Chapter 38
"What were you thinking!" The Lord Marshall demanded.
"That we aren't in the business of killing children." Afiona answered calmly. Her calm demeanor was driving him up the wall and she knew it. "Besides, they are gifted which means sooner or later they would have been burned by the priests."
The Lord Marshall looked over at the two boys standing behind Afiona. They weren't hiding behind her as he expected but they still kept their attention focused on her.
"What are we supposed to do with them?" He demanded.
Afiona looked back at them. "They're too young to be drafted into the army so I guess that means they're my responsibility."
"They're prisoners of war." He protested.
Afiona crossed her arms over her chest and favored the powerful man before her with a look designed to make him doubt his own intelligence. "They are minors and therefore, by law, we are obliged to offer them sanctuary if their lives are endangered in their own country."
"Don't go preaching the law at me." The Lord Marshall ordered.
"Don't forget we are Valdemarans and it is our duty as representatives to act according to the ethical standards our kingdom has lived by for centuries. Like evacuating dangerous areas of civilians or to show compassion to the defeated." Afiona said stiffly.
The Lord Marshall drew himself up. "We have a war to fight here."
"But if we forget what that banner stands for—" Afiona started to argue.
"Don't preach at me. I have to worry about my men as well as the Karsites." He interrupted.
Afiona glowered up at him then reached up and snagged his ear. He yelped in pain as she dragged him from the tent towards the Healing tents. "Let me introduce you to your men."
People stopped and stared as she hauled him into the main tent. Soldiers, Heralds, civilians who had been in the wrong place all lay on the narrow cots. There was little room for the games that kept the patients occupied as the Healers bustled about with the morning's work. Boredom and pain were evident everywhere. Some were so swathed in bandages it was impossible to identify them. Others weren't conscious and the only sign they were still alive was the close attention the Healers paid to them.
"I don't think you're worried enough about your own men." Afiona said as she released him. "You are becoming more and more reckless and more and more are being injured or killed because of it. Don't tell me you are even thinking about the well being of Valdemar when you send them out on foolhardy missions because all you're thinking about is victory at any cost, even if that cost is Valdemar herself."
His face flushed as he looked around and met all the curious stares.
"Care to see the other tents?" Afiona asked. "We have lost limbs, broken backs, and even brain damage. Out back we're still trying to deal with the dead. You better believe I hold you solely responsible for every injury."
He glared at her, his hands in fists at his sides, for a second she thought he was going to strike her but he turned on his heel and stomped away.
Esrich, the taller boy, leaned forward. "Will we stay?" He whispered.
"Yes." Afiona assured him.
"He seems quite mad." Ulther commented.
"Oh he is, but not about you." Afiona quickly assured him. "More with me than anything."
"You aren't in trouble over us?" Esrich asked worriedly.
"No." Afiona assured him again.
Both boys relaxed.
"Ma'am. Why haven't you asked us anything?" Ulther, the more practical and the mindspeaker, asked.
Afiona just smiled and walked away. The boys quickly followed her; too many of the wounded and some of the Healers did not appreciate their presence.
"You're going to make her mad." Esrich whispered to Ulther.
"We need to know." Ulther whispered back.
"We can't go back. I told you." Esrich reminded him. "We're safe here."
"Safe until someone decides we know something strategic." Ulther said sarcastically.
"No, we're really safe." Esrich insisted. "I dreamed it."
"How do you know it's not wishful thinking?" Ulther challenged.
"I dreamed of a kind lady offering us sanctuary and I was right." Esrich pointed out.
Afiona smiled as she listened.
"Conspiring with the enemy?" Seviot demanded snidely from just past the trampled earth that was the makeshift courtyard for the Healing tents.
"I wondered when you'd show up." Afiona said sweetly as she strode past him. "Nothing travels as fast in this camp as the gossip."
"What's he saying?" Esrich asked.
"Nothing interesting." Afiona answered. "I need to get some work done. What are your plans?"
"We'll stay with you." Esrich said quickly.
Afiona wasn't too surprised by their answer as she led the way to her tent. Leander was bent over a diagram making notes furiously.
"Ah, Afiona, there you are." He said brightly. "I have some questions to ask."
The boys sat on the cot as Afiona pulled up a chair next to him and studied the paper.
"I like your bodyguards." He said conversationally. "What did you tell them that made them so protective?"
"I told them nothing." Afiona assured him. "They aren't fools, I am the only thing between being guests and being prisoners. It's nice being able to save someone who isn't bleeding to death."
"Ah, that explains it." Leander said in understanding. "We all need something to reaffirm our faith in our abilities."
Afiona glanced over at the pair then down at the paper. "Now, what are we studying, this looks all flipped around."
"It is, I have a patient whose heart is on the wrong side and I need to open him to remove a piece of an arrow head." Leander explained. "I need a map of what's where before I can do anything."
"Why don't you just ask a fetching Herald to help? There is probably two or three sitting in there healing." Afiona suggested.
"I think I might. But if they miss they could cause more damage." Leander pointed out.
"Then get a Seer and a Healer to link with him." Afiona straightened. "Have you seen the night reports? I think I left them in here."
"Before you were called away to treat the Lord Marshall's bleeding stomach?" Leander asked as he shuffled through papers in search of the missing reports. "Dragging him down here by the ear certainly won't help with that."
"But it was needed." Afiona protested.
"I'll agree with you there." Leander chuckled. "Here's the reports. Anything interesting happen last night? I hear you were like a tick, nearly impossible to get rid of."
"Not you too." Afiona rolled her eyes. "Shain and Stef are bad enough. At least Medren is busy worrying about Mia and Nico is in Haven."
"Hard to sleep with all this need around us, I know." Leander leaned back in the chair. "You'll learn the skill eventually, I guess. But leave the simple things for the children, we're going to need you on the more difficult cases. Like when they haul in the wounded, there you are priceless. But knitting bones and closing small wounds is a waste of your energy when tomorrow we'll have more. Speaking of wounded, other than the ones from this morning's little altercation, what are we expecting?"
"Action this afternoon." Afiona said with a sigh. "Which means I have to fit a days work between now and then."
"Get someone else to handle it." Leander advised. "Read a book or go for a swim for the time being. You're too stressed."
Afiona grumbled something about nosy empaths that made Leander laugh.
"I'll go see about trying removing that bit of arrow with the Heralds. You try taking someone's advice for a change." Leander said as he stood and straightened his faded robes.
"I take advice." Afiona protested.
"Not if it's personal." Leander corrected as he left.
Afiona opened the reports and started reading. The boys kept shifting uncomfortably, catching her attention. "There is a Sunpriest here somewhere who could use your help." She said looking up from her papers. "He's one who left when the madness started and has no problem with the gifted."
Both boys' eyes grew large and they watched her warily.
"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." Afiona promised.
Esrich gave Ulther a look that was best interpreted as 'I told you so' and stood. "Where might we find him?"
:I'll take them to him.: Daric offered.
Ulther jolted slightly and Afiona suspected he had heard Daric's sending.
"Daric will take you to the Priest, the white horse." Afiona pointed through the doorway at Daric who had been grazing up until then.
"The demon horse?" Esrich asked doubtfully.
"He is no more demonic than you are. If you are unsure, you can always ask the priest." Afiona suggested.
The boys were both hesitant but followed Daric at a comfortable distance. Afiona made a mental note to find someone to teach them soon. Ulther wasn't broadcasting yet but he would soon enough or if he was scared.
Resting her chin on her hand started wading through the day's paperwork.
- - - -
Afiona sat on the edge of the cot with a soft thump and rested her elbows on her knees. :Serves you right for dressing like a target.: She teased the occupant of the bed.
Mia opened one eye and grinned. :If it isn't the great and omniscient Healer Afiona.:
Afiona chuckled weakly. :Oh, I wish I were all knowing sometimes, but usually I think I know too little. You've been driving my healers bonkers.: She scolded lightly.
:I know. They keep saying 'Mama-Afi will know what to do'. Hence, you must be omniscient.: Mia shifted over so Afiona had more room. :Are you only here to make certain I stay put?:
:No. I'm using you as an excuse to sit down for a while.: Afiona explained. :Nothing short of tying you to a massive rock will keep you in place. So long as I don't see you mounted and riding into battle I won't order them to drug you.:
:No offense, but you look like death warmed over.: Mia ignored Afiona's attempt at lighthearted teasing. :You're pale and you look like you have black eyes rather than just bags under the eyes. What's happening with you?:
:Everything.: Afiona admitted. :I miss Lance. Every time they start dragging in wounded I start wondering when it will be him. I even have nightmares about it. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the first night he got here. Every night since then either it's nightmares of my own making or ones I'm picking up from the others.:
Mia patted her hand reassuringly then frowned. :Girl, you are as cold as stone, you realize that? Are you getting headaches?:
:Constantly. I know what you're thinking, that I have over extended myself but I haven't.: Afiona quickly protested.
