For disclaimer see Chapter 1. I can't be bothered to type it again.
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Pikachu looked at Celandine's back and frowned. At least he did the closest imitation his little yellow face could handle. His trainer and Brock were trekking along behind Celandine, gaping stupidly at her long wavy hair. They looked like a pair of Slow - Wavy? Wasn't it curly when Ash found her? Yet another disturbing change. In the fifteen minutes that she had been leading then to goodness knows where, the Pikachu perched on her shoulder had magically transformed from a normal Pikachu to a Shining Pikachu. Just then, there was a rustle in the undergrowth and -whaddaya know- Team Rocket jumped out.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within - Hey Jessie! It's her!"
"Oh good! We can catch all their Pokemon and the runaway too!"
What, so she's on the run from Team Rocket? Oh there's a surprise, Pikachu thought. That was when a voice called "Pikachu, go!" All right, a battle! Pikachu leapt forward, ready for a fight, cheeks already crackling with electricity. Then it dawned on him that Ash hadn't said that. Ash was still gawping like a moron at Celandine's newly-straight always-perfect hair. Pikachu looked round; half-afraid of what he might see. Celandine was standing behind her own Pikachu. It was her who'd shouted the command. Pikachu - our own, beloved non-shiny Pikachu- stomped back to Ash, folded his arms, and plopped down onto the floor.
Celandine's Pikachu, not surprisingly, blew Team Rocket away with a Thunderpunch. The evil trio soared gracefully through the air and into a tree. Celandine turned her back on the unconscious villains and glided off along the woodland path. Ash got woodenly to his feet and started off after her, but Brock, who seemed to have maintained some fragment of his personality, held him back.
"Uh, Celandine? Why are the Team Rockets after you?"
Celandine sighed and turned around. "To answer that, I would have to tell you the whole long traumatic story of my life, and it is long and traumatic."
No.really? Pikachu thought to himself, a little resentfully. He would never get any good fights if this bimbo girl hogged them all.
"Oh no, Celandine, please tell us the story of your long, traumatic life." Brock said innocently.
"Yeah, please tell us." Ash echoed, like the good little mindless drone that he was. Celandine sighed - again - and began. "As a young child, I was stolen from my parents by Team Rocket and left on a snowy mountain. But the three legendary birds Articuno, Moltres and Zapdos found me and I was raised by them. I lived with them for five years and received from them my gift of speaking with Pokemon. But then a group of Team Rockets came to capture the birds. I warned the birds and saved them, but the Rockets caught me instead. They took me back to their leader, Giovanni, who adopted me. When I was seven, he realised that I was more intelligent and inventive than even his greatest scientists, so he set me to build a machine that would emit a homing signal to all Pokemon, so they would all be drawn to the Team Rocket headquarters. But when I realized what the machine was to be used for, I ran away and took the blueprints for the machine with me. None of the Rocket scientists could understand the machine and they didn't have the blueprints, so, as I was the only one who could continue building the machine, Giovanni sent his Team Rocket grunts after me." As Celandine finished her sad, traumatic tale, Misty wiped a tear from her eye and said fondly "That's my brave little sister!" Ash and Brock applauded. Pikachu didn't say anything. Partly because he couldn't speak, and partly because he was already gaping at her in horror.
That Evening.
Pikachu glanced around cautiously. Celandine's Pokemon were all sitting right on the other side of the camp, but there was no point taking chances. The super-bimbo herself had gone out to find firewood with Brock. Pikachu turned back into the huddle.
"What's up?" Squirtle asked.
"Yeah, I'm hungry!" Bulbasaur complained. Pikachu waved his arms for silence. "Okay pokemon, we have a problem. Something evil has infiltrated our group. Something none of us can ever hope to defeat. A MARY-SUE."
Bulbasaur groaned and fainted into his food bowl. Vulpix raised her head. "What's a Mary-Sue?" the fox Pokemon inquired. Charizard answered her.
