Summary: Ryo is hard at work (as usual), but Dee is determined to share his knowledge of obscure facts with his "right" partner.
Warning: Well, random facts and sadly only slight hinting of shonan-ai.
Time: After 7th manga.
Spoilers: Iie. I mean 'no' (ack, I am taking Japanese, and I have to stop with the 'fan-girl Japanese stuff)
Title: August 13th Author: ColeridgeFan
"We're crazy as a species if we try to push
everybody through the same cookie mold."
-Jerry Levy-
It was Saturday and Ryo was less than happy to be sitting at his work desk filling out apology letters to the higher-ups for his partner (Dee had got into his mind that the rapist, McClemmens, that they had apprehended needed a little "Dee punishment" and as a result McClemmens was spending a week in traction) who was, as usual, late. Ryo was going to give Dee a piece of his mind once the lousy bum decided to grace the office with his presence, but it turned out Ryo was not destined to have the first go.
"Laytner, if you're late one more time, I am going to drop you back to traffic control for a whole month!" screamed Chief Smith at the top of his voice.
"Yeah, yeah," Ryo heard as the door to his and Dee office open and the latter entered with a look of indifference.
"You know Dee, you could have the decency to show up on time when its your apology letters we are filling out," Ryo said with as much irritation as he could muster.
Dee merely shrugged and tossed his jacket on the back of his chair. In his hand he had a new coffee mug that seemed to be most amusing to Dee; he was smirking.
"What's so funny? That cup better not have an indecent picture on it," said Ryo who wouldn't put it past Dee to do something like that.
Dee grinned at his partner and showed him the mug; on it was written, "If the left side of the body is controlled by the right side of the brain, then left-handed people are the only ones in their right mind".
"I hate to break it to you, but you most certainly are not in your right mind, Dee. Sorry," Ryo retorted.
"Did you know Lefties tend to have a better memory for music than right-handers?" asked Dee of his rather confused partner.
"Um, okay…"
"In Australia they call Lefties molly-duckers."
"And why would I care exactly?"
Dee shrugged again as if Ryo sarcasm was directed at the wall behind him. Ryo handed Dee a pile of apology forms and went back to begging forgiveness. They went in silence for maybe ten minutes before Dee started up again.
"Did you know Ramses II was always shown to be left-handed? Joan of Arc was also a Lefty."
Ryo sighed, "Is there a point to this random information? Or are you trying to get out of paperwork?"
"Today is August 13th!"
Ryo stared, "And?"
"It's International Left-handers Day!"
"What? I have never heard of that before."
"Well, you're not left-handed, of course you wouldn't pay much attention. Only ten percent of the population is left-handed, you know."
"Really," Ryo said, without much interest.
"D'ya know that twenty percent of Mensa is left-handed?"
"Hmmm, somehow I doubt they'd take you."
"Between 15 and 30 percent of all patients in mental institutions are left-handed,"
"Well, I'd say you have a better shot of joining that group, Dee."
"Jack the Ripper, Billy the Kid, The Boston Strangler, and John Dillinger were all left handed too."
"Yeah, and so was McClemmens, but that didn't stop you from beating the crap out of him, and that's why we are here on our Saturday off," retorted Ryo, who was trying to ignore Dee and finish his work as fast as possible.
"One U.S. study show that blondes are twice as likely to be left-handed as redheads and brunets."
"That makes you even more abnormal," responded Ryo eyeing Dee's hair.
"You know Lefties are faster and more adept to typing and word processing than right handers."
"Really? Then why is it that it takes you a week to type up a two-page report?"
"Well, that's because it has been estimated that left-handers are eleven times more likely to be dyslexic than right-handers."
"You have an excuse for everything, Dee."
"In 1891, the term 'southpaw' was coined by a Chicago sportswriter to describe left-handed baseball pitchers. Because of the way that some old ballparks were situated, pitchers faced west; thus, a left-handed pitcher's pitching arm was to the south."
"I hate baseball."
"Well, how about this? There was a time in Japan when mere left-handedness in a wife was sufficient grounds for expelling her."
"You see, Dee? As my wife, I can not tolerate your left-handedness, nor your short temper for which I am writing about thirty apologies for."
Dee snorted, "I doubt I would be considered the wife. Scientists have speculated that an excessive level of testosterone allows the right side of the brain to achieve and maintain dominance, thus creating left-handers."
Ryo smacked Dee's left hand with his pen.
"Lefties have a better recovery rate from hand injuries than righties."
Ryo merely "humphed".
"Did you know that the word for 'sinister' is almost verbatim the Latin work for Left-handed?"
"That is most certainly believable."
"Well, the Incas believe that left-handedness is a sign of luck."
"You have to be very lucky, what with how many times you have been late and you have yet to be fired."
"And Inuits believe that all left-handed people are potential sorcerers."
"Riiiiight."
"Haven't you been listening? It's not 'right' today, its 'left'!"
"Some of the traits that are associated with lefties are that they are less rigid, more artistic, and much more sensual," commented Dee with a lift of his eyebrows.
"Don't try to blame the fact that you can't keep it in your pants on what hand you write with."
"Did you know that Timex produces two different models of left-handed watches?"
"I'll remember that for Christmas, if you behave."
"If both parents are right-handed then there is only a 2 percent chance there child will be."
"Mmhmmm…" Ryo was desperately trying to finish his work so he could leave early.
Dee seemed to have finished with his random information. Ryo looked up and to his amazment, Dee was unbuttoning his shirt.
"For God's sake, what are you doing? We are in the office!"
Dee merely grinned and pulled his shirt off with a flourish. Underneath he was sporting a T-shirt which read "Kiss me, I'm Left-handed".
Ryo put on a grin to match that of his partner and pulled Dee close, "Well, it is a special day…"
OWARI.
A/N: Kyahahahaha! Happy August 13th (which really is International Left-handers Day) to all of my fellow Lefties! Dee is, for the most part, depicted as Left handed (check out the cover of Vol. 2 and you will see Dee pointing his gun at you with his left hand). All these random facts come from a book entitled: The Lefty Notebook published by Running Press. Their web site is: www. Runningpress. Com :without the spaces, of course. I don't know why I felt the need to give the web site, but whatever. All lefties should review, and so should the righties.
BE LOUD, BE PROUD, LEFT ALL THE WAY, BABY!