Mia snorted. :Now that's a pile of horse droppings. I know the signs. I've seen plenty of Heralds looking like you since I was Chosen -- cold to the touch, constant headaches, inability to sleep, excessive weight loss, and weak shields-- you're way over extended. I thought Healers had a better sense of self preservation than Heralds.:
:It's not that bad.: Afiona protested. :Those are all signs of stress too.:
:It doesn't take a genius to see you're stressed, but this is more than that. You were stressed when you arrived and you were nothing like this.: Mia struggled to sit up but Afiona stopped her with a hand to the shoulder. :I bet you can see your ribs now, this is more than just not healthy, this is bloody dangerous. Let me guess, the Healers realized you were willing to Heal humans now and haven't let you stop. You're powerful, one of the strongest that has come out of Healers in living memory, but you are not immortal.:
:I know I'm mortal.: Afiona snapped. :I am only filling a need.:
:Afiona, strong gifts are deceptive.: Mia's voice had taken on a much more pleading tone. :A weak healer would use only a trickle of his own energies so it takes him less time to recover his energies. You use a river compared to them but you aren't allowing yourself more time to recover you energies. Didn't they teach you that in that Collegium before they painted you green and tossed you out?:
:More powerful gifts tend to have larger resources.: Afiona pointed out defensively.
:Unless you're a mage you only have what energies are possessed within your body and there is limit. I had a mage as one of my early teachers. It's like a glass of water; when you use your energies it's drained, when you eat or sleep it refills but it can never exceed the capacity dictated by the glass. Now if you are using a great deal of that energy every day and then not eating or sleeping properly they body is forced to feed upon its self to replenish itself.: Mia lectured. :He taught me the signs to watch for in myself and others. He also told me that it often ends with your body shutting down. Maybe an organ and you often slip into a coma if not die.:
:That's not going to happen.: Afiona swore.
:Promise me, if you start seeing glowing spots or if you have a hard time thinking you'll talk to one of the other Healers. Please.: Mia begged, sensing her friend was unwilling to listen to reason.
:Why would I push myself that hard?: Afiona asked.
:Because you're desperate for affection and acceptance.: Mia answered honestly. :You're desperate to show to the Healers you aren't a cold, heartless beast. Even Rissa commented on it before we left Haven. After your brother was killed you suddenly started trying to find ways to help. I doubt that was your sole reason but it was part of it. Let's face it, you liked being with the Heralds because the entire lot of us think you're a godsend and wonderful. That may have been the first time in your life you were treat like a valuable part of a group and when the Healers turned on you, you lost part of that. First you started watching the Karsites. Then you started taking over what classes you could. After that you started healing humans, maybe only Heralds at first but now you've moved onto to others. Now you've taken this assignment as Senior Healer even though you were already serving the Heralds and Companions, raising Nico, and spying. You're doing the work of four with the resources of one.:
Afiona stood with her hands in fists at her sides. :I am not desperate for approval! I can't believe you actually think I am that juvenile.:
Before Mia could placate her Afiona stood, spun on her heel, and stalked off.
:Well, I messed that up.: Mia grumbled to Lika who agreed sympathetically.
In her office Afiona flopped into her chair in her office. :If I were so desperate for approval why would I drag the Lord Marshall around by the ear? Why would I take in the boys when it's obviously an unpopular decision? Why would I run this camp with complete disregard for all prior procedures?: Afiona asked Daric.
:Because you're rebelling a little?: Daric suggested.
:Do you agree with her?: Afiona demanded.
:No, I think you're doing it all because you see a need and want to fill it.: Daric reassured her.
Afiona was still fuming as she slid the day's list of fatalities out from under a pile of papers. :Exactly.: She said as she stood again with the list so she could deal with the loathsome task of informing the officers. :That's what Heralds do.:
- - - -
Esrich looked up from his plate of food, which was rapidly disappearing in the void he called a stomach. "Lady Afiona, have you spoken any more to the Lord about us?"He asked.
"No, there's been no need." Afiona assured him. "The priest sent word that he thought you were both bright examples of the good in Karse and that he would welcome your aid again tomorrow when he collects the belongings of the dead and packages them so they can be shipped to their families. He and the other priests feel it's the least they can do since they are forbidden to pray for our victory."
"Why can't they?" Ulther asked confusedly. "How do you expect to win if you do not call upon your God to help?"
"It's the law, has been since Valdemar was founded." Afiona shrugged. She never understood that law either. Perhaps they would explain it when she finally got onto the rolls as a trainee.
Both boys shook their heads and looked like they doubted the sanity of that law.
"Karse and Valdemar are very different." Esrich said softly.
"Not really." Afiona frowned. "We have the same type of people as Karse. We have our thieves, our gossips, and our warriors, just as Karse does, and it's the people that make the country. At the moment the major difference right now is the beliefs of the leaders."
"You are magic users where Karse believes magic to be unholy." Ulther stirred his food with his fork, a crease between his brows.
"But the priests are using Magic." Afiona pointed out and watched for their reactions. Both boys stared at her aghast.
"But they are the ones who hunt down the magic users." Ulther protested.
Afiona wondered how much to say. "And if the only remaining mages are in the priesthood it gives them a tool to keep the country in line."
"She's right." Esrich nibbled on his bottom lip. "Who better to catch a witch than a witch?"
Ulther shook his head slowly.
"I don't mean all are magic users." Afiona said as she studied her plate. "Many have true callings, many might not even agree with the high priests. But there are mages among the upper echelons of the priests. I read somewhere that the gods are infallible but it doesn't mean that mortals always interpret the message correctly."
Ulther seemed more reassured at her words; Afiona was starting to wonder if the boy had a calling.
Esrich nodded madly. "That sounds true."
"We should hurry up." Afiona suggested. "I'm sure you two would like a chance to clean up after the heavy work you did today helping the others move away from the woods. If you hurry I believe you should be able to bathe alone."
Both boys resumed clearing their plates with a speed and single-mindedness only teenagers seemed capable of.
- - - -
Satisfied her charges were well occupied for the time being, Afiona returned to her small cabin. Her bed was unmade, her dirty robes were folded and piled in a corner until the next time she had a chance to clean them, the two robes she had left that were clean were folded beside her bed.
Sinking onto the thin mattress she half groaned, half sighed. Slipping into a trance she reached for Nico in Haven.
Gods only knew when she'd get another chance to talk to him.
:Mama-Afi!: Nico greeted her with his customary enthusiasm. :Tell a story?:
:No sweetie, I don't have time today.: Afiona said apologetically.
She Felt Nico's disappointment. :Are you being good?: She asked.
:Almost.: Nico said honestly. :Auntie Felisa says I'm being good.:
It took Afiona a few seconds to remember the sweet little mare that had been sent back with Nico and Tika with her badly injured Herald. She had four children of her own, all grown, so Afiona was very glad she had taken Nico under her wing. He fell into a happy recital of his day and with whom he was playing so all Afiona needed to do was make the appropriate interested sounds.
:Mama-Afi, your head hurts?: He said worriedly.
Afiona refrained from cursing. :I have to go, Nico. You behave, right?:
:Right.: Nico promised. :Maybe Lance kiss your head better.: He suggested.
Afiona chuckled at his suggestion. She, like many mothers, performed the ritual of kissing bruises and scrapes better. :When I see Lance I'll ask him to.:
:Lance likes kissing.: Nico commented. :'Specially Mama-Afi. I told Auntie Felisa that you like kissing too. And hugging. I like hugging too.:
:I know, baby. When I see you I'm going to give you a big hug.: She promised.
:A big hug and a cuddle.: Nico urged.
:And a cuddle.: Afiona promised.
Nico finally let her drop the connection. As she emerged from her trance she sensed a strong disturbance almost right on top of her.
Opening her eyes she saw a vague shape reaching towards her. Rolling away she hit the wall as the shadow jumped back at her movement. Reaching out with her Gifts she grabbed hold of his nervous system and 'yanked'. The intruder crumpled next to her, quivering like a leaf.
Scrambling over top of him she opened her door allowing the setting sun's light to flood in, illuminating Seviot's prone form.
"Damn." She cursed as she rolled him onto his back. Only the fact that he was a healer had saved him from permanent damage being done, but he wasn't a threat to her anymore for the moment.
:Daric?: She called hesitantly.
:I'm coming!: Daric assured her.
:No need to rush.: Afiona rubbed her temples and grimaced at the throbbing pain. :He's not going anywhere.:
Despite her assurances of her safety, Daric nearly broke the door down when he arrived.
Opening the door before he pushed it off its hinges she stood to the side, allowing Daric full view of the incapacitated healer.
:What happened?: Daric asked.
:If he hadn't been a healer I would have killed him.: Afiona bit her bottom lip as tears pricked the back of her eyes. The feelings of guilt and shame mixed in with her anger and pain.
:I get the feeling the Healers are not going to approve.: Daric said darkly.
:That is an understatement.: Afiona sighed.
:What's that?: Daric used his hoof to move Seviot over to reveal a long, slim dagger. :Well, that wouldn't be approved of either.:
Afiona carefully picked up the knife and stared at it mutely for several seconds. :It would seem he is determined to be rid of me.:
:You know what I'm thinking? Blackmail.: Daric said thoughtfully. :You can't complain because you reacted badly and he can't because you have the knife and a Herald could truth spell you and him. He'd be executed for trying to kill a Herald. At worst you'd lose your greens for reacting in a way that could cause permanent harm.:
:That doesn't seem very Companion-like.: Afiona frowned up at her Companion.
:My original solution would have been worse.: He admitted. :You don't try and cure a mad dog, you kill it before he kills you.:
:He's not a dog though. He's a human being.: Afiona protested.
Daric snorted coldly. :Could've fooled me.: