A/n: Greetings from the land of corn (a.k.a. Indiana)! I don't know how often I'll be able to update (especially when school starts up again. . . I'm in, like, nine extracurricular activities that like to go on almost at the same time) but I'll update as often as possible until this story's done.
"Okay, so you and James are friends now?" Marlene asked Lily for the seven hundredth time as she sat down at the Gryffindor table.
"Yes, Marlene. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp?" Lily asked exasperatedly.
"Because you've hated him since first year," Emmeline said, helping herself to a plate of chicken.
"So?" Lily said, heaping mashed potatoes onto her plate and mixing them with her corn. "I might as well give him a chance. He might mess up, but then again, he might not."
Meanwhile, a similar conversation was going on further down the table. "Okay, so you and Lily are friends now?" Sirius asked James for the seven thousandth time as he piled pork chops onto his plate.
"Yes, Padfoot. Is it so difficult to conceive a thought about Lily not hating me?"
"Actually, it is," Remus said, daintily eating his turkey. "She's hated you since first year."
The conversations suddenly ceased as brassy trumpets started to announce Dumbledore standing up from the Head Table.
"Hello, teachers," he sang, motioning towards all of the teachers. Minerva paled. Albus has gone totally nutters. What on earth is he doing? She thought. "Well, hello, students," he sang, motioning towards all of the students in the Great Hall. Shocked puzzlement was apparent on all of their faces. "It's so nice to have you here where you belong. You're Head Boy, Artie," he sang motioning to Arthur Weasley, who was blushing to the roots of his flaming hair, "and you're Head Girl, Molly. You're all glowing, you're crowing, you're all going strong. I feel the room swingin' for the students are singing one of my old fav'rite songs from way back when, so open those books, children, don't hide Dungbombs in those nooks, children---" his eyes flickered towards the Marauders " ---Hogwarts is the best school there ever was!"
Dumbledore walked through the Great Hall, waving to the students as they all began to sing. "Hello, Albus! Well, hello, Albus! It's so nice to have you here where you belong! You're so weird, Albus, never thought, Albus that you'd have us sing this Muggle Song.
"We feel the room swingin' for we're all singin' one of your old fav'rite songs from way back when, so--- "
"Merlin's knees, children, don't make any D's, children," Albus sang.
"Hogwarts is the best school there ever was!" the whole Great Hall sang.
The music suddenly slowed and a spotlight (from Merlin knows where) shown on Dumbledore in the middle of the Great Hall. "I was offered the job as Head of the Ministry, but I didn't want to leave you kids; I always want to be here, in the Great Hall of our fair school to make to future even brighter than my youthful days!"
The students and teachers responded with "Your youthful days!"
"Hello,(well, hello) Albus! Well, hello(Hey, look, there's), Albus!"
"Nice to see you Lily finally getting along with James!" Dumbledore sang from in between James and Lily.
"Along with James!" the rest of the school sang.
"You're looking great, Remus, gain some weight? I think you did, Remus. I'm overjoyed and overwhelmed, and over Parr." Remus flushed as Dumbledore recognized how much better he looked when it wasn't a full moon.
"I hear your laughs tinkle, see the candles twinkle and I still get glances from those hopeful women." McGonagall flushed. "So, bridge that gap, children, give that wand a tap, children, Hogwarts is the best school there ever was!"
During the musical break, no one was quite sure what to do, so Sirius gave a furtive glance over to the Slytherin table and muttered, "Rictusempra!" Of course, the Slytherins broke out into a hilarious semi-tap dance with none other than a humiliated Severus Snape as their leader. The Great Hall erupted with laughter. Even Lily and her friends giggled uncontrollably.
"Well, well, hello, Albus! Well, hello, Albus! It's so nice to have you here where you belong! You're so weird, Albus, never thought, Albus, that you'd ever have us sing this Muggle song! I here your laugh tinkle, see your eyes twinkle, and you still get glances from those hopeful women, so---"
"Wa, wa, wow, children," Albus sang.
"Hey, yow!" the school cried.
"Look at the old codger now, children!"
"Albus you are the best there ever was!" all of the students with the exemption of Slytherin House sang.
"I trust the Prefects will lead you dutifully to your dormitories. I hope you'll sleep well with your full bellies. You're dismissed to your dormitories." With that, Dumbledore sat down as if nothing miraculous had just happened. The students all filed out, the Slytherins still tap-dancing because no one bothered to take off the spell.
"I do not give you glances!" McGonagall cried after the students left.
"If you wish to maintain that illusion, by all means, do so, Minerva," Dumbledore said calmly, tracing shapes onto the tablecloth.
A/n: J.K. Rowling owns all these awesome characters (tear she killed Dumbledore! He was my favorite!) and "Hello, Dolly!" belongs to Jerry Herman.