"A Mary-Sue is a thing that first appeared about twenty years ago, maybe. No-one actually knows where they came from, though some people think they're actually a rare - though unfortunately not extinct- type of Pokemon. They're always beautiful, excellent Pokemon trainers, have some sort of special power with Pokemon, and are usually related to a famous person. All boys they meet instantly love them due to some kind of Bug Pokemon pheromes or something. In short, they are perfect bimbo girls who try to steal our trainers away from us." The orange dragon rumbled.
"But she can't do that! Everyone with eyes can see that Ash and Misty are made for each other." Staryu interrupted.
"You're just biased in her favour because she's your trainer." Geodude pointed out.
"Oh, so you think Brock and Misty might work better? Or maybe Ash and Brock?" Squirtle giggled, but Charizard shot him a glare that could freeze a Magmar and he shut up. "You know who I think would go well together? Brock and that psycho psychic girl who tried to kill us all. They're both Gym Leaders, after all." Togepi said through a mouthful of PokeChow.
Squirtle giggled again. Yet another Magmar-freezing glare was sent his way.
Pikachu picked up a small twig and rapped it on Onix. Onix didn't notice, probably because he was made of rock. "Hey! Can we get back to the main problem here? Right. Good. We need to get rid of this 'Mary-Sue' fast, okay? Can everyone try and think of an idea to do that?" Pikachu glanced back at Celandine's Pokemon, just to make sure they hadn't scooted closer since the last time he'd checked them. To his horror, the Shining Pikachu was staring back at him and batting her eyelids. Pikachu gulped. "As quickly as possible." He amended. Then Brock and Celandine walked back into the clearing, Celandine grinning like a Persian who'd got the cream and with her arm looped through Brock's.
"Guess what?" Brock announced proudly. "Celandine says that, if I pay for everything, I can take her to dinner and a movie when we reach Fuchsia City! Isn't that brilliant?"
"Before we reach Fuchsia City, then." Pikachu corrected himself.
Pikachu looked at Celandine's back and frowned. At least he did the closest imitation his little yellow face could handle. His trainer and Brock were trekking along behind Celandine, gaping stupidly at her long wavy hair. They looked like a pair of Slow - Wavy? Wasn't it curly when Ash found her? Yet another disturbing change. In the fifteen minutes that she had been leading then to goodness knows where, the Pikachu perched on her shoulder had magically transformed from a normal Pikachu to a Shining Pikachu. Just then, there was a rustle in the undergrowth and -whaddaya know- Team Rocket jumped out.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within - Hey Jessie! It's her!"
"Oh good! We can catch all their Pokemon and the runaway too!"
What, so she's on the run from Team Rocket? Oh there's a surprise, Pikachu thought. That was when a voice called "Pikachu, go!" All right, a battle! Pikachu leapt forward, ready for a fight, cheeks already crackling with electricity. Then it dawned on him that Ash hadn't said that. Ash was still gawping like a moron at Celandine's newly-straight always-perfect hair. Pikachu looked round; half-afraid of what he might see. Celandine was standing behind her own Pikachu. It was her who'd shouted the command. Pikachu - our own, beloved non-shiny Pikachu- stomped back to Ash, folded his arms, and plopped down onto the floor.
Celandine's Pikachu, not surprisingly, blew Team Rocket away with a Thunderpunch. The evil trio soared gracefully through the air and into a tree. Celandine turned her back on the unconscious villains and glided off along the woodland path. Ash got woodenly to his feet and started off after her, but Brock, who seemed to have maintained some fragment of his personality, held him back.
"Uh, Celandine? Why are the Team Rockets after you?"
Celandine sighed and turned around. "To answer that, I would have to tell you the whole long traumatic story of my life, and it is long and traumatic."
No.really? Pikachu thought to himself, a little resentfully. He would never get any good fights if this bimbo girl hogged them all.
