare and I got in a bit too deep and woke you when I got out.:
Lance sat up and looked around. "Where are you?"
:I am sitting right next to you.: Afiona answered. :I better go so you can get back to sleep.:
"No, stay." Lance quickly protested. "So, that was the real you I was dreaming about."
Afiona was very glad he couldn't see her blush. :Yes.:
Lance looked a little worried. "Uh, exactly what was I dreaming? It's all rather vague…"
Afiona laughed. :Nothing embarrassing, truly.:
Lance was obviously relieved. "So, what brings you here?"
:I wanted someone to talk to.: Afiona admitted. :Someone who is not going to give me the 'for the greater good of Valdemar' speech.:
"I swear I won't." Lance said solemnly.
:I know I shouldn't tell you this but if I can't trust a Herald who can I trust? I am spying for the crown using farsight and empathy. Apparently the Companions will sense what I See and drag their Heralds to the rescue. But what if someone dies? I swore to never do harm, and dying is definitely harm.: Afiona explained.
"I see why you don't want the greater good of Valdemar speech. But if someone else Saw something horrible that you could prevent wouldn't you want to know so you could act to save others?" Lance asked.
:Of course I would.: Afiona said without hesitation.
"We feel exactly the same way." Lance pointed out. "Would you hesitate to send a Healer into a room with an ill patient that they could heal because they might get sick too? Both Healers and Heralds have a duty and if we are harmed so be it. Better us than some innocent child who never chose to be in that situation like we would choose to go to the rescue the second we heard the call."
Afiona could Feel he meant every word. He was just a Herald, not even privy to the big picture of the war. :Thank you.:
"Did I help?" Lance asked.
:Yes, very much.: Afiona assured him. :I should let you sleep.:
"Afiona, before you go, tell me about Nico. How's he taking the loss of Demon?" Lance said quickly.
:He wanted to go wake up Demon for the first few days. Then he seemed to accept that Demon could not return and he believed Demon was with you. Daric finally convinced him that Demon has gone to a place where once you go you can't come back, but you wait for your loved ones to join you. Then he was worried that Demon would miss us so we told him that I would write him letters to tell him everything that was happening so he wouldn't miss us so much.: Afiona related. :Now I have to write a note every morning filled with little news Nico thinks is very important and burn it so the smoke can carry it to Demon.:
"I know Carmia will be glad to hear he hasn't been traumatized. She's worried about him."
Afiona settled more comfortably next to him. The fact he couldn't see her was certainly freeing. She was no fool, she knew that since she had the power in this relationship she now she was more comfortable with him. :How are you doing? You look worn out.:
"I am worn out. Those are farm boys out there. They should be plowing their fields, not using swords." Lance complained.
:If we lose this war they won't have fields to plow.: Afiona pointed out.
"That is not exactly comforting." Lance said dryly.
:It wasn't meant to be.: Afiona informed him. :It's the truth. I have to go or I'll have a headache in the morning. Try to relax some, and remember, those boys chose to be here too. They haven't started conscription yet.:
"Come talk more often." Lance requested. "If it doesn't drain you too much." He added quickly.
:I will.: Afiona promised and swiftly returned to her body.
Stretching slowly she opened her eyes and nearly shrieked when she saw Medren sitting on her hearth just feet from her.
"Oh good, you're back." Medren greeted her. "Where were you?"
"Visiting Lance." Afiona admitted. She could feel her cheeks heat with the admission.
Medren looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. "I brought you something." He said instead, looking very pleased with himself. Reaching into the shadows beside him he revealed a basket, which he carefully placed on her lap. Curled up in the bottom was a small, fuzzy, white puppy sleeping obliviously.
"Medren…" Afiona started to protest.
"I know how much you miss Demon so I thought this little guy would help." Medren explained.
As if sensing he was the center of attention the puppy woke up and stared at her, then yawned.
