( disclaimer - this is a fanfic, and i am merely a fan )
( dedication - angel of mirth .. thank you, for never giving up on me. thank you all. )
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- Messages -
- Chapter 12 -
- Said -
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"I am telling you now, before the full breath of your response is wasted, that I am speaking to you on a muted comm and cannot hear your responses.
A childish act, I agree, and quite fitting, I suppose, considering my regrettible immaturity in all such matters involving you.
But had you responded to a gravestone, i imagine it would be no different.
Still I think that would have been better than this, don't you?
It seems i misinterpreted my role in this drama. How incredible were my dellusions of grandeur to presume I could rightfully step from my role as the handsome prince's whipping girl.
I knew long ago I was never destined to be any more than a tool of your rise, Oh King.
But just how thick were the blinds you stitched to me eyes to hide my destiny of futile stagnation at your side?
Fuck you, Zechs.
You couldn't stop at taking her body, her heart, my power, my breath.
You stole my death, Your Highness.
And maybe, just maybe it is time to explore your vast, bloated kingdom, Handsome King Peacecraft.
Allow me this aside. In the days I've had to contemplate how what went wrong, I found myself breaking down the complex events and ever reaching the same mysterious key.
Did you ever realize the extensive applications of the Law of Conservation of Energy?
As a seasoned tactician, you obviously have noticed the amazing similarieties between wars and physics. But you never involved yourself in direct calculations, did you. You never made the mistakes my family made. You knew there was something more.
In 1685, Gottfried Leibniz had a name for that missing ethereal step. Think back and try to rememeber what he called it.
Hundreds of years have clouded his simple explanation by numbers and formulae. Such a pity, is it not? A statement as majestic as the colored lights raining down across a cathedral's floor, and man cannot sleep till he has torns its hues from God's numbered canvas to destroy its holy perfection.
The term still applies to Celestial Mechanics ... how fitting, don't you think? ... Lightning Count.
'Vis viva'
'Living force'
Passion, Zechs.
Love, Milliardo.
Emotions, Count.
Will, General.
Fuck you.
Fuck you for forgetting those, Merquise, forgetting them now when your survival has relied upon them so completely.
I died for them.
Luc will wish she had.
And she doesn't even know it yet..
That you will never love her as a human again.
Oh, you loathe the laughter in my voice, don't you?
Good.
Guards? ... Gentleman, please be on guard.
Fifty-six, Zechs.
Fifty-six Percent.
She'll wake, soon. I think I'll tell her myself.
We both know you'll never look at her again, you Supremist Fuck.
Gentleman Guards, how does he look at you each?
Three of you have cybernetics. And you've told him, haven't you? Or had you heard the rumors of the lauded Count's immeasurable disdain and kept your little secret hidden under the provisionary auspice of Act 3.491's 'Optional Secrecy' Clause? I, for one, would suggest it, all things considered.
You don't like a civilian giving your soldiers ideas, do you Zechs.
It's the only humanitarian thing I can do, knowing they are in such proximity with such an outspoken advocate of 'death before mechanation'.
Gentleman Guards, don't you think it is humorous as well?
The Cyborg hater in your midst is now married to one.
The handsome blonde king, and at his side the metal half breed on her knees leashed to his hand.
Why don't we offer her a divorce before you look at her again? ... In truth it is the only humane course of action. I mean let's be honest. You wouldn't sleep with a half woman.
Oh wait, she's actually not even half natural anymore, is she?
Oh too rich, too deliciously rich.
Please... , please forgive me. I speak with so little tact, so small a pittence of propriety. How foolish of me to suggest you'd actually look at what you sleeping with.
I mean, certainly you look where you're aiming, but we must be rational here.
She turned her back on an entire planet to follow you, Zechs. She gave up every fleeting hope of understanding your cause and yet still oathed her life to you to stay by your side and follow your lead. But she was just one among the half million other soldiers you waved to from a balcony and signed the waiver to their deaths, wasn't she.
You married her, Zechs. And I saw you say the words 'in sickness and in health' ... God, how lucky you are the ancient traditional chants did not include 'or dehumanization to a machine'. It would have been such a pity to watch you shake your head and walk away from such an indignant contract. Such a travesty to see you run from binding words so audaciously assuming you could be a man who loves those less than as wholy perfect as yourself.
Certainly, yes, we must allow Noin to divorce you quietly now. I hope you agree it is not her fault that legal clauses still content she is your wife despite her current state.
Yes, something quiet. A paper signed, and stamp placed. It will be over soon and you'll be free to find another lover from the thousands who already have married you in their minds and forsaken hearts.
Since you obviously never figured it out yourself, I'll go ahead and tell you that i was among them.
Facinating, isn't it? I bet you never guessed. Noin was a soldier, and I was politician. So the fact that you rebelled against your supreriors in battle after disowning your birthright to royalty means both she and I never truly had places within your new perfect life, did we.
Have I awoken your anger, Zechs?
Have I held your attention for these few brief moments?
You never granted me this much attention before for any other cause.
Love, honor, a half trillion gold or zero's entire armada...
My death...
Your wife's body destroyed...
What does it take, You heartless Fuck?
Fuck you, Zechs.
Fuck you, Peacecraft.
All I ever needed was to fu-...
was to...
God...
It's not fair, Prince.
It was never fair.
Not for me to live so close to you...
Luc to pay this price for saving me...
She wants to have your child...
And so did I...
I guess there's only one contender now, not that you ever had a clue anyhow, so it really doesn't matter.
Luc will wake in less than one hour.
Obviously they won't let a maniac like you anywhere near her till she's recovered from the news. So I'll pass on your regards.
I'll be your little messenger...
Just like old times...
I've accepted my fate.
Noin will accept hers.
Fate just seems to accept you, though, King.
So I'm sure you'll be fine without us.
What little of my debt to her, that can be paid, has.
She'll do anything to keep you, but I'm sure she'll accept your rejection with dignity.
And I will forever pay for my weakness that I could not.
I know better than to ask forgiveness...
And I never wanted your pity...
Actually, I find myself comforted by your hatred.
Why couldn't you have just been mean to me, Zechs?
Why couldn't you have just driven me away?
How thick are the blinds, Merquise?
The ones that avert your eyes from the pain of those around you?
When you look at Luc and see how much pain she is in, will you see nothing? .. The same nothingness you saw when you looked at me?
Or did you simply never look at me at all?
It is time.
God save the King."
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