"Oh no, Celandine, please tell us the story of your long, traumatic life." Brock said innocently.
"Yeah, please tell us." Ash echoed, like the good little mindless drone that he was. Celandine sighed - again - and began. "As a young child, I was stolen from my parents by Team Rocket and left on a snowy mountain. But the three legendary birds Articuno, Moltres and Zapdos found me and I was raised by them. I lived with them for five years and received from them my gift of speaking with Pokemon. But then a group of Team Rockets came to capture the birds. I warned the birds and saved them, but the Rockets caught me instead. They took me back to their leader, Giovanni, who adopted me. When I was seven, he realised that I was more intelligent and inventive than even his greatest scientists, so he set me to build a machine that would emit a homing signal to all Pokemon, so they would all be drawn to the Team Rocket headquarters. But when I realized what the machine was to be used for, I ran away and took the blueprints for the machine with me. None of the Rocket scientists could understand the machine and they didn't have the blueprints, so, as I was the only one who could continue building the machine, Giovanni sent his Team Rocket grunts after me." As Celandine finished her sad, traumatic tale, Misty wiped a tear from her eye and said fondly "That's my brave little sister!" Ash and Brock applauded. Pikachu didn't say anything. Partly because he couldn't speak, and partly because he was already gaping at her in horror.
That Evening.
Pikachu glanced around cautiously. Celandine's Pokemon were all sitting right on the other side of the camp, but there was no point taking chances. The super-bimbo herself had gone out to find firewood with Brock. Pikachu turned back into the huddle.
"What's up?" Squirtle asked.
"Yeah, I'm hungry!" Bulbasaur complained. Pikachu waved his arms for silence. "Okay pokemon, we have a problem. Something evil has infiltrated our group. Something none of us can ever hope to defeat. A MARY-SUE."
Bulbasaur groaned and fainted into his food bowl. Vulpix raised her head. "What's a Mary-Sue?" the fox Pokemon inquired. Charizard answered her.
"A Mary-Sue is a thing that first appeared about twenty years ago, maybe. No-one actually knows where they came from, though some people think they're actually a rare - though unfortunately not extinct- type of Pokemon. They're always beautiful, excellent Pokemon trainers, have some sort of special power with Pokemon, and are usually related to a famous person. All boys they meet instantly love them due to some kind of Bug Pokemon pheromes or something. In short, they are perfect bimbo girls who try to steal our trainers away from us." The orange dragon rumbled.
"But she can't do that! Everyone with eyes can see that Ash and Misty are made for each other." Staryu interrupted.
"You're just biased in her favour because she's your trainer." Geodude pointed out.
"Oh, so you think Brock and Misty might work better? Or maybe Ash and Brock?" Squirtle giggled, but Charizard shot him a glare that could freeze a Magmar and he shut up. "You know who I think would go well together? Brock and that psycho psychic girl who tried to kill us all. They're both Gym Leaders, after all." Togepi said through a mouthful of PokeChow.
Squirtle giggled again. Yet another Magmar-freezing glare was sent his way.
Pikachu picked up a small twig and rapped it on Onix. Onix didn't notice, probably because he was made of rock. "Hey! Can we get back to the main problem here? Right. Good. We need to get rid of this 'Mary-Sue' fast, okay? Can everyone try and think of an idea to do that?" Pikachu glanced back at Celandine's Pokemon, just to make sure they hadn't scooted closer since the last time he'd checked them. To his horror, the Shining Pikachu was staring back at him and batting her eyelids. Pikachu gulped. "As quickly as possible." He amended. Then Brock and Celandine walked back into the clearing, Celandine grinning like a Persian who'd got the cream and with her arm looped through Brock's.
"Guess what?" Brock announced proudly. "Celandine says that, if I pay for everything, I can take her to dinner and a movie when we reach Fuchsia City! Isn't that brilliant?"
"Before we reach Fuchsia City, then." Pikachu corrected himself.