Afiona's hands trembled as she lifted the puppy from the basket and he wiggled happily, his little pink tongue trying to reach her face. "It's too soon." She said sadly. "And I don't have time for a puppy, not with Nico still demanding so much time." She held the puppy out to Medren.
He reluctantly accepted the squirming animal. "But—"
"He's adorable, but I'm just not ready." Afiona begged to make him understand. "Maybe in a few months, when the memories aren't so fresh."
Medren sighed in defeat. "What am I going to do with him then?"
"Give him to Mia." Afiona suggested.
Medren suddenly looked like a hunted deer. "I'd never get rid of her then."
"You can't fool me, I know you are very flattered by her interest." Afiona teased. "And if you truly weren't interested I doubt she would chase you so hard."
Medren looked sheepish. "She actually serenaded me outside my window last night! Can you believe it?"
"Of course." Afiona said, glad he was no longer thinking about her problems.
"And she actually left a bouquet of hothouse flowers outside my door." Medren continued.
Afiona bit back a grin.
"And I would love to know how she gets these little love notes tucked inside my clothing when my door is locked." Medren continued.
Afiona lost the battle and started to laugh.
"What is so funny?" Medren demanded.
"She said it's like wooing a virgin." Afiona explained.
"She thinks I am a virgin?" Medren demanded.
"Like a reluctant virgin." Afiona continued to giggle.
Medren fumed.
Afiona laughed all the harder at his frustrated expression. The puppy wiggled and barked as if he too found something very amusing.
"What do you suggest then?" He demanded.
"Turn the tables on her." Afiona suggested. "Then you won't be the passive one."
Medren looked dubious for a few seconds then grinned widely. "I do believe you have an idea. I'll set myself up as a secret admirer."
"Starting with the puppy?" Afiona guessed.
"Do you have a big ribbon I could borrow?" Medren asked as he scratched the puppy's ears.
Afiona hunted in her wardrobe and produced a wide, red ribbon, which she tied around the puppy's neck in a big floppy bow. "She should still be at court."
Medren borrowed a piece of paper and penned four words; from your secret admirer, which he fastened to the basket. "Don't tell her." He requested as he picked up the basket with one hand and the puppy in the other.
"I won't." Afiona assured him as she opened her door for him to leave.
As soon as she was alone she curled up in her chair again. :Daric, are you awake?:
:Of course. Nico wants a story. I am telling him an old fairytale I heard when I was young.: Daric informed her. :After that he should sleep. Is anything wrong?:
:You know me better than anything alive. Do you think that after everything I can actually love?: Afiona asked uncertainly. :I know it is out of the blue but after listening to Medren complain about Mia I was envious of her.:
:I have no doubt.: Daric assured her. :And if you weren't so doubting of yourself you'd see you are a very loving person. By some miracle they never broke you. But until now I don't think have been ready to open yourself up to a human, like, oh say, Lance?:
Afiona felt her cheeks heat up.
:Does this mean you are finally going to admit you love Lance?: Daric pressed.
:Yes.: Afiona felt her face grow hotter. :He's so strong, yet so gentle…:
:And patient, don't forget patient. He has waited ages for you to stop shying from him.: Daric pointed out. :Did you tell him?:
:No, I want to tell him in person, not when he can't even see me.: Afiona explained.
:Why did you envy Mia?: Daric asked.
:She never hesitated about pursuing Medren. She even serenaded him. I envy her because she never thought about the possibility of being hurt when I seem to obsess about it.: Afiona explained.
:But you don't anymore. At least not about physical pain. You are hurt often enough in your class with Rissa. And I think you are starting to realize how truly strong you are.: Daric said solemnly. :Now, I have to get back to the story, Nico is getting rather demanding.:
:Well then, I won't keep you.: Afiona said with dry amusement.
~ * ~
It was barely dawn when pounding on her door awakened Afiona. Nico struggled sleepily to his feet and looked around for the source of all the noise as Afiona dragged herself from bed and answered the pounding.
On the other side of the door was the Lord Martial's Herald looking like he had just tossed on the first set of whites that came to hand.
"What's wrong?" Afiona asked sleepily as Nico butted her hand and reminded her that waking up meant it was time to eat.
"A scouting group with a Herald failed to report in this morning. They were close to the border." He said in a businesslike tone that told her just how serious it was. Normally he was laid back and easy going. "We need you to find them."
"Let me prepare Nico's bottle and I'll be right there." She said as she closed the door and grabbed her battered old robe. The Herald was waiting for her when she opened the door and led the way to the kitchen where she expertly prepared the bottle and let him lead the way to the Royal apartments. Nico trotted at her heels, sensing the urgency they felt and remaining quiet.
Afiona was surprised to see the number of people that had been dragged out of bed so early, including the very worried looking King and King's Own. She thrust the bottle into the hands of the nearest Herald and instructed them to feed Nico.
"What do you need?" A Herald she was unfamiliar with asked. "A gazing ball or bowl of water?"
"Nothing, thank you." Afiona assured them. "Where do you want me to Look?"
She was handed a map with cryptic red and blue markings all over it. She was starting to recognize the markings as troop movements but she had yet to figure out which glyph stood for which type of troop.
"About here." Jisa said and pointed out the spot on the map.
Afiona checked to make sure Nico was being fed properly. "If he gets fussy tell him a story." She suggested as she took a seat they cleared for her on a chair.
Taking a deep breath she released her hold on her body and started her search.
She was oblivious to the mood in the room as she searched and never noticed Jisa was shielding Nico to keep him from altering the mood. After the first candlemark he was no longer satisfied with assurances that everything was all right and took a post with his nose inches from hers.
It was nearly two candlemarks later when she returned with a gasp and looked around at the worried faces. "Take Nico to Daric and bring my cousin." She ordered.
No one stopped to question her as Jisa cajoled Nico out to his father and a Herald went in search of Tashir.
Tashir entered with out even knocking. "What's wrong?"
"Can you link with someone and Fetch?" Afiona asked.
"Yes, why?" Tashir asked as he pulled up a chair across from her.
"Because we need to get some maps." Afiona said cryptically. "I found the Herald and the scouting group with him. They can't contact us without giving away their position."
"So what are they going to do?" The King demanded.
Afiona smiled faintly. "First we get the maps they made, then we can give them a distraction to use to escape."
Tashir didn't wait for any further explanations and offered her his hands. Holding them lightly Afiona guided them both back to where she had found the men using the rocky terrain of the area to mask their movements.
:I've returned.: Afiona informed the Herald who breathed a deep sigh of relief. He placed about half dozen map tubes on the ground, which Tashir made disappear one by one.
:You can go back.: Afiona said to Tashir, sensing the strain transporting the map tubes had put on him. Tashir started to protest but instead acquiesced and broke the link.
:How will I know that you've distracted them?: The Herald asked.
:You'll know. I am going to spook the horses back the way they came.: Afiona explained. :Good luck Herald.:
:Thank you, Healer.: He responded as he gestured to the men to make ready.
Afiona located the Karsites with ease. They were spread out with searching dogs and swords at the ready. Only one in six had horses, which shot down her plan. Instead she started with the dogs.
:Go home.: She ordered, infusing the Sending with the smell of food.
All the dogs stopped and sniffed the air, as if they could smell the illusory food.
She heard excited shouts from the men and cursed even though the only one likely to hear her was Daric.
Abandoning the dogs that were now milling about she turned to the horses. Being prey animals she easily convinced them that forward held a great predator that would eat them all. Between the barking dogs and panicking horses the line was quickly falling apart, but not fast enough.
:Damn it, get the hint!: Afiona cursed at the men that were seeking to calm the animals. This time she reached for the men themselves. She was a projective Empath and part of being a Mindhealer was the ability to enforce her will on her patients, or in this case, her enemies.
