A tale of Una's unhappy quest for revenge on James Joyce. A sort of metaphorical one, however, since he is dead. She need's revenge after realizing that although she quit reading it (60 pages) the first time because of it's lack of plot, ect ... it might be percieved by the evil vioces in her head as "LAZY" or, worse "SUBINTELLIGENT." And ... she didn't want to be lumped in with the decidedly neanderthalian populace.

Cretin 1: after first sentence: Me quit! Brain hurt!

Cretin 2: Quit what?

Cretin 1: Big Book. Biiig book.

Also, (you need more reasons than those), she had just finished "A Clockwork Orange" and felt cocky. Note to Una: Never feel cocky, as pride comes before a Fall.

Day One:

Read the history in intro. I had already know about it being banned/burnt/ect, however, it served to refresh the possibility of actually liking it in my mind. Possible. But everything is possible.

Pages Down: 35

Attention to detail slightly fascinating. Not as boring as I remembered. Then again, longer than I remembered.

Tried not to think about its charred life whilst my conservative-yes-I-support-banning-books-mother's shadow loomed over me with a garden hose. Lucky she aimed for the plants.

I got sprayed by the sprinkler. Tried to feel bad when the book got a little. Failed. Note: Stop reading outside.

Day One (later):

Came up with genius idea if mom asks about book. "It's about this Irish bloke Stephen, who's a schoolteacher." If I'm feeling desperate, I'll provide some England/Ireland tension on the side served with a dose of anti-Jewishness.

Day One (later, later):

Well, the above brilliant plan worked like magic. Hook, line, sinker and then some.

Me: explains book, censored version

Mom: So sad what's happened there it Ireland ... Those Catholics and Protestants ...

A smirk is in order.

Day Three (DAMN):

Bad Thoughts: Must ... NOT ... Skim ... sound of my soul screaming in agony

Positive Ones: 54 isn't so bad. Plus, stream of conciousness is possibly my favorite style to write in. Not read. Definitely not. Maybe when I ...GROW UP... I'll appreciate it more?