It took only the emotional impact of her early memories of her father, standing over her with a knife as he made small cuts on her bound arms that dripped blood as the rest of the family watched. The men started to panic as the feelings of helpless fear swamped their hearts and beat a hasty retreat immediately releasing dogs and horses to their own devices and dropping their swords as they ran. Afiona directed the horses to the scouting group and sent the dogs running towards the Valdemar border where they would never be used against Valdemar again
Afiona felt her grip on her body growing tenuous and knew without a doubt she had over extended herself. The world faded from black to blinding white several times before it fell silent.
It was pain that brought her back to herself as blood pounded through her head. She groaned and gently touched her forehead.
"Careful there." Mia chastised gently and pushed her hand away only to substitute it with a cold cloth. "Welcome back to the land of the living."
"Did they get away?" Afiona asked without opening her eyes.
"Yes. Thanks to you. What did you do to the men hunting them?" Mia asked. "Feel free to tell me to mind my own business."
"I used empathy as a weapon." Afiona explained.
"Ah, well it worked. Everyone is safe and sound now and on their way back to the border." Mia informed her. "And they thank you for the horses."
"Where am I?" Afiona asked.
"The royal chambers. Herald Jisa said it was probably not a good idea to tell the Healers what you did, she probably knew you used empathy." Mia explained. "So, you've spent the last couple candlemarks under my gentle care."
"Is there any lights?" Afiona asked.
"No, it's completely dark." Mia assured her.
Afiona gingerly opened her eyes. "What did the maps say?"
"Well, I was never told officially but the word is bad. They are moving into position to attack midspring, and no feint this time. I mean a full out, do or die, winner takes all, war." Mia said without dulling the news.
"I was afraid of that." Afiona struggled to sit up. "Who are they sending to the front?"
"Well, I was missed in this round. So was Rissa. But any teachers of book subjects, like math and history, have been ordered to saddle up. Rissa and I are staying so we can get the new Heralds as ready as quickly as possible." Mia said sadly. "I made certain they are all carrying the new Companion medical kits. And they've all been reminded to watch their Companion's diet, make certain they don't suffer malnutrition. Don't worry about them, just rest up and get rid of the headache. You, my dear friend, are a walking goldmine to us."
Afiona smiled wanly. "Where's Stef?"
"In Bardic, watching my new puppy." Mia informed her. "Can you believe Medren thinks I'll actually believe that he's from a secret admirer?"
"I knew you would know." Afiona let herself be distracted from the near miss of the Herald and his group and the offensive use of her powers.
"I was thinking, I should play along and pretend to be completely head over heels for my secret admirer, make him jealous of himself." Mia said with an impudent grin Afiona could barely see. "I know now is not the best time but—"
"Now is a good time. You don't want to regret it later." Afiona reminded her.
"Come on, you are supposed to be my conscience here." Mia said in mock disappointment.
"Why don't you collect the puppy and send Stefen to me, he can sing away my headache long enough for me to get to my room." Afiona suggested.
"Yes he can sing but you are going nowhere." Mia informed her. "I better go check on your cousin, he earned himself a nasty headache as well. The Lord Martial is over the moon now that he has a functional Seer-Fetcher pair that works so well together. You are both assigned to the palace until further notice and we, the Heralds that is, are hoping you will be able to help pick up a few of the classes, more to give the younglings that aren't going to war something else to focus on; like lessons in field medicine for Companions."
"We'll see." Afiona said knowing she would.
"Wonderful. Sleep now, fret later, alright?" Mia ordered as she stood up. Afiona winced as the bed shifted.
"Who's the healer here?" Afiona said lightly.
"And who is the senior Herald?" Mia countered. "I'll send Stefen in. Stay put."
"Very well." Afiona capitulated.
As soon as Afiona was alone she went through the relaxation exercises as a student and the pain eased slightly.
:Did you do what I think you did?: Daric asked now that she was alone. :Use Empathy offensively I mean.:
:Yes.: Afiona admitted. :And if the Healers find out I will be stripped of my Greens very quickly.:
:I'll make certain that how you did it remains a Heralds only secret.: Daric assured her. :Now rest. We'll probably need you again all